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00:00Oh, no.
00:01What?
00:02That's Penny's ex-boyfriend.
00:04What do you suppose he's doing here,
00:06besides disrupting the local gravity field?
00:10If he were any bigger, he'd have moons orbiting him.
00:13Oh, snap.
00:16So I guess we'll be leaving now.
00:18Why should we leave?
00:20For all we know, he crashed the party
00:22and Penny doesn't even want him here.
00:26You have a backup hypothesis?
00:29Maybe they just want to be friends.
00:31Or maybe she wants to be friends
00:33and he wants something more.
00:35Then he and I are on equal ground.
00:37Yes, but you're much closer to it than he is.
00:42Look, if this was 15,000 years ago,
00:44by virtue of his size and strength,
00:46Kurt would be entitled to his choice of female partners.
00:49And male partners, animal partners,
00:51large primordial eggplants,
00:52pretty much whatever tickled his fancy.
00:55Yes, but our society has undergone a paradigm shift.
00:58In the information age, Sheldon,
01:00you and I are the alpha males.
01:02We shouldn't have to back down.
01:04True.
01:05Why don't you text him that and see if he backs down?
01:09No.
01:11I'm going to assert my dominance face-to-face.
01:15Face-to-face?
01:16Are you going to wait for him to sit down
01:17or are you going to stand on the coffee table?
01:21Hello, Penny.
01:22Hello, Kurt.
01:23Oh, hey, guys.
01:24You having a good time?
01:25Huh?
01:26Given the reaction to my costume,
01:27this party is a scathing indictment
01:28of the American education system.
01:31What? You're a zebra, right?
01:34You have another child left behind.
01:37What are you supposed to be, an elf?
01:39No, I'm a hobbit.
01:41What's the difference?
01:42A hobbit is a mortal halfling
01:44inhabitant of Middle Earth,
01:45whereas an elf is an immortal tall warrior.
01:49So why the hell would you want to be a hobbit?
01:52Because he's neither tall nor immortal,
01:54and none of us could be the Flash.
01:57Well, whatever.
01:58Why don't you go hop off on a quest?
02:00Talking to Penny here.
02:01I think we're all talking to Penny here.
02:03I'm not.
02:04No offense.
02:06Okay, maybe he didn't hear me.
02:08Go away.
02:09All right, Kurt, be nice.
02:10Oh, I am being nice.
02:13Right, little buddy?
02:14Kurt?
02:15Okay.
02:17I understand your impulse
02:19to try to physically intimidate me.
02:21I mean, you can't compete with me
02:22on an intellectual level,
02:23and so you're driven to animalistic puffery.
02:26Call me a puffy animal?
02:29Of course not.
02:30No, he's not.
02:31You're not, right, Leonard?
02:33No, I said animalistic.
02:36I mean, of course, we're all animals,
02:37but some of us have climbed a little higher
02:39on the evolutionary tree.
02:41If he understands that, you're in trouble.
02:43So what? I'm unevolved?
02:45You're in trouble.
02:47You know, you use a lot of big words
02:49for such a little dwarf.
02:51Okay, Kurt, please.
02:52No, Penny, it's okay.
02:53I can handle this.
02:55I am not a dwarf.
02:57I'm a hobbit.
02:59A hobbit!
03:00Are misfiring neurons in your hippocampus
03:02preventing the conversion
03:03from short-term to long-term memory?
03:08Okay, now you're starting to make me mad.
03:11A homo habilis discovering his opposable thumb says what?
03:16What?
03:22I think I've made my point.
03:23Yeah?
03:24How about I make a point
03:25out of your pointy little head?
03:27Let me remind you,
03:28while my moral support is absolute,
03:30in a physical confrontation,
03:31I will be less than useless.
03:33There's not going to be a confrontation.
03:35In fact, I doubt if he can even spell confrontation.
03:41C-O-N...
03:44frontation.
03:46Kurt, put him down this instant.
03:48He started it.
03:49I don't care.
03:50I'm finishing it.
03:51Put him down.
