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  • 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00This is like the Marvel intro, cool.
00:10Yeah you'd be hard pressed to find someone who enjoys Assassin's Creed games less than
00:14me, but I always approach them with an open mind hoping that this will finally be the
00:18one that I like again.
00:20We'll see.
00:22Positive reviews, we'll see how it goes.
00:30That was nice, I didn't even have to touch my controller.
00:32Automatically moved him.
00:35Cool.
00:36Father Balognano has come to request free movement for his priests in your lands.
00:43That is correct, Sir Ranmaru.
00:45You will address Lord Nobunaga?
00:47Of course, of course.
00:49Forgive me, Lord Nobunaga.
00:51Please, accept this gift.
00:55A European chair, made by the finest artisans in the world.
00:59Lame gift!
01:00Give me something cool!
01:02We should be presenting cool gifts, like a Nintendo Switch.
01:07You ask?
01:08If only he understood.
01:11He is all the people of Kyoto speak about since his arrival.
01:18Oh.
01:23I'll play it cool, I'll be mysterious.
01:28Diogo has been a loyal sword-bearer for me.
01:32He has freed me to focus on...
01:33Do choices matter in this game?
01:34I doubt it, right?
01:35It's fucking Ubisoft.
01:36Yeah, I'll start aura farming.
01:40That is what we call him.
01:43While Iga calls its unifier a tyrant.
01:48Man my armor is absolutely clappin' Oda's right now.
01:53Man's out here in bathrobes, meanwhile I've got the whole kit and caboodle on me.
01:58No.
02:00Alright.
02:02You've got him!
02:06Use your sword, friend!
02:11Oh my god, they need better training!
02:14This dude just lit himself on fire.
02:17The other guy forgot how to fight.
02:23Nice.
02:32Oh man, I am eating him alive.
02:35Into the fire!
02:36Oh, he freed himself.
02:42Who's shooting?
02:46Is it you?
02:48Someone was just shooting at me from behind that entire fight.
03:03He dies, I bet.
03:04Calling it.
03:05He's dead.
03:06The second he said he'd meet us there.
03:10His fate was sealed.
03:18He doesn't see me?
03:21He did see me.
03:22Damn!
03:23He's good.
03:28He's tanky.
03:31There we go.
03:32One down!
03:33You're next, buster!
03:34Oh man, I've got him stunlocked.
03:40Oh shit!
03:41I almost got one tapped.
03:48Take that!
03:49Alright.
03:50Oh, I still can't go in there.
03:58Did I do all that for nothing?
04:02I don't know why I thought they'd open the gate.
04:06She killed our two strongest men!
04:08Quick, let her in!
04:09She earned it!
04:14Iconic Assassin's Creed!
04:16I feel like if you'd have just dropped on the floor, it would have been fine.
04:27That's big.
04:29I see you, coward!
04:32Hi-ya!
04:33What?
04:34Excellent dodge.
04:36That guy's good.
04:37Alright, he's good.
04:39You don't- does he not see me?
04:41He does.
04:42Hi-ya!
04:43Must have been the wind.
04:49Check this play out.
04:51Watch this.
04:52Oh god, wait, the aim assist's fucking me.
04:56Hi-ya!
04:57Hi-ya!
04:58That was so clean.
05:04Oh, he cut his fucking ear off.
05:15Excellent work.
05:18Oh yeah, R.I.P.
05:25Oh no!
05:26Oh, that was going to be a lot more heroic than that.
05:54Wait, maybe he doesn't die.
06:12That is the most classic cliche ever.
06:18Also, if you're the leader of this group, why are you going to let one of your subordinates
06:27command everyone?
06:28No, let him suffer!
06:29No, fuck you, buddy!
06:30I'm in charge!
06:31Oh no.
06:32My least favorite thing in the entire series, just following, listening.
06:44Ugh.
06:45Hated.
06:46I appreciate the auto-follow, though.
06:47They know it's boring.
06:48But then my counterpoint would be, why not do it a different way?
06:49Well, that was easy.
06:50Oh no!
06:51Oh no!
06:52Oh no!
06:53Oh no!
06:54Oh no!
06:55Oh no!
06:56Oh no!
06:57Oh no!
06:58Oh no!
06:59Oh no!
07:00Oh no!
07:01Oh no!
