TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 13 January 1965
Patty and Cathy's cousin Betsy comes to stay with the Lanes on her vacation from boarding school. After a while, Patty begins to believe that Betsy is trying to come between her and Cathy.
Director: Don Weis
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Patty and Cathy's cousin Betsy comes to stay with the Lanes on her vacation from boarding school. After a while, Patty begins to believe that Betsy is trying to come between her and Cathy.
Director: Don Weis
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Ross, for Pete's sakes, must you?
00:13Must I what, sis?
00:14Make noise like a hungry hippopotamus.
00:16Yep.
00:17Morning, everybody.
00:18Hi, Popo.
00:19Hi.
00:20For you, dear, airmail special.
00:21Hey, it's from Cousin Gaylord.
00:24Cousin Gaylord?
00:25Yeah, he's a fairly distant cousin, Kath.
00:28He's from one of the Atlanta lanes.
00:31He says, howdy, Cousin Martin.
00:33We're all as fine as wine.
00:35Hope you all are the same.
00:37Me and Sissy are busy...
00:39That's Cousin Gaylord's wife.
00:41Me and Sissy are busy on boll weevils at the store,
00:44but glory be, things are booming.
00:46Well, isn't that nice?
00:48Which brings me to the reason for writing.
00:50Our little gal Betsy is coming home from boarding school on vacation,
00:53and her mommy and me are just too darn rushed at the store to look after her proper.
00:57So I was hoping you could put her up for a couple of weeks.
01:00Well, of course. We'd love to have her.
01:02Oh, Natalie, you have enough to handle around here as it is.
01:05Oh, I don't mind the extra work. It's only for a couple of weeks.
01:08Oh, this is a big house, Nat, and you have practically no help.
01:11So much as I'd like to have Cousin Betsy come,
01:13I'm afraid I'm going to have to say thank you, but no thank you.
01:18I'll get it.
01:27Ah.
01:31Ah.
01:35Oh.
01:37Uh, may I help you?
01:39You must be Cousin Patty.
01:42Cousin Patty?
01:43Uh-huh.
01:45I'm Daddy Gaylord's little gal, Betsy.
01:52Ah.
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02:59Ah.
03:18She's sweet.
03:19That's Sarah Jane.
03:21Hey.
03:22Now there's a doll.
03:23Wow, that's Cousin Culpepper.
03:30I date him, too.
03:36And that's another boy you date?
03:38Uh-huh, they all are.
03:41Come on now, Betsy, you're not going to tell us you go out with the whole football team.
03:45Of course not, Cousin Patty.
03:47Just the backfield.
03:51They're all back home. I don't know any boys here.
03:55Betsy, tell you what, tomorrow we'll go down to the shake shop so you can meet some of the fellas.
04:00Oh, please don't trouble yourself.
04:02Oh, it's no trouble at all.
04:05You're both so sweet, but honest.
04:08Back home, I'm happy just to sit and read a good book.
04:11When do you find the time?
04:20Oh, yeah.
04:25You see, Betsy, they do notice you.
04:28My? No, boys, you are friendly.
04:31Well, they want you to know there's no hard feelings about Fort Sumter.
04:36Oh, come on, there's Kathy.
04:39Excuse me.
04:40Huh?
04:41Beg your pardon.
04:42Excuse me.
04:45Hi, Kathy, we're here.
04:47We saved a place for you.
04:48George, say hello to Betsy Lane, our cousin from Atlanta.
04:51Betsy, this is George Tutwiler, a friend of mine.
04:53Pleased to meet you.
04:54How do you do?
05:00Did you say Tutwiler?
05:02That's right.
05:04Are you by any chance a kinfolk of Thomas Jefferson Tutwiler, the famous Confederate general?
05:10Gee, I don't know.
05:11My folks are mostly in the stationary business.
05:15I'll just bet you are.
05:17Down home, there's this big statue of General Tutwiler in the park,
05:21waving his saber and leading his troops into battle.
