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FunTranscript
00:00:00Sheldon, it's not a great time, what do you want?
00:00:11Hello to you too.
00:00:14I'm sorry, but this is important.
00:00:16What is it?
00:00:18Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
00:00:21And Back to the Future 3 was, get this, in the Back to the Future 2 case.
00:00:29So?
00:00:30So?
00:00:31Did you do that?
00:00:33Or am I in the house with an intruder?
00:00:35Sheldon, I gotta go inside, it's getting rough out here.
00:00:42You're dodging the question, I knew it was you.
00:00:49What was that?
00:00:50What was what?
00:00:51This isn't a very good connection, but it sounded like someone just released a Kraken.
00:00:57Okay, I'm hanging up now.
00:01:00You know there's no such thing as a Kraken.
00:01:05No!
00:01:08Penny, Penny, Penny.
00:01:13What's the matter?
00:01:15Um, well I was worried that you might be missing Leonard.
00:01:21And that might be causing you to have bad dreams.
00:01:25Like the kind you'd get if you watched Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
00:01:30Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
00:01:34To be honest, I did.
00:01:37Back to the Future 2 was in the Back to the Future 3 case.
00:01:41Leonard did it.
00:01:43Goodnight.
00:01:44No, wait.
00:01:46Perhaps I should sleep here, so you don't miss Leonard as much.
00:01:52Because you're being kind of a baby about it.
00:01:59You know what, that would make me feel better, thank you.
00:02:02You're welcome.
00:02:08Goodnight.
00:02:11I'm so glad you guys are friends again.
00:02:13And I'm glad you and I are friends again too.
00:02:16Aww.
00:02:17Which reminds me, this came in the mail and I want you to have it.
00:02:20Fifty cents off Vagisil.
00:02:25Think of me when you apply it.
00:02:30Can I just say, I've missed all of us hanging out together.
00:02:34Yeah.
00:02:35Me too.
00:02:36Um, since when can Cthulhu Pali talk in front of the girls without a beer?
00:02:40Oh, that happened right after you left.
00:02:42And no one told me?
00:02:44Can't believe we forgot to tell him.
00:02:49Think of Sheldon when you apply it.
00:02:54I think this is the first time we've ever actually been alone together.
00:02:57Oh.
00:02:59I guess you're right.
00:03:00I wonder why that is.
00:03:02Well, off the top of my head, I'd say we don't have a lot in common except for the people we're involved with.
00:03:07Plus, when we first met, Penny warned me never to get into a car alone with you.
00:03:13Yeah.
00:03:16You know, I bet you and I have more in common than we think.
00:03:20Such as?
00:03:22I don't know.
00:03:23Tell me some things you like.
00:03:25Uh, let's see.
00:03:26I like harps, Little House on the Prairie, medieval poetry, medieval literature.
00:03:31Hey, how about some music?
00:03:34Great.
00:03:35Sheldon never lets me listen to music in the car.
00:03:37He doesn't want to be mistaken for a gang member.
00:03:41Find something you like.
00:03:43Beatles.
00:03:44Boring.
00:03:45Eminem.
00:03:46Scary.
00:03:47Weird Al, how old are you?
00:03:52Neil Diamond.
00:03:53Yeah, I love Neil Diamond.
00:03:56I love Neil Diamond.
00:04:01I've reconsidered.
00:04:02You can't work where I work.
00:04:04Enjoy the rest of your evening.
00:04:06Sheldon, I already signed the contract.
00:04:09I cashed a check.
00:04:11You are not going to come out of this looking good.
00:04:15Sheldon, I don't understand.
00:04:16I thought you said you were fine with it.
00:04:17I was.
00:04:18But that was before Howard explained to me how awful it would be if he had to work with his significant other.
00:04:24He said what?
00:04:27Now, don't be insulted.
00:04:28He just thinks too much of you would be mind-numbingly tedious.
00:04:33Excuse me.
00:04:34I need to have a chat with my husband.
00:04:36Now, keep it short.
00:04:38From what I gather, brevity is your friend.
00:04:43So are we good here?
00:04:46Listen to me.
00:04:47Sheldon misunderstood.
00:04:48What I meant was if we work together, there'd be too much of me for you.
00:04:52Not the other way around.
00:04:54Howard, if you're going to lie to your wife, don't start the sentence with Sheldon misunderstood.
00:05:00That's a dead giveaway.
00:05:02Well?
00:05:03Okay, fine.
00:05:04I did say that, and I think it's true.
00:05:06If we worked together and lived together, we'd get sick of each other.
00:05:09Yeah, but to be fair, he only said the part about him getting sick of you.
00:05:12For the love of God, why?
00:05:18What exactly do you think you'd get sick of?
00:05:21There's only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.
00:05:26It's nothing in particular.
00:05:28Is it my voice?
00:05:29Am I too bossy?
00:05:32My arm is feeling numb.
00:05:36Nailed it.
00:05:39That's the wrong arm for a heart attack, doofus.
00:05:43Sheldon, I know you're in the zone, but do you want some tea?
00:05:50Howard, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but you haven't spoken in hours, and I'm starting to get worried.
00:05:55Please say something.
00:05:56Leonard, prepare to be humbled and weep at the glory of my genius.
00:06:02Nope, it was better before.
00:06:05Look at it.
00:06:07I feel like my mind just made a baby.
00:06:11And it's beautiful.
00:06:13It's not like human babies, which are loud and covered in goop.
00:06:18Holy crap, Sheldon, did you just figure out a method for synthesizing a new, stable, super-heavy element?
00:06:24Did I?
00:06:26Well, that can't be right.
00:06:28No one's ever done that before.
00:06:29Except me, because I just did it!
00:06:31Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:33Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:35Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:36Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:38Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:40Sheldon and his brain, yeah!
00:06:41Excuse me.
00:06:46Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?
00:06:52Oh, you're understandably terrified.
00:06:54You know, allow me to explain.
00:06:56Forty-five days ago, I embarked on a railroad journey of healing.
00:07:01Because when my university was making me do string theory, my favorite comic book store burned down.
00:07:07And when my roommate got engaged, my girlfriend wanted to move in with me.
00:07:11Which was no doubt a ploy just to see my, well excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts.
00:07:20Sir, may I use your phone?
00:07:22I don't think so.
00:07:24I understand that I'm half naked, but there is a reasonable explanation.
00:07:28While I slept in my sleeper car, all my possessions were stolen.
00:07:32Now, typically I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle.
00:07:39And pajamas are the sleep pants of the man.
00:07:45I'll have you know Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him.
