📽️ The Girl on the Boat (1961) is a charming British romantic comedy based on the whimsical novel by P.G. Wodehouse. This lighthearted film captures the spirit of early 20th-century British humor, bringing to life a delightful ensemble of quirky characters, improbable romance, and upper-class shenanigans aboard an ocean liner sailing from New York to England.
🎞️ Set in the elegant, yet mischievous world of the idle rich, the story revolves around the adventures of Sam Marlowe, a rich and affable young bachelor who is entangled in romantic entrapments while crossing the Atlantic. With a comically tangled plot full of mistaken identities, surprise engagements, and eccentric suitors, the film is a classic Wodehouse tale — crisp, witty, and full of charm.
📜 Plot Summary:
🛳️ Setting Sail for Romance and Chaos
Sam Marlowe, a wealthy and carefree young man, boards the ocean liner Atlantic with the hope of escaping the complexities of romantic entanglement. His plans are dashed when he discovers that the beautiful and independent Wilhelmina "Billie" Bennett is also on board — the same woman he fell in love with in New York.
💔 Past Love, Present Problems
Despite having once proposed to Billie, Sam’s feelings are reignited, though Billie now appears more interested in Bream Mortimer, a pompous and overly confident man. Determined not to lose her, Sam engages in a series of absurd and hilarious attempts to win her back, including impersonating a dog trainer, hiding in her stateroom, and even singing under her window at night.
🤣 Eccentric Characters and Madcap Schemes
The ship becomes a microcosm of upper-class absurdity, featuring characters like Jane Hubbard, a formidable woman with a shotgun, and Sir Mallaby Marlowe, Sam's father, who delivers stern lectures on duty and dignity. Through a maze of deception, rejections, and misunderstandings, Sam fumbles his way toward redemption and love.
❤️ Love Wins at Sea
By the time the ship docks in Southampton, after many comic failures and one memorable soaking in the ship’s pool, Sam manages to redeem himself in Billie’s eyes. The film ends with reconciliations, new romantic pairings, and a reaffirmation of the chaos and charm of true love.
🎞️ Set in the elegant, yet mischievous world of the idle rich, the story revolves around the adventures of Sam Marlowe, a rich and affable young bachelor who is entangled in romantic entrapments while crossing the Atlantic. With a comically tangled plot full of mistaken identities, surprise engagements, and eccentric suitors, the film is a classic Wodehouse tale — crisp, witty, and full of charm.
📜 Plot Summary:
🛳️ Setting Sail for Romance and Chaos
Sam Marlowe, a wealthy and carefree young man, boards the ocean liner Atlantic with the hope of escaping the complexities of romantic entanglement. His plans are dashed when he discovers that the beautiful and independent Wilhelmina "Billie" Bennett is also on board — the same woman he fell in love with in New York.
💔 Past Love, Present Problems
Despite having once proposed to Billie, Sam’s feelings are reignited, though Billie now appears more interested in Bream Mortimer, a pompous and overly confident man. Determined not to lose her, Sam engages in a series of absurd and hilarious attempts to win her back, including impersonating a dog trainer, hiding in her stateroom, and even singing under her window at night.
🤣 Eccentric Characters and Madcap Schemes
The ship becomes a microcosm of upper-class absurdity, featuring characters like Jane Hubbard, a formidable woman with a shotgun, and Sir Mallaby Marlowe, Sam's father, who delivers stern lectures on duty and dignity. Through a maze of deception, rejections, and misunderstandings, Sam fumbles his way toward redemption and love.
❤️ Love Wins at Sea
By the time the ship docks in Southampton, after many comic failures and one memorable soaking in the ship’s pool, Sam manages to redeem himself in Billie’s eyes. The film ends with reconciliations, new romantic pairings, and a reaffirmation of the chaos and charm of true love.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00The End
00:01:30You will now please remember that in my form, Electra's, I made it quite clear, I hope...
00:01:55If you please, ma'am.
00:01:56Well?
00:01:57There's a gentleman in the hall.
00:01:59Didn't you tell him I was not to be disturbed?
00:02:02Yes, ma'am.
00:02:04He...
00:02:04He says his name is Samuel Marlow.
00:02:07That's my nephew's name.
00:02:09He's in...
00:02:10England!
00:02:11No, I'm not, Aunt Adeline.
00:02:14Well, Samuel?
00:02:16Oh, very well, thank you, Auntie.
00:02:23I say, jolly day, what?
00:02:26So I imagine.
00:02:27I haven't been out yet.
00:02:28You haven't changed since you were a little boy, Samuel.
00:02:36I must have filled out a bit.
00:02:38I'm not referring to your physique, but your deplorable habit of fiddling.
00:02:44Sit down.
00:02:44I just looked in to see how you are.
00:02:53Very kind of you.
00:02:54It wasn't my idea.
00:02:56Oh, I mean, father asked me to, on a business matter, about letting your house.
00:03:03Wendells?
00:03:04These American clients are fathers, the Mortimers.
00:03:06They're still very anxious.
00:03:07I will not let Wendells.
00:03:09Before I left England, I told your father that my answer was no, no, no.
00:03:13And when you see him again, you can tell him it's still no, no, no.
00:03:16And will remain no, no, no.
00:03:20Then your answer, I take it, is no.
00:03:26Did your father send you all the way to America just to tell me that?
00:03:30Oh, no, no.
00:03:31I'm on holiday.
00:03:33I wonder your father doesn't insist on your doing some useful work.
00:03:36Well, he is beginning to harp on the subject, rather.
00:03:40I suppose I'll have to take a stab at it sooner or later.
00:03:43How long are you staying here?
00:03:45Sailing home Saturday, on the SS Atlantic.
00:03:48Indeed.
00:03:49So is your cousin, Eustace.
00:03:51Oh, say, how splendid.
00:03:53By the way, where is he?
00:03:54Where he usually is, before noon, asleep.
00:03:57All right.
00:03:58Well, I can see you're busy with your lecture.
00:04:06I mustn't interrupt you.
00:04:09I suppose you're having a simply marvellous time, gassing away.
00:04:12I mean, uh, goodbye, Aunt, uh, Aunt Adeline.
00:04:21Goodbye.
00:04:21Please, ma'am.
00:04:27There's another gentleman in the hall.
00:04:28Oh, this is incoherable.
00:04:30My morning's work will...
00:04:32Mrs. Hicknett, my name is Mortimer.
00:04:34I must have a word with you.
00:04:36Alone.
00:04:38Well, I'll just run along and say hello to old Eustace.
00:04:41Mrs. Hicknett, I hardly know where to begin.
00:04:43Then let me help you.
00:04:45It is quite impossible.
00:04:47I will never consent.
00:04:49Never, never.
00:04:50Then you've heard about it?
00:04:51I've heard about nothing else since I met your father in London.
00:04:55Your father is J.P. Mortimer.
00:04:58Then I tell you once and for all that nothing, no amount of money, will induce me to let my country house.
00:05:04But I haven't come about that.
00:05:05Then will you kindly tell me what you have come about?
00:05:07With pleasure.
00:05:10This is Mr. Eustace's room.
00:05:21Eustace.
00:05:40Eustace, what are you doing?
00:05:42I don't think...
00:05:42Shh.
00:05:44I'm getting married this morning.
00:05:46In bed?
00:05:47In church.
00:05:49And your mother doesn't know?
00:05:51No, of course not.
00:05:53Oh.
00:05:56My son.
00:05:57Yes.
00:05:58At 11.
00:05:59In the little church around the corner.
00:06:02Are you mad?
00:06:03Well, I'm not exactly pleased about it.
00:06:05You see, I'm in love with this girl myself.
00:06:07We must nip this deceitful plan in the bud.
00:06:10I'm very glad you feel that way.
00:06:12I shall take immediate steps.
00:06:14Wait here for a moment.
00:06:17She's at the church now.
00:06:19Oh.
00:06:19Who's this?
00:06:23He's sleeping like a log, aren't he?
00:06:25Is he indeed?
00:06:26Yes.
00:06:26I can't seem to wake him at all.
00:06:30It doesn't matter.
00:06:32I merely want to send his trousers to the breast.
00:06:35He used this.
00:06:50What is the meaning of this?
00:06:53Well, you see, mother, mother, the fact is, mother, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.
00:06:58Stop battling.
00:06:59I can't understand a word.
00:07:01I can, auntie.
00:07:02What is trying to say?
00:07:03No, no, mother, the thing is, mother, the fact.
00:07:04Well, what he's trying to say is that he was too tired to undress last night, so he slept in his clothes.
00:07:09That's it.
00:07:10That's exactly what I said.
00:07:11You see, the fact is, last night, I...
00:07:13Is it in his clothes, Thudy?
00:07:15Yes.
00:07:16Then these will need pressing, too.
00:07:20Yes, mother.
00:07:20Sam, what'll I do?
00:07:48Don't worry, I'll lend you mine.
00:07:51Would you?
00:07:52I can't tell you how everlastingly grateful I'll be.
00:08:15It's no use, he's trapped us.
