King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 10 A Fire-Fighting We Will Go
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00:00You
00:27guys are in big, big
00:30trouble. This is the worst
00:32offense I've seen in my
00:3314 years as she-fire
00:36investigator.
00:37Do-trieve, comma, William Fontaine
00:40de la Tour, comma, Sergeant
00:42Barber, comma, United
00:44States... comma, numbskull,
00:46comma, shut up.
00:48Well, gotta go. Sit down.
00:50Nobody's going anywhere
00:52until I find out how this happened.
00:55Now, according to
00:56Heck Dorland's statement, you
00:58were standing out behind your
01:00houses doing some light
01:02yard work.
01:09Bill
01:10called. He's going to be late.
01:12New batch of recruits started
01:14at the base this morning. He's busy
01:16bagging hair.
01:17There's old Heck Dorland
01:23taking the fire truck out for a
01:25spin. Lucky
01:27bunny.
01:27I'm a fireman. I'm a
01:37hunter.
01:43Professional firefighters got the
01:45red flu this morning, leaving
01:47just us volunteers.
01:49They're holding out for a raise.
01:51They're striking?
01:53Well, sir, fires don't go on
01:55strike. I tell you what.
01:57Heck came by the base
01:58looking for volunteers?
02:00I was the only one the
02:02base commander let go.
02:04What about the rest of you
02:05guys? You interested?
02:07You talking about firemen, man?
02:08That dang old
02:09they were talking about.
02:09Rampart 51, Rampart 51.
02:11I don't know dang old
02:12emergency, man.
02:12I got on shows on tape, man.
02:14I love that old...
02:15Fact.
02:17Volunteer firemen receive
02:18sirens for their
02:19personal vehicles.
02:21Fact.
02:21And we can use them
02:22whenever we want.
02:24Fact.
02:24Dale, sirens are only
02:27for fire emergencies.
02:29Now, heck, assuming I pass
02:31the required courses
02:32and notify my insurance
02:34company in writing,
02:35will I get to drive the
02:36fire truck?
02:37You got any speeding tickets?
02:39No, sir.
02:40I do.
02:40I do.
02:42Now, what is that
02:43doing with that?
02:44Wow, look at that.
02:48Ooh, spoons.
02:50Can I assume the potatoes
02:52will be mashed
02:54tonight?
02:56Well, Bobby,
02:57your dad is a real
02:58fireman.
02:59What do you think
03:00about that?
03:01I'm a little surprised.
03:03You know, you always
03:04seem to make such a big
03:05deal about being a
03:07propane salesman.
03:08I've got nights and weekends
03:10free.
03:11I could be a fireman, too.
03:14She's right, Hank.
03:15Deputizer.
03:16No, Luanne can't be a fireman.
03:18What if a very large man was trapped
03:22in a burning building and she had
03:24to carry him out?
03:25Then she would do a fireperson's
03:28carry, formerly known as a fireman's
03:31carry.
03:31What's that?
03:32It allows a woman to lift a man's
03:35weight through a scientific
03:37principle that I like to call
03:39leverage.
03:41Now, come over here.
03:42I'll show you.
03:43Oh, yeah.
03:51Oh, no.
03:53Peggy, are you okay?
03:55Well, yes, of course I am.
03:57Okay.
03:59Let's eat.
04:00Let's eat.
04:02I'll start the water flow.
04:13Gribble, you're a nozzle man,
04:15so aim at the base of the flame.
04:21Come on, Dale, straighten it out.
04:24Watch where you're aiming.
04:29Into the flake.
04:30Pick it up.
04:31Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
04:34Come on, Dale.
04:34Come on, Dale.
04:41Wasn't my fault.
04:42My mask fogged up.
04:46Damn it, Dale.
04:47The safety and welfare of Ireland
04:49is at stake.
04:50Get serious.
04:54Good idea, Beef.
04:56All right.
04:56It's time you boys met
04:58The Jaws.
04:59The Jaws.
05:02Jaws of life,
05:04a.k.a.
05:05The Jaws.
05:06Victims trapped in the car,
05:08this baby will peel it like an orange.
05:11Yeah, let's see what it does
05:14with a real orange.
05:18Heck, I thought I'd go ahead
05:20and sharpen all the axes.
