TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Family, Music | Episode aired 31 March 1965
After Patty breaks a date with Richard, Cathy and Richard begin dating. This leads to some tension between the cousins, all the while Richard lets his newfound desirability go to his head.
Director: Howard Morris
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
After Patty breaks a date with Richard, Cathy and Richard begin dating. This leads to some tension between the cousins, all the while Richard lets his newfound desirability go to his head.
Director: Howard Morris
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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03:11And furthermore, Patty Lane,
03:13your conduct and behavior last night
03:15was rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate, and crummy.
03:19Hello, Richard.
03:21Oh, uh, hi, Kathy. Sit down.
03:25Who were you talking to?
03:27I was just rehearsing what I'm gonna say
03:29to a certain fickle cousin of yours,
03:31if she ever shows up.
03:34She's already 40 minutes late.
03:36Oh, dear.
03:38Did you see the way she carried on with that gigolo?
03:41It didn't mean anything, Richard.
03:45Richard, don't be angry at Patty.
03:47You know how much she loves to dance,
03:49and that boy was such a good dancer.
03:52Somebody should answer that.
03:55Excuse me.
04:00Hello, Shake Shop.
04:01Oh, hello, Shake Shop.
04:02Do you happen to know if a boy named Richard Harrison...
04:04Yes, I do, Patty Lane, and he's here waiting for you.
04:07Oh, hi, Kathy.
04:08Where are you?
04:10At the Carlos Palomar Dance Studio.
04:12At the what?
04:14It's a place where they teach ballroom dancing.
04:16Rudy's father owns it.
04:18Who is Rudy?
04:19That groovy boy at the Shake Shop last night.
04:21Kathy, he's teaching me the Oompa-Doompa.
04:23Oompa-Doompa? What is that?
04:25What's the ultimate?
04:26Rudy says it's sweeping the jet set.
04:29And what about Richard?
04:31Well, that's why I called to tell him I can't meet him.
04:33Patty, you can't do that.
04:35I know it's awful, Kathy, but how can I pass up this chance to learn the Oompa-Doompa?
04:39Is that what you want me to tell Richard?
04:41No.
04:42No, tell him...
04:44Tell him I came down with a bug or something.
04:46Patty.
04:47Thanks a million, Kathy. Bye.
04:49Patty, don't...
04:51Stop.
05:03What's the matter, Richard?
05:05She isn't feeling well.
05:07Well, uh, what's the matter with her?
05:10She, uh, she's come down with a bug.
05:15Gosh.
05:17I better get over there and keep her company.
05:19No.
05:20She was, uh, just about to go to bed.
05:25Poor kid.
05:27I thought she was throwing me a twist.
05:32I'm sorry your evening is ruined.
05:34I was going to take her to see the Charlie Chapman revival.
05:37After she apologized.
05:39All that time the poor kid was sick.
05:43Very.
05:45Do you like Chapman?
05:47Oh, yes, very much.
05:48Well, why don't I take you?
05:50Me?
05:51Well, it's better than nobody.
05:53I mean, uh, I'd like you to come.
05:57I'd love to see it, Richard.
06:02All right.
06:04But we'll go Dutch.
06:05Dutch? I mean, it's like we didn't have a date.
06:08Exactly.
06:09Good. You pay your check and let's get out of here.
06:24Thank you, Richard. I had a lovely evening.
06:27Oh, I had a great time.
06:30You know something, Kath? You're fun.
06:33Thank you, Richard.
06:35Somebody just came in.
06:37It's probably Uncle Martin.
06:39Richard, you can go out the back door if you like.
06:41Hi! Who's in the kitchen?
06:43It's Patty.
06:45I thought...
06:46I'll start.
06:51Hi, Rich.
06:53Patty, why aren't you in bed?
06:55Bed? What for?
06:56Getting over that bug.
06:58Oh, yeah, the bug.
07:00I was in bed, but I couldn't sleep,
07:03and so I thought I'd get some fresh air.
07:05It's all so hot in here.
07:07That depends upon where you're standing.
07:09Carlos Palmar Dance Studios.
07:12Where'd you get that?
07:14A man was handing him out on the corner.
07:16I didn't see any man.
07:19Patty, where were you?
07:21I was in bed,
07:23and then I got this emergency call from the USO.
07:27USO?
07:28Yeah. See, they said they needed some girls
07:30to go down and learn the latest dance steps
07:32so they could teach them to the soldiers
07:33before they sent them overseas.