00:08:17There's still the fire escape.
00:08:18But we haven't got any trousers.
00:08:20You can rest assured, Mr. Mortimer, he will not be there.
00:08:24You're sure?
00:08:25You can go to the church and tell Miss whatever her name is.
00:08:29Bennett.
00:08:30Wilhelmina Bennett.
00:08:31Miss Bennett, that Eustace is otherwise engaged.
00:08:35We can't walk up on the streets of New York without any clothes on.
00:08:38And why not?
00:08:39We'll catch cold.
00:08:40You see, nothing of being arrested.
00:08:41Oh, don't worry about that.
00:08:44Just do as I say.
00:08:47No, not your underwear.
00:08:49Come on.
00:08:50Mattis, what do people think?
00:08:52They will think we're English.
00:08:53Come on.
00:08:54Oh, how do you do?
00:09:07I love the day.
00:09:09Oh, what did I tell you?
00:09:27Right to the church?
00:09:28Yes, this way.
00:09:29What do you think you're English?
00:09:48Fabio.
00:09:52Justice.
00:09:53Just a moment.
00:10:01Officer, leave this one to me.
00:10:03But, madam.
00:10:03Ow!
00:10:04Justice.
00:10:04But, mother, I...
00:10:05You deceitful and wittful son.
00:10:08But, mother, I...
00:10:09I'm home.
00:10:09But, mother, I...
00:10:10Poor old useless.
00:10:12Oh, no, you don't.
00:10:13Oh, it's all right, officer.
00:10:14I'm English.
00:10:15Are you now?
00:10:16Well, I'm Irish.
00:10:17So you'll want to think of a better excuse than that.
00:10:23Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:10:53Aunt Adeline, I'm sorry.
00:10:55Here is your picket, Eustace.
00:10:57Yes, mother.
00:10:57Your cabin is 6780.
00:10:59Yes, mother.
00:11:00I suggest that you go to it immediately and stay there for the remainder of the boat.
00:11:04Yes, mother.
00:11:04I'll take good care of them, Aunt Adeline.
00:11:06Your hot water bottle is in your cabin trunk.
00:11:09Yes, mother.
00:11:10Don't worry, auntie.
00:11:10I'll see the...
00:11:11Goodbye, Eustace.
00:11:14Goodbye, mother.
00:11:17Goodbye, Aunt Adeline.
00:11:18Goodbye, Aunt Adeline.
00:11:23Daddy's office said they're sending a man over with the money right away.
00:11:35Don't worry.
00:11:36If he doesn't turn up, I can lend you something.
00:11:39Lady Vanessinger went on board.
00:11:40Oh?
00:11:40We better look.
00:11:42Now, now, you try the lounge.
00:11:43Yeah.
00:11:43And I'll check with the purser.
00:11:45Yeah.
00:11:46You see him anywhere?
00:11:47No, I don't.
00:11:48You think that...
00:11:49Oh, I wish he'd have...
00:11:49Well, I don't know where he is.
00:11:51Just go straight out.
00:11:52Oh, dear.
00:11:54He finally turned up.
00:11:55Where have you been for the past two days?
00:11:56I had a little difficulty convincing the police that I wasn't some sort of a maniac.
00:11:59I'm not surprised.
00:12:01Why I haven't let you talk me into a...
00:12:02Oh, what's wrong?
00:12:05I'm sick.
00:12:07Affairs of the heart often have that sort of reaction.
00:12:09It's nothing to do with that.
00:12:10I'm seasick.
00:12:11You're not even on the boat yet.
00:12:14It'll be worse, then.
00:12:25My name is Bennett.
00:12:26Was there an envelope left here for me?
00:12:28I'll check, Miss Bennett.
00:12:30Oh, thank you.
00:12:34Now, you behave, you naughty dog.
00:12:39I'll just get to my cabinet once and lie down.
00:12:41Eustace, try to eat something.
00:12:45Well, it's my other...
00:12:47Good morning.
00:13:03My name is Linda.
00:13:08Marlowe, could you arrange to have me transferred to cabin 67?
00:13:26Marlowe, could you arrange to have me transferred to cabin 67?
00:13:31Hey, Dick.
00:13:32Very good, sir.
00:13:38Say, you bit me.
00:13:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:13:42I've heard of people shoving and jostling. I've never heard of anyone biting.
00:13:45But you don't understand.
00:13:53It's perfectly all right.
00:13:55You can bite me any time, anywhere.
00:13:58It was Pinky Boodles.
00:14:01Oh, I thought...
00:14:06What a sweet little dog.
00:14:08You naughty dog.
00:14:10I'm sorry, miss. There's nothing for you.
00:14:12Oh.
00:14:15Well, perhaps it's in my cabin.
00:14:17Excuse me.
00:14:20I can put you in cabin 67, sir. Eh, Dick?
00:14:23Lovely.
00:14:24Perfectly lovely.
00:14:26Divine.
00:14:27Divine.
00:14:28All visitors, would you all please?
00:14:30Oh.
00:14:31Hello?
00:14:32Oh, you must be Miss Bennet.
00:14:33My name is Jane Hubbard.
00:14:34I understand that we're sharing this cabin.
00:14:36Well, if you could squeeze me in, I'd be very grateful.
00:14:40Oh, we're going to be great shipmates.
00:14:41I can see that already.
00:14:42Do you like dogs?
00:14:43Well, I'm used to larger targets, but...
00:14:45Oh, I see. I'm only joking. It's not a joke.
00:14:49Um, was there a messenger looking for me?
00:14:50Not that I know of.
00:14:51Well, I... I think I'd better go off on deck. I must find him. I'll see you later.
00:14:57Yeah, right, hell.
00:15:03Okay.
00:15:11Bye.
00:15:13Bye.
00:15:14Bye.
00:15:15Goodbye.
00:15:20What?
00:15:21Did you find him?
00:15:26Well, he didn't come aboard.
00:15:27I've looked everywhere.
00:15:30There he is.
00:15:31In the car.
00:15:34Mr. Simpson.
00:15:35Mr. Simpson.
00:15:38Oh, here.
00:15:42Throw it.
00:15:44Throw the money.
00:15:47Here we are.
00:15:51What's wrong?
00:16:19What's wrong?
00:16:20There seems to be a man overboard.
00:16:21Why doesn't somebody do something?
00:16:23Sure.
00:16:24Well, what do you expect me to do?
00:16:26Jump in after him?
00:16:27Well, that would be the sporting thing to do.
00:16:29Well, why don't you do it then?
00:16:31I can't swim.
00:16:32You could learn.
00:16:33Well, you're afraid.
00:16:47You are afraid.
00:17:00Oh, my God.
00:17:30There, that better?
00:17:39Boy, are you wet.
00:17:42Yes, sirree, you sure are wet.
00:17:44I've seen wet guys, but I've never seen one so wet like you.
00:17:47It's the water that does it.
00:17:48It'll do it every time.
00:17:50Where is she?
00:17:51Where's who?
00:17:52The boat.
00:17:53The ship.
00:17:56About a mile downriver, I figure.
00:17:58I'll give you $50 to take me there.
00:18:00I'll give you $50 to take me there.
00:18:03Hey, Bob, $50 to take me there.
00:18:07Queen, you set a mouthful.
00:18:09You're very wet, sir.
00:18:28Good Lord, sir.
00:18:35You are wet.
00:18:40Mummy, why is that man all wet?
00:18:47My dear sir, you're very wet.
00:18:49I'm wet.
00:18:59Do you mind?
00:19:04I say, you're wet.
00:19:05Little child thing, yes.
00:19:24Yes.
00:19:28Oh, how are you?
00:19:30Absolutely splendid, thanks.
00:19:31Didn't you get very wet?
00:19:34Well, I did get a little wet.
00:19:37This is Mr.
00:19:38Marlow.
00:19:39Mr. Bream Mortimer.
00:19:41We have met.
00:19:43Bream, do be a dear and see about our places for lunch.
00:19:46Oh, it's okay.
00:19:47The steward said so.
00:19:47Oh, but please go and make certain.
00:19:50All right.
00:19:51Oh, would you please take this down to the cabin for me?
00:19:55Okay.
00:19:56Mr. Marlow, when you start to die, well, I never saw anything so marvellous in my life.
00:20:05It's the sort of thing that a Sir Lancelot or a Sir Galahad would have done.
00:20:09Oh, you really are the bravest man I ever met.
00:20:12It was nothing, really.
00:20:13Oh, yes, but to think, you might have been left behind.
00:20:17Well, that was the thought that tortured me.
00:20:19The thought that I'd lose you just as our friendship had begun.
00:20:21Oh, but it hadn't begun.
00:20:23Have you forgotten the purser's office?
00:20:28You're the man Pinky Boodles did.
00:20:31The lucky man.
00:20:32I shall always remember that it was Pinky Boodles who first brought us together.
00:20:36Oh, poor Pinky.
00:20:40I'm afraid he's feeling the motion of the boat a little.
00:20:43It's his first voyage, you know.
00:20:45Poor little chap.
00:20:46Would you care to take a stroll around the deck?
