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Transcript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:22No!
00:24I hate you.
00:26Let me out of here!
00:38Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:41If you're someone who is new to our show because right to disconnect laws have finally given you back your leisure time, welcome.
00:48I sure can't wait to show you the gold standard for how a boss should treat their employees.
00:54We're Willy!
01:00Look at that right in.
01:05Competing for the Taskmaster Trophy are five comedians.
01:07Sorry, four comedians and Lisa McCune.
01:09Sorry, three comedians and Tommy Little and Lisa McCune.
01:13Sorry, I'll start again.
01:16Competing are five humans.
01:18Sorry, four humans and Dave Hughes.
01:20Wait up.
01:22Let's just welcome them.
01:24Dave Hughes!
01:27Emma Holland!
01:29Lisa McCune!
01:32Takashi Wagasuki!
01:34And Tommy Little.
01:36Hello!
01:40And next to me, the guy whose emotional support blanket is all stiff for some reason.
01:46It's Tom Cashman.
01:47How's it going, Lisa Tom?
01:48Not too bad.
01:49I learnt a fact this week.
01:50Yeah, okay.
01:51Apparently there are more germs on your dining room table than there are on your toilet seat.
01:56Oh.
01:57Because I snuck into your house and did something disgusting to your dining room table.
02:03I'm joking.
02:04I'm joking.
02:05I didn't do anything.
02:06I don't care.
02:07I just licked your earwax.
02:08I couldn't give a shit, Lisa Tom.
02:09Alright, so what's the prize task please?
02:10Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in something they consider to be the
02:11weirdest thing to just casually have up one's sleeve.
02:12Alright, Big Dave Hughes.
02:13What have you brought for us?
02:14I've brought my Aria Award from 2006.
02:15Hang on, did you have a hit single?
02:16No, they didn't.
02:17They didn't.
02:18They didn't.
02:19They didn't.
02:20They didn't.
02:21They didn't.
02:22They didn't.
02:23They didn't.
02:24They didn't.
02:25They didn't.
02:26They didn't.
02:27They didn't.
02:28They didn't.
02:29They didn't.
02:30They didn't.
02:31They didn't.
02:32They didn't.
02:33They didn't.
02:34Did you have a hit single?
02:35No, they have a comedy section and I won in 2006.
02:38Beat out.
02:40It was a long time ago.
02:41So yeah, but they're really heavy and really pointy.
02:46You could kill a burglar with them, no doubt about it.
02:49So to have it up your sleeve would be good because people would say I'm an award winner
02:55and I can, you know, kill them.
02:58Are you saying that you winning an award is also part of the surprise?
03:01So it's like because you look like a loser.
03:03It's like, hang on.
03:04He's a winner.
03:05No, I know.
03:06I hear exactly what you're saying and my subconscious is.
03:10No, but yeah, no.
03:13Yeah.
03:14Anyway, whatever.
03:15I'm rich.
03:16OK, what have you got?
03:21Emma?
03:22Olives.
03:23I'm not talking in the jar.
03:27I'm talking about having those babies loose.
03:29So you just got loose and you got like wet sort of salty water there.
03:33The brine's just a wet sleeve.
03:35Yeah.
03:36I just can't think of a situation where that wouldn't be strange.
03:39And olives are a super food.
03:41We've got to remember that.
03:42So olives are a super food.
03:43Really healthy.
03:44Are you fighting for me?
03:45I'm just saying they're really healthy food and some people watching at home might not realise.
03:50What do you think this is?
03:51The morning show?
03:52Are you going to throw to an infomercial?
03:55What's going on?
03:56But I also think the only thing weirder than having olives up your sleeve is by backing it up with,
04:00they're a super food.
04:05Pretty weird.
04:06Alright, Lisa.
04:07What did you bring in?
04:08After being traumatised by having three children, you become very reliant on wet wipes.
04:13Yeah.
04:14I mean a pack of them and I do think you need a pack, but you know.
04:17But if you had many, it could be like a magic trick where they keep...
04:23So that's a fair point.
04:24I see what you're saying because if you think of things being hidden up a sleeve,
04:27maybe never-ending hankies is something you would expect because it's a classic trick.
04:31Yeah.
04:32Are they a super food?
04:35You know what?
04:36Well they dissolve.
04:37Alright.
04:38Tommy.
04:39I bought magic cards.
04:42Oh.
04:43Yeah.
04:44And the magic thing about them is that they've got nothing on them.
04:47During lockdown I took up magic.
04:49Yeah.
04:50And ironically the only thing that disappeared was my girlfriend.
04:55But these were on a magician's website and they were like,
04:58you've got to have magic cards.
05:01I have no use for them.
05:03Because if you're doing a magic trick and you say select a card, it's never a blank one.
05:09Tommy, just so you know, you're not meant to use only them while doing magic.
05:13You're meant to incorporate them into existing decks of cards to cut out the deck or...
05:17That is where you're wrong because if I use just them and you pick a card,
05:21I know it's going to be a blank one.
05:24But if I put other cards in there, how am I ever supposed to know which one you pick?
05:28Not every card trick is what card did I just pick out.
05:32Everyone that I do, eats.
05:36Okay, so Walker.
05:37Yep.
05:38What would you think would be weird to have up your sleeve?
05:40I think piercing.
05:42Everyone has a tattoo on the sleeve.
