TV-G | 30min | Comedy, Drama, Family, Music, TV Series | Episode aired 29 April 1964
After Patty is put in charge of the school prom she poses as Cathy in order to get Cathy's old school friend, who has become a pop star, to perform at the dance.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
After Patty is put in charge of the school prom she poses as Cathy in order to get Cathy's old school friend, who has become a pop star, to perform at the dance.
Director: Stanley Prager
Writers: Arnold Horwitt, Sidney Sheldon, William Asher
Stars: Patty Duke, William Schallert, Jean Byron
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00And in conclusion, Mr. President, and fellow members of the committee, I promise that if
00:10I'm appointed prom chairman, I will arrange the most brilliant affair in this school's
00:14history.
00:15Hear, hear.
00:17You mean how, how?
00:18The class will dance to the coolest band in town, feast on a dazzling array of delicious
00:25refreshments and enjoy all this in a setting decorated to look like a veritable fairyland.
00:30I thank you.
00:33Mr. President.
00:34Ms. Dwellin.
00:35Let's face it, no matter what Patty promises, the class knows that for their three dollars
00:41a couple, they'll get their choice of either the Flatbush Five or stale chopped egg sandwiches
00:48in the school gym.
00:49Now, wait a minute.
00:51Nevertheless, if I'm appointed chairman, I promise that everyone will positively be
00:56at the prom.
00:59Why should they?
01:01Because my father is president of a bank and he knows a lot of celebrities.
01:06I guarantee that one of them will appear as our guest.
01:09Patty, what have you got to say to that?
01:13Well, uh.
01:16I didn't hear you, Patty.
01:17She said, well, uh.
01:22I promise that if I'm appointed prom chairman, my father, Martin Lane, managing editor of
01:28the New York Chronicle, will guarantee that the guest celebrity will be the biggest single
01:31name in show business.
01:32Who's that?
01:33Who's that?
01:34Uh, I'm not at liberty to divulge that name right now.
01:43Because she's bluffing.
01:44All right.
01:45You both have until tomorrow at three when I name the prom chairman.
01:49See you then.
01:50Thanks, Walter.
01:51Coming?
01:52See you later.
01:56Know something, darling?
01:59I don't think you have anybody.
02:02You won't know until tomorrow afternoon, will you, darling?
02:09Boy, you sure told her off.
02:13I sure did.
02:14By the way, who'd you get for the prom?
02:17How am I supposed to know?
02:19Meet Kathy, who's lived most everywhere.
02:28From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
02:31But Patty's only seen the sights a girl can see from Brooklyn Heights.
02:35What a crazy pair.
02:37But they're cousins.
02:39Identical cousins all the way.
02:43One pair of matching bookends.
02:46Different as night and day.
02:49Where Kathy adores a minuet.
02:52The ballet Russe and Crepe Suzette.
02:55Our Patty loves to rock and roll.
02:57A hot dog makes her lose control.
02:59What a wild duet.
03:01Still they're cousins.
03:04Identical cousins and you'll find
03:08They laugh alike.
03:09They walk alike.
03:10At times they even talk alike.
03:12You can lose your mind
03:14When cousins are two of a kind.
03:23And so all I need from you is one teeny weeny little celebrity.
03:28Can't you see that, Poppa?
03:30Patty, I'm no Walter Winchell.
03:32I don't come in contact with what you call celebrities.
03:35But I promised you'd come up with one.
03:37Well, then you've learned a lesson.
03:39In the future, don't make promises on behalf of other people.
03:42Patty, why is it so important that you be chairman of the dance?
03:45Because I feel I can do a better job of it.
03:48If I run it, we're going to have a ball.
03:51If she runs it, we're going to have a bomb.
03:53Only if I don't get a name, I'll never be able to prove that to them.
03:56You could look through the newspaper and see what celebrities are in town and call them.
04:00That's a great idea.
04:02You see, she's always thinking.
04:04Thanks, cousin.
04:05I'll do it right now.
04:06Excuse me.
04:08Kathy, why do you waste your good ideas on her?
04:11I can turn them into money.
04:13I hope she gets the chairmanship.
04:15Well, if it depends on her coming up with a celebrity, I wouldn't count on it.
