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00:00The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.
00:17So settle back in your easy chairs and enjoy another delightful half-hour with all the
00:21Nelsons.
00:22Ozzie Nelson, of course, plays the part of the head of the Nelson household, Ozzie.
00:26And here is his lovely wife, Harriet Nelson, who keeps the family on an even keel.
00:31Hello, Harriet.
00:32The smiling young teenager we now see is David Nelson, older of the two Nelson boys and played
00:38by David Nelson.
00:39And here we have the youngest of the Nelsons, the little guy with a twinkle in his eye,
00:44Ricky Nelson, played by Ricky Nelson.
00:47The Nelsons' next door neighbor, Mr. Thornberry, better known as Ozzie's pal, Thorny, is played
00:52by Don DeFore.
01:26Anything exciting happen downtown today?
01:32Hmm?
01:33Oh, I'm sorry, dear, what did you say?
01:36I said, what happened downtown today?
01:39Oh, nothing exciting.
01:41The same old stuff.
01:44Who'd you have lunch with?
01:47Oh, lunch?
01:49Oh, yeah, I had lunch.
01:51Now, I say, who'd you have lunch with?
01:55Oh, oh, lunch.
01:56I had, uh, I had lunch with Herb Dunkel.
02:03Eat at the Ox Club?
02:05Hmm?
02:06Uh, no.
02:09Where did you eat?
02:12Uh, we ate at the Emporium in the grill room.
02:21Who did you say you ate with?
02:25I said, I ate with Herb Dunkel.
02:27We ate down at the Emporium in the grill room.
02:29I had scrambled eggs and muffins for lunch.
02:32The muffins were burned.
02:34I rode home on the bus with Joe Randolph, and he had a sore thumb.
02:37Questions, questions.
02:39What is this, a third degree, Harriet?
02:41Well, I should think you'd be happy to see I take an interest in such things.
02:45Stop being so grouchy.
02:49I'll get it, so it's probably for you.
02:57Hello?
02:58Hi, Harriet.
02:59It's Barbara.
03:00Oh, hello, Barbara.
03:01Say, we had such a good time at your luncheon today.
03:04Oh, I was so glad you could come.
03:06It was such fun to see all the old crowd again.
03:09Yeah, it was fun, wasn't it?
03:11It's a shame Betty Randolph couldn't make it.
03:13I guess she was about the only one missing.
03:15Yeah, that's right.
03:16Betty wasn't there, was she?
03:17How come?
03:18I guess she was a little upset about things.
03:20What sort of things?
03:22Oh, hadn't you heard?
03:23Joe and Betty have separated.
03:25Joe and Betty Randolph?
03:27Well, that's awful.
03:28Isn't it, though?
03:29What happened?
03:30Well, it seems that Betty found a picture of some girl in Joe's wallet,
03:33a very curvaceous blonde in a bikini bathing suit.
03:36Oh, goodness sakes.
03:37How about that?
03:38He tried to tell her it was his grandmother.
03:42Well, it's funny.
03:43Ozzie met Joe downtown today, but he didn't say anything about that.
03:46What, was Ozzie downtown today?
03:47Then he must have seen the big fire at the Emporium Grill.
03:51At the Emporium Grill?
03:53Well, Ozzie and Herb had lunch there, but he didn't say anything about a fire.
03:56Oh, did Ozzie have lunch with Herb?
03:58How's his broken arm?
04:00Whose broken arm?
04:01Herb Dunkel's.
04:02Didn't you know he broke his arm?
04:04No, Ozzie didn't say anything about that either.
04:07Well, that is strange.
04:09Well, I have to be going, dear.
04:10All right, Barb.
04:11Thanks for telling me all the news.
04:13You're welcome.
04:14And Harriet?
04:16Yes?
04:17Don't forget you heard it here first.
04:20All right, Barb.
04:21Goodbye.
04:27Stop reading the paper.
04:28That was Barbara.
04:30Are you sure nothing interesting happened today downtown?
04:33Well, yes, I told you what happened.
04:36How about the fire at the Emporium?
04:38Oh, all that.
