Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about how STD's are currently at an all-time high and the show becomes distracted when Dave gets very descriptive about unprotected sex.
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00:00you guys there are uh tainted tallywhackers and contaminated coochies all over the united
00:09i had no idea what you're talking about so if you're in the dating world right now
00:14look out because three stds have hit all-time highs aids no chalk aids just guessing it's a
00:25good gift gonorrhea gonorrhea chlamydia and syphilis
00:31just hit all-time highs in the united states to put an exact number on it in the last year alone
00:382.4 million cases were identified that's the largest number in history since they started
00:46keeping track right what makes it suck more it wasn't too long ago that cases of these same stds
00:51were at historic lows they'd been on a steady decline since 1941 so why the resurgence in
00:57crotch funk it was tinder it was like don't ever say crunch crotch funk who wants a funk gotta get
01:06crotch funk now uh yeah it has to be tinder right the dating it just became so easy they're not saying
01:18that they say fewer people are using condoms and the newer cases get this are happening happening
01:24primarily with teens and young adults so we're not educating our kids enough about this yeah yeah
01:31people are fine with having just having a random baby you play russian roulette with your schlong
01:36why would you do that i i mean i understand how great it feels to penetrate someone without
01:43protection how good does it feel i'm just saying you always have to get so descriptive we know what
01:49we know what you mean i know it feels like putting it in a hot fresh apple pie okay all right yeah but but but you just gotta put it in a plastic wrap
02:01sorry i was trying to just get a point across yes yes i don't know why you wouldn't want to feel like the soft walls of the inside of a woman okay all right all righty
02:14stop it like heaven
02:19it's hot in here now
02:23slippery skin walls okay no matter how amazing it feels you don't want crotch funk
02:30you don't want a tainted tally whacker
02:33you want a contaminated coochie deal
02:36you don't want you you don't want your coochie contaminated i know you want a tally whacker
02:41it's hard to come up with a different way to say things all the time
02:47i hope you don't have a crotch cooter
02:50because i know how great it feels
02:59you want creepy crawlies all over your coochie
03:02coochie crawlers
03:04you want coochie crawlers
03:06i'm gonna wrap this up before i penetrate you
03:09you know just how that feels
03:14you know how i love the feeling of it without it
03:18but i don't want my tally whacker too
03:22i don't know
03:23like a meat rod
03:25just
03:26i don't want some
03:27you guys
03:28tickling your insides
03:29i don't want some kind of blistery schlong
03:34yeah you got that right
03:37damn it
03:38you don't
03:39i don't want a blistery bernie schlong
03:42no matter how good it feels
03:45like classic penetration
03:49nothing like a bad
03:52classic penetration
03:57stop it
04:00you guys know how it feels
04:06we gonna death and fall
04:08classic penetration play
04:10crotch funk
04:11oh man
04:15no i'm never gonna hear this song the same again
04:18i know oh yeah
04:18you got the funk
04:20we'll see you doctor man
04:23gotta get that crotch
04:25funk
04:25anyway
04:29my point before the distraction was
04:35slowly sliding it into the inside
04:37okay
04:38we all know how wonderful that feels
04:41but you risk all that other stuff
04:44wrap it up
04:45you gotta wrap it up
04:46people aren't wrapping it up
04:48we need to make a psa
04:49we're not terrifying people enough
04:51we should terrify people more
04:53yeah
04:54yeah
04:55that's the only way it's gonna work
04:57at least it's just grouping down
04:59yeah well
05:00this is her jam
05:02this is good stuff
05:04this is lisa's jams
05:05lisa always brings it
05:08yeah
05:08maybe not now
05:10no
05:10crotch funk
05:11yeah
05:12crotch funk
05:13brought it down a bit
05:14it did
05:14it ruined funk
05:15i ruined funk today
05:17you ruined funk
05:18you killed it
05:19no
05:19you've ruined all of
05:21all of funk
05:21go funk yourself
05:23there's no way
05:24it's true
05:26george clinton's crying
05:28gotta have that crotch
05:29funk
05:30tiny
05:32no tina telly
05:34keep your tally
05:36wacko
05:36that's it about
05:42stds
05:42you