Metatube
  • 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00This is like the Marvel intro, cool.
00:10Yeah you'd be hard pressed to find someone who enjoys Assassin's Creed games less than
00:14me, but I always approach them with an open mind hoping that this will finally be the
00:18one that I like again.
00:20We'll see.
00:22Positive reviews, we'll see how it goes.
00:30That was nice, I didn't even have to touch my controller.
00:32Automatically moved him.
00:35Cool.
00:36Father Balognano has come to request free movement for his priests in your lands.
00:43That is correct, Sir Ranmaru.
00:45You will address Lord Nobunaga?
00:47Of course, of course.
00:49Forgive me, Lord Nobunaga.
00:51Please, accept this gift.
00:55A European chair, made by the finest artisans in the world.
00:59Lame gift!
01:00Give me something cool!
01:02We should be presenting cool gifts, like a Nintendo Switch.
01:07You ask?
01:08If only he understood.
01:11He is all the people of Kyoto speak about since his arrival.
01:18Oh.
01:23I'll play it cool, I'll be mysterious.
01:28Diogo has been a loyal sword-bearer for me.
01:32He has freed me to focus on...
01:33Do choices matter in this game?
01:34I doubt it, right?
01:35It's fucking Ubisoft.
01:36Yeah, I'll start aura farming.
01:40That is what we call him.
01:43While Iga calls its unifier a tyrant.
01:48Man my armor is absolutely clappin' Oda's right now.
01:53Man's out here in bathrobes, meanwhile I've got the whole kit and caboodle on me.
01:58No.
02:00Alright.
02:02You've got him!
02:06Use your sword, friend!
02:11Oh my god, they need better training!
02:14This dude just lit himself on fire.
02:17The other guy forgot how to fight.
02:23Nice.
02:32Oh man, I am eating him alive.
02:35Into the fire!
02:36Oh, he freed himself.
02:42Who's shooting?
02:46Is it you?
02:48Someone was just shooting at me from behind that entire fight.
03:03He dies, I bet.
03:04Calling it.
03:05He's dead.
03:06The second he said he'd meet us there.
03:10His fate was sealed.
03:18He doesn't see me?
03:21He did see me.
03:22Damn!
03:23He's good.
03:28He's tanky.
03:31There we go.
03:32One down!
03:33You're next, buster!
03:34Oh man, I've got him stunlocked.
03:40Oh shit!
03:41I almost got one tapped.
03:48Take that!
03:49Alright.
03:50Oh, I still can't go in there.
03:58Did I do all that for nothing?
04:02I don't know why I thought they'd open the gate.
04:06She killed our two strongest men!
04:08Quick, let her in!
04:09She earned it!
04:14Iconic Assassin's Creed!
04:16I feel like if you'd have just dropped on the floor, it would have been fine.
04:27That's big.
04:29I see you, coward!
04:32Hi-ya!
04:33What?
04:34Excellent dodge.
04:36That guy's good.
04:37Alright, he's good.
04:39You don't- does he not see me?
04:41He does.
04:42Hi-ya!
04:43Must have been the wind.
04:49Check this play out.
04:51Watch this.
04:52Oh god, wait, the aim assist's fucking me.
04:56Hi-ya!
04:57Hi-ya!
04:58That was so clean.
05:04Oh, he cut his fucking ear off.
05:15Excellent work.
05:18Oh yeah, R.I.P.
05:25Oh no!
05:27Oh, that was gonna be a lot more heroic than that.
05:53Wait, maybe he doesn't die.
06:12That is the most classic cliche ever.
06:17Classic cliche employed.
06:24Also if you're the leader of this group, why are you gonna let one of your subordinates
06:27command everyone?
06:28No, let him suffer!
06:29No, fuck you, buddy!
06:30I'm in charge!
06:31Oh no.
06:32My least favorite thing in the entire series, just following, listening.
06:45Ugh, I hate it.
06:53I appreciate the auto-follow, though.
06:55They know it's boring.
06:57But then my counterpoint would be, why not do it a different way?
07:07Oh, that was easy.
07:16I'm getting the mallet.
07:20Auntie Matsu comes back with that fucking blunderbuss.
07:31You come to stab me, kid?
07:33Is that what it is?
07:37Nurse me back to health so you can kill me at full strength?
07:39I know your plan.
07:43I like the music.
07:45I fuck with that.
07:47Like that scene where the dad gets clapped.