04:40Well, I told you the corn muffins got burned.
04:45It wasn't much of a fire.
04:46They had it out in a jiffy.
04:48And how about Herb Dunkel?
04:49Barbara said he had a broken arm.
04:51Oh, oh, yes.
04:53Come to think of it, he did have his arm in a sling.
04:56How'd he break it?
04:57I don't know.
04:58Well, didn't you ask him?
05:00Well, Harriet, if he wanted to tell me, he would have told me.
05:03Golly, what curiosity.
05:05Well, it isn't just a matter of curiosity.
05:06It just seems silly.
05:08A man sits there with a broken arm, and you don't even ask him how he got it.
05:12Well, I don't know how he got it.
05:14Maybe he had a golfing bet with a friend, and he lost, and the friend got to break his arm.
05:22You also met Joe Randolph.
05:23You didn't say a word about him and Betty being separated.
05:27Oh, now, wait a minute.
05:28Yes, I did, Harriet.
05:29I didn't say it exactly, but I told you that Joe had a sore thumb, remember?
05:34What's that got to do with her being separated?
05:36Well, see, that's what caused it.
05:38Betty bit him on the thumb.
05:42You women are so curious.
05:44In fact, that's what caused their trouble.
05:46Betty's curiosity.
05:48Oh, fine.
05:49She finds a picture of another woman in his wallet, and it's her fault they're separated.
05:53Well, yes.
05:54If she hadn't been so darn curious, she never would have found it.
05:59As a matter of fact, this wasn't Joe's fault, you know.
06:02He didn't even know the girl.
06:03He'd never seen her.
06:04He'd never heard of her.
06:05Well, did he tell Betty that?
06:07Well, he tried to.
06:08Cutting it over his shoulder all the way down the street, but she wouldn't listen to him.
06:14And now, at the risk of sounding curious myself, when is dinner going to be ready?
06:19Just as soon as I put the arsenic in your soup.
06:26I'm laughing.
06:27She might not be kidding.
06:29Don't drink it too fast, lover boy.
06:32Lover boy?
06:33Yeah, didn't you know, Pop?
06:34Ricky's got a girl.
06:35Who are you supposed to be?
06:36The local gossip caller?
06:38Looks pretty serious, too.
06:39I saw him carrying her books home from school today.
06:41Wow.
06:42I think it was just my turn.
06:44She carried mine home yesterday.
06:47That's all right, Ricky.
06:48It's okay for a boy to have a girlfriend.
06:50It's okay for a boy to have a girlfriend.
06:52It's okay for a boy to have a girlfriend.
06:54It's okay for a boy to have a girlfriend.
06:56It's okay for a boy to have a girlfriend.
06:57It's the standard arrangement.
06:58It's been going on for years.
07:00I saw Mr. Miller's having a couple of sodas, too.
07:02Oh, really living it up, huh?
07:04It's okay to buy a girl a soda, isn't it, Pop?
07:06Sure.
07:07Is it okay to buy her a banana split, too?
07:09It's okay with me.
07:10Oh, that's good.
07:11Because I told Mr. Miller you'd pay for it.
07:15Well, I'll flip the bill this time.
07:17But next time you either use your own allowance or get a girl with a smaller appetite.
07:22What's your girlfriend's name, Ricky?
07:24Please, Harriet.
07:25Please, Harriet.
07:26Shall I turn on the bright light?
07:28This isn't the third degree, if that's what you mean.
07:30No, no, I know it isn't.
07:31You gave me the third degree before dinner.
07:33This is the fourth degree.
07:34Oh.
07:35Her name is Mildred Marshall.
07:37Her name is Mildred Marshall, Harriet.
07:39She's a very nice girl.
07:40She has blonde hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles.
07:43We're both in the same class together at school.
07:45She lives just a couple blocks down from me, and she's a very good dancer.
07:48How long have you known her?
07:49Harriet, please.
07:50Can't you see he doesn't want to talk about her?
07:52What curiosity.
07:53Oh, that's okay, Pop.
07:54I've known her about two weeks.
07:56She just moved into town.
