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00:00The following programme contains strong language.
00:24Welcome to Rob Beckett's Smart TV, a quiz about TV,
00:28or as Alison calls it, a welcome break from Derma O'Leary.
00:32As always, I'm joined by my two team captains,
00:35the life of the party, Alison Hammond,
00:37and the man who rang the council to complain about the noise,
00:40Josh Winnicombe!
00:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:47On Alison's team tonight is a comedian, actor, TV host
00:50and one of the funniest Edwardians I know, it's Tom Allen!
00:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:56Very nice. Thanks.
00:58Also on Alison's team is the star of Ted Lasso and Top Boy,
01:01so I definitely won't be challenging him
01:03to a game of five-a-side or a fight.
01:05It's Conor McGeeney!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:10On Josh's team is star of A League Of Gentlemen
01:13and inside number nine, he's got more BAFTAs than I've got balls.
01:16He's got three. It's Steve Pemberton!
01:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:20I've got five, actually. You've got five?!
01:23So many. Where do you put them all?
01:25Thanks to the House Of Games trophy that I beat Josh over.
01:31Also on Josh's team is a one-show presenter
01:34who can easily switch from tragic to feel-good,
01:36as she'll display tonight by chatting to Josh, then Alison.
01:39It's Alex Jones!
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44OK, welcome to the show, everyone.
01:46Tom, do you remember your first time on TV?
01:48Yeah, as a ten-year-old, I did appear on QVC,
01:51demonstrating Sega Mega Drives.
01:54Wow!
01:55Was you good at it?
01:57Do you know what? I was excellent, actually. Really?
01:59Because I was quite chatty, and they would ask me,
02:01like, Tom, what do you think about this Sega Mega Drive?
02:03And I'd be like, it's fabulous.
02:05And they sold loads of them.
02:07So, at ten, were you already, like, Tom Allen?
02:09I was ready to go.
02:12Straight out of the trap. Yeah.
02:15Alex, your first TV appearance,
02:17it wasn't the sort of free, you know,
02:19watershed family entertainment, was it?
02:21I was a contestant on a game show for Sky.
02:23Prickly Heat? It's called Prickly Heat.
02:25Davina McCall presenting.
02:27Like Magaluf Weekend? A bit like Magaluf Weekend,
02:29the early form of that.
02:30There's a photo here of you here. Oh, no, there isn't.
02:32There is.
02:33Oh!
02:35You look great! Wow!
02:37Alison, that is horrific.
02:39Look at the yellow bikini!
02:41I did my finals out there, so it coincided with my finals,
02:45and they had to call the union and say,
02:48we want her to take part in this game show.
02:51So they flew the papers out, and I did them out there.
02:53You did your exams? Yeah. Davina McCall was my invigilator.
02:57No, really? Yeah.
02:59I see her often now, and she's like,
03:01it's so weird, innit, Al?
03:05Steve, what about your first TV experience?
03:07Was it In The Red, is that the one?
03:09Yeah, our producer from The League Of Gentlemen
03:12decided to blood us before we were, you know,
03:14ready to start our own show,
03:16and she gave us small parts in this big BBC drama,
03:19and it had an incredible cast, like Rick Mayles, Stephen Fry,
03:22but I had all my scenes with Richard Griffiths,
03:25and he's an amazing actor, but after a nice long lunch,
03:28he just wanted to go to sleep.
03:30He said, dear boy, when it's coming up to my line,
03:32just give me a kick under the table for the cue.
03:35So my job was just to kick him, and he'd go,
03:38yes, absolutely, I agree!
03:42And then he went back to sleep again.
03:44OK, now, Colin, before you played a footballer in Ted Lasso,
03:48you played semi-pro football in South London,
03:50and then obviously went on to play a footballer in Ted Lasso.
03:53Was that a stretch for you as an actor?
03:56Or did you manage it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I managed it, mate.
03:59Yeah, I came from the football background, but if you don't,
04:01then it'll be probably the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life.
04:04I'd be terrible if I was supposed to be in a football team.
04:07Wouldn't know where anything went.
04:10You recently raced across the world. Yes. How was that?
04:13You had a bit of trouble on that, though, didn't you?
04:15Yeah, I was rubbish.
04:19You can't really, like, prepare for it the way you want to.
04:22You don't know where you're going to go. Yeah.
04:24So, yeah, you lose your passport, like me.