05:44A piercing?
05:45Body piercing.
05:46What, like a pierced ear stored up your sleeve?
05:48I don't understand.
05:49Oh, here we go.
05:50No!
05:52Oh my God!
05:54Oh my God!
05:55What?
05:56Ah!
06:00Hang on.
06:01I did that.
06:02Three days ago.
06:03You've got...
06:07Oh, you're the best!
06:10That was my first piercing in my life.
06:12Yeah.
06:13First time.
06:14I never had a pierce before.
06:15Oh, he's got one too!
06:16Wow.
06:17And he's a nice guy.
06:18He's Adam.
06:19And I sent a message, can I get a piercing elbow?
06:20And he goes, oh, I never done that.
06:22Excited.
06:23And I went there.
06:24And he did that before.
06:25In case.
06:26Tested on himself.
06:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:28Best guy.
06:29And he also gave me the voucher.
06:38It's called a weenus piercing.
06:39Weenus.
06:40This bit.
06:41Is that skin there called your weenus?
06:42You said weenus.
06:43All right, we need some scores now.
06:47So we're looking for weird things to be found up your sleeve.
06:50And I think straight away, I think finding cards up a sleeve is probably really obvious.
06:53So one point to Tommy Little.
06:54Okay.
06:55Lisa said that she had flushable wipes.
06:57So that's, I reckon, the second most obvious thing.
06:59Okay.
07:00So two points to Lisa.
07:01Three points to Husey.
07:02Because it would be surprising to find out that he wasn't a loser, he was a winner.
07:07Thanks.
07:08And then I'm going to give four points to Emma.
07:13Because I think seeing olives fall out of her sleeve would be very weird.
07:16But I'm a bit weirded out just by Waka's effort.
07:19By going and getting his weenus beard.
07:21Five points to Waka!
07:25All right.
07:26Good to get the weirdness of the show finished.
07:28Time for something totally normal.
07:30Eureka!
07:31Is what Archimedes would say if he got a load of this next task.
07:38Hi there Sam.
07:39Hi.
07:40I feel like I'm on The Bachelor.
07:41You know.
07:42More tasks?
07:43Mm-hmm.
07:44I missed it.
07:45I missed tasks now.
07:46Oh.
07:47I'm task addiction now.
07:48Wow.
07:49I can't wait.
07:50You always look cheeky.
07:52Always a compliment.
07:53Get the ping pong ball out of the bar.
07:58Hey Tom, let's go go!
07:59I'm at the bar.
08:00I'm at the bar.
08:01I can't wait!
08:02Hi there Sam!
08:03Hi!
08:04I feel like I'm on The Bachelor.
08:05More tasks?
08:06Mm-hmm.
08:07ball out of the bath. You cannot touch or cross the rope. Nothing you are holding can touch water.
08:15Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
08:21I love that. Nothing I'm holding can touch water. That's just impossible.
08:26I have been set up to fail here and that is disappointing because I want to be a winner.
08:30Gusey, it feels like it's only just dawning on you now that all the tasks are stacked against you.
08:40But how did I go?
08:45Are you doing your own cliffhangers?
08:49Seriously, I can't remember how it went.
08:52All right, well, let's get on with it.
08:54All right, the first contestants to Ball, Bath and Beyond are Dave and Emma.
08:57I need a long stick and sticky tape.
08:59Sticky tape and a stick. Sticky tape and a stick.
09:02You're not going to win this.
09:04I've got long things and duct tape. I feel like if I can get above it with the duct tape,
09:09I could maybe get it to stick to it. I can't go over there, can I?
09:11No.
09:14I need a longer stick. Long enough, do you reckon?
09:19Might need one more thing. Shit, I feel like I'm MacGyver.
09:25Careful.
09:30I just think I'm going to touch the water if I do that.
09:32All right, shit, that's long enough, isn't it?
09:34It needs one more thing.
09:36Have you ever had a woman run at you with a golf club before?
09:39Never. I've had one run away.
09:42That sounded worse than I intended it.
09:43Tom!
09:45I'm going to touch the water if I do that.
10:00Is that it?
10:01That's it?
10:02I'm out!
10:04Do you want this?
10:14Do I want this?
10:15Yeah.
10:15No, thank you.
10:16Okay.
10:17That could have been the high point of my whole series.
10:20And it's over.
10:20It was a clear dip.
10:21What a clear dip?
10:23We're done.
10:24Hmm, I'll touch on this.
10:25All right.
10:26So, Emma, that was very good.
10:33It felt like textbook ping pong no water touchy.
10:37Were you pleased with your efforts?
10:38I really thought I'd touch the water a few times.
10:40I was like very, very strict.
10:42Because you can't really see over the angle I was...
10:45Tom, you're not listening to me.
10:46The angle I was at, the rim of the bath was covering my line of sight,
10:51so I couldn't actually see, like, what I was touching.
10:53And I kind of just had to go by, like, feel.
10:56Yeah, it's pretty impressive for Husey to read about it.
11:00Sort of Matrix bullshit going on here.
11:02I like the moment, Husey, when you ran up the hill
11:05and you yelled out sticky tape and a stick to all the crew who didn't give a shit.
11:11And I wasn't happy with how I ran then.
11:12And I ran a lot during the series, so I'm going to be disappointed a lot.