07:59Would you say I have a nice nose, Mom?
08:01Yes, dear.
08:02I'd say you have a very nice nose.
08:04Why?
08:05Oh, nothing.
08:06Mildred just said she thought I had a nice nose.
08:08That's when I bought her the ice cream soda.
08:10I see.
08:12She likes my smile, too.
08:13Says I have a very nice smile.
08:15That's when I bought her the banana split.
08:19Oh, I'd say you picked a pretty smart girl.
08:21Come on, lover boy.
08:23Come on, lover boy.
08:24Let's go out and play some baseball.
08:25Okay, but you be careful of my nose.
08:29Well, I guess we're just growing up.
08:31Poor little guy.
08:32The way you gave him that third degree.
08:34Oh, stop it.
08:35Naturally, I'm interested in what my family's doing.
08:37Aren't you interested in what I did at luncheon today?
08:40Not especially.
08:41I know it's hard for you to realize,
08:43but men just aren't naturally curious the way women are.
08:46I suppose you wouldn't be interested
08:48if I told you a rather attractive girl
08:50said something about you today.
08:53Not especially.
08:58Did an attractive girl say something about me today?
09:03Why? Are you interested?
09:05No, no, not necessarily.
09:07I'd just like to know who she was and what she said.
09:14Oh, now who's curious?
09:16No, no, I'm not curious.
09:18I'm just naturally interested.
09:21Who was this ravishing creature
09:23who said these wonderful things about me?
09:25I didn't say she was ravishing.
09:27Well, you said she was attractive.
09:29Come on, you don't have to tell me who she was.
09:31Just give me a little hint.
09:33What kind of a little hint?
09:35Well, her name.
09:39All right, if you'll admit
09:40that you're just eaten up with curiosity
09:42and that men are just as curious as women,
09:44I'll tell you.
09:46Oh, Harriet.
09:47Just because some beautiful girl
09:49said some nice things about me?
09:51Who said she said something nice?
09:53Well, it must have been something nice
09:55or you wouldn't be afraid to tell me who she is.
09:57Oh, I'm not afraid to tell you, dear.
09:59I'm just not going to tell you.
10:02Shouldn't I say, Harriet, this is ridiculous.
10:05Just because some attractive girl named...
10:08What did you say her name was?
10:10Oh, no, that's my trick and it doesn't work.
10:14Well, wait a minute.
10:15I'll bet I know who it was.
10:17It was Dorothy, what's her name?
10:20Dorothy, what's her name?
10:21Yes.
10:22Well, what's her name?
10:27Or was it Florence?
10:29That's who it was, wasn't it?
10:30Nope.
10:32Was it Helen?
10:33Nope.
10:34You just sit there and worry about it for a while.
10:36I'm going to clear out the table.
10:39Or was it Catherine?
10:40Harriet, that's who it was.
10:41It was Catherine, wasn't it?
10:42That tall blonde girl with dark hair?
11:01One has only to recall the filmed versions of the lives of our great musical geniuses
11:06to realize that in times of great emotional stress,
11:09they all thundered out their frustrations at the keyboard.
11:12These mighty musical titans of the past all sought release to their problems
11:17through the artistic expression of their great talents.
11:25Not unlike these other mighty men of music,
11:28our own Ozzie Nelson sits down at the keyboard to seek the answer to his problem.
11:39♪♪
11:51♪♪
11:58Well, I haven't seen you play the piano in ages.
12:00Oh, Harriet, I was just thinking,
12:05have you ever considered how many songs have been written about girls' names?
12:09Oh, yes, lots of them.
12:12Margie,
12:13Louise,
12:15Josephine,
12:18Mary?
12:20There's only one song called Mary.
12:23I don't imagine it's so difficult to write a song.
12:26All it takes is a little imagination and musical curiosity.
12:30I really hadn't thought much about it.
12:31There's a definite tie-up there, you know.
12:33Have you ever stopped to figure that?
12:35Imagination and curiosity, very similar.
12:39No.
12:40Oh, yes.
12:42You see, imagination is thinking,
12:45and curiosity is wondering.