05:24You look just like him.
05:26No kidding.
05:27Uh-huh.
05:28What'll it be?
05:29That depends on how Kathy speaks for funds.
05:31No, this is my treat.
05:34Well, thank you kindly, Mr. Tutwiler.
05:38Call me George.
05:39George.
05:42I'll have a chocolate sundae with sprinkles.
05:44What about you, Betsy?
05:46Oh, I'll just have a little root beer.
05:48One root beer.
05:49Oh, make it a small one here.
05:51When I meet somebody fascinating, I just get too excited to eat.
05:55No kidding.
05:58I hope we're not interrupting anything, Kathy.
06:01No.
06:02George was just going over a poem he's reading to the literary club.
06:06A poem?
06:08Really?
06:10I just adore poetry.
06:12No kidding.
06:13Uh-huh.
06:15George was reading some of Shakespeare's verse.
06:18Oh, I'd love to hear it, Mr. Tutwiler.
06:22Call me General.
06:24I mean George.
06:28George.
06:36Hello, Patty.
06:37Hi, Kat.
06:38What are you doing home?
06:39I thought you had a date with George Tutwiler.
06:41He called to say he couldn't make it.
06:43Oh.
06:44That's too bad.
06:46Have you seen Betsy?
06:47She's not in her room.
06:48No, she went to the movies with George Tutwiler.
06:53Why that sneaky little thing?
06:56No, she's not, Patty.
06:58She told me he asked her to go.
07:00Why didn't you tell her to lay off?
07:02Well, how could I after she'd accepted?
07:04She'd have been terribly embarrassed.
07:07Yeah, I suppose so.
07:10Well, goodbye Charlie to him, I say.
07:13Yes.
07:15He was very nice, though.
07:17Oh, forget it, Kat.
07:18If a guy is that fickle, I say P-H-I.
07:21P-H-I?
07:23Pack him in.
07:26You're taking my loss very well.
07:30I'm sorry, Kat.
07:33Hi, yo.
07:35Well, hi, Betsy.
07:37How come you're home so early?
07:39Because Mr. George Tutwiler is a total disaster.
07:42What happened?
07:44Our wagon train was attacked.
07:46You what?
07:48George took me to a cowboy movie.
07:51I've never been so bored in all my living days.
07:55I'm sorry it was such a dull evening.
07:58Oh, it wasn't all bad.
08:00At the popcorn stand, this real cute boy came up and introduced himself.
08:04Oh? What was his name?
08:06Robert.
08:08Or was it William?
08:10Don, I can't recall.
08:12Oh, well, chin up. It'll come back to you.
08:15And if it doesn't, he will.
08:18Yes, I do believe I'll be hearing from him.
08:21Oh, let's hope so.
08:23We wouldn't want you to get the impression that all northern boys are as pokey as old George.
08:27You know something?
08:29I'll just bet he was fibbing when he claimed to be kinfolk of General Thomas Jefferson Tutwiler.
08:38Come on, Kathy. Let's party.
08:41Too bad Betsy couldn't come tonight. The place is really familiar.
08:45Patty, Betsy is here. Look.
08:49Yep, that's our Betsy.
08:52I wonder who she's with.
08:54Perhaps that real cute boy whose name she couldn't remember.
08:58I don't know.
09:00I don't know.
09:02I don't know.
09:04I don't know.
09:06I don't remember.
09:11It's Richard.
09:13Why, that Confederate Cleopatra.
09:15Patty, you can't make a scene here.
09:17There she is, Richard. He's mine.
09:20Betsy doesn't know that.
09:22Obviously, Richard hasn't told her.
09:24Hmm, where do I get my hands on him?
09:26Why bother?
09:28I say goodbye Charlie to him.
09:31What?
09:32Well, if a man is that fickle, forget him.
09:34I say P-H-I.
09:37That cute boy I met took me to the pictures.
09:40Turns out his name's Richard Harrison.
