Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share stories of times they were bitten on the balls and the discussion leaves Chuck and Andy in some vulnerable positions.
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00:00Here's my question
00:08How did your balls get bit
00:11What happened
00:15It's a different question
00:16It's going to be a lot of calls with one way they got bit
00:20I had a buddy who got his balls bit
00:24What led to you getting your scrotum bitten
00:29It was one of my buddies, Andrew
00:32And he showed up one day and had a look on his face
00:35He was walking funny and he had quite a look
00:39And we're like, what's up with you, man?
00:42What happened?
00:43And he was like, guys
00:44His cat, somehow, however he was sleeping
00:48And the covers were moved
00:50The cat saw his nuts hanging
00:54So the cat bit down on his ball
00:58And scratched it all up with its back
01:02His hind, like it grabbed it
01:04Scratched it up with the, kicked it with the back legs
01:07Trying to tear
01:08It was torn asunder
01:10Oh, no!
01:11It tore it up, huh?
01:12It tore it up
01:12Irresponsible cat owner
01:14Where you can't leave your balls out with a cat around
01:16No, you know what?
01:18That is not a joke
01:19What Lisa's saying is not a joke
01:21This is Lisa Wayne
01:22He didn't know, Lisa
01:23He didn't know we were young
01:25For the Michigan Humane Society
01:27We'll be an irresponsible cat owner
01:29In this holiday season
01:31Don't leave your balls out
01:32This one, a buddy and I were fishing in a boat
01:34On a river in Traverse City
01:35All of a sudden, my buddy started screaming
01:37My balls!
01:38My balls!
01:39Something's biting!
01:40My balls!
01:41What?
01:41Stood up in the rowboat
01:42Ripped his pants off
01:44There was a wasp's nest under the seat
01:46That he was sitting on
01:47And as he moved around
01:49It hit him in the ass and balls
01:52He ended up jumping in the river
01:54Butt-ass naked
01:55You're like, what?
01:57Tell me clearly what's happening!
01:59Because I knew what had to happen to my balls!
02:04I am, I'm terrified
02:05I got an oar up on
02:07Like, what's happening?
02:10What supernatural force has your balls?
02:12Tell us!
02:13I'm waiting to end it for you
02:16Like, I'm
02:17You say the word
02:19I'll just club you to death
02:20You start screaming
02:21Your balls, your balls
02:22In a terrifying, painful manner
02:24You got my attention
02:25Oh, like nothing else
02:27Yeah
02:27Jerry from Detroit
02:30We're wondering how people's balls
02:31Have been bitten
02:31After a woman bit her husband's scrotum
02:34What's your story?
02:35Something flew in the window
02:36Hit me in the neck
02:37And I'm, you know
02:38Your reaction is
02:39Just start
02:40What is this?
02:40Just start hitting it
02:42And whatever it was
02:43I didn't see what it was
02:44Went down my shirt
02:45In my sister's kitchen
02:47I told my nephew
02:48I'm thinking
02:49I said
02:49What?
02:50What was that?
02:51I gotta find out
02:52So I just
02:53Undid my pants
02:54Right there
02:55There was a bee
02:56That was on my underwear
02:58On my thing
02:59Not the balls
03:00Yeah
03:01It didn't sting
03:02But it was
03:02It was
03:03I stunned it
03:05I guess
03:05Because I whacked it so hard
03:07Yeah, I think that'd be the only time
03:08You would be
03:09Say you'd be, you know
03:10Devastated if people saw your stage one
03:12But if there's a bee down there
03:14You're whipping it out, right?
03:16Nope
03:16You're gonna take the bite?
03:18I'm taking the sting for the team
03:20There's an audience
03:20There's an audience
03:22I'm like
03:25Everyone
03:26Leave the room
03:29You'd have to remain calm
03:31You do
03:32You're just being stunned
03:33You can't panic
03:34Everyone
03:36I need you
03:38I must ask for some privacy
03:40Yeah, you'd have to
03:42Please
03:42Right, like
03:43Because it would be urgent
03:43But you wouldn't be able to like
03:45Flail around
03:45Right
03:46So how would you
03:47Stop the conversation
03:49And leave the room
03:52Now
03:53I think you'd have to be my big one
03:55What's going on?
03:56You'd have to be more
03:57You'd have to have a more urgent
03:58Shut up and leave
04:00Leave the room
04:02We're not leaving
04:05What do you mean leave?
04:08We're doing a show
04:09Get out of the goddamn room
04:11Randy's next
04:13Hi, Randy
04:14Hey, how's it going, guys?
04:16Oh, we're doing okay
04:17What's your comment?
04:18Alright, my buddy and I
04:19We went canoeing a couple years ago
04:21Down the Rifle River
04:22And we were joking around
04:23Because one of my friends
04:25Had a leech on him
04:25And so he went in the bathroom
04:27To go over to the restroom
04:28And he came out
04:29Screaming out of the outhouse
04:31And he actually had a leech
04:32Underneath it
04:33Where his taint is
04:34I got a leech on my taint!
04:36I got a leech on my taint!
04:39Get the leech on my taint!
04:41That's when you hope
04:41You have your woman with you
04:43Because then she can help
04:44Get the taint leech
04:44Could you imagine
04:45Having to fish
04:46Someone's taint leech
04:47Off the leech
04:48No, but I would do it
04:49You would do it
04:50Yeah, I would do it
04:51But then
04:52I would help
04:53I gotta get a leech off of you
04:54Can't have a leech
04:56It's real weird
04:57The next time you go
04:58To do it with him
04:58Oh, it is
05:00Because you're like
05:00Oh, you remember
05:01When I had my legs
05:02Kicked up like a little baby
05:03And you pulled the
05:04Pulled the leech off my taint?
05:07You're hot and bothered now
05:08Is that how you
05:09Is that how you would do it?
05:13I don't know
05:13How would you do it again?
05:16That's not good
05:17I didn't know
05:18I didn't know
05:19It was going to be that
05:19Hold on, hold on
05:20And he's showing his head
05:22Get low!
05:23Get low!
05:24Get out of here
05:24I have a rip in my pants
05:26I don't want to show too much
05:27That's how you're doing it?
05:30Show my zebra
05:31I didn't know
05:31That this would be the way
05:32Wait a second
05:34I thought there would be
05:35A different way
05:36I'm not looking
05:36Get in there
05:37Wouldn't you just bend over?
05:39Lisa, do it!
05:39Bend over!
05:41Lisa, get your fingernail over it!
05:43You've got to go front view
05:44Like that, Lisa
05:45You can't bend them
05:46Alright!
05:49No!
05:50I'm not giving you the be-hole!
05:52I'm not giving you this!
05:54You can't go be-hole first
05:55Oh my god
05:56Look at the be-hole again
05:57I'm not doing that to you
05:59Come on
06:00Jesus, Lisa
06:01Oh no
06:03Lisa, wait
06:03I don't like any of these positions
06:05Never mind
06:05I take it back
06:06I can't do it now
06:08No, I just got my balls cut
06:08And I'm pulling them up
06:10As high as I can
06:11And I'm like
06:11Come on
06:12I'm sorry
06:12I wouldn't be
06:12She thought it would be better
06:14You thought it would be better?
06:15She thought it would be better!
06:17Bend over!
06:18I don't know
06:19What was she thinking about the team?
06:21I don't know
06:21I don't know
06:22I don't know
06:23I just thought it would be better than that
06:27But I didn't know
06:28who thought it would be better than that
06:28You thought it would be better than that
06:28If you could do it to him
06:41you thought it would be better than the other style