12:48You see the connection?
12:49Imagination is thinking, and curiosity is wondering?
12:54No, I don't see the connection.
12:56Well, to put it very bluntly, I'm wondering who that girl was,
13:00and I can't help thinking what's going to happen to you if you don't tell me.
13:06I can't hold out any longer, dear.
13:08You're so curious now your face is green.
13:10No, no, no, no, my face isn't green from curiosity.
13:12That's my tall grass aftershave lotion.
13:16I'm going to end your torment, dear.
13:18I made the whole thing up.
13:20You made what whole thing up?
13:22About the girl.
13:23You talk so much about a woman's curiosity that I decided to arouse yours.
13:27I did a pretty good job, too.
13:29No, Harriet, no matter how beautiful she is,
13:32or no matter what she said, there's no reason for you to hide it from me.
13:35No, honestly, dear, I made it up.
13:37What you're trying to say is that you're sorry you thought of the whole thing in the first place.
13:42Well, forget about it, Harriet.
13:44There's no need for you to be jealous.
13:46After all, just because some gorgeous girl happens to have a schoolgirl crush on me.
13:51After all, we've been married for many years now.
13:55We've been married for many, many years.
13:59Well, that's what I say.
14:00We've been married for many, many years.
14:03Golly, I'm not going to just run off and leave you.
14:08What was that silly little thing you used to call me when we were first married?
14:12Your hubby-wubby?
14:16Golly, I'm still the same.
14:18Perhaps a little more wubby, but still your hubby.
14:23No, honestly, dear, I made it up.
14:25There was no girl.
14:26Oh, Harriet, it'd be different if this was something important,
14:29but golly, it's so silly, it's much ado about nothing.
14:32Now, don't lose your temper.
14:33I'm not losing my temper, but golly, I don't care whether you tell me or not,
14:37and you won't tell me.
14:39If you don't care, why don't we just forget about it?
14:41Well, that's probably a good idea.
14:48Let's see.
14:52A girl's name.
14:56Harriet.
15:13Hi, Hans.
15:14Oh, hi, Tony.
15:16Hey, you sound mighty low.
15:18Something wrong, I hope?
15:20Oh, no, not exactly.
15:21It's just, well, Harriet's been acting kind of strange.
15:25Boy, I can't figure out women, Tony.
15:27They have so darn much curiosity.
15:29You know my wife's the same way.
15:31Always curious.
15:32Wants to know where I've been.
15:33Who did I meet?
15:34Where did I spend my money?
15:35Where'd I get any money to spend?
15:39That's been going on for centuries, I guess.
15:41Has Harriet been asking you a lot of questions lately?
15:43Oh, questions, questions, questions.
15:45You see, it's okay if she gives me a regular third degree.
15:48Let me ask her one little question, and right away it's a big deal.
15:53Now, wait a minute.
15:54I don't quite follow this.
15:55Well, I just asked her this question about this girl.
15:59I wanted to find out about her.
16:00Girl?
16:01Well, what girl?
16:02Well, it seems that Harriet attended this luncheon yesterday afternoon,
16:08and some beautiful, shapely girl,
16:12kind of embarrassing, Tony,
16:14but this beautiful girl said some pretty wonderful things about me.
16:19Very complimentary things.
16:21There's nothing wrong with Harriet.
16:22It's this girl that's out of her mind.
16:26Listen to me, will you?
16:27Now, I'll admit I'm not the handsomest guy in the world,
16:31or even in the United States.
16:33Or even in this backyard.
16:36Tony, do you want to hear about this, or don't you?
16:39I'm sorry.
16:40Now, what was it the girl said about you?
16:42Well...
16:43Wait a minute.
16:44We'd better sit down.
16:45This sounds like it's going to take a long time.
16:47Well, no, not actually, Tony.
16:49As a matter of fact, what the girl said about me wasn't important,
16:53but it's Harriet's reaction.
16:55Harriet got so darn jealous, Thorny,
16:58that she won't even tell me who the girl is.
17:01Oz, you never can tell what a woman's jealousy will do.
