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This is the greatest snow white review of All Time
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Get Goof Juice https://gamersupps.gg/?ref=moist
This is the greatest snow white review of All Time
Get a Starforge PC https://starforgepc.com/moist-yt
Comics https://badegg.co/
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NewsTranscript
00:00Hello down there. I just finished watching the Snow White live-action remake, and now
00:06I'm leaving the parking lot on my way home.
00:10I wasn't going to see it initially because I'm beyond tired of live-action remakes. I don't like them.
00:16I do not like Green Eggs and Ham, and
00:20the only reason I decided to go see this one is
00:24because somehow there was a lot of hype for it with people saying it's one of the best live-action remakes ever made.
00:31Now that I finished it, I can say I disagree.
00:36I apologize for the wacky camera angle here that looks like it's filming a dick pic,
00:42but I wanted to just give you my raw thoughts
00:47immediately after seeing it.
00:49I didn't really like it.
00:51I know there was a lot of controversy with the movie.
00:55Don't really know what it all was. I didn't pay too much attention.
00:57I know the star Rachel Zegler apparently had like some bad interviews or something, and
01:03Gal Gadot, people say, is like the worst actress of our generation.
01:09Couldn't tell you. All I know is I didn't like the movie.
01:14So, setting aside the the controversy with it, was the film good in its own right?
01:21Not to me, it wasn't.
01:23But, I'm also not the Target demographic anymore. I'm a fucking 30 year old greaseball.
01:30The Snow White remake, it shares a little bit in common with the original,
01:36but it feels like it wanted to carve its own path. It's a little bit longer,
01:41than the original, so it adds a little bit more. Not a ton,
01:45but it adds things that nobody gives a fuck about.
01:49And it really feels like there was two different visions for the film that ended up clashing.
01:54So, they have the seven dwarves, but they also have seven bandits,
01:59which I don't get the point of. The only bandit that matters is the main one,
02:05Jonathan.
02:07Every other bandit, I don't think they even had a name.
02:10There was like one scene where they said one of their names,
02:13but you don't know who the fuck they're talking about,
02:15because they have never mentioned any of them by name.
02:18I don't know why they're here. It feels like they're the remnants
02:22of what the original direction was for this remake. It feels like, at least,
02:26that's my little fucking tinfoil condom conspiracy theory.
02:29It feels like the seven bandits were supposed to replace the dwarves,
02:33but then they decided not to do that.
02:36So now you have the seven bandits and the seven dwarves,
02:39and it just doesn't mesh well at all.
02:42Really, most of the movie I don't think meshes super well.
02:46There's a lot of new songs in it that I didn't recognize from the original,
02:49and I thought they blew ass. I just wasn't a fan.
02:53But there was a couple songs that I recognized from the original,
02:57and they were fine. Those were kind of fun.
02:59Truthfully, I just don't have a whole lot to say about the movie,
03:02because it is absolutely just not for me.
03:06Also, I feel like I'm shouting at the phone screen right now,
03:10like I've got headphones on, but it is what it is.
03:14It's just, I don't, like, I really feel like I'm at this point
03:19in Shakespeare's life where I'm like,
03:22I don't know what I'm talking about.
03:25Like, I really feel like I'm at this point shaking my fist to the clouds.
03:30I don't really, don't see why you'd ever choose to watch this over the original.
03:37Like, it's not a bad movie, really. Like, it's not even terrible.
03:41I think there's things about it that don't really work for me, personally.
03:45But again, it's not for me. I'm not a six-year-old.
03:49But like, when I'm watching this and remembering the original,
03:52Poison Apple in the original, for example, big deal.
03:55Like, an actual huge piece of the original.
03:58In this one, it's nothing. It is beyond nothing.
04:03So like, the evil...
04:09So when Snow White gets the poison apple by Gal Gadot,
04:13she takes a bite and then she gets the sleeping death.
04:16Well, she only stays sleeping dead for like ten minutes.
04:21It was a sleeping snooze.
04:23Like, she actually just took a nap because she was only in that state for two scenes,
04:28and then Jonathan came up and gave her a kiss.
04:31And then she was immediately freed from it.
04:33So like, it doesn't even feel like there's ever anything at stake.
04:37It doesn't even feel, like, serious.
04:40It just...
04:42It's crazy to say this, but it feels like it moves so fucking fast
04:45despite being longer than the original,
04:48and yet offers less reasons to get invested, if that makes sense.
04:53Like, I shit you not, she gets the fucking poison apple,
04:56she falls asleep with Gal Gadot laying down all the evil stuff she's done.
05:01The dwarves come up and they're like, oh, jinkies.
05:04So then they hold like a fucking Viking burial, kind of.
05:07They put her on a rock, and they're like lamenting that she's shed the mortal coil.
05:12And like, it switches to the other scene with Jonathan,
05:15the other scene with Jonathan who breaks out of the castle,
05:18and then he immediately shows up, and they're still there,
05:21like, over her body, her corpse.
05:23So I think it's really only been like five minutes.
05:25They haven't even begun the funeral.
05:27And Jonathan shows up, kisses her, and she's fine.
05:29So like, it never really feels like anything's a big deal.
05:34So you're kind of just there to enjoy the music more so than anything,
05:37which I wasn't liking.
05:40And to be honest, while it's just me and you here,
05:43I walked out of the movie.
05:45And I'm kind of embarrassed to say that because I never walk out of movies.
05:49And this movie, like I said, is even like the worst movie I've ever seen or anything.
05:52It's not even the worst live-action remake I've seen.
05:56But I walked out with like the last 15 minutes because I was just so fucking bored.
06:01I really was just really in like a trance, like a fugue state, and I was ready to leave.
06:07So maybe the ending really saves it.
06:10Maybe the ending ties it all together with an absolute masterpiece, but I doubt it.
06:15Now, as someone who starred in The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1,
06:19I feel qualified to opine on acting performances.
06:23And I would say it was fine overall.
06:27Like, I actually think Rachel Zegler did a good job as Snow White.
06:31Like, she didn't do anything like crazy.
06:33It wasn't, you know, some kind of Oscar-worthy performance,
06:36but I thought it was really just fine.
06:38Gal Gadot, on the other hand, I do not think was the right choice for this role.
06:44It feels like she wanted to go like over-the-top and like ham it up, but was a little reserved.
06:49Like, didn't really commit to going crazy with it.
06:53And then it just kind of peters in this really bad purgatory of just being flat.
07:00Like, she's never over-the-top enough that it becomes charming and like Disney villain-like.
07:06But it's also not played seriously enough to the point where you like take her seriously,
07:10so she's just kind of dull.
07:13And everyone else around them, they don't have a big enough role to play for me to give a fuck
07:18to even talk about their performances.
07:20I guess, except for maybe Jonathan.
07:22But Jonathan, he just had to be in love with Snow White immediately, and that's kind of it.
07:28So he didn't really get a whole lot to do besides that.
07:32Anyway, though, that's kind of my review of Snow White live-action 2025.
07:39I didn't like it very much.
07:41But I imagine if you're six years old or you just really like Disney live-action remakes,
07:49you'll probably be pretty satisfied with the film, I think, most likely.
07:54Yeah, that's really about it.
07:58I'm driving right now, and I don't like to take my eyes off the road.
08:01So when I get to the next red light, I'll stop the recording.
08:15Hopefully you're having a good day.
08:18My day's really all right.
08:20I haven't done too much today except go see that movie.
08:24I guess I don't regret seeing it.
08:25I guess it was worth giving it a try.
08:27Now I know for sure I'm probably done with live-action remakes.
08:31You know what I mean?