09:43He don't say.
09:45Then maybe you'd like to have this for your collection.
09:51Why, it's Richard.
09:54Patty, you're the living end.
09:57Now Richard.
10:00Patty, I had no idea.
10:03No.
10:05I'm sure Richard was too busy to bring it up.
10:09What a wicked boy.
10:13I could sing, cry through the floor.
10:16Forget it.
10:17You can't help being irresistible.
10:20We'll make like it never happened.
10:23Patty, you're such a wonderful person.
10:26Yeah.
10:28I hope we don't run out of boys before you leave.
10:31Richard was right about one thing.
10:33You are the living end.
10:37Good night, Betsy.
10:39Good night.
10:54I just love being here with Patty, Sarah Jane.
10:58I wish I could stay on and on like Cousin Kathy.
11:04Don't see how I could, though, as long as Kathy's here.
11:10Sarah Jane,
11:13wouldn't it be nice if Kathy suddenly took a notion
11:16to go off and live with her daddy in Europe?
11:21Don't suppose she ever will, though.
11:25Not unless
11:28something happened to put that notion in her hands.
11:49Cousin Kathy, could you help me take up the ham of this dress?
11:53Oh, certainly.
11:54I was just finishing a letter to my father.
11:56Oh.
11:58Where's your daddy now?
12:00In Rome.
12:01Next week, India.
12:03My.
12:04I'll bet you miss him a lot.
12:06Terribly.
12:07That's why I write such long letters.
12:10Don't you ever get to see him?
12:12Oh, on his vacations.
12:14We have marvelous times.
12:16But then there's always the day when we have to say goodbye again.
12:19That must be just awful.
12:22Patty and Aunt Natalie and Uncle Martin and Ross make it a lot easier.
12:26My, they're real folks.
12:29They certainly do make a person feel welcome.
12:32Yes, they're pretty special.
12:34Indeed they are.
12:36I mean,
12:38no matter how long you live here,
12:41Cousin Kathy,
12:42I'll bet they'll never let you feel you're on the way.
12:46In the way?
12:48Oh, but you're not.
12:49You're family.
12:51Oh, and you and Patty get on so well.
12:54Yes, we do.
12:56My, that's wonderful.
12:58You know,
13:00I recall once when my mama invited her sister to come and live with us.
13:05After a while, Mama couldn't wait for Auntie to get up and go.
13:08Her own sister.
13:11Well,
13:13perhaps Patty and I are lucky that we're only first cousins.
13:19Shall we have a look at that dress?
13:21Yeah.
13:27Hi.
13:28Hi.
13:29Busy?
13:30Oh, just doing my geometry homework.
13:32Or trying to.
13:34Darn.
13:35Why wasn't I born with brains like Kathy?
13:38Aunt Natalie says she's just brilliant.
13:41Fantastic.
13:42IBM machines bring their problems to Kathy.
13:45Why, your mother just goes on and on about how wonderful Kathy is.
13:49Yeah.
13:51Oh, why don't you ask her to help you with that?
13:53Oh, not Kathy.
13:55She says it's good for my character to go it alone.
13:57Oh.
13:59My roommate at boarding school is smart like Kathy.
14:02Mary Lou.
14:03Knows everything.
14:04Yeah.
14:05That can be a drag to live with sometimes.
14:08You really mean that, Cousin Patty?
14:12Don't read a word of this to anybody.
14:14But as much as I adore and worship Kathy.
14:17Yes.
14:18Well, sometimes when she comes on like Albert Einstein.
14:22I won't say a word.
14:24But that's just how I feel about Mary Lou sometimes.
14:27Aren't we awful?
14:29Dreadful.
14:31You know something, Cousin Patty?
14:33I didn't realize we had so much in common.
14:37Well, better get along with that now.
14:53Hello, Patty.
14:54Hi, Kathy.
14:55What's the square root of 17?
14:57Figure it out.
14:59Thanks a lot.
15:00I haven't got time.