04:26So that's what happens. How did you lose your passport?
04:28I left on a bus.
04:29You should always check around first and then get off.
04:32It was in this pouch, and the pouch was black,
04:34and the seat was black, and it was dark, so I just got off.
04:37If we'd kept our red passports and stayed in the European Union...
04:43..this would never have happened.
04:46Right, as whoever is Eamonn Holmes' newest girlfriend said
04:49the night they met, let's get it over with.
04:53Right.
04:56Too much? It's good. It's good.
04:59You're not on the one show now, Alex!
05:02Right, it's the start of the show,
05:04so we start with a round that starts with the starts of shows.
05:07It's Roll The Titles.
05:08I'll play the theme music from one TV show
05:10over the title sequence of another,
05:12and you need to buzz in and name both shows to get the point.
05:15We'll play three mash-ups.
05:16The team that gets the most points gets the pick of the show
05:19they want to answer questions on.
05:21Before we see the first mash-up, let's hear your buzzers.
05:24Alison? Oh!
05:25Josh?
05:26What's a curtain?
05:27What's a curtain?
05:30OK, let's hear your first mash-up.
05:32Fingers on buzzers.
05:34MUSIC PLAYS
05:40What's a curtain?
05:41Yes, Josh?
05:42It's The Sopranos. Mm-hm.
05:44Is it Emmerdale?
05:45Yes, that is correct.
05:47Well done, Josh's team!
05:50Let's get them two on the board.
05:52It's The Sopranos and Emmerdale.
05:54One show where they sleep with the fishes,
05:56in the other show they sleep with their cousins.
05:58OK.
05:59Here's your next one.
06:04MUSIC PLAYS
06:09What's a curtain?
06:10Yes, Josh?
06:11Buffy. Yes.
06:12And Springwatch.
06:13Correct!
06:14Well done, Josh's team!
06:18OK, let's get them on the board.
06:20It was Springwatch and Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
06:23two shows where people hunt for mysterious,
06:25nocturnal, sexy creatures.
06:27And, yes, that is me admitting that I'd bang a badger.
06:30Get the point there. Well done.
06:32Here's your next mash-up.
06:34Come on, come on, come on.
06:35MUSIC PLAYS
06:39What's a skirting?
06:40Yeah.
06:41Oh, yes?
06:42That's a bit of Strictly.
06:44And the visuals are from the submarine drama Vigil.
06:48I can confirm that is correct.
06:50Well done!
06:54It was the name that came up, Saran Jones.
06:56Saran Jones.
06:57I don't know any of these shows.
06:59I'd say Strictly's a big one.
07:02Oh, yeah.
07:04It was Vigil and Strictly,
07:06one a show about the mysterious death of a sailor,
07:08the other a show about the mysterious death
07:10of multiple celebrity marriages.
07:13And you get a point. Well done.
07:15Let's get them on the board as well.
07:17Is that your catchphrase? Let's get them on the board?
07:19Which sounds like a fabulous ironing programme.
07:21If they...
07:26Let's get them on the board.
07:27We've got a crumpled shirt that's been in a bag for two weeks.
07:30Let's get them on the board.
07:32Let's get them on the board.
07:35So, Josh's team, you've got the most points there.
07:37You get to choose first.
07:39What are you going to go for?
07:40I like Strictly. We watch it as a family.
07:43You've been on Strictly, haven't you, Alex?
07:45How far did you go, Alex?
07:46Semi-final.
07:47Semi-final.
07:48Well done, Alex.
07:49I wouldn't have if I wasn't Welsh.
07:52You know, they're very supportive as a nation.
07:55I was sore shit.
07:56No, you wasn't!
07:57Night one, right?
07:58My mother said, who loves Strictly,
08:00but she said to my father,
08:01Oh, Alan, this is really spoiling it for me.
08:06She's talking about you!
08:11Josh, you've chosen Strictly Come Dancing,
08:14the ultimate feel-good show that for 20 years
08:17has been treating celebrities like Russian circus bears.
08:21Now, in this game, I'm going to give you a Strictly celeb
08:24and you just have to tell me
08:25what song you think they danced to in week one.
08:28Does that make sense?
08:29So it's related to their job or person?
08:31Because it's always literal, isn't it?
08:33So what did you dance to?
08:34Have You Met Miss Jones?
08:35Oh!
08:36No, I'm actually...
08:37What did you get?
08:38I'm every woman.
