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Short filmTranscript
00:00Aren't you handing them out or what?
00:07Alright.
00:08Whatever it says on your suite, you've got to enact it, okay, there you go.
00:14Oh no.
00:15There you go.
00:18Be nasty.
00:20I think that's a different way of spelling nasty.
00:22What does it say?
00:23K-I-N-D.
00:24Be kind.
00:25Be kind.
00:26Mine's just got a love heart.
00:27Let's go.
00:28Hold on.
00:29No, wait a minute.
00:30I've got married me.
00:31No, no, no.
00:32He's got married me.
00:33No, no, no.
00:37We're back on the hunt for classic cars.
00:40Blimey.
00:41Isn't that beautiful?
00:43Be they big.
00:44Are the big green things for sale?
00:45I'm not sure about that.
00:47Which means they're not, okay.
00:49Small, that is a potential.
00:52Or somewhere in between.
00:54It's got no glass in it.
00:55It's got no bonnet.
00:56And you like it.
00:57I do, yeah.
00:59We're going to buy them, sort them, put them through their paces, and sell them for a tidy
01:09profit.
01:11This is Shed and Buried Classic Cars.
01:20We're heading north to see one of Fuzzy's schoolmates, who's got a shed full of classic
01:24cars.
01:25Where are we going?
01:27We're going to Stone in Staffordshire.
01:31This bloke that we're going to go and see.
01:33Yes, Alex is his name.
01:35We went to the same secondary school.
01:37It was a year or two above me.
01:40What does he pedal, if anything?
01:42Well, he's a fine chap.
01:44And he's got himself into the land of Rovers.
01:48It's a car called Rover, not a dog called Rover.
01:51Well, old were like P5s and that.
01:54Yeah, P4s, P5s.
01:55Even earlier, in fact, P2s, P3s.
01:58All of that kind of thing.
01:59If it's a Rover, it's not over.
02:03Whether we come back with a P4, a P45, or something entirely different, who knows?
02:10But Staffordshire, here we come.
02:13Now, Alex, you two were together at school, and now you've come together with me in the
02:21middle.
02:22That's right.
02:23That's right.
02:24How have the mighty fallen?
02:25OK.
02:26Can you explain to me, what is it with Rovers?
02:29I've always liked my Rovers.
02:31Always liked British cars.
02:32When I left school, I went and worked in the garage, and we worked on British Lalien, the
02:36predominantly Rover cars.
02:38And all through my life, inside there's a 35S.
02:41I bought one when I was 21.
02:43Are all of those in there for sale?
02:46Not all of them, no, but a good proportion of them.
02:48And there's a couple outside as well.
02:49Fabulous.
02:50Absolutely.
02:51So look, bottom liners, mate.
02:52We're going to have a rummage.
02:53I went to a posh school, and I think I've had the worst results ever for A-level for
02:59an Etonian.
03:00You could have just gone to our school.
03:01I could have gone to your school, and we'd all be three of us here today.
03:04Yes.
03:05Happy days.
03:06Alex, so look, we'll come and have a haggle.
03:07We'll get you in probably for a little bit of something.
03:10Not a problem.
03:11We enjoy it.
03:12Come on then, fuzzler.
03:13Hey, I love you.
03:14All right.
03:15Cheers, mate.
03:16See you in a bit, Alex.
03:17Alex's shed is one of the biggest we've been to.
03:22Row upon row of classic cars, and more Rovers than you can imagine.
03:29This is Rover Ever.
03:30Is it Valhalla?
03:31Isn't that where the Vikings went, because you've got your Viking motif on the front
03:35of your Rover?
03:37That was their heaven.
03:42Rover is one of the great names in British motoring.
03:45Starting in 1874, initially they produced bicycles, then motorbikes, then from 1904,
03:52cars.
03:53Their heyday was the 1950s and 60s, the era when most of these cars were built.
04:00That is a P4, and this is a P5.
04:06If you look at shots of the prime minister in the 1960s, and maybe Harold Wilson, but
04:13these P5s, and later P5Bs with the V8 engines, were often used by...
04:20Politicians.
04:21Yeah, up there.
04:22Diplomats, whatever.
04:23I was going to ask you, what lumps in here?
04:26This is a three litre, straight six.
04:29Okay.
04:30Can we just draw our attentions to whatever this is under here?
04:33It is a motorcycle, Henry.
04:35I know, that's what a...
04:37Oh, mate, come on.
04:38This is the dispatch rider's dream motorcycle.
04:42This is a CX500 plastic maggot, that's what they were called, shelf drive.
04:46Why were they called the plastic maggot?
04:47I have no idea at all.
04:49All I know is there is quite a cult following for these.
04:53Anyway, look, this one has done 59,000 of your finest British miles.
04:58So is that to the moon and back for a motorcycle?
05:01I think more Mars, actually.
05:04I worry that this probably was a dispatch bike.
05:07Do you know what I mean with that kind of mileage?
05:09Yeah, and dare I say it, I think it's pig ugly.
05:13But what's not ugly?
05:15There we go.
05:18No, no, the other beautiful thing in the corner.
05:22What, the oil dispenser?
05:24No, behind the oil dispenser, there's the elephant in the room, the Cheltenham Caravan.
05:29Look at that.