00:07:50My good man, now before you walk away, I know that I may appear deranged, but I am in fact a world-renowned physicist.
00:07:57Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion.
00:08:00Go ahead, ask.
00:08:04Bosons have integer spin. Fermions have half-integer spin.
00:08:08My legs are getting cold. Why won't anybody help me?
00:08:12Next question, for the Butterfinger, how long is a galactic year?
00:08:17250 million years!
00:08:19Yes!
00:08:23Okay, this one is for a Cadbury cream egg.
00:08:27It's not even Easter time, this is crazy!
00:08:32Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 pentagonal faces, 60 vertices, and 120 edges?
00:08:43The rhombic-constant dodecahedron!
00:08:45Yes!
00:08:48We are so smart!
00:08:50Why didn't girls like us in high school?
00:08:52Because we were awkward and weird and couldn't play sports!
00:08:54Right again!
00:08:56The first pitch will be thrown out by NASA astronaut Howard Wolowitz.
00:09:04Thank you. Thank you.
00:09:07Can he really throw a ball?
00:09:09On our Quidditch team, he does.
00:09:10Yeah, that's a no.
00:09:12I have a message for the young people here today.
00:09:18When I was asked to throw the first pitch, a little voice in my head said I couldn't do it.
00:09:26So I practiced and practiced, and you know what?
00:09:31That little voice was right.
00:09:35But then I remembered that I'm not an athlete, I'm a scientist.
00:09:44So today's first pitch will be delivered to home plate by science.
00:09:50Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you a working prototype of the Mars rover!
00:10:04And here's the wind-up.
00:10:07And the pitch!
00:10:15Why is it going so slow?
00:10:18Because I'm an idiot who didn't think this through!
00:10:22Okay, new plan.
00:10:24We go to Disneyland, play hide-and-seek on Tom Sawyer's island,
00:10:28and then come back and see the end of the pitch.
00:10:45Okay, Boo, it isn't going to make it go any faster!
00:10:50Are there some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition?
00:10:54Kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store.
00:10:58You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride.
00:11:01Boo, what if you got a van and drove around and picked kids up?
00:11:10Nice!
00:11:14You mean like at parks and schools?
00:11:18Toy stores? Puppet shows?
00:11:21Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
00:11:29Yes.
00:11:33And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
00:11:39We are now!
00:11:40Hold on, pause.
00:11:42Something doesn't make sense.
00:11:44Look, in 2015, Biff steals the Sports Almanac and takes the time machine back to 1955 to give it to his younger self.
00:11:54But as soon as he does that, he changes the future!
00:11:57So the 2015 he returns to would be a different 2015, not the 2015 that Marty and Doc were in.
00:12:04This is hot tub time machine all over again.
00:12:08If future Biff goes back to 2015 right after he gives young Biff the Almanac, he could get back to the 2015 with Marty and Doc in it.
00:12:17Because it wasn't until his 21st birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet.
00:12:23Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is placed right?
00:12:25What do you mean?
00:12:26Is placed the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
00:12:35Had will have placed?
00:12:38That's my boy.
00:12:42Okay, so it wasn't until his 21st birthday that Biff had will have placed his first bet and made his millions.
00:12:48That's when he altered the timeline.
00:12:50But he had will haven't placed it.
00:12:56What?
00:12:58Unlike hot tub time machine, this couldn't be more simple.
00:13:02When Biff gets the Almanac in 1955, the alternate future he creates isn't the one in which Marty and Doc Brown ever used the time machine to travel to 2015.
00:13:11Therefore, in the new timeline, Marty and Doc never brought the time machine.
00:13:15Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:16Is brought right?
00:13:22Marty and Doc never had have had brought?
00:13:27I don't know. You did it to me.
00:13:32I'm going with it.
00:13:33Marty and Doc never had have had brought the time machine to 2015.
00:13:37That means 2015 Biff could also not had have had brought the Almanac to 1955 Biff.
00:13:44Therefore, the timeline in which 1955 Biff gets the Almanac is also the timeline in which 1955 Biff never gets the Almanac.
00:13:53And not just never gets.
00:13:54Never have, never hasn't, never had have hasn't.
00:14:02Is it right?
00:14:04What about the late fees on our credit card because somebody didn't pay the bill on time?
00:14:08Well, maybe I would have paid it if I wasn't also doing everything else around here.
00:14:12Oh, you're saying I don't do anything around here?
00:14:17Look at my torture.
00:14:20She made him a torture.
00:14:21I see it.
00:14:23Do the dishes. There's a star right there.
00:14:27That was a pity star. Putting water in the roasting pan and leaving it in the sink is not doing the dishes.
00:14:33That pan had to soak and you know it.
00:14:38Well, don't come crying to me when you don't get your allowance.
00:14:42It's not an allowance. It's a stipend.
00:14:44And we said we weren't going to call it an allowance in front of my friends.
00:14:49I usually don't like lemon bars, but these are really good.
00:14:56Oh, my God.
00:15:01Leonard, I was wrong. Heaven does exist.
00:15:05And it's in the basement of a urologist's house in Sherman Oaks.
00:15:11Welcome to my fortress of solitude.
00:15:14Welcome to my fortress of solitude.
00:15:18This is where I go to get away from all my other solitudes.
00:15:25Come on, it's a replica.
00:15:27Original.
00:15:28Oh, I think I just cheated on my wife.
00:15:34The gun from Hellboy.
00:15:36Yep.
00:15:37How did you get it?
00:15:38Bought it at auction.
00:15:39Oh, I was hoping for a juicy tidbit about Ron Perlman's testicles.
00:15:45Oliver, I'm going to play bingo.
00:15:48Okay, mother. Have fun.
00:15:50Still lives with his mom. Yikes, right?
00:15:55Yeah, I'm not quite sure how to respond.
00:15:59Wow, Donkey Kong. This was my game when I was a kid.
00:16:04Because it's a story of a pretty blonde girl tirelessly pursued by a small, oddly shaped man?
00:16:13No, because I liked it.
00:16:15Don't get defensive. You're oddly shaped, but you got the girl.
00:16:28Next game, let's switch helmets.
00:16:30No, I'd look silly in that helmet.
00:16:33Have either of you prepared your own vows?
00:16:35Yes.
00:16:36No.
00:16:39You wrote vows?
00:16:40Yeah.
00:16:42I don't have any. You're kind of making me look bad.
00:16:46It's okay. I don't have to say them.
00:16:48No, no, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy. You'll cry. We got this.
00:16:53Penny, we are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began.
00:16:59I like to think those atoms traveled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole.