03:52Fine.
03:59Bazinga, punk.
04:00Now we're even.
04:02Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this?
04:03This movie's pretty scary.
04:05Please.
04:06I'm an adult.
04:07I think I can handle it.
04:08That's what you said
04:09about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo.
04:12That was my fault.
04:13After I pecked that goat,
04:14I felt like a gladiator.
04:16Okay, lights on or lights off?
04:17Lights off.
04:18I'm going to do this.
04:19I want to do it right.
04:27What do you guys think you're doing?
04:29We're showing Sheldon Halloween.
04:30Absolutely not.
04:31Sheldon, come home.
04:35But I really want to watch it.
04:36I know you do,
04:37but I am forbidding it.
04:38Oh, man.
04:40Sorry, guys.
04:42What took you so long?
04:43I'm sorry.
04:44I just got your text.
04:45All right.
04:46Halloween party here.
04:47Okay.
04:48Great.
04:49Can't wait.
04:50What are you going as?
04:51I don't want to ruin the surprise.
04:52You'll see it at work.
04:53Just a warning.
04:54It's pretty scary.
04:55Is it a bird?
04:56No.
04:57Is it a dog?
04:58No.
04:59Oh, I think I'll be fine then.
05:05Hello.
05:08Hello.
05:10Hello.
05:13I see you are dressed as Doc Brown
05:15from Back to the Future.
05:16May I assume that Amy is going as his wife,
05:18Clara Clayton from Back to the Future Part III?
05:21She is.
05:36Did you do something different to your hair?
05:40Yes.
05:44Looking good.
05:56Hey, Sheldon.
05:57Hello.
06:03Oh, my God.
06:04You look amazing.
06:06I find you guilty of murder
06:08for killing it.
06:10Well, technically,
06:11the Supreme Court wouldn't determine
06:12a defendant's guilt or innocence
06:14in a criminal matter.
06:15They could only reverse or revamp
06:16a jury's conviction
06:17based on a constitutional or statutory issue.
06:23Why are you laughing?
06:25His statement was factually correct.
06:29You're sitting in my spot.
06:32You don't have a spot.
06:33What is wrong with you today?
06:35Maybe he's cranky
06:36because he's off his bathroom schedule.
06:40Oh, I can understand
06:41how that would make someone irritable.
06:43Interesting fact.
06:44Irritable comes from the Latin
06:46susceptible to anger.
06:49Just because I used a word
06:50doesn't mean I want its etymology.
06:51Interesting fact.
06:52Etymology comes from the Greek.
06:54You are being so annoying.
06:56Stop it.
06:57And why are you two laughing?
07:01Sheldon, he's being you.
07:02He's dressed as you for Halloween.
07:06Oh.
07:16Oh.
07:18Well, so you're not laughing at him.
07:20You're laughing at me.
07:22We're not laughing at you.
07:23We're laughing with you.
07:25But I'm not laughing.
07:28Then the first one.
07:30Since you enjoyed
07:31getting rid of all my stuff,
07:32maybe we should
07:33throw this little lady
07:34in the wood chipper.
07:35No.
07:37And the little lady has a name.
07:39Which is?
07:42Tammy Jo St. Cloud.
07:46Tammy Jo St. Cloud.
07:49And I'm a dork for juggling.
07:51Sorry.
07:52You're not a dork.
07:54You're a clown.
07:57Tammy Jo, don't say that.
07:58It'll make him feel bad.
08:01Look at him.
08:02What reason he got to feel good.
08:06All right.
08:07Very funny.
08:08Don't listen to her.
08:09She's been in a box
08:10for like 25 years.
08:11Yeah.
08:12Back when his haircut
08:13was fashionable.
08:17That's enough.
08:18Put her away.
08:19Oh, Big Daddy.
08:20I don't think so.
08:21You marry Miss Bernie,
08:22you marry me.
08:25We are family now.
08:30You're freaking me out.
08:31Don't be that way.
08:32If you don't mind
08:33a few splinters,
08:34maybe we can have us
08:35a menage a trois.