07:35I don't believe it either.
07:38I want the truth, Patty.
07:40Did that sneaky cat you were dancing with last night
07:42take you to this dance studio?
07:44Yeah. His father owns it.
07:49Patty, you lied to me.
07:52Yeah.
07:54I guess you could call it that.
07:56Pretending to be sick?
07:58Getting me all upset?
08:02So upset you went to see Charlie Chaplin.
08:06I knew you wouldn't want me home worrying.
08:09No, no, of course not.
08:11I'm glad you had such a delightful evening.
08:13Patty, it wasn't Richard's fault that you broke the date.
08:16I'll say the least you can do is apologize for what you did.
08:19Oh, sure, I'm sorry.
08:20You're not.
08:21Yes, I am.
08:22You don't sound sorry.
08:23Okay, then I'm not sorry.
08:25Patty, Richard, stop this, please.
08:27No, Kath, it's too late.
08:29I get the whole picture.
08:30As far as Patty's concerned,
08:32I'm just a doormat, a football to be kicked around.
08:35Well, I've had it. I am through.
08:40All I have to say to you is one word, goodbye.
08:43Goodbye, Richard.
08:45I only wish I'd given you my fraternity pin
08:48so I could tell you to give it back.
08:58Patty, how could you do that?
09:01He'll get over it. He always does.
09:03That's not the point.
09:05No, that isn't the point.
09:07I'm being rotten and wicked,
09:08and Richard is a sweet, lovable little mouse.
09:11Could a mouse like Richard teach me to do this?
09:27Girls, would you mind doing the dishes and tidying?
09:29I'm late for the hairdresser.
09:30Can do. Bye, Mom.
09:31Thanks. See you at dinner.
09:33Goodbye, Natalie.
09:34Bye, Mom.
09:35Okay, Roz, on the ball. K.P. time.
09:37You know, I read an article in the newspaper.
09:39It said that when a man does women's work,
09:41subconsciously, she resents it.
09:43Well, maybe we do, subconsciously.
09:45But unless you want a kick in the pants,
09:47consciously...
09:48I'll get it.
09:50...anything to beat the rat.
09:53Hello? Oh, hi, Richard.
09:56I told you you'd come crawling back.
09:59You want to speak to Kathy?
10:01Just a second.
10:03Kathy, it's for you. It's Richard.
10:05Are you sure?
10:06That's what he said.
10:08Patty, you talk to him.
10:10What for? He asked for you.
10:19What's with you and Richard?
10:21I broke a table and he walked out on me.
10:24He's smarter than I thought.
10:30Well, that's very sweet of you, Richard,
10:32but I'm afraid I can't.
10:35No, no, not tomorrow night
10:37or any other night.
10:41Richard, why don't you come by tonight
10:44and have a talk with Patty?
10:49All right, if that's the way you feel about it.
10:52But no thank you.
10:55Goodbye, Richard.
11:03Patty, Richard asked me for a date.
11:06Oh? What'd you say?
11:09I said no, of course.
11:12I don't see why. He's available.
11:15Not really. He happens to be yours.
11:18Not after last night, so why not date him?
11:21You want me to go out with Richard?
11:24Why should I mind?
11:26I expect to be seeing a lot of Rudy.
11:29What if Richard became interested in me?
11:32That's not very likely.
11:35Oh, it isn't?
11:37Look, Kat, you said it yourself.
11:40Richard belongs to me whenever I decide I want him back.
11:43And meanwhile, poor Kathy should live it up while she can.
11:47Well, it's not as if you had scads of boys after you.
11:52Excuse me, I have a telephone call to make.
11:56Excuse me, I have a telephone call to make.
12:11Hello, Richard? It's Kathy.
12:14I've changed my mind. I'd love to go bowling with you tonight.
12:17I'll see you at 8 o'clock. Goodbye.
12:25That a girl, Kathy, you sure.
12:28Fiend, were you eavesdropping in the hall?
12:31Certainly not. Who do you think I am?
12:34I was hiding in the closet.
12:44You see, it's all in the wrist and keeping your eye on the pins.
12:48I'll try to remember that.
12:50Plus, natural coordination. Either you have it or you don't.
12:53And you have it, Richard. Anyone can see that.
12:55Yeah, I guess I do.
12:59I see something funny?
13:01Oh, I was just thinking about how I forgot to let go of the bowling ball.