08:40I think they thought I was like every woman.
08:42That's not your job!
08:45OK, first up, celebrity vicar, if that's a thing,
08:48the Reverend Richard Coles.
08:50I love Richard Coles.
08:51Oh!
08:52There he is, the man with the best agent in showbiz, God.
08:58Now, so my question is,
09:00what song do you think they made Richard do the cha-cha to?
09:03Is the cha-cha fast?
09:04I don't know what the cha-cha is.
09:06It's one, two, cha-cha-cha.
09:08One, two, cha-cha-cha.
09:10Tom, you're made for it.
09:12Tom, you'd be great on it.
09:13You'd be great.
09:14Do you know what you'd be difficult with, though?
09:16What?
09:17At the end, you've really danced your little heart out
09:19and you stand there and then they start giving...
09:21Oh, yeah.
09:22I wouldn't have any of that.
09:25Reno!
09:26Oh, no, thank you!
09:28What's his name, who's now looking like Ryland on the end?
09:31Craig!
09:36Craig, done himself up like Ryland
09:38and thinks no-one's going to notice.
09:43What about...
09:44I Wanna Praise You?
09:45That's the first thing that came into my head,
09:47was Fatboy Slim Praise You.
09:49What about, like, a sped-up version of Hallelujah?
09:55Hallelujah?
09:56God Only Knows by the Beach Boys?
09:58OK, have you got an answer for the rev?
10:00Yeah, go on, what do you think?
10:01I thought Praise You came into...
10:03Shall we go with Praise You? 100%.
10:04If it's a sped-up version of Hallelujah,
10:06we're going to kick ourselves.
10:07OK, right, so you think Praise You by Fatboy Slim?
10:10Let's see if you're right.
10:20MUSIC CONTINUES
10:28Good on. Good on, Rob.
10:32You were wrong, I'm afraid.
10:33Richard Coles did the cha-cha to There Must Be An Angel
10:36by the Eurythmics.
10:37Spreading God's message the traditional way
10:39by shaking that ass.
10:41Your next celeb is wildlife presenter Steve Bakshaw.
10:44Oh! Oh, he's brilliant.
10:46So, what song do you think wildlife presenter Steve Bakshaw
10:49did the tango to?
10:51Oh...
10:52For his first street dance.
10:54So, what's the tango?
10:55Like that.
10:57Oh, that one? One of them.
10:59I've got a bad neck, so I can't do the full...
11:01I thought your neck was getting better.
11:03It is, but not tango ready.
11:05Are we ruling out Born To Be Wild?
11:08Is that tango-y?
11:09BORN TO BE WILD
11:11Yes, it is.
11:12He's tango ready.
11:15That's a good shout.
11:17Wild thing. I need an answer.
11:19But also, Who Let The Dogs Out?
11:21Cos you do the head of...
11:22Who let the dogs out?
11:28Right, what's your final answer?
11:30Going to go with Born To Be Wild.
11:31Born To Be Wild.
11:32OK, let's see if you're right, was it Born To Be Wild?
11:34BORN TO BE WILD
11:38BORN TO BE WILD
11:42BORN TO BE WILD
11:48Yes, well done!
11:50Well done.
11:51Good work.
11:52That is a tough round.
11:53Yeah, that was good.
11:55God, you see Steve Bakshaw in a whole new light there, isn't it?
11:58It's fitting, isn't it?
11:59So, Steve Bakshaw did the tango to Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf.
12:04Well done, you got the point.
12:0610 points to Josh's team, well done.
12:09Time now for a quick break, see you in a bit.
12:25Welcome back to Rob Beckett's Smart TV.
12:27Up next, Alison's team get to choose one of the TV shows
12:30on the ball to answer questions on.
12:32Alison, what are you going to go for?
12:34I'm going to go for Emmerdale.
12:36Emmerdale.
12:37Emmerdale's the sort of thing I like.
12:39You've chosen Emmerdale for your team.
12:41Yep.
12:42Emmerdale has been one of the most popular British soaps
12:44for over 50 years.
12:46The villagers seem to constantly be dealing with murder,
12:48death and disaster.
12:50Now, big fans of Emmerdale?
12:51I used to like it when it was the Dingles,
12:53maybe misplacing a cap, that sort of thing.
12:56When it was called Emmerdale Farm, did you like it then?
12:58I loved it when it was Emmerdale Farm.