00:20:48Oh, not just now, thank you.
00:20:50I really ought to take Pinky back to the cabin.
00:20:55After lunch, perhaps?
00:20:56Wait.
00:20:57You know my name, but...
00:20:59Oh, my.
00:21:01Oh, it's Bennet.
00:21:04Bennet?
00:21:05Well, I mean a Bennet.
00:21:07But my friends call me Billy.
00:21:11Bye.
00:21:13After lunch?
00:21:14After lunch.
00:21:17Billy?
00:21:18Billy?
00:21:18Billy?
00:21:20I fear no foe in shining armor, though his sword be sharp and bright.
00:21:31And when I hold her in my...
00:21:32Will you please sit down?
00:21:34Oh, don't stand there swaying like that.
00:21:37You're not going to be sick again, are you?
00:21:39Oh, if only I could keep my mind off it.
00:21:41Try concentrating on something else.
00:21:42For instance, sir.
00:21:43Why not tell me more about that girl you were going to marry?
00:21:49Miss, uh...
00:21:50Miss, uh...
00:21:53I think you said her name was Bennet?
00:21:58Will Hermina Bennet.
00:21:59I can't talk about it.
00:22:00The recollection tortures me.
00:22:02That's exactly what you need.
00:22:04It's the counter-irritation principle.
00:22:07Persevere and you'll soon feel so miserable
00:22:09you'll even forget your seasick.
00:22:12Is there something in that?
00:22:14It's very good of you to be so sympathetic.
00:22:17Anything I can do.
00:22:18Sympathy is my second name.
00:22:20Now, tell me.
00:22:21What impressed you most about her?
00:22:25Her lovely red hair, I suppose.
00:22:28How did you know about her hair?
00:22:30What?
00:22:31Oh, naturally.
00:22:32I assume that any girl you fell in love with
00:22:34wouldn't be exactly bald.
00:22:36Well, you're perfectly right.
00:22:37Her hair was beautiful, do you hear?
00:22:38Beautiful!
00:22:40There's a line in Tennyson that describes it perfectly.
00:22:43She gave me that.
00:22:44What for?
00:22:45To read, you ass.
00:22:46She was very fond of poetry.
00:22:47Poetry?
00:22:48Especially Tennyson.
00:22:49We spent hours reading The Idols of the King.
00:22:51The Witcher what?
00:22:52The Idols of the King.
00:22:54Surely even you must have heard of Tennyson's Idols of the King.
00:22:58Oh, those idols!
00:23:00Oh!
00:23:02My dear old joke.
00:23:05Tennyson's Idols of the King, of course.
00:23:08Oh, I should say.
00:23:10Well, really.
00:23:11Oh!
00:23:12Just imagine.
00:23:14So.
00:23:15She's actually fond of Tennyson, is she?
00:23:17She's mad about Tennyson.
00:23:19It's a reading through her by the hour on the Lynx.
00:23:21Lynx?
00:23:22The Golf Lynx!
00:23:23She's a very keen golfer.
00:23:25Keen on golf.
00:23:26Anything else?
00:23:28There's always that vicious brute of a Pekingese of hers.
00:23:30Always in her arms, eh?
00:23:33Yes.
00:23:33I hate dogs.
00:23:35Do you know she actually expected me to step in and separate the beasts when they were fighting in the street?
00:23:40Said it was the sort of thing Sir Galahad would have done.
00:23:42I pointed out that he wore armor, but me in thin flannel trousers, no!
00:23:49Keen on golf, Tennyson, dogs.
00:23:53Very interesting.
00:23:54I failed to see why it should be of the slightest interest to you.
00:23:58Oh, well, it's the way you tell it.
00:24:03Bravo!
00:24:05Do you think I could borrow this for a bit?
00:24:07Keep it off.
00:24:08Chuck it over for all I care.
00:24:09I never want to see it again.
00:24:10Oh, thanks, old man.
00:24:11I'll just browse through it during lunch.
00:24:12I thought you were going to lunch.
00:24:21I am.
00:24:22Oh, I am.
00:24:22Oh.
00:24:23That's a pretty pinkie.
00:24:47Oh, are you tired, Pinkie?
00:24:51Yes, you will.
00:25:01Oh, there you are, Mr. Marlowe.
00:25:03Oh, there you are.
00:25:04Hello. Just taking a little exercise.
00:25:08Would you?
00:25:09Oh, excuse me.
00:25:12I had no idea you were a golfer.
00:25:15Do you play?
00:25:16Oh, I love it.
00:25:18Really?
00:25:20Bream, do be dear and take this great heavy coat down to the cabin for me.
00:25:25It's so warm.
00:25:27Well, I can carry it.
00:25:29Oh, I wouldn't dream of putting you to all that trouble.
00:25:32Now, trot along and put it on the berth.
00:25:35Oh, all right.
00:25:36I've got a whole bag full here.
00:25:50How is your dear little dog?
00:25:51Oh, fine.
00:25:52But how sweet of you to inquire.
00:25:53After all, he did bite you.
00:25:54Oh, pure animal spirit.
00:25:55I like to see them.
00:25:56I only wish they didn't fight so much.
00:25:57I'm always stopping dog fights.
00:25:59I do so admire a man who knows what to do at a dog fight.
00:26:06I'm rather helpless at it myself.
00:26:08I never seem to find anything to catch hold of.
00:26:09Oh, you dropped a book.
00:26:10Why, so I did.
00:26:11Are you fond of Tennyson?
00:26:13Oh, I worship him.
00:26:14Especially those ideals of the king.
00:26:15But he's my favorite poet.
00:26:16Mine too.
00:26:17Well, when I'm not on the links, you can generally find me reading Tennyson in some secluded corner.
00:26:20Isn't it strange the way you like all the books to do at a dog fight?
00:26:25I'm rather helpless at it myself.
00:26:26I never seem to find anything to catch hold of.
00:26:27Oh, you dropped a book.
00:26:28Why, so I did.
00:26:29Are you fond of Tennyson?
00:26:30Oh, I worship him.
00:26:31Especially those ideals of the king.
00:26:33But he's my favorite poet.
00:26:34Mine too.
00:26:35Well, when I'm not on the links, you can generally find me reading Tennyson in some secluded corner.
00:26:40Isn't it strange the way you like all the things I like?
00:26:44We really ought to be great friends.
00:26:47Perhaps we could read him together?
00:26:50Oh, we will.
00:26:52Something about Tennyson.
00:26:53Yes, there is, isn't there?
00:26:55I felt that so often.
00:26:57Now, you take this little bit here.
00:26:59In the...
00:27:00Oh.
00:27:01Would you care to stroll?
00:27:02Oh.
00:27:03In the spring, a lively Irish changes on the burnished down.
00:27:08In the spring, a young man's fancy lightly turns into forced flowers.
00:27:13And round her waist she felt it fold.
00:27:18And far across the hills they went.
00:27:24All in the valley of death rode the 600.
00:27:27Theirs is not to reason why.
00:27:31I skipped a page.
00:27:32Not of the sunlight.
00:27:33Not of the moonlight.
00:27:34Nor of the starlight.
00:27:35Oh, young mariner.
00:27:36Down to the haven.
00:27:37Call your companions.
00:27:38Launch.
00:27:39Be your vessel.
00:27:40This is just a practice drill, sir.
00:27:41The ship is not sinking.
00:27:42For the hills and far away, beyond their utmost purple rhythm.
00:27:43Oh.
00:27:44Oh.
00:27:45Oh.
00:27:46Oh.
00:27:47Oh.
00:27:48Oh.
00:27:49Oh.
00:27:50Oh.
00:27:51Oh.
00:27:52Oh.
00:27:53Oh.
00:27:54Oh.
00:27:55Oh.
00:27:56Oh.
00:27:57Oh.
00:27:58Oh.
00:27:59Oh.
00:28:00Oh.
00:28:01Oh.
00:28:02Oh.
00:28:03Oh.
00:28:04Oh.
00:28:05Oh.
00:28:06Oh.
00:28:07Oh.
00:28:08Oh.
00:28:09Oh.
00:28:10Oh.
00:28:11Oh.
00:28:12Oh.
00:28:13Oh.
00:28:14Oh.
00:28:15Oh.
00:28:16Oh.
00:28:17Oh.
00:28:18Oh.
00:28:19Oh.
00:28:20Oh.
00:28:21Oh.
00:28:22Oh.
00:28:23Oh.
00:28:24Oh.
00:28:25Oh.
00:28:26Oh.
00:28:27Oh.
00:28:28Oh.
00:28:29Oh.
00:28:30Oh.
00:28:31Oh.
00:28:32Oh.
00:28:33Oh.
00:28:34Oh.
00:28:35Oh.
00:28:36Oh.
00:28:37Oh.
00:28:38Oh.
00:28:39Oh, that was wonderful, Sam.
00:28:41Go on, say some more.
00:28:43Oh, not now.
00:28:51There.
00:29:04Billy.
00:29:04Billy, there's something I've been trying to say to you ever since we met.