00:17:09Wow.
00:17:12Penny?
00:17:14Right, um, okay.
00:17:20Leonard, you're not only the love of my life, you're my best friend.
00:17:24Best friend. And you've got a friend in me.
00:17:33You got troubles, I got them too.
00:17:39There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
00:17:43We stick together and we can see it through, because you've got a friend in me.
00:17:51Is that the song from Toy Story?
00:17:52He loves that movie.
00:17:53I do.
00:17:56I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun With Flags.
00:18:01You may notice that I'm holding a remote control.
00:18:04That's because my camera person and co-host, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, has chosen to end her relationship with me.
00:18:13I'm going to pause here to let that sink in.
00:18:23Okay. If you need to pause a little longer, just click the pause button.
00:18:28But the show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.
00:18:43Anyway, let's not spend any more time talking about her. We're here to talk about flags.
00:18:47Tonight's theme, flags of countries that have been torn apart, and the women I have a feeling were responsible.
00:18:56And then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, I don't think you understand how being broken up works.
00:19:03You believe that? You think that the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it had, given that it's not as young as it used to be?
00:19:09And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders.
00:19:14I'm going to kill him.
00:19:17But enough about the Czech Republic. Let's talk about the time Moldova made Romania a birthday cake.
00:19:23And Romania said it tasted good, even though it didn't. And yet, Romania gets dumped.
00:19:28I'll pause here while you mull that one over.
00:19:32I know, right?
00:19:35When did you learn how to change a tile?
00:19:37Every self-respecting gentleman should know how, in case he comes across a damsel in distress by the side of the road.
00:19:44If I see one scorpion, I am getting on someone's shoulders and never coming down.
00:19:49And there's your damsel.
00:19:53Wow, this one's really stuck.
00:19:56Are you turning it the right way?
00:19:58No. I took the other four off, and when I got to this one, I thought, no, I'm in a rut. Let's shake things up.
00:20:04Here, let me try.
00:20:06You're right. It doesn't turn the other way.
00:20:14All right. This rust, combined with the aluminum recovered from the van, is now thermite.
00:20:21All right. A couple pinches ought to do the trick.
00:20:25Is that enough to melt the lug nut?
00:20:27Well, let's start small. We can always add more.
00:20:29You put up a good fight, lug nut.
00:20:30But you've met your match.
00:20:52Hey, look, the lug nut's off.
00:20:54I just thought it was funny.
00:20:56Hey, look, the lug nut's off.
00:20:59I just need to ask you a few standard questions.
00:21:02Sure.
00:21:04It says here you're a chemist. Which element on the periodic table do you feel is too big for its britches?
00:21:12Is that supposed to be a joke?
00:21:14Looks like argon's not the only one with an attitude problem.
00:21:18In general, would you say that you smell better, worse, or the same as you do right now?
00:21:27I was going to ask you what is the best fruit.
00:21:30But then I realized what I want to ask you is why is there a Band-Aid on your forearm?
00:21:34But then I realized what I really want to ask you is can you just go?
00:21:41You're healthy. You have a job in the sciences.
00:21:43You're healthy. You have a job in the sciences.
00:21:46I've got to say, if this credit report comes back good, you're the frontrunner.
00:21:53Okay, show me on guard.
00:21:56Good. Knees bent. Swipe me over the toe.
00:21:59Non-sword hand up for balance.
00:22:02I am going to feel this tomorrow.
00:22:06The first move is called an advance.
00:22:09You move your front foot forward, heel to toe.
00:22:11Back foot follows.
00:22:13So, front foot forward, heel to toe.
00:22:16Back foot follows.
00:22:18Now you, Twy. Advance.
00:22:20And advance.
00:22:22And advance.
00:22:24This is easy. I didn't need to wear a cup.
00:22:27Good. This next move is called a retreat.
00:22:30Step back. Back foot first, toe to heel.
00:22:33Front foot follows.
00:22:35On three.
00:22:37Excuse me, Barry. When can I stab one of my friends?
00:22:41In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
00:22:44Yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into human resources.
00:22:49Okay, on three.
00:22:51Cooper and Kuthwapowee, advance. The other two, retreat.
00:22:55One, two, three.
00:22:57Very good. Switch it up.
00:22:59One, two, three.
00:23:01Switch again.
00:23:03One, two, three.
00:23:06Excuse me.
00:23:08Pretty bad.
00:23:11No, I'm teaching a class.
00:23:18Yeah. Okay.
00:23:20Okay. Yeah.
00:23:22Okay, thanks.
00:23:24And one, two, three.
00:23:26I was going to put the app on your phone.
00:23:28Yeah, Stuart got two dates with it.
00:23:30One of which would have ended in sex, had she not said no.
00:23:35Okay, all set.
00:23:37Let's see. Nope. Nope. Nope.
00:23:42Oh, he's cute.
00:23:44Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone?
00:23:49And he's sad about it.
00:23:52Hey. Hello.
00:23:54Amy, I thought you were going to be out late.
00:23:56If you wanted me to stay out later, you should have given me more spending money.
00:24:00What are you guys up to?
00:24:02We put Amy on a dating app and we're seeing what's out there.
00:24:04Oh, fun. Let me see.
00:24:06Uh, no.
00:24:08No.
00:24:10Definitely not.
00:24:12What was wrong with that guy?
00:24:14He's Indian. We've already got one of those.
00:24:17Ooh, we should find a nice Latino. Really round us out.
00:24:21I want to try.
00:24:23Excuse me. Can I have my phone back?
00:24:25Hang on. I'm trying to find you the next great love of your life.
00:24:27The man who will father your children.
00:24:29Okay. Yes or no on white guy with dreadlocks.
00:24:31No.
00:24:33Hey, kid.
00:24:36You look tired.
00:24:38Why don't you have an energy drink?
00:24:40Everyone's doing it.
00:24:43Oh, no. Thank you.
00:24:45Those have caffeine in them.
00:24:47Oh, sorry. I thought you were cool.
00:24:51I am cool.
00:24:53This is YooHoo.
00:24:55Chocolate milk's delicious watery cousins.
00:24:57Alright.
00:24:59But if you ever want to feel like you have superpowers,
00:25:01try one of these.
00:25:02Superheroes take performance enhancing chemicals?
00:25:05You bet.
00:25:07You know why Hulk is so strong?
00:25:09Steroids.
00:25:12You know why Batman wanders around at night getting into fights?
00:25:16Scotch.
00:25:20I am facing a great deal of work.
00:25:23And I do like things better when famous people also like them.