13:01Oh, wait, I used to cry every single, like, Sunday.
13:05Cos it used to be my bedtime after Emmerdale.
13:09I did see you look like that.
13:10Then you'd go to bed after you'd finished.
13:11Then I'd have to go to bed afterwards, yeah.
13:12So that theme tune's just brought that all back, yeah.
13:14It is a good show, it is good.
13:16The plane crash, that was the best bit.
13:18Yeah, that was so good.
13:19That was so good when they just decided to wipe out half the cast.
13:24I keep pushing for it on the last leg, but they're not buying it.
13:28OK, in this game, I'll show you a scene from Emmerdale
13:31and your job is to simply predict what mental thing
13:34is about to happen to the poor sods in the clip.
13:37Alison, here's your first one.
13:38That's all I want. Please.
13:42I, um...
13:46Yeah.
13:49OK?
13:51Yes.
13:52Yes.
13:59You're lying.
14:01OK, so, you've got two people arguing,
14:04then there's a vicar driving and singing a hymn.
14:07Oh, I thought Reverend Richard Coles was getting ready to do a tango.
14:11I'm going to make it easy for you, I've got some options here.
14:13A, the vicar sees them arguing and stops to see if he can help.
14:16As soon as he gets out of the car, he's mowed down by a lorry.
14:19Oh!
14:20B, the vicar calmly runs the couple over
14:22and then continues singing The Lord Is My Shepherd.
14:26That's the one I want to see.
14:28Or C, the woman pushes the man off a bridge,
14:30he lands on the vicar's car and causes a massive pile-up.
14:33Oh!
14:35I just think you have to see it in the context of the budget.
14:38I just think there's a chance they haven't gone to the trouble
14:40of anything too...
14:42No, but when Emmerdale want to go large, they go large.
14:45They get a special check? They get, like, proper cruising.
14:48They do go over the top with certain things,
14:50so if this is one of those moments where they really want to go for it,
14:53I reckon we could choose any of them.
14:55I could see B happening.
14:57The vicar runs the couple over.
14:59Because he just goes,
15:01THE LORD'S MY SHEPHERD
15:04I can see that happening.
15:07But would he run both of them over? That's a bit, like, extra.
15:10One of them probably would have seen the car come in.
15:13Do you know what I mean? I reckon it could be the woman
15:16because she's the man off the bridge,
15:18because it looked like there was a bit of tension there.
15:21But also, like, causes a pile-up. What do you mean by that?
15:24Yeah, that's a bit of extra.
15:26OK, I land on my car, oh, man traffic.
15:28Do you know what I mean?
15:30LAUGHTER
15:32What do you think we're going to go for?
15:34Shall we go for that, then? I like it.
15:36Do you like it? I like A.
15:38It looks more realistic.
15:40You think the vicar is mowed down by a lorry?
15:42Let's see if you're right.
15:45HE SINGS IN GERMAN
15:47SCREAMS
15:53SCREAMS
15:55CRASH
15:59SCREAMS
16:03CRASH
16:05SCREAMS
16:07SCREAMS
16:11SCREAMS
16:13CRASH
16:16LAUGHTER
16:18CRASH
16:21Wow. There we go.
16:23Oh, my God. That's bizarre.
16:25Respect.
16:27It's like a Hollywood movie.
16:29That is the best scene of anything I've ever seen.
16:32LAUGHTER
16:34And what I said about them not having the budget...
16:36LAUGHTER
16:38I feel like they spent the budget that day
16:40and ever since then, they've been trying to pay it off.
16:43Did you check out the slow-mo, though?
16:45Oh, yeah, when he fell. That was good when he fell.
16:48It was good, wasn't it?
16:50Did we get it? No.
16:52LAUGHTER
16:55It was such a good scene, I forgot what I'd said.
16:58LAUGHTER
17:00Oh, yeah, I can confirm you were wrong, I'm afraid.
17:03Yes, the woman you saw there was Emma Barton.
17:06She accidentally pushed her husband off the bridge.
17:08She didn't accidentally push!
17:10Come on, Rob!
17:12We all saw it!
17:14LAUGHTER
17:16You're not representing her in court, Rob!
17:18My client, Miss Barton.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:22OK, yeah, so he landed on the singing vicar's car,
17:24causing a never-ending pile-up involving roughly 90% of the cast.
17:27So good. Hard luck, no point for you there.
17:30OK, here's your next clip.
