Malcolm In The Middle Season 5 Episode 21 Reese Joins The Army Pt 1
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00:00Do you think babies dream?
00:30Oh, Jamie, finally fell asleep.
00:39Haven't you finished paying these bills yet?
00:42How am I supposed to know which ones to blow off?
00:45Ultimate final notice is obviously more serious than absolute final notice,
00:49but pink is angrier than yellow,
00:51and this one's still saying please.
00:53Would someone get my calculator out of the car?
00:56I'll get it.
00:57I'll go with you.
00:59That's Beth.
01:01Reese's girlfriend for the last month.
01:03She's really starting to bug me.
01:05First, I had to hear them through their baby talk phase.
01:09Then they had their giggling phone call phase.
01:12Now they're on their endless making out phase.
01:15It's gotten to the point where I can't tell if they're kissing or cleaning each other.
01:20Well, forget this one.
01:21What's the vet gonna do?
01:22Bring Dewey's bird back to life?
01:24The feds arrested Morrison today.
01:27He locked himself in the supply cabinet and they just carried the whole thing out.
01:31God, haven't they finished arresting people yet?
01:35Dewey, could you please not do that right now?
01:38Look, I need to have both the Debussy and the Ravel nailed by tomorrow morning.
01:44The selection committee for the Youth Music Festival won't be impressed with simple etudes.
01:51What?
01:52I'm just sharing my day.
01:54Thanks for taking an interest.
01:56Okay, we'll be studying.
01:59Wait, where's my calculator?
02:01Oh.
02:02I'll get it.
02:03I'll go with you.
02:14Buckle up.
02:15Hey!
02:16I'm Agent Stone.
02:17This is Agent Scurry.
02:18We're from the FBI.
02:20I thought it was just a squirrel.
02:22That's why I kept going.
02:23God, if I could have that day back, I would give anything.
02:26Sir, this is about the company you work for.
02:30In the last eight months, we filed 230 criminal indictments.
02:33People are flying into jail cells.
02:35It's beautiful.
02:37Except for your department.
02:39But we're just about ready to pounce on Ken Wickstead.
02:42Ken Wickstead?
02:43We've got him dead to rights.
02:44We just need you to confirm a couple of key details.
02:47Did you ever see Ken Wickstead change the numbers on a Section 13B filing
02:51after it was signed by the company auditors?
02:54What?
02:55No.
02:56Did he ever mention, maybe in passing, anything about an offshore account in the Cayman Islands?
03:00Or a villa?
03:02Anything about a villa?
03:03I don't think so, Al.
03:05We really, really need you to search your memory.
03:08Think hard about whether you're remembering right,
03:11or whether you should change your answer to yes.
03:14Do you want me to lie?
03:16We're just asking if you'd like to confirm what everybody already knows,
03:20or whether you'd like to provoke the full fury of the United States government.
03:24Now, can you swing by my kid's school?
03:27I forgot to give him his lunch.
03:31Well, I'm sorry.
03:32You know what I'm looking for.
03:33Yeah.
03:35Lebenscipline.
03:36You know what?
03:44Why are you dressed like that?
03:46Because I've been thinking about this moment for a long time.
03:49And I want it to be perfect.
03:51Beth, I have something to tell you.
03:57Beth, I love you.
04:00I love you.
04:02I love you!
04:06Oh God, this is going to be so horrible for you.
04:10I am so sorry.
04:12What do you mean?
04:13I want to break up.
04:16Oh.
04:20Yeah.
04:22Yeah, that's okay.
04:24Yeah, it's fine.
04:25No, I was just kidding anyway about...
04:29Yeah.
04:30No biggie.
04:35Look, Reese, it's not you.
04:37It's me.
04:38I just think I can do better.
04:40I think we should end it now before things get even...
04:43Can we stop that music?
04:57I should go.
04:58Reese, if I could make myself like you, I would.
05:02What's that?
05:03Reese, stop.
05:04You're going to wake up my parents.
05:05You really don't want to do this.
05:06It's not what...
05:07She grew on me.
05:08Please don't kill me.
05:09You can break my fingers.
05:10Or if you just want to rest, I'll break them for you.
05:11I just want you to be happy.
05:12Wow.
05:13I thought there'd be a huge fist fight.
05:14I didn't...
05:39Wow, I thought there'd be a huge fist fight.
05:42I mean, I had no right to expect it, but I would have understood.
05:51They want you to lie?
05:53They never said that exactly.
