Married At First Sight (Au) Season 12 Episode 25
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00:00:00our newlyweds went on the annual couples retreat was just perfect just have a
00:00:10little reset and the mini coastal getaway it's been good having that
00:00:14chance to connect again proved to be the remedy some desperately needed we're
00:00:19back to our old selves where we're having fun together the thing is like
00:00:24you are so lucky but when Jamie put Lauren and Clint's marriage under the
00:00:29microscope in real life I would not come to you for relationship advice Lauren
00:00:33did not hold back you're a bunch of wild animals you actually ambushed me last
00:00:38night no no no don't even go there and left Jamie feeling betrayed by the lack
00:00:43of support from friends Rhi and Karina I'm a Switzerland I want everyone to
00:00:48come together then stand up for me to Karina I'm so sick of being the bad
00:00:53girls because I speak up but where is my defense and then dinner is served a
00:01:01maths world first saw two dinner parties on the same night
00:01:07what do you reckon is going on over there how are you going to defend there's
00:01:13no apology while Rhi made amends with Jamie I am sorry in that moment I didn't
00:01:19stand up for you bingo thank you a defiant Karina felt the full force of
00:01:24Jamie's tyranny tonight you're smiling Adrian it doesn't always happen
00:01:39Athena and Adrian's extraordinary turnaround I'm happy you know we're at a
00:01:44great place right now we're also talking about our next moments together love is
00:01:48on full display at the commitment ceremony can you see yourself falling
00:01:52in love with Rhi yeah and how's that feel it feels very good it was like a
00:01:59mean girls 2.0 environment a friendship in tatters you keep on doubling down and
00:02:06insulting me with neither Jamie nor Karina backing down I bet you and your
00:02:11husband when when can the experts mend deep wounds you're embarrassing please
00:02:17just stop talking to me you talk as though you're above them Lauren held to
00:02:22account you've thrown some words around tonight psycho animals I don't associate
00:02:27with this type the experts deliver some hard truths I think you're giving
00:02:33yourself a little bit too much credit here personality wise oh dang that's the
00:02:38problem though that's your problem
00:02:41get it home
00:02:50it's the morning of the fifth commitment ceremony of the experiment
00:02:58our couples are still feeling the impact of last night's dinner party last night
00:03:05pretty hectic didn't it mm-hmm it did it really did I didn't expect Jamie and
00:03:11Karina to now be on different sides either I did that didn't get resolved at
00:03:15all Lauren walked off and calling us a bunch of losers like like Jamie was just
00:03:20expressing how she felt and they couldn't see her perspective so it just
00:03:23went around and roundabouts and I'm still confused as to why we're all
00:03:28arguing over a couple who just don't care enough to even show up this morning
00:03:35Jamie has woken up feeling the hangover of her intense fight with Karina at the
00:03:40dinner party that's such an unpleasant way to start the day Karina is certainly
00:03:48not my friend that is for damn sure that is her being a friend or she ain't no
00:03:53friend of mine no she's not my coach she's not my cup of tea you would say
00:03:58the rest of the group were mean girls asking questions that weren't mean girls
00:04:03I would feel the same way exactly how I am now I'm being defensive of myself
00:04:07you're feeding into this narrative and you are validating delusion what she
00:04:14said Jamie I can't fight with someone who has no logic you keep saying things
00:04:21that validate her behavior don't call me a mean girl like that's I mean you want
00:04:26to start the night with main gal without only the biggest bitch you that
00:04:32conversation was painful talking to her was painful sitting in that chair facing
00:04:37her was painful hearing the words come out of her mouth painful don't don't put
00:04:43your hands in the lion cage babe don't do it doubling down and calling me a
00:04:48mean girl like you know what I mean I'm like
00:04:52why would I want to be friends with that I definitely got my words out your
00:04:57apology from Ray yeah well that's that's that's what I wanted I'm really sorry I
00:05:02hurt you in that moment why I didn't stand up
00:05:05bingo thank you that's all I needed I came in hoping that you would come like
00:05:12this you're not meeting me with this stupidity that's why I put you in very
00:05:16different categories she was genuine she was remorseful she was like empathetic
00:05:21to my feelings she validated me I was really hoping to resolve things with
00:05:25Ray she is someone like I'm quite close with and so that would have been really
00:05:29hard if her and I like couldn't resolve these I wanted clarity and where I stand
00:05:35with everyone else and the clarity I did get I know exactly where I stand with
00:05:39Karina I've literally dropped enough f-bombs to fill up quite a few swear
00:05:45jaws am I proud of my behavior no I feel like Ryan now has to give the title
00:05:56classless to my mouth because it was brutal I've been the person to have good
00:06:03relationships with pretty much everyone like people do mean something to me
00:06:08friends do mean something to me but like if you actually do manage to hurt me I
00:06:14am gonna be like nothing short of ruthless the absence of Lauren and Clint
00:06:19was remarkable for many for many reasons one I didn't have to look at her face