17:31To give you a bit of context,
17:32Emmerdale does things a bit differently.
17:34So for some reason, the woman you're about to see
17:37is in a mirror maze at a wedding.
17:39LAUGHTER
17:42Here she is.
17:43Pollard, you are a fine figure of a woman.
17:48Why, thank you, Val. Val, Val, Val.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:56Eric?
17:58Oh, Eric.
18:00I'm here.
18:02I'm ready.
18:04Come hither, my little love weasel.
18:07LAUGHTER
18:09Oh!
18:11So, that's Val enjoying a mirror maze at a wedding, like we all do.
18:15Now, a bit of background on Val for you.
18:17She had a storyline where she contracted HIV
18:20and gave herself the nickname H-I-Val.
18:23LAUGHTER
18:28She's good.
18:29Anyway, so, what do you think happens next?
18:32And the options are...
18:43It's got to be that.
18:44Yeah, probably.
18:45Based on the last one, it's that, isn't it?
18:47OK.
18:48The other options are...
18:58What the hell's going on?
18:59LAUGHTER
19:02Or C, Christopher Biggins appears in the mirror maze...
19:05Yes, it's that one.
19:06..giving Val such a shock that she has a heart attack
19:09and dies in the arms of a shell-shocked Biggins.
19:12No, that's not it.
19:13That can't be right.
19:14No way.
19:15So, is it Chopper Tank or Biggins?
19:17LAUGHTER
19:18Could we... Could I...
19:19Sorry, could we cancel the rest of the show
19:21and just play these clips all day?
19:23Right, what are you thinking?
19:24Gosh, this is so hard, isn't it?
19:26What one do we want it to be, Ice Cube?
19:28I mean, I'd love Christopher Biggins.
19:30He's the most famous one out of all of them.
19:32Yeah, that's very true. To be honest.
19:34Do you think we should go big?
19:35I'm thinking Tank, you know what I mean?
19:37Do you not think a helicopter crashes into the mirror maze,
19:40leaving Val skewered by...
19:43I think it's that one.
19:44Her name's H-I-Val.
19:46LAUGHTER
19:48I think it's A.
19:49I want my team to be on that one.
19:51I was drawn to A.
19:52I mean, I was drawn to A.
19:53I think we'll go for A.
19:54A, OK.
19:55It's a helicopter.
19:56You think a helicopter crashes into the mirror maze
19:58leaving Val skewered on glass.
20:00Let's see if you're right.
20:20I'm H-I-Val.
20:22LAUGHTER
20:24I'm the repairman of the Valerie Pollard Foundation.
20:32I'm Val.
20:34LAUGHTER
20:36Yes, you were right. Well done.
20:38I can't believe that's right.
20:41Yes, the answer was A.
20:43Poor H-I-Val was trapped in the mirror maze
20:46and then killed by a falling shard of glass.
20:48RIP.
20:50Well done, Alison Sim. You get a point.
20:53APPLAUSE
20:55OK, the end of that round.
20:57Alison's team have one point, but Josh's team have four.
21:00Oh, no!
21:02Smashing it.
21:03We're bringing this back.
21:05Our next round is the Showdown,
21:07a round all about our favourite TV shows.
21:09Yes, in this round, I'll be testing them on their TV obsession.
21:13It's the captain's job to select the team member
21:15they have the most faith in to take on the entire other team
21:18in their specialist subject.
21:20I'm going to ask you to choose one of your teammates
21:22to take on all three of Josh's team.
21:25So you've got to be really confident in who you choose.
21:28Oh, I'm really confident. I'm so confident, Rob.
21:30OK, who are you going to go for?
21:32I'm going to go for the one and only Tom.
21:34Ooh!
21:36OK.
21:38What's your specialist subject, Tom?
21:40Er, it's Downton Abbey.
21:42Oh! OK.
21:44How do you feel about Downton Abbey, team?
21:46I've never seen it. I've never seen it.
21:49Have you seen it, Steve?
21:51I've seen series one.
21:53And you gave up.
21:55Oh!
21:57OK, well, Tom and Josh's team,
21:59please make your way over to the uncomfortably close seating area.
22:02You've got this, Tom.
22:04Come on, Tom. Good luck, guys.
22:06Pemberton's in, Allen's in, Widdicombe's in,
22:09Joan's arriving.
22:11OK.
22:13Hiya! Hello!
