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00:30Hello and welcome to Last One Laughing, the show where ten comedians have to make each
00:41other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves. It's a shame I'm not competing on the show
00:46really because there's actual online petitions asking me to stop laughing. I get it, it is
00:53annoying. Our comedians will spend six hours together in this room, so let me show you
00:58around. That's the performance area and the sofas. There's a kitchenette. Those are some
01:03horses. Look, I'm not an estate agent, you're not buying it. Let's crack on. This isn't
01:09going to be easy for our contestants because not hearing laughter when you're a comedian
01:13is like, well, it's like being a shit comedian. Whilst our comedians are playing the game,
01:21I'll be watching it all unfold in the control room. On these screens, I'll be able to see
01:25everything and over there is what they're competing for, the Last One Laughing trophy.
01:31Piece of shit. Now, to help me keep an eye on all these cameras and because I can't bear
01:35to be alone with my own thoughts, I've invited a special guest to watch with me, my friend
01:40Roisin Conaty. There she is. Timothy. What do you think? I knew you'd have about a thousand
01:45tellies. All right. Think of this, Roisin, as our audition for Gogglebox. We're just
01:52watching telly. We're like hunting laughers. We are. We're looking for laughs. All right,
01:57time to meet our players. First one in, it's Rob Beckett, one of my favourite comics. Rob
02:03hosts a very successful parenting podcast. Fun fact, he only does it so he can get an
02:07hour off from the kids. Oh, here we go. Who would I hate to see in the house? My ex? Locker
02:21room. Is he allowed to smile now? Until we start the game, they're all allowed to smile.
02:24Maybe he needs to get all his smiles out. Someone needs to tell him. Okay. So I'll just
02:30wait here for a bit then. None of our comedians know who else is taking part, so as they enter,
02:34they're finding out who they're up against. Right, time for our second player. It's Daisy
02:39May Cooper. Oh, my God, she is so funny. I am terrible at keeping a straight face. I'm
02:48just the worst. It's like asking a fish not to swim. Oh, hello. Oh, my darling. How are
02:56you? Good. I'm good. You can smile, can't we now? Yeah, we're that way right now. It's
03:02just when the game starts. Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Well, I'm not glad you're here,
03:05actually. Okay, well, you took that compliment back quick. There's a locker room for you to
03:10put your suitcase in. Right, okay. I mean, I've literally been here for about 20 seconds,
03:14but I feel like I should show you around. Okay, next to go in, it's Richard Ayoade.
03:18Comedian, actor, writer, director, Richard is going to be the man to beat. With regards
03:24keeping a straight face, I haven't, I think, laughed properly since the 90s.
03:34Oh, darling, thank you. Thank you very much. Come here. You all right? What's this? Oh,
03:41this is lovely. I took flowers, and I thought, this is a way of keeping people at a distance.
03:49I've noticed the young like to hug, which I view as an assault. How are you? Good. You all right?
03:55I'm all right. We were going to jump out on you, but I didn't like it. Okay, yeah,
03:58that would have been hostile. All right, next in, it's Sarah Pascoe. Oh, my gosh. Oh,
04:04my darling. Sarah is a brilliant comedian and a vegan, so she puts the funny in funny tummy.
04:11This is exciting. Oh, it's Sarah Pascoe. That felt really emotional, like I was going to burst
04:17into tears. Richard, hello. She's a big laugher, Sarah. She is a big laugher, yeah. There's a
04:22locker room at the back. Do you want me to show you where that goes? Thank you. Rob's showing
04:25around. I love it. He's gone into full dad mode. Okay, next, it's Joe Wilkinson. I don't think I'll
04:33make any of my peers laugh, and I only know this because they inform me. I've never seen him out
04:40of his brown suit. I didn't realise he had other shitty clothes. Oh, it's Joe Wilkinson.
04:48Oh, fuck. Yeah, this makes sense. I'm out first. Not for me, thank you.
04:52He's started already. He's doing business. Oh, this is a funny, funny lot. Do I get a hug?