17:04Now, I knew a girl once who had a pet frog.
17:07The girl's name was Betty Clark.
17:11And what was the frog's name?
17:13Jacques Dupre.
17:15Anyway, Oz, things were going along just fine
17:17until the girl next door to Betty got a pet frog, too.
17:20Well, let me tell you,
17:22Betty got as jealous as she could over this other girl's frog.
17:25And the thing that burned her up more
17:27was that the other girl got more warts than she did.
17:31It's amazing what a woman's jealousy will do.
17:34Oh, it certainly is.
17:36Now, let me hear more about this friend of Harriet's
17:38that said you look like a frog.
17:39Well, she said I look...
17:41No, no, no, no, no, no.
17:43I don't know what she said exactly,
17:44but it was very complimentary.
17:46That's why Harriet's afraid to tell me who the girl is.
17:49Well, Oz, uh, I don't mean to butt in
17:51on any of the family troubles.
17:52You don't go ahead, Corny.
17:53But I think I have a very simple way
17:55to find out this girl's name.
17:57Well, go ahead. What's your idea?
17:59Very simple.
18:00Tell Harriet you know who the girl is.
18:02Tell her it's some old flame of yours
18:04that happens to be in town vacationing.
18:06And then make up some wild story about you and the girl.
18:09And when you have Harriet just dying to know more, stop.
18:13Stop?
18:14Stop cold.
18:15Don't tell her another word
18:16until she tells you who the girl is.
18:18Oh, don't worry. She'll burn it right out.
18:20Her curiosity will kill her until she does.
18:22Yeah.
18:24Corny, by golly, at times you show a touch of genius.
18:27Thank you, Oz.
18:28I use my brilliant mind as a public service.
18:31I'm really laying on thick, too.
18:33You know all about the tunnel of love
18:35and all that romantic stuff.
18:36Now, wait a minute.
18:37Oz, don't overdo it.
18:39Oh, no, no, no. I won't overdo it.
18:40Just play on the greatest feminine weakness of all,
18:42curiosity.
18:43Curiosity. Your time.
18:45Gee, thanks a lot, Donny.
18:46Okay, Oz.
18:47Well, I'll see you.
18:48Okay, Oz, now look.
18:49Be sure to let me know how you make out, will you?
18:51I'm dying to know.
19:02Oh, Harriet, I've got some news for you.
19:04I found out who that girl was at the luncheon.
19:06You did?
19:07Yeah, why didn't you tell me Liza Cromwell was in town?
19:10Who?
19:11Oh, come now.
19:12Oh, come now, dear.
19:14Don't pretend you don't remember Liza.
19:16Why, she was your biggest competitor
19:18when we were first going together.
19:19Liza Cromwell?
19:21Oh, what a girl.
19:23Ruby red lips, sparkling black eyes,
19:27chestnut brown hair,
19:29and a little turned-up nose.
19:32That was Liza.
19:33What, nobody?
19:35Oh, come now, dear.
19:37Control that jealousy and that curiosity.
19:40Oh, by the way, I have a little confession to make.
19:43Remember that time years ago
19:45when you invited me to go to the barn dance with you,
19:47and I called you up at the last minute
19:49and told you I couldn't make it,
19:51that I was allergic to banjos,
19:53they always made me talk with a twang?
19:57Well, actually, that was just an excuse.
20:00I had a date with Liza.
20:03We went to the amusement park.
20:05We rode in the tunnel of love.
20:08We got into one of those little boats
20:10and snuggled up together,
20:11and we drifted over into a dark corner,
20:14and I put my arm around her,
20:17and that's all I'm gonna tell you.
20:19I did.
20:23Yes, sir, I put my arm around her,
20:25and that's all I'm gonna tell you.
20:30Then I pulled her head over on my shoulder,
20:34and that's all I'm gonna tell you.
20:37Will you get the salt and peppers for me, please?
20:39Oh, they're right there.
20:41Oh.
20:44Then I put my other arm around her.
20:47Now, get this picture, Harriet.
20:48Both of my arms around her
20:50and her head on my shoulder,
20:52and that's all I'm gonna tell you.
