The contestants in this episode are Sylvia Maddox & Simon Carroll from Essex, Will Duffield & Tracey Leroyd from Cumbria, Margaret Wharton & Jim Fellows from the West Midlands, and Charlie Davis & Fiona Campbell from Tyne & Wear. Bruce Forsyth guides them through the games, ably assisted by Rosemary Ford, who seems to be in yet another negligee, and the games include Catch & Carry (involving balls and nets), plus return of games such as placing stickers on models (appropriately titled Oo ah Ooh!), Carry on Karaoke, and Balloons, where the teams have to add mini balloons inside a big one (and are not entirely successful). There is one team that is head and shoulders above the others in entertainment value as one puts Brucie unexpectedly in his place, while he delivers his own comeback when he learns of her winning 3rd place in a weight loss competition that he wouldn't get away with now, but is very funny and is taken in great humour by the contestant. The finale involves a Inspector Clouseau spoof that is not as funny at first as it is 2nd time around, but it does involve Rosemary Ford dressed as a French maid and sees appearances by Arthur Bostrum, Burt Kwok and Norman Lumsden, who is better known as J.R. Hartley from the Yellow Pages advert. Plus it sees one contestant unexpectedly do the splits when Rosemary Ford does so at the end - but will it be enough to sway the judges for a place at the conveyor belt?
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00:00Life is the name of the game
00:04And I want to play the game with you
00:07Life can be terribly great
00:11If you don't play the game with two
00:14And I want to play the game with you
00:30Well, thank you
00:32Thank you so much
00:34Hello, hello
00:35And what a fantastic welcome
00:38I haven't heard applause like that
00:40Since Michael Jackson caught the bouquet
00:42At Elizabeth Taylor's wedding
00:43Poor Liz
00:45Her eighth wedding
00:46Always a bride, never the bridesmaid
00:49What a shame, what a shame
00:52Anyway, good evening ladies and gentlemen and children
00:53Welcome to the Generation Game
00:55Nice to see you, to see you
00:57Always
00:58And especially the people
01:00Who are watching this show in hospital
01:01I'll be with you in about an hour and a half
01:03It's been that kind of a diet
01:09But in the meantime
01:11Here's someone who always
01:13Always makes you feel better
01:14The girl who has everything
01:16And she always brings it with her
01:17Lads
01:20The gorgeous, the lovely Rosemary Ford
01:28Thank you
01:30There we are
01:30Thank you Bruce for that lovely introduction
01:36Well, you are my little treasure
01:37He called me his little treasure
01:40Yeah, well I was the one who dug her up
01:41No, I didn't mean that Rosie
01:44I didn't mean that
01:45Now look, have you ever thought
01:47What you'd do without me?
01:48I'd probably buy a hamster
01:49By the way
01:51Oh wait, no, it wasn't worth it
01:54All right
01:55But somebody asked me the other day
01:56What you do in your spare time
01:58Oh really?
01:59Yes
01:59This is her spare time
02:01You're right
02:02Oh really?
02:03Because I've been doing a lot of social work recently
02:05What kind of social work?
02:06Meals on wheels
02:07Ladies and gentlemen
02:09This young and attractive girl
02:11Could be out enjoying herself
02:13And she gives her time up
02:14Delivering meals to the old folk
02:17Rosie, I'm truly proud of you
02:19Oh, do you know I called at your house four times
02:22But you were out
02:22I must have been down the shops
02:27My little treasure
02:30One more joke like that
02:32And I will bury you
02:33Right
02:33Introduce the teams please dear
02:35All right, I will do
02:36I will
02:36Whoops
02:37Oh, I'm only kidding
02:39Sell it dear
02:41Sell it
02:42But make sure you can buy it back
02:44So
02:44Our first team's from Essex
02:47Their mother-in-law and son-in-law
02:48Sylvia Maddox
02:49And Simon Carroll
02:51Right
02:51Right
02:52That's it my darling time
03:01What a
03:02What a vivageno
03:04What a vivageno
03:05You are Sylvia Maddox
03:07You're a temporary secretary
03:08I see
03:09And you've
03:10Oh, you've been married three times
03:11Because you say
03:13You seem to wear them out
03:14Correct
03:15Oh
03:15I'll make a note of that
03:17Man-eater
03:19Now you're married to Eddie
03:22And he's a foreman
03:23How did you meet him?
03:24I worked in a pub
03:26Oh
03:26And Eddie was a singer
03:27Eddie was a singer
03:28Eddie was a singer?
03:30Eddie was a singer, yes
03:31Eddie was a singer
03:32Yes
03:32And he sang
03:34And when I used to serve him drinks
03:35He used to say
03:36I always gave him a little bit extra
03:38Oh, really?
03:39Well
03:40There's nothing like a barmaid
03:43Who gives you a bit extra
03:44Is there, lads?
03:48Right, of course
03:49Right, would you like to tell us
03:50About the third honeymoon
03:52Or was it just a trip down memory lane?
03:54I went to Ramsgate for our honeymoon
03:56Oh, Ramsgate
03:57Lovely
03:58Oh, Sylvia
03:59Sylvia
04:00Oh, it's much better than Margoid
04:04Different class
04:06Third
04:07Yeah, Ramsgate
04:09Yeah, what happened, love?
04:10When we arrived at the hotel
04:12Yeah
04:12The manager said
04:13How long have you been married?
04:15Yes
04:15I said ten years
04:16And he said
04:17How many children have you got?
04:18So I said
04:19One
04:19A daughter of 21
04:21And Ed Pipes up
04:22Two
04:23A son of 18
04:24And a daughter of 16
04:26And he looked at us
04:27And he went
04:27Shall I book you in as Mr and Mrs Smith?
04:29Oh
04:30Oh, that's a shame, my darling
04:33Now, any phobias at all?
04:36Yes, I'm frightened of wasps
04:37I got stunned on the bottom once
04:39Oh, no, dear
04:40And I couldn't find anybody to
04:43On your bottom
04:43On your bottom
04:45Oh, yeah
04:47And what happened, dear?
04:48I couldn't find anybody to remove the sting
04:50The sting?
04:51No, there's never a husband about when you need them
04:53No, it wasn't about
04:56Anyway, that's when you find out
04:58Who your real friends are
05:00In your bottom
05:01Right
05:02I'm going to add to your solid law
05:05Okay, Simon, Carol
05:07Oh, you're an accountant
05:08That's right
05:08So you're not a simple Simon
05:09No, no, not a simple
05:10That's all
05:11I see, you're married to Tracy
05:12And she's a bank clerk
05:13You met her at the bank
05:15You looked at her
05:16And it was love at first sight
05:17But you had to ask her six times
05:19Before she'd go out with you
05:21Yeah
05:21Oh, that's a shame
05:22Oh, that is a shame, yeah
05:24She doesn't still make you wait six times
05:26Normally, yeah
05:27She's a sad life
05:31Oh, yeah
05:32That's in your bottom
05:33Yeah
05:33Now, has she got any other irritating habits
05:38Apart from making you wait six times?
05:40Well, what we actually do get to be is
05:41Oh, yes
05:42She's sort of very restless
05:46She's a bit like sort of Jack
05:47Jack Douglas
05:48When she actually gets you
05:49Wait, hey, holy
05:50Yeah, yeah
05:50Oh, no, no, that is it?
05:53Yeah, all the elbows and everything
05:54No
05:54And he's like, when I get up
05:56It's sort of like going to full rounds
05:57With Mike Tyson
05:57Sort of black and blue broken cheeks
05:59And all that
05:59I should take so
06:00Oh, that sounds ridiculous
06:02Now, Sylvie, is
06:03Because it's your daughter
06:05He's talking about
06:06Is she like you?