08:43It worked.
08:46It really worked.
08:49They said I was mad,
08:50but it worked.
08:59Oh, no.
09:00Not four locks.
09:02Not flesh eating four locks.
09:05No!
09:15Sheldon?
09:16Are you okay?
09:18We have to get rid
09:19of the time machine.
09:20This is a little big
09:21for the living room,
09:22isn't it?
09:24Yeah, that's the problem.
09:25It's too big.
09:27I'm glad you agree.
09:28I hired some guys
09:29to help us move it.
09:30Come on in, fellas.
09:34Oh, no.
09:35More locks?
09:36Eat him.
09:37Eat him.
09:43Leonard!
09:45Whatcha watching?
09:46I don't know.
09:47Raj sent me some video
09:48of Buzz Aldrin.
09:51Here you go.
09:53It's a Milky Way.
09:55The Milky Way's
09:56a galaxy in space.
09:59I've been in space.
10:04Here's a Mars bar.
10:07I'm an astronaut.
10:13And this one's a moon pie.
10:16I walked on the moon.
10:20What have you done?
10:25Okay, I get it.
10:27Sheldon!
10:29It's not a great time.
10:30What do you want?
10:32Hello to you, too.
10:35I'm sorry,
10:36but this is important.
10:38What is it?
10:40Back to the Future 2
10:41was in the
10:42Back to the Future 3 case.
10:44And Back to the Future 3
10:45was, get this,
10:46in the
10:47Back to the Future 2 case.
10:50So?
10:52I'm going to tell you
10:53a story.
10:55So?
10:57So?
10:58Did you do that?
10:59Or am I in the house
11:00with an intruder?
11:03Sheldon, I gotta go inside.
11:05It's getting rough out here.
11:09You're dodging the question.
11:10I knew it was you.
11:15What was that?
11:17What was what?
11:18This isn't a very good connection,
11:19but it sounded like
11:20someone just released
11:21a Kraken.
11:24Okay.
11:26I'm hanging up now.
11:28You know there's no such thing
11:29as a Kraken.
11:32No!
11:36Penny.
11:37Penny.
11:38Penny.
11:40What's the matter?
11:42Um.
11:44Well, I was worried that
11:45you might be missing Leonard.
11:49And that might be causing you
11:50to have bad dreams.
11:52Like the kind you'd get
11:53if you watched
11:54Clash of the Titans
11:55right before you went to bed.
11:58Sweetie, did you
11:59have a bad dream?
12:02To be honest, I did.
12:04Back to the Future 2
12:05was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
12:08Leonard did it.
12:10Goodnight.
12:11No, wait.
12:13Perhaps I should sleep here
12:16so you don't miss Leonard as much.
12:19Because you're being
12:20kind of a baby about it.
12:24You know what?
12:25That would make me feel better.
12:28You're welcome.
12:34Goodnight.
12:36Need me to call someone?
12:37I'm guessing your mom's.
12:42Thanks, but we've got it covered.
12:44Okay, I just talked to my mom.
12:50She arranged for us
12:51to get a rental car.
12:54Great, we can still
12:55make it to Comic-Con.
12:56Are you kidding me?
12:57After all we've been through,
12:58I just want to go home.
13:00Don't be like that.
13:01Come on, have a talk to him.
13:03I'm with Leonard.
13:04I'm done.
13:06Fine.
13:07Then I guess it's
13:08two against two.
13:09How do we decide?
13:12Actually, it's three against one.
13:14What?
13:15What about the mission?
13:16You said we were
13:17a real-life landing party.
13:18Well, we're not.
13:20We're an imaginary landing party.
13:23Real-life garbage
13:24thrown at us
13:25by real-life strangers
13:26who think we're idiots.
13:28To tell you the truth,
13:29I'm starting to feel like one.
13:32I want to go home now.
13:35Okay.
13:37Did we at least
13:38rent the car from Enterprise?
13:43Get it?
13:44Enterprise.
13:47Screw you, that's funny.