05:55Well, the big guy never said anything.
05:57These guys are serious, Lois, and they're everywhere.
06:00It's scary.
06:01Well, I aced my audition.
06:03They're sending me to the state finals.
06:05So now I just need to tell them how many family members are coming.
06:09Dewey, we're in the middle of something important here.
06:11So that's me and everybody who cares about me?
06:15One.
06:16Do you believe the way these guys operate?
06:18They find some weak little patsy.
06:20They're sure it's going to crack under the slightest pressure
06:23just so they don't have to do their own legwork.
06:25I'm embarrassed for both of us.
06:27Well, this is America, Hal.
06:29You are not going to lie to put someone in jail who might be innocent.
06:33You are right, and you know what?
06:35I'm going to tell them that right now.
06:39You've taken my arms and legs.
06:53What else do you want?
06:54I want your eyeballs for my chocolate sundae.
06:57But I'll be blind,
06:59and your sundae will only taste a little bit better.
07:01I'm the worst brother ever!
07:11Malcolm!
07:12Malcolm, wake up!
07:13Reese is gone!
07:15What?
07:15Where'd he go?
07:16The note didn't say.
07:18If my own brother could stab me through the heart,
07:21blah, blah, blah,
07:22teardrops,
07:23blah, blah, blah,
07:24blah,
07:24goodbye forever.
07:25Look,
07:27mom and dad are going to make a big deal out of this.
07:30Let's just sit on it
07:32till I get an answer about my music festival.
07:34Tom,
07:35what are you doing?
07:35Leave him alone!
07:37You can't!
07:37What's happening?
07:38What are you doing?
07:39Whitstead rolled over on you, Hal.
07:41He told us all about your offshore accounts
07:43in the Cayman Islands,
07:44altering documents,
07:46the villa,
07:47everything.
07:47Can't he at least put some pants on?
07:49Just as soon as we get a good perp walk out of him.
07:53This is ridiculous!
07:54He doesn't belong in jail!
07:56He doesn't even look in the back of the TV guy
07:58for the crossword answers!
08:00Buddy, I love you!
08:01Keep the phone bill paid so I can call you,
08:03and the trick to the thermostat
08:05is to push in before you twist it.
08:07Sir,
08:07you need to stand still.
08:09And I need a lawyer,
08:10not Reese's.
08:10I want a good one.
08:12Sir,
08:13you need to stop squirming.
08:15Boys, go back in the house!
08:16Boys,
08:16your daddy loves you very much,
08:18and don't worry about this!
08:20Sir,
08:20this is your last warning!
08:21Believe in the American justices!
08:24I guess Dad's in now.
08:47Don't worry, Hal.
08:48I will be there first thing in the morning.
08:50Yes,
08:51I will bring your shaving cream
08:52and your toothbrush.
08:53No,
08:54Hal,
08:55do not make a break for it.
08:57Say it back to me.
09:00Okay.
09:01I love you.
09:03That's not evidence!
09:04Those are my birth control pills!
09:06I brought them with me!
09:07The beagle made a pointy foot.
09:09It's out of my hands, lady.
09:10What the hell is wrong with you?
09:12At least leave me one.
09:14Francis,
09:14don't make any more trouble
09:15than we already have.
09:17And you do not have a warrant
09:18to vandalize our house!
09:20When this is all over,
09:21you are going to be
09:22chalking tires
09:23all the way from here
09:24to Montreal!
09:25Don't you threaten me, lady!
09:27I will make myself
09:28a presence
09:29in this house
09:30anytime I'm...
09:31Both hands
09:39and a flashlight!
09:44Okay.
09:45The lawyer is supposed
09:46to meet me here at seven.
09:48If I'm late,
09:48feed him something.
09:49But not the tuna casserole.
09:51That has to last
09:51for the next four days.
09:52Hopefully by that time your father will...
09:56Somebody better do those dishes.
09:59Mom, don't worry. Just do what you have to do. We'll look after the house.
10:03I have to go.
10:04Don't let me forget to get your father's allergy medication and pick up his suit for the hearing.
10:09You want me to do anything?
10:10Well, you could sue your brother's girlfriend.
10:12Oh, wait. You already did that.
10:14I know what I did was awful. Believe me, I know.
10:18And I don't even want forgiveness.
10:20But I think if you all just give me a chance, I could prove that I'm a better person than this.
10:26My eyes are up here.
10:31I'm just going to have to find Reese, that's all.
10:34It shouldn't be too hard. Where's he going to go anyway?