11:15Husey, at one point you said you feel like your MacGyver.
11:18Is that because you also felt like an out-of-date reference?
11:22Yeah, look, MacGyver was a great show.
11:23You can probably see it on Netflix, do you reckon?
11:25Or Paramount, I would say. Go for Paramount.
11:31Paramount Plus, well worth every cent you pay.
11:36So Husey was on track to beat Emma when he did a dip as clear as day.
11:40Emma, with her golf club, taped to a stick, taped to a pinwheel,
11:43took 11 minutes and 16 seconds.
11:45All right. Time to go to a break because nothing says cliffhanger like Husey,
11:50mistakenly dipping the tip.
11:52Stay tuned.
12:08Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:09Taskmaster, the competition is still young and some floaters need a saving.
12:12Right, Tom?
12:13That's right.
12:13Our contestants are trying to knock a ping pong ball out of the bath.
12:16They're not allowed to cross the rope or touch water with anything they're holding.
12:20Next up, like all the most uncomfortable baths, we've got three at once.
12:23It's Lisa, Tommy and Waka.
12:25I'm just going to get an oar and tip the bath rope.
12:28Oh, eh?
12:29Yes.
12:29I think I'm going to win.
12:31Nothing you are holding can touch the water.
12:34Okay.
12:35I was thinking to put buckets or water, put more water, the ball is going to be.
12:43Oh, you mother .
12:45It's heavier than I thought.
12:50Oh, I didn't see that.
12:52Okay.
12:54Oh, that messed up.
12:55I just don't want to break anything.
12:57I've lost my tyre.
13:11Watch out.
13:15Oh, pretty good.
13:27Quite an attachment to this tyre.
13:31I mean, we could be here a while.
13:39All right.
13:40Calm down.
13:41Calm down?
13:42Me.
13:43I just took it myself.
13:45Breathe.
13:47Hey, Waka.
13:48Don't talk.
13:49Okay.
13:50I think.
13:54I'm going to back to water again.
13:55Okay.
13:57I mean, I could have a go on that tyre.
14:03I couldn't get the first one in, so what says that I'm going to get this one in?
14:07Oh, come on.
14:19It's impossible.
14:23I'm having a great day with my throwing.
14:24All right.
14:31It's moving.
14:35How about if you have something heavy through the water?
14:39I feel like maybe I should just throw that tyre at it.
14:42Add it.
14:43Up to you.
14:44Okay.
14:46Be careful, everyone.
14:47Okay.
14:54Hey!
14:54You think you've beaten the others?
15:11I doubt it.
15:12One, two, three, two, one.
15:26Oh, so, Waka, you got there in the end.
15:29Yes.
15:30You must have felt so relieved.
15:32Yes.
15:32I got so sore for my body because I run so much.
15:36The water passed.
15:37Well, we like to pretend this show's clever and rewards lateral thinking and being intelligent,
15:42but sometimes it's just fun watching people throw heavy shit into a barn.
15:46What were you thinking, Tommy, with the records?
15:48Were you just trying to fling it out?
15:49Yeah, I thought I was channeling Xena Warrior Princess and I was so agonisingly close about
15:564,000 times.
15:58I did like the way that you chiseled away the plug hole for a while.
16:00What did that come to?
16:01Nothing.
16:02Yeah, but also plugs often have a little grate at the bottom of it,
16:05so you could have drained the whole bath and then the ping pong would have been sitting
16:07at the bottom of the bath.
16:10Thank God we didn't get to that.
16:14Now, Lisa, I feel like your tyre spotting skills were not...
16:17No, I know.
16:19Were not ideal.
16:19I was trying to create a tidal wave.
16:21Yeah.
16:22It just took a while.
16:23Bad, I didn't have my glasses on.
16:27Can I just say, I took a promo shot in that bath later on in the series, so yeah, nude.
16:34And the relevance of that was?
16:35Well, check the Daily Mail.
16:38And Hughes, when you were in the bath nude, was everyone throwing tyres at you trying to get you out?
16:48I feel like we need some results here, some scores.
16:51Well, Lisa took six minutes and ten seconds.
16:54Oh my God, I'm close.
16:55Tommy took just five seconds more, six minutes and 15 seconds.
16:58Oh.
16:59Waka spent 19 minutes just running back and forth,
17:03filling up buckets of water and in total took 31 minutes and 34 seconds.
17:07OK, so Hughes is disqualified.
17:13That's right.
17:13Hughes is on zero.
17:14Waka gets two points.
17:15Emma takes home three.
17:17Tommy gets four, but Lisa wins the task with five points.
17:19Oh my God!
17:20I won a task!
17:23And in terms of the episode, Dave and Tommy are trailing the pack on three and five,
17:28with Emma, Lisa and Waka all on seven points apiece.
17:30With that all washed away, we'd better get to the next one, Cashman.
17:37This task will be unfamiliar to Tom Gleeson's loyal fans,
17:40because unlike nothing sus, this is about encouraging a medium amount of susness.
17:49We'll be on play.
18:01How are you?
18:02So many cushions again.
18:04So many cushions.
18:05Unnecessary.
18:06I apologise.
18:07Don't worry.
18:07Ugh!
18:09Pineapple.
18:10Yeah.
18:10Is it real or fake?
18:11Real.
18:12Is it?
18:13Real.
18:17All right.