00:29:10Something I think you must have read in my eyes.
00:29:14Billy, don't think me silly.
00:29:17Billy, my sweet, I'm at your feet.
00:29:19Oh, I found you at last, my soulmate.
00:29:24You won't be surprised at this, I know.
00:29:27As we sailed across the ocean, you must have had some notion.
00:29:31That is, you must have seen that I've been keen.
00:29:34Damn it, I sound like a valentine.
00:29:37Those poems, you've got me doing it too.
00:29:41What I'm trying to say is...
00:29:44Will you marry me?
00:29:47Oh, Sam.
00:29:49You remind me of one of the heroes of old.
00:29:53Sir Galahad.
00:29:55So strong.
00:29:57So brave.
00:30:00So tall.
00:30:01Jane.
00:30:08Yes?
00:30:10Have you ever been in love?
00:30:12Oh, not since I was 11.
00:30:14He was my music master.
00:30:15He was afraid of mice, I remember.
00:30:18I like men who are strong and brave and wonderful.
00:30:23Oh, I can't stand brave men.
00:30:26I could never marry a man unless he depended on me absolutely for everything.
00:30:31If I met the right man, I could settle down.
00:30:34After all, there are other things in life for a woman to do besides travelling and big game hunting.
00:30:39What would you do?
00:30:40Go into Parliament.
00:30:42Of course, if I did that, I should have to marry.
00:30:44I mean, I should have to have a man to look after the social side of things.
00:30:47You know, sit ornamentally at the head of my table.
00:30:49Jane, I believe you're thinking of someone definite.
00:30:55Who is he?
00:30:56Well, I don't know his name.
00:31:00Then there is really someone.
00:31:02Yes.
00:31:03Oh, how exciting.
00:31:05Tell me about him.
00:31:06Well, at first glance, he seems nearly average.
00:31:10But when you get a closer look, you can see that he's definitely on the puny side.
00:31:15Where do you meet him?
00:31:16On a subway in New York just before I left, he was strap-hanging.
00:31:22I offered him my seat, but he refused it.
00:31:25He was reading Tennyson.
00:31:28Tennyson?
00:31:30It's very hard.
00:31:31That's exactly what I said.
00:31:33Oh, he got along famously.
00:31:36Oh, well.
00:31:37I suppose it's just another one of those ships that pass in the night.
00:31:41Oh, sorry.
00:31:41I'm afraid I've been boring you.
00:31:43Oh, no.
00:31:44Oh, no.
00:31:45I understand.
00:31:47You see, I'm in love myself.
00:31:50I thought you were.
00:31:52What's he like?
00:31:54Oh, he's like a Sir Galahad.
00:31:56Oh.
00:31:57Would you like to meet him?
00:31:59Oh, well, I...
00:31:59I'll go right down to his cabin and bring him here.
00:32:02Yes, but I...
00:32:02Now, don't you go away.
00:32:06Sir Galahad.
00:32:06Come in.
00:32:18Come in.
00:32:19Darling, I...
00:32:20Oh, I'm sorry.
00:32:25Wilhelmina.
00:32:30Eustace.
00:32:30What are you doing here?
00:32:35Well, I...
00:32:35There's no need to speak.
00:32:36I know.
00:32:37But I...
00:32:38No words.
00:32:39It is enough that you have followed me across an ocean.
00:32:41Oh, no.
00:32:42I was still coming here.
00:32:43I swear that you could possibly say to me that you have not already said with your eyes.
00:32:47Where's Sam?
00:32:49Sam?
00:32:50Mr. Marlowe.
00:32:53Sam?
00:32:56You've come here to find Sam?
00:32:57Yes.
00:33:00But I...
00:33:00I'm sorry, Eustace.
00:33:02You see, Sam and I...
00:33:04I engaged.
00:33:06Oh.
00:33:08And I think you might have let me know you were on board.
00:33:11It was very deceitful of you.
00:33:19Oh.
00:33:20Oh.
00:33:20Sam, where were you?
00:33:32I've been looking everywhere for you.
00:33:34I've been looking everywhere for you, too.
00:33:36I've even been to your cabin.
00:33:38Strange-looking woman in there.
00:33:39Aimed an elephant gun at me.
00:33:41I saw something pretty strange in your cabin, too.
00:33:44Oh?
00:33:44Why didn't you tell me Eustace Higmet was on board?
00:33:48Well, do you know Eustace?
00:33:50Yes.
00:33:51Didn't he ever speak to you about me?
00:33:53Never said a word.
00:33:55Oh.
00:33:57How did you meet him?
00:33:59Oh, well, it's not a very pleasant story.
00:34:01I'll explain it to you sometime.
00:34:03As you wish, my dear.
00:34:07Hey!
00:34:10There you are!
00:34:11Oh, it's you.
00:34:12I've been waiting for you at the pool.
00:34:14Pool?
00:34:15Don't you remember we were going swimming?
00:34:17Oh, dear, I forgot.
00:34:19Well?
00:34:21Well, we'll all go swimming.
00:34:23You'd love that, wouldn't you?
00:34:25I can't.
00:34:26What do you mean, you can't?
00:34:28Well, I mean, you know, I don't feel...
00:34:31Well, of course, if you don't want to.
00:34:33Yes, please don't bother.
00:34:33We can go together.
00:34:34Just the two of us.
00:34:35No, no.
00:34:35I mean...
00:34:35Well, what do you mean?
00:34:37Well, I'd love to, but I...
00:34:40Oh, that's settled, then.
00:34:42Now, you run a line change, and we'll all meet at the pool.
00:34:45Come along.
00:34:58Eustace!
00:34:58Eustace!
00:35:02Eustace, I am the most frightful mess.
00:35:05I am delighted to hear it.
00:35:06You've got to help me.
00:35:07Help you?
00:35:08Does the prostrate victim help the viper by whom it has just been stung?
00:35:12You don't understand.
00:35:13In less than five minutes from now, I shall be exposed before the eyes of a woman I worship
00:35:17as a fraud, a charlatan, a poseur, and a lying braggart.
00:35:20That is an amazingly accurate description of your character.
00:35:24I merely want you to come to the swimming pool.
00:35:27Nothing will induce me to stir from this bed, you traitor.
00:35:30But you've got to.
00:35:31I'll delay getting into the pool until you arrive.
00:35:33I will not arrive.
00:35:34With a message to say that there's a telephone call for me, and I'm wanted urgently in the radio room.
00:35:39You can babble something about a sudden illness in the family.
00:35:42If I will babble, nothing of the thought.
00:35:44You won't babble.
00:35:45Any babbling I indulge in will be confined within these four walls.
00:35:49Very well, then.
00:35:51I had anticipated your treachery.
00:35:56Midgley, do come in.
00:36:00Now the news, Mrs.
00:36:01Are you going to help me?
00:36:03No.
00:36:04Then you soon will.
00:36:07What are you going to do?
00:36:09Just have a bite of lunch.
00:36:11But you've had lunch.
00:36:11Then I shall have another, and I intend to eat it here.
00:36:17Now then, Midgley, I think we'll start with a dozen slimy oysters.
00:36:21Oh.
00:36:23Then what have we got?
00:36:24Ah, yes.
00:36:25A nice, fat, juicy pork chop.
00:36:28Oh.
00:36:30Cold flour.
00:36:32And lovely white sauce.
00:36:34Oh, stop, stop.
00:36:35And dessert.
00:36:39Trifle.
00:36:40With junket.
00:36:42And whipped cream.
00:36:43Oh.
00:36:44And then, Midgley, I'll have some ripe gorgonzola.
00:36:47Oh, stop, stop.
00:36:50I'll do anything.
00:36:51Anything.
00:36:51Anything.
00:37:02Billy.
00:37:02Billy.
00:37:04Billy.
00:37:09Come on, back to me.
00:37:13Sorry, I'm late.
00:37:24Is something wrong?
00:37:29Bream, do be a dare and see if I left my camera in the cabin, will you?
00:37:34Perhaps you could see if Pinky Booz is comfortable with it, don't you think?
00:37:37Oh, yes. Bream, while you're down there, see how poor Pinky is?
00:37:42Yeah, but...
00:37:43There's a deer.
00:37:52Well, are you ready?
00:37:57Well, what is it?
00:37:59Nothing, nothing.
00:38:01Well, you seem to be looking for someone.
00:38:03No, no, no, no. Whatever gave you that idea?
00:38:08Well, are you going in?
00:38:11Well, I think I'd better wait for a couple of minutes.
00:38:14I always allow an hour after lunch if I intend to do any of the strenuous swimming.
00:38:19I say, steady on.
00:38:20The man on the subway.
00:38:21The girl with the elephant gun.
00:38:22You remember me.
00:38:23I say, what ails you, man?
00:38:24I say, what ails you, man?
00:38:25Your face is the colour of a crocodile's barely.
00:38:26I know just the thing for you.
00:38:27I know just the thing for you.
00:38:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:38:29No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:38:59No, I don't think I can make it.
00:39:01Of course you can.
00:39:17Has there been an accident, Mom?