07:02Oh no!
07:03Oh no!
07:04Oh no!
07:05Oh no!
07:06Oh no!
07:07Oh no!
07:08Oh no!
07:09Oh no!
07:10Oh no!
07:11Oh no!
07:12Oh no!
07:13Oh no!
07:14Oh no!
07:15Oh no!
07:16Ah!
07:17I am getting a mallet!
07:20Auntie Matzoh comes back with that fucking blunderbuss.
07:32You come to stab me, kid?
07:33Is that what it is?
07:37Nurse me back to health so you can kill me at full strength?
07:39I know your plan.
07:40You know how my hands shake in the cold.
07:43I like the music.
07:44I fuck with that.
07:47Like that scene where the dad gets clapped.
07:50That whole scene like with the music complimenting it was pretty cool.
07:54Now they have like a music video training montage.
07:55That's cool I guess.
07:56But man this shit is so slow holy.
08:00It's been an hour and a half and I think I've had maybe ten minutes of gameplay.
08:06Leave them alone!
08:07Wait, let me off.
08:08Time to stealth.
08:09Gotcha!
08:10No!
08:11Fuck, one saw me.
08:12No!
08:13No, my stealth has been ruined.
08:14Oh, I thought he was going for it.
08:15What?
08:16What?
08:17What?
08:18What?
08:19What?
08:20What?
08:21What?
08:22What?
08:23What?
08:24What?
08:25What?
08:26What?
08:27What?
08:28What?
08:29What?
08:30What?
08:31What?
08:32What?
08:33What?
08:34What?
08:36What?
08:37Last one.
08:38Alright everyone's safe.
08:41Who, who was here that I was saving by the way?
08:52I'm here again.
08:53I don't feel like killing everyone.
08:56That just seems like a waste of time.
08:57I'm just gonna sneak to the loot.
09:00do you see me
09:10bye-bye you've got him
09:18you insult you what do you say well even the guy who's getting harassed is now
09:32walked up crossed his arms and sized me up I don't know if he wants my help
09:37oh shit damn it they saw she went that way no I'll lose them in the grass I
09:54seem to find some taller grass no wait they can chop the grass just like that I
10:08vanish
10:10gotcha yes the master of stealth strikes again so cool you're free buddy you're
10:36really gonna walk away without saying thank you all of that huh all right tough
10:41guy see if I save you again
10:46oh it's a four-hit combo my first boss fight
10:52I'm not running take this oh god okay I see so every single one of these is gonna be a
11:13flashback huh a flashback mission so it's gonna be a rhythm game in the flashback mission
11:18I think for this bandit's in the shrine what are you doing here get the fuck out
11:36now run get out of here huh you're not welcome here I need to go collect shit
11:41from under the floor yeah get out of here be gone okay every single one of them forgot how
11:49to use their arms I did see a knowledge point thing over here piss in the street you're dead
12:02now oh these are level six what oh I just got one tapped when I missed that I won't let the
12:15public pisser get away with it I will bring order to this town okay there's one only 15 HP or XP for
12:27that huh wow this guy takes no damage I'm just wasting my time he actually takes no damage holy
12:35shit not worth but I'm gonna do it anyway here comes a 45 minute fight okay lock myself
12:57down for too long is that a data fragment for the battle pass holy shit wait a minute wait a
13:04minute it's a oh no it's a key no wait but it's a key for the battle pass yes my battle pass how
13:17many keys do I need oh god it was only 30 out of the thousand I need oh shit a 3% chance to
13:28instantly kill with posture attacks does that work on bosses that sounds great vanish after two
13:34seconds while crouched or prone oh my god that sounds so good it's so stupid what the fuck fool
13:47how did that happen well must be the wind can the enemies not climb like in general
14:00I'm starting to think they just actually can't reach me like even if they knew I was here look
14:11at me look at me look at me up here I really got this guy fucked up take this expertly done
14:25it's just that easy and I got some pine bush can you please get off this tree I'm begging get off
14:36this tree thank you oh my god please I just want to leave this tree help fuck let me off let me
14:46out don't worry the master of stealth is what someone here I have a plan follow me
15:06outsmarted even got the executioner coming right to me gotcha and now I'm gone you'll never find
15:20me now he said you will not get me off this rock take that executioner down yeah that'll fucking
15:47teach him and I got a new hat I think the games is boring I am NOT an Assassin's Creed fan haven't