05:22Hey, it's the lumberjack,
05:24and he's okay.
05:31Relax, Hank.
05:32We're off the clock.
05:34Hey, say hello to Chet Elderson,
05:36one of Ireland's
05:37first volunteer firemen.
05:40Well, what an honor, sir.
05:41Hank Hill,
05:43propane and propane
05:44accessory.
05:46Ain't you the idiot
05:47what blew up the
05:48megalomark?
05:49I was supposed to
05:51take my vacation
05:52that week.
05:53Idiot.
05:54Uh, actually, sir,
05:56the idiot
05:57you're thinking of
05:58was named Buckley.
05:59Yeah, yeah.
06:01I'm retired now.
06:04Who unplugged my sign?
06:06Chet, you know
06:07you can't plug it in.
06:09It don't work right.
06:10I'll get it for you.
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:17Ah!
06:17How'd I do, Bobby?
06:33Okay.
06:35Go!
06:36Oh, God.
06:44That's good, boys.
06:45You keep playing firemen.
06:48Peggy, let me help you.
06:50Oh, I'm fine.
06:51I've got it.
06:52Did you hurt your leg
06:53because, uh,
06:54you seem to be limping.
06:55Well, I have not
06:56noticed a limp.
06:58Maybe it's because
06:59I'm carrying a heavy bag.
07:00Well, maybe it has
07:01something to do
07:02with when you pulled
07:03your groin
07:04picking me up.
07:05Well, honey,
07:06I don't think
07:06that could be true
07:07since ladies
07:08these do not
07:09have groins.
07:15All right,
07:16let's talk about
07:17oxygen tanks.
07:19The cylinder gauge
07:20should be within
07:21how many PSI
07:23of the regulator gauge?
07:25Anyone?
07:26I am protesting
07:28the results
07:29of last night's
07:30ping-pong tournament.
07:32Boomhauer cannot
07:33play the ball
07:34off of Bill's head.
07:36No,
07:37we all agreed
07:38my head's in play.
07:40In the first round,
07:45the Dallas Cowboys
07:46select Bobby Hill
07:48left tackle.
07:50Hey, Dad.
07:52I told you
07:53my dad was a fireman.
07:55He's a volunteer.
07:58Oh, Dad!
07:59We're muddy.
08:00Could you hose us off?
08:02Sure.
08:03I'll open up
08:04the hydrant.
08:06Dale,
08:06the hydrants
08:07are for fire emergencies.
08:10They don't know
08:12how to open
08:13the hydrant.
08:14Because they're
08:15volunteers.
08:17Son,
08:18you're about to get
08:19very, very wet.
08:22Fireman Gribble,
08:23drill time.
08:24Get me the
08:24hydrant wrench.
08:25Mr. Boomhauer,
08:26I need you to run
08:27a three-inch hose.
08:28Bill,
08:29hook it up.
08:37It's stuck.
08:38That's because
08:39you're turning it
08:40the wrong way.
08:41Give me the wrench.
08:42No!
08:43No!
08:43Wait!
08:44Wait!
08:44Shut it off!
08:48Shut it off!
08:53Hey!
08:55Damn it, Dale.
08:56You stripped the bolt.
08:58It wasn't me.
09:01Man,
09:01let me get
09:02over that dang old way,
09:03man.
09:03Quit it,
09:04knucklehead.
09:04the jaws ain't
09:05for that.
09:06The jaws ain't for that.
09:14So you were the ones
09:16who busted
09:16that hydrant.
09:18We got an anonymous
09:19call.
09:20It was a bunch
09:21of kids.
09:22Bunch of kids?
09:23I gave you names.
09:25Hill,
09:25Bobby,
09:26Gribble,
09:27Joseph.
09:27It was Dale.
09:28Dale,
09:28who took
09:29them in the jaws
09:29and light it.
09:30Oh, God.
09:33The hydrant's
09:34the least
09:35of our problems.
09:36He doesn't care
09:37about that.
09:38He's right.
09:38I don't.
09:39You half-witch
09:40could be looking
09:41at jail time.
09:42Uh,
09:44uh,
09:44my name
09:45is Shackleford,
09:47Rusty Shackleford.