06:07Yes, she is
06:07Oh, I think I know
06:08What happened to your husband
06:09Your special talent is body popping
06:16Can we, can you
06:17Just in a second
06:18Stage later
06:19Let Sylvie and I get it out of the way
06:21You better, actually
06:22It's a bit visual
06:23In case you get stung by a wasp
06:24Yes
06:26Okay, away you go
06:27That's good
06:33Hey
06:35That's fantastic
06:48Well, I've got a little tip for you
07:01When you get in bed tonight
07:02And she starts all that fidgeting
07:03Hitting
07:04You just do that spin
07:05You'll soon pop her body out
07:09Take your bottoms over there
07:13Okay
07:13And we'll meet who we're going to play again
07:16What nice people
07:17Well, what a hell of a man
07:18Well, I get home tonight
07:23I'm going to do some of that
07:24Oh, sorry
07:24And it's a couple of hours, Mary
07:25They're from Cumbria
07:27Their stepfather and stepdaughter
07:28Will Duffield
07:29And Tracy Leroyd
07:31Right
07:31So, and it's Tracy
07:42You're an assistant manager
07:43In a large shoe retailers
07:45That's right
07:46Oh, so don't you sell small shoes
07:47Previously, you worked for four years
07:51As a dancer abroad
07:52Oh, what kind of dancing did you do?
07:54The can-can limbo dance
07:55Oh, limbo
07:56You do the limbo
07:57Well, I did
07:58We heard, we heard about that
07:59Let's have the, uh
08:00Let's have the
08:01Get round the other side
08:04Will you, both of you?
08:05That one there, Rosie
08:06Good
08:06And this one here
08:07Give us the pole
08:08That's it, lovely
08:09Thank you, my darling
08:10Good
08:10There we are
08:11Now, is that, uh
08:13Is that high enough for you?
08:17Higher
08:17Oh, a little bit higher
08:18You tell us where to stop
08:19I, uh
08:20About there, I'll try
08:22Blimey, I could get under there
08:24No, I won't try
08:26I won't try
08:26But, okay, Tracy
08:27Oh, you're taking your shoes off
08:29Oh, are you stopping?
08:32Right, off
08:33Off you go then
08:34Tracy
08:35Oh, hello, hello
08:37Yeah, that's
08:42That's very
08:44That takes a bit of doing
08:46I'll tell you that
08:46Very good
08:47Can I give you a clap?
08:51Put it on your shoes
08:52It's incredible
08:53Lovely
08:55Lovely
08:56Put your shoes on there
08:58Okay, let's get rid of this
08:59Okay, darling
09:00That's absolutely marvellous
09:01You, you should team up
09:03With Simon over there
09:04You two
09:04You could, you two
09:05Could bring back variety
09:06Yeah
09:07I've given up
09:08Who's your stepfather?
09:11Okay
09:11Good evening
09:12Well, stay where you are
09:12Don't step anywhere else
09:13Right
09:13You're Will Duffield
09:15And you're a self-employed builder
09:17That's right
09:17Good
09:17And you're married to Valerie
09:19Whose great-grandfather
09:20Fought in the Crimea
09:21And was nursed by Florence Nightingale
09:23So I hear
09:24Oh, that's fantastic
09:25It really is
09:26Well, I hope he's feeling better now
09:27There we are
09:31Now, when you were in the fashion business
09:33Oh, really, really
09:34With Val
09:35You needed a mannequin
09:36But you came home with a really attractive one
09:38And decided to play a joke on Val
09:40What did you do?
09:41Because it doesn't tell me what you did
09:42Well, I got home before she'd arrived home from work
09:44Yes
09:44And I put the mannequin in bed
09:46And I primed Tracy
09:47Well, the dummy
09:48The dummy in bed
09:49In bed
09:49Very bubbly, bubbly wig
09:50Very nice
09:51Oh, yeah
09:51And just as Val came in
09:54I climbed into bed
09:55Yeah
09:55And she eventually came into the bedroom
09:57And just as she opened the door
09:58I said
09:58Don't worry, honey
09:59She won't be home for hours yet
10:00What a freaking fact
10:05Did she go for it?
10:07Oh, she went for it
10:07She really went for it
10:08She went for you after
10:09Anyway, thank you very much for being with us
10:13We've got a game coming up straight away
10:15So if you just pop over there
10:16We'll be able to
10:17Nice people again
10:19Nice people
10:20Now then
10:22Before our first game
10:24I'd just like to remind you
10:25That our contestants have no idea
10:27What we have planned for them
10:28We rehearse, of course
10:30But not with them
10:31This is their rehearsal
10:34Our first game is called
10:36Catch and Carry
10:37Will you welcome
10:38From Spain
10:39Pepito Alvarez
10:41Come on
10:48We'll be right back
10:53Hey
10:55Ah
10:57flower
10:57Come on
11:02Here we go
11:10Whoop-a.
11:19Hup.
11:20Yeah.
11:21Hey.
11:22Yes.
11:24Ho.
11:26All right.
11:27Ho.
11:32I need your.
11:33Oh, my God.
12:03One, two, three, whoo!
12:13Pepito!
12:15There we are. That's all there is to it.
12:21Go and get yourselves changed. Go and get changed. Hurry, hurry.
12:25Well, Pepito, gracias, gracias, la cuenta, por favor.
12:29That means the cheques in the post.
12:33You travel all over the world, doing cabaret and all kinds of things.
12:37Now, where is your favourite audience? What country?
12:39I think England.
12:41Good!
12:43Now, I've always admired Jackling and Jackling and all that country.
12:47Do you want to do something with me?
12:49I'd love to, if I could do something.
12:51Oh, where did that come from?
12:53There we are. Now, listen. Get the ball.
12:55Yeah, good. Threw me back here.
12:57Good? Yeah, very good. Again.
12:59I could do this when I was fast.
13:01Okay, come on. Don't keep the ball, Bruce.
13:03Don't keep the ball. Don't keep it. Give me back.
13:05Yes. Yes. With three. Let's go.
13:07Okay. Okay. With three. Let's go.
13:09Come on. Yeah. Okay.
13:11Applause for Bruce, ladies and gentlemen. Yes.
13:13Okay. Okay. Okay.
13:15Go, move. Up.
13:17Higher. Higher. Higher.
13:19Go, move.
13:20Let's go.
13:21Higher. This is one higher.
13:22Oh!
13:23Hallelujah.
13:24That's amazing.
13:29How about that?
13:35I'm sorry.
13:36Oh, yes.
13:37See, my nose is too small to get that on.
13:38You've got more.
13:39You can't thank all of you. Fine. I'm sorry.
13:42It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
13:44To this side and to the other.
13:46Yes, we've made it a bit easier for you.
13:48Right, now we're going to start with you. One at a time.
13:52Get your three balls out. That's it.
13:54Get all of them out there. Just three of them. Go on.
14:02All right, fine, fine. You have a try, dear. You have a try.
14:05Get your balls out. Get your balls ready, but don't do anything with them.
14:09Right. Oh, yeah, fine. Go on, go on.
14:11Yes. Yes.
14:13Okay. Not bad, not bad. Now you, my dad. Go on.
14:17Yes, okay, fine. Good. Okay, don't worry. Put them out there.
14:20Okay, now you have a try. Now you have a try. Get three. Go on, go on.
14:23Yes.
14:24Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad. Not bad.
14:30Come over here, if you will. Give them back all the balls.
14:33Give them all the balls back there. That's it. And get on the green mark there.
14:36And you just on this one here. You on that one there.
14:39Okay, that's it. Now, what are you going to do this time?
14:42Get on your mark there. Don't move from there. Okay.
14:44Two, you've got to catch in there.