22:16The questions will be asked in a penalty shoot-out style,
22:19with the specialist going first.
22:21OK, make yourselves incredibly uncomfortable.
22:23Here we go. I don't know what a penalty shoot-out is.
22:26You're about to find out.
22:28Tom, you get to go first.
22:30Here's your question.
22:32Complete this quote from Violet Crawley,
22:36The Dowager... Is that right, Tom?
22:38Yeah, The Dowager Countess.
22:40The Dowager Countess of Grantham.
22:42Of Grantham, yes.
22:44Don't be defeatist, dear, it's what?
22:47Frightfully working class?
22:51That is incorrect.
22:53Oh!
22:55It's don't be defeatist, dear, it's very middle class.
22:58Oh!
23:00Oh, that was close, though. That was close.
23:02Very good.
23:04Josh's team, here's your first question.
23:06Lady Sybil causes a stir when she comes down to dinner,
23:10wearing what item of clothing?
23:12A shell suit.
23:14No!
23:16You gasped like you might have...
23:18Well, I was thinking maybe a negligee.
23:20To dinner?
23:22Well, exactly.
23:24OK.
23:26I didn't know you were in the same team.
23:29OK, so what do you think Lady Sybil was wearing to dinner?
23:33Dressing gown. Dressing gown.
23:35She's not feeling that well.
23:37That is incorrect.
23:39Tom, you don't get the point, but do you want to show off?
23:41I think it's a pair of trousers.
23:43You are correct. Oh!
23:45Tom, how does Lady Mary cause the untimely death
23:49of a visiting diplomat?
23:52Well, it's sort of a funny one, really.
23:54Mr Pamuk.
23:56LAUGHTER
23:59OK.
24:01She sort of shags him to death.
24:04No!
24:06Your answer is she shagged him to death.
24:08Heart attack. Heart attack, mid-shagging.
24:10I've never experienced that. Alex, have you shagged someone to death before?
24:13Yes!
24:15That is correct.
24:17Yes, Tom!
24:19Well done!
24:21Josh, here you go.
24:23Your team's question.
24:25In the first episode set in the early 20th century,
24:27the heir to Downton Abbey perishes in what famous disaster?
24:31Titanic's 1912, is it? Something like that.
24:35Wasn't it not a war?
24:37Doesn't even call a war a disaster. I mean...
24:39All right, Tony Blair, calm down!
24:41LAUGHTER
24:43What are you going to go for? I need an answer, please.
24:45Yeah, all right, go with your gut.
24:47Titanic. Titanic.
24:49That is the correct answer. Yes!
24:51Well done. 1-1.
24:53Come on, Tom. Tom, your next question.
24:55What terrible faux pas does the Earl of Grantham commit
24:58whilst hosting future Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain for dinner?
25:02His gastric ulcer explodes all over him.
25:05Oh, yuck!
25:07Correct. Well done, Tom.
25:11Listen to door level, Josh.
25:13Complete this line from the Dowger Countess Violet Crawley.
25:17Seems a pity to miss such a good what?
25:20Such a good argument or something. Oh, that's nice.
25:23I think there'd be an irony to it, wouldn't there? Yeah.
25:26I need an answer. Well, there's a car crash.
25:28That wouldn't be the line, would it?
25:30Seems a pity to miss such a good car crash.
25:33It's cos she forgot to record Emmerdale.
25:36Let's... I think... I think argument is good, yeah.
25:40OK, that is incorrect.
25:42Seems a pity to miss such a good... Tom, do you know?
25:45Funeral. Pudding, of course.
25:48Now, Tom, here's another one for you.
25:50What flower shares its name with Lady Edith's secret illegitimate child?
25:56Marigold. Correct.
25:58Oh, he's good. Just like that.
26:003-1 to Tom.
26:02Oh, we're on the road.
26:05Josh's team, you need to get this one right to stay in the game.
26:08What's the name of the family dog falsely rumoured
26:11to have been killed off because of their unfortunate name?
26:15Splat. Splat?!
26:17Lucky.
26:19Oh, Lucky's quite good. Lucky?
26:21I think Lucky's good. That's good thinking.
26:23Yeah, I think we'll go Lucky.
26:25I mean, it's infinite. That's an excellent answer.
26:28Yeah. Incorrect. Tom, do you know?
26:31Isis. It is Isis.
26:34Congratulations, Tom Allen!
26:38Make your way back to the seats.