09:48I refuse
09:49to speak
09:49without my
09:50attorney present.
09:52I am
09:53Mr. Shackleford's
09:54attorney,
09:55Rusty Shackleford.
09:57My client
09:58pleads
09:59insanity.
10:00My name
10:01is
10:01Dotreeve
10:02Comma Bill,
10:03and I am
10:04also insane.
10:06Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:06Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:07Oh.
10:08Oh.
10:08Oh.
10:12Gribble,
10:14you've had
10:15your phone call.
10:17I know,
10:17but now
10:18I'm making
10:18one of Shackleford.
10:20You see
10:20what I have
10:21to deal with?
10:23Let's just
10:24get back
10:24to the
10:25Madrid hand.
10:27After you
10:27broke
10:28the fire hydrant.
10:31Please,
10:32guys,
10:33we've been
10:33given a
10:34once-in-a-lifetime
10:35opportunity here.
10:37Now,
10:37let's not
10:37do anything
10:38more
10:38to screw
10:39this up.
10:40Now,
10:40how about
10:41running
10:41some ladder
10:42carry drills?
10:43Not interested.
10:45You pushed
10:45me aside,
10:46made me
10:47look like
10:47a fool
10:48in front
10:48of my
10:49own
10:49flesh
10:49and blood.
10:53Hey,
10:53Shage,
10:55plug in
10:55my element
10:56sign,
10:56will you?
10:57Better not,
10:58Dale.
10:58Remember,
10:58it doesn't
10:59work right.
11:00B-A-B-A-B-B-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B-I-B
11:30What's going on in here?
11:31I'll take care of it.
11:33Boomhauer, put some ice on that ear.
11:35Bill, you fix the window.
11:37Dale?
11:37No.
11:38No more orders.
11:40Heck, I cannot work with this man here.
11:42I want a transfer.
11:44Dale, shut up.
11:46You're acting like an idiot.
11:47B-A-B-K-E-B-I-B-O-B-K-E-B-I-B-O-B-K-E-B-I-B-O.
11:52That's enough.
11:53Either you guys get along, or I'll find four others who can.
12:00Health care for striking firefighters.
12:08Oh, Aunt Peggy, it looks like your groins are still hurting you.
12:13I just need to spend the night icing it.
12:16Thank God Hank's sleeping at the fire station tonight.
12:19Why don't you just admit to him that you hurt yourself picking up Bobby?
12:24Oh, honey, you've never been married.
12:30Now, who left the...
12:38What?
12:39Ah!
12:41Ah!
12:42What the...
12:44You can't use the fire hose like this.
12:47You'll damage the elasticity.
12:49What you got under the foil, Mr. Party Pooper?
12:53Some party poop?
12:55Uh, Peggy made some Frito Pie for us.
12:59There you go.
13:00Hey, Dale, I was ahead when Hank ruined our game, so I win, right?
13:04Wrong.
13:05You automatically lose.
13:07But I'll go double or nothing on the ping pong court.
13:10All right.
13:11Okay.
13:11Okay, fellas, time to hit the hay.
13:24Knock it off.
13:26Game's not over yet.
13:28Pick it up tomorrow.
13:30Hey, man, I hate it.
13:31Man, I'm about to fight a hot Frito Pie, man.
13:37Give me the ball, damn it.
13:39There.
13:40Oh!
13:44There.
13:47Dang it, Bill, that was my only pair of glasses.
13:50Dang it, Hank, that was our only ball.
13:59Hey, man, there was a dang old scarf on that, man.
14:03Ah!
14:05My face hurts.
14:06And it'll match your ass when I'm done kickin' it.
14:09Get down here.
14:11I'm gonna...
14:11I'm gonna...
14:12Ah!
14:17Ow!
14:18Ah!
14:23No fire!
14:24I'm stuck.
14:27Yeah!
14:28Hey!
14:29Yeah!
14:33Good night.
14:35Are you guys playin' with that busted ball now?
14:45Ah!
14:51I got bad news, man.
14:54Chet Ellerson died.
14:57Natural causes.
14:58Oh, man.
14:59What a shame.
15:00Bummer, man.
15:01Very sad.
15:02Oh, for cryin' out loud.
15:12Come on, Hank.