04:57Oh, that's lovely. Back off. All right, next in, it's Harriet Kemsley. Brilliant up and coming
05:04comic. Oh, this is crazy. I still don't have a surefire way of making people laugh. Ask the
05:10people of Middlesbrough. I did a gig there. If they are in the house, they would be really good
05:15at not laughing. Thank you so much. Thank you. Rob's really good at showing you where to put
05:25your case. Oh, thank you, Rob. Are you going to show me around? I didn't want the luggage to pile
05:29up. I basically got caught in that. I thought, you know what? In for a penny, in for a pound.
05:34I'm the locker guy. There's a locker in this way, Harriet. Oh, hang on. Rob's on it. Are you good
05:39at not laughing? No, not really. But also, I smile a lot, the way my face falls. That's mine as well.
05:45Some people have very angry expressions, but mine's just like gormless. I think I'm just going
05:48to try and get as depressed as possible. Yes, yes. I'm just going to think about the Me Too movement.
05:54Okay, next to go in, it's Judy Love. Oh, no. Stand-up comic, loose woman,
05:58and also, she appears on Loose Women. This is nice. Hello.
06:09I've always wanted to meet you in person. You still haven't. Oh, my gosh. How are you? I'm so, so.
06:15Hello. I'm expecting a hug. No. What do you mean, no? I don't think intimacy should be accelerated.
06:21Who said it was going to be intimacy? You see where your mind took you? You better calm down.
06:26Let's see who's next. It's Joe Lycett. Oh, what? He's a BAFTA winner and host of Late Night Lycett.
06:34Incredible. I think I'm fucked because I find things not being allowed to be funny really funny.
06:43Hello, you bastards. Oh, dear. This is a problem.
06:48Hello. Oh, gosh. You're going to kill me. You're going to kill me. Next in, it's Lou Saunders.
06:56Lou has a spiritual guru, uses crystals, and is walking the wrong way. It's the wrong way.
07:02The other way. The other way up. I think that went well.
07:11Thank you. Just one. Thank you. Thank you. Lou Lee's here. If people are being funny around me,
07:20I'm gonna just close my eyes and think of my fertility report. Last in, lock up your nannas.
07:27It's legendary Bob Mortimer. Wow. Everyone from our generation has been influenced by Bob.
07:33He's so funny. He's so brilliant. Hi, folks. Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much. The only thing
07:46I can think of guaranteed to get a laugh is one of these. You know, it's old-fashioned.
07:53If you get your timing right, it can be devastating.
07:56You don't laugh so much, do you? I don't laugh a lot, but you are a problem, as you know.
08:01All right, well, that's all 10 players. Time to start the game. It's exciting, isn't it? All right,
08:05here it goes. What a lineup. I mean, if this 10 can't make you laugh, you are dead inside. Doors.
08:13Oh, who is it now? He's alive. He lives. Please, come join me on the sofas. Hello, everyone.
08:23Hello. Hello. Now, over there on the sofas, here are the rules. For the next six hours,
08:28you have to make each other laugh. You are not allowed to laugh. You're not allowed to giggle.
08:34You're not allowed to smile. I'm going to be watching everything in the control room,
08:38and don't even bother trying to hide a laugh. Do you look into what motivated the smile? Yes,
08:43we do look into that. That's all I wanted to know. But smiling, come on. Smiling's like,
08:50it's polite. No, okay. No, no. No, we just heard. Yeah, no, we're going to change the
08:54rules now. Can you say that? What, is this class is a smile? Yeah, what is smile? Yeah,
08:59smile. What is a smile? Yeah, we need to define it. Jesus wept. I'm enjoying this.
09:05So, when's our normal teacher back? Oh, I would not last five minutes with you lot.
09:14All right, if you laugh at any point, you get a yellow card. If you laugh twice,
09:20you get a red card. You're out of the game. You've got to come and sit with me.