14:46Two, you've got to catch in there. Two in there. Two in there.
14:48Now, when you're doing this, think Chippendales. Go like that.
14:51Okay? Think Chippendales. That's it. You've got it, dear.
14:55You've got it. Fine. Now, I'm not being there, but this does help you to catch it.
14:58Right? Over to you, Peter. Away we go.
15:01Come here. Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!
15:18Okay. You have to bend that. You have to do that. All you do is you bend forward. Okay? Just bend forward.
15:24Don't get right down all over the place. Get ready with the Ole's. Ole, yeah.
15:27Ole, yeah. Ole, yeah. Okay, Pete, Pete, O. Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!
15:32Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!
15:37Bad luck! Bad luck! Ole! Ole!
15:39Look at the ball, dear. Look at the ball.
15:41The ball is coming. Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!
15:45Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole!
15:52Now. This one is a bit tricky. You can get two points. You get one point for each of the ones you've got in up to yet.
15:58But this is for two points. So when Pepito shouts, Now, then you turn, quickly, right where you are, turn and catch it in there.
16:05Don't give me your back, you'll get your back! Here we go, good luck for this for two points.
16:06Now!
16:08You have to turn. Turn, now!
16:11Oh, bad luck!
16:12Now!
16:13Oh, bad luck!
16:14You must have completed it.
16:15Okay, try this now.
16:16Now!
16:17No, no!
16:18Wait!
16:19Wait!
16:20Wait!
16:21Wait!
16:22Wait!
16:23Wait!
16:24Now!
16:25Oh!
16:26Bad luck!
16:27Bad luck!
16:28Here we go!
16:29Hey!
16:30Now!
16:31Oh!
16:32Bad luck!
16:33What a good time!
16:34What a good time!
16:35What a good time!
16:36Here we go!
16:37There we are!
16:38Now, Pepito, a little bit of marking.
16:43What do you think about Simon there?
16:44How did he get on?
16:45He get it, yeah?
16:46One, two, three points.
16:47Three points.
16:48Two in the back, one in the front.
16:49Three points.
16:50Three points.
16:51Well done indeed, Sylvie.
16:52She got only one point.
16:53Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
16:54Oh, Sylvie, sorry about that.
16:55But never mind.
16:56One point there.
16:57Tracy got, Tracy, she got one turning, which is two points.
17:00Oh, yeah, the good turn.
17:01The turn is one in the front, which is three points.
17:02Three points.
17:03Marvellous.
17:04And what about Willie?
17:05Oh, Willie is fantastic.
17:06There we go.
17:07One, two, three.
17:08Where there's a will, there's a jugular.
17:09Two in the front, two in the back, and one spirit, which is six points.
17:14Six points.
17:15Well, Pepito, a wonderful opening game.
17:17Thank you for being with us.
17:18Hey!
17:19That's all.
17:20That's all.
17:21That's all.
17:26Now, what's on the ball, Miss Ford?
17:29Sylvie and Simon have scored four.
17:31Tracy and Will have scored nine.
17:33Oh, nine.
17:34Five points for me.
17:35Oh, dear.
17:36Oh, dear.
17:37Oh, dear.
17:38That's never mind.
17:39Never mind.
17:40Not can happen.
17:41We're ready now for game number two, so go over there and get all that stuff off.
17:43Okay?
17:44Now, our next game is called Ooh.
17:47Ah.
17:48Ooh.
17:49Now, I'm not doing an impression of Frankie Howard.
17:52It'll all make sense in a minute.
17:54So, will you all come over here and stand in a queue?
17:58Just here.
17:59Right?
18:00Good.
18:01That's Simon.
18:02Just stand one behind the other.
18:03That's lovely.
18:04Okay.
18:05Could we have the partner for the first contestant, please?
18:07There we are.
18:08Ooh.
18:09Yes.
18:10Go on.
18:11Go with her.
18:12Go with her.
18:13Go with her.
18:14Go with her, son.
18:15Ah.
18:16Send your boots up, by the way.
18:17Right.
18:18Okay.
18:19The next one, please.
18:20There we are.
18:21Sylvia.
18:22He's all for you, dear.
18:23Come on, Sylvia.
18:24Come on.
18:25She's had three husbands.
18:26Right.
18:27Okay.
18:28That's fine.
18:29You stay there.
18:30That's lovely.
18:31That's lovely.
18:32And now, the next one, please.
18:33I'll show you which.
18:34She'll stand you in the right position.
18:35And the last one.
18:36Here we are.
18:37What about this?
18:38Uh-huh.
18:39Okay.
18:40And if you're not satisfied, there's plenty more around the back there.
18:44Now, you have some stickers numbered one to four.
18:47I will mention a pain, and then you will stick your sticker on the part of your model's body
18:52where you...
18:56It's a game.
18:57It's a game.
18:58If you're playing this at home.
19:00You stick your sticker where you think the pain is.
19:03Okay.
19:04Are we ready?
19:05Now, number one, number one is sciatica.
19:08Where do you think the pain of sciatica is?
19:11Okay.
19:12Turn round, she's saying.
19:13Turn round if you want to go round the back.
19:15Bye.
19:16Okay.
19:17Now, the next one is coxalgia.
19:22Coxalgia.
19:23You weren't.
19:29Sylvie, stop having fun.
19:30Play the game, then.
19:31Okay.
19:32Coxalgia.
19:33Okay.
19:34The third one is prepotellabersitis.
19:35Prepotellabersitis.
19:36Where would the pain be?
19:37Sylvie, stop having fun. Play the game, dear.
19:41OK, coxalgia.
19:42OK, the third one is prepotella bursitis.
19:46Prepotella bursitis.
19:48Where would the pain be?
19:52Now, the last one, the fourth one.
19:55Stop having fun.
19:58Oh, it keeps coming off.
19:59Well, hold it on, hold it on.
20:02I'll hold it on for you.
20:03And the last one is tinea pedis.
20:08Tinea pedis.
20:10It's on now, it's on.
20:11All right, is it quite lovely, lovely.
20:13Tinea pedis.
20:15Are we all finished?
20:17That's lovely, that's lovely.
20:18Now, let me come over here, round the back here.
20:20Now, to you first, where's your number one?
20:22Your number one, well, in the lower back, I say yes,
20:25we'll give one, we'll give two points, rather,
20:28for that one, the sciatica.
20:30Now, your coxalgia, no, well, let's...
20:33That's where it was, and it's wrong.
20:35It should be the hip.
20:36So, it should have been round here somewhere.
20:37That's the hip, you see.
20:39Okay, fine.
20:40Then, the prepotella bursitis.
20:42That was housemaid's knee.
20:43Very good.
20:44Very good for housemaid's knee.
20:46Lovely.
20:47Two points.
20:50And tinea pedis.
20:51That is wonderful for athlete's foot.
20:54So, that's great.
20:55That's marvellous.
20:56Good work here.
20:57Well done.
20:57Well done.
20:58Now then, Sylvie.
21:00Now, turn around.
21:00Let's see where she put her number one.
21:02And number one is sciatica.
21:04That's lower back.
21:05So, we'll give two points for that.
21:06That's okay.
21:07Has it dropped off?
21:10We were holding it there long enough.
21:12It was below that, wasn't it?
21:14It was about there.
21:14Yeah, about there.
21:15Yeah, which is no good,
21:16because it should have been the hip.
21:18And then, the prepotella bursitis.
21:20I've fallen off this for you.
21:21Oh, yeah, you did...
21:22She did have it on the knee, I think.
21:23Yes?
21:24She did have it on the knee.
21:25It was, it was...
21:26That's number three, I remember.
21:27Oh, yeah, sorry.
21:27You're right.
21:28All right, dear.
21:28It's my game.