15:13Pick up the pace.
15:15I can't see where I'm goin'.
15:17Damn you, Bill.
15:19Shh, man.
15:20I don't disrespect, man.
15:22I don't...
15:22Lift, Bill.
15:24Man, I don't...
15:24I am!
15:25It's Dale.
15:26He's fakin' it.
15:28Am not.
15:29Dale, no wonder my end feels so heavy.
15:32Get your hands on the casket.
15:34It's bad luck.
15:37Oh.
15:38Oh, no.
15:39Oh, no.
15:40Oh!
15:42Dale!
15:47Ow!
15:47Ow!
15:49Told you it was bad luck.
15:52Oh.
15:52Hank, I wanna offer...
15:57Don't.
15:57I mean, I just wanted to...
15:59No, you cannot speak to me ever again.
16:03That goes for me, too, faker.
16:06Why don't you eat some more pizza?
16:08That's all you ever do is eat pizza.
16:10No wonder you're bald and your wife left you.
16:13Well, dang, well, amen, man.
16:15Hey!
16:17I'm burned!
16:19All of you, go to bed.
16:21It's four in the afternoon.
16:23What did I tell you about talkin' to me?
16:26You stop the fightin'!
16:27This is no way to honor the memory of Chet Elderson.
16:32I think I shall honor Chet's memory
16:36by plugging in his beloved Alamo beer sign.
16:45Code 44.
16:46Goober Smooch's Restaurant.
16:48Engine 91, response.
16:49Code 44.
16:51Our first fire.
16:52Let's go.
16:53Move it out.
16:54Fire's out, man.
17:22Oh, well, that's good, I guess.
17:28I was down the street having a plaque made.
17:31I thought we'd rename the station the Chet Elderson Firehouse.
17:35Since you didn't get a decent burial.
17:40They're calling all units.
17:43Where is it?
17:45Oh, my God.
17:52Uh, where do you want us, Chief?
18:02Back in the grave with Chet Elderson.
18:06Ahem.
18:07I hereby dedicate you the Chet Elderson Firehouse.
18:16Sir, I've kept a journal of all the violations these three nincompoops have committed,
18:21and I'll be more than happy to turn it over and...
18:23I've read that journal.
18:25It's all lies.
18:26Hank did it.
18:27Bill did it, too.
18:28I begged him not to.
18:30Oh, you chicken-necked ass, I'll kill you!
18:38Oh, for heaven's sake.
18:40Hey!
18:42Come on!
18:42Hey!
18:43I'll get it!
18:44Well, I thought you guys had reached your peak when you pantsed Chet Elderson at his funeral.
18:56But then you outdid yourself by burning down your old firehouse!
19:01Not me.
19:02It was these screw-ups.
19:04Well, maybe this is the wrong time to bring this up, but we are only volunteers.
19:09We're gonna go over every minute of what happened before you lame-brains left for goober-smooches.
19:16Then I'll know which one of you to bring up on charges.
19:21Gribble, you first.
19:24Well, as usual, I was performing rigorous fire safety checks on the station house.
19:32Bill had his face buried in a French-bread pizza.
19:41Hank was giving orders for a change.
19:48And Boomhauer thought being a fireman meant a chance to work on his tan.
19:53Of course, he didn't realize his tanning lotion had been replaced with some icy hot Hank bought for Peggy's humiliating groin pull.
20:04Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
20:06Nah.
20:06Uh-uh-uh.
20:07Uh-uh.
20:08Uh-uh.
20:08Uh-uh-uh-uh.
20:09But then the fire alarm went off.
20:12And Boomhauer knocked over his tanning lamp as he bolted upright.
20:20I raced for the fire truck with lightning speed.
20:29Uh-uh.
20:30Uh-uh.
20:31That's all I remember.
20:33Nah, no way, man.
20:34No gribble to talk to that crazy crap, man.
20:36I'll tell you what happened to that.
20:37That was a dang old truth, man.
20:39Bill, man, I was through and there and flip.
20:41Boom, man, right in my ear, man.
20:43Yeah, man, I tell you what a dang old detector, man.
20:48Talk about government take away freedom of smoke.
20:51Man, I tell you what a dang old yo, man.