09:29Pretty worth digging in, innit? Yeah. Okay, you'll be doing everything you can to knock
09:33each other out of the game. I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeve as well.
09:37The game starts when you hear this noise.
09:39So, no laughing from that point. If you hear this noise,
09:45it means the game is paused. And while the game is paused, you can laugh. And can we develop photos?
09:54Okay, the last player remaining is the winner and they receive the coveted last one laughing
09:59trophy. Here's a small prize. The winner of the last game is the winner of the last game.
10:04The last player remaining is the winner and they receive the coveted last one laughing trophy.
10:08Here's a small print. I've reserved the right to change the rules as and when I see fit. Terms
10:12and conditions apply. Your home may be at risk if you don't keep up repayments. What? Okay,
10:17does everyone understand the rules? Yes. All right. Well, good luck everyone. I'll start the game.
10:21Want to go through? Doors. Wow. Look at that. I want that kind of power. He looks like AI,
10:31like he just walked. He does, doesn't he? Thunderbird. Right. I'm so excited. That walk
10:37didn't even seem real. Shall we? Yes. All right. Okay, the game starts now.
10:46Last one to laugh wins. That's it, we're in play.
10:53Shall we make a coffee? Tea. I feel like I can't move my body. If everyone's going,
10:59I might stay still for a bit. Shall we talk about something incredibly mundane? Yeah.
11:14Your kitchen. That's just his teeth. We can't knock him out for that. That's
11:18just the shape of his face. You've got a kitchen island. I think I need a moment.
11:24What? Yes.
11:36Look, well, that's a smirk. I don't mind a smirk. Smirks are lubes for laughs. Smirks are lubes
11:43for laughs. Why is everyone walking around as well? I think to get rid of energy or something,
11:49you know? One thing that I do a lot to sort of distract myself is sort of move.
11:57So I'll just sort of, I'll have to kind of pace or sort of do that thing with your legs where you
12:01just kind of go like that. I'm trying to get energy out, you know? Well, don't do that. I'm
12:05going to try and exhaust myself. Are you exhausted yet? No. I actually find it incredibly easy.
12:12You all right, Bob, yeah? Yeah. My friend has got a little sausage dog. Bobby, the sausage dog.
12:19I like sausage dogs with those tiny legs. Okay, I'm going to have to head off. Because I think
12:24it's really out of order, but I'm allergic to cats. I started talking about sausage dogs and...
12:30They're quite funny, aren't they? Bob mentioned the little legs and I had to go.
12:35You feel really rude though, don't you? Get up and go. Did you watch Joe jog?
12:43Yeah, I've never seen him move like that. Difficult watch, isn't it?
12:48Richard, what are your hobbies? What do you enjoy doing? That's a kind question. Probably
12:53playing guitar. Now, I know what you're thinking. Could I become any more interesting? Do you have
12:59hobbies? Not particularly. I used to play a lot of PS5. Okay. Have you ever played any of them?
13:06I've never played a video game. Really? Yeah. Not even a Game Boy? No, because that's a video game.
13:14Sega Mega Drive? A game is a video game. Oh my goodness. So what did you do growing up?
13:19I don't know. I cried a lot.
13:25That's not smiling. I'm trying to hold my face down, but that's not showing.
13:29No, don't do that for everyone else. No, no, no. Because he doing that is not... Christ.
13:37Look at the size of that. There's more mouth. There's just more opportunity for it to move. Door. No. Is he shouting door?
13:47That wasn't a voice recognition. I saw the labourers behind those doors that are part of Jimmy's team.
13:52They go with him everywhere and I wanted to see whether they knew his particular hollowed-out
13:57voice or whether it would apply with anyone. Door. Richard, don't. I just can't believe Richard
14:04can run. I don't know. It just doesn't... I'm picturing out jogging. I feel like his body's
14:11only capable of sort of this. It's the silence I can't deal with. If I keep talking then maybe
14:16that'll help. It's the waiting for someone else to talk's the problem and proximity I find.