21:33Right?
21:34Okay, now, I'm just...
21:35That's a good one.
21:36Anyway, you get two points for that.
21:38Well done, indeed.
21:38And another two points for...
21:40Tynia Pettis, the athlete's foot.
21:42Well done, indeed, Phil.
21:43Now, now, then.
21:46How did we go here?
21:48Number one, sciatica.
21:49Yes, lower back.
21:50We can give you two points for that.
21:52Coxalgia should be the hip.
21:53We can't give you anything else.
21:54You're way out there.
21:55The prepotella bursitis.
21:58Housemaid's knee.
21:59It's wrong.
22:00Okay, you thought it was somewhere near the big toe, dear.
22:02So, you get nothing for that,
22:03but you do get two points for the athlete's foot.
22:06Tynia Pettis.
22:07Well done, indeed.
22:08Well done, indeed.
22:09And how did you get on here?
22:10Hello, darling.
22:11Now, when you put the number one, lower back.
22:13Yes, two points for that.
22:14Well done.
22:15Nothing for this one,
22:16because it should have been the hip.
22:17The three should have been there,
22:18which is very good.
22:20You get two points for that,
22:21and another two points for the athlete's foot.
22:23Tynia Pettis.
22:24Well done, indeed.
22:25Well done, indeed.
22:26And I'm really honored.
22:27You are lovely.
22:28Thank you for...
22:30Lovely models and lovely models, weren't they?
22:35Weren't they really lovely?
22:36Well, that was fun.
22:37What's on the board, Miss Ford?
22:39Sylvia and Simon have scored 16.
22:41Tracy and Will have scored 19.
22:43Oh, you didn't manage to catch up.
22:46So, well done, you two, and bad luck.
22:49We're sorry for Lucy, we really are.
22:51And, David, do you have a generation of game telephone for both of you?
22:54Thank you for being up.
22:55And keep that up.
22:55That was marvellous.
22:56And we'll see you in our grand final, coming up very soon.
23:00Off you go.
23:01And thank you.
23:07Right, now, who have we got left?
23:09Our thirteens from the West Midlands.
23:11Their mother-in-law and son-in-law, Margaret Wharton and Tim Follows.
23:16Right.
23:18Hello.
23:19Hello.
23:19Hello, Tim.
23:20How are you, Tim?
23:21How are you?
23:26That's fine.
23:26Margaret Wharton, and you're a cashier supervisor.
23:29That's right.
23:30You're married to Harold.
23:31Yes.
23:31And you met in a chapel.
23:32Yes.
23:33Oh, how wonderful.
23:34And as soon as your eyes met in the chapel, you knew he was your favourite hymn.
23:42Lively, yes.
23:43Oh, I'll spend half an hour with this one.
23:45Right.
23:46Okay.
23:47You're able to talk to anyone about anything.
23:50Yes.
23:50Oh, is that right?
23:51How do you mean this, you can talk to anybody?
23:54I talk to anybody in the street, you know, dogs, children.
23:58Dogs and children.
23:59Oh, people.
24:00Yes.
24:00People in the bus stop.
24:02Oh, really?
24:02People in the bus stop.
24:04Oh, yeah.
24:04Yeah.
24:05Anybody else?
24:06Oh, yes, loads of...
24:07Do you go in the...
24:07You know, if I'm on a park bench.
24:09If you're on a park bench, yes.
24:10What's sitting, you mean?
24:11Yes, sitting on a park bench.
24:12Yes.
24:13You can bet that I'll get an old man that sits.
24:17An old man will come up.
24:18Will he be quiet a minute?
24:19I was just trying to help the story.
24:35If you carry on, dear, carry on.
24:36Well, if I sit on...
24:37Get me pen out for this one.
24:39Yes, go on, dear.
24:39If I sit on a park bench, you can bet I'll get an old fella to come and sit by me, and
24:44I hear his life story.
24:45No.
24:46Yes.
24:47Oh, well, I'll make a note of that.
24:49Nosey.
24:52You came third.
24:53You came third in Slimmer of the Year at your local slimming club.
24:58Oh, really?
24:59Yes.
24:59You came third?
25:00Yes.
25:01Well, I wouldn't like to see fourth or sixth.
25:02Is your ambition to have a small, round, cheeky bottom?
25:15Yes, that's right.
25:15Yeah, well, you're not having mine.
25:16Right, over to your son-in-law now.
25:27Tim follows.
25:28That's right.
25:28Yes, good luck to you with this.
25:30Buyer for an electrical wholesaler.
25:33That's right, yeah.
25:33You're married to Rachel, and she's a nursery nurse.
25:37Well, tell us about your wedding day.
25:39Well, on the morning of the wedding day, I had to go up to the flat where we were moving
25:42into...
25:42Oh, you're moving into a flat, yes.
25:43Yeah.
25:44Yeah.
25:44And we was waiting for the three-piece suite to be delivered.
25:47Yes.
25:47And when it came, it was the wrong one.
25:49Oh, that's a shame.
25:51It's bad luck to have trouble with your three-piece suite on your wedding day.
25:56Oh, shut up.
25:58For goodness sake.
26:00You stop laughing.
26:01That wasn't meant.
26:01I was sympathising.
26:03Your most unusual incidents seem to happen to you in bed.
26:06Oh, like Simon earlier on.
26:07How do you mean?
26:08What is all this in bed?
26:09I seem to be missing something.
26:10What happened?
26:11Well, sometimes I've had funny dreams, and the one night I was dreaming was funny.
26:19You're not alone.
26:23You know, you know, if I don't have one every night, I'm disappointed.
26:35You know, you need to meet a nice glass of person.
26:36Anyway, what were you saying about your funny dreams?
26:39I've had funny dreams, and the one night I was dreaming, I was playing football.
26:44Oh, you dreamt you were playing football, yes.
26:45And I started tattooing the wife in bed.
26:47And I started tattooing the wife in bed.
26:49Really?
26:49She wasn't very pleased.
26:51Well, what is your, uh...
26:52Well, we've all done that.
26:57Tell me, what do you, uh, what team do you support?
27:00Wolverhampton Wanderers.
27:01Oh, yeah.
27:02So, you're almost singing, you wake up saying, come on, you won't.
27:08And she's singing, I've got a headache.
27:12And the lovers wake up and they say, bring her an aspirin.
27:17Anyway, you've got a long way to go.
27:19OK, thank you both for being here, you're a lot of fun.
27:22What a bat, what a bat.
27:24Oh, God.
27:27I tell you.
27:29Are we ready for the last?
27:30I'm shaking.
27:30Right.
27:31Are we ready for the last one?
27:32Even me cards are crumpled.
27:34We've got that.
27:35Our fourth team's from Tyne and Weir, their father and daughter, Charlie Davis and Fiona Campbell.
27:40Neil and Robert Stewart, that's lovely, nice to meet you.
27:51You're Fiona Campbell.
27:52Oh, I love your soup.
27:54And, uh...
27:54Keep it going, Margaret.
27:59You're an assistant manager in a building society.
28:02I see you're married to Neil and he's a draftsman.
28:05Did he have designs on you or did you have them on him?
28:08I had them on him.
28:09I see.
28:09Can you tell us all about the story?
28:11Well, I met him in a nightclub in a castle called Julie's and I was dancing away.
28:16Yeah.
28:16And I just spotted him at the end of a room and I thought, he's the one for me.
28:19He's the one for you.
28:20Oh, and it happened like that, did it?
28:21That's it, right.
28:22Did it cause you any embarrassment?
28:24Were you with anybody else?
28:25Well, I was courting at the time.
28:27Oh, you were courting.
28:28Somebody else, yeah.
28:28So I had to be very careful.