15:01Oh?
15:02What's your hurry?
15:03I'm taking Mary Lou to school.
15:05What's your hurry?
15:06I'm taking Betsy to that dance at the Y tonight.
15:09You want to come with us?
15:10No, thank you.
15:11I think I'll stay in and wash my hair.
15:14Well, as long as you're staying in.
15:16Would you copy out the last few equations for me?
15:20I will if you insist.
15:22But I really think you ought to do it yourself, Patty.
15:25Excuse me.
15:27I forgot what a high-minded character I live with.
15:30What?
15:32It's not as if I asked you to help me cheat on an exam or something.
15:37Patty, what's gotten into you?
15:41Nothing.
15:43It's just I hate this assignment so...
15:45All right.
15:46I'll finish it for you.
15:50No, I'll do it.
15:53Well, why don't you come with us, Kath?
15:55The place will be bulging with boys.
15:57Indeed.
15:58All baying after you and Betsy.
16:00Kathy, you can have any boy you want.
16:02You just don't try.
16:04You have to pour on a little flattery.
16:07I know.
16:09But when I do, I sound like such a ninny.
16:11Oh.
16:12Is that how I sound to you?
16:14Like a ninny?
16:15I didn't mean that.
16:17Well, you practically said so.
16:19I didn't.
16:21But you do think so.
16:25All right.
16:26If you want the truth, I suppose there are times when you do.
16:29Kathy!
16:30Oh, don't be upset.
16:32I'm sure there are times when you find me a long-haired drag.
16:36I never said that.
16:38Let's face it, Patty.
16:39We're really very different people.
16:41Yeah, well, we get along great.
16:43Don't you ever get tired of having me around all the time?
16:46Intruding.
16:48Intruding?
16:51Kathy, whatever put such an idea in your head?
16:56I don't know.
16:59Perhaps it was something that Betsy said the other day.
17:03What did she say?
17:04That I was lucky to be living with a family that never made me feel I was in the way.
17:09In the way?
17:10You?
17:14You know, the other night,
17:17little old cousin Betsy somehow got me to admit that,
17:23well, that I get edgy when you're being brilliant at school.
17:27And I found myself telling her that,
17:31that I resented your being so popular with boys.
17:34Kathy, do you think our cousin is up to something?
17:37I don't know.
17:39Sure sounds like she's trying to make trouble between us.
17:43But why on earth should she?
17:45I can't imagine.
17:47Something spooky is going on around here.
17:50Patty, Betsy is a very sweet girl.
17:53Oh, bless her.
17:55Butter would melt in her pretty little mouth.
17:57Let's not be unkind.
17:59No.
18:01I'll just have a little old root beer.
18:03Oh, make it a small one.
18:05Here.
18:06When I meet somebody fascinating, Mr. Tutwell, I just get too excited to eat.
18:11And then she went after Richard the chicken-minded.
18:14I'm going to find out what she's up to.
18:16How?
18:17By out sneaking her.
18:20Let's go.
18:51Good evening, Cousin Betsy.
18:53Good evening, Cousin Betsy.
19:06Good evening, Cousin Betsy.
19:08Well, hi, Kathy.
19:10Patty will be right in.
19:12Oh, thank you.
19:14Hello, Kathy.
19:16Hello, Kathy.
19:21Aren't you going to come with us, Kathy?
19:24No, I never have much fun at dances.
19:29I understand.
19:31It must get tiresome seeing Patty with all the boys.
19:34Oh, you think so?
19:37Yes, I'm afraid it does.
19:41It's a shame.
19:43I mean, you'd think Patty would make a little more effort to see that you had a good time, too.
19:52I'm sure she tries.
19:55Sometimes.
19:57I doubt it, Cousin Kathy.
20:01Has it ever occurred to you that...
20:06Well, that maybe Patty enjoys sashaying up with the boys while you sit off in the corner?
20:15Cousin Betsy.