04:18Oh, don't underestimate Patty, Uncle Martin.
04:21You have no idea how resourceful she is.
04:23Yes, I have, and it terrifies me.
04:26Oh.
04:28No, no, he wouldn't recognize my name.
04:31Oh, then, would you please tell him that there's this high school prom and I...
04:36Hello?
04:38Hello?
04:40Hello?
04:42Snob.
04:45Bobby down.
04:46Bobby down.
05:04Oh, oh, oh.
05:07Have you called anyone yet?
05:09Yeah, you can forget Bobby Down.
05:11He's too short.
05:13Patty, I have to study.
05:14Patty, I have to study.
05:15Would you mind turning that off, please?
05:18What's the mop singing?
05:20The mop?
05:21What's that?
05:24Oh, look, Kathy.
05:25I know you're an opera lover, but everybody's heard of the mop.
05:28I'm afraid I haven't.
05:30What is it?
05:31Oh, look at him, Kathy.
05:32Isn't he the bidder?
05:34He looks like a sheepdog.
05:36Don't you dare call Bertram Bristol a sheepdog.
05:40Bertram Bristol?
05:42That's his name.
05:44Bertram Bristol.
05:46Patty, may I see that album, please?
05:51I don't believe it.
05:52You don't believe what?
05:55It can't be.
05:59But it is.
06:01What are you talking about?
06:03Pinky Bristol, a boy I used to know.
06:09You knew the mop?
06:12Mm-hmm.
06:14When I went to school in England, we were classmates.
06:17You and Bertram Bristol?
06:19Yes.
06:20He had quite a crush on me.
06:22He always used to want to carry my books home from school.
06:25Oh, Kathy.
06:27I remember one night,
06:29he stood outside and serenaded me with his guitar.
06:32What did you do?
06:34I'm afraid I let go with a pail of water.
06:36Even then, he couldn't sing.
06:38Kathy!
06:40Oh, Pinky didn't mind.
06:42Imagine.
06:44Now he's the latest fad.
06:46Bertram Bristol is no fad.
06:48Look, look at the paper.
06:49He just arrived in New York.
06:50Look at all the kids at his hotel.
06:53It's incredible.
06:56Oh, to be in England now that Pinky's here.
06:59Kathy, you are going to see him, aren't you?
07:02What for?
07:04To find out if he's still pining for you.
07:08Of course not.
07:14Kathy?
07:16I just got the most marvelous idea.
07:19You want me to phone Pinky at his hotel
07:22and ask him to come to the prom and sing a few songs.
07:24Right.
07:25Wrong.
07:26I won't do it.
07:27You have to.
07:28Patty, Pinky probably won't even remember me.
07:31And I'm sure he's far too busy.
07:33Look, Kathy.
07:35We're cousins, aren't we?
07:37And best friends.
07:38I'd do anything for you.
07:40Yes, Patty.
07:41If you were on a ship and fell overboard,
07:43wouldn't I jump in to save you?
07:45Yes, Patty.
07:46And if you were in a burning building,
07:48wouldn't I rush in to pull you out?
07:49Yes, Patty.
07:51And if you were starving,
07:53wouldn't I offer to share my last crust of bread?
07:55Yes, Patty.
07:56Then don't you think it's about time
07:57you did something for me?
08:07You won't budge.
08:08I don't get it.
08:10After all you've done for her,
08:12why is Kathy so stubborn?
08:14Because she has the soul of a mule.
08:16It's such a small favor.
08:18Of course it is.
08:19Look, if I were Kathy,
08:21I'd do it in a minute.
08:26Richard?
08:28What did I just say?
08:30Um, of course it is.
08:32No, no, no.
08:33After that.
08:34If you were Kathy,
08:35you'd do it in a minute.
08:36That's exactly what I said.
08:38Richard?
08:39Shake hands with that genius.
08:41Sorry to be late.
08:43Well, you know why we're here today.
08:45Yes, indeed.
08:46Are you ready to name
08:47this big star you can bring to the dance?
08:49Of course.
08:50Mr. President,
08:51if I'm appointed prom chairman,
08:53my first official act
08:54will be to announce
08:55that the guest celebrity
08:56will be none other
08:58than Bertram Bristol.
