King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 7 Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men
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00:00Music
00:12Music
00:16Music
00:20Music
00:28good old mason 1500 handles like the day i bought her i tell you what this is the only mower i'd
00:38want with me if i were ever stranded on a desert island you are gonna kill at that lawnmower focus
00:45group tomorrow hank now dale a focus group is not a competition it's a chance for the informed
00:52lawnmower consumer to give valuable input to the mason corporation in a comfortable mall setting
00:59well i think it's just an honor to be invited you know i'll tell you why we've got to go tomorrow
01:05look at your average pickup truck with airbags and vanity mirrors it's one focus group away from
01:13turning into a powder room we can't let that happen to the mason 1500 we sure can't can we
01:21bill the only reason i invited dale and boomhower and not you is because you're coming over for
01:28thanksgiving dinner and i didn't want you to get sick of me oh hank i will never be sick of you
01:36not even when we're sharing a cloud in heaven all right you can come but when i make a point just
01:44nod hank you asked me to tell you when celine dion is off the field she's off thanks mom
01:52aren't moms great yeah they are i'll tell you what i'm thankful for that it's my mom's turn to spend
02:02thanksgiving with us she eats the dark meat and doesn't complain boy i tell you she what the
02:10you long jockeys were standing here when i left two months ago pathetic dad you came last
02:20thanksgiving this year it's mom's turn remember well i don't want to cause any fuss your mother can eat
02:28in the yard now in addition to all the things we normally don't talk about in front of my dad
02:39let me add my mason company focus group how could you be worried about this focus group
02:45your father is gonna ruin this thanksgiving as surely as squanto and his band of indians
02:52ruin the first one oh will you look at the time we've got to get this dinner on the table
02:59because we are getting up at four o'clock tomorrow morning huh it is a two-hour drive to the mall
03:06and i want us there right when the doors open i have never gotten up that early in my life unless
03:13fish were involved hank the day after thanksgiving is in my opinion the biggest shopping day of the year
03:21and i will not spend another year giving dallas mavericks crap because the cowboy stuff was all
03:27sold out so i want us in bed by 7 30 i won't be able to fall asleep that early you are not even
03:35trying have another beer oh well it's worth a shot dear lord we are grateful that cotton has forgotten
03:46our carefully worked out holiday parent rotation schedule so that we may all be together on this day
03:55amen amen
03:58oh tilly did you make this stuffing does it taste like garbage
04:09uh dad i ever tell you about the town she tried to poison me with a baked chicken
04:16oh it was chicken almondine it was cyanide woman
04:21uh dad could you please show mom some respect while bobby's in the room
04:28you heard him bobby leave the room
04:32no sit down bobby
04:34could you at least respect grandmom until we get to dessert
04:39diddy's your grandmom too baby
04:41your pretty grandmom
04:43dad
04:44course
04:45better still it was in the kitchen
04:47she was even worse in the bedroom
04:49i said the woman was lousy
04:55in the sack
04:56to the stuffing might taste like garbage but it sure fills you up
05:16come on peggy turn off your itty bitty headlamp and let's get some sleep
05:23this is six malls over texas hank if you go unprepared it will eat you alive
05:29good night peggy that was a lovely dinner
05:33good night son
05:36hmm well mom seemed to enjoy herself tonight
05:41you defended troy eggman more than you defended your mother
05:44mom knows how it is with dad and there were six dropped passes all troy can do is get it there
05:52okay everyone follow my beam hurry carefully
06:09good morning
06:11i hope we wasn't too loud last night
06:15just so you know
06:19you kids are on your own today
06:21i'm taking bobby ice skating at the mall
06:24we're gonna go meet guys
06:26i'm the bait
06:28what
06:29guys love single moms
06:32i forgot how much old lady stink
06:42good god you've got a fat neck hank
06:58so dad i thought we'd split up at the mall