00:25:28Here.
00:25:29It's on the house.
00:25:32The first one's free?
00:25:34Flash, how do you stay in business?
00:25:37You want to know my secret?
00:25:39I bought stock in Marvel.
00:25:43I need to say something to someone pretty special.
00:25:48And I just can't wait any longer.
00:25:51What's happening?
00:25:53Leonard.
00:25:54What is happening?
00:25:56Leonard.
00:26:01You and I have our ups and downs.
00:26:04But I have always considered you my family.
00:26:08Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating like wrinkly old rabbits.
00:26:17I don't always show it.
00:26:20But you are of great importance to me.
00:26:24Both of you.
00:26:28Okay.
00:26:30I now pronounce you husband and wife.
00:26:34And weird other husband who came with the apartment.
00:26:39This is my friend Penny.
00:26:40Hi.
00:26:41Hey, come on in. I'm going to go turn on some rock music.
00:26:44That's a geology joke.
00:26:46Or it's a geologist.
00:26:48And a joker.
00:26:52How early are we?
00:26:54Oh, actually we're an hour late.
00:26:57I suddenly wish Sheldon was here.
00:27:06So should we talk to each other or mingle?
00:27:11I don't know where everyone is.
00:27:13Yeah, I mean I could see him eating one or two guests but not a whole party.
00:27:18Well, I guess this is kind of a bust.
00:27:21You don't have to stay.
00:27:22I'm going to start cleaning up.
00:27:24Okay.
00:27:26I feel so bad about leaving him here.
00:27:28That's funny. I was just thinking the same thing about you.
00:27:32Hey, listen.
00:27:34Can you not say anything about this to the people at the university?
00:27:37You know, because you're you and I'm me and it's kind of embarrassing.
00:27:42Wait, what do you mean she's her?
00:27:44Well, you know how Amy's the coolest girl on campus, right?
00:27:47No.
00:27:49Oh, yeah. Everybody thinks so.
00:27:51What? You tell me about your foot fungus but this is a secret?
00:27:57I'm sure it's just because I'm dating Sheldon.
00:28:00Actually, I think Sheldon's popular because he's dating you.
00:28:05Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?
00:28:08I'm the son of a gynecologist. I could be helpful.
00:28:11It would help if you stopped telling me I have a textbook cervix.
00:28:16The polite response is thank you for noticing.
00:28:21Let me see the sonogram again.
00:28:23Oh, yeah. That's a good looking baby for a little grey blob.
00:28:27Yeah, we can name him Blobbert.
00:28:30What if it's a girl?
00:28:32Blobberta.
00:28:34Or blobby with an I.
00:28:37Are we being silly not finding out the sex?
00:28:40I was just thinking the same thing.
00:28:42If you want, you can find out right now.
00:28:45The doctor's gone for the day so it doesn't matter.
00:28:47Or somebody else knows because they saw it in the folder.
00:28:50You looked in our folder?
00:28:52It was an accident. The doctor left the folder out on a desk.
00:28:55It's not my fault I opened it and looked.
00:28:59So you know the sex of our baby and we don't?
00:29:03Flip a coin. You got a 50-50 shot.
00:29:07Unbelievable.
00:29:09But this is not a problem, okay?
00:29:11If you don't want to know, I don't have to tell you.
00:29:13We don't want you to know.
00:29:14Okay, well, that's a problem.
00:29:17Which side of the bed would you prefer?
00:29:19Doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
00:29:21No, no. We're living together now. Everything's equal.
00:29:24I know that I have a tendency to be controlling so I would rather you choose.
00:29:28Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that.
00:29:30But these things mean more to you than they do to me.
00:29:32So whatever you want.
00:29:34Well, clearly it's not whatever I want
00:29:36because what I want is for you to make this decision
00:29:38and you refuse to do that.
00:29:40Well, I'm not refusing. I'm just trying to be considerate.
00:29:42Like when you let me get those shoes with the wheels on the bottom
00:29:45and then watched me roll right into traffic?
00:29:47Sheldon, will you please just pick a side?
00:29:49Fine.
00:29:57Now, on this side, I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
00:30:02Great. That's your side.
00:30:04No, but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
00:30:07Okay. I'll take that side.
00:30:09Ah, then again, what are the odds of someone attacking me?
00:30:11Rising rapidly.
00:30:16Now, this side offers me proximity to the bathroom
00:30:20but I am closer to the window where perverts can watch me sleep.
00:30:25Okay. What if we do this?
00:30:31I suppose that works.
00:30:33Great.
00:30:35Although now I'm kind of worried
00:30:37someone's hiding behind those drapes.
00:30:39I am willing to forego the bathroom schedule.
00:30:43Really?
00:30:45Why does she get that? We never got that.
00:30:47Do you want him back?
00:30:49I'm very happy for you.
00:30:52Amy, you should know,
00:30:54I was never really interested in seeing other women
00:30:57and to prove that to you,
00:30:59I'm going to have to go back to the bathroom.
00:31:01I was never really interested in seeing other women
00:31:03and to prove how serious I am about us,
00:31:06I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level.
00:31:12Amy Fairfowler,
00:31:14will you share this toothbrush holder with me?
00:31:19I would love to.
00:31:27Did we really need to be here for this?
00:31:31Call me crazy, but I found it moving.
00:31:36Until Amy's apartment is fixed,
00:31:38she and I are living here together.
00:31:40I lived with my old girlfriend.
00:31:42She was a geologist too.
00:31:44Things didn't work out?
00:31:46I came home from work one day and she had taken everything.
00:31:49I'm warning you,
00:31:51hide your good rocks.
00:31:54My sister's husband took all her things too.
00:31:57Story at 11.
00:32:01Really, no one else is coming?
00:32:05This is it.
00:32:07You are the practice round.
00:32:09Practice round? For what?
00:32:11No, he just means that you were the first people we thought of.
00:32:14No, exactly.
00:32:16We've never thrown a brunch before
00:32:18and I wanted to work out all the kinks.
00:32:20So, I'm like a lab rat
00:32:22before your real friends come over?
00:32:26Hmm.
00:32:28You see, your words sound reasonable,
00:32:29but your face looks angry.
00:32:32Help me out here.
00:32:34This is not where I shine.
00:32:36Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people.
00:32:39Okay, now see, you look sincere,
00:32:41but your words are completely false.
00:32:43Now we do this test run.
00:32:45These brunches are wild.
00:32:51Hello, Leonard.
00:32:53I was going to write you an email,
00:32:55but I'm a little drunk
00:32:56and spelling is a sober person's game.