05:30Now, that is a thing of beauty.
05:33And it looks like it's largely original inside.
05:36I don't care.
05:37I can see a lot of wood.
05:38It's a caravan.
05:39Can we move on?
05:40Come on.
05:41Heading further into the shed, there are lots more classic Rover P5s and P6s, as well as
05:53some custom versions.
05:56Now, can you explain to me, though, with this, what's with the wood back like a Morris Minor
06:03Traveller?
06:04Well, I don't think that's standard.
06:05So I think we might be looking at a bit of a one-off here.
06:10Time to bring in the governor.
06:12Alex, come in.
06:14Now, look.
06:15Now, Fuzzer reckons this is a one-off.
06:16I mean, it's a medieval car, isn't it?
06:19So this car was originally a Rover factory car, because it's got Rover factory registration
06:24on it.
06:25Right.
06:26And we, when we first saw it, thought it was built by the apprentices at Rover.
06:32But it wasn't.
06:33It was actually built in 1972.
06:35Back in the 60s and 70s, an awful lot of cars had this woody sort of effect done on them.
06:40Because the state cars weren't around in the 70s, really.
06:43There weren't that many at all.
06:44But so hence, you've got to make your own, haven't you?
06:46That's right.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Until Volvo came around.
06:49Oh, thank gosh for a Volvo.
06:50You get yourself a 145.
06:53Another moving chicane for us bikers.
07:00Alex's other Rovers include a P4, once owned by Peter Sellers.
07:05You mean the great British comedian of the 1950s and 60s?
07:08Yeah.
07:09One of the goons?
07:10Yes.
07:11He bought this brand new.
07:12Just imagine, if you buy it, Henry, this could be the first car to be owned by two goons.
07:18I'm going to get my coat.
07:21I think I've had enough.
07:24A custom-built P4 Coupe.
07:27The early P4s, for the first two years, were called Cyclopses because they had the centre
07:32light.
07:33Yeah, it had a fog light in the middle.
07:34What was the centre light?
07:35That was a fog light?
07:36Fog light, yes.
07:37And a brown Rover P6, whose owner left his mark on the headrest.
07:42It's a lighter stain in the middle, so maybe it was dyed blonde.
07:49Or he was bald.
07:50Maybe.
07:51Actually, yeah.
07:53And he had a bald patch on the back that basically protected the leather.
08:01But Rovers aren't the only classic cars in this shed.
08:04Oh, it's a Splitty.
08:06Gordon, eulogise, eulogise.
08:08Here we have a late split-screen Morris Minor now.
08:11Lovely, lovely.
08:12These are a joyous thing.
08:16The first Morris Minor, released in 1948, had a split screen, hence the nickname, the
08:22Splitty.
08:23All in all, over 1.6 million were built, making them one of Britain's most popular cars.
08:31I think it may have been reupholstered, yeah.
08:33Never mind your obsession for worrying about...
08:35Don't worry about that.
08:36But the great thing is that there are a few things in the footwell, which means that it's
08:42work in progress.
08:44If we can have a little look under the bonnet, we might find how far that progress has gone.
08:49Right, so here we have a fairly well-sorted engine bay, but...
08:54Oh yeah, look, it looks lovely.
08:55We've got some aftermarket wiring there.
08:57It may have been done on a general all-purpose loom, so it might need a little bit of work
09:04doing.
09:05But all in all, there's your little green Morris 1000 engine sitting in there.
09:09It looks pretty cool to me, Matt.
09:10Yeah, it does, yeah.
09:14At the far end of the shed, it's a bit more mixed.
09:17He's got a knackered Mini, a flying trailer, and an early little grey Fergie.
09:25Slightly knocked about front end, but they do say that people pick vehicles that are
09:30like themselves.
09:33Before I give Fuzz's backside a knockabout, there's one more Rover that I've noticed outside.
09:40OK, it's a Rover P4.
09:42Oh, that is rather nice.
09:43It is.
09:44It's very nice inside.
09:45You've got a lovely green interior.
09:48The one thing that I would do, though, is I would put some correct period tyres on it.
09:55Now, look, this is probably Alex's daily drive, but we can find out.
09:59Yeah.
10:00OK, so what else have we got?
10:01We've got that oil dispenser, which I do love, the Castrol one.
10:05Yeah.
10:06Caravan?
10:07No, we haven't.
10:08What else have we got?
10:10You're certain about that, then?
10:11Yeah, we're not doing that.
10:12OK.
10:13What about the pale blue Cyclops P4?
10:15Oh, yeah, I like that.
10:16Yeah, so that's a possibility.
10:17What about the green P5?
10:19Yeah, that's lovely.
10:20The two-tone green P5 is absolutely beautiful.
10:23And, of course, the perfectly formed little Morris Minor split screen.
10:28Yeah.
10:29Why don't we find out a few prices?
10:31All right, mate.
10:32Look, I just know this is going to go remarkably well.
10:34Well.
10:35Come on, then.
10:40OK, so look, let's crack off with the P5, then, here, this lovely sage green.
10:47Yeah, yeah.
10:48So that's a 1959 Rover P5.
10:51We've got this one up at nine at the moment.
10:54OK, all right.
10:55Hey, look, I guess it's your daily driver, that one out there, is it?