07:02are you gonna talk the whole way
07:05i'm gonna head down to the corndog shack and watch the girlies make the lemonade
07:13goodbye peggy
07:18no time
07:19oh fire truck
07:29hi how long would it take to glue a rubber sole back on a ladies loafer
07:35five minutes
07:36ladies loafer
07:39that's a men's loafer
07:41it is a uni loafer
07:44have it your way
07:47this is gonna take a while
07:49hey here come leftover turkeys
08:10oh hell you're here
08:14i am everywhere you want to be
08:17hank hill
08:18i'm jonathan burrows
08:19your moderator
08:20my research associates and i at research associates have only one client
08:25the american consumer
08:27yes we are being paid by the mason corporation
08:31but we are paid to be independent
08:33what's the matter
08:37we may or may not have run into your dad in the men's room and we may or may not have told him that we were being paid fifty dollars to participate in a focus group
08:50mostly may
08:51dad that was a close one
08:57now what you're gonna want to do is turn around head out the door and well once you're out the door there really is no wrong turn
09:07after my way
09:09oh damn
09:11why don't we start by introducing ourselves
09:15con super news and pawn i am system analyst
09:19so that's what you do
09:21what kind of systems
09:23oh why bother explain
09:24you already in over your head
09:26you sir
09:27uh lane prattly
09:29i own prattly ford
09:30prattly honda
09:31and uh
09:32got my eye on prattly cadillac
09:34my daddy ain't doing so good
09:36hey you saw me an escort once
09:39boy it's hubert
09:43minister
09:44although i've lost my faith
09:47of course i did find a pretty great parking space on my way in
09:51but the lord works in such mysterious ways who the hell knows
09:55uh my name's hank hill
09:59and i
10:01he runs a gas station
10:02next
10:03i'm cotton hill
10:04i killed 50 men
10:06is that a real computer
10:09yes
10:10oh
10:10in that case
10:12my name is
10:13rusty
10:15shackleford
10:18shackleford
10:21hey you need to just go ahead and call me boom hire man
10:27it'll
10:27that'll be my last name
10:29you know
10:29you had
10:30done a lot of different things
10:31you know
10:32had a job
10:32back there
10:33and then company
10:34the settlement
10:35man i'll get a works comp too man
10:37i'll
10:38it's tax free man
10:39okay uh
10:45you sir
10:46i'm bill dotreeve
10:47i'm a sergeant barber in the united states army
10:51i'm five foot eight and three quarters inches tall
10:53my wife lenore divorced me in the year of our lord
10:57nineteen hundred and ninety one
10:59nineteen hundred and ninety one that's about it
11:00super what a fine lot you are
11:04and now i'd like to direct your attention to the best that the mason corporation has to offer
11:10that's my mower
11:11the mason fifteen hundred
11:14lord that's not my mower
11:24that's not my mower
11:24they call this progress
11:31they've pushed out all the mower to make room for cruise control zero turning radius
11:38featherweight space age polymers optional rear bag attachment
11:42tommy hillfinger sports package
11:46i love this mower so much my
11:49my heart
11:51hurts
11:52why
11:53why do you love it so much
11:55because hank hill will never be able to afford one on his meager salary
12:00my boy's a pump jockey
12:02works for tips
12:03dad
12:04i do not work for ti
12:06pump jockey
12:06dad
12:07i am not a pump jockey
12:09works for tips
12:10i like the mower
12:12it's got a lot of nice curves
12:14like a pretty young woman
12:16hank's mower's like a dumpy fishwife
12:19what are we waiting for luann
12:27oh
12:28maybe it's too soon since
12:32buckley's not getting any debtor luann
12:36it's time to move on
12:39yeah
12:40let's go
12:42are you alright
12:46it's just that
12:50they're playing buckley and my song
12:53hey
12:59come on betsy
13:16well you gotta love a product with this many options and add-ons
13:21see that's where you make your money
13:23you take your optional rear bag
13:26now if i had a mason dealership
13:28i guarantee you
13:29if you walked into my showroom
13:31you'd ride out with that bag behind your ass
13:34yeah
13:35well you sold me pinstrips for my escort
13:38no
13:38no no no
13:39let me explain to you
13:40i financed you pinstrips for your escort
13:43so if i'm hearing you people
13:47this mower has surpassed your expectations
13:49and quite possibly your dreams
13:52now hold on