00:33:02I feel I owe you a splenation.
00:33:06I'm sorry.
00:33:08A splenation.
00:33:11Penny? Penny? Penny?
00:33:14Sheldon, go away.
00:33:16I'm making a video.
00:33:18I'm sorry, I'll come back when you're alone.
00:33:21No, no, no, I am alone.
00:33:23I'm just telling Leonard why I broke up with him.
00:33:25Oh, he knows.
00:33:27The video I want to see
00:33:29is why you went out with him in the first place.
00:33:32I went out with him because he's great.
00:33:34If I kept going out with him,
00:33:36I probably would have married him,
00:33:38and it's a little scary
00:33:40because I just don't think I'm ready for that.
00:33:42You know, plus I have got to learn
00:33:44how to spell Hofstetter.
00:33:46I know there's a D in there,
00:33:48but it keeps moving every time I try and write it.
00:33:52Sheldon, I'm sorry.
00:33:54Sheldon, what do I do?
00:33:56Try to pass out face down
00:33:58so you don't choke on your vomit.
00:34:01I am not going to pass out.
00:34:04But thank you anyway.
00:34:11Wow.
00:34:13I know.
00:34:15There's like two more hours of her just lying there.
00:34:19Oh, you love me so much.
00:34:22I married you, jackass.
00:34:24I know.
00:34:26And not just out of pity
00:34:28like everyone said at her wedding toast.
00:34:30You want to see the part
00:34:32where she falls off the chair?
00:34:34Totally.
00:34:42Dr. Zane, Dr. Harris,
00:34:44this is my fiancé, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
00:34:46That's the first time I've said that
00:34:48and it kind of gave me the goosebumps.
00:34:50Dr. Cooper,
00:34:52we are so excited to meet you.
00:34:54Oh, that's very kind of you.
00:34:56If you'd like,
00:34:58I could autograph your menus after dinner,
00:35:00but I'd better not see those on eBay.
00:35:02No, no, no.
00:35:04We're just excited to meet the man
00:35:06who landed this brilliant woman here.
00:35:08Oh, that wasn't hard.
00:35:10She threw herself at me.
00:35:12Now, getting the universe
00:35:14to show me its naughty bits,
00:35:16that took some doing.
00:35:18Sheldon's a physicist.
00:35:20Oh, that's nice.
00:35:25Amy, I recently read your paper
00:35:27on lesions in the olfactory receptors
00:35:29in the brain.
00:35:31It was inspired.
00:35:33I guess it didn't stink.
00:35:35But if it did, that rat wouldn't have known it.
00:35:37I'm sorry.
00:35:39I'm sure you don't want to sit here
00:35:41and listen to a bunch of work talk.
00:35:43Oh, no, I love it.
00:35:45Yeah, but let's talk about work.
00:35:47Actually, I do have a question for Dr. Cooper.
00:35:49When Amy first told you
00:35:51about her approach to synaptic tracing,
00:35:53did you think it was going
00:35:55to revolutionize the field?
00:35:57Uh, really?
00:35:59That's your question?
00:36:01What are you, entertainment tonight?
00:36:03You know what?
00:36:05I'm going to give you a better question.
00:36:07Here, um, Dr. Cooper,
00:36:09I heard you were working on a top-secret project
00:36:11for the U.S. military.
00:36:13Why don't you tell us about that?
00:36:15See, that's a great question.
00:36:17I can't tell you.
00:36:19That is top secret.
00:36:21Hi, you wanted to see me?
00:36:23Yes, I wanted to talk to you
00:36:25about the email you sent me last night.
00:36:27I sent you an email?
00:36:29You bet you did.
00:36:31Hello.
00:36:33Shalom and aloha
00:36:35from the grave of Richard Feynman.
00:36:37Oh, it's coming back to me.
00:36:39Please accept the following retraction.
00:36:42I know I said physics is dead,
00:36:44but it is the opposite of dead.
00:36:45If anything, it is undead,
00:36:47like a zombie.
00:36:50Speaking of which,
00:36:52if Richard Feynman came back as a zombie,
00:36:54I would totally let him bite me.
00:36:58Any chance that's the end?
00:37:00I got bit by a squirrel once.
00:37:04I had to get rabies shots.
00:37:06I cried so much.
00:37:08My mother said,
00:37:10don't be a baby.
00:37:12In conclusion, physics is great,
00:37:13squirrels suck,
00:37:15and someday I'm gonna put my mom
00:37:17in a cheap nursing home.
00:37:20Yours truly, XOXO,
00:37:22Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
00:37:24I can explain.
00:37:26P.S.
00:37:28Can you come pick us up?
00:37:30The Uber driver won't open the door
00:37:32because Sheldon is covered in blue vomit.
00:37:36Oh, I don't care.
00:37:38You know me.
00:37:40I just go with the flow.
00:37:44Beach, public pool,
00:37:46they both sound awesome.
00:37:50On second thought,
00:37:52beach.
00:37:54I'd like to befriend a seagull.
00:37:57That is crazy.
00:37:59Yeah, will you email that to me?
00:38:02Have you played this for him?
00:38:04No, I'm worried he'll say
00:38:06I violated his privacy.
00:38:08Listen to how happy he sounds.
00:38:10I'm up for anything,
00:38:11as long as I'm with you.
00:38:15What are you listening to?
00:38:17Nothing.
00:38:18Oh, come on, I wanna hear.
00:38:21We don't need GPS.
00:38:24Let's just see where the road takes us.
00:38:28I see why you turned it off.
00:38:30That guy sounds like an idiot.
00:38:32Honey, that's you.
00:38:34Don't be silly.
00:38:36My voice is deep and sonorous,
00:38:38like a Caucasian James Earl Jones.
00:38:42Luke, I am your father, see?
00:38:45It is you.
00:38:47I recorded you in your sleep.
00:38:49Oh, look, a hitchhiker.
00:38:52I bet he has some interesting stories.
00:38:56That's me?
00:38:58It's you.
00:39:00So you spied on me in my sleep?
00:39:02Sheldon, I'm sorry.
00:39:04You've been doing this every night.
00:39:06I couldn't help but wonder if it meant something.
00:39:08Well, it doesn't.
00:39:09I mean, the prefrontal cortex
00:39:11regulates impulse control,
00:39:13so it's plausible that when we're asleep,
00:39:15aspects of our personality that we repress
00:39:17might come out.
00:39:19Don't try to put science lipstick
00:39:21on your new age pig.