10:38Welcome to the U.S. Army.
10:41Your home for the next three years.
10:44You will proceed single file on the yellow stripe to the processing facility.
10:49Do not overwork your tiny little brains trying to figure out what the other stripes are for.
10:56Now move!
10:58Not good enough. Good enough for this place.
11:15Hold it!
11:17Are you sure you're 18?
11:19I've got the driver's license to prove it.
11:22All right, Private Jetson.
11:26Get back in line!
11:28I am garbage!
11:31I belong in a garbage can!
11:34I am garbage!
11:36I belong in a garbage can!
11:38I am garbage!
11:40I belong in a garbage can!
11:42I am garbage!
11:43I am garbage!
11:45Does he have to wear that thing?
11:48Hey, it was either house arrest or jail.
11:51I think we made the right choice.
11:54All right, your anklet sends a signal to the tamper-proof base station.
11:58Your court order says you have to stay within a 50-foot radius.
12:01Can I shower with this?
12:03Oh.
12:04Now you're snapping at me.
12:06Okay.
12:07You just lost 10 feet.
12:09What are you doing?
12:10Let me tell you how this works.
12:12You may have a court order, but the truth is I can set this to whatever I want.
12:18200 miles or 4 inches.
12:21Oh, look, you're vacationing in Vegas.
12:25Whoops!
12:26You can't get out of your own bathroom.
12:28Lois, I've been in the public defender's office for 10 years, and I can tell you that arraignment was not a disaster.
12:35I bet we can get him down to conspiracy to commit fraud.
12:40That's what he's already charged with!
12:43Oh.
12:46Do you have a pen?
12:47Look, I know how overworked you are, but from now on you have only one case.
12:53An innocent man with five children and a wife whose lives are teetering on the brink of oblivion.
12:58Please, don't let that happen.
13:01You have to save my family.
13:02You are the only person who can help us.
13:05Lois, I swear to you I will work night and day to get your husband out of this.
13:11My screenplay can wait a few months.
13:14I'm sorry, Hal, I have to go to work.
13:18But don't worry.
13:20We will get through this.
13:23I love you.
13:28Oh, I have the most amazing wife.
13:31Now you're gonna throw that in my face?
13:33That cost you five feet.
13:38All right, troop, you're next.
13:40Get in the chair.
13:42Okay, I was thinking something like this.
13:47Look at this lifeguard.
13:49Is there a straight guy version of that?
13:51Cause that'd be perfect for me.
14:00Okay.
14:01If you stop here, I think I can still make it work.
14:04It'll look longer when it's combed out, right?
14:22There's no way I would have picked the laundry if I knew that this stuff was in it.
14:25You're afraid of your mother's underwear?
14:27What's the big deal about your mother's underwear?
14:29Stop saying mother's underwear!
14:31I don't know how much longer Mom can handle all this.
14:34The double shifts, the bills, the meetings with the police and the lawyers.
14:38Don't forget the missing son.
14:40I'm going to find him!
14:42Well, if anyone cares, my flight number's five...
14:47Oh, hey Mom.
14:49Just give us a second and we'll clear all this stuff off the bed for you.
14:58What time does she want the alarm set?
15:005.30.
15:03We're also supposed to brush our teeth.
15:06Good morning, maggots!
15:09Now I want you to understand why I call you maggots.
15:12The maggot is the slimy, quivering, larval form of the common house fly.
15:18And we all know what maggots eat, and I will be the guy providing...
15:27Good God.
15:28I bet there's a great story for this, isn't there son?
15:32Hang on.
15:34Of course.
15:38Okay.
15:40Would you like to tell me what happened to your gear, Private?
15:43Oh, I traded it.
15:44I got this and five cartridges.
15:47So, you just blithely gave away your government issue rucksack and poncho?
15:53Well, the pack I figure I can eventually get off a dead guy.
15:56And the poncho?
15:58Come on.
15:59Does it look like rain to you?
16:02My drill sergeant helps me learn.
16:05I am just a lowly worm.
16:08He commits a sudden race.
16:11I am just a human stain.
16:13My drill sergeant helps me learn.
16:14There you go...
16:15I am just a human die.
16:16I am just a human die.
16:17From the 마무리 Stacy, I am just a human die!
16:19I am just a human die!
16:21Good way!
16:23If my shin is dead, he will reduce your blood.
16:24You get the blood.
16:25I will never die equally.
16:26You get your blood!
16:27I will never die!