14:22So I don't like this. Don't do that. See? It's horrible, isn't it? Are you dating at the minute?
14:31No. I feel like I'm in an era of like wanting to be single in power. Have you been on Raya yet?
14:38No, I haven't been on Raya. Did you ever go on Raya? I did go on Raya, but there were like
14:44like art department people on there. Oh my god.
14:49I'd like to take this moment to apologize to our art department who've done a wonderful job.
14:53That's the dream to get someone to the art department. I had nothing. Like absolutely nothing.
14:58Dry.
15:03Sarah. Sarah's gone. All right, come on.
15:07Oh no. So what does this mean now? Someone's laughed. Someone's laughed. Yeah.
15:13I mean they're literally not taking this seriously enough. Doors. Oh no, Jimmy Carr's here.
15:18But now we are allowed to laugh. Jimmy Carr's here. We can laugh and smile now, can we? Can't we?
15:23You can laugh and smile now, but you've been in here five minutes. Someone's already laughed. Who
15:28the hell did that? If 10 comedians are in a room and no one smiled, it's really quite sad. Yeah,
15:33it would be sad. This is our job actually, Jimmy. Okay, let's have a look at the action replay.
15:37I think it's me. Who's guilty of laughing? Not me. Did you go for go on Raya? I did go on Raya,
15:44but there were like art department people on there. Like absolutely nothing. Dry.
15:53No, I know, I know, I know. It's Judy. Judy? Are you blaming Judy? Judy's too funny.
16:00It made me laugh. What? What did that say? I love you all so much, but you're making me so
16:04fucking funny. I'm going to restart the game. Doors. Sarah Pascal. That's a very early laugh.
16:13She needs to up her game. So it's the first yellow card for Sarah, and my advice for her,
16:19I don't want to sound patronising, but try not to laugh. Okay, let's restart the game. Oh, shit.
16:25Oh, God. Richard, do you want the details of my healer? Because... What do they heal? The details
16:38of your healer? Yeah. As in, are you just going to describe the healer, or are you going to give
16:42me a contact? They're on Zoom. Okay. They're being on Zoom is not a USP. I'm on Zoom. I mean,
16:49anyone can be on Zoom. The only person that's trying to actively catch up with Richard Ayoade,
16:54he's got, like, an armour of defence. This game is, like, brilliant for him.
16:59My friend works for Metrorail, and she's... No, tell me more about this person you know
17:04who has access to Zoom. She knows someone who can get on Zoom. I think this is a very good
17:12technique from Blue Sanders. She's running away from Richard Ayoade. It's a compassionate,
17:17empathetic thing to laugh. I cannot hang out with Richard. He's a nightmare. I think he's
17:23the one to take out, but I don't think he would ever laugh at anything. I think if I died,
17:28he might laugh. Do you know what you have to do? Get his guard down. Get his guard. Get his guard
17:35down and talk to him about something quite normal. Daisy May Cooper is being pretty quiet
17:41over there. Do you know what? I think we should get her to play her Joker. What does that mean?
17:45When they play their Joker, they've got to do a little performance, and everyone has to watch.
17:50Let's go.
17:54Joe likes it speaking. Hi, Joe. I would like, however, to speak to Daisy May Cooper. Daisy?
18:02Oh, what is it? Hello? Oh, hi, Daisy. I was wondering if you could play your Joker.
18:09OK. Go and prepare. Thank you. She's going to make herself laugh. That's the real danger.
18:18She's BAFTA. She'll be able to hold her nerve. She is not to be messed with.
18:26Oh, it's a show. Oh, OK. OK, what's happening here? If everybody could gather round. We all
18:33love British roller coasters, and we're just going to guess whether the reenactment of this
18:40roller coaster that I'm about to do is either the Dragon Ride at Legoland... Yeah. ..or Nemesis
18:48at Alton Towers. Oh, great. OK. Do you know that one? Nemesis starts slow and then it's a big drop.