07:50That whole scene with the music complimenting it was pretty cool.
07:54Now they have a music video training montage.
07:56That's cool, I guess.
07:57But man, this shit is so slow, holy.
08:00It's been an hour and a half, and I think I've had maybe ten minutes of gameplay.
08:05Leave them alone!
08:08Wait, let me off.
08:12Time to stealth.
08:15Gotcha!
08:20No, fuck, one saw me.
08:22Ow!
08:23Now my stealth has been ruined.
08:32Oh, I thought he was going for it.
08:36Last one.
08:39Alright, everyone's safe.
08:43Who was here that I was saving, by the way?
08:52I'm here again!
08:55I don't feel like killing everyone.
08:56That just seems like a waste of time.
08:57I'm just gonna sneak to the loot.
09:02Do you see me?
09:11Bye-bye.
09:15You've got him.
09:17Stop!
09:22Did he insult you?
09:23What'd he say?
09:30Well, even the guy who's getting harassed has now walked up, crossed his arms, and sized me up.
09:34I don't know if he wants my help.
09:37Oh, shit!
09:43Damn it, they saw!
09:45She went that way!
09:47No!
09:51I'll lose them in the grass.
09:54I just need to find some taller grass.
10:04No, wait, they can chop the grass!
10:08Just like that, I vanish.
10:14Gotcha!
10:21Yes, the master of stealth strikes again!
10:30So cool.
10:33You're free, buddy!
10:35You're really gonna walk away without saying thank you?
10:39All of that, huh?
10:41Alright, tough guy.
10:42See if I save you again.
10:46Oh, it was a four-hit combo.
10:48My first boss fight!
10:57I'm not running!
11:04Take this!
11:08Oh, god, okay, I see.
11:11So every single one of these is gonna be a flashback, huh?
11:14A flashback mission.
11:16So it's gonna be a rhythm game into flashback mission, I think, for this.
11:22Bandits in the shrine?
11:34What are you doing here?
11:35Get the fuck out!
11:36Run, get out of here!
11:38You're not welcome here!
11:40I need to go collect shit from under the floor!
11:42Get out of here!
11:44Be gone!
11:48Okay, every single one of them forgot how to use their arms.
11:54I did see a knowledge point thing over here.
12:00Piss in the street!
12:02You're dead now!
12:06Oh, these are level six.
12:11What?
12:12Oh, I just got one-tapped when I missed that.
12:14I won't let the public pisser get away with it!
12:18I will bring order to this town!
12:23Okay, there's one.
12:25Only 15 HP or XP for that, huh?
12:30Wow, this guy takes no damage.
12:31I'm just wasting my time.
12:34He actually takes no damage, holy shit.
12:38Not worth.
12:46But I'm gonna do it anyway.
12:48Here comes a 45 minute fight.
12:55Okay, locked myself down for too long.
12:59The fuck is this?
13:00Is that a data fragment for the battle pass?
13:02Holy shit, wait a minute.
13:03Wait a minute!
13:07It's a- oh, no, it's a key.
13:08No, wait, but it's a key for the battle pass!
13:12Yes!
13:13My battle pass!
13:17How many keys do I need?
13:18Oh, god, it was only 30 out of the thousand I need.
13:22Oh, shit.
13:26A 3% chance to instantly kill with posture attacks.
13:30Does that work on bosses?
13:31That sounds great.
13:34Vanish after two seconds while crouched or prone.
13:37Oh, my god.
13:39That sounds so good.
13:41It's so stupid, what the fuck?
13:44Fool.
13:53How did that happen?
13:55Must have been the wind.
13:58Can the enemies not climb, like in general?
14:04I'm starting to think they just actually can't reach me.
14:07Like, even if they knew I was here.
14:11Look at me, look at me, look at me up here.
14:20Man, I really got this guy fucked up.
14:22Take this!
14:24Expertly done.
14:27It's just that easy.
14:31And I got some pine bush.
14:33Can you please get off this tree?
14:35I'm begging, get off this tree, thank you.
14:37Oh, my god, please.
14:38I just want to leave this tree!
14:40Help!
14:43Fuck!
14:44Let me off!
14:45Let me out!
14:49Don't worry, the master of stealth is...
14:51Is someone here?
14:59I have a plan.
15:01Follow me!
15:06Outsmarted.
15:07Even got the executioner coming right to me.
15:13Gotcha!
15:16And now I'm gone.
15:20You'll never find me now.