10:59Well, that one is a customer's car that we're selling on their behalf.
11:02How much would that be?
11:04We want to get the customer 5,000 for it.
11:06OK.
11:07All right.
11:08OK, good.
11:10I'm getting a vibe.
11:11You've got an oil dispenser with jugs and stuff.
11:13Yeah.
11:14What would you want for that?
11:15About 4.5.
11:16450?
11:17Yeah.
11:18OK, what are we doing down the bottom now?
11:20There's a rose taupe split screen Morris Minor.
11:24I beg your pardon.
11:25You said what?
11:26Rose taupe.
11:27What the heck is that?
11:28It's the colour.
11:29It's grey with a little bit of a pinky hue underneath the bottom.
11:32Oh, don't start.
11:33It's rose taupe.
11:34How much is that?
11:35That's 2,250.
11:362,250?
11:37Yes.
11:38I can't decide.
11:40Whether we should have a punt on the Morris Minor splitty or that P4 outside.
11:45Depends.
11:46Depends how much legroom you'd like, sir.
11:49Well, they're rather lovely, the P4s, aren't they?
11:51They are.
11:52Yes, they are.
11:53But they don't have as big a following as the Morris Minors.
11:57Would you be interested in the Morris Minor and the Castrol thing for 2,500?
12:10We're up in stone in Staffordshire, surrounded by a shed full of rovers, some lovely trinkets
12:26and, more importantly, a delectable split screen Morris Minor.
12:30But will Alex let it go for 2,500?
12:35Has he got a V5 Morris Minor?
12:37Yeah, yeah, it's got all the paperwork to go with it.
12:39Would you reckon that?
12:40Yeah.
12:43Go on then.
12:44Really?
12:45Yeah.
12:47Alex, this is great.
12:48Thank you, Alex.
12:49That's great.
12:53Next day, it's time to get revealing.
12:58Now then, what do you reckon?
12:59I love the colour.
13:00Rose taupe.
13:01That's the colour.
13:02Proper vintage grey.
13:03Is there any rose in it at all?
13:06Can you see any rose?
13:07Well, I'm just shocked.
13:08I'm speechless.
13:10Is that good?
13:11No.
13:12Because...
13:13What?
13:14Well, it's grey.
13:15The interior is lovely.
13:16It looks lamentant.
13:17Yeah.
13:18Yeah, it's good.
13:19The dashboard has issues.
13:20Yeah.
13:21I think the speedo fell out.
13:22I think the speedo did fall out, and also a glove compartment.
13:25Shall we have a look under the bonnet?
13:27OK.
13:28Yes.
13:29Come on.
13:33Right, Fuzzer?
13:34Yeah?
13:36Are you going to do the honours?
13:37Yeah, I think so.
13:38Here we go.
13:42OK, now then.
13:43What do you two reckon?
13:45It looks nice and clean, but the wiring's been got out.
13:48What's wrong with that?
13:49It looks all right to me.
13:50It's nice colours.
13:51Wrong colours, though.
13:52Yeah, the wrong colours.
13:53It's not a proper wiring loom, is it?
13:55It's a homemade one.
13:56What can you not see?
13:57The dynamo alternator's missing.
13:59So we need an alternator.
14:01What else do we need, then?
14:02Well, we don't know yet.
14:04We need to try and see if we can get it running first,
14:06and see what works on it as well.
14:07See what electrically does work.
14:08Yeah.
14:09As you are the king of exteriors...
14:12Yes?
14:13Is there anything that we could do to jazz this up a bit?
14:16The only thing I can think to do is to put a red coach line
14:20because of the red interior, and that might give it
14:22just a little bit of class for not a lot of money.
14:25What do you reckon?
14:26I think that's a good idea.
14:27Yeah, I think it's a great idea.
14:28A little red stripe down the side,
14:29I think it's going to look rather poshola.
14:31It is quite quaint, I'll give you that.
14:32It's very quaint, isn't it?
14:33Can I just tell you what I think we should do?
14:35What?
14:36Get it all running and lovely.
14:37Yeah.
14:38We should go back to the 50s and go to a UK seaside town.
14:45That would be lovely, yeah.
14:46Before...
14:47Fish and chips?
14:48Oh, good idea, yes.
14:49Lovely.
14:50Don't tell anyone.
14:51I was going to say fish and chips.
14:52I love fish and chips.
14:53As long as it's gluten-free.
14:54We'll find gluten-free.
14:55Hey, I'll tell you what, though.
14:56For me, I prefer a savoy.
14:59The miner looks solid enough,
15:01but the last owner didn't quite finish their restoration job.
15:05So what works and what doesn't?
15:07Even without an alternator,
15:09it should still be possible to get this thing going
15:12to check the rest of the engine.
15:15I'm turning the ignition on.
15:17OK, right.
15:18Is it on?
15:21The starter motor works, but the engine won't turn over.
15:26Shall I keep the ignition on, then?
15:28Yeah, leave it off for a minute.
15:30You've got a loose distributor.
15:32What?
15:33For the ignition, it was loose, so the timing's not set.
15:36There is some good news.
15:38The headlights work.
15:40Is that on?
15:41Yeah.
15:42The wipers work.
15:44And so does the...