00:39:23And for the record,
00:39:25you make noises when you sleep,
00:39:27and I've never accused you of repressing
00:39:29your inner chainsaw.
00:39:32If you want me to object at your wedding,
00:39:34just give me one of these.
00:39:37I just wish I could make Howard
00:39:39jealous of me.
00:39:42Well, maybe you could do something he likes
00:39:44and make him jealous.
00:39:46Like what?
00:39:48Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
00:39:50No.
00:39:52Chores. He likes chores.
00:39:54Ooh.
00:39:56What kind of chores?
00:39:58Well, you could change the batteries
00:40:00in the smoke detectors.
00:40:02That would drive him crazy.
00:40:04That's great.
00:40:06Oh, he'll be so mad,
00:40:07he'll bite the back of his ears.
00:40:09Yeah, then the smoke detectors will detect it.
00:40:12Wait, hold on.
00:40:14Why'd you ask me about Tom Sawyer?
00:40:16I'm just interested in you.
00:40:18What?
00:40:20You are sweeter than your applesauce.
00:40:25Okay.
00:40:27I put new batteries in the smoke detectors.
00:40:29Did you do the laundry?
00:40:31I sure did.
00:40:33Ooh, he's gonna be steamed.
00:40:35Just like his dress shirts.
00:40:37At least he could still clean the oven,
00:40:39so that's something.
00:40:41That's what he thinks.
00:40:43Where's your steel wool?
00:40:45Right here.
00:40:47We make quite the team.
00:40:49Sure do.
00:40:51Okay, you ready?
00:40:53Almost. I'm working on my facial expressions.
00:40:55See, I've got interested.
00:40:57Hmm.
00:40:59I've got very interested.
00:41:01Hmm.
00:41:03Enraged.
00:41:05Why would you be enraged?
00:41:07I'd rather be interested than to need it
00:41:09and not have it.
00:41:11Okay.
00:41:14And rolling.
00:41:16Hello, I am theoretical physicist
00:41:18Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
00:41:20auditioning for the role of Professor Proton.
00:41:22Now, excuse me while I get into character.
00:41:27Hello, I am Professor Proton.
00:41:31And today, boys and girls,
00:41:33we're going to have fun with science.
00:41:35Did you know you could calculate
00:41:37life-threatening items?
00:41:39It's true.
00:41:41All you'll need is a pencil, some paper,
00:41:43dry ice, rubbing alcohol,
00:41:45and a spool of 50-micron-thick
00:41:47cobalt-60 wire.
00:41:49And remember,
00:41:51don't put it in your mouth,
00:41:53or instead of becoming a scientist,
00:41:55you'll become wildly radioactive.
00:41:57Hang on, I have a question.
00:41:59Do you have any experiments
00:42:01that aren't life-threatening?
00:42:03Come on.
00:42:05That was a perfect take,
00:42:08Oh, boy.
00:42:10What?
00:42:12They cast the new Professor Proton.
00:42:14Is it Sheldon?
00:42:16Not exactly.
00:42:18It's Wil Wheaton.
00:42:22I don't get how you can enjoy cricket.
00:42:24It makes no sense.
00:42:26Did you just come here to complain?
00:42:28Yeah, that's the sport of my people.
00:42:31Oh, that's Ravi Chandran Ashwin.
00:42:33He's amazing.
00:42:35He makes Hardik Pandya look like
00:42:37he's from a different planet.
00:42:39Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:42:41Save some syllables for the rest of us.
00:42:43Hey,
00:42:45I think that's Bernadette's friend over there.
00:42:47Oh, yeah.
00:42:49Hey, Ruchi.
00:42:51I hope this isn't awkward.
00:42:53The last time we met,
00:42:55I kind of embarrassed myself.
00:42:57Let's see if you can go two for two.
00:42:59Hey, guys.
00:43:01Are you here by yourself?
00:43:03Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
00:43:05to come watch cricket with me.
00:43:07You're more than welcome to join us
00:43:09if you'd like.
00:43:11Thanks.
00:43:13Bowl on his leg.
00:43:15What'd she say?
00:43:17Bowl on his leg.
00:43:20Wow, that clears that up.
00:43:23She's telling the bowler to bowl a yorker.
00:43:26It's the most brutal ball in cricket.
00:43:28I was at the match
00:43:30when Shoaib bowled back-to-back yorkers.
00:43:32Well, I was there too.
00:43:34What a coincidence.
00:43:35There were 120,000 people at that match, so...
00:43:37Yeah, India, right?
00:43:39Everywhere you go,
00:43:41there's like 120,000 people.
00:43:43So what do you think
00:43:45about chances at the World Cup?
00:43:47Oh, World Cup.
00:43:49You know, it'll all depend
00:43:51if Kohli's batting in form.
00:43:53I know.
00:43:55It doesn't even matter
00:43:57how many all-rounders you have.
00:43:59Isn't that the truth?
00:44:01You know, I was the best leg spinner
00:44:03in my high school.
00:44:05He didn't talk to us for a month.
00:44:07So do it.
00:44:09Hold on. Where is he?
00:44:11According to his text,
00:44:13he was on the second floor,
00:44:15then he stopped to tie his shoe.
00:44:18All tied, and...
00:44:20Hello.
00:44:22Hi.
00:44:24Sorry we're late.
00:44:26Amy took forever tying my shoe.
00:44:28All right.
00:44:30Who's excited to see a documentary?
00:44:32Oh, I know this one.
00:44:33Hey, this one's going to be great.
00:44:35This is about the rivalry
00:44:37between a cool renegade scientist,
00:44:39Nikola Tesla,
00:44:41and his arch-nemesis, Thomas Edison.
00:44:43It's the greatest scientific feud of all time.
00:44:45I mean, you can forget about Leibniz and Newton.
00:44:47Done.
00:44:49So Tesla's the one
00:44:51that invented the electric car?
00:44:53No, Penny, no.
00:44:55The car is just named after him.
00:44:57Okay, you don't have to be
00:44:59so smug about it.
00:45:01You know, you went to see the movie
00:45:03and you saw the car.
00:45:05Tesla was a genius
00:45:07who invented our electrical grid.
00:45:09Edison just wanted to get rich and famous.
00:45:11Didn't he invent the light bulb?
00:45:13That's what he wants you to think.
00:45:15But without the foundational work
00:45:17of Ebenezer Kennersley, Warren De La Rue,
00:45:19and James Bowman Lindsay,
00:45:21you wouldn't know Edison any more
00:45:23than you know Ebenezer Kennersley,
00:45:25Warren De La Rue, or James Bowman Lindsay.