28:30Yeah.
28:30Yeah, you have to be careful.
28:31Yeah.
28:31Because it's better to, you know, rather than make a mistake, it's going to be the rest of your life.
28:35Well, that's right, yeah.
28:36I'll make a note of that.
28:37Scheming minks.
28:41I'm always fair with people.
28:43No, it is always right to stop something if you know it isn't completely right.
28:48You're right.
28:49Recently, at a barbecue, you decided to do a handstand, forgetting you had nothing on under your baggy sweatshirt.
28:56Oh, so when you went into the handstand, the sweatshirt slipped.
29:00Well, up there.
29:02Yeah, exactly.
29:03Up at the barbecue.
29:05So instead of kebabs, they had keboobs.
29:07Now, over to your dad, Charles Davies.
29:18I see, you're a retired chief fire officer.
29:21You've been married for 40 years.
29:23Almost, yeah.
29:2440 years, a long time.
29:24Well, you've certainly kept the flaming love burning, haven't you?
29:27Absolutely, yeah.
29:29Now then, we've heard about your daughter's embarrassment.
29:31Have you ever, is she ever embarrassed you at all?
29:33She was certainly involved in one of my most embarrassing moments.
29:36Well, tell us about it now.
29:38Oh, sure.
29:38Well, you've got nothing else to do, love.
29:42Well, where you go?
29:43Yeah, we're running a fire demonstration.
29:45Oh, yeah.
29:45We've got some top management and their wives, and we had the hose laid out in position.
29:49Oh, and I said to the fire officer, make sure the water's turned on.
29:54Yeah.
29:54But Fiona.
29:54Fiona, yeah.
29:56Heard the message, make sure the water is turned on.
29:58So, Fiona turned on the water, and the hose just snaked in that position.
30:02Oh, yeah.
30:0380 pounds pressure on the hose.
30:04There it is.
30:0580 pounds pressure?
30:06And it just turned under the management and drenched the whole lot.
30:09Drenched the whole lot of the hose.
30:11Back went the chairs, and all the other.
30:13Oh, yeah.
30:13So, what did you do?
30:14I mean, everybody was soaked.
30:15What did you do?
30:15Absolutely saturated.
30:16What did you do?
30:17What did we do?
30:18We hung up all the underwear for the ladies.
30:20All the underwear?
30:21Sure.
30:21Up on the line?
30:23In the fire station, I remember so many ladies and gents underwear in all my life.
30:26Oh, I bet the party really started then.
30:31I bet you had to get some firemen to put you all out.
30:36I hope you go over there.
30:37All right, lovely.
30:38I hope you go over there.
30:41Right.
30:41And we're ready now for game number three, which is called Carry On Karaoke.
30:47So, go and get yourselves ready.
30:48You haven't got time to sit down.
30:50Go on, off there and get ready.
30:51Now, we've called this Carry On Karaoke because you seemed to like it so much a few weeks ago.
30:59Could we have them back on, please?
31:02Oh, that's marvellous.
31:04Marvellous, marvellous.
31:06Over there.
31:07Let me get in the middle, have you?
31:09That's fine.
31:09That's lovely.
31:10Now then.
31:11This week, we're going to the late 50s and 60s with that famous Jerry Lee Lewis hit, Great Balls of Fire.
31:19Okay?
31:20Now, you remember the 60s as the decade of the extroverts, so really go crazy here.
31:25I mean, it's really all extrovert all over there.
31:27So, that's all you've got to do.
31:28Now, thank you, Rosie.
31:29That's lovely.
31:30We'll see you later.
31:30I'm going to start with you at this end, and you each do your own little bit.
31:34So, cue music.
31:35You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain.
31:41Too much love drives a man insane.
31:43You broke my will, but what a thrill.
31:46Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
31:50I haven't laughed.
31:51Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
31:59You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain.
32:03Too much love drives a man insane.
32:05You broke my will, but what a thrill.
32:09Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
32:12Too much love drives a man insane.
32:14I'm getting nervous, honey, but it's just fun.
32:17Come on, baby.
32:19You drive me crazy.
32:20Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
32:22See your piano.
32:23See your piano.
32:24Get your leg up.
32:24Leg up.
32:25Oh, yeah.
32:26Come on, baby.
32:27Hey.
32:27Hey.
32:27Hey.
32:27Hey.
32:31Hey.
32:32Hey.
32:32Hey.
32:32Hey.
32:32Hey.
32:32Hey.
32:33Hey.
32:33Hey.
32:33Hey.
32:33Hey.
32:34Hey.
32:35Hey.
32:35Hey.
32:35Hey.
32:36Hey.
32:36Hey.
32:37Hey.
32:38Hey.
32:38Hey.
32:40Hey.
32:42Hey.
32:42Hey.
32:42Hey.
32:44Hear me out.
32:46I treat my nerves and I treat her mother.
32:48Right.
32:48Be your nervous, but it sure is cool.
32:51Come on, baby, you're driving me crazy.
32:54Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
32:56Good, good.
32:57Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
33:00Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
33:03Goodness gracious, Great Balls of Fire.
33:05Thank you so much, my darling Rosie.
33:16Now, to judge this, here's the Variety Club's Radio Personality of the Year
33:21and Radio One's very popular presenter, Simon Mayo.
33:31Thank you, it was a pleasure.
33:33Thank you, Simon.
33:35Well, what did you think of them?
33:39I've seen worse on top of the Pops, Bruce.
33:42We all have, we all have.
33:44Great piano technique, just going for it or what.
33:47Yes, fantastic.
33:49But first of all, what do you think?
33:51I just love the gear, looking very good,
33:53and good piano, raising the leg technique,
33:55splendid, seeing that kind of stuff down the park.
33:57I think, Tim, six?
33:59Six?
34:00Six out of ten.
34:00All right, well done, Tim.
34:02Well done, Tim.
34:03And how about Margaret?
34:06I would think another six on that.
34:07Another six on that for Margaret, okay.
34:09There it is, there it is.
34:10And what about over here?
34:12Fiona, you can see how it happened in the nightclub, can't you?
34:16Yeah.
34:16With moving like that, I would say eight out of ten.
34:19Yeah, very good.
34:20If you want to move, and the surprise item.
34:24And Charlie, seven, I would think, for that.
34:26Oh, okay.
34:27Well, congratulations on your award.
34:32Thank you very much, please.
34:32Will you take this off for me?
34:34Certainly.
34:34That's very nice.
34:34You know what it is.
34:35Will I get to pay more?
34:36You will, you will.
34:37The check's in the post.
34:38Thank you for it.
34:38Thank you again, Simon Mayo.
34:40There we are.
34:41Now then, what's on the keyboard, Miss Ford?
34:50Margaret and Tim have scored 12.
34:52Fiona and Charlie have scored 15.
34:55Oh, only three of you.
34:57Only three of you.
34:58Okay.
34:59Now, get over there and take those coats off.
35:02All right?
35:03The game is called I'll Be Blowed.
35:06Are you sitting comfortably, children?
35:07I know you're going to enjoy meeting Mr. Rod Sutton.
35:17Now then, Rod, will your brother run a company called Balloon Elegance?
35:24Yes.
35:24How did you all start this?
35:25I went over to America a couple of years ago, put a bit of a trade over there,
35:28and thought I'd come back to this country and give it a go.
35:31Give it a go.
35:31And it's certainly, so you opened a balloon company and it took off?
35:35Took off.
35:35Good.
35:37I think we'll get a move away from them, aren't we?
35:40Okay, come over here, if you will.
35:42Just here, my darlings.
35:43Get nice and close so you can see what he's doing.
35:46And this is a cylinder in here, and he's going to...
35:49Well, you explain what you're doing as you go along, Rod.