13:53boomhower bill and uh
13:56rusty and me don't like it
13:58ah of course
13:59you don't like it
14:01anything i like you don't like
14:03then when i say i don't like something
14:05for example your mother
14:07you've gotta say
14:09how much you like her even more
14:12please keep my mother out of this
14:14how about you rusty
14:17rusty
14:19rusty
14:21oh shackleford
14:24yes i am pro mower
14:26what
14:27i like the ashtray
14:30don't be an idiot
14:31dale that's the gas cap
14:33he's an idiot
14:34he can use it however he wants
14:36thank you colonel
14:38oh
14:38well
14:39looks like we're pretty close to a consensus
14:42now if we could discuss the electric seat warmer
14:44why would we need our seat warmed
14:47that's what pants are for
14:49right boomhower
14:50i don't know hank man
14:51maybe don't don't get naked on that damn thing man
14:55he might a little vibrate might feel good man
14:58so you're in favor of the mower mr boomhower
15:03man don't listen man
15:06ah boomhower
15:09i'd like to make a point
15:11i already made your point bill
15:14we don't like it
15:15we like the old model
15:16thank you
15:17is that the point you wanted to make mr doterive
15:20yes
15:24no
15:26hank
15:27you have been speaking for me for
15:30i don't know how long
15:32years and years
15:34well that sounds about right
15:36well
15:36starting today
15:38william fontaine
15:40de la tour
15:40doterive
15:41speaks for himself
15:42attaboy phil
15:44and what i have to say
15:46will rock your world
15:49i like the cup holder
15:52bill we can order you a cup holder
15:54and i'll attach it to your 1500
15:56no no
15:57i'm sorry mr hill
15:59mason doesn't make parts for models that are being discontinued
16:02your mower is uh
16:04oh
16:05what's a nice word for obsolete
16:07collectible
16:09perfect
16:10bill's on fire today
16:12yeah
16:13way to go bill
16:15your mower is obsolete
16:17hank
16:18when something gets old and tired
16:20you gotta trade up
16:21you mean like you traded in mother for dd
16:24i didn't trade your mama in
16:26a trade in has some value
16:28i scrapped her
16:31listen to all of you
16:33you're hypnotized by a slick mower with all sorts of bells and whistles
16:39and you're gonna fall for it
16:41well i'm not
16:42my mower is reliable low maintenance
16:45and has held up damn well over the years
16:48i've got a good mower
16:51and i have got a good mother
16:53well
16:54so let's see a show of hands
16:56all those in favor of the new model
16:58wait
17:09are we voting for hank's mom
17:11or the mower
17:12the mower
17:13oh
17:14gentlemen
17:23you've made it clear that this new mower is what today's consumer wants
17:28when do we get our fifty dollars
17:31we haven't earned it yet
17:35this invitation specifically states that we are to discuss this new lawn mower for three hours from 9 a.m. to noon
17:44we still have an hour and a half
17:47oh man come on
17:49give us a break hank
17:50when you little redneck boy you couldn't defend your mother now you compensate by defending your mower
17:57you confuse personal issues with technological
18:00i have father issues too but this is a good mower
18:05yeah
18:05no it's not
18:07no it's not
18:08and you know what i'm willing to put my money where my mouth is
18:12i'll put up my fifty dollars less my expenses if you still like the new mower after i've had my say
18:20that works out to over seven dollars apiece
18:25put on your tap shoes shirley
18:28wait till dad sees this
18:39i'm sorry about all those things cotton said about you
18:46it doesn't mean anything he just doesn't like you
18:50oh i wouldn't mind cotton's rantings if hank would just stick up for me
18:55well if it makes you feel any better hank doesn't stick up for me either
19:00his own stepmother
19:02now you folks think that just because this mower is new it's improved
19:08so we should just get rid of the old one right
19:11well hold on for a second
19:15a lot of great things in life are old
19:19like old glory old faithful old testament
19:23thou shalt not kill
19:25just because a baptism turns into a little drowning
19:29everybody's gonna blame somebody
19:31reverend that's an awful thing
19:34can i can i ask you a question
19:36what kind of car do you drive
19:38bits of bishy diamante
19:40uh hank if you're just about through here
19:43i'd like to take the good reverend over to the lot
19:45put him behind the wheel of a brand new