13:50Very well.
13:52But if this leads to opiates
13:54or hallucinogenics,
13:55you're going to have to
13:56answer to my mother.
14:03Zoom, zoom, zoom!
14:10Where's the coffee?
14:12We're all out.
14:15No problem.
14:17I'll be back
14:18before this banana
14:19hits the ground.
14:21Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!
14:24Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!
14:28Ernie,
14:29home.
14:31You have fun today?
14:33Yes,
14:34and I have a surprise for you.
14:36Please be Cinderella.
14:37Please be Cinderella.
14:41Well, hello, Prince Charming.
14:47M'lady.
14:52M'lady.
15:01Hey, how was your...
15:02What?
15:05I can explain.
15:06I played hooky with the girls,
15:07then we all went to Disneyland and...
15:10What are you doing?
15:11Disneyland. Go on, I'm listening.
15:17Sheldon.
15:19All Snow White needs
15:20is one little kiss
15:21to wake up.
15:23Heard you the first time.
15:26Can't believe they're going to
15:27cut that with this
15:28punk-ass diamond saw.
15:36Jesus.
15:37Jesus.
15:50Leonard, what are you doing?
15:51Showing you
15:52that this is the better way.
15:54Stop!
15:55Whatever's inside there
15:56is dangerous.
16:01Oh,
16:02and pretty.
16:07What is that?
16:10Are you okay?
16:12Yeah, I'm fine.
16:13I'm just
16:14feeling a little...
16:21Hungry.
16:25Stop eating butt!
16:30Keep eating butt!
16:34Leonard.
16:35Leonard.
16:36What?
16:37You're having a bad dream.
16:38Oh, thank God.
16:40I was eating my friends.
16:41Well, one friend
16:42and one acquaintance.
16:43You know what?
16:44It's okay.
16:45Two friends.
16:47Let me see if you're
16:48running a fever.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Oh, yeah.
16:51You're burning up.
16:57Jeez.
16:58Are you okay?
17:00It depends.
17:01What color are my eyes?
17:02I don't know.
17:03Brown?
17:04No, green.
17:05I'm awake, brown.
17:08Oh, good.
17:09I'm awake.
17:10What's up?
17:11It just occurred to me
17:12that I never formally
17:13congratulated you
17:14on your pending nuptials,
17:16so I hopped on the first bus
17:18and hightailed it down here
17:19to shake your hand.
17:20Put her there,
17:21you old so-and-so.
17:24Well, I'm going to
17:25see you at work
17:26in 12 hours.
17:27Don't you think
17:28you could have waited
17:29until then?
17:31Holy smoke!
17:32Why didn't I think of that?
17:33You're a better man
17:34than I, Howard Wolowitz.
17:35You put her there,
17:36you son of a gun.
17:39Whatever.
17:46What?
17:47Oh, my God!
17:48Howie!
17:49What did you do?
17:50It was a harmless
17:51Halloween prank.
17:52Look.
17:53Howard has a heart condition.
17:54Do you know that?
17:55Well, I thought
17:56he made that up.
17:57Isn't hypochondria
17:58a common idiosyncrasy
17:59of Jewish people?
18:05This is adrenaline.
18:06We're going to have to
18:07inject it into his heart.
18:08We are?
18:09You are.
18:10I'm not strong enough
18:11to get it through his chest plate
18:12and we've only got one shot.
18:14Oh, no.
18:15I can't.
18:17Hurry.
18:18We're running out of time.
18:20Okay.
18:21Just do it.
18:22Oh, God.
18:23One,
18:24two,
18:25three.
18:27Trick or treat,
18:28bubble up.
18:29What?
18:32No.
18:33You mean this was
18:34all a ruse?
18:35Oh, how could I be so
18:36scared?
18:39When I left India
18:40for America,
18:41I was never
18:42more scared in my life.
18:44I had no idea
18:45what lay ahead.
18:47Whenever I feel that way,
18:48I think about how
18:49Voyager is
18:51still out there.
18:53Somewhere beyond
18:54our solar system.