35:51Okay, we've got a large balloon here.
35:53Yep, a large balloon.
35:54Just open the end up.
35:55Yep, open the end up a bit.
35:56Slot one of the small balloons.
35:58Slot the small balloon inside.
35:59Inside the large one.
36:01That's it.
36:01This is really fascinating, I think.
36:02I think so.
36:04Okay.
36:04Okay.
36:04Once the little one is inside the big one, blow the big one up by pushing down.
36:16I always do a face on the small one.
36:18Oh, that's a small one.
36:20You see?
36:20Now you get the small one, you see?
36:22And you tie it.
36:23Tie it, the small one.
36:26Sort of small one, you see?
36:27Pop another one.
36:28And then you pop it in.
36:29Oh, no.
36:29It's had a baby.
36:30Don't blow too hard on the nozzle.
36:39Don't blow too hard on the nozzle.
36:41Okay.
36:42You see now, you pop that one in.
36:43And when you pop that one in, you have another one there already.
36:46And then the other one goes.
36:47Isn't this actually incredible?
36:49It's hard, yes.
36:51But you can do it.
36:53Yeah, you'll be marvelous, dear.
36:54Got great shape.
36:55You see?
36:56It goes in another one.
36:59And...
36:59On the fourth one, then you pull it out like that.
37:05And then just a little piece of balloon and the ribbon between your thumb and your four
37:11finger.
37:11Now watch this.
37:13Just wrap it around.
37:15That was good, wasn't it?
37:17And that's it.
37:18There we are.
37:18How about it?
37:21Come back and do some art.
37:23Lovely.
37:23Stay here.
37:24Come over here, my darling.
37:26Now this is your one here.
37:27You've got some spare balloons there as well.
37:30Okay, so are you all ready?
37:31Now, you've got a minute and a half to make your balloons within a balloon, starting from now.
37:37What are you doing now?
37:57What are you doing?
37:58What happened?
38:00You couldn't get the...
38:01Blow the big one up.
38:03Blow the big one up more, dear.
38:05Blow the big one up.
38:10Get the other one over the top.
38:12Just get it over the top.
38:14Oh, yes!
38:15Go, go, go!
38:16Go!
38:17Go!
38:19Go, down, go!
38:24Go!
38:27Go, down, go!
38:28Go!
38:28Go, down, go!
38:29Go, down, go!
38:30Go, down, go!
38:32Go, down, go!
38:33Go!
38:34Go, down, go!
38:35Oh, you could play with this all night, didn't you?
38:44What were you putting in there, laughing gas?
38:47Right, okay, would you like to come back, Rod, and do some marking?
38:50Okay?
38:51Well, you started coming here, didn't you?
38:54Okay.
38:55First of all, let's go in here.
38:57Actually, not bad.
38:58We did get the red one up together.
39:00He did get the red one up there.
39:01It wasn't tied, it's not tied.
39:02Not tied, no, he didn't get tied, none of them.
39:04It was half blown up.
39:05Yeah.
39:06I'll give him a six.
39:07A six for that.
39:08Okay, well done indeed.
39:11Now, she did get one.
39:12She got one in there and it was forming quite nicely
39:14and then it flew out and then it flew in and then that was it.
39:17She had a lot of fun.
39:18Do you want to take it home with you?
39:20Look, what do you think?
39:21Give that a five.
39:22Give that a five?
39:23Oh, well done though, well done.
39:25Now, let's get the other side.
39:27Come in here, stay over there will you, Charlie, that's it.
39:30Now, she's got one little bit, she's hanging on for grim death
39:32with that little bit sticking out there.
39:34I did see the...
39:36Yeah, it did go up.
39:37Oh, I missed that one.
39:38Oh, yeah, missed that one.
39:39I'll give that a five as well.
39:40A five as well for that one?
39:42Okay, alrighty.
39:43Alright.
39:44And what about, well, this is all he's got to offer.
39:48Look at that useless.
39:50I'll give him three.
39:51I'll give him three.
39:52Three for standing there.
39:53Three for standing there.
39:54Three for standing there.
39:55Look at that, Charlie.
39:56Three for standing.
39:57Thank you, Rob.
39:58Good luck with your company.
39:59Good day.
40:00Come on, back there.
40:05Kelly, what's on the board, Miss Ford?
40:08Margaret and Tim have scored 23.
40:1023.
40:11Fiona and Charlie have also scored 23.
40:1323!
40:14Oh!
40:15I think he's going to be a bit close, a tie-breaker.
40:18Right, stand right there, face the front, all of you face the front.
40:22Okay, it's the first one to answer the question correctly.
40:25Okay?
40:26Here we go.
40:27What is the first name of Mrs. Gorbachev?
40:31Rasha.
40:32Rasha, yes.
40:33You were in there.
40:34You were in there.
40:38There we are.
40:40Well, what a fight.
40:41What a fight.
40:42Right.
40:43It's scary like you two, but we do have a Generation Game telephone for both of you,
40:47and thank you for being a part of our show.
40:49So off you go, Margaret and Tim.
40:51There we are.
40:52And let's remind ourselves of who you'll be playing in our grand final.
41:01Right.
41:02Have we got a grand final for you?
41:05A play this week.
41:06We're doing a play, okay?
41:08A chance for you both to do some character acting with a French accent.
41:12So first of all, let's do the vital toss-up.
41:15So Fiona, first of all, heads or tails?
41:17Tails.
41:18Tails, it's heads.
41:20So you've lost the toss.
41:21So do you want to go first or second?
41:23Yes, please.
41:24Okay?
41:25You want to go first?
41:26Off you go over there then.
41:27And will you put these two in a couple of empty oil drums?
41:31Okay?
41:32Fine.
41:33So here we are.
41:34We're ready now for Inspector Clouseau.
41:36Take one.
41:45I am Inspector Clouseau of the Seurat.
41:48The Seurat?
41:49What are you talking about?
41:50The Seurat?
41:51The Sûreté!
41:52The Sûreté!
41:53The French old Bill, for goodness sake.
41:56That's a good start, isn't it?
41:57First line and you cock it up.
41:58Right.
41:59Why is this woman serving?
42:04I am her maid.
42:05She told me she had the gunshots and now her husband is missing.
42:08Her husband's missing?
42:09There must be a corpse somewhere.
42:10Inspector Clouseau.
42:11Look at the closet.
42:12See if there's any corpse in there.
42:14But...
42:15Oh!
42:16Oh!
42:17Oh!
42:18Oh!
42:19Oh!
42:20Oh!
42:21Oh!
42:22Oh!
42:23He's a big fella, isn't he?
42:24Yeah, inspect him.
42:25Inspect him down there.
42:26And look up your next eyes there.
42:27Look.
42:28Roger Morris has set in.
42:30Roger Morris?
42:31Oh!
42:32Rigor mortis, you fool!
42:34Oh, come on!
42:35Go on, now.
42:36Come on, get up here.
42:37Question the corpse's wife.
42:38Go on.
42:39What is your name?
42:40My name is Legover.
42:45What?
42:46It's...
42:47Madam Legover?
42:49No!
42:50It's Legover.
42:51Madam Legover, for heaven's sake.
42:53You stole her crows.
42:55Now, tell us something about your late husband.
42:58Oh!
42:59Oh!
43:00Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:02Oh, yes.
43:03Anything...
43:04Anything else?
43:05Yes.
43:06Oh!
43:07Oh, yes.
43:08Oh, well, I'll be glad when this sobbing sketch is over.
43:10Come on, come on.
43:11Come on, come on.
43:12Mon Dieu!
43:13Mon Dieu!
43:14Now I am a French window!
43:19A French widow, dear.
43:21God damn it!
43:22I know you're...