19:47pre-owned
19:49sonata
19:50i'm not through here yet lane
19:53let me ask you this
19:54you'd buy this mower right
19:56with all the bells and whistles
19:59well hell yeah
20:00so you'd be the one paying all that dealer markup right
20:04you'd be just like me
20:06whoa whoa hey now hondo
20:08just a second here
20:10those god dang mason sons of bitches
20:12i'ma change them a vote
20:14all right then we're making some progress here
20:17now boomhower
20:18you like that fancy electronic seat warmer don't you
20:21yo
20:22it sounds like a good thing
20:24i'll give you that
20:25but boomhower
20:26when you ride your mower
20:28where do you keep your beer
20:29man i'd plant that damn beer right between the legs man
20:33between his legs
20:35in other words
20:36this electronic seat warmer
20:39is heating up more than just boomhower's can
20:42it's also heating up his can
20:45of beer
20:46yo man that old warm beer
20:48like a
20:49you got that damn old red
20:50uro trash man
20:52drinking that old warm crap
20:53all right
20:54boomhower's on board
20:56that makes three of us
20:59you'll never sway me
21:01i
21:02am unswayable
21:05i'd be a little more impressed with you dale
21:08if you didn't have chocolate chip crumbs all over your eyebrows
21:12no way
21:13see for yourself
21:15hey you're right
21:18who are those people
21:23oh
21:24those are just people sent here to monitor your thoughts and opinions
21:27to learn how you think
21:28you know get inside your head
21:30that's four
21:35all right
21:42i
21:43i think i've got enough
21:45positive and negative comments
21:47to put together a very positive report
21:49not so fast
21:50i've still got 30 minutes
21:53and taiwan won't be far behind
22:07and second
22:09rock the casbah
22:11rock the casbah
22:13sure he don't like it
22:17that's it
22:23this is a zero turning radius mower is it not
22:27it has a rear bag option and it's made of ultralight space age materials
22:32now
22:32taken alone each of those things might be good
22:36but combined
22:37they're a prescription for terror
22:39i don't see or like where this is going
22:42reverend hubert
22:43i didn't drown that boy
22:44would you do me the honor of getting on the mower
22:48now
22:50drive to the wall
22:52and execute a hundred and eighty degree turn
22:54now engage the zero turning radius
23:00that could have been me
23:10i hate this mower
23:12there's your space age polymers
23:15there's your zero turning radius
23:17there's your
23:18rear bag option
23:21my cup holder
23:25oh
23:26now i know why you're always speaking for me
23:30because i'm never right and you always are
23:33you know bill if i'm always speaking for you and i'm always right
23:37that means you're always right too doesn't it
23:41well uh
23:43it does
23:44it does
23:46it does
23:48how do you like that i'm always right
23:51that's everybody but one
23:54preacher
23:55if you're still in the baptizing business
23:59i'd like you to drown my boy hank
24:02they said the ladies room was the second door on the right so
24:07this must be it
24:10i'll tell you who get my vote
24:14the guy who figures out a way to strap an old woman on an old mower
24:19and run them
24:20well
24:21off we're clear
24:22oh he's doing it again
24:25and in public
24:26don't get me wrong mr khan
24:29i like a woman with a big butt
24:32until he was taking advantage of the situation
24:36all right i've had enough dad
24:39don't you talk to me like that boy
24:41i'll tell you when you've had enough
24:43no dad
24:44my mower is not too old
24:46and my mom was not too old
24:48but this isn't about my mom
24:50and it's certainly not about my mower
24:53it's about a bitter old man
24:55who blames everybody but himself
24:57for all his own problems
24:59and if you ever talk about my mom
25:02or my mower like that again
25:04you're not welcome in my house
25:07amen
25:08you got a fat neck boy
25:14well
25:17i'm not sure if there is a god
25:20or heaven
25:21but one thing i can tell you is your daddy's going to hell
25:25hello son
25:30how was the focus group
25:32eh
25:33not so great
25:34and now i've got to do all my shopping
25:37have you thought about what you want for christmas mom
25:40i don't need anything from you hank
25:43you've given me enough already
25:46well i guess peggy got a ride home with cotton
26:04huh
26:05i'll be dipped
26:06what u
26:12you
26:14what u
26:15what u
26:24oh
26:26I am not a