15:26He said you will not get me off this rock.
15:38Take that!
15:40Executioner down.
15:43Yeah.
15:46That'll fucking teach him!
15:49And I got a new hat.
15:52I think the game's just boring.
15:54I am not an Assassin's Creed fan, haven't been in over a decade.
15:58I like that it's not the exact same combat as the previous games,
16:03but it still doesn't feel all that new.
16:06This feels like sword combat from, like, maybe ten years ago.
16:12Like, it's serviceable.
16:14Granted, I'm still, what, three and a half hours in,
16:17so it's still early.
16:19But it's just, I don't know, it's not fun.
16:21And the cutscenes, there's so many, which I usually don't mind,
16:26but I am not really invested in the story.
16:30So I'm not really, I'm not loving it.
16:34It's better than Mirage.
16:36It's better than Valhalla.
16:37I fucking fell asleep on stream playing Valhalla.
16:40Mirage just super sucked.
16:43But it's, I still just think it's so boring.
16:54Don't make me go get it.
16:56Have mercy, don't make me go get it.
17:00We'll just write it off. He'll forgive you.
17:08I don't think I have the patience to take it back, man.
17:11I'll be honest with you, Mitsumune.
17:16I know I'm going to regret this.
17:18It's gonna be another fucking side quest that's just a super snoozer.
17:23Main quest is right there.
17:27I'm doing it.
17:37Damn right.
17:40We're all here. Might as well fuck them.
17:59I like the plan. A full frontal.
18:05Watch this stealth kill.
18:10Please.
18:13Come on.
18:15He'll never see it coming.
18:18Gotcha.
18:22That's how we do it.
18:23Who's next?
18:29Got him with the razzle dazzle.
18:32You'll never hit me.
18:34I'm too swift.
18:39But whatever, I'm already here.
18:44Absolute baloney that that one hit me and you know it.
18:49How did you even climb back up? I haven't seen anyone else in this game climb.
18:52Is this guy just built different?
18:58Okay, that's cringe.
19:00Oh my god, stop locking on to everyone but this guy.
19:10Take this.
19:15No fucking shot.
19:18What a climactic conclusion to one of our first big bosses of the game.
19:24I did that just as a joke thinking it would bounce off his armor and he'd give me a cool voice line.
19:30Where?
19:37That was pretty epic.
19:39You left him to suffer.
19:42To die in pain.
19:45And every day since I have thought of only one thing.
19:51Making you suffer.
19:54Oh I did.
19:56He suffered the ultimate shame of cringe.
19:59I killed him with a spitball from the top turnbuckle.
20:04He's dying in shame.
20:27What do you mean fuck me? What did I do?
20:35I don't care. You can kill him. I don't give a shit.
20:37This will impact. I don't care.
20:40Do it man. I'm not your dad. Do what you want.
20:57You all are.
21:00Yeah, how many people did you kill? Don't act like you're better than us.
21:09You said you were ready for blood.
21:12The veins of my people opened for you.
21:16I hope it was worth it.
21:19You seem pretty- what man?
21:21You wanted blood just as much as I did. More than me.
21:24I didn't kill that unarmed surrendering guy.
21:26What the fuck? Why are you lecturing me?
21:28How did you feel?
21:30Man, I should have just said no.
21:31Eat my dick. How about that?
21:35New weapon.
21:40Oh, sorry.
21:41I didn't mean- I didn't fucking mean to man. Calm down.
21:44What are you freaking out- whatever. I'll kill you.
21:49We just had a huge victory and now you want to act like a real bitch
21:52just because I accidentally hit somebody.
22:02There.
22:06Holy shit!
22:08This guy had 862 man?
22:11What?
22:12That's more than I got from every single mission I've done so far.
22:15I just beat a stranger to death and he had so much shit in him.
22:18He was a loot box.
22:21I can finally afford one of the fast travel spots.
22:24Wow, that's the strat right there.
22:26Just kill unarmed rich dudes-
22:28or not unarmed, he was far from unarmed.
22:30Just kill random rich dudes in the towns here.
22:33That is the strat for sure.
22:42The weekly quests!
22:45For the- the uh-
22:48Jesus, battle pass.
22:53Okay, we can just do purge-
22:55We can do two corrupted entities.
23:00And then I can get the invisibility cloak from Harry Potter or whatever.
23:06Oh my god, it's 4300 meters. I'm going to bed.
23:09I'm not doing that.
23:11I'm calling it a night.