18:54Yeah. I am a trained actor, so I think I'm going to pull on all of those skills
19:00and go quite method with this. OK. Are you ready, everybody? Yeah.
19:25This is OK, this one.
19:30WHIRRING
19:32Look at her face.
19:34WHIRRING
19:40Oh, wow.
19:44Jesus Christ.
19:46This is very difficult not to laugh, Daisy. It's a very good bit. I'm struggling here, Daisy. I just want to let you know. Yeah.
19:52WHIRRING
19:54Oh.
19:56WHIRRING
20:00Joe Wilkinson's going to go.
20:02WHIRRING
20:12LAUGHTER
20:14WHIRRING
20:22I can't look her face. Look at Beckett.
20:24WHIRRING
20:30WHIRRING
20:32That feels Nemesis to me. Reminds me more of OnlyFans than Nemesis.
20:36Oh, no, she's going to be sick. She's going to be sick. OK. Shall I get a bucket?
20:40Don't be sick. Please don't be sick. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. Sorry. I do feel a bit sick, yeah.
20:46At the moment, all I've got's a colander, but that's not going to help, is it?
20:50So they survived it. Well done, Daisy Mae. That was brilliant.
20:54Rob, I love to see your sensitive side. Yes, you're being very sensitive.
20:58If you're near a bucket and someone's being sick, what am I, a monster?
21:02Great. Fantastic. Well done. Well done.
21:04Put your hands up if you thought it was The Dragon Ride.
21:08No. No.
21:10So who thought Nemesis? Nemesis.
21:12Did you get a prize? I thought Nemesis, yeah. Oh, great.
21:15Take one. You can keep that.
21:17What is it? I managed to get through that literally by playing it as a game.
21:21And it was an exceptional performance of what it's like to be on Nemesis.
21:26You want a higher-resolution image if you're going to sell these.
21:29Dragon Ride or Nemesis? Dragon Ride.
21:32Was I wrong? You were wrong.
21:34I didn't get a key ring, but I took Harriet's,
21:38because, I'll be honest, she was the smallest there.
21:44BEEPING
21:48I think of you as Rob Beckett.
21:50When I think of you, I never think of you as just Rob.
21:54Let's go. Rob Beckett.
21:56You think of me as Rob Beckett rather than just Rob.
21:58Don't want to be Rob, like Madonna or, you know, a mononym.
22:02Is that what it's called, a mononym?
22:04Do you have a middle name, Anthony?
22:06No, you're wise not to use that one.
22:08If you were doing stand-up,
22:10would you ever have Rob as the backdrop and jump through the O?
22:14No. I'd have Rob Beckett, not the O.
22:18I didn't like you jumping. Why not?
22:21I've never seen you move that quick.
22:23Everyone's walking away from me. It's like being back at school.
22:26Everyone wants to leave a conversation with me,
22:28but you can't just do it.
22:30It's not right if you're saying,
22:32I'm going to leave this conversation.
22:34I'm free to follow you and I'm free to hunt you down.
22:36I feel like we have a spiritual connection.
22:38I just feel like you've got a good aura,
22:40and I do feel like I've got a good aura.
22:42You spend a lot of money on that, though.
22:44I hold my hands up high, but I do spend a lot of money on spiritual clearing.
22:47How much do you spend on it?
22:50He does walk away from me.
22:52He does have to walk away, yeah.
22:57The fruit machine is now available for inspiration.
23:00Just pull the lever and follow the prompts.
23:08Secret celebrity crush. Uh-oh, everyone's going to say me.
23:12Secret celebrity crush.
23:14Boudicca. Richard.
23:16I don't even know who Boudicca is.
23:18You don't know who Boudicca is?
23:20I call her Boudicca. Say her name.
23:22Boudicca. Who is Boudicca?
23:24She was a registrant of Essex, the Iceni tribe.
23:27Her husband died, and then the Romans tried to take control.
23:30So this is when?
23:32You know, BC.
23:34Is it meant to generate conversation?
23:37Yeah. Do you know what is really awkward
23:39when you say something really loud to the room?