18:55Going further than
18:56anyone ever
18:57thought it could.
19:01What?
19:02Don't leave.
19:03You can do this.
19:07Sheldon, is everything okay?
19:08It's too late
19:09for Cthulhu Pali.
19:10Let's go.
19:14Eleven minutes.
19:15That's longer than I thought.
19:18They're in my shirt.
19:19They're in my shirt.
19:20They're in my shirt!
19:23Do you really need me
19:24to transcribe this?
19:25You're not doing it
19:26for me.
19:27You're doing it
19:28for future generations
19:29who will benefit
19:30from my struggle.
19:33Sheldon's mind
19:34simulation log.
19:36Entry four.
19:38My KitKat has melted.
19:42All is lost.
19:45You call yourself
19:46a friend?
19:48I was trying to help you
19:49and in the first sign
19:50of trouble,
19:51you ran away
19:52leaving me
19:53to fend off
19:54a family of rats.
19:57You're completely selfish
19:58human being
19:59and a physical
20:00and a moral coward.
20:03His statements
20:04of the obvious
20:05continue to annoy.
20:07Be sure to check the mail.
20:09How many times
20:10are you going to tell me?
20:11What's with you?
20:12Nothing.
20:13It's not suspicious
20:14that I'm fixating.
20:15It's consistent
20:16with my personality.
20:18Right.
20:19Hey guys.
20:20More Halloween candy?
20:21Didn't you just buy
20:22a bunch of it yesterday?
20:23Oh, yeah, that's gone.
20:26It's a rough month
20:27when Halloween
20:28and PMS
20:29hit at the same time.
20:31Leonard doesn't have
20:32time to chat.
20:33He has to get the mail.
20:34Will you relax?
20:35I'll get it in a minute.
20:36Hey, how was work?
20:37Open the mail.
20:39Excuse me.
20:48Couple of circulars.
20:49Nothing important.
20:51What's with him?
20:52Hang on.
21:01You might be from Texas,
21:02but I'm from New Jersey.
21:07Oh, bother.
21:09Isn't that just
21:10always the way?
21:11You go to Staple something
21:12and you're out of Staples.
21:13Gosh,
21:14wish I'd known that
21:15earlier today
21:16when I was at Staples.
21:19You ever think of
21:20paperclips right there?
21:22Oh, no, no.
21:23I need something
21:24more permanent
21:25to join these people.
21:26Oh, no, no.
21:27Oh, no, no.
21:28Oh, no, no.
21:29More permanent
21:30to join these papers.
21:32Say,
21:33don't you keep Staples
21:34in your top desk drawer?
21:36I don't know.
21:37Maybe.
21:39Be a lamb and check.
21:42All right.
21:47Who do we have here?
21:51It's a snake.
21:52A terrifying snake.
21:54Did some bad man
21:56put us in a drawer?
21:58Stop talking like that.
21:59You've been rendered
22:00speechless by fear.
22:03Let's go to the biology lab
22:04and find you some nice
22:05yummy mice.
22:10I tried to scare an Indian
22:11with a snake.
22:14Come on, Cooper.
22:15You're better than this.
22:20The first 43 parallel universes
22:22I've checked
22:23proved to be empty.
22:25I see no reason to suspect
22:26universe number 44
22:27will be any different.
22:36Oh, my...
22:37Holy crap!
22:46Ow!
22:47It's hitting my face!
22:48Ah, it's hitting his face!
22:52What kind of tea
22:53would you like?
22:54I think I'm gonna try
22:56green tea
22:57mixed with lemon zinger.
22:59Two tea bags
23:00in one cup?
23:02You're not at a rave.
23:08So, listen, Sheldon,
23:09I was thinking
23:10since this is gonna be
23:11our first Halloween party
23:12as boyfriend and girlfriend,
23:14I thought it might be fun
23:15for us to go in
23:16a couple's costume.
23:18I couldn't agree more.
23:21Really?
23:22I find that inconsistent
23:23with everything I know about you.
23:25Oh, no.