15:48But it takes 20 minutes of fiddling with electrical spaghetti
15:52before we're ready to try the ignition.
15:55Ready?
15:56Yeah.
15:57Ignition on.
15:59Oi, look at that!
16:01Hey!
16:05That's fantastic!
16:07Oh, this is great news, man.
16:09We've got ourselves a runner.
16:11But there's just one problem.
16:13One of the engine's four cylinders won't run.
16:17Plug's failed.
16:18Yeah.
16:20Glowtorch, I'll bring that back.
16:22Everyone's leaving me.
16:25Plug's failed.
16:26See ya.
16:27Plug's failed?
16:28Bean, the plug is fouled.
16:33Fortunately, a dirty spark plug is an easy fix.
16:39Right, so I'm just using the blowtorch to get all the muck off.
16:44So hopefully, pop that plug in and it'll work.
16:50Back goes the plug.
16:52But we try again.
16:55Hang on.
16:56Yeah, out of gear.
16:57Yeah?
16:58Yep.
16:59Ignition on.
17:00Good.
17:01That's it.
17:02There we are.
17:03That's it.
17:04There we go.
17:05Beautiful.
17:06That's fantastic.
17:07And there's no choke.
17:13OK.
17:14He's off.
17:20Typical.
17:21Well.
17:22I think it goes well.
17:23Yeah, the clutch works.
17:25He knows about us making a mess on his drive, doesn't he?
17:27That's right.
17:28I know.
17:29I know.
17:30He told us off only the other day, Al.
17:31He did.
17:32Yeah.
17:33My drive might not look pristine, but my quick trip around the car park is a success.
17:42It works.
17:43Mate, it sounds beautiful.
17:44There is a big problem.
17:45What?
17:46You drove off without us putting the cover back on the fuel pump.
17:50Hang on a second.
17:51You told me to drive off.
17:54We thought you'd do it in a measured way, trying to see if all the gears work.
17:57How far did you go?
17:58We might have to look for the cap.
18:01So a Pyrrhic victory, as they say.
18:03We won the battle of the engine, but lost a cap and a few bolts on the way.
18:08Not quite Dunkirk, but not D-Day either.
18:17Next day, while we wait for the alternator to turn up, we start on the Castrol oil dispenser.
18:24It's a bit of a sticker fest, actually, isn't it?
18:27It's a shame the stickers are a bit too modern.
18:30They are.
18:31Yeah, they kind of spoil the look.
18:32See, trouble is, right, at best, wedge-wise, this is worth 400 quid.
18:37Right, OK.
18:38If we peel the stickers off, lots of paint's going to come off, isn't it, Skid?
18:42I think so.
18:43So we have to repaint, resticker with nice water slide transfers and all that, and we'll lose our shirt.
18:48Right, OK.
18:49So I understand that.
18:50So we're going to have to go with the stickers.
18:52We'll give them a little bit of a blind eye to them and carry on.
18:57So it's more of a light-touch clean-up than a full restoration, but it's still a lovely thing.
19:06Prepare for disappointment.
19:10Absolutely nothing.
19:15As ever, Skid is not impressed by my latest restoration gadget.
19:19All right.
19:21But with a little bit of penetrating oil and a lot of elbow grease, the dust comes straight off.
19:29I think this stuff's hallucinogenic.
19:31I think you might be right, because, you know, for a second, I thought I saw Henry doing something.
19:36Yeah.
19:40Joking aside, the beauty of penetrating oil is that it both cleans and shines.
19:47Within 10 minutes, it's done.
19:51Well, this is a very quick resto.
19:53No, but it wasn't really a resto, was it? I didn't buy it as a resto.
19:56No.
19:57OK, I bought it as something just to give a quick clean with my brand-new mop.
20:00Yeah.
20:01That doesn't work.
20:02And is it being sold, or are you keeping this?
20:04I'll probably keep it. I'll sell it.
20:05Sell it? OK, great. Yeah, nice.
20:10A day later, we're back on minor duty, starting with an awkwardly placed seat.
20:16The driver's seat just is way too far forward,
20:19and it looks like somebody has altered it to be mounted further forward.
20:24Yeah, well, Henry's been moaning about it, that he's struggling to get behind the wheel with his pot.
20:28Yeah, I'm not surprised. It's very, very close indeed.
20:35Fortunately, this is a modification that should be easily reversed.
20:39Fuzz ratchets off the bolts and moves them back to their original position.
20:44Don't tell me we've had a result.
20:46We've had a result.
20:47That's good.
20:48That never happens to me.
20:50After a bit more ratcheting, Fuzz is ready for a seat test.
20:56Now, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
20:58Yeah.
20:59Can you get behind the wheel? Because if you can, Henry definitely can.
21:03Hold on, are you saying that I'm a little bit, uh...
21:05No, you're tall.
21:06Oh, OK.
21:08You've got longer legs than him. If you can get in there, will it move back?
21:12Need to adjust it. Hold on. There we go.
21:15Looks a lot better, doesn't it?
21:16Yeah, it does.
21:17And the seat even slides.
21:18Yeah.
21:19Yeah.
21:20Does it work?
21:21That's it.
21:22There we are.
21:23That's much better, isn't it?
21:24Look at that. That's better.
21:25Fantastic. He'll be a happy man.
