Dave & Chuck the Freak ask listeners to share their secret arrangements this morning and they include a girl who farts in someones face and a girl who lets her boyfriend hunt for threesomes.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00We want to know from you, what's your secret arrangement that no one knows about?
00:13This girl says, I didn't say yes, but I did have a guy friend offer me to live in his loft, rent-free.
00:20He'd buy me anything I need. It would be platonic, as long as I would fart in his face.
00:26Ah, that's a hell of a request.
00:30You're going to turn that offer down, m'lady?
00:32Yeah, I don't know. What am I doing, though? You know what I mean?
00:35Oh, wow. What am I doing?
00:37Yeah, I feel like it's not totally platonic that way.
00:39Yeah.
00:40What a weird thing.
00:42Your friends are like, what do you do? This is such a nice place.
00:46I just saw a fart in this guy's face and buy me anything I want.
00:50It's got freedom and a free place. It's pretty sweet.
00:54Hello, who's your friend here?
00:57Have you told her of our arrangement?
01:00Yeah, I just told her about how I fart in your face all the time.
01:04So, little lady, you looking to make a little extra on the side, fart in an old man's face?
01:11He's a really nice guy. It sounds weirder on paper than you would think.
01:17Like, it's not as bad, because you just fart and then it's over. It's like a band-aid.
01:23I'll never touch you. I'll never do anything. All I need is your sweet gas on me.
01:26That's right.
01:28I have these Fiber One bars here for you.
01:29Yeah, I was going to say, you have to eat a lot of fibrous food.
01:31Yeah.
01:32Like a lot of cabbage.
01:33I'd say that's the hardest part, is having one on deck.
01:36Just ready to go for him. That's like part of it. That's part of the job, the work part.
01:40Like me? Sure, I got one in the chamber.
01:44Does he have a fart quota she has to make every week?
01:4720 farts.
01:48Elizabeth!
01:50Hi, good morning. How are you?
01:52Good, how are you?
01:53Good. I'm wondering what your secret arrangement is.
01:56Well, my fiancé I've been with for three years. It's kind of our deal when he goes out to
02:04a bar and has a good time. If he can pick up a girl, he can bring her back home and we
02:10all can have some fun. But he's kind of, he's like 275, like six foot three. He's a bigger
02:17guy, so it's kind of an ish thing.
02:20Oh, so he can't really make it happen all the time.
02:23Yeah, but he's trying. She's real confident he's got no chance.
02:25So she's just not worried.
02:26Oh, so it hasn't happened yet?
02:29It hasn't happened yet, but he's fine.
02:33Oh, you're dangling poor Karen in front of him.
02:36Oh, she's smart. She's kind of smart.
02:37You are kind of smart.
02:38You might be talking to the smartest girl you've ever talked to.
02:40Because he's like, in his mind, he's like, I have the best girlfriend.
02:44She lets me try to bring other women home.
02:47I got freedom, guys.
02:49I haven't been able to.
02:50No.
02:51They're like, dude, how many, yeah, like his buddy's like, how many threesomes have you had?
02:55Not a one.
02:56Not a one.
02:57I cannot find a girl for the life of me.
03:00What you call a dry spell?
03:04Oh, wow.
03:04He must be just at the clubs all the time, though.
03:07Oh, my God.
03:08Ladies, anybody.
03:09Listen to how giggly she is, dude.
03:11She's like, yeah, I let him go.
03:12It's so dumb.
03:13Yay.
03:14So stupid.
03:15It's so very simple.
03:17That's a great secret arrangement.
03:18Listen, you're a big dude, so it's probably never going to happen.
03:21Right.
03:21But if you find another lady to come back here, bring her back.
03:25That's all he's doing is trying so hard.
03:27I know.
03:27It's like all his energy.
03:28He's waiting.
03:30And we don't know how even about him, you know?
03:33We don't.
03:34He could.
03:36He might talk like this.
03:38We don't even know what.
03:39She's so secure.
03:40Yeah.
03:41It's like, no, trust me.
03:42I'm the only girl who likes you.
03:44You know, he says something, too, before he goes out.
03:45He's like, you better keep your bits on ice.
03:47Because, uh, tonight is, tonight is, and she's like, okay, I'm ready.
03:54She goes right to bed.
03:57Sorry, baby, didn't happen today.
04:00Swing and message.
04:01Swing and message.
04:03Tonight.
04:03Swing.
04:04Struck out.
04:05Maybe next time.
04:07Yeah.
04:09Wow, that's unbelievable.
04:10That's awesome.
04:10Oh, every guy would be trying so hard to make it happen.
04:14Yeah.
04:15Don't get it.
04:16I just really turned on the charm tonight.
04:18Still nothing, babe.
04:19This woman says, I'm a lady.
04:21I have an arrangement with a male co-worker.
04:22When we started working together, we both had a partner.
04:25Well, his girlfriend won't do certain things he's into.
04:28And my boyfriend won't do certain things I'm into.
04:31So once a month, we get together, and we do those things.
04:34Been going on for about three years.
04:36Kills the frustration of not getting what each of us really wants.
04:39I wonder what exactly that is.
04:42Butt stuff?
04:42You think that's what it is?
04:44Yeah, I think it is.
04:45Or maybe it could be the dominant stuff, or the biting, and the tying down.
04:48I bet it's all the butt stuff.
04:50I think it's butt stuff.
04:51I think it's butt butt.
04:53One person likes it.
04:55The other person likes to get it.
04:57They're just little butt puzzle pieces.
05:00They all fit together.
05:02Yeah, I wouldn't just know what it is they can do together that their partners don't offer up.
05:07If it is butt or not.
05:08I mean, honestly, there's probably a lot of different things.
05:13You know?
05:13Like RJ's.
05:16You know?
05:17It's our reaction every time someone does that.
05:19Whoa.
05:20Yeah.
05:21Whoosh.
05:22Woof.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Brr.
05:24Brr.
05:26Hamana, hamana, hamana.
05:27Jay.
05:28Ooh.
05:30Ooh.
05:30Ooh.
05:33Ooh.
05:33Ooh.
05:34Ooh.
05:34Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:35Ooh.
05:36Ooh.
05:36Ooh.
05:36Ooh.
05:37Ooh.
05:37Ooh.
05:42I mean...
05:42It's...
05:43It's a different reaction.