18:18Let's do it, man.
18:20Do something sus, but not too sus, with this pineapple.
18:23Most sus loses.
18:25Least sus get two points.
18:27Second least sus gets three points.
18:29Second most sus gets four points.
18:32Middle most sus wins.
18:34You have 20 minutes.
18:35Your time starts now.
18:37Do you do many things that are sus?
18:39Not with a pineapple.
18:40I'm a bit sus.
18:42According to my wife, I'm a bit sneaky.
18:43I don't think I'm a sus person.
18:45You're not the least sus person.
18:47Yeah, that's Malala.
18:48I'm just trying to work out who I think would do the most sus.
18:51What the others would do?
18:52Yeah.
18:53I don't know how wild Lisa McCune is.
18:55Because she might be like, well, everyone's going to shove this up their ass.
18:58So what?
18:59Do it twice.
19:02How do you do it twice?
19:03There will be others who are better at this than me.
19:06Those with more sick minds.
19:08Well, I mean, we're all thinking it.
19:11I'm going to say it.
19:12Up my ass.
19:19This is already the second time in this series that Tommy Little's solution has been to jam something
19:23up his ass.
19:25All right.
19:26Well, who do we have first, Lesser Tom?
19:27Our first sus attempt to sus out is Emma Holland.
19:30Hello, welcome to my nice and normal shop.
19:32It's so wholesome here.
19:37Oh, hi, Tom.
19:37I'm sorry, customer.
19:38Oh, I'm just here to do my weekly shopping.
19:41Well, let me just start checking that out for you.
19:42Is it just me or there's a weird energy around here?
19:46I don't know what you're talking about.
19:47You guys don't have any cigarettes, do you?
20:07Welcome to border security.
20:10Do you have anything to declare?
20:11No.
20:12There's something strange.
20:13I'm getting a strange energy from you.
20:14I don't know what you're talking about.
20:17I'm getting Siggy's G free.
20:25Emma, I feel like you're going for real medium level sus energy there.
20:29Do you think you achieved it?
20:30I don't know.
20:31Tom just was like, what's the most sus you can think of?
20:33And I said loitering outside a shopping centre.
20:37Yeah, but that's some real mid-level susness.
20:40But it's still sus though.
20:43And is that not what we are trying to achieve here?
20:45Yeah, I was pretty impressed by it.
20:48The only thing I'm concerned about is technically,
20:50were you doing something sus with a pineapple?
20:52Or was a pineapple being sus near you?
20:55That's synantics.
20:55Maybe you weren't being sus at all.
20:56That's all linguistics.
20:58I think what's important is how you feel.
21:00And let's refer back to the previous 30 seconds.
21:05So I shouldn't use logic or the rules.
21:07I should just go on how I feel.
21:09Absolutely.
21:10The way women do.
21:17Well, like an idiot would say to their way hotter girlfriend,
21:20right before going backpacking,
21:22we need to go on a break.
21:23See you after this.
21:24Welcome back to Taskmaster,
21:38where competitors are trying to be sus, but not the most sus.
21:42Yeah, also not the least sus.
21:43They're trying to be medium amount of sus.
21:45Medium.
21:45Medium amount of susness.
21:47Grouped as two together because they have one-track minds.
21:50It's Dave and Tommy.
21:51I'm just going to end up sticking a pineapple down my pants up.
21:56Can I put it down the front of my pants?
21:58I'm just going to put it in your pants and go for a wander.
22:01Wander around and see if anyone notices.
22:02I'll see if you notice.
22:03Do you want to play a game?
22:04Sure.
22:05Let's play pineapple pants parachute.
22:07Do you want me to put a parachute on it?
22:09Yeah.
22:09Okay.
22:10Um, let's go.
22:12What are we going to do this afternoon?
22:19I've got a problem.
22:20I don't think I can get my pants open enough.
22:23What's the solution?
22:24The parachute pineapple penis drop,
22:26and I'll just lie down and you just drop it on my penis.
22:28Okay, you've got 23 seconds.
22:29Okay, hang on.
22:30I'm going to guess no pineapple.
22:34Am I correct?
22:36You're being genuine right now.
22:37Yep.
22:40What's the answer?
22:43Is it down your pants or not?
22:45Oh, no.
22:46I need to wax.
22:48It was.
22:50Okay.
22:51Pineapple penis drop.
22:53Go.
22:54Pineapple penis drop, go!
22:56Oh.
22:56Pineapple penis drop, go!
22:58Oh!
23:07How are you feeling?
23:08You okay?
23:10I wasn't, I suppose, expecting to say this, but could you do me another round?
23:14Okay.
23:15I was quite proud of how accurate I was, to be honest.
23:18What are you saying?
23:19The target wasn't big?
23:21I wasn't saying that, but your insecurity in that area makes me think that perhaps it wasn't.
23:25You think it's down my pants?
23:36You're standing in quite a strange way now.
23:39I suspect that that's because you're trying to make it now look like you do have something
23:41down your pants.
23:43I'm going to again guess that you don't have a pineapple down your pants.
23:46It's your final guess?
23:47That's my final guess.
23:48It's still down my pants, man.
23:51I've been an absolute fool.
23:52I think I've won this game.
23:55Thanks, Tom.
23:56Thanks, Tommy.