13:04Oh, yeah, that was a riot.
13:08Hello, Patty. Hi, Kath. Hi, Richard.
13:13How was your evening?
13:14Terrific.
13:15Richard's teaching me how to bowl.
13:17She's quite a little pupil.
13:19I'll bet she is.
13:23Would you like to sit down, Patty?
13:25No, thanks, Kath. I was just about to make a phone call.
13:45Carlos Palomar Dance Studio. Good evening.
13:47Carlos Palomar, radio service.
13:49Hi. Can I talk to Rudy, please?
13:51Oh, I'm sorry. Rudy's giving a lesson.
13:53Oh. Oh, would you tell him Patty Lane called?
13:56Sure. You want to leave your number?
13:58No, Rudy has it.
13:59You're telling me.
14:01My boy Rudy's got more girls' numbers.
14:05Oh, really?
14:06You're that cute blonde he's been dating, no?
14:10No, I'm not.
14:12And never mind the message, okay?
14:14Okay. Goodbye.
14:22He was never that funny when I dated him.
14:42Hey, where'd you dig that?
14:44Old boy taught it to me.
14:46Would you like to learn how it goes?
14:48Some other time, Patty. I'm with Edna.
14:50Oh. Hi, Edna.
14:56Don't they make a lovely couple?
14:59Charming.
15:02Oh, I'm sure you don't mind.
15:04It's all in the family.
15:07Exactly.
15:09Oh, and any time you want Richard back,
15:11all you have to do is lift a finger.
15:15That one.
15:16Yes.
15:17Oh, Richard's yours.
15:19Anybody can tell just by looking at him.
15:29Say, what's keeping Patty and Kathy?
15:31They said they were ready 20 minutes ago.
15:33Oh, they should be down in a minute.
15:35If you want to lift to school, you better hurry.
15:39Well, at least you're ready.
15:41What are those girls doing?
15:42Patty's fixing her hair again, and Kathy's changing her dress again.
15:45Oh, that fuss just for school?
15:47Not exactly. They're in Trianglesville.
15:49Where are they in English?
15:51Patty and Kathy are after the same boy.
15:53A new boy?
15:54An old boy. Richard.
15:56Patty's Richard?
15:57Correction. Patty's ex.
15:59Hey, and now he's making a scene with Kathy.
16:01So Patty's bugged.
16:03It's amazing.
16:04All this primping and plotting just for Richard Harrison.
16:07Yeah. Ain't love peculiar?
16:09Spooky man.
16:11I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, Uncle Martin. I'm ready.
16:18So am I.
16:26Hey, that's a cuckoo sweater.
16:28Kathy knitted it for me.
16:30I like the tie, too.
16:31Gift from Patty.
16:32Boy, what a setup. They're both like your slave.
16:35Personal magnetism.
16:37Either you've got it, or you don't.
16:41Say, did you see what ankle did?
16:44Lola.
16:45She's the greatest.
16:47Maybe I'll give her a whirl.
16:49Relax, Richard. You've got a girl.
16:51Two of them.
16:52Right, but why not try for three?
16:56Lola.
16:57Richard, Lola's out of your league.
16:59She dates college men.
17:01Shall we say she used to?
17:16He's like irresistible.
17:19Hello, Richard.
17:20Oh, hi, Kathy.
17:22I see you're wearing my sweater.
17:24Yes, it sure is warm.
17:26See you around, Kat.
17:32Hi, Rich.
17:33Hi, Patty.
17:34I was hoping you'd be here.
17:36I was just leaving.
17:38Oh.
17:39Take it easy.
17:45Come on.
17:56He hasn't even talked to me in a week.
17:58Me either.
18:01Did you see them in the lunchroom today?
18:03No.
18:06He was waiting on her hand and foot.
18:08In your tie and my sweater.
18:11I don't get it.
18:12How did that mouse find enough nerd to date a campus queen like Lola?
18:18It was our fault, Patty.
18:21Our fault?
18:23We built him up too much.
18:25We created a romantic image and he believed it.
18:28Yeah.
18:29We made him feel secure.
18:31That's fatal in a man.
18:34I'm sorry I tried to take him away from you, Patty.
18:37It wasn't your fault, Kathy.
18:40Practically threw him at you.
18:42And look where he landed.
18:44Right in Lola's lap.
18:48Do you mind very much losing Richard?