23:41Don't laugh. But when you say something
23:43and you wiggle your little tush and no one laughs,
23:45it's so awkward.
23:48Oh, you bastard.
23:54Joe, cos he's got that beard.
23:56He's got a laugh shield.
23:58No beards next time.
24:00Have you got a defence? Have you got a thing
24:02to stop you giggling?
24:04What is going on here, then?
24:06What are you talking about?
24:08Cos all I saw was Bob putting a finger
24:10in his mouth seductively.
24:12I've got entirely implanted teeth.
24:14Have you? Really?
24:16Apart from the mucky ones.
24:18I was going to say...
24:20I was going to say the bottom ones.
24:22That's so good.
24:24Bob just did a big laugh.
24:26There it is.
24:28Oh, God.
24:30What's happening?
24:32Oh, Jesus. Who laughed?
24:34I think that was me.
24:36I think I messed Joe up.
24:38Oh, Jimmy's here.
24:40Someone's in trouble again.
24:42Well, a couple of things.
24:44What we don't want is a five-minute conversation
24:46about Baudissier.
24:48It's not Time Team,
24:50Sarah Pascoe. I'm looking at you.
24:52What?
24:54OK, we've got another card.
24:56You're looking at me. Let's see what happens.
24:58Oh, my God. We are bad at this game.
25:00I've got entirely implanted teeth.
25:02Really?
25:04The top's all...
25:06I was going to say the bottom ones.
25:08Oh, God.
25:10Fair enough.
25:13There's nothing the matter
25:15with having fake teeth.
25:19This is tough.
25:21While I've got you, we've had another laugh.
25:23Two laughs.
25:25That's a Jimmy Carr gig.
25:27Stop it, you. Take a look.
25:29Do you know what is really awkward
25:31when you say something really loud to them and don't laugh?
25:33You wiggle your little tush and no-one laughs.
25:35It's so awkward.
25:37Oh, you bastard.
25:43Oh!
25:45Well, what do you expect?
25:47Lou is a nightmare.
25:49What's that?
25:51Lou is a nightmare.
25:53I'm so sorry.
25:55Lou and Richard Ayoade, very aggressive player, I would say.
25:57But I love Joan.
25:59I'm very sad about this yellow card business.
26:01I'm fuming. OK, I'll go and restart the game.
26:03Door.
26:05Ayoade, get back in there.
26:07He does it so well as well.
26:09Nearly.
26:11Nearly. Nearly.
26:13So, that's three yellow cards already.
26:15I have no idea how we're going to get six shows out of this.
26:17At this rate, it's going to be over by lunchtime.
26:19This is so hard.
26:21Son of a gun.
26:23OK, let's restart.
26:31Who's your celebrity crush?
26:33Theresa May.
26:35Who's yours?
26:37Jimmy.
26:40When he comes...
26:42I can't even look at him when he comes out.
26:44What is it about his body?
26:46It's like a sort of psychopathic thing.
26:50I just think he's really smart
26:52and I think he's a genius.
26:56That was a massive motivation
26:58as to try and stay in the house
27:00for as long as I could
27:02so that I didn't have to sit next to him in the room
27:04because I'd just be blushing.
27:06Just so... Oh, my God, yeah, he's just gorgeous.
27:08BELL RINGS
27:10Is that a break?
27:12OK, everyone.
27:14When the bell rings, gather on the sofas.
27:16Everyone, it's time for a head-to-head challenge.
27:18Joe Lycett, Lou Sanders,
27:20you two seem to be getting on great,
27:22so this should be easy.
27:24You just need to take it in turns
27:26to give each other compliments
27:28and you must maintain eye contact at all times.
27:30No, that's not fair.
27:32The game starts and ends when the bell rings.
27:34So, please, take your seats.
27:36On the stage, everyone else, watch from the sofas.
27:38Good luck, good luck. You're both amazing.
27:40Good luck, Joe. Ready?
27:42We're fucked. Joe, this is...