09:00Bertram Bristol?
09:02In person.
09:03The mop?
09:04The mop?
09:06Oh.
09:07What did you bring?
09:09Forget it.
09:10Patty, you've got the job.
09:12Thank you, Mr. President.
09:14Are you sure you can deliver him?
09:16Of course.
09:17He's an old friend of the family.
09:19Patty.
09:20Come on, Richard.
09:21We mustn't keep dear Binky waiting.
09:22Binky?
09:23Mm-hmm.
09:24That's what his friends call him.
09:25Ta-ta.
09:26Wait a minute.
09:28How do we know
09:29Patty's telling the truth?
09:30Because Patty wouldn't tell a lie.
09:32That's right.
09:33She has too much character
09:34and integrity.
09:35That's right.
09:37And because she knows
09:38if she doesn't deliver the mop now,
09:39the class will tear
09:40a limb from limb.
09:44That's right.
09:54Here it is.
09:551492.
09:57That's the year Columbus
09:58discovered America.
09:59Maybe that's a good luck omen.
10:00Do you think
10:01this is really gonna work?
10:02Sure.
10:03When I called from the lobby,
10:04he said to come right up.
10:05Only he thought
10:06he was talking to Kathy.
10:07Will you stop splitting hairs?
10:12He shook my hand.
10:17Now, how can anyone
10:18be so hector?
10:20He's just another
10:21ordinary human being.
10:22Yeah.
10:24Are you sure you don't want me
10:25to go in there with you, Patty?
10:26Positive.
10:27I can handle this fine
10:28by myself.
10:29I'll see you later.
10:30Okay.
10:32Come in.
10:44Corn!
10:45Look who's here!
10:49What's wrong, Kath?
10:54Nothing.
10:57It's nice to see you again,
10:58Mr. Bristol.
10:59Mr. Bristol?
11:00Mr. Bristol?
11:01Come on, Kath.
11:02Look, it's me,
11:03the old binker.
11:04Yes, of course.
11:06Hello, binky.
11:07That's more like it.
11:09Here, let's have a look at you.
11:11Oh, you're beautiful.
11:13Am I?
11:14Yeah.
11:15I like your hair, too.
11:18I love yours.
11:20Let's sit down
11:21and have a bit of a talk,
11:22shall we?
11:23Come on, now.
11:24Do you want to drop a tea?
11:26No, thank you.
11:27Well, no tea?
11:28That doesn't sound
11:29like my Kathy.
11:30Oh,
11:31I'd love a cup.
11:32Yeah, of course,
11:33that's more like it.
11:35Here you are, dear.
11:38Oops.
11:39A little milk.
11:43Oh,
11:44it's been a long time, Ducks.
11:46Hasn't it, though?
11:47Do you ever hear
11:48from any of the old gang?
11:51Old gang?
11:52Yeah, you know,
11:53Addy and Pat.
11:54Oh,
11:55Addy and Pat.
11:57Do you remember
11:58the night in the hall
11:59when I tried to kiss you?
12:03I did.
12:05Why do you like
12:06living here in the States, eh?
12:08I love it.
12:09I live with my father's brother,
12:10Uncle Martin,
12:11and I go to school
12:12with my cousin, Patty.
12:15What a doll.
12:16Is she now?
12:19You'd love her.
12:20Yeah?
12:21Oh, I wish I had time
12:22to meet her.
12:24I think I could arrange that.
12:26Binky,
12:28my school is giving a dance
12:29and I was hoping
12:30you could drop by.
12:31Oh,
12:32I'd like that, Kath.
12:33Honest, I would.
12:34Then you come.
12:35I just haven't got
12:36the time, old girl.
12:37Oh,
12:38you could just come
12:39and say hello
12:40and then run.
12:41Oh,
12:42much too busy, Kath.
12:43You see,
12:44there's this new album
12:45and rehearsing
12:46for the telly and...
12:47Oh, cool.
12:48Blimey,
12:49there it goes again.
12:50Be back in a jiff.
12:51Oh, but...
12:52Now,
12:53what am I going to do?
12:55And because she knows
12:56if she doesn't deliver
12:57the mark now,
12:58the class will tear
12:59a limb from limb.
