Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an exorcism that took place in the lumber aisle of The Home Depot and Andy recalls how a trip to buy a safe ended up taking much longer than expected.
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00:00where would you if you were going to have an exorcism
00:07where would you hold it denny's denny's all right bold choice indeed yes i'm not sure many
00:17people would turn to denny's that's where i would do it i definitely wouldn't great place to do it
00:22breakfast while you're doing exactly definitely wouldn't turn to the home depot no the home depot
00:31no but you could probably find a place where no one would bug you in there
00:35yeah i guess yeah like anywhere around the carpet area
00:38the appliances i feel like if you'd be alone someone like barb's husband stumbled across
00:44this he'd be very confused oh i'm sure these freaks
00:48yeah stand back barb this guy's on drugs or something
00:56stand back barb that guy's a freaking nature look at the guy
01:03some kind of seance going on or some guy
01:07everyone grab hands i'm just looking for the guy to tell me where the doorknobs are i don't
01:13i don't know where the hell sir what aisle that the doorknobs are over there you work here you're
01:20yes i that's why we're having it here i happen to work yeah i just took my vest off for a second
01:25oh my god
01:26i think i might start going to lowes
01:30according to reports the exorcism was held for the trees that had been involuntarily turned into lumber
01:42oh boy i don't think they understand the basic
01:46that's not how that works that's not what those are for no that's like a tree hugger
01:53yes weird it's not like a seance or something it's like uh these hippies watched a conjuring or
02:00something i don't know what the hell happened there if we don't do something then the trees will come
02:05back i need to release the spirits of the trees
02:08release the spirit of the tree
02:12it'd be a wild thing to just stumble upon yes it would you're looking for lumber every once in a
02:23while yeah i thought maybe they were praying to get the prices to go down but uh you know lumber
02:29prices actually are going down yeah i know crazy day in the home depot yeah i mean at least
02:38at least workers found them there because i've been in the lumber area and i've not seen a soul
02:44so i've been through the whole store i don't have to go there a lot but i did have to buy something
02:48there one time and i had i was trying to find somebody to find out where like safes were
02:52yeah and it did took by the end of it i had like my shirt tied around my head
02:57and my pants were ripped and i had like turned into survivor i had to like fashion a walking stick
03:03by the end
03:06i know
03:11it took a while huh
03:13it actually talked to somebody had a cloudy eye
03:16yeah andy are you how's it going over there in the uh trying to find safes
03:21how's it going in the home depot
03:23i've been living uh
03:24excuse me
03:26i've been surviving off of eating nails
03:31listen uh
03:33sir you can't eat those nails
03:34i've been looking for a home depot employee for three years
03:37as you can see my pants are torn
03:40and i've pooped them
03:42so please sir just tell me what aisle the safes are in
03:47i've been living
03:49sir sir can i can i help you
03:53yes
03:53oh wait i gotta go on my
03:55no
03:55no
03:58that's happened so many times to him
04:03yep that's how it goes
04:04did you ever find the safe
04:07i did it took like forever though
04:09finally yeah
04:10and the ironical part of it lease
04:13was that they were in the first aisle i started in
04:16yep
04:18god my life is a joke
04:20man
04:23oh goodness
04:24yep that's all good
04:25someone said
04:26at the end of it andy looked like robin williams from jumanji
04:29i did
04:29like what year is it
04:30he was in home depot for the whole pandemic
04:34they catch me marking the days
04:37yeah yeah
04:38sir stop writing on our displays
04:41that's the only way i can tell time in here
04:42i don't know what year it is anymore
04:44have you been helped yet
04:46no
04:47oh sorry hold on i just got a phone call
04:49i gotta go
04:50fireproof safes
04:51oh where are you going
04:52come on man
04:53sorry i got a call from the
04:54oh my god
04:55from the wood
04:55oh
04:56there you are
04:57i hear they're having an exorcism over in the lumber department
05:00you better get there
05:01yes yeah i gotta break up an exorcism again
05:04right
05:04bunch of hippies
05:05sitting there warming myself by a fire i made in one of the aisles
05:08sir did you like that fire
05:10yeah i've been trying to find somebody for four years
05:12have you paid for that wood
05:13no not yet because i need to find something else
05:16i came here for a safe four years ago
05:18oh hold on i've just been called to the gardening section
05:21i got
05:21i'll let someone know
05:23they'll come here immediately and help you
05:25oh my god
05:26i'm gonna talk on this fake walkie talkie real quick
05:31you know someone here that i need some stuff
05:33all right they're coming
05:38all right
05:38i broke my leg uh climbing one of the things to get a safe
05:42i need something for splints
05:44did that safe fall on you
05:46yes
05:47yes it did
05:48it was in the first aisle
05:49oh my god
05:50why do you have a torch
05:51because it gets dark in here when they close
05:53i can't find my way out of here
05:55a torch
05:56that's the only thing i could do
05:58there was no like light switches
06:00nothing
06:01to be honest
06:03we all thought you worked here
06:05no
06:06no i've been living here
06:08i thought you were a manager
06:10came here five years ago
06:12looking for a safe
06:14a fireproof safe
06:15to keep my emergency silver in
06:17that's true
06:22yeah that's the truth
06:23that's why that is the truth
06:24that's why i laughed
06:26that's why it's 100% true
06:27yeah
06:28uh my emergency safe
06:30five years later
06:32the price of silver was through the roof
06:35but someone had taken it by the time he got back home
06:39i have $40 worth of silver i need to protect
06:41they can't have people stealing that
06:44$40 worth of emergency survival silver
06:49that silver was going to get him across the country
06:52it was supposed to get him
06:54to where there's medicine
06:55silver needed to get him to his father
06:59that's right
07:00i need to see my dad
07:02and all i have is this stupid silver
07:06by the time he saw his father
07:08his dad had killed an entire city
07:10that's right
07:11and he was the king of a small band of
07:14yeah my dad's a warlord
07:15yeah
07:16oh my god
07:18yeah