20:17Oh, Betsy, here's that pin you wanted to borrow.
20:21Kathy.
20:29Patty, what have you been doing?
20:34Just having a little heart-to-heart with our cousin.
20:40Isn't that right, Betsy?
20:56I agree with you, Patty. It was shameful of Betsy.
20:59Yeah, but why would she do such a thing?
21:01Perhaps your father can tell us when he's through talking to her.
21:04I don't really care. I just want her to go home.
21:10Well, Papa?
21:12Well, I had a talk with Betsy, and then I called Cousin Gaylord, and he's coming to pick her up.
21:17Good riddance.
21:19Patty, you and Kathy have every reason to be furious with Betsy, but we should try to understand her a little.
21:26I do. She's a snake.
21:29No, she's just a very lonely girl.
21:32Lonely? Have you seen that collection of boys on her dresser?
21:36Well, maybe she has plenty of dates, but what she doesn't seem to have is a family.
21:41What about Gaylord and Sissy?
21:43Well, I gather that Gaylord and Sissy ship Betsy off to boarding school so that they can devote all their time to building up their business,
21:49and on her vacations, they fob her off on relatives like us.
21:53Okay, so she's lonely.
21:56But why did she try to start a feud around here?
21:59Because, honey, she had the wild hope that Kathy would decide she wasn't welcome here,
22:05and then Betsy could come and live with us instead.
22:13Boy, she must have been desperate.
22:15She must feel terrible about this.
22:19Okay, I'll go tell Kathy we don't hate Betsy anymore.
22:24I think somebody ought to have a talk with Cousin Gaylord.
22:27Somebody did. That's why he'll be here on the next plane.
22:39And next summer we want you to come and stay with us.
22:42Do you really mean that, Cousin Patty?
22:44Of course, and so do I.
22:48Betsy, look who's here.
22:50Daddy!
22:51Howdy, honey.
22:52I didn't know you were coming.
22:54I know you didn't, honey, but aren't you glad?
22:56Yes.
22:57Howdy, Cousin Natalie.
22:58Hello, Gaylord.
22:59Daddy, I'd like you to meet Cousin Patty.
23:02Hi.
23:03And Kathy and Ro.
23:04Howdy, y'all.
23:06Hey, they all talk like that.
23:08Betsy.
23:10Mama!
23:11Oh, honey, I'm so glad to see you.
23:14You came, too.
23:15Of course I did, honey.
23:17Howdy, everybody.
23:18Hello, Betsy.
23:19I'm just thrilled.
23:20But didn't they both have to come to fetch me home?
23:23We're not going home just yet, gal.
23:25Daddy booked us into a hotel here, honey, for a whole week.
23:29Right.
23:30Us country cousins gonna see the big town.
23:33Golly.
23:34Yes, sir.
23:36Me and your mommy got a heap of catching up to do.
23:39Daddy decided, honey.
23:41You're transferring to the high school back home
23:44so we can get acquainted with you.
23:49You hear that?
23:52But, Daddy, who's gonna take care of the store?
23:55Hang the store.
23:56I want to enjoy my pretty daughter's company
23:58before some smart young fella starts keeping it with her.
24:02Come along, gal.
24:04I'm mighty grateful to you folks.
24:06I'll drive you to the hotel.
24:08Thank you, Rose.
24:11Bye now.
24:13Thank you all for being so wonderful.
24:16I'll be seeing you.
24:19Thank you very much.
24:20Bye, y'all.
24:21Bye.
24:24You all come back.
24:26Yeah.
24:50Here's Kathy who's lived most everywhere
24:54From Zanzibar to Barclays Square
24:57But Patty's only seen the sights
24:59A girl can see from Brooklyn Heights
25:01What a crazy pair
25:03But they're cousins
25:06Identical cousins
25:08And you'll find
25:10They laugh alike
25:11They walk alike
25:12At times they even talk alike
25:14You can lose your mind
25:17When cousins
25:19Are two of a kind