21:29Sorting the wiring, however, is more complicated and more critical
21:33if we're really going to get to the seaside.
21:37We've managed to source a new alternator,
21:39but in order to get it to charge the battery,
21:42the charge light in the Speedo has to be working.
21:46Sounds simple, but there's more electrical spaghetti
21:49than the Butoni factory, and whoever rewired this was no master chef.
21:56There's a bit of an old birds nest starting to happen here.
22:00Is that it?
22:02Fuzz uses a solderless connector to join up the old and new wiring
22:06and a heat gun to make the join permanent.
22:11We're now attaching the wire to the charge light.
22:18So that's that connected.
22:20I'll put the battery on.
22:21Hopefully that light comes on when you turn the ignition on.
22:23Okay, hold on. Let's see.
22:25Battery's connected.
22:26Okay. Ignition on.
22:28No, we've got nothing.
22:30Hang on. There's a wire missing here.
22:32How's that?
22:33Oh, there we go. Yeah, perfect.
22:35Hold on. Let's turn the wipers off.
22:37So if we start the engine, the ignition light should go out.
22:40That is the theory.
22:44Yes, look at that. It goes out.
22:46A little bit of choke.
22:48Yes.
22:49That's a proper result.
22:51Brilliant. Excellent stuff.
22:54Refitting the Speedo requires yet more buggeration,
22:57but finally, after half an hour, it's all done.
23:02Alternator's charging.
23:04Lights are working. Indicators are working.
23:07We have a fully functioning Morris line-out.
23:12So magnifique.
23:14But before we visit the seaside,
23:16we need to find a way to carry all our luggage.
23:19And I've got a very special package for you.
23:23I've got a very special pilgrimage to make.
23:39The electrical problems are sorted on our Morris miner,
23:42and the battery's charging properly.
23:44But there's still plenty more to do
23:46before our day out at the seaside.
23:49How are we going to fit all our bags in there if we're going away?
23:52Well, it's funny you should say that, young man.
23:55I've got this plan that we buy ourselves a roof rack,
23:59which, strangely, I might well have acquired.
24:02Did you get one that was sort of like a universal old look,
24:06or is it for a modern car?
24:08It didn't really look.
24:10Do you know what I think's going to happen?
24:12What?
24:13I think we're going to set off, and we're going to arrive,
24:16and the roof rack will be missing.
24:19Well, I have to tell you, you are probably right, Skid,
24:22but the bottom line is that I hope I've actually bought a roof rack that'll fit.
24:26Let's cross one bridge at a time, shall we?
24:29The first bridge, let's clean.
24:33Because this is the original paint,
24:35we're going to clean the car very gently with just soap and water.
24:42It's a shame, actually, because I only have three sponges.
24:46No, you don't. There's more here.
24:49There's another one here for you.
24:50How come you found that?
24:51I thought I'd hidden them all.
24:59It's really nice washing old cars.
25:00They've got nice shapes.
25:01With modern cars, just flat.
25:04Once all the grime has gone,
25:06Fuzz uses the jet wash on a gentle setting to get rid of the soap.
25:12You're not... Yeah, it's still drying here.
25:16Henry!
25:19The next stage is to dry and polish it all up with a pair of chamois.
25:27Originally, they were made from the skin of a chamois goat,
25:31but today, most are synthetic.
25:33With either type, the key is to always keep them slightly damp
25:37to avoid accidental scratching.
25:42I'll tell you what, lads.
25:44I mean, I know we've just been washing a car,
25:47but it's actually quite therapeutic,
25:48because it's come out rather lovely.
25:52Well, shall we take it down to the technical area?
25:54It's about a 50-yard drive.
25:55And then we can, um...
25:58...attach the woof-wack.
26:00Hey!
26:09No, no, no, look. Don't look so expectant.
26:13It's a flat pack.
26:14It's got an important notice.
26:15Yeah, it has.
26:16Before signing for this parcel,
26:17please check this package to make sure
26:18that none of the items inside are damaged.
26:20Did you check?
26:21No.
26:22Oh.
26:23No, but look, guys,
26:24that's nowhere near, actually, the crack.
26:27It's not, is it?
26:28Oh, no, but you just made another mess.
26:30That comes with a book.
26:31Oh, look.
26:33Oh, my God.
26:36I didn't quite know what colour it was.
26:38It's a nice colour.
26:39It matches the car nicely.
26:40It matches the car.
26:42Hey, look.
26:43Oh, mate.
26:45Oh, my God.
26:46Do you know what?
26:47Sometimes, hey, it works out.
26:53Step one.
26:54Set up feet.
26:58As with everything that comes disassembled,
27:00by the time you've put it all together
27:02and screwed everything up
27:04without screwing anything up,
27:06you'll be reaching for a flat pack straight jacket.
27:11I've just realised...
27:12Yes, what's that?
27:14Surely we don't need any suitcases to hold a roof rack.
27:18Well, there's my medical supplies.
27:20That's quite large.
27:21Oh, yeah, OK.
27:22So I'll need a bag for that.
27:23All right, you'll have a bag.
27:24Spare parts for the car.
27:25Yeah, OK.
27:26Yeah, all right.
27:28You need your foil for your highlight kit.