00:39:19No, no, it's just a minute.
00:39:21Sit there, dear.
00:39:23Can I get him something to drink?
00:39:25No, thank you. I'll get it myself, if you don't mind.
00:39:29Come on.
00:39:53Drink this, Dad.
00:39:55What is it?
00:39:56Do as I say.
00:39:58Take it down.
00:40:00There's a good boy.
00:40:02Oh.
00:40:04Oh.
00:40:06Oh, oh.
00:40:08Oh, oh, oh.
00:40:12Oh, oh.
00:40:14Oh, oh, oh.
00:40:16Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:40:18By Jove, that's the most amazing stuff.
00:40:22That's the most amazing stuff.
00:40:24What's in it?
00:40:25Well, it's something I use in Africa for bull calves with the staggers.
00:40:31Well, it's made a new man of me.
00:40:33You should see what it does to the bull calves.
00:40:36Really?
00:40:38How fortunate that I encountered you.
00:40:41Do you know, when you got off that subway at 66th Street,
00:40:47I thought I'd never see you again.
00:40:49Do you know, that very same thing occurred to me?
00:40:55What a fascinating woman you are.
00:40:58So strong.
00:41:00So brave.
00:41:02So masculine.
00:41:06That's the nicest thing any man ever said to me.
00:41:12Have another drink.
00:41:15And made a pretty cup of both my hands
00:41:18and offered you it kneeling upon the staggers.
00:41:20The hour must be up by now.
00:41:24Well, of course, if you're not enjoying it.
00:41:25Oh, no, I didn't mean that.
00:41:28And you know more.
00:41:29It's just that I want to see you swim.
00:41:32Now, come on.
00:41:35Oh, it's cold.
00:41:39Is it?
00:41:40Now, come on.
00:41:41In we go.
00:41:42Come on.
00:41:44There.
00:41:44Go on.
00:41:45Off to you.
00:41:53Oh, I can't swim.
00:41:55Well, I...
00:41:56Go on.
00:41:57In you go.
00:42:02Snuck there, silly.
00:42:04Off the bars.
00:42:06Oh, you're such a wonderful diver.
00:42:08Now, you're putting water in my mouth.
00:42:22Hurry up.
00:42:24Oh, no.
00:42:38Sam.
00:42:41You're just testing the spring, darling.
00:42:54Go on.
00:43:21Sam?
00:43:23Sam?
00:43:24Sam?
00:43:26Dad?
00:43:56Oh, there you are.
00:43:58You frighten me.
00:44:00Oh, I...
00:44:02I love swimming underwater.
00:44:04Oh, that was wonderful.
00:44:06I didn't realize anybody could hold their breath that long.
00:44:14I'll take a snapshot for my memory book.
00:44:22Oh, not that silly.
00:44:24Oh, silly. Down the deep end.
00:44:36Lend me your water wings, please.
00:44:38They'll probably give them back to me, won't they?
00:44:40Oh, I just want to see what they're like, that's all.
00:44:44I'll be with you in a minute.
00:44:48No, no, this way.
00:44:50This way.
00:44:54Come down here then.
00:44:56Yes, that's it. A bit nearer.
00:44:58Yes.
00:45:00A little nearer.
00:45:06Smile.
00:45:08That's it.
00:45:10A little closer.
00:45:12Now you watch the bird.
00:45:14Help!
00:45:16Help!
00:45:18Help!
00:45:20Help!
00:45:22Help!
00:45:24Help!
00:45:26Help!
00:45:28Help!
00:45:30Help me!
00:45:32Help!
00:45:34Save her, please. Save her.
00:45:36I can't swim.
00:45:38Ah!
00:45:52Excuse me. Excuse me.
00:45:54Oh, Sam.
00:45:56Oh, Sam.
00:45:58Oh, Sam.
00:45:59Are you all right, darling?
00:46:00Oh, Sam.
00:46:01I'm all right, darling.
00:46:02If you...
00:46:03Oh, my Sir Galahad.
00:46:04You saved my life.
00:46:06Oh, try not to think about it.
00:46:08I want my water wings.
00:46:22Water wings?
00:46:24I don't know what he's talking about.
00:46:26You've got my water wings.
00:46:27I have not.
00:46:35And I thought that you...
00:46:37Billy.
00:46:38What could you possibly have to say for yourself?
00:46:41You're a fraud.
00:46:43But I...
00:46:44I saved your life.
00:46:45With water wings.
00:46:46I'd rather drown than be saved by my wearing water wings.
00:46:50I don't want to see you or speak to you again.
00:46:52As long as I live.
00:46:54I fear no foe in shining armor.
00:47:07Though his sword be sharp and bright.
00:47:09And when I...
00:47:10So there you are.
00:47:11Where did you get to, you miserable worm?
00:47:14The message!
00:47:15I'm awfully sorry, my dear chap.
00:47:16I forgot.
00:47:17Does it matter?
00:47:18Does it matter?
00:47:19Does it matter?
00:47:20Let me tell you that as a result of your treacherous behavior,
00:47:23my engagement has been broken off.
00:47:25How splendid!
00:47:26Except my congratulations.
00:47:28As one who has been engaged to the same girl,
00:47:30I speak feelingly.
00:47:31You're well out of it, old bean.
00:47:33My heart is broken and that is all you've got to say.
00:47:36Pardon me.
00:47:38I speak as an expert.
00:47:40Now, talking of girls, I've just met the most...
00:47:43Don't tell me!
00:47:44Call me.
00:47:45Call me when we get to Southampton.
00:47:47I fear no foe in shining armor.
00:47:48Who shall be that?
00:47:49Mind your backs, please!
00:47:50Mind your backs, please!
00:47:51Mind your backs, please!
00:47:52Mind your backs, please!
00:47:53Mind your backs, please!
00:47:54What was the number of your compartment, sir?
00:48:08Carriage 6, compartment B, seat 4.
00:48:09Name is Marlowe.
00:48:10Samuel Marlowe.
00:48:11Oh, excuse me.
00:48:12Did I hear you say your name was Samuel Marlowe?
00:48:13That's right, yes.
00:48:14I'm JP Mortimer.
00:48:15Samuel Marlowe.
00:48:16I'm JP Mortimer.
00:48:17Samuel Marlowe?
00:48:18Why, you must be Samalabis, son.
00:48:19Your father's a great friend of mine.
00:48:20As a matter of fact, he's handling some legal matters for us now.
00:48:21Now, don't go away.
00:48:22Bennett, come over here.
00:48:23I want to help you.
00:48:24I want to help you.
00:48:25I want to help you.
00:48:26I want to help you.
00:48:27I want to help you.
00:48:28I want to help you.
00:48:29You want to help you my brother.
00:48:30That's fine, sir.
00:48:31What's your name, sir?
00:48:32I want to help you.
00:48:33What's your name?
00:48:34What's your name?
00:48:35What's your name, sir?
00:48:36Carriage 6, compartment B, seat 4.
00:48:38Carriage 6, compartment B, seat 4.
00:48:39Name is Marlowe.
00:48:40He's handing some legal matters for us now.
00:48:42Now, don't go away.
00:48:43Bennett, come over here.
00:48:44I want you to meet someone.
00:48:46Some alibi, son.
00:48:49Samuel?
00:48:50Mr. Bennett.
00:48:51Who are you?
00:48:52Very well, thank you.
00:48:54I must be off.
00:48:55Hey, you must know my son, Bream.
00:48:57Yes, I met him last week at my Aunt Adeline's.
00:49:00Very stubborn woman, that aunt of yours.
00:49:02Do you know that she absolutely refuses to rent her country house to us?
00:49:05Well, if you can't persuade her, Mortimer, no one can.
00:49:08We just have to cut short our stay, that's all.
00:49:09Yes.
00:49:11You mean you're all leaving England, then?
00:49:13I'm afraid so.
00:49:14Yes, unless she changed her mind.
00:49:15Not much chance of that.
00:49:17I cabled her a final offer yesterday, and I haven't heard a word since.
00:49:22Perhaps you will.
00:49:24I doubt it very much.
00:49:27I really must be off.
00:49:28Will you excuse me?
00:49:29Goodbye.
00:49:29Goodbye.
00:49:30Well to meet you.
00:49:39Southampton 6547.
00:49:44Southampton 6547.
00:49:44Southampton 6547.
00:49:47Southampton 7547.
00:49:53Operator, Southampton 56.
00:49:56Southampton 6547, yes thank you, I say Porter, yes sir, this tall gentleman over there with
00:50:19the brown hamburg, yes sir, would you tell him there's a long-distance telephone call
00:50:23from New York crime in this box. Stanley, sir, number two. Right, thank you.
00:50:46Hello? International radio telephone here. I can't hear you very well, we seem to have a bad connection.
00:50:52Just a minute, sir, I'll see if I can get it a bit clearer. Is that better now, sir?
00:51:01Fine. This is international radio telephone here. Now, what I want to know is, can a Mr.
00:51:08J.P. Mortimer take a personal call from New York? Yes, yes, who's calling? Well, I don't know yet.