43:23French widow!
43:24Look, have you...
43:25Sob, dear, and get some...
43:26Get a tissue out.
43:27Get...
43:28Keep...
43:29Keep...
43:30Keep down.
43:31Keep...
43:32Are you sure you're not Mrs Clouseau?
43:33No.
43:34Sob again and faint.
43:35Faint.
43:36Oh!
43:37Oh!
43:38Over here, over here.
43:39Put your legs up.
43:40You'll be more comfortable.
43:41Let's get rid of her.
43:42Right.
43:43Madame's cognac.
43:44Oh, yes.
43:45I think she's had enough already.
43:46Why don't you, er...
43:47Why don't you, er...
43:48Why don't you put some soda in it for her?
43:49I think she's had a bit too much.
43:50Come over here.
43:51Over here, for...
43:52No, there.
43:53And press the lever and just get them soda.
43:54Let me...
43:55Oh!
44:00Why don't you, turn it off!
44:01Turn the...
44:02Turn the damn thing off!
44:05Clabby jokes!
44:06Right.
44:07No wonder you were always wearing Mac.
44:09Right.
44:10Oh!
44:11Look at this!
44:12Look at this!
44:13We are, dear.
44:14Look at this!
44:15There's something under the sofa!
44:17Oh, oh, with that!
44:18Oh, fine.
44:19Get under there.
44:20Get under there.
44:21Be careful!
44:22What's under the sofa?
44:23Quick!
44:24What's under the sofa?
44:25Get...
44:26What's under the sofa?
44:27Get it out!
44:28What's under the sofa?
44:29That's it.
44:30Oh!
44:31Oh, look at that!
44:32Look at that!
44:33Oh, do you hear that?
44:34Jerry Tom!
44:35Tom Jerry!
44:36Oh!
44:37Poor Fluffy!
44:38He must be going potty!
44:39Going potty!
44:40Hey, I'll do the jokes, alright.
44:41I'll do the jokes.
44:42Get over there.
44:43Here we are.
44:44I'll test you on, I'll test you on.
44:45I'll test you on, everybody.
44:46I will search the room for an unexploded berm.
44:47My unexploded berm?
44:48Oh!
44:49Oh, dear, dear!
44:50Oh!
44:51Inspector!
44:52I think I can hear someone in the other closet!
44:53Cover me, Clouseau!
44:54Just stay there and cover me!
44:55Oh, dear, dear!
44:56Oh!
44:57Inspector!
44:58I think I can hear someone in the other closet!
44:59Cover me, Clouseau!
45:00Just stay there and cover me!
45:06Get down there, you fool!
45:08Over here!
45:09Over here!
45:10Over here!
45:11Do all he does!
45:12Oh!
45:13Oh!
45:14Go on!
45:15Good!
45:16Hiya!
45:17Hiya!
45:18Hiya!
45:19Hiya!
45:20Hiya!
45:21Hiya!
45:22Hiya!
45:23Hiya!
45:24Hiya!
45:25Hiya!
45:26Hiya!
45:27Hiya!
45:28Hiya!
45:29Hiya!
45:30Hiya!
45:31Hiya!
45:32Hiya!
45:33Hiya!
45:34Hiya!
45:35Hiya!
45:36Hiya!
45:37Hiya!
45:38Hiya!
45:39Hiya!
45:40Hiya!
45:41Hiya!
45:42Hiya!
45:43Hiya!
45:44Hiya!
45:45Hiya!
45:46Hiya!
45:47Hiya!
45:48Hiya!
45:49Hiya!
45:50Hiya!
45:51Hiya!
45:52Hiya!
45:53Good, that was good, yeah. Enough of all this. Look, there's only one person who can help you, and that's Sherlock Holmes.
45:59Look, now, do this right. Go and get the book there, the one in the middle, again, just pull it out, okay?
46:04And we'll see how Sherlock Holmes will do this.
46:06All right, I did it!
46:09Okay.
46:17But why? But why did you kill him?
46:21Because he stole the only copy of Fly Fishing by J.R. Hartley.
46:31And that was all so good. Good old Yellow Pages.
46:35Thank you so much. It was marvellous.
46:37And thank you so much. It was marvellous.
46:52And thank you so much. It was marvellous.
47:05And it's also thanks to Norman Lumsden, J.R. himself.
47:09Well, anyway, that was absolutely marvellous. Go over there and have a little rest.
47:19Get on now with Inspector Clouseau, take two.
47:22I am Inspector Clouseau.
47:34A crime has been committed, and all of you are sex bots.
47:41Sex bots?
47:42All of you are suspects!
47:43Oh, what's she going off a bit early for, right?
47:47Well, she's going...
47:49Oh, sorry, the crows. Right.
47:54Why is this roaming safe?
47:57I don't know what she's doing.
47:59I'm a maid. She told me she had a gunshot, and now her husband is missing.
48:03Oh, there must be a corpse somewhere.
48:05Inspector, let's find the corpse.
48:07Have a look in this closet, OK?
48:10Here we are.
48:10Oh!
48:11Oh!
48:14Oh, yes.
48:15Down there. OK.
48:17Your next line's on the knife.
48:19Get down here and read it off the knife.
48:20OK, here we go.
48:25A moment.
48:26I have the shortest side and the long side.
48:29LAUGHTER
48:30Your body, you still warm?
48:42Made in she feels stainless steel.
48:45You don't read that!
48:47You don't read that!
48:48Oh, never mind.
48:49Question the corpse's wife.
48:51And go on, where were you?
48:53Where were you at the time of the murder?
48:54Stoner Crouse.
48:55I was out strolling down the pig alley.
48:58The pig alley?
49:00The pig...
49:00That's pig all, dear.
49:02Pig all.
49:03Down the pig alley.
49:04It's the most famous place in Paris, for heaven's sake.
49:07Oh, dear.
49:08Now, tell us...
49:10Tell us something about your late husband.
49:12Oh!
49:13Oh!
49:13Oh!
49:15Oh!
49:17Anything else?
49:18Oh!
49:20You sound as though you're...
49:21You sound as though you're married to Gaza.
49:25LAUGHTER
49:26Where were you today, madame?
49:32I was at work.
49:34I am a senior executive with the international company, Icky.
49:38Icky?
49:39That's I-C-I.
49:40LAUGHTER
49:41If anything's a bit icky round you, it's your acting.
49:47Now, keep stopping you.
49:48Pull out a tissue, pull out a tissue.
49:50That'll keep you busy.
49:51Keep pulling them.
49:52Yeah, hurry up, dear.
49:55Andrick's puppy will be round in a minute.
49:57No, no, no.
49:58Faint.
49:58Just faint.
49:59That's it.
50:00Get your legs up here and that'll do you the world of good.
50:02Oh, quick!
50:03Quick!
50:03What?
50:03Madame's cognac.
50:04Oh, yes.
50:05I think she's had enough already.
50:06But get some soda, a little soda in there for her inspector.
50:10I will do it.
50:10I will do it.
50:10Just pull the lever there, OK?
50:12I will do it.
50:12I will do it.
50:12I will do it.
50:13There's something under the sofa.
50:39Yeah, under the sofa.
50:40Go on, get in there.
50:40Go on, get under the sofa.
50:42I'll see what's happening.
50:42Oh, dear, oh, dear.
50:49What's under the sofa?
50:50Oh, there we are.
50:51Give it here.
50:51Give it here.
50:52Give it here.
50:52Oh, yes.
50:53Get up.
50:55This is the skull of another murder victim.
50:58And this is the skull of the same murder victim when it was a boy.
51:06All right.
51:06Give it up.
51:07I'll take these to the sculleries.
51:09The sculleries.
51:11I'll do the jokes.