27:34If you ever want to know
27:35how long it takes for four grown men
27:37to assemble a flat pack roof rack,
27:40the answer is 30 minutes and 8 seconds.
27:44And no, we won't be entering the Krypton Factor this year.
27:49Let's just put it on the blooming car, shall we?
27:51Mind the paintwork.
27:52Careful.
27:54I'm on the data.
27:55I'm nowhere near.
27:59It's not going particularly well, is it?
28:03Surely it's not actually big enough.
28:06Is it?
28:07Come forward a bit, mate.
28:08Keep it square.
28:09Are you sure we're doing the right thing here?
28:12I don't think that's going to stay on now.
28:14Yeah, it's rigid.
28:17Oh!
28:18Careful, that was nearly my tootsies.
28:20You're out there.
28:21That's no good.
28:23Oh, it's doing so...
28:24It's out.
28:26Harder!
28:27Harder!
28:29My bag's going in the boot.
28:32But fear you not.
28:33Another 20 minutes later, it's all done and dusted.
28:36Now, I've got to tell you.
28:38That is the right result, isn't it?
28:40It's a proper colour match, isn't it?
28:42Yeah, it's really cool.
28:43Obviously, it was just totally intentional.
28:45You got lucky.
28:46Hey, look.
28:47I think we're just about ready, barring packing,
28:51to head for the coast.
28:56Before we hit Weston,
28:58while Fuzz and Alan pack the car with spares and sandwiches,
29:02I've got a pilgrimage to make to the museum
29:04where they have the first Miner,
29:06and I want to do it on a very special vehicle.
29:11Do you recognise it?
29:12Of course I do.
29:15This is my Harley WLA,
29:17a classic of a very different kind,
29:19but like the Miner, a great vehicle for cruising along,
29:23if we can get it going.
29:26It hasn't been a long time since I've driven a Miner.
29:30It hasn't been started probably for about six months.
29:33Which is going to make it tricky to kick.
29:38My Harley has an unusual configuration,
29:41with a hand change and a foot clutch,
29:44and whereas the Miner had a reputation for being a good starter,
29:48this was always, er, temperamental.
29:52Are you ready for this?
29:53Yeah, go on, give it some.
29:56That just sounds dead as a doornail, doesn't it?
29:58Keep going.
30:02I really want to find out more about the Miner's history
30:05before we head for the seaside,
30:07so we need to get this thing running.
30:10Guy joins in, but doesn't do much better.
30:14Until finally...
30:16Pick it up just one.
30:18Hang on.
30:20Vroom, vroom, vroom
30:26This is great!
30:30Love you, bud.
30:31Good purchase.
30:33Ah, welcome back.
30:36This is great news, man.
30:40Half an hour later, I'm togged up and high on me hog.
30:45So, look, we're going up to Gaydon,
30:47up to the British Motor Museum,
30:51and going to have a gander
30:53at the first ever, would you believe, Forest Miner.
30:58I think it's from 1948.
31:01Wow.
31:03That's interesting, because this is 1947.
31:10Even though this Harley hasn't been around for a long time,
31:14even though this Harley hasn't been ridden for six months,
31:17it feels great.
31:25Well, that went rather beautifully.
31:27She is a glorious thing.
31:30Now then, welcome to the British Motor Museum.
31:40Opened in 1993,
31:42it holds the world's biggest and best collection of British cars,
31:45including the first Morris Minor, as curator Kat tells me.
31:52As one of the best-selling British small cars until the Mini,
31:561.6 million were made,
31:58and when they made the millionth,
32:00they actually ran a competition
32:02to try to find the oldest Morris Minor that they could
32:06and exchange it for a millionth.
32:09And the oldest one is this one that they managed to find,
32:12which happened to be the first one, actually.
32:17In 1948, NWL 576 cost £359
32:23and topped out at 62mph.
32:26It's a splitty like ours,
32:28but has a different front grille and interior.
32:34Hey, look, so, look, lineage-wise,
32:36I mean, this was the first design,
32:39but things changed, didn't they, as time went on?
32:42Yeah.
32:43I mean, my Morris Minor don't really look like that front end-wise.
32:46No, no.
32:47Famously, William Morris said it looked like the poached egg,
32:50so, you know, it's got a bit of a love-hate relationship with it as well,
32:54but, yeah, they did some changes to the sizes,
32:57so there's loads of different things that changed over time,
33:01but, you know, the main love of the Morris Minor is still there.
33:04You can still tell what they are.
33:06Absolutely.
33:07I tell you, there must be a lot, no?
33:09There must be.
33:10You see quite a few,
33:11but not in January in weather, I don't think.
33:14No.
33:15Well, we're going to Western Super Mirror in a minute,
33:17and we'll get there.
33:18Oh, fab, yeah.
33:19Just a little bit of beachside, you know, entertainment.
33:21It's great weather for it.
33:22It's got to be, hasn't it?
33:23Because that's where a Morris Minor spiritual home is, to me, anyway,
33:26which is by a British seaside town.
33:29Absolutely.
33:30Do you know what I mean?
33:31It's of that era, I think, of leisure and travel
33:34and accessibility to all of those things.
33:37So, a great road trip type car, I think.
33:39It is a road trip type car.
33:41To me, it just warms the cockles of my heart to see the first one.