15:56been in over a decade I like that it's not the exact same combat as the previous games but it
16:03still doesn't feel all that new this feels like sword combat from like maybe ten years ago like
16:12it's serviceable granted I'm still what three and a half hours in so it's still early but it's
16:19just I don't know it's not fun and they're the cutscenes there's so many which I usually don't
16:25mind but I am NOT really invested in the story so I'm not really not loving it it's better than
16:34Mirage it's better than Valhalla I fucking fell asleep on stream volume playing Valhalla Mirage
16:40just super sucked but it's I still just think it's so boring would not want me if he knew I'd
16:48lost the statue don't make me go get it she not have mercy don't make me go get it granted us
16:59access we'll just write it off he'll forgive you offered the way of the fight we don't have the
17:07I don't think I have the patience to take it back man I'm be honest with you Mitsumune I know I'm
17:17going to regret this it's gonna be another fucking side quest that's just a super snoozer
17:22main quest is right there I I'm doing it
17:28no we fight damn right we're all here might as well fuck them
17:43Oda Nobunaga has brought us to the edge of extinction
17:48Wada Koretake, friends, to push us over
17:59I like the plan, a full frontal
18:05watch this stealth kill
18:10please
18:13come on
18:15you'll never see it coming
18:18gotcha
18:22that's how we do it
18:23who's next
18:29got him with the razzle dazzle
18:32you'll never hit me
18:34I'm too swift
18:39but whatever I'm already here
18:43absolute baloney that that one hit me and you know it
18:49how did you even climb back up I haven't seen anyone else in this game climb is this guy just built different
18:58okay that's cringe
19:00oh my god stop locking on to everyone but this guy
19:10take this
19:13no fucking shot
19:18what a climactic conclusion to one of our first big bosses of the game
19:24I did that just as a joke thinking it would bounce off his armor and he'd give me a cool voice line
19:37that was pretty epic
19:39you left him to suffer to die in pain
19:45and every day since I have thought of only one thing
19:51making you suffer
19:54oh I did
19:56he suffered the ultimate shame of cringe
19:59I killed him with a spitball from the top turnbuckle
20:04he's dying in shame
20:09you give us blades you tell us to defend the temple with our lives
20:14then you sign peace treaties with demons
20:18abandon us to slaughter
20:20and right when I am on the edge of despair
20:24you send her
20:27what do you mean fuck me what I do
20:30these men don't deserve to live
20:35I don't care you can kill him I don't give a shit
20:37this will impact I don't care
20:40what do it man I'm not your dad you do what you want
20:44Mitsumine is right
20:46anyone fighting for Danobunaga deserves death
20:49you are fools
20:51I fought to keep Mitsumine safe
20:54but he is beyond saving
20:57you all are
21:00yeah how many people did you kill don't act like you're better than us
21:07you said you were ready for blood
21:12the veins of my people opened for you
21:16I hope it was worth it
21:19you seem pretty what man
21:22you wanted blood just as much as I did more than me
21:25I didn't kill that unarmed surrendering guy
21:27what the fuck why are you lecturing me
21:29how did you feel
21:31man I should have just said no
21:33eat my dick how about that
21:34new weapon
21:39oh sorry
21:41I didn't mean I didn't fucking mean to man calm down
21:44what are you freaking out whatever I'll kill you
21:49we just had a huge victory and now you want to act like a real bitch
21:52just because I accidentally hit somebody
22:02there
22:04holy shit
22:08this guy had 862 man
22:11what
22:13that's more than I got from every single mission I've done so far
22:16I just beat a stranger to death and he had so much shit in him he was a loot box
22:20I can finally afford one of the fast travel spots
22:24wow that's the strat right there just kill unarmed rich dudes
22:29or not unarmed he's far from unarmed
22:31just kill random rich dudes in the towns here
22:32that is the strat for sure
22:41the weekly quests
22:45for the
22:47Jesus battle pass
22:52okay we can just do purge we can do two corrupted entities
22:59and then I can get the
23:00invisibility cloak from Harry Potter or whatever
23:05oh my god it's 4300 meters I'm going to bed
23:09I'm not doing that
23:11I'm calling it a night