51:12Will you stop doing that?
51:14OK, now.
51:15OK, now, off we go now.
51:17Attention, attention.
51:18Attention, everybody.
51:19I will search them for our next blonde bin.
51:25What's wrong with it?
51:26Wait, Peter.
51:27I think I can hear someone in the other closet.
51:29Cover me there.
51:30Just in case.
51:31Cover.
51:31Cover me.
51:32Cover me.
51:32Come on.
51:32Oh.
51:33Oh.
51:33Oh.
51:34Oh.
51:34Oh.
51:35Oh.
51:35Oh.
51:36Oh.
51:36Oh.
51:37Oh.
51:38Oh.
51:38Do what he does.
51:39Do what he does.
51:39Do what he does, right?
51:39Lyle.
51:40Go on.
51:41Yo.
51:41Dami.
51:42Dami.
51:43Dami.
51:43Oh no.
51:48Oh.
51:48He's all right.
51:50OK.
51:51Now, grab him.
51:51Grab him with him.
51:52Down here.
51:53OK.
51:53Take it easy.
51:54Round this way.
51:55And there's throwing through the window.
51:57No, we went through the window.
51:58No, no.
51:58We can't go through the window.
51:59Throw him just.
52:00Throw him over there.
52:01Throw him over there.
52:01Oh.
52:02Oh.
52:02Well, you never know, do you?
52:22Thank you, the Gay Gordons.
52:25Didn't you hear that, dear?
52:27Get up your next line, quick, hurry up.
52:29Round here, up here.
52:30You're full of bandages.
52:32Over there, good.
52:33Come round here.
52:34Get over here, right.
52:37No, you'll notice.
52:38Right, go on.
52:39Inspector, you are a Parisian planquer.
52:43Right, now look, let's clear this mess up.
52:45Get all the suspects to swear on the Bible
52:48what they were doing at the time of the murder.
52:50Now, there's a bookcase over there.
52:51Now, don't muck this up.
52:52Get the Bible and just bring it over to us.
52:55Bring the Bible.
52:56Bring it here.
52:57Oh, good morning.
53:00Oh, that's all we need.
53:08Another stupid French bulletin.
53:11In Spuchta, I have solved the cuss for you.
53:14No cream has occurred.
53:16Well, if it wasn't a cream,
53:18I mean, if it wasn't a custard,
53:19I mean, if it wasn't a crime,
53:21what was it?
53:22The victim committed suicide.
53:24It wasn't a dod.
53:24It wasn't a dod.
53:25It wasn't a dod.
53:26LAUGHTER
53:26WHISTLE BLOWS
53:56Oh, hello, hello. Yeah.
53:58OK, well, you two come over here.
54:01Can we have the other two back, please?
54:02OK, fine.
54:04Well, now, who, what?
54:06Oh, Rosie, sorry, dear.
54:09I forgot you were there, dear.
54:11I hope it hasn't spoiled anything.
54:15OK, now, who better to judge this
54:17than the man who played Clouseau's
54:19faithful but physical man-servant,
54:22Bert Kwok.
54:23Hey!
54:26Oh, Rosie, lovely to see you again.
54:33Good to see you again.
54:33And those films will go on forever,
54:35and you will go on forever with them
54:37because they were so wonderful.
54:38You know, Bruce, while watching those,
54:39I felt that the whole of my past life
54:42flashed at me.
54:43She says, you're a lovely crier,
54:50and I fell in love with your split at the end.
54:54That was wonderful.
54:55The split was fantastic.
54:57Tremendous.
54:58And Will, kung fu, tremendous.
55:01Good stuff.
55:02Almost as good as me.
55:03Fiona, you're a lovely waler.
55:09Yes, it was a wail.
55:10Oh, it was a wonderful wail.
55:12I thought we were back in the blitz again or something.
55:16Now, Charlie, I loved your ad-libbing with the glasses.
55:20Yes.
55:20Beautiful stuff.
55:22Wonderful.
55:22You did a very good fight with my grandson.
55:27Oh, yeah.
55:28And I decided that Tracy and Will get 17 marks,
55:34and Fiona and Charlie get 18 marks.
55:38Oh, well, very close.
55:43Very close indeed.
55:44I would like to make that decision.
55:46Thank you very much, Bert.
55:47We'll see you back with wonderful memories,
55:49and we'll see you again soon.
55:51We'll have to do another clue, though.
55:53Come in here.
55:53Well, I'll tell you something.
55:55It was very, very close.
55:57Bad luck to you two,
55:58but you do have a Generation Gamer answering machine
56:00and telephone to each of you.
56:01Thank you so much, my darling.
56:03And you, come on, through the door here.
56:05Come on.
56:06We're out here and get back.
56:07Whoa, when all these...
56:09Take the doors away, please.
56:15Lots of articles in the past before your eyes.
56:17Have a good look.
56:17Everything you remember, you will take home with your night.
56:19Are you ready?
56:20You've got 40 seconds starting from now.
56:25On the conveyor belt tonight,
56:26we have the home delicatessent,
56:28a portable colour TV set,
56:30an executive fitness centre,
56:31an overcooked chicken,
56:33a ladies' cardigan,
56:35a Chinese rug,
56:38a case of champagne,
56:39a bucket and spade,
56:41his and hers razors,
56:43a collection of perfumes,
56:45an electric keyboard,
56:46a deep fat fryer,
56:47a silver photo frame,
56:49a food processor,
56:51a silk tie and scarf set,
56:54a set of hair benders,
56:56a sports bag,
56:57a personal karaoke,
56:59two decorative plates,
57:01a money talks talking radio.
57:03Now, keep thinking all the time,
57:06nice thoughts,
57:07keep thinking.
57:08There we are.
57:09Go and sit yourselves down.
57:11Okay.
57:11Now, we want you to try to remember
57:13everything you saw there.
57:14Okay, you'll get the first 20 seconds.
57:16When you hear a funny noise,
57:17you'll get the second 20 seconds.
57:1840 seconds starts now.
57:21Pasta, television,
57:22bucket and spade,
57:23chicken,
57:24chicken,
57:25plates,
57:26jumper,
57:26perfume,
57:27karaoke,
57:28keyboard,
57:29sports things,
57:30cuddly toy,
57:32food processor,
57:33food processor,
57:33champagne,
57:37champagne,
57:37you've got so many there.
57:40You've got the first
57:43of the creative plates,
57:45the continental coffee maker,
57:47you like coffee makers?
57:48What can you think of anything else?
57:50I want to make yourself fit.
57:52Perfume.
57:52Perfume, yes,
57:53we've got that.
57:54Silver frame.
57:55Super frame, yes.
57:56Do you keep yourself fit?
57:56His and hers.
57:57Yeah, the his and hers.
57:58The his and hers raisins.
57:59Raisins.
58:00Yes.
58:01What about you?
58:02Oh, didn't they do well?
58:04You look so many.
58:05You start with happy fans.
58:06Happy you come here.
58:08Oh, yes.
58:09Oh, yes.
58:09You did so well.
58:14At the start,
58:15you just rattle them all,
58:16but I'm gae glad you got
58:18the overcooked chicken
58:20because that is
58:20the microwave combination oven.
58:22And look here,
58:23the bucket and spade was
58:25a sunshine holiday for four
58:28in Ibiza.
58:29How about that?
58:30It's Ibiza.
58:31Good.
58:32Here we are.
58:33On behalf of Rosary,
58:35and myself,
58:36and everybody,
58:37and I do meet everybody,
58:38goodnight,
58:39God bless you,
58:39see you next week,
58:41be there.
58:41Okay, come on.
59:13You're a baby
59:15You're a baby
59:17You're a baby
59:19Hey!
59:21Come on now!