Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about the things undercover police officers are allowed to do while working and imagine what could happen if Dave took a job undercover.
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00:00Under Michigan law, it is legal for police to have sex with prostitutes during an undercover investigation.
00:17Cops can nail hookers if they're on an undercover investigation.
00:22You know, I actually think that you need this depending on what I'm doing.
00:30What am I proving that she's going to have sex with me?
00:32No, I think it's for deeper stuff than this.
00:35I think it's when it's like, so I am an undercover cop and I am going after Andy.
00:41And Andy is big time into the drug world.
00:44Right.
00:45Okay.
00:45And so we're hanging out one night and then Andy's like, I brought us some bitches.
00:50Yeah, look at these hookers I brought.
00:52And then I'm like, oh, Jesus, I'm okay, man.
00:55I really think that that's...
00:57That would kind of blow your cover.
00:58Yeah.
00:58What do you mean you don't bang hookers, I'd say?
01:01And I'm telling...
01:02And you'll see if your suspicions will go up.
01:05And I'll tell you...
01:06But it's crazy the line of illegal activity that they're not allowed to do.
01:10Yeah.
01:11Like, what was that guy that brought down...
01:12They can't do drugs.
01:13Well, at least they weren't supposed to, but...
01:15I know...
01:16I knew some guys that were undercover.
01:18They did more stuff.
01:20You know, it was almost one of the things that got them.
01:22So, like, if cops go in to bust a rub-and-tug, they can be tugged and be cool?
01:28Like, I don't think this is really about prostitutes and rub-and-tugs.
01:35This is about deeper crap.
01:37I had a buddy who used to do this, deep undercover stuff.
01:40And he...
01:41I mean, the stories he has blow me away.
01:44Right.
01:44He didn't mention that he had to bang anyone.
01:46No, but also it's like, okay, well...
01:49So Andy busts out a bunch of coke.
01:53Yeah, you can't not do the coke.
01:54Well, and speaking of that, we have an undercover cop here.
01:56Voice-changing technology.
01:58Good morning, Anonymous.
01:59How are you?
02:00Good morning.
02:01Good.
02:01How are you?
02:02Good.
02:02So we're talking about the fact that it's legal for police to have sex with prostitutes
02:06during an undercover investigation.
02:07You had a story you wanted to share.
02:10Yeah, so back in my younger years, we used to, you know, get down with the A.
02:17And there was this dude that would hang out with us.
02:20Like, he was a friend of a friend.
02:22Like, literally six months, we would all hang out, partying all night.
02:25And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like four or five of my friends got busted.
02:31And this dude was an undercover Norco.
02:34So he did cocaine with you guys?
02:35He partied with us all night, every night, like, straight up.
02:40Yeah, he was one of the dudes.
02:43Would he do it or just pretend?
02:44Because I'd, like, pretend to snort it.
02:45How are you?
02:46How are you going to do that?
02:47Yeah, he's a really good boy.
02:49You know, five lines would be five people.
02:52All five lines are going to disappear.
02:54I'd blow it up.
02:56No, no.
02:57They'd be on to Dave so quick.
02:59Undercover Dave will be on to Dave.
03:01Undercover Dave?
03:02Dave's mustache he would grow to be.
03:03Dave trying to infiltrate a drug ring or something would be hilarious.
03:10Yeah, pass me that.
03:11Let's do an A.
03:13Pass me that cocaine.
03:14He'd be Googling what is an A.
03:16Well, it's yay is what she said.
03:18Oh, yay.
03:19Okay.
03:20What is yay?
03:20I'll Google an A.
03:22I'm ready to do an A with you, fellas.
03:23I figured I could, like, you know, pretend I'm doing a line, but I didn't really just blow
03:30it off, like, yeah, this is a great cocaine.
03:32They're going to notice that.
03:33They're going to notice that.
03:35Yeah, woo!
03:37Let's all do an A.
03:39The Google correct is like, no, it's not an A.
03:43Pass the A.
03:45I guess it's one of those parties where we're all doing a bunch of A, huh?
03:49I'm in.
03:50Why wouldn't I be in?
03:52I hate to see Dave's undercover cop movie where they only bust rub and tugs.
03:56She tugs me again.
03:57Get him in here.
03:58Let's go.
03:58That was an official tug.
04:01Undercover Dave.
04:03Undercover Dave.
04:05Oh, yeah.
04:06I'll do cocaine.
04:09I think this man just blew all that cocaine everywhere.
04:13There's a huge cloud of smoke.
04:16It's like, what?
04:17That's not how you do cocaine, Dave.
04:18I can't tell you something in my throat.
04:20It's the cough.
04:22Undercover Dave turns down drugs.
04:24Sorry, guys.
04:25I don't know if you messed up on the B.
04:27Extra strength Benadryl.
04:28Now I have an extra strength Benadryl to be.
04:31I am.
04:32I'm going to be asleep in 10 minutes.
04:40Brutus, one more story here.
04:41Hi, Brutus.
04:41Good morning.
04:42Hey, so this isn't about a cop or something.
04:47This isn't about a cop banging a prostitute.
04:49This is about my buddy banging a cop while she was undercover.
04:54She was working out at Burning Man, a psychedelic festival out in Nevada.
04:59Yeah.
05:00And the cop got too intoxicated on the psychedelics that that tribe was providing, found my buddy,
05:07confessed, said, hey, I'm infiltrating this group.
05:11There's these people in this that I got to get, and I'm an undercover.
05:13I feel so guilty about doing it, but spilled it.
05:17So my buddy took her to his tent and gave it to her good all night.
05:20Said, you know, hey, that's the police, basically.
05:23Oh, wow.
05:24See, that would take down undercover Dave.
05:27Yeah.
05:27I'd do some drugs, and then I'd spill my beans.
05:30Oh, yeah, Dave.
05:31Listen, guys.
05:32You guys are all going to jail.
05:34You are.
05:35Not now.
05:37But, boy, oh, boy, after this Burning Man, the stuff I've seen you guys do, and you've
05:44made me do, oh, boy, you guys are going to jail forever.
05:52Man, I'm high.
05:53Yeah, I'd spill the beans.
05:55I know.
05:55I'd ruin it for myself.
05:57Yeah.
05:57I cannot be in an undercover situation with any sensitive material locked in his head.
06:01No.
06:02Have a couple of whiskeys, and look out.
06:05Yeah.
06:05I'll tell you everything.
06:06I'll tell you everything.
06:08I'll tell you...
06:08I'll tell you I'll tell you everything.
06:12Yeah.