00:45:27Isn't he sexy all fired up?
00:45:29He really gets my current alternating,
00:45:31if you know what I mean.
00:45:33Electricity hog and a bully.
00:45:35Yeah, he electrocuted an elephant named Topsy
00:45:37just to make himself famous.
00:45:39If I had an elephant named Topsy,
00:45:41he would want for nothing.
00:45:43Also, he'd be named Jumbo.
00:45:45And worse than that,
00:45:47Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss,
00:45:49so he's basically a pornographer.
00:45:52Although every time I put that in Wikipedia,
00:45:54someone takes it out.
00:45:58Is your current still alternating?
00:46:00We're lucky there aren't any elephants in here.
00:46:04Want to grab some lunch?
00:46:06You know what?
00:46:08I don't think so.
00:46:10Well, let me guess.
00:46:12You're not eating because the mean girl
00:46:14circled your chubby bits in marker.
00:46:16No, that.
00:46:18That right there.
00:46:20That's the reason.
00:46:22You're always making fun of me.
00:46:24Those are just jokes.
00:46:26It's my way of saying that we're friends
00:46:28and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.
00:46:30See?
00:46:31That's my confidence.
00:46:33Come on.
00:46:35You can't blame that on me.
00:46:37Why not?
00:46:39Fifteen years of constant ridicule.
00:46:41I think our relationship has become toxic.
00:46:43What are you saying?
00:46:45I think you and I need to spend
00:46:47some time away from each other.
00:46:50Look, I...
00:46:52I can see you're upset,
00:46:54but I'm gonna need some ground rules.
00:46:57While we're apart,
00:46:59can I see other needy Indian men?
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:03On today's episode,
00:47:05we're gonna start with some viewer emails.
00:47:07Oh, take off your glasses
00:47:09so people can't see your password in the reflection.
00:47:11Uh, sure.
00:47:13Okay, our first email is...
00:47:15from, uh, Brad.
00:47:17Or...
00:47:19Bryant? I don't know, maybe it's Seth?
00:47:21All right, put him back on.
00:47:23Oh.
00:47:25Oh my gosh, it's from Fermilab in Chicago.
00:47:28Ah, not surprising.
00:47:29It's from Flagtown.
00:47:31No, no, it's about our paper.
00:47:34A team of physicists
00:47:36confirmed super asymmetry.
00:47:38Our paper was right.
00:47:40We did it.
00:47:42We did it?
00:47:44We did it.
00:47:46We did it?
00:47:48We did it!
00:47:50We did it!
00:47:52We did it!
00:47:55Aw, remember when they only did it on her birthday?
00:47:59Oh, it's freezing out here.
00:48:01Do you like me to heat things up?
00:48:04No, I want to get in the hot tub before I lose a toe.
00:48:08Oh, that is bright.
00:48:10Yeah, a new neighbor put in floodlights.
00:48:13So, shall we?
00:48:16No, I don't want to take my robe off under a spotlight.
00:48:20This is a candle body.
00:48:22Howdy, neighbors.
00:48:24We haven't met yet. I'm Andy.
00:48:26Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.
00:48:28Your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence.
00:48:31You might want to put up some trees.
00:48:33We can see everything.
00:48:35You can, but it's okay if you don't.
00:48:40So, can you turn your lights off?
00:48:42Sorry, they're motion censored.
00:48:44They'll go off in a minute.
00:48:46Just try to stay still.
00:48:48What are we going to do about this?
00:48:50I say we wait until his lights go off,
00:48:53and then I make hot, motionless love to you.
00:48:55Hot, motionless love to you.
00:49:01Don't move. It's go time.
00:49:05Where's Raj?
00:49:07He's working with Bert.
00:49:09They're probably cutting their stupid meteorite open
00:49:11with their stupid diamond saw.
00:49:13Are you okay?
00:49:15Yeah, I'm just a little run down.
00:49:17It might be a head cold.
00:49:21Purell?
00:49:22Purell?
00:49:25Purell?
00:49:27Purell?
00:49:29Purell?
00:49:33Can I top anybody off?
00:49:38Why don't you go to bed?
00:49:40I'll run out and get you some medicine.
00:49:42It's okay. Stuart gave me some
00:49:44when I was at the comic book store.
00:49:46Really? You're taking medicine from Stuart?
00:49:48Doesn't he need, like, all of it?
00:49:50He's got plenty.
00:49:52His pill caddy is, like, this big.
00:49:54All right, well, why don't you go to bed?
00:49:56I'll sleep out here on the couch.
00:49:58No, no, no. You take the bed. I'll stay out here.
00:50:00Even better. Sweet dreams, snotbag.
00:50:02I can't believe they're going to cut that
00:50:04with this punk-ass diamond saw.
00:50:12Jeez.
00:50:20Leonard, what are you doing?
00:50:22Showing you that this is the better way.
00:50:24Stop.
00:50:26Whatever's inside there is dangerous.
00:50:33Oh.
00:50:35And pretty.
00:50:40What is that?
00:50:42Ah!
00:50:44Are you okay?
00:50:46Yeah, I'm fine.
00:50:47I'm just feeling a little...
00:50:55Hungry.
00:50:57No!
00:50:59Stop eating butt!
00:51:03Keep eating butt!
00:51:08Leonard. Leonard!
00:51:10What? What?
00:51:12You're having a bad dream.
00:51:14Oh, thank God.
00:51:15I was eating my friends.
00:51:17Well, one friend and one acquaintance.
00:51:19You know what? It's okay. Two friends.
00:51:22Let me see if you're running a fever.
00:51:24Yeah.
00:51:26Oh, yeah. You're burning up.
00:51:30Ah!
00:51:32Jeez!
00:51:34Are you okay?
00:51:36It depends. What color are my eyes?
00:51:38I don't know. Brown? No, green.
00:51:40No, wait. Brown.
00:51:42Oh, good. I'm awake.
00:51:45Hello, baby. Are you having a pleasant day?
00:51:47Oh, my God.
00:51:49This is my entire childhood.
00:51:52Leonard. Leonard.
00:51:54You're chaining my data.
00:51:56It's like word for word.
00:51:58How much time is left?
00:52:0035 seconds.
00:52:02Oh, really? He's not reacting at all.
00:52:04Sheldon, he's a baby.
00:52:06That's not how you talk to him, okay?
00:52:08Just watch.
00:52:10Hey, Hallie.
00:52:12Who's your favorite uncle?
00:52:13Uncle Coop.
00:52:16I got a dud. Let's switch.
00:52:19Keep trying. It's for science.