13:00Walter,
13:01honest,
13:02I tried.
13:03It's not my fault.
13:04Then let this be
13:05a lesson to you.
13:06In the future,
13:07don't make promises
13:08on behalf of other people.
13:09Now you tell me.
13:10You could look
13:11through the newspaper
13:12and see what celebrities
13:13are in Tom and Carlton.
13:14And you
13:15and your bright ideas.
13:16You're the one
13:17who got me into this
13:18in the first place.
13:19Oh,
13:20you're the one
13:21who got me into this
13:22in the first place.
13:23Were you talking to me?
13:24Oh, no.
13:25I was, uh,
13:26humming.
13:27Mm-hmm.
13:28Yeah,
13:29do you know
13:30who that was on the phone?
13:31George Bassett.
13:33Good old George Bassett.
13:34How is he?
13:35Do you know him, then?
13:36I never heard of him.
13:38Oh.
13:40Neither have I.
13:42Well,
13:43whoever he was,
13:44he tried to put the bite
13:45on me for 50 pounds.
13:46He did?
13:47Yeah,
13:48happens to me all the time now.
13:50I'm rich and famous.
13:52I hear more hard luck stories.
13:55Hard luck stories?
13:56Yeah,
13:57and you know
13:58how soft-hearted I am?
13:59I can't never say no.
14:02Binky,
14:05I didn't want
14:06to tell you this before,
14:08but you know the dance
14:09my school is giving?
14:11It's practically
14:12a matter of life or death.
14:14Life or death?
14:16Mm-hmm.
14:17It's being given
14:18to raise money
14:19for someone
14:20who's in terrible trouble.
14:22Someone very dear to me.
14:25Yeah,
14:26not your uncle.
14:27He lost his job
14:28months ago,
14:30replaced by a machine.
14:32Oh,
14:33poor old glider.
14:35Hasn't he gotten
14:36any money saved?
14:37Oh, not a penny.
14:38He's a terrible spendthrift.
14:40Well,
14:41that's a bit dodgy,
14:42isn't it?
14:43That's why
14:44we're having the dance,
14:45to raise enough money
14:46so that we won't starve.
14:47Well,
14:48you should have told me
14:49this before, Kath.
14:51I was too embarrassed.
14:53To tell your troubles
14:54to the old binger?
14:55Binky,
14:56if I announce
14:57that you'll be at the dance,
14:58everyone in school
14:59will buy tickets
15:00and Uncle Martin
15:01will be saved.
15:02Kath,
15:03you try and keep me away.
15:05I mean,
15:07I mean,
15:09thanks ever so.
15:11You're the better.
15:14Oh,
15:15here's the address
15:16of my school.
15:17Now,
15:18you come there
15:19a week from Saturday
15:20at nine o'clock.
15:21All right,
15:22nine o'clock it is then.
15:24Thank you, Binky.
15:26You're wonderful.
15:27So are you, Kath.
15:29You're all our...
15:38This should sell
15:39a million tickets.
15:40It's going to be
15:41the most successful prom
15:42the school's ever had.
15:43It sure was nice
15:44of Kathy to get him,
15:45wasn't it?
15:46Yeah.
15:48Hello, Patty.
15:49Oh, hi, Kath.
15:50We were just talking
15:51about you.
15:52Were you?
15:53Mm-hmm.
15:54Tell me, Patty,
15:55I'm dying to know,
15:56how did you ever get Binky
15:57to agree to come?
15:59Oh, I
16:00just went over
16:01to his hotel
16:02and asked him.
16:03And he said yes
16:04just like that?
16:05Mm-hmm.
16:06Well, you know,
16:07all actors are hams.
16:08Patty's
16:09pretty persuasive.
16:10Did you tell him
16:11we're cousins?
16:12Uh,
16:13yeah,
16:14I think I did mention it.
16:15You think I'll call him?
16:16No!
16:18I don't think
16:19you should do that.
16:20Why not?
16:22Uh...
16:25Well, Kathy,
16:26he, uh,
16:27he didn't remember you.
16:30He didn't?
16:32No.
16:34Oh,
16:35I'm surprised.
16:36We were rather close.
16:38Well,
16:39you know how it is.
16:40He's met millions of people.
