Dave & Chuck the Freak watch a video of a girl who suffered an asstastrophe which leads to Chuck and James explaining their theory of how they would want the scenario to play out for them.
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00:00What is the worst thing that has happened to your ass?
00:11What was your ass-tastrophe?
00:13Now we bring it up because of this video that's making its way online
00:17of a British girl who took a tumble.
00:19She's dancing with her friends.
00:20Yeah.
00:22And apparently she tried something called a slut drop.
00:28Christ is a slut drop.
00:31On the British TV show, Jory Shore, which is like their version of Jersey Shore.
00:35I think it's kind of like dropping it like it's hot.
00:37Yeah, you basically just drop down real fast, right?
00:39Like Dave does.
00:41Yeah, Bonnie Lee Brown was getting ready for this night out
00:43when she tried this slut drop.
00:45And instead she ended up with an ass-tastrophe.
00:48I haven't watched this yet because I wasn't sure if it was bad or not.
00:52What's the scale of bad on this?
00:55Yeah, James isn't very...
00:57It looked incredibly painful.
00:59It's not going to be that thing, is it, that's behind her?
01:01This?
01:02Yes.
01:02Yeah?
01:03This thing here?
01:04Uh-huh.
01:05Okay, here it is then.
01:06Here's Bonnie Lee Brown and her ass-tastrophe.
01:10Can we listen to it?
01:11Oh, where did it get her?
01:17Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
01:20Ah!
01:21Oh.
01:22Oh my God.
01:23Uh-oh.
01:25Ah!
01:26Okay.
01:27Ouch.
01:27All right, I'm not going to listen to that song over and over again.
01:30But like, it looked honestly, though, like she's taken it so many times in the poop shoot
01:34that it just slid right in there and out.
01:36No, that's not it.
01:38She said it didn't go up my butthole, but went into my ass-cheek and I had to have three
01:44stitches.
01:45The cheeks are designed to offer a lot of protection.
01:48Yeah.
01:48In cases like these.
01:51In cases like these?
01:53That was very technical, Lee.
01:56You sounded like you were a doctor giving an ass-lection.
01:58In cases of a classic slut drop, the ass-cheek has been known to offer quite a bit of protection.
02:04I feel like I'd be in real trouble.
02:08Why?
02:09You have cheeks?
02:11Cheeks could protect?
02:12Why, thank you.
02:12I think you're saying base.
02:13You almost stick out the word big.
02:14You know, the thing is, though, a lot of my cheek has got some muscle mass, and I feel
02:22like you'd want as much...
02:23You want fat.
02:24You want fat, right?
02:26What are you trying to say is you have a real muscular ass?
02:28Is that what you're saying?
02:28I have more...
02:29I feel like when it hits the muscle, it would hurt more than if it just oozed into...
02:34Would you want an ass-muscle or b-hole?
02:39I'll slide right in and out of my b-hole.
02:41If it was a perfect...
02:44He's going b-hole.
02:45I'll say this right now.
02:47If it was a perfect shot, if it was a perfect shot, I'd want b-hole.
02:52If it was perfect.
02:55If it was perfect.
02:57It makes sense.
02:58What you're saying makes sense.
02:59Yeah.
03:00Because the pole is so thin.
03:02Yep.
03:02It's such a thin little pole.
03:04That if it was a perfect shot...
03:05It probably would hurt less going up the b-hole than penetrating the skin of the butt
03:09It would be like, I think something happened, but I'm not sure.
03:12Oh, did I just fart?
03:13Yeah.
03:13Did the deterrent just fall out of my butt?
03:14What happened?
03:15Crazy.
03:15No, I'm telling you.
03:17I think you're crazy.
03:18If I sat on a pen perfectly, I would just get up and I could write a sentence with my
03:24butt.
03:25That's it.
03:25I know.
03:26This wouldn't hurt.
03:27But did you see how she was high up and she landed?
03:31She slipped and dropped down.
03:32Like, it's a forceful...
03:35I bet if I took my pants off and you took this pen and you were like, wham!
03:40And you got me perfect.
03:43Pulled by.
03:43Right in the stinker.
03:44It sounds like you want that.
03:46It sounds like this is what you want to happen.
03:48I think so.
03:49This is what we're discovering.
03:50This is a different discussion.
03:51He's opening the gateway to butt stuff.
03:53Maybe.
03:55No, but I'm just saying, a perfect shot.
03:58It would hurt so much more to get punctured in your ass than to just slide up a butthole.
04:04Your butthole is like, it's just air.
04:07Your cheek's designed to take...
04:08That's where they give you shots and stuff.
04:10Yeah.
04:11No, I know.
04:12It's designed to take a lot.
04:13I know, but my butthole has been through a lot, too.
04:16I don't think that it would hurt.
04:17It's designed to take a lot, too.
04:19But I think that the butthole is designed as a release and it's not designed as an entrance.
04:23Exactly.
04:24I think what you've not realized is just how easy it is to get in there.
04:29Into yours.
04:30I think into anybody's.
04:31You risk damaging, too, that area.
04:34Lisa, I said, if it was a perfect shot, if it was going to damage me, I don't want it in my butthole.
04:42Are we really arguing about this?
04:43If it's just going to go...
04:44Big b-hole debate.
04:45Like, it didn't...
04:46Don't show us.
04:48If it was just going to go in and out like that...
04:52God, Chuck, that's too much.
04:54Like that and out.
04:56Not like tear and out.
04:58No.
04:58If it tears, I don't want it.
05:00That's why I think it's long enough to where you're going to get some tearing.
05:02Yeah.
05:03And this is, I think, where you guys are getting me wrong is you think...
05:08Chuck's defending it.
05:08I am willing to take some kind of butt damage.
05:12I'm not.
05:13It would only...
05:14But it would damage it.
05:16It's guaranteed it would damage it.
05:17There's no way it's going to be that perfect that it's going to come in and out without causing damage.
05:21And this is what I'm saying.
05:22Like, if it is going to cause damage, I'd rather damage to my cheek.
05:26If it was not going to cause damage and it was just like, whoa, like a shock, I'd rather have just the shock.
05:33And not have to go to your hospital.
05:35I'm going to stress right now on what Chuck wants up his waist.
05:37Christ.
05:37Okay?
05:38I do like the idea.
05:39Explain something to you guys.
05:40If you were to take this pen and I were to bend over and wham!
05:45How much more do you guys need?
05:49Hold on.
05:50I'll start writing up a thesis.
05:51The way Chuck's explaining it, too, reminds me of my physics professor in college.
05:55When we talk about, like, the bowling ball or the feather, which one drops at the same speed.
06:00In a vacuum, they drop the same speed.
06:02If your butthole leaves Cincinnati going 305 miles an hour.
06:06Soon this will be a course.
06:08Yeah.
06:08Oh, it absolutely will.
06:09You guys are just...
06:10Butt physics?
06:11Mm-hmm.
06:12It will be.
06:12Well, they need it for the lead.
06:14Yeah, we're going to need it.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:16Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:17Yeah.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Yeah.