18:50Mm-hmm.
18:52Now that he's a snake, he's kind of irresistible.
18:56I know what you mean.
19:00Don't worry, Kathy. I'll get over him.
19:02Oh, I suppose so.
19:03In time.
19:05You know what the psychologists say?
19:07If you want to get something out of your system,
19:10you should express yourself.
19:12What do you mean?
19:15The quickest way for you to get over Richard
19:17is to tell him what an absolute heel you think he is
19:19and that you never want to see him again.
19:22Oh, I couldn't do that.
19:23You've got to, Kathy. It's the only way.
19:25Blast his ears off.
19:27I just couldn't do it, Patty.
19:29But why don't you?
19:30I'd love to.
19:33But I'm afraid that deep inside I've still got it for him.
19:39Well, I guess I'll wash my hair and call it a night.
19:42Me too.
19:44But you go first.
19:46Thanks, Kathy.
19:52Well, at least we're back on the beam, huh?
19:57Right.
20:03I'm sorry.
20:10Shame on you, you cut-rate Casanova.
20:13If Patty had any sense at all,
20:15she'd take her own advice and tell you off.
20:24As a matter of fact,
20:27that's exactly what she's going to do.
20:30Oh, I wish Kathy were really tough enough to blast him.
20:43As a matter of fact, that's exactly what she's going to do.
20:48Oh, dear.
20:53You listen to me, Richard.
21:01Hi, Lou.
21:02Hi, Patty.
21:03Have you seen Rich around?
21:04Yeah, he's over there waiting for a...
21:06He's over there.
21:08Thanks.
21:11Rich, I want a word with you.
21:13Sure, Patty, sit down.
21:14No, thank you.
21:15I just want you to know that you're a two-timing,
21:17fat-headed, girl-crazy heel,
21:18and you're never, never, never talking to me again.
21:20Do you understand?
21:21Okay, Patty, I get the point.
21:24What's more, I want my tie back.
21:26What's more, I want my tie back.
21:30Never mind.
21:36Wow, she was like a hurricane.
21:40Richard, I want a word with you.
21:45Richard, I want a word with you.
21:48Fortunes of war, dear boy.
21:50A man of the world must expect these, um, incidents.
21:53You can say that again.
21:55And you better say it fast.
21:59Excuse me.
22:01Richard, I want a word with you.
22:02Sure, Patty.
22:03You've behaved abominably, and I'm sorry I ever set eyes on you,
22:05and I never want to see you again. Do you hear?
22:07Okay, you're getting through.
22:09And what's more, get back that sweater.
22:17Wow, wow, wow, it ain't all jam being irresistible.
22:21You know the saying,
22:23you can't make omelets without breaking the eggs.
22:26You're cool.
22:27Why not?
22:28After all, I, uh, still have Lola.
22:31Wanna bet?
22:34Oh, uh, hi, Lola.
22:36I've been waiting for you over an hour.
22:38Blake off, Junior.
22:40The first team's back in town.
22:43Oh!
22:51Last chance, girls.
22:52Do you want to come to the movies with us?
22:54Can't, Mom. Patty's globbering me.
22:56Have fun.
22:58I'll tell you who did it.
22:59Good night.
23:01Well, hello, Richard.
23:03Hi, Mr. Lane.
23:04Are the girls home?
23:06They're in the living room.
23:07See you later, Richard.
23:09I doubt it.
23:13Like high.
23:15It's your move, Patty.
23:18I just came by to apologize
23:20for behaving like such a cut-rate Casanova.
23:23I suppose it'll be years and years
23:25before you even want to talk to me again.
23:28I can't blame you.
23:30I just want to say I'm sorry.
23:43Your move, Patty.
23:47No, Patty.
23:48It's your move.
23:51Good night, Richard.
23:53Good night, Kathy.
23:56Well, um...
23:59What happens now?
24:01I don't know.
24:03I don't know.
24:05I don't know.
24:07I don't know.
24:09I don't know.
24:11What happens now?
24:19Why don't we start all over again, huh?
24:21Hey, that's a great idea.
24:23Hey, Rich, there's a big dance Saturday night
24:25and I thought you and I could...
24:27Maybe you better take some lessons in the Oopa-Doopa.
24:31Hey, I could get you a discount
24:33at Carlos Palomar's dance studio.
24:35Rich, by the time they get through with you,
24:37you won't know it's you.
24:38You'll be beautiful.
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