23:26On the contrary.
23:27Couples' costumes
23:29are one of the few benefits
23:30of being in a relationship.
23:32Now, imagine this.
23:34You and I
23:35entering Stuart's party
23:37and all eyes turn
23:38to see America's
23:39most beloved
23:40and glamorous couple.
23:42Yeah?
23:43R2-D2 and C-3PO.
23:48Dibs on 3PO.
23:51Sheldon, when I said
23:52couple's costume,
23:53I meant, like,
23:54Romeo and Juliet
23:55or Cinderella and Prince Charming.
23:57Not two robots
23:58from some silly movie
23:59I don't even like.
24:00Okay.
24:05Now I'm gonna let that slide
24:06because I know you're
24:07hopped up on tea bags.
24:11I make compromises
24:12for you all the time.
24:13Just this once,
24:15can't we find something
24:16that we're both happy with?
24:18Fine.
24:19How about
24:21one of the most beguiling
24:22and influential couples
24:23of the 20th century?
24:25Hewlett and Packard.
24:29Dibs on Hewlett.
24:32What, you wanna be Hewlett?
24:35What if
24:36we were to go
24:37as dinner table favorites
24:38Salt and Pepper?
24:40You know salt
24:41makes me retain water
24:42and my cousin William
24:43was ground to death
24:44in a pepper factory accident.
24:48What about Raggedy Ann and Andy?
24:49I loved them growing up.
24:50No, I don't think so.
24:51Those dolls represent
24:52three things I do not care for.
24:54Clowns, children,
24:55and raggediness.
24:59I think it's a lost cause.
25:00No.
25:01There are certain things
25:03that say to the world
25:04I have a boyfriend
25:05and he's not made up.
25:07Matching costumes,
25:09hickeys, and sex tapes.
25:12Pick one.
25:15What's a hickey?
25:18Shelton, get in here.
25:31I should have picked hickey.
25:34Hey, look at you guys.
25:36I'm Raggedy Ann
25:37and he's Raggedy C-3PO.
25:40It was a compromise.
25:42I lost.
25:43Good, your power's out too.
25:45Why is that good?
25:46Because last month
25:47I sent the electric company
25:48a Starbucks gift card,
25:49an apology note,
25:50and a few snapshots
25:51of me in a bra.
25:54Power failure.
25:55Implementing power failure protocol.
25:58What happened to all your
25:59glow-in-the-dark
26:00emergency exit stuff
26:01you had painted on the floor?
26:03Oh, that was wildly carcinogenic.
26:05Anyway,
26:06too bad you're no longer entitled
26:08to the full benefits
26:09of my friendship
26:10because I happen to be
26:11extremely prepared
26:12for such an emergency.
26:14Please, try not to see
26:15anything by this light.
26:17It's not for you.
26:20It's just a blackout.
26:21I'm sure the power
26:22will be back on soon.
26:23And I'm sure some fool
26:24in the Donner party
26:25said the snow would
26:26stop any day now.
26:29I like to think
26:30they ate him first.
26:32Yeah, I got some candles
26:33in my apartment.
26:34Candles?
26:35During a blackout?
26:36Are you mad?
26:37That's a fire hazard.
26:38No, Pasadena Water and Power
26:39recommends the far safer
26:40glow stick.
26:43You call that a glow stick?
26:44What?
26:50That is a glow stick.
26:53Come on, let's go.
26:54Before you go,
26:55consider this.
26:56Not only do I have
26:57a deep cycle
26:58marine battery power source,
26:59which is more than capable
27:00of running our
27:01entertainment system,
27:02I also have all 61 episodes
27:04of the BBC series
27:05Red Dwarf.
27:07And Fiddle Faddle.
27:11All yours
27:12if you're willing
27:13to reinstate
27:14the roommate agreement.
27:15I've got wine
27:16at my place
27:17and some bubble wrap
27:18we could pop.
27:24He'll be back.
27:25Wine and a girl
27:26in the dark.
27:27He's going to be
27:28bored out of his mind.