00:51:14Hold on, I'll see if I can find out what it's all about. Hello, America? Why, hello, Southampton.
00:51:20The gentleman wants to know who it is who's calling him. Well, now, a Mrs. Higgett wants a personal call
00:51:26in a hurry to a Mr. J.P. Mortimer in Southampton, England. Go right ahead, Mrs. Higgett. Hello?
00:51:33Hello? Who's that? I'm J.P. Mortimer. Oh, hello. This is Adeline Higgett here. I'm calling to inform you
00:51:41that I've changed my mind and have decided to let Windle's. Why, that's wonderful. I can't tell you how
00:51:48I'm glad I am. But how did you know I was here? How did I know you were there? Well, uh...
00:51:52Oh, dear me. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. What did you say? Can't you speak a little
00:51:58louder? Is that clear? Yes. There is one condition, however. Anything you say? My son,
00:52:07Newstess, will be staying on at Windle's to look out to the place. That's perfectly all
00:52:11right. From time to time, he may have a houseguest. His cousin Samuel. Pardon? Fine, fine. A nice
00:52:19young man, that. No trouble at all. I still can't figure out how you knew I was here.
00:52:23Oh, what the... I can't hear you. There's nothing more to discuss. This call is costing me a great
00:52:31deal of money already, and I must therefore bid you good day. Good day. Goodbye.
00:52:55Blast you, sir. Are you going to spend the entire day in there?
00:52:58They must ask you to keep a civil tongue in your head. Damn it. I don't know what's
00:53:05happening to the young men of today. Eustace, I simply must have a word with you.
00:53:12Not now. Haven't you found your luggage yet? But I've lost my train ticket. Never mind.
00:53:17Ah, Marl. When you see your father, will you give him a message for me? Tell him I shall
00:53:20be in touch with him to draw up the lease for Windle's. What lease? Mr. Mortimer, my cousin
00:53:27Eustace. Eustace Hignett. Mr. Bennet. Hi. Then you must be Mrs. Hignett's son. Well,
00:53:32pleased to meet you. What's all this about, Elise? Your mother has decided to let Windle's
00:53:36to us for the summer. That's ridiculous. She couldn't have. Don't tell me she couldn't
00:53:41have. I've just spoken to her on the phone a few minutes ago. Mother's in England?
00:53:44No, in America. Long distance. She phoned up all the way from New York at her own expense
00:53:49to tell you she was going to let Windle's. It doesn't sound like my mother. Well, it sounded like
00:53:53somebody's mother, and I've no reason to suspect it wasn't yours. I can't imagine it. Did she
00:53:58speak with a rather high-pitched nasal twang? You know, sort of, uh, how do you do? I am
00:54:03Mrs. Hignett. Good God, it's fed in all over the country. Shocking. Well, I can't imagine
00:54:12Mother doing a thing like that. Now then, Eustace, we mustn't doubt Mr. Mortimer's
00:54:16word. Must we? No, no, no. Of course. Of course, you and Mr. Marlowe will be staying with
00:54:21us at Windle's. Your mother insisted. She did? And then, you will be able to see
00:54:26Jane. She's, um, staying with Billy. That's right. I forgot about that. I'll
00:54:31split you. Oh, Billy. Oh, Bream. Oh, Bream, how marvellous to see you. Do you have a good
00:54:41trip? Oh, Billy, this is Mr. Marlowe. We have met. Excuse me, you chants. Eustace...
00:54:46Eustace and Mr. Marlowe will be staying with us at Windle's. My Aunt Adeline insisted.
00:54:52You, uh, you won't mind, will you? Not at all. Oh, I didn't tell you. I have the most
00:54:59wonderful surprise. Bream and I are engaged. Why, that's marvellous. Let's hope it's the
00:55:06real thing this time, my dear. We'll have a celebration. That's a wonderful idea. Now,
00:55:09we'll have a party on the train. Now, you're talking. Now, don't be long. Oh, Mr. Marlowe,
00:55:17would you be a pet and see that Pinky Boodles gets to the baggage car? I will do no such
00:55:22thing. I have too much pride to allow myself to be used as an errand boy.
00:55:30Sorry, old man. Damn it, sir. Why the devil don't you get your hair cut?
00:55:36Morning. Morning. Morning. It's no use, Jane. I'll never get the hang of it. Oh, it's child's play.
00:55:54You just follow the prey until you get it squarely in your sights, then shoot. Put that thing away.
00:56:00Where are you practising? Well, don't practise on me. Oh, foolish man. I don't know how you do it,
00:56:05Jane. I'd faint dead away if I came face to face with a tiger. Don't worry. This morning,
00:56:09we're only after rabbits. Yes, but supposing it's one of those huge ones? Oh, come along.
00:56:17Anything for me, Webster? Nothing, miss. Oh, well, would you take Pinky Boodles for a walk for me,
00:56:23please? Very good, miss. Thank you. Well, where are you off to? Oh,
00:56:27Green's driving me up to London. It's the third time this week. What's the sense of having a place
00:56:32in the country if you're always dashing up to town? This is important, Father. He has to pick up my
00:56:38engagement ring at the jewelers. Well, I guess you really are serious this time. Well, of course I am.
00:56:44Love is not a matter to be taken lightly, Father. Oh, as you are in town, drop by Sir Malby's office and give
00:56:50him a message. Say I got his letter. Ask him to send his men out to the papers tomorrow,
00:56:54and I'll sign them here. I don't want to go to town. All right, Father.
00:56:58He doesn't stop playing that warm machine.
00:57:03Turn that didn't warm machine off. I will not turn it off. Then I'll start.
00:57:10And get this dog off the furniture. The minute my back's turned, you start playing this darn
00:57:16player piano. It's an orchestrion, and it's here to be played. Not 24 hours a day. Will you two stop
00:57:23acting like a couple of kids? Oh, I must be off. Bye, Mr. Mortimer. Bye, Father.
00:57:31Goodbye, honey. Now take care of yourself. And remember your blood pressure.
00:57:35Goodbye, honey.
00:57:45I'm going to Cerrone.
00:57:50Okay.
00:57:51Bye.
00:57:58Bye.
00:58:01Bye.
00:58:02Bye.
00:58:02Bye.
00:58:02mr peters why mr samuel hello miss millican hello peters hello how nice to see you again mr samuel
00:58:15so manaby was most concerned about you mr samuel well it's a week since you landed and not a word
00:58:19from you yes i'm sorry about that i've been down at being the on sea wrestling with myself
00:58:25i do so like a boy who's fond of manly sports
00:58:28well at any rate mr samuel you're back safe and sound thank goodness of course ocean liners don't
00:58:34sink these days well i was thinking more of the gangsters on shore mr samuel america's such a
00:58:39dangerous place peters what on earth are you doing with this thing oh well as a matter of fact mr
00:58:44samuel i should be going to america myself in a few days time on business for the governor
00:58:48so i just thought i'd better be prepared oh really peters you may smile master samuel
00:58:54but what about the underworld i've seen those american films i'm taking no chances
00:58:58is my father in well he's in court mr samuel but he said he might look in before the end of the day
00:59:06thank you peters oh time i brushed out my law studies i suppose rubbish mr samuel would it be
00:59:12all right if i left you here for a little while i must call in at the travel agency for my ticket
00:59:16before they close certainly peters run alone thank you mr samuel hold the fort hold the fort fort
00:59:21i won't be long mr hamuel mr marlowe
00:59:42mr marlowe
00:59:43how do you do miss bennett you are miss bennett i believe how clever of you to remember me
00:59:55i have an excellent memory is there anything i can do for you well i really wanted to see sir mallaby my
01:00:03father is in court when he is away i act as his substitute will he be long bream's coming to call
01:00:09to me in a few minutes oh you're still here miss milliken oh oh i beg your pardon well what is it
01:00:18peters nothing mr samuel nothing nothing thank you what a strange man who is he he seemed to know you
01:00:27and why did he call me miss milliken well it's rather a sad story his name is peters he used to be a
01:00:34clerk here oh isn't he with you any longer no we had to get rid of him oh i'm not surprised looking
01:00:42like that well it wasn't that so much the thing that annoyed father was that he tried to shoot miss
01:00:46milliken he tried to shoot her but why she used to be my father's stenographer peters fell madly in love
01:00:54with her she was a very beautiful girl unfortunately she spurned peters and he went right off his onion
01:01:01well he should be locked up yes i imagine he should he's getting worse now do you know he has
01:01:08got an obsession that every red-haired woman is the girl who deceived him who so that's why he called
01:01:15me miss milliken yes rather fortunate that i happened to be here when he came in he may still be lurking
01:01:22out there would you like me to go and see oh but is it safe oh well i don't mind taking a risk or two for
01:01:29your sake hello peters you got back quickly did you want anything i forgot the receipt for my ticket
01:01:42why are you wearing that absurd hat well i bought it specially for my trip to america mr samuel
01:01:47i understand everybody wears them really peters you ought not to see so many of these films yes mr
01:01:52samuel i see you're engaged with a client i was wondering has any small point of law risen oh the
01:01:58lady that was miss milliken's sister oh indeed i didn't know miss milliken had a sister of course
01:02:04i must say she isn't very like her in appearance this one is the family beauty i believe a bright
01:02:11intelligent girl i was telling her about your revolver oh just before you came in oh she was most
01:02:17interested in seeing it oh well i should be very pleased indeed to show it to her then why don't
01:02:23you go in there now shall i of course i'll be back in a minute or two certainly mr samuel certainly
01:02:28how did you miss milliken i brought the revolver mr samuel told you about the revolver didn't he