20:57Harriet, are you listening to me?
20:59Hmm? Oh, yes, dear.
21:03Then we went into the tunnel of love again.
21:05Ozzie, you're on the wrong track.
21:07The girl at the luncheon wasn't Liza Cromwell at all.
21:10I knew you'd crack.
21:13What was her name?
21:15Constantina Wasselmix.
21:19Constantina Wasselmix?
21:22I don't seem to recall.
21:24She sat three seats behind you in the second grade.
21:27I still don't recall Constantina Wasselmix.
21:33What was this compliment she paid me,
21:35this nice thing she had to say about me?
21:38Oh, well, she said you were the only boy in school
21:40who could put a whole peanut butter sandwich
21:41in his mouth at one time.
21:46Are you kidding?
21:48You know, what makes you think that?
21:50Well, in the first place,
21:51Constantina Wasselmix
21:53sounds as if it might be a phony name.
21:56I don't know why it should.
21:57I just made it up.
21:59You made it up?
22:01I told you before there was no girl.
22:03I made up that story.
22:04Honestly?
22:05Mm-hmm. Crossed my heart.
22:08Of course, it really doesn't make any difference
22:10one way or the other.
22:12Yes, I know, dear.
22:13Because you aren't curious.
22:15I'm glad you realize it.
22:17Look, why don't you go in the living room
22:18and read your paper?
22:19I'll call you when dinner's ready.
22:21The whole thing is ridiculous.
22:23Of course, you could ask me if I want any help.
22:26Ask you a question?
22:27Are you kidding?
22:28And have you say I'm curious?
22:29Oh, no.
22:32Hi, Oz.
22:33Oh, Thorny.
22:34Gee, I had to come over to find out how you made out.
22:36Oh, Oreck?
22:37Constantina Wasselmix.
22:39Oh, Oz, I didn't come over here to be insulted.
22:42What are you insulting me?
22:43Look, what I want to know is,
22:45did you give Harriet a story?
22:46Oh, yes, a perfect story, Thorny.
22:49All about a girl named Liza Cromwell.
22:51Oz, I don't care about names.
22:53All I want to know is, did it work?
22:54It more than worked.
22:56I not only get this deal settled about the luncheon,
22:58but I got a confession off my chest
23:00that's been bothering me for years and years.
23:02Yeah? What do you mean?
23:03Well, there really was a girl named Liza Cromwell,
23:06you see?
23:07And there was this deal where I had to date with Harriet,
23:09and, and...
23:12Go on, dear.
23:13Yeah, go on.
23:17When Harriet came up,
23:18I figured I'd have a little fun with her.
23:24Yeah, have some fun.
23:27Oh, gosh.
23:28You know, Oz,
23:29I think you're going to have some fun.
23:32Hey, now, Thorny, come back here, Thorny.
23:34Come here, you coward.
23:35You started the whole thing.
23:45Hi.
23:46Oh, girl.
23:47Say, this should interest you, dear.
23:48I talked to Betty Randolph a little while ago.
23:50It looks like she's going to forgive Joe.
23:52Oh, that's good.
23:54I thought she was acting too hasty in the first place.
23:57After all, just a picture of a girl in his wallet
24:00is pretty flimsy evidence.
24:02Well, I don't know.
24:03Oh, Harriet, Joe says he doesn't know who the girl was.
24:06He doesn't even know how the picture got there.
24:08Chances are somebody just put it in there as a gag.
24:12Well, now, that's strange,
24:13because it's exactly what happened.
24:15Betty said that Herb Dunkel called
24:17and said that he'd put the picture in Joe's wallet as a joke.
24:20Now...
24:21Oh, there's a broken arm and everything.
24:24And then five minutes later, Thorny called,
24:26and he said he was the one who put the picture in Joe's wallet.
24:29Uh-oh.
24:30All in all, I wrote about six confessions.
24:32Joe?
24:33Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
24:34I interrupted you.
24:35Are you going to make a phone call or something?
24:37Oh.
24:39I...
24:40I don't think it'll be necessary now.
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