24:04Husey and Tommy, you've both done a lot of commercial radio,
24:06and I feel like you both went for the most obvious things straight away.
24:10But I feel like there's almost nothing sus about yours at all, Tommy.
24:13It just felt like it had jackass vibes.
24:15Yes, it did.
24:17And can I just say, contrary to popular belief, it did not make my taste sweeter.
24:21So...
24:22LAUGHTER
24:23Wow.
24:25Wow.
24:28Have you had that joke in your back pocket for about two months?
24:31LAUGHTER
24:31I just thought of it, but I got nervous to say it.
24:35LAUGHTER
24:36Did you have any protection?
24:37I mean, that was a very dangerous thing to do, honestly.
24:39Yes, Husey, I was wearing a condom the whole time.
24:41LAUGHTER
24:46Alright, so I feel like yours wasn't very sus at all, Tommy, to be fair,
24:49but Husey, just you walking out from behind a garden shed
24:53with no pineapple in your pants, really sus.
24:55So sus.
24:57Yeah, I don't know what happened to the pineapple.
25:00I think it might have ended up being eaten, and I hope it was, because...
25:03You know what?
25:03Wasting food is a sin, so...
25:06I reckon what you did to that pineapple was a sin.
25:08LAUGHTER
25:10And that's a superfood, you know that.
25:11APPLAUSE
25:15OK, let's see the next one.
25:17Least familiar with the slang word, but all too familiar with the concept.
25:20It's Takashi Makasugi.
25:22Thank you so much for coming.
25:24Thank you, thank you.
25:25Last night, the giraffe got killed by someone, murder,
25:30who was hit by something hard.
25:32Wow.
25:33In this house, only five animals.
25:36One of these, yeah, characters committed the murder.
25:39I think so.
25:39Also, next to the giraffe, there's something like this.
25:42Oh, these are the potential weapons.
25:44Yeah.
25:44Who did that, and what's the weapon?
25:49Who has to guess?
25:50Us.
25:51OK.
25:51I'm detective, bro.
25:53You can see.
25:55I'm doing sass, or I'm...
26:01You're a suspect.
26:02I was there.
26:02I think I was there, too.
26:04What a switch.
26:05I didn't see that coming.
26:06The person is very dangerous.
26:07Angry person.
26:10We found blood.
26:11This is the weapon killed a giraffe.
26:13You did you do that?
26:14No, I swear.
26:15Did you do it?
26:16No, no.
26:17Don't sass.
26:18I do sass.
26:18Oh, sorry.
26:19You're doing sass?
26:20I got sassed by you.
26:22I'm not sure what you're saying.
26:24Me neither.
26:25Wait.
26:27Oh, my goodness.
26:28That's a bit of blood on the end of the robot.
26:31It's open and shut?
26:32Yeah.
26:32Robo, did you do this?
26:34Let's find out last night.
26:37Is this a recreation?
26:38Yeah.
26:39I think I was there, too.
26:41The person is very dangerous.
26:42Angry person.
26:44Did you do it?
26:45No, no.
26:46Shit.
26:48We found blood.
26:50It's open and shut.
26:51Yeah.
26:54Was that a recreation of you doing it?
26:56I still don't know what is sass, but that's why I did it both.
27:00I did sass and I got sassed.
27:03Sorry, we've got 20 seconds left.
27:04Can you please clarify who did the crime?
27:08Me.
27:09So, Waka, you said you did sass and you got sussed.
27:19That's a...
27:20I still don't understand what sass means.
27:23Yeah, well, you...
27:24What's a sassy people?
27:25Well, in Australian slang, sass is short for suspicious.
27:29Yeah.
27:30You get suspicion or you will suspicion?
27:32Dodgy.
27:33You're dodgy.
27:33You're like, you're dodgy.
27:36Hey, man, come on, come on.
27:37Jesus.
27:40Yeah, I feel like it was the first whodunit where we were trying to figure out who was
27:44the culprit and who was the detective.
27:47I got so confused.
27:51I thought it was so clever.
27:53I loved it.
27:54I loved it.
27:54And I still don't know I did sass yet.
27:56I felt like I was watching a thriller.
27:58When you sat down, I'm like, oh, my God.
28:01All right, well, who's next, Cashman?
28:03Probably the least likely to act suss.
28:05Thank God she's good at acting.
28:06It's Lisa McKeown.
28:07Oh, my God.
28:09Miss Penelope.
28:11Master Tom.
28:12Thank you for calling me a master.
28:14I'm here because I'm a gentleman caller and I'm interested in your hand.
28:17As a lady, I can't actually come out and tell you how much I love you.
28:21I mean, I didn't say that, but I admire you.
28:24Oh.
28:25And I've been thinking how I could signify it for you to show you how much I care.
28:30Oh, that'd be great.
28:33Oh, my God.
28:36Is that a pineapple?
28:37Don't let anybody see.
28:39Of course not.
28:39It's been between my legs.
28:41It's for you to eat.
28:42Oh.
28:44Bit intense, but I appreciate it.
28:45Someone's coming.
28:46I must be off.
28:54Oh, my God.
28:58He didn't do that to my pineapple, did he?
29:00It unfortunately was the same pineapple.
29:03Oh, no.
29:05That is just so bad.
29:07I got a visual on that.
29:08It was not good.
29:09So, Lisa, the sus action was that you had a pineapple between your legs.