16:41He's a celebrity.
16:43Everyone's after him.
16:45Well, I'm not.
16:47And I'm certainly
16:48not going to phone him.
16:49That's a good idea.
16:51But when I see him
16:52at the dance,
16:53I'm going to tell him
16:54exactly what I think of him.
16:56What did the man say?
16:58Oh, what a tangled web.
16:59Oui, oui.
17:01He was right.
17:05You know, Richard,
17:07I think I've done it again.
17:10If Binky Bristol
17:11shows up at the dance,
17:12Kathy's gonna hate me.
17:13And if he doesn't show up,
17:16limb from limb.
17:25It's 9.15.
17:26He's late.
17:27I know.
17:31He's not coming.
17:32I can feel it.
17:34Why couldn't I
17:35let Sue Ellen be chairman?
17:38Why'd I get up this morning?
17:39When was I born?
17:41Patty, cut it out.
17:42You're getting hysterical.
17:44Here he comes.
17:45Here I am, Kath.
17:46Sorry I'm late.
17:47I've come straight on
17:48from rehearsals.
17:49Can't stop long, though.
17:50Okay.
17:51Light your ear that way.
17:53Oh.
17:55I wear it this way
17:56for parties.
17:57Oh, uh, Binky,
17:58this is Richard Harrison.
17:59Like hi.
18:00Hi.
18:01Well, uh.
18:03Is he yours?
18:04No, no.
18:05He belongs to my cousin Kath.
18:06Patty.
18:08If you wait right there,
18:09I'll go introduce you.
18:12Hello, students.
18:13Fasten your seatbelts.
18:14He's here.
18:15The one and only
18:16Bertram Ristow.
18:17Hi.
18:18Hi.
18:19Hi.
18:20Hi.
18:21Hi.
18:22Hi.
18:23Hi.
18:24Hi.
18:25Hi.
18:26Hi.
18:27Hi.
18:28Hi.
18:29Hi.
18:30Hi.
18:31Hi.
18:32Hi.
18:33Hi.
18:34Hi.
18:35Hi.
18:36Hi.
18:37Hi.
18:38Hi.
18:39Hi.
18:40Hi.
18:41Hi.
18:42Hi.
18:43Hi.
18:44Hi.
18:45Hi.
18:46Hi.
18:47Hi.
18:48Hi.
18:49Hi.
18:50Hi.
18:51Hi.
18:52Hi.
18:53Hi.
18:54Hi.
18:55Hi.
18:56Hi.
18:57Hi.
18:58Hi.
18:59Hi.
19:00Hi.
19:01Hi.
19:02Hi.
19:03Hi.
19:04Hi.
19:05Hi.
19:06Hi.
19:07Hi.
19:08Hi.
19:09Hi.
19:10Hi.
19:11Hi.
19:12Hi.
19:13Hi.
19:14Hi.
19:15Hi.
19:16Hi.
19:17Hi.
19:18Hi.
19:19Hi.
19:20Hi.
19:21Hi.
19:22Hi.
19:23Hi.
19:24Hi.
19:25Hi.
19:26Hi.
19:27Hi.
19:28Hi.
19:29Hi.
19:30Hi.
19:31Hi.
19:32Hi.
19:33Hi.
19:34Hi.
19:35Hi.
19:36Hi.
19:37Hi.
19:38Hi.
19:39Hi.
19:40Hi.
19:41Hi.
19:42Hi.
19:43Hi.
19:44Hi.
19:45Hi.
19:46Hi.
19:47Hi.
19:48Hi.
19:49Hi.
19:50Hi.
19:51Hi.
19:52Hi.
19:53Hi.
19:54Hi.
19:55Hi.
19:56Hi.
19:57Hi.
19:58Hi.
19:59Hi.
20:00Hi.
20:01Hi.
20:02Hi.
20:03Hi.
20:04Hi.
20:05Hi.
20:06Hi.
20:07Hi.
20:08Hi.
20:09Hi.
20:10Hi.
20:11Hi.
20:12Hi.
20:13Hi.
20:14Hi.
20:15Hi.
20:16Hi.
20:17Hi.
20:18Hi.
20:19Hi.
20:20Hi.
20:21Hi.
20:22Hi.