20:53Gee.
20:54Hey, man, I tell you what, man.
20:56A dang old boy ain't right.
20:57Man, I don't gonna talk about no kickin' him dang old ass, man.
21:00I don't know what to take.
21:01Greg?
21:02For God's sakes, Hank.
21:03Act like an adult, man.
21:05And keep it down, guys, will ya?
21:08I am trying to get through an article on vintage Camaros and I've been on the same dang page for 20 minutes.
21:18Dang old pretty, pretty, Pete.
21:20I'll tell you what.
21:21So you're sayin' that Bill left the oven on?
21:26Not true.
21:28Okay.
21:30I have a weakness for Pete's.
21:33I have a lot of weaknesses, actually.
21:37But I distinctly remember turnin' off the toaster oven.
21:41Let's see.
21:42Uh, then I had myself a little dessert.
21:59Oh, my.
22:02Uh, okay.
22:06Uh, so I turned off the toaster oven, just like I said.
22:10Well, what happened after the fire alarm went off?
22:13Uh, I was in the garage, gettin' bunkered out.
22:17Dale was on the tailboard, switchin' the oxygen tanks.
22:21What do you mean, switchin' the tanks?
22:23Why would you switch the oxygen tanks?
22:26Oh, let's face it.
22:28Me, Bill, and Boomer had no idea what we were doin'.
22:33You're the only real firemen among us.
22:35I saw your tank was runnin' low.
22:38Mine was full, and I knew you'd need every molecule of oxygen to carry our charred bodies out of that raging inferno.
22:49So, the fire could've been caused by Gribble's smokin', Boomhauer's tanning, or Doetrieve's incessant cookin'.
22:58It could've been, but it wasn't, and I'll tell you why it wasn't, I'll tell you what.
23:04We had finally realized our boyhood dreams.
23:09We had become firefighters.
23:11Except instead of fighting fires, we were busy fightin' each other.
23:15Anyway, the fire alarm went off, and I sprung into action.
23:30I switched off the lamp, turned off the stove, and put out the cigarette.
23:36I ran toward the fire truck, and I saw Dale fiddling in the back.
23:41I didn't know that he was busy switchin' the oxygen tanks.
23:45Awfully nice thing of him to do, since we weren't even on speaking terms.
23:50Still aren't.
23:52Then I put my blinker on to pull out.
23:54Wait a minute.
23:56I remember seein' some kind of yellow light in the mirror.
24:01I know what caused the fire.
24:04Somebody plugged in that stupid Alamo beer sign.
24:08And I'll tell you who that somebody had to be.
24:13That somebody had to be...
24:18Chet Elderson.
24:23I did not... Chet Elderson!
24:26Yep, Chet was always trying to plug it in.
24:29He loved that sign.
24:31But the dang thing didn't work right.
24:33It threw off sparks and, well, it was just a real fire hazard.
24:38Isn't that right, Dale?
24:40Uh, yes.
24:42Chet Elderson must have plugged that sign in the last time he was at the station.
24:47What a moron.
24:49May he rest in peace.
24:51Right, Bill?
24:53Right.
24:54Yeah, but sounds like Chet.
24:58Tell you what, man.
24:59The old gold dragon, the old Chet's name through the mud.
25:02The old Dale's the one who did it, man.
25:04The old dad didn't leave the old Chet alone, man.
25:08So each and every one of you believes that Chet Elderson started that fire?
25:13Ah.
25:16Well, it doesn't surprise me.
25:18I told him a half a dozen times not to plug in that sign.
25:22Uh-huh.
25:24I don't know.
25:25Chet was one heck of a fireman.
25:28I hate to soil his good name.
25:31Well, guess we could just call it an electrical fire.
25:35Accidents do happen.
25:37Good idea.
25:38That's what we'll do.
25:42You're free to go.
25:47Well, I heard Mrs. Strockmorton's looking to hire four plumbers.
25:51No.
25:52It's all the beer we can drink.
25:54Silly.
25:57Uh, okay, I could use a beer.
26:00Yep.
26:02Yep.
26:03Mm-hmm.
26:24Oh, God!
26:46Oh, yeah!
26:48Oh!
26:53Bickey Bobby Bobo Bickey Bo-