26:42So the dog was called Isis.
26:44Oh, and then they... Oh, and then he...
26:46Oh, because of what happened in...
26:48In the show, they just basically got rid of the dog slowly
26:50when Isis was becoming more familiar. Fine.
26:52But what about the cats, Bin and Laden?
26:54LAUGHTER
26:56So, at the end of that round, both teams have four points.
26:59Oh, my gosh!
27:01Neck and neck!
27:04OK, it's time for a quick break. See you in a bit.
27:20Hello and welcome back to Rob Beckett's Smart TV.
27:23Next up is a round called Life Stories
27:25where we take a look into the bonkers backstories
27:27of some of TV's most famous faces.
27:29I'll ask you a question and then show you
27:31a load of famous personalities, both fictional and real,
27:34and then you'll need to decide who tops the list.
27:37Right, here is your question.
27:39Who has been arrested the most times?
27:42We've got Blue Rinsemilf, Marge Simpson,
27:44Moved Mafia Man, Tony Soprano,
27:46Flammable Nan, Dot Cotton
27:48and your old leather jacket, David Dickinson.
27:51Oh, it's an interesting one. Yes.
27:53Anyone here been in trouble with the law?
27:55Just a bit, yeah. Yeah? Bit of a bad boy, ain't you?
27:58When I was a student, I stole a bed from my flatmate.
28:02Someone had a bed in their garden
28:04and it was, like, 3am and we were drunk and wacky.
28:07So we thought, we'll just take that home with us.
28:09So you call it wacky, yeah? Yeah.
28:12And we started pushing it down the road
28:14and then two police people turned up.
28:16They said, can I have your name?
28:18And I said, yeah, and gave my name. Rob Beckett.
28:23And then they just told me to take the bed back
28:25to where we'd found it. Right, yeah.
28:27And you did? Of course I fucking didn't.
28:31I said, anyone smell bacon? Bang, bang.
28:37It was like Emmerdale by the end of it.
28:42OK, now, Josh's team, what do you reckon?
28:44Do you know much about this lot?
28:46I know that Dickinson had a criminal record,
28:48cos I remember it coming out.
28:50But the thing is, so,
28:52but he would have a criminal record in real life.
28:55David Dickinson? Cos he's not...
28:57Yeah, no, but we're comparing the characters to...
28:59Oh, fine. Yeah, it's not about Marge Simpson
29:01when she's not on The Simpsons.
29:09There's more episodes of The Simpsons,
29:11more opportunities for her to have been arrested.
29:14She'll have been arrested loads of times, Marge Simpson.
29:17God, I find her so annoying. Do you? Yeah.
29:19Do you, Marge? I hate her.
29:22No, you've said it, she's a bit annoying.
29:24Do you like The Simpsons generally? No.
29:26Oh, right. He gets on my nerves as well.
29:31Alison's team, any thoughts on these guys?
29:33I know you love The Sopranos, Tom.
29:35It's too blokey.
29:37It's like Frank Sinatra, wasn't a great singer.
29:40Blokes love him, though, don't they?
29:42Yeah, but Tony, he's in the Mafia,
29:44he would have been arrested a couple of times.
29:46They wouldn't put him there next to Doc Cotton.
29:50Well, she had a son who was a ronger. Yeah.
29:53And I reckon she would have taken the blame for it.
29:55She loved him so much. She did, though.
29:57Did she? I watched that. Did she get arrested? Yeah.
29:59So, I tell you what, you've had a bit of time to think.
30:01I want you to lock in those answers, pick your paddle,
30:04but don't show us just yet.
30:06I'll tell you when to reveal the answers.
30:08I don't think Bobby's lying. He's not.
30:10I know he's been on TV. Loads for her,
30:12because she's been on TV for 400 years.
30:14OK, are we ready? Yeah.
30:16I want you to hold up the famous face of who you think
30:19has been arrested the most times.
30:21OK, I want to see your answers now.
30:25Oh, this is a... Oh!
30:27Double Marge Simpson.
30:29This is your worst nightmare, Alex. I know.
30:31Why did you go for Marge?
30:33I remember she got arrested. She got arrested for stealing liquor.
30:36Right. Yeah, yeah. She put it in her coat.
30:39So, that's one...
30:40There's one where she, like, has a breakdown in a car
30:43and she causes a load of traffic to pile up.
30:45There's quite a few. Yeah.