20:23Hi.
20:24Hi.
20:25Hi.
20:26Hi.
20:27Hi.
20:28Hi.
20:29Hi.
20:30Hi.
20:31Hi.
20:32Hi.
20:33Hi.
20:34Hi.
20:35Hi.
20:36Hi.
20:38You didn't tell me your cousin Pattie was your
20:40spitting image.
20:41I'm Cathy and the reason I didn't tell you about
20:44my cousin Pattie is because I haven't seen you
20:47until just now.
20:49You mean...
20:54I lost my head.
20:56Pattie, how could you do a thing like this.
20:58I'm sorry, Cathy.
21:03I apologize Mr. Christof.
21:06You see, when Kathy wouldn't go to see you,
21:09I couldn't figure out any other way to get to you.
21:11So I posed as Kathy.
21:14So it was you who'd come to my suite.
21:17And you mean to tell me you weren't going to call
21:19on your old friend, Binky?
21:23Well, Binky, I thought that you'd...
21:24You've got a lot to thank your cousin for.
21:27Cool, I'm late.
21:28Come on, we can talk over old times at rehearsals.
21:32Rehearsal?
21:33Yeah, for a television show.
21:35Come on, we'd better be going now.
21:36But I...
21:37Don't fight it, Cap.
21:3850 million women are dying to take your place.
21:41All right.
21:43Cheers, old girl.
21:44You've done a good deed.
21:54He shook my hand.
21:55It was the best evening of my whole life.
22:01You sure were a smash.
22:03Imagine being made permanent prom chairman.
22:06Gee, who are you going to get next year?
22:08Maybe the president.
22:10You know what's so great, Rich?
22:11I pulled the whole thing off without getting in trouble.
22:14Patty.
22:18Hi, Mommo, Poppo.
22:20Hi.
22:21How was the dance?
22:21A blast, Martian green.
22:23Well, that's nice.
22:24Patty, I just got this note.
22:26Now it says, keep your chin up, Governor.
22:30And there was a check for $100 enclosed.
22:33Can you explain that?
22:36Oh, no.
22:42Here's your supper, sis.
22:44Oh, thank you, Ross.
22:46Put on it, Patty.
22:48You're lucky it isn't bread and water.
22:50I deserve it.
22:52How long you in for?
22:53Six months.
22:55Well, it's time out for good behavior.
22:58Here comes the warden.
23:02Excuse me, son.
23:03Yes, sir.
23:04I'll go downstairs and ask Mom to bake you a cake
23:06with a file on it.
23:16Can the prisoner make a statement?
23:18Yes.
23:20I'm sorry.
23:23My only excuse is I got carried away.
23:27Patty, I understand that what you were doing
23:32was for a worthy cause, but you behaved outrageously.
23:38I acted like a gleep.
23:40You lied to Mr. Bristol, you imposed on him shamefully,
23:44and you put me in a very embarrassing situation.
23:47Yes, sir.
23:49So, until further notice, there will be no dates for you.
23:55Yes, sir.
23:56And I am confiscating all of these albums.
24:00This household has heard the last flat note
24:03from that British nightingale.
24:06Yes, sir.
24:12Who the devil put that on?
24:14I don't know.
24:20♪ Listen, oh, oh, oh, I've been masoning ♪
24:24Will you throw that thing out of here?
24:26♪ Hold your case and open, open up your heart ♪
24:33♪ Open up your heart, open up your heart ♪
24:37Uncle Marty, look who I brought home to dinner.
24:42♪ Here's Kathy who's lived most everywhere ♪
24:47♪ From Zanzibar to Barclays Square ♪
24:50♪ But Patty's only seen the sights a girl can see ♪
24:52♪ From Brooklyn Heights, what a crazy pair ♪
24:56♪ But their cousins, I bet it goes on forever ♪
25:00♪ And I'm sure they'll be happy to see you there too ♪
25:03♪ You can see from Brooklyn Heights, what a crazy pair ♪
25:07♪ But their cousins, I bet it goes cousins and you'll find ♪
25:14♪ They laugh alike, they walk alike, at times they even talk alike ♪
25:18♪ You can lose your mind when cousins are two of a kind ♪
25:23♪ Two of a kind ♪