29:14Yeah.
29:15But I find you so wholesome that even when you said that, I thought,
29:17that sounds reasonable.
29:18She was probably keeping it warm.
29:21I could think of no other connotations.
29:23I didn't think it was like that.
29:23I thought the pearl necklace and everything was really sus.
29:27I thought that there were other things going on.
29:30That is the most rich lady thing I've ever heard in my life.
29:33I'm trying, I'm just trying to get some points.
29:35Yeah.
29:37So, I think it's going to be easier for me if I just work through order of susness
29:40and then we allocate the points afterwards.
29:42So, these aren't the points.
29:43But I think the least sus had to be Waka because he didn't even know what sus meant.
29:47I watch everything and I still don't get it.
29:49Yeah, well, there you go.
29:50And then I'm going to say Lisa McCune is, uh, second least sus.
29:54I'm saying the most sus is Dave Hughes.
29:56Just him lurking near any building looks sus straight up.
29:58The second most sus is, uh, Emma.
30:00The pineapple looking for cigarettes was really quite sus in the end.
30:03Okay.
30:04But weirdly enough, landing right in the middle,
30:08just by a process of elimination, is Tommy Little.
30:18So, Dave Hughes was most sus, so he gets one point.
30:21Maka gets two points.
30:22Don't try and start your own applause.
30:25Lisa gets three, Emma gets four, but Tommy takes the task with five points.
30:28Whoop!
30:30Okay.
30:31Things are spicing up, so use this break to crack out the yoghurt.
30:34See you in a bit.
30:35Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that's tremendous for the viewer,
30:51turbulent for the players, and tedious for me.
30:54We've seen it all so far, Cashman.
30:56That's right, we've rescued a ping pong ball from a bath
30:58and a pineapple from Dave Hughes's pants.
31:01Now we're off to a warehouse that will have you asking,
31:04where is the house?
31:05It's our first ever journey to a different location.
31:17It's our first ever journey to a different location.
31:36Hi, Tommy.
31:37Hey, Tom.
31:39Hi, Lisa.
31:40Hi, Tom.
31:41How are you?
31:42I'm okay.
31:44This is a big room.
31:45It feels like the final scene in like a drug movie or something.
31:51I can't tell you how much I love opening these.
31:53Move a box or by the red line.
31:56Each turn, you must hide behind the box.
32:01If Tom guesses the box you're behind, all boxes must be returned at the start.
32:07If Tom fails to guess the box you're behind, you may move your boxes forward.
32:11The number of box moves you can make is the row number of the box you successfully hid behind.
32:19Once a box is past the red line, you must deceive Tom one more time.
32:24Least hidings to get a box over the line wins.
32:27Your time starts now.
32:31Okay, okay.
32:32Great.
32:32That's so much fun.
32:34Okay, let the hiding begin.
32:39All right, we're at a new location there, which I love, but just to get this right,
32:43it's a benefit to hide behind a box in row five, because then you get to move the box five places.
32:49That's right.
32:50But at the same time, you're going to more likely guess that they're there,
32:53because they're going to go for that advantage.
32:54Unless they're double-tricking.
32:56Okay.
32:56Then the mind games begin.
32:59Okay, listen Tom, who's sneaking around first?
33:01Like a well-endowed cricketer, they're hoping a box will be enough to protect them.
33:04It's Emma, Lisa and Tommy.
33:07I'm going to choose to involve mind games as well.
33:10I'm going to hide behind this box here.
33:13Five, four, three, two, one.
33:18I officially predict that you are behind the a bit left box.
33:23The middle box.
33:24No.
33:25The extreme left box.
33:30I'm going to hide behind this box again.
33:32The a bit left box.
33:33Damn it.
33:34The extreme right box.
33:36Damn it.
33:37The middle box.
33:38That's incorrect.
33:39You can now move two spaces.
33:41Oh.
33:42I'm going to hide behind the middle box.
33:44The middle box.
33:45How did you do it?
33:47The extreme left box.
33:51How are you so good at this?
33:53I'm in your head, Emma.
33:55I'm going to hide behind the middle box.
33:56The middle box.
33:57Damn it.
33:58The middle box.
34:01I just need you to know if you guessed right on this one, I might have a breakdown.
34:04I predict you're behind the a bit left box.
34:09Tom.
34:09The extreme right box.
34:11What?
34:12The a bit right box.
34:14What the?
34:15The a bit right box.
34:19The middle box.
34:22The extreme right box.
34:23The a bit right box.
34:27You're behind the a bit right box.
34:29No.
34:30I was correct.
34:31Please move all boxes back to the start.
34:33I thought you said the extreme right.
34:35Sorry.
34:36That was me getting a bit cross.
34:38Are you ready for the next fighting?
34:39Yeah.
34:40Let's go.
34:40Congratulations, you've got a box over the line.
34:49You must deceive me one final time.
34:53Five, four, three, two, one.
35:02I heard what I would describe as performative footsteps just then.
35:05Does this mean you're in the middle box?
35:07You're behind the a bit left box.
35:09Which one?
35:11Not that one.
35:12Yes!
35:13Yes!
35:13Yes!
35:14Yes!
35:15The a bit left box.
35:17You idiot!
35:19Yes!
35:19I'm going to predict that you are behind the a bit right box.
35:29Let me out of here!