00:06:25for a second longer or break bread with this bitch
00:06:29true it was like case in point where is your mate after her confrontation with
00:06:39Jamie at last night's dinner party Karina is feeling let down by how their
00:06:45disagreement unfolded yeah quite disappointed how the outcome was last
00:06:51night feeling deflated yeah just a bit hurt I obviously cried and was so
00:06:58confused about everything and how I got so blown out of proportion and just was
00:07:03so unnecessary yeah it was not needed at all didn't realize last night was
00:07:10going to pan out the way it did Jamie just attacked me so quickly before I
00:07:14could even give myself a piece of bread but why do you have to say those types
00:07:20of quick like gnarky comments that's what I don't like about Jamie's
00:07:25presence and or eyes that she just said such gnarky comments and like how she
00:07:29was instantly shutting me down and just what comes out of her mouth I'm just
00:07:33like right now I feel Jamie doesn't want to be a friend of mine and maybe
00:07:39the same goes for me I do not agree with what Lauren said but how Jamie has gone
00:07:47about this whole situation it was probably the most hurtful I have my own
00:07:54voice I found it hard to stand up for myself so yeah I'm nervous about facing
00:08:01Jamie tonight feeling so isolated and just attacked to say the least
00:08:19as our couples prepare for the evening ahead there is one question on
00:08:25everyone's lips
00:08:29Lauren clean what do you reckon drinking that rock out it'd be um it'd be
00:08:34interesting to see if Lauren and Clint come I don't know we'll find out tonight
00:08:39that what we love yeah Lauren and Clint are gonna get
00:08:42roasted I don't know if I'm quitting Lauren are gonna rock up oh well Lauren
00:08:53and Clint show up tonight I don't want to have to look at her like I really
00:08:58really don't I just want to hear the experts perspective on her behavior
00:09:03that's my Christmas present for today I'm really hoping the experts can go
00:09:08yeah like Lauren your behavior's shit your shit stop being a bitch you're rude
00:09:16get out of here and I'd be like yes I just want the experts to let her have it
00:09:23that would be really like orgasmic it's like my version of like auditory porn
00:09:46hello greetings gentlemen hello gents
00:10:08welcome ladies hello ladies
00:10:14come and take a seat
00:10:18I have to weigh myself
00:10:38where's Lauren
00:10:42she's in the barroom
00:10:49I thought tonight was gonna be boring that you guys did you miss us
00:11:02not really terrible
00:11:06where were you last night guys just didn't want to come we actually had a
00:11:10nice dinner without you so didn't want to be a part of this experiment anymore
00:11:18I can't learn anything from this experiment apparently the experts can't
00:11:22teach them anything so why bother it's actually got nothing to do with the
00:11:25experts it's more about you that's what you said though what's wrong with us we
00:11:32should have brought some little zoo feeding pellets to keep them quiet hold
00:11:37on guys okay welcome it has been clearly a huge week for all of you you've had
00:11:46the couple's retreat and last night was the dinner party which left us frankly
00:11:53speechless
00:12:01we clearly have a lot to unpack tonight
00:12:08and with that being said our first couple up on the couch
00:12:15and thank you for joining us Lauren and Clint
00:12:32all right well let's cut straight to it last night what happened where were you
00:12:38we had a dinner party in our apartment the cocktail party and a dinner party
00:12:44party of two just for both of you it was invite didn't you get it
00:12:51yeah don't get invited to a lot of parties Adrian this is a huge reason why
00:12:59we don't enjoy this environment because of the peanut gallery the chirps and the
00:13:03cheap comments so explain what was behind your decision not to come to the
00:13:13group dinner party I can tell me to go yeah yeah I for me it's about a lot of
00:13:21the standards and values that I know I live to and we share we align on those
00:13:27sort of values and what we've experienced in the social environments
00:13:31dinner parties couples retreat aren't the values that I know I don't I don't
00:13:37stand for only for we just find it an absolute embarrassment so we just chose
00:13:44not to turn up last night and enjoy that again so Lauren what happened on retreat
00:13:51basically I just got attacked by Athena Jamie and Beth at girls night tell me
00:14:01some of the things that were said to you they were asking me things about
00:14:06Clint like you know what I did and didn't like about Clint and it upset me
00:14:11because there's like Clint is literally the nicest person probably on this
00:14:15entire planet and for me to have to bring up things and talk about things
00:14:19that you know might be hurtful or upsetting or you know just something
00:14:24that's not positive didn't make me feel good to talk about those things and so
00:14:28that's when I started to cry like I do feel shut down a lot of the time we're
00:14:35in a group dynamic especially when that lady keeps flapping her mouth constantly
00:14:40so being rude to us Jamie for God's sake
00:14:50at the start right we gave you the benefit that we welcomed you with open
00:14:53arms the reason you met with this I guess frustration is because we were we
00:15:00welcomed you in we put our arms around you we went into bat against against
00:15:05Elliot for you so like you had every opportunity to open yourself up to the