16:28I am just a human die!
16:29You get the blood on the ground.
16:31You are even a human die.
16:32oh my god Jamie Jamie Jamie honey come to daddy come to daddy Jamie come on Jamie
17:02look inside the basket look Jamie it's your favorite
17:11Jamie don't go in there that's dangerous no no no no you stay away from there don't you touch that
17:25hello hello Hal I have some information that can help you what who is this I'm not going to tell
17:42you but I know you're innocent and I can prove it we need to meet face to face somewhere where
17:48there's a crowd but I can't look if you want to stay out of jail you'll do it why can't you come
17:54here your place is being watched your phone's probably bugged too meet me Thursday at noon at
18:01the place where you go when you say you're getting more toner the donut shack all right plan B meet me
18:09at the place where you go when you say you've got a dentist appointment don't say where it is
18:14I know who this is you're my drill sergeant's breath is not my concern my drill sergeant's breath is not
18:25my concern my drill sergeant's breath is not my concern so I put the base station in there where
18:31the portable power supply I modulated a standard cell phone to mimic the analog motive just make
18:37sure you stay within 30 feet of this backpack don't worry we got the ankle bracelet completely
18:43camouflaged and you believe your mom wanted to give this to the blind remember you have to be
18:53back by 4 that's when mom gets home and you understand how important it is to keep this from
18:59her don't you Francis you're in charge of making sure Malcolm doesn't betray me like he's prone to do
19:04absolutely
19:04well troop you've polished your boots before everyone else how on God's good earth did you accomplish that
19:22miracle I just did it exactly the way you told me to remove laces pull tongue forward apply polish
19:29pull tongue backward buff replace laces repeat I did the same thing to make my bed and secure my foot
19:35locker
19:35well that's the most miraculous turnaround that I've ever seen I want you to explain to these recruits
19:47how the worst soldier in the unit has managed to put them all to shame
19:50I just stopped thinking I figured out that using my brain was the whole problem not just here but my
19:59entire life if I just do exactly what I'm told and nothing else then everything gets easy it's not even a
20:08question of smart or dumb you just turn yourself into a tool I'm much happier that way I'm the world's happiest tool you must be
20:20proud of yourself son I don't know if I am or not I'm waiting for you to tell me
20:25oh my god a soldier like you comes along once at a thousand years
20:33um you're home early yep got fired what I gave someone two thousand dollars in change instead of 20
20:47but you know what we just adapt we move forward I'll get another job and in the meantime I can get
20:55started on dinner actually they repossessed the fridge this morning
21:00fine we will get through this
21:06it's okay he's all right just got away from me for a second
21:14and we will get through this as long as we're together as long as we have each other we are a family
21:27where's dad
21:29he's gone
21:33I think I'll take a shower
21:39left right left right up in two two left to right front to back there now pinch
22:04one two three four 29 30
22:27listen I don't have much time I know everybody who's in on this and I know exactly what they did
22:51because I helped them what they paid me millions I was happy just to sit back and watch you take a fall
22:58but then I found out I'm dying I've got six months at the most oh my god I'm sorry
23:07listen I can't go to my grave with this on my conscience so I'm flipping on all of them I'm gonna tell the truth
23:14we can't tip our hand they're too powerful if they even get a whiff of this they'll just fabricate
23:22new documents and we'll both go down you won't hear from me until I show up at the courthouse
23:28don't follow me I've also got some overdue book finds I want to get off my conscience
23:35mom will you at least talk to us I'm in the shower honey yes we know you're in the shower it's been
23:48three hours now the water must be freezing do I bother you when you're in the shower
23:55mom listen I know how hard this is for you I know how scared you are but you know what
24:12you got a family that depends on you and as impossible as it seems you just gotta suck it up
24:18one more time just one more time mom that's all we need you know you can do this
24:24in a minute I'm in the shower
24:29sorry officer excuse me you in a hurry you know busy day you understand is that your backpack
24:39oh uh no no absolutely not better check it out
24:49whoa I think we got a bomb here you gotta get out of here
24:53oh no I can't sir I need you to step away to a distance of at least 150 feet
24:58I can't do that I'm I'm I'm in the bomb squad
25:05what that's right you better let a professional handle this
25:08damn that was a week from retirement
25:12you get to safety I'll take it from here yes sir
25:15you
25:17whoo
25:18what that's right now
25:30whoo
25:30whoo
25:31AVAILABLE NOW
26:01AVAILABLE NOW