00:52:21Is that all it was to her? Just an experiment?
00:52:24Michael. Michael. You're making me look bad.
00:52:27Interact with me.
00:52:29He grabbed my finger.
00:52:31Oh, he's smiling. I'm doing it.
00:52:33That's time.
00:52:35Oh, really? Can we do one more?
00:52:37I think these guys need to get some food.
00:52:39By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we designed?
00:52:42No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in.
00:52:47Although, Sheldon, maybe it could be an experiment.
00:52:50Are you suggesting we color-code their food so we can examine their diapers later?
00:52:56Sure.
00:52:58These diapers are going to be full of data.
00:53:03I never thought I would see Sheldon enjoying himself around babies so much.
00:53:08Yeah, how about that?
00:53:09So, he just happened to stumble upon a book about experimenting with them
00:53:14the same day we were hanging out with Howard's kids?
00:53:18Yep, don't overthink it.
00:53:23Oh my god, at sleep-away camp, my cabin was called Control Group.
00:53:28And the absence of side effects means that inflaminex can be taken in conjunction with other medications.
00:53:33It's a brand new day.
00:53:35Such a good tagline. I forgot who it was.
00:53:37You did.
00:53:38That's right I did!
00:53:41Okay, I know it's late, I've been working you guys really hard, so I have a little treat for you.
00:53:45We get to go home?
00:53:47No, you get to stay here and get vitamin B12 shots.
00:53:51Oh my god, you guys are still here?
00:53:54We're happy to be here. It's a brand new day.
00:53:57It's 12.15, it's literally a brand new day.
00:54:02Everybody go home.
00:54:04Everybody go home.
00:54:07Alright, fine, go, get out of here. Go on.
00:54:11I think things are going pretty good.
00:54:14Are you aware that Dave's in the break room crying?
00:54:16Yeah, I told him if he's going to be a crybaby, go to the break room.
00:54:19I just really want to be prepared for this conference.
00:54:22You're going to do great.
00:54:23You really think so?
00:54:24Of course, they're scared of you, you're scared of me, the system works.
00:54:28Hi, I got you a surprise.
00:54:30Oh, what's the occasion?
00:54:33I heard you tell Hallie that story the other night,
00:54:36and I thought it was so sweet that Stuart and I turned it into a book.
00:54:41The Frightened Little Astronaut?
00:54:45That looks just like you.
00:54:49Look how tiny and scared you look.
00:54:52And the best part is, Stuart showed it to a publisher friend of his,
00:54:56and they're interested in it.
00:54:58That is so cool.
00:55:00Absolutely not.
00:55:01Why?
00:55:03Because I don't want the whole world to know I was the Frightened Little Astronaut.
00:55:10Maybe you should have called it the Bitchy Little Astronaut.
00:55:17Once upon a time, there was a little astronaut who was sitting in a rocket waiting to go to space.
00:55:24And while all the other astronauts laughed and joked,
00:55:28he stayed quiet because he had a secret.
00:55:31He was scared.
00:55:33He had another secret, too.
00:55:35He was only pretending to be scared when Trent the Alien came.
00:55:41Owie.
00:55:44Fine. There was no alien.
00:55:49There was a bossy wife, though. We'll get to her later.
00:55:53Hey, good news. They're inviting several Nobel laureates to our reception.
00:55:57Oh, great. Like who?
00:55:59Uh, Makoto Kobayashi.
00:56:01Ooh.
00:56:04What?
00:56:06I may have been less than kind to him about his Nobel Prize win.
00:56:09Why?
00:56:11I was jealous, angry, and new to Twitter. It was a dangerous combination.
00:56:15Okay, so Scratch Kobayashi.
00:56:18Uh, George Smoot's on here.
00:56:20Ugh.
00:56:22We have a history.
00:56:25Soul Perlmutter?
00:56:27Ugh.
00:56:29What about Kip Thorne?
00:56:31That was a misunderstanding. I didn't know he was right behind me.
00:56:37So you've alienated everyone we need to help us?
00:56:40Well, Amy, if I'd known that someday we need them, I would never have insulted them.
00:56:45Well, that doesn't make it better.
00:56:47Oh. Well, it's also not true.
00:56:51It's for the Nobel laureates. We need them on our side.
00:56:55But unfortunately, Sheldon...
00:56:56No, unfortunately, Sheldon, that's all you gotta say.
00:57:00Well, so you need these people's support and you're sending them baked goods?
00:57:04Yeah, they're pretty smart. Don't you think they're gonna realize it's just a bribe?
00:57:07I could think, but sometimes brilliant people can be painfully oblivious to social cues.
00:57:15Thank you for pointing that out, Sheldon.
00:57:19Anytime.
00:57:26Sheldon Cooper?
00:57:33Sheldon Cooper?
00:57:35Pass.
00:57:38Sheldon Cooper.
00:57:40Aww.
00:57:42Ugh, oatmeal raisin.
00:57:49Oh, it's from Soul Perlmutter.
00:57:52He sent me a picture.
00:57:54Oh, let me see.
00:57:56He changed the cookies to spell out thank you.
00:58:01Sheldon, that word isn't thank.
00:58:04It's gotta be them.
00:58:06Hey, put it on speaker.
00:58:08Hello? Hi.
00:58:10Well, this is Sweden calling.
00:58:14Is this Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler?
00:58:16Yes.
00:58:18Congratulations. It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize in being suckers!
00:58:27His Swedish accent was very convincing.
00:58:31Oh, this is it!
00:58:34What do you want, Howard?
00:58:36We were just calling to see if you'd heard yet.
00:58:38We haven't.
00:58:40But thank you for getting up so early to call. That was very thoughtful.
00:58:43Oh, please. We have two little kids. We've been up for an hour.
00:58:46Did anyone get to slap Sheldon?
00:58:48No.
00:58:50Alright, well call us when you hear.
00:58:52Right. Now what?
00:58:54Oh, why don't we play a game to pass the time?
00:58:57Here, I'm thinking of a number. Hint, it's a cube of a cube of a prime.
00:59:02There's an infinite number of possibilities.
00:59:04What, you got somewhere to be?
00:59:07Oh, that's me.
00:59:10Hello?
00:59:12Yes, this is Dr. Fowler.
00:59:16I see.
00:59:18Okay, thank you.
00:59:20Okay, thank you.
00:59:25We won.
00:59:34Congratulations!
00:59:36Oh my god, we did it!
00:59:38I know. Can you believe it?
00:59:41That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming?
00:59:49We won the Nobel Prize!