01:02:46yes he did i suppose you're a very good shot i never miss it's very ugly no it isn't no it isn't
01:02:59what i mean was that it looked very deadly well it may have very deadly work to do miss milliken
01:03:06now the important thing to remember the important thing to learn miss milliken is to be able to draw
01:03:11it quickly like this and the first shot miss milliken is vital now you sight your target carefully
01:03:19you take a very steady aim and then gently and firmly you squeeze the trick no i love you
01:03:26i've always loved you goodness gracious me so that's all right isn't it yes quite all right thank
01:03:32you very much i thought you'd be glad yes i i consider it quite a compliment really
01:03:38but i hadn't finished showing you how to squeeze the trigger miss milliken would you like me to kiss
01:03:44you well not at the moment thank you very much that's all right i don't mind the trigger like this
01:03:48miss milliken keep the forefinger put that gun away what i said put it away oh yes yes it's time
01:04:00that you went yes indeed mr samuel i'll show you out yes come along mr mr samuel
01:04:04good luck features have a pleasant trip that girl mr samuel i really think she cannot be quite right
01:04:11in the hedge she ought to be locked up perhaps if she has upset you you ought to leave a little
01:04:15earlier tonight is he really gone yes was he violent a little i calmed him down
01:04:39thank god thank god i was in time oh you really are the bravest man in the whole world there there
01:04:51come come come come it's all right now there there there there there there there i was so wrong about
01:05:00you you're the bravest man oh pardon me i well i leave you for five minutes to get your engagement
01:05:14i'm sorry bream but our engagement is off off why because i'm engaged to sam
01:05:24him he's so brave he's my galahad but i paid five hundred bucks for this ring i'll let you have a
01:05:31check in the morning
01:05:40well that's a beautiful diamond bream gave you uh-huh oh bream didn't give it to me oh didn't he who did
01:05:46that my fiance of course but you're engaged to bream no i forgot to tell you father it's all off
01:05:55i'm engaged to somebody else good grief there's the third man you've gotten engaged with this month
01:05:59you can't go around getting engaged to every tom dignary i'm engaged to sam sam marlowe i invited him
01:06:06for lunch now look here billy i've told you before and i tell you again this sort of thing there's a
01:06:12person to see you sir from sir manaby's office oh yes those papers
01:06:35good morning very nice of you to bring these papers i'll just glance through them won't be a moment
01:06:42mr bennett may i speak what do you mean mr bennett i think it's my duty to inform you that
01:06:51your stenographer isn't quite right in the head well i don't say she's dangerous but she isn't compost
01:06:58she decidedly is not compost mr bennett what are you talking about what stenographer well i mean the
01:07:03young lady out in the garden the one with the notebook on her knee how do you know her well i met her at
01:07:09the office and i think it's my duty to tell you exactly what happened we'd hardly exchanged more
01:07:14than a dozen words mr bennett before she told me she told me that i was the only man she loved
01:07:20jump and jehoshaphat now those were her exact words four by the great horn spoon number four
01:07:28williamina what is it come in here at once i'll soon get to the bottom of this mr peters i don't wish
01:07:39to inconvenience the young lady at all sir don't you worry about that any trouble she gets into will
01:07:43be her own doing what is it oh don't shoot please don't shoot what are you talking about now listen
01:07:50wilhelmina this man said you told him you loved him yes i did and i do really really mr peters i do
01:08:00love you suffer and catch you only met the man you don't understand i'll explain later father i father
01:08:08did you say father well of course i said father this is my daughter mr peters my daughter
01:08:15i i mean your daughter are you sure of course i'm sure do you think i don't know my own daughter
01:08:22yes but if she's your daughter then she can't be miss milliken oh the devil's miss milliken your daughter
01:08:27oh i i mean i was told that she was miss milliken who told you i was miss milliken mr samuel marlowe
01:08:36yes that's right but how did you know why hello there lovely day what peters
01:08:45what are you doing here i thought i told you to leave this young lady alone
01:08:52come on then peters no nonsense now don't you worry my dear i can handle this just a minute
01:08:59i'd like to ask mr peters a few questions now now darling we we mustn't take any chances must we
01:09:05in his present condition he's liable to go bonkers at any moment come on peters off you go wait
01:09:10mr peters you say mr marlowe told you that i was miss milliken me i said no such thing peters you're
01:09:19leaving at once you did mr marlowe what you sent me in to show her my revolver which revolver what's
01:09:26all this about a revolver have you a revolver well of course i've got a revolver you knew that mr
01:09:31samuel oh you did did you so that's why you told me he was a homicidal maniac oh dear who went
01:09:39around trying to shoot red-haired women because he thought they were miss milliken who had jilted him
01:09:45goodness gracious me you see mr peters that's why i had to pretend that i hadn't jilted you
01:09:51then you don't love me after all of course not oh thank you ever so much well now that that's
01:09:58settled let's go out in the garden peters where we can get these papers signed in peace yes thank you
01:10:03very much thank you oh excuse me i didn't know anybody was in here oh that's all right bream
01:10:12i don't have any secrets from you after all we're engaged we are but billy darling you got engaged to
01:10:22me yesterday that was yesterday i never want to see you again never now be reasonable billy reasonable
01:10:36let me explain never again you rang this oh webster would you kindly show this gentleman out
01:10:45very good miss immediately billy i must have a chance to explain this way sir i refuse to go
01:10:49if necessary webster use force very good silly oh wait your ring
01:11:02bream billy this way sir i refuse to go until i've had an opportunity
01:11:07to think i once thought that miserable weakling was a galahad what would tennyson say if he could see him
01:11:33now oh bream how can i ever make it up to you marry me right away yes oh that father wouldn't approve oh
01:11:45we could elope what a wonderful idea of course it it would teach sam a lesson and you'll do it yes
01:11:56tonight tonight there you are sir can i be a further service haven't you done enough
01:12:08if i have been unduly firm sir it has only been in the execution of my employer's commands
01:12:12to have done otherwise would have been unspeakably disloyal and you're ready to be disloyal now are you
01:12:18oh as i am so as to speak no longer within the precincts of my employer's residence but on the public highway
01:12:22the question of loyalty is irrelevant within certain bounds of course did you say pounds i didn't sir
01:12:29but if you would prefer it i can easily say so i would say five if it's a question of choice sir i
01:12:34i should prefer to say ten
01:12:49uh
01:13:01webster i thought i heard someone sir oh i see
01:13:06well it must have been me i couldn't sleep so i came down to fetch this book
01:13:10oh sir elephant hunting in the punjab it's uh it's by miss hubbard you know i see sir it's simply
01:13:19fascinating i'm sure it is sir well good night webster turn up the lights won't you good night sir
01:13:37good man everything right webster just as i suspected i thought you were up to something
01:13:53sam what are you doing here you realize it almost dawned that is the best time is it not webster yes
01:13:57sir the best time for what kidnapping i could never let brie marry billy you're mad you can't kidnap
01:14:03billy not billy you ass pinky boodles you're planning to kidnap a dog in heaven's name why
01:14:11because that is what cyril did correct sir who is cyril and why should he want to kidnap his dog
01:14:15actually he kidnapped her little brother sir and i am doing the same but billy hasn't got a little
01:14:20brother exactly that is why i picked the dog she looks upon him as a brother he used to she must not
01:14:24give me away i most certainly will eustace i am warning you i'm determined and if necessary i
01:14:30shall use brute force you wouldn't dare strike me oh no not you the dog are you or are you not going
01:14:36to help me i will have nothing to do with this all right then i shall inform your mother that windows
01:14:43has been let she knows it has she did it herself she did not i did i don't believe it you will when i
01:14:52cable her oh don't do that sam please she'll evict everybody i couldn't bear to lose jane now and
01:14:59i couldn't better and i couldn't bear to lose billy very well what do you want me to do just go
01:15:06back to bed and forget you ever saw me here with that all yes webster and i have been more than a
01:15:11match for the dog i have an ominous feeling of impending disaster nonsense run along to bed
01:15:17now the webster somebody's up come you'd better wait in here till i give the signal to come out yes
01:15:32i'll do this you signal back to show that you've heard me don't be too long it's awfully dark in here
01:15:47is that you webster
01:16:17all right all right webster i can hear your signal
01:16:37oh
01:16:45oh
01:16:57oh
01:16:59oh
01:17:03oh
01:17:05oh
01:17:07oh
01:17:09oh
01:17:23oh
01:17:25oh
01:17:27oh
01:17:35oh
01:17:49oh
01:17:53oh
01:17:55oh
01:17:57oh
01:17:59oh
01:18:01oh
01:18:11oh
01:18:13oh
01:18:15oh
01:18:17oh
01:18:19oh
01:18:21oh
01:18:23oh
01:18:25Shhh, stay behind me, I may have to shoot to kill.