27:44Oh, don't!
27:46Joe, the shoes are big, mate, I've got to say.
27:48That's really hard to do.
27:50It's physical comedy. I'm just going to get a drink.
27:52They didn't say look each other in the eye.
27:54Did they say look each other in the eye?
27:56BELL RINGS
27:58OK, you must compliment each other
28:00whilst looking each other in the eyes.
28:02The game starts now.
28:05I think you're, um, really funny.
28:07You're like a sunset.
28:09You're full of light.
28:11And I can see you going down on me at 7pm.
28:15Depending on what time of year it is.
28:17Yes, depending on if it's summer or autumn.
28:19You could wait till 8pm.
28:21Oh, my...
28:23If you can hold it.
28:25Have you got a compliment for me?
28:27You're fit as fuck.
28:29Oh, that's lovely.
28:31I'd give you one.
28:33Can't hear you.
28:35You're like a flower
28:37in that you're full of yeast
28:39because you went down on me at 7pm.
28:43That's really beautiful.
28:45I've learnt a lot from you.
28:47One of the things I learnt from you
28:49is that you don't need to chop vegetables
28:51because when I stayed with you once
28:53I just watched you tear a pepper apart
28:55with your fists
28:57and put it into a...
28:59I think it was like some sort of casserole
29:02and I thought, do you know what?
29:04Why not?
29:06Who needs things to be neatly sliced?
29:12Do you know what I learnt from you?
29:16Oh, the casserole got your tongue, has it?
29:20You could do a shit so big
29:22that my boyfriend at the time...
29:28You fucker.
29:30I know some people love...
29:32Dawson.
29:34Oh, God.
29:36That's a lovely welcome.
29:38Don't look at me like that.
29:40We've had another yellow card.
29:42A yellow card.
29:44Let's have a look.
29:46You could do a shit so big
29:48that my boyfriend at the time...
29:52I was crying.
29:54I'm upset.
29:56You bastard.
29:58OK, so...
30:00We've got another yellow card.
30:02I think it might be me.
30:04Take a look.
30:06I stayed with you once
30:08I just watched you tear a pepper apart
30:10with your fists
30:12I thought, do you know what?
30:14Why not?
30:16Who needs things to be neatly sliced?
30:20Oh, that's hard.
30:22Fair enough, I did last.
30:24OK, so, Sarah, you've got a yellow card.
30:27Rob, yellow card.
30:29Joe, yellow card.
30:31Bob, yellow card.
30:33Oh, no.
30:35Dammit, son of a gun.
30:37He's looking at me.
30:39That's our first red card.
30:41Oh, no!
30:49That's like being tortured.
30:51Don't lick me, I'm Jamaican.
30:53When is it going to stop?
30:55I'm just one woman.
30:57You have chlamydia.
30:59I don't give consent for that.
31:01Meats and cheeses, always pleases.
31:03I want to see Richard Eoardi crack.
31:05That, for me, is good television.
31:07Jimmy's an absolute piece of shit.
31:09I'm just disappointed.
31:11We'd gone mad.
31:15Oh, shit.
31:18Oh, my God!
31:20It was a straight kill shot
31:22and that was that.
31:24Slag.
31:48Oh, shit.
31:50Oh, shit.
31:52Oh, shit.
31:54Oh, shit.
31:56Oh, shit.
31:58Oh, shit.
32:00Oh, shit.
32:02Oh, shit.
32:04Oh, shit.
32:06Oh, shit.
32:08Oh, shit.
32:10Oh, shit.
32:12Oh, shit.
32:14Oh, shit.
32:16Oh, shit.
32:18Oh, shit.
32:20Oh, shit.
32:22Oh, shit.
32:24Oh, shit.
32:26Oh, shit.
32:28Oh, shit.
32:30Oh, shit.
32:32Oh, shit.
32:34Oh, shit.
32:36Oh, shit.
32:38Oh, shit.
32:40Oh, shit.
32:42Oh, shit.