30:47We just thought Tony Soprano, too obvious. Yeah.
30:49He's her Mafia boss. Well, they don't get caught.
30:51Isn't that the wonder of them? No. Yes.
30:54And then...
30:55Maybe Doc Otten once,
30:57but she wouldn't be in and out of a slammer every week.
30:59OK, let's look at the leaderboard and see if you're right.
31:02Let's start with Tony Soprano.
31:04He was surprisingly only arrested twice.
31:06Once on a weapons charge and once for airline ticket fraud.
31:10Not that impressive for a gangster, is it? Interesting.
31:12He goes straight to the top of the leaderboard.
31:14But for how long?
31:15Next up is Doc Otten.
31:17Surprisingly, Dot has been arrested an impressive four times.
31:20Wow. Including for smacking her granddaughter,
31:22shoplifting and murder.
31:26What?!
31:27So, she goes to the top of the leaderboard.
31:29But for how long?
31:31Tricky Dicky up next.
31:33Has David Dickinson been arrested more than four times?
31:36Of course he hasn't.
31:37He's only been arrested once.
31:39When he was 19, he was arrested for a mail-order clothing scam
31:43and he served three years in prison.
31:46Wow.
31:47He goes to the bottom of the leaderboard.
31:49Finally, we have Marge.
31:50Can she knock Dot off the top spot?
31:52Here we go.
31:53She can.
31:54Marge has been arrested a massive ten times.
31:57Wow.
31:58Including leaving bar unsupervised,
32:00selling prescription drugs, drink-driving,
32:02shoplifting and murder.
32:05What a legend.
32:06She goes straight to the top of the leaderboard
32:08and gets points for both teams.
32:10Yay!
32:12Well done.
32:15So, at the end of that round, both teams have five points.
32:18Wow.
32:22It's nearly the end of the show, but like all good TV,
32:25we've got time for a final nail-biting cliffhanger.
32:27It's happy endings.
32:29I'm going to ask you some quickfire questions about TV endings.
32:32Both teams need to answer as many as possible
32:34before the time runs out.
32:36It's a buzzer round. Let's hear those buzzers again.
32:38Alison.
32:39Oh!
32:40Josh.
32:41What's occurring?
32:42OK, teams, there's everything to play for.
32:45You've got until you hear this...
32:51..to answer as many questions as you can.
32:53Are we ready? Yeah. Let's go.
32:57In Ted Lasso, what football club does Nate go to
33:00at the end of season two?
33:01Oh!
33:02West Ham. Correct.
33:03At the end of Mashing Potatoes for a brown butter,
33:06Cole Cannon, Nigella Lawson added milk heated in what appliance?
33:09Oh!
33:10What is the last name of the fanny who made Bradley Walsh cry on the chase?
33:14Oh!
33:15Fanny Schmello. Correct.
33:17Which supernatural TV show ended with the entire town sinking into a crater?
33:22What's occurring?
33:23Buffy? Correct.
33:24Which classic comedy series ended with the episode Basil the Rat?
33:28What's occurring?
33:29Fawlty Towers. Correct.
33:30Who ended his chat show with a sign-off,
33:32until next time, take care of yourself?
33:34Jerry Springer. Correct.
33:35In Top Boy, who ends Layton's life by shooting him in the...
33:38Oh!
33:39That is...
33:41Ah!
33:42Shelley.
33:43No, incorrect, Farrah.
33:45Fucking Farrah!
33:47You were in it, mate!
33:48You were in it!
33:49She called me!
33:50OK.
33:51Can you imagine?
33:52Last gasp, last night of the proms,
33:54and the last weekend...
33:55What's occurring?
33:56...are episodes from...
33:57Inside Number Nine. Correct.
33:58Oh, hang on, can you ask me about one of the shows I've been in?
34:02What's this scene tuned to?
34:04You print it.
34:05Oh, you're fired.
34:06LAUGHTER
34:08That's the end of the show, time's up.
34:11Let's have a look at the final scores.
34:13And I can tell you that...
34:15Alison's team are the winners!
34:17CHEERING
34:19Yes!
34:20Well done, Alison.
34:22Absolutely amazing.
34:23Well done.
34:24Farrah, Josh's team, well done, Alison's team.
34:27I was so close!
34:28OK, thanks so much to all our guests
34:30and thank you for watching. Good night!
34:32APPLAUSE
34:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:06ELECTRONIC MUSIC