33:47Back at the shed, inspired by my history lesson,
33:50there's just one more period detail to add,
33:53a red coach line.
33:57On the swage line.
33:58Swage?
33:59What?
34:00On the swage line.
34:02The swage, or body line,
34:05is a decorative feature that was once commonplace.
34:09The important thing when you're doing this
34:11is to go for a bit of distance when you start it.
34:14Don't have your hands really close together
34:15because you'll get a wobble in it.
34:16You've got to stretch it out.
34:17Yeah, yeah.
34:18You put it on and then you get a straight line
34:21rather than a coach line that goes like that.
34:23OK, well, you're going to show us how, aren't you?
34:25Yes.
34:29First things first,
34:30Alan warms up the swage line
34:32to make it a little bit more grippy.
34:35Then Skid gets to work.
34:38So what you've got to do is get that roughly in the middle by eye.
34:41Your eye's good enough, I won't mark the car.
34:43So then...
34:44Nail it!
34:45Just rub that down.
34:46Oh, mate, actually, do you know what?
34:48Looks good, doesn't it?
34:49That is really good.
34:50I need the scalpel now.
34:52Once upon a time, this was his speciality,
34:55earning him loads of moolah.
34:57Now, the thing is with this, if you notice,
34:59I've got the curved blade
35:01because you can roll that over the stripe.
35:03If that's a point, it tends to drag it off and move it.
35:06So you want a scalpel blade with the curved edge.
35:11You can do this with paint,
35:13but vinyl tape is a cheaper and more flexible option
35:16in case you change your mind.
35:20Don't ever wrap it over there
35:21because when it gets cold, it will shrink and lift
35:23and then it will come off.
35:25So always end it a slight bit short.
35:27And the other thing you can do
35:28is do a dab of clear nail varnish on the end
35:31just to seal it.
35:33After another quick warm-up with the blowtorch,
35:36Skid does the same on the other side.
35:42And our Morris Minor is complete.
35:45Mate!
35:46There you go.
35:47You have excelled.
35:49Hey, look, we're getting revved up
35:51for our little trip out
35:52to celebrate British seaside town life.
35:56All we need is fuzzer and we'll be away.
35:59Now, do we reckon the coach lines and the roof rack
36:02are going to be on when we arrive?
36:04The jury's out.
36:21Two months ago,
36:22we found a solitary Morris Minor
36:24surrounded by a flotilla of rovers.
36:28Oh, it's a splitty.
36:31Oh, a joyous thing.
36:33Back at the shed, we got it going.
36:37Oi, look at that.
36:40Sorted its electrics,
36:43its mechanicals,
36:45and its looks.
36:48Mate, you have excelled.
36:52Now it's taken us to Weston,
36:54a quintessentially British car
36:56for a quintessential
36:58old-fashioned British seaside resort.
37:06So, boys,
37:07welcome to Weston-super-Mare.
37:09The best thing is, we've actually made it.
37:11Yes.
37:12Isn't that fantastic?
37:13Yeah.
37:14And she hasn't missed a beat, you know.
37:16I know.
37:17Has she?
37:18It's quite comfy in the back as well.
37:20I've got it all lined up, right?
37:21Yeah.
37:22Okay, we're going to go down the pier,
37:24okay,
37:26and we're going to go to an amusement arcade.
37:28Yes.
37:29Right?
37:30Great.
37:31And then we're going to do
37:33what Fuzz's favourite occupation is.
37:35Oh, yes.
37:36And what's that, Fuzzer?
37:37It's having fish and chips by the seaside.
37:39Oh, yes.
37:40You know it makes sense, mate.
37:41Yep.
37:42We might just have it leaning over the car, you know.
37:44But meantime,
37:46I'm so impressed with the Morris.
37:48Yeah, good little Morris, isn't it?
37:50It's been going beautifully.
37:51Hasn't it?
37:5220 miles an hour.
37:53I mean, you know,
37:54it's on the motorway.
37:58I...
37:59Oh.
38:00Oh, dear.
38:02Uh-oh.
38:04I think we've blown a fuse.
38:05Oh, no, we haven't.
38:06No, that's good to go.
38:07There we go.
38:12So, not perfect,
38:14but apart from that minor stall,
38:16it's plain sailing.
38:18Man, I've got to tell you,
38:19this is living the life.
38:20Yeah, it is.
38:21Do you know what's just so nice
38:22about going back to the 60?
38:24Is it safe.
38:25Right?
38:26The future's terrifying to me.
38:28You know?
38:29Yeah, how scary.
38:30Scary.
38:31The future's scary.
38:32The past is just...
38:33Oh, it's all cosy and nice.
38:35I think that's why we're into
38:36all our classic vehicles,
38:37don't you think?
38:38Yeah, it takes you back to that time.
38:41Oh, I'm looking forward
38:42to our next stop.
38:43Oh, yes.
38:44Oh, yes.
38:45Oh, yes.
38:46Oh, I'm looking forward
38:47to our trip down the pier.
38:50Weston's Grand Pier
38:52dates back to 1909
38:54when it was opened
38:55after an Act of Parliament
38:57and a 16-year build.
39:00This is it, man.
39:01We've made it to Weston.
39:03Brilliant.