01:18:55Shhh, stay behind me, I may have to shoot.
01:19:14Stand up here.
01:19:29Oh, there, Sia.
01:19:33Well, they didn't get out that way.
01:19:34Then they must still be in the house.
01:19:35But where?
01:19:36Don't worry, I'll find them.
01:19:37Don't worry.
01:19:38What was that?
01:19:44You have to blow the place to pieces.
01:19:48You ought to kill someone.
01:19:51Now, dear, you better give that to me.
01:19:53I should go away with that guy.
01:19:55Kill yourself.
01:19:56I won't pay for it.
01:19:57It seems to be in order.
01:19:58Neither will I.
01:19:58Oh, yes, you will, you sadly.
01:19:59Only on your behalf.
01:20:00It's your signature.
01:20:01I am not arguing.
01:20:02Yes, you are.
01:20:03I am not arguing.
01:20:04You are.
01:20:05Shut up.
01:20:06I am a dick.
01:20:07This is nonsense.
01:20:08It can't be that heavy.
01:20:09Here, let me do it.
01:20:10Oh, really, sir, I can manage.
01:20:11Oh, you can't manage anything.
01:20:12It can't be that heavy.
01:20:18Just like Bennett, always bragging.
01:20:23Who's always bragging?
01:20:25You are.
01:20:26Don't you talk to me about bragging.
01:20:27No, let me...
01:20:28You have to stop enjoying this once.
01:20:29Silence!
01:20:30Hold his dear.
01:20:32Good boy.
01:20:35Now, will you stop all this bickering?
01:20:39Stop messing around.
01:20:41And let's find these burglars.
01:20:44Now, listen.
01:20:45Come here.
01:20:46I want you all to take the passage.
01:20:48Thank you so much.
01:20:50Then you'll just have to alone.
01:20:52Now, go on.
01:20:57I don't see why we had to use a ladder.
01:20:59All we had to do was to go out the back door to the garage.
01:21:02Oh, but this is more romantic this way.
01:21:05Now, go on.
01:21:06Now, do as I say and we'll trap them.
01:21:10Now, come along.
01:21:14We've wasted enough time.
01:21:16What?
01:21:18I didn't say anything.
01:21:19Somebody spoke.
01:21:20I see.
01:21:21Come out of that suit of armor and let's have a look at you.
01:21:23I can't get this down helmet off.
01:21:24If you don't hurry, I should blow it off.
01:21:25No, no, no, don't shoot.
01:21:26Well, put your hands up.
01:21:27My hands are up.
01:21:29You're way up.
01:21:29I'm trying to unlock this helmet.
01:21:31Don't bother about that.
01:21:32Let's just lift up the binder and have a look at you.
01:21:34Why?
01:21:35Wait.
01:21:35Why?
01:21:36Is that the Yep?
01:21:37No.
01:21:38I see.
01:21:38You're coming.
01:21:39I see.
01:21:40Come out of that suit of armor and let's have a look at you.
01:21:42You can't get this down helmet off.
01:21:44If you don't hurry, I said blow it off.
01:21:44No, no, no.
01:21:45Don't shoot.
01:21:45Well, put your hands up.
01:21:46My hands are up.
01:21:47Well, they're up.
01:21:48I'm trying to unlock this helmet.
01:21:49Don't bother about that.
01:21:50Let's just lift up the binder and have a look at you.
01:21:53Hey.
01:21:55Hey, it's that Marlowe chap.
01:21:58How strongly...
01:22:00Marlowe!
01:22:02It's that little Marlowe chap.
01:22:04What are you doing in that suit of armor?
01:22:07I came here to pay a social call.
01:22:10You were told to keep away from my daughter.
01:22:14Billy!
01:22:15Where is she?
01:22:16Billy!
01:22:17Billy!
01:22:19Perhaps this note will clarify the matter, sir.
01:22:22Last night, Miss Bennet asked me to give you this.
01:22:24All right, give it to me.
01:22:26She said specifically to give it to you at breakfast, sir.
01:22:28Well, I can't wait to have breakfast now.
01:22:32Jump on Jehoshaphat.
01:22:34She's eloped!
01:22:38Eloped?
01:22:38With that idiotic son of yours.
01:22:40I forbid my son to elope with your daughter.
01:22:43Then we've got to stop them.
01:22:44Oh, now you're talking.
01:22:46Maybe I misjudged you, son.
01:22:48He won't get away with it.
01:22:49You bet he won't.
01:22:50I'll stop them.
01:22:51Attaboy, you go get them.
01:22:52Webster, bring the car around at once.
01:22:54I believe Miss Wilhelmina has taken it, sir.
01:23:01Then bring the other car around.
01:23:02There is no other car, sir.
01:23:05Well, phone for one.
01:23:06There is no phone, sir.
01:23:07There must be some way we can go after them.
01:23:09I fear not, sir.
01:23:12Who can that be at this hour of the night?
01:23:13Good morning, ma'am.
01:23:22And what, may I ask, are you all doing in my house?
01:23:27Mother useless!
01:23:29How dare you disobey me and let windles!
01:23:33I didn't, sir.
01:23:34You see, ma'am, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he did!
01:23:39Welcome home, Aunt Adeline.
01:23:55Samuel, I might have known that you would be involved in this intrusion on my privacy.
01:23:59I, I, I thought you were in America.
01:24:02As soon as your father wrote to me, I came back.
01:24:04Oh, Aunt Adeline, I'd like to explain.
01:24:06What's another word?
01:24:07Get out of this honor.
01:24:09Webster.
01:24:10Yes, madam?
01:24:11Kindly attend to my horse.
01:24:13Your horse, madam?
01:24:15Yes, my car broke down.
01:24:17An obliging farmer provided me with the alternative means of conveyance by which I arrived here.
01:24:24A horse?
01:24:29You came on a horse?
01:24:35Remember, I'm counting on you, son.
01:24:37Don't worry, I'll stop them first, my boy.
01:24:40Stop him, where's he going?
01:24:41Now, don't interfere.
01:24:43You must stop him.
01:24:45That's almost 700 years old.
01:24:47No, stop yapping.
01:24:49You, sis, did you hear what this man said to me?
01:24:52Stop yapping.
01:24:53What did you say?
01:24:54You heard him stop yapping.
01:24:56Who is this creature?
01:24:58Leave the house of one, too brazen, has he?
01:25:01Mother, I forbid you to talk like that to my future wife.
01:25:04Your what?
01:25:05Eustace, you proposed.
01:25:07He's done nothing of a guy.
01:25:09Oh, yes, I have, and I intend to marry her at the very first opportunity.
01:25:11She only has to name the day.
01:25:13All right, now.
01:25:14Now?
01:25:14Yes, we'll get dressed, pack our bags, and we'll...
01:25:17I'm absolutely not finished, you hear me?
01:25:20I am truly...
01:25:21I'll do it with you later.
01:25:28Just like a nose-gain on the leg.
01:25:30Hey, exactly, sir.
01:25:31You'll need silly liking you.
01:25:32Have a good day, sir.
01:25:32Bye-bye, auntie.
01:25:36You hear me?
01:25:38I absolutely forbid it, Samuel.
01:25:41I absolutely forbid it.
01:25:47Oh, do hurry up, Bream.
01:25:48We haven't got all night.
01:25:51Try cranking it again.
01:25:57All right.
01:25:58Uh-oh.
01:26:14What's that in here?
01:26:16At last, my knight in shining armor, Sir Galahad.
01:26:33Sam, it's you.
01:26:46Oh, whither art thou taking me, O gallant knight?
01:26:51Just a moment.
01:27:21Eustace, that's Sam in Billy's room.
01:27:23I know.
01:27:24I thought I'd ask them if they'd care for a game of bridge before bedtime.
01:27:27Not tonight, Eustace.
01:27:29Come along.
01:27:31Jane?
01:27:32Yes?
01:27:32Oh, oh, yeah!
01:27:35Oh, oh, dear!
01:27:38Oh, dear!
01:27:38Oh, dear, Al!
01:27:55Oh, dear, Al!
01:28:05I've been a blacksmith now for 40 years, and I've never had no call for this type of work.
01:28:13They certainly made things solid in the old days.
01:28:16Good night, Mum.
01:28:17Good night.
01:28:18Good night.
01:28:19Thank you very much.
01:28:21Good night.
01:28:25Sam?
01:28:29Sam?
01:28:30I'll be with you in a moment, darling.
01:28:42I'm sorry.
01:28:43He couldn't get the rest off.
01:28:52Oh, Sam.
01:28:54You ought to get a good night's sleep, darling.
01:28:56He said he'll be back in the morning with the blow lamp.
01:28:59See you later.
01:29:12You and Ben.
01:29:18you
01:29:20You