35:35This task looked very stressful.
35:37Yeah.
35:38Which I really enjoyed.
35:40But let's just start with the Tommy Little mind games.
35:43Your mind game was you kept telling him when you were going to hide and then you kept doing it
35:49several times in a row.
35:50Yes.
35:52Talk me through the mind games.
35:53Because I thought he'd think at some point that I'd start lying to him.
35:56But I would never.
36:00And so I kept telling the truth and he kept guessing the truth.
36:03Lisa, why do I feel like it's totally in character that you losing your temper was just softly pushing
36:08over a box and then straight away apologising for it?
36:12Well, because I didn't want to really lose it in front of Tom because I didn't want to scare him.
36:16We were in a lonely warehouse with boxes. I didn't want to scare him.
36:20You didn't.
36:21Emma, you took your shoes off. Do you think that was the winning move?
36:27I just need you to know I hated every second of that.
36:31I took my shoe off and put it just next to a box so you could just see my shoe to make Tom think
36:36I was behind another box.
36:37And did you hide behind that box?
36:38Uh, sometimes.
36:40See Tommy?
36:43So sometimes yes, sometimes no. Not every single time.
36:46Not every single time.
36:47It's good to know now.
36:50So we're measuring the number of hiding rounds.
36:53Emma took 45 rounds for her to complete the game.
36:56Tommy's mind games still took him 35 hiding rounds.
37:00But Lisa only took 26 hiding.
37:02Oh my god, I found my calling.
37:05All right.
37:06Cashman, another.
37:08He's already deceived me with pineapple in the pants.
37:10Will he deceive me again? It's Husey.
37:13Three, two, one.
37:17I predict you are behind the middle box.
37:23The middle box.
37:26Three, two, one.
37:29The extreme right box.
37:32The a bit right box.
37:34I'm a bit left, aren't I?
37:36Good.
37:37The middle box.
37:40Yeah?
37:41Wow.
37:41What a lovely box that would be to hide behind.
37:44Are you going to do it on the next round?
37:46I honestly don't know right now.
37:48Let the hiding begin.
37:50Three, two, one.
37:53I predict that you are hiding behind the extreme left box.
38:02You did it.
38:03I'm over.
38:04I need to do it one more time.
38:06Three, two, one.
38:09I'm turning around.
38:10I predict you are behind the a bit left box.
38:16You just couldn't get me, could you?
38:28You didn't get me once.
38:29You didn't beat me once.
38:32Thanks, Dave.
38:41So, Hughsy, is this the first time you've sailed through something in your career and
38:44found something very easy that everyone else struggles with?
38:47It was amazing.
38:48And I can tell you the film crew, they carried me from their shoulder.
38:53We had an early lunch that day.
38:55It was wonderful.
38:56And I just, yeah, I hope my kids are watching.
39:00Your daddy did it.
39:01OK, shall we reveal how many moves?
39:04So, Dave finished in just 11 minutes and 51 seconds, taking only eight rounds.
39:09Eight rounds.
39:11All right, it's time for a break.
39:12See you soon.
39:26Welcome back to Task Pass.
39:27The weather contestant playing a game true to my heart,
39:30hide from Tom Cashman.
39:32That's right.
39:33We've just got one left and it's wakka.
39:35Three, two, one.
39:39I predict you are behind the extreme right box.
39:44It's so much fun.
39:44I like it.
39:45Can I do this?
39:47The a bit right box.
39:49This is a great idea, doing this.
39:51I don't see how it changes much, to be honest.
39:53The middle box.
39:55Why you can't find it?
39:57It's like five options.
39:58The extreme right box.
40:01Yeah, I love it.
40:02I'm enjoying it.
40:03You are behind the middle box.
40:06That's crazy.
40:07The entire pants, behind the middle box.
40:10The middle box.
40:15Am I stupid or are you just amazing?
40:16Those options are not mutually exclusive.
40:22You are behind the a bit right box.
40:26Damn it.
40:29The extreme left box.
40:32You have two box moves.
40:34Two.
40:36Why?
40:38The number of box moves you get is the row that the box is on.
40:42Ah!
40:42I was behind the number two.
40:48The extreme right box.
40:49The middle box.
40:50The extreme right box.
40:52The a bit right box.
40:53The extreme left box.
40:56That makes me scared actually.
40:57You know, I was surprised but now I'm scared.
41:00The a bit right box.
41:01The extreme right box.
41:03The middle box.
41:05Now finally I understand this task.
41:08You are behind the a bit right box.
41:14Please take all boxes back to the start.
41:20Nothing much I can say anymore.
41:30Three, two, one.
41:33I'm turning around.
41:35I saw the socks being thrown.
41:36You are behind the extreme left box.
41:40That's genuinely amazing.
41:41I'm turning around.
41:43The a bit left box.
41:45Yes!
41:46Socks is the best.
41:50You are behind the middle box.
41:51The a bit left box.
42:03The a bit left box.
42:05The extreme right box.
42:06The a bit right box.
42:08Oh, I accidentally said a bit right box.
42:11And then a bit left box.
42:12But oh my god, I was right.
42:15The middle box.
42:17The middle box.
42:18The extreme left box.
42:23One, two, three.
42:25You must deceive me one more time.
42:27Thank you so much for this task.
42:29Don't talk like it's over, Wakka.