39:04Oh, yeah.
39:05You've got a car
39:07that is 70 years old, pretty much.
39:09Yeah.
39:10And it's still usable.
39:11And it just blends in perfectly,
39:13doesn't it?
39:14It does.
39:15I'm quite surprised
39:16that we've got onto the pier, though.
39:18I wasn't expecting to be
39:20driving on here like royalty.
39:22We are like royalty.
39:23Yeah, I'm not sure
39:24that we're supposed to be on here.
39:25Can I just say?
39:26Yeah.
39:27I have agreed
39:28some special dispensation.
39:33The pier's 366 metres long
39:36and 13 metres wide,
39:38climaxing with a huge pavilion.
39:42Come on, then.
39:46Originally, I'd hoped for a quick paddle
39:49and some crazy golf,
39:51but the sea's too far out
39:53and it's so cold
39:54that we'll stick to more traditional pursuits.
39:58Riding.
40:00Oh, I'm in trouble.
40:03Bumping.
40:06Right.
40:07Oh, I'll be back.
40:08Oh, God.
40:09So what happens?
40:10You just go...
40:12Dropping.
40:14Dropping.
40:19Picking up.
40:23That's it.
40:24Oh, I nearly got one.
40:27Hoofing.
40:30A guy's personal obsession.
40:32Shove hate thee.
40:35Is that the last one?
40:36Last one. Here we go. Hang on.
40:37Go on, then.
40:40Oh.
40:41No, it's a shame, Guy.
40:42I'm going to quit.
40:43Right.
40:44Walk away, mate.
40:45I'm in recovery.
40:47Fortunately, we haven't used up all our coin,
40:50leaving us just enough for a final seaside treat.
40:55Fish and chips, once.
40:57What do you want?
40:58Sausage and chips.
40:59Sausage and chips?
41:00OK, fantastic.
41:02The Morris Miner has taken us to heaven.
41:05I think so.
41:13There is nothing better than fish and chips by the sea.
41:17It's your favourite, isn't it?
41:18It is, yeah.
41:19Now, then, shall we just reflect on our day?
41:22Yes.
41:23Haven't we had a lovely time?
41:24Amazing.
41:25That was brilliant.
41:26It's been great, yeah.
41:27The drive here was great.
41:28The amusement arcade on the pier was fantastic.
41:30This food goes perfectly with the Morris Miner.
41:33So, look, I tell you, all we've got to do now is find a buyer,
41:37or at least, you know, find out how much it's worth,
41:40because I reckon we've put a lot of value on it.
41:42I reckon so, and, do you know, it's got such charm,
41:46I would have one of these again.
41:48It could be yours for three and a half grand.
41:50You know what I mean?
41:51What about...
41:52Where's Skid gone?
41:53Yeah, where is he?
41:54Oh, God, he's gambling.
41:56Right, come on, quick, quick, look, he's going...
41:58Come on.
41:59Guy!
42:00Skid!
42:01Oi!
42:05Next day, back at the shed,
42:07our favourite motor dealer, Chopper Roy, turns up.
42:13Now, I have to tell you, we have done all kinds of things in this.
42:17Also, our trip to Western Super Mare Hair yesterday...
42:21Is it really?
42:22..didn't miss a beat.
42:23Well, it splattered a little bit, but it didn't miss a beat, Roy.
42:26It's probably the farthest one's ever been.
42:28I was trying to win you a furry toy, but failed horribly.
42:32Not a few moments.
42:33What do you reckon, then?
42:35For an early split screen, it's pretty damn good.
42:37There's a little bit of num-num there.
42:39Yeah, they've all got a little bit.
42:41Yeah.
42:42Now, listen, Roy, I know you don't have to look at it too much,
42:44because, obviously, you trust us,
42:46because we are four incredibly reliable, honest people.
42:49Well, these three are.
42:52It's three and a half grand, Roy.
42:54Is it?
42:55Well, what would you put it on for, put it that way?
42:57I'd pay three and a half, or three if you leave the roof rack on.
43:02I thought the roof rack was great.
43:04It's colour-coded.
43:05What more could you want?
43:06Removal.
43:07Removal?
43:08It's not everyone's case, is it?
43:09Well, we'll keep that for another item, then, one day.
43:11There you go.
43:12I tell you what, that means we're saving 120 quid.
43:14We are.
43:15That's how much it cost me, I think.
43:16Yeah?
43:17Did it really?
43:18Yeah.
43:19All right, so, look, are we agreed at three and a half?
43:20We are.
43:21Because that gives us a monkey, doesn't it?
43:22Whatever that is.
43:23Yeah, fantastic.
43:24And a roof rack.
43:25And you don't want the roof rack?
43:26I don't want a roof rack.
43:27So it gives us 500 plus the roof rack.
43:29All right.
43:30Three and a half it is, Roy.
43:31Happy day.
43:33Pretty genuine.
43:34You're buying it rather than valuing it.
43:35Yeah, I love it, yeah.
43:36Yeah, are you really?
43:37Yep.
43:38100%.
43:39There must be an owner in it that we don't know about.
43:40Thank you very much, boys.
43:41See you, Chopper.
43:42Nice.
44:02Thanks.
44:03Bye.
44:04Bye.
44:05Bye.