Dave & Chuck the Freak share a listeners e-mail about her boyfriend receiving free haircuts and Chuck reveals he might allow a little more than a haircut to happen.
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00:00When did you realize nothing in life is free?
00:13We'll start off with this email from a listener who wants to be anonymous.
00:17She says, hey, Dave and Chuck the Freak, here's the situation.
00:20I need advice.
00:21I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half.
00:23A couple of months ago at his work, he ran into this guy.
00:26Okay, this guy thought he looked like his old good friend.
00:30Now, he knows that my boyfriend isn't his old friend, but he looks like him a lot.
00:35After that, he explained to him how he cuts hair, and he wanted to offer him a free haircut.
00:40This guy would text my boyfriend, telling him to come into his salon, and he'll give him a free haircut.
00:46Just come on in, and I'll just snip that hair for you, brush you up, give you a nice wash.
00:53I don't understand why he keeps giving my boyfriend free haircuts.
00:57I wanted to email you to see, is this actually weird?
01:00Am I making it weirder than it is?
01:02Would you guys keep accepting free haircuts from a man at a salon you barely knew?
01:06This guy is into this guy that he's offering free haircuts to.
01:11You think?
01:12Let me ask you this.
01:13If you guys, if there was a gay guy who was into you.
01:16All gay guys are into me.
01:17Right, and he offered you free haircuts, or free, let's, I don't know what service, free lawn cuts, whatever it is that Chuck would use.
01:24Andy, would you go?
01:25Well, I mean, like, if it was one free haircut, I'd take it.
01:29If it started to be like, every couple of weeks I'm getting a text from somebody, and I'm like, oh, you know, like, I might go in again and be like, no, I'm going to pay for it.
01:37I'm riding it out.
01:38There's a lot of guys saying that.
01:40A free haircut's a free haircut.
01:41If he's gay, who cares?
01:42As long as he doesn't try and fondle your b-hole, you're good.
01:44And I'd even probably let him get away with touching my shoulders a bit.
01:51You know?
01:53He wants to wash my hair a bit longer than he probably should?
01:57Fine, whatever.
01:59You know, the haircuts are free.
02:01You will pimp yourself out, basically.
02:02Haircuts are free.
02:02Free haircut.
02:03Shoulders and the head.
02:04Chuck, you're a slut.
02:05I know.
02:06You are a slut.
02:06You're a cheap slut, Chuck.
02:08I am a cheap whore.
02:09I'm a cheap whore.
02:09You're a cheap slut.
02:11I didn't believe what I did.
02:12I always knew that about you.
02:15Lisa's known.
02:16I have.
02:18She had me pegged from the beginning.
02:20Chuck is a cheap slut.
02:21Chuck is just a cheap slut.
02:24He's got to touch my shoulders a bit.
02:27You haven't let it ride.
02:28Come on, I mean, there's a little tit for tat.
02:32I'm not going to jerk them off.
02:34I've just never been like that.
02:35I'm like, I'd rather buy something.
02:37That's how I am, too.
02:38I just would always.
02:38I've always been like that.
02:40I'm not one of those people that's like somebody with a t-shirt cannon's aiming at me and I'm about to have a heart attack.
02:46Because I'm like, oh my god, a t-shirt!
02:48Are you serious right now?
02:50You're going to just give me a t-shirt?
02:52Holy crap!
02:53And you kick a baby out of the way and you punch an old lady in the face.
02:57Give me a t-shirt!
02:58Come on, right here!
02:58I see him.
02:59Right here!
03:00Yeah, I see him.
03:01We see him all the time, though, at events for the radio station.
03:05Those people exist.
03:06T-shirt cannon guy exists.
03:08It all depends what's in the cannon.
03:10You might let a gay man stroke my shoulders for, like, a free video game or something once
03:19a month.
03:21Yes, you would.
03:22You're a cheap bastard.
03:23I probably would.
03:24Yes, you would.
03:24I probably would.
03:26Let a gay man stroke your shoulders like that's going to get him off?
03:31That's all I'm letting him do.
03:34Do you disrobe a little bit?
03:35No.
03:36No, no disrobe.
03:36No sleeves?
03:37Sleeveless or sleeves?
03:39Full sleeves.
03:40Okay.
03:40And now you're going to show him a little collarbone?
03:42Adrian is a gay hairstylist.
03:44He's joining us on the Rifflines.
03:45Hi, Adrian.
03:46Hey, what's up?
03:47We're doing pretty good.
03:48So what's your take on this?
03:50It absolutely cracks me up.
03:54First of all, gay, straight, guy, pie, whatever.
03:58It doesn't make any difference.
03:59If you're doing something for free, you've got to be getting something in return.
04:03And my haircuts, by the way, are $21 for a men's haircut.
04:06Okay.
04:07So if I'm giving that away as part of my pay, then obviously I'm looking for something.
04:12So one of these two idiots needs to give it up.
04:15Because if it's a gay guy and he has to offer a haircut every two weeks in order to get this dude in bed, knock it off.
04:24Leave him alone.
04:25He ain't worth your time.
04:26Yeah, but you get to touch my shoulders.
04:30Okay, your shoulders may be really lovely, but I want a lot more than that.
04:34I'm giving you a free haircut every two weeks.
04:38And if it's this dude who's going in getting the haircut, I think he's just feeling a little bit of pleasure of having some gay guy fondle over his shoulders and his head and his long shampoo, massage, whatever.
04:52Yeah, it might be nice to just be wanted for this guy.
04:56You don't know.
04:56Like, you don't know what this guy's story is.
04:59Adrian, the gay hairstylist, thanks for calling in.
05:02Thanks.
05:03All right.
05:03Take care.
05:04From the source.
05:05He's not getting that set up.
05:07Well, that's what I think.
05:08I think he makes perfect sense.
05:10Yeah.
05:10Something ain't right.
05:12I understand it's your play at the beginning, because I think a guy would do this if you did some kind of service.
05:20Like, if you were, like, a lawn guy and you saw a hot chick, you're like, hey, I'll do your whole yard.
05:26You don't have to worry about it.
05:27I'll do it.
05:27I mean, but that's the play to get in there, right?
05:29That's the opening.
05:31You know, but if nothing is happening, you're like, all right, well, I'm done.
05:34You know?
05:35Yeah.
05:35I mean, you got to, you know.
05:38Let me touch your shoulders.
05:39Would Chuck allow a gay guy to rub his shoulders for a blizzard?
05:43You're damn right I went right now.
05:46You're damn right I went.
05:48Dude, those are your only shoulders.
05:49Your shoulders are a temple.
05:51They're a temple, and they can rub them down.