42:31This is final box.
42:33Three, two, one.
42:36Where are you, Wakka?
42:41I predict you are behind the middle box.
42:48That was exhausting to watch.
43:16to watch me too oh it's fun task and a fast every night I enjoy the kids game
43:23and the middle I start thinking about what is life
43:30so with that last one was your heart racing I didn't feel anything
43:37there's no emotion just no emotion I did everything my life like experience
43:44no rage everything I tried it and didn't walk so I didn't feel anything
43:49all right well I feel like we need to find out how he did
43:54Waka took 103 rounds and one hour 35 minutes and 51 seconds
43:59so Waka takes one point Emma gets two Tommy gets three Lisa gets four but Husey takes out the task
44:08with five points and in terms of our episode it's close at the top of the leaderboard
44:14with Tommy and Emma on 13 points but one luckier it's Lisa leading the episode with 14 points at the moment
44:19oh wow well no time for Waka level mucking around let's get you all up on stage for the live task
44:27all right Lisa Tom set the scene I think I'm going to ask Emma to read this task
44:36my olives
44:39do some acting
44:50in turns choose a scene from a trophy then act it out
44:54the two most brilliant actors and the two most terrible actors will proceed
44:58to the next round you get 10 seconds for each scene
45:01so I'm going to ask Lisa to act first if the other four of you could please
45:04sit down here
45:07oh okay
45:09oh you
45:11you
45:13I said it I said it
45:18Emma you're up next
45:21well howdy partner you come down this saloon often
45:25Tommy what no no he's not mine no he doesn't this happens all the time he's not mine
45:40the time has been banned
45:41I don't know
45:49bukan прокundy
45:50no I don't mean it
45:51no why
45:53I don't say no heŽ sins
45:54make good
45:55no I don't think they're gonna go
45:58me
45:59I don't back
46:01Oh, nice.
46:05So maybe you want some...
46:15I would say that Lisa was the best,
46:17Waka was second best,
46:19the two worst was Tommy and Dave.
46:21That means Emma is eliminated!
46:25And now for round two,
46:27only the most brilliant and the most terrible acting
46:29will go through.
46:30Tommy, you are the first actor.
46:32Come on, Papa needs this!
46:33Come on!
46:34Come on!
46:35Yes!
46:36Yes!
46:37Diddy!
46:38Diddy?
46:39Diddy!
46:41Waka, you're up next.
46:46Red or brew?
46:47Red or brew?
46:48Which one?
46:49Red or brew?
46:50Brew!
46:56Lisa is up next.
46:57And I believe that that man
46:59is not the man
47:00is not the man who you want
47:01leading this nation.
47:06Dave.
47:07Hmm, what should I buy today?
47:11Young man, can you help me?
47:13Can you?
47:14Is it?
47:15Is it?
47:16Is it Jimmy?
47:17I am your father!
47:18Father!
47:19Ha ha ha ha!
47:20Ha ha ha ha!
47:22So, it's pretty easy for me.
47:24Lisa's at the top, Hughes is at the bottom.
47:25Oh!
47:26Okay.
47:27Okay, great!
47:28Waka and Tommy are eliminated!
47:31Alright, we've seen a lot of acting up there on the stage.
47:33I feel like I've been part of the theatre.
47:35See you after the interval.
47:48Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:50We're in the throes of witnessing some Oscar worthy and some golden raspberry worthy performances.
47:54Tom, what have we got?
47:55For this, the final round.
47:57The person who wins will be the person who does the most terrible acting.
48:01Lisa, you are the first actor.
48:03You are the first actor.
48:04Well, Dave!
48:05He shot me in the back!
48:15Hughes, just be yourself.
48:23Come on, Jimmy!
48:24Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!
48:27It's Daddy!
48:28Come to Daddy!
48:33Oh!
48:34Oh!
48:35Oh!
48:36Oh!
48:37Oh!
48:38Oh!
48:39Oh!
48:40Okay, come on down and let's get the final scores.
48:42Oh!
48:47Alright, so who is cleaning up at the awards season for their acting lesser, Tom?
48:52Well, you have the unenviable task of choosing who is the worst actor, Lisa McCune or Dave Hughes?
48:58I suspect that Husey decided to try to act really well and in so doing it was horrible.
49:06So I think the worst performance was Husey.
49:08Okay.
49:10That means Emma takes one point, Waka and Tommy both get three, Lisa gets four but Dave Hughes wins the task with five points.
49:19Yeah.
49:20That's two wins.
49:21Two wins, Husey.
49:22And what does that do for the whole episode?
49:24Well, Waka's on 13 points, Dave and Emma both on 14, Tommy on 16 but Lisa has won the episode with 18 points.
49:31Oh my god.
49:32Woo!
49:33Alright, congrats, Lisa.
49:34Get up onto that stage to playing your prize.
49:39Well, what have we learnt?
49:40Waka taught us what a weenus is by mutilating his.
49:44And a poor pineapple learnt that even being a superfood won't save you from Husey's undies.
49:51Good work, Lisa.
49:52Don't forget to thank your agent and the Academy.
49:54Goodnight.
50:01Welcome back to Taskmaster where we've just been hanging out with our wangs out.
50:17Can I pee or?
50:20Shit, you dickheads.
50:22Are you not entertained?
50:25If you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go yourself.