00:15:09group and get more out of this experiment than anyone else but I've
00:15:15explained to you multiple times that we are not like extroverted personalities
00:15:19we are not like all of them and when we've tried to remove ourselves in
00:15:24social situations it's created more drama and more psycho behavior like
00:15:29psycho behavior and honestly their behavior at social settings is boganic
00:15:35there is no other way to describe it what does that mean it is broken
00:15:43behavior classless it's like just it's just lacking class I would say I do feel
00:15:51like the behavior at dinner parties which is usually led by the four of you
00:15:55in the corner there is boganic behavior and I stand by that it's because of your
00:16:01behavior it's your behavior dealing with this absolute circus is just honestly
00:16:07mentally draining so there's absolutely no point in me even having a discussion
00:16:11with any of you I'm done I'm literally done talking you were so rude to us all
00:16:16you're embarrassing please just stop talking to me do we have a curtain that
00:16:19we can pull across now Lauren I got an issue because you've thrown some words
00:16:27around tonight psycho animals I don't associate with this type of person you
00:16:39talk as though you're above them and they're way below you do you think
00:16:48you're better than them
00:16:58now Lauren I got an issue because you've thrown some words around tonight
00:17:05psycho animals I don't associate with this type of person you talk as though
00:17:15you're above them and they're way below you
00:17:22do you think you're better than them because that's what you're saying to
00:17:29them I feel ganic behavior is essentially you got no class I don't
00:17:39have time for you peasants
00:17:43that's what I'm getting tonight and that's what I've heard from this group
00:17:47and I'm challenging you know I'm saying to you is this how you feel because
00:17:55that's what's coming across at the dinner parties and at the couple's
00:18:02retreat I definitely do feel like I would not behave the way that they
00:18:06behave in social situations so for that reason yes I do feel like my behavior is
00:18:11better how's your behavior I don't know Adrian why don't you tell me the fact
00:18:17that you can't see your attitude is wild to me like the fact that you cannot see
00:18:22what you are saying is crazy I think to everyone Adrian pipe down guys do you
00:18:30know what's quite interesting to me is that when it all went down with Elliot
00:18:34and you came back to say your piece Elliot had gone the group really rallied
00:18:39around you and now they're sitting here tonight throwing daggers at you how do
00:18:48you explain the fact that the groups turned on you particularly yeah I
00:18:53definitely have a cold hard exterior that is for sure like it does take me a
00:19:00long time to drop my walls and to get to know someone and to let them get to know
00:19:04me and you know people think that you know I'm a bitch or something because I
00:19:10you know maybe I don't know I have resting bitch face apparently and I feel
00:19:18like I get taken the wrong way a lot of the time and then like people get that
00:19:21back up and then I react why do they get their back up probably because they
00:19:26think that I'm being rude or that I don't like them when it's really just
00:19:30the case that I am shy I am very closed off to begin with no this time I've got
00:19:36to jump in there is a clear difference between being shy and being rude or
00:19:43being disrespectful I think you're giving yourself a little bit too much
00:19:47credit here personality-wise because what we're seeing in terms of the
00:19:54pattern that you're displaying here is rudeness Lauren
00:20:00no John asked you earlier if if you see yourself as above the rest of the group
00:20:04well certainly as outsiders observing you even just your nonverbal
00:20:09communication we would say that it's a resounding yes but I think that's the
00:20:14problem though that that is how I perceive that's your problem it is my
00:20:18problem yes so what I think would be really helpful here for you in terms of
00:20:23your own development is to start asking yourself what am I doing that's making
00:20:28them feel that way toward me I mean you've acknowledged some of the words
00:20:34the bogans the losers and so on but apart from that I mean are you aware of
00:20:38some of the the throwaway comments for example that the passive-aggressive
00:20:44barbs that you're throwing out to the group or the eye-rolling or the you know
00:20:48that they're really looking down on these people I feel like in the same
00:20:52conversations though they're calling me names as well again you're blaming them
00:20:56I'm only talking about a conversation so why is it as an as a mature adult one of
00:21:01your jobs is to take accountability for what you do and say so my concern here
00:21:08is that you're choosing not to look at that stuff at the moment when are you
00:21:13able to do that now
00:21:19yeah it's definitely something that I can work on Lauren do you feel like the
00:21:25group conflict has been a distraction to you focusing on a relationship with
00:21:29Clint yeah it's definitely been a major negative part of the experience is the
00:21:35group Clint actually said that when there was conflict that you guys your
00:21:39relationship got stronger okay Jeff sure yeah she turned into each other did you
00:21:44not say that okay yeah uh-huh yeah we definitely united much more when you
00:21:49guys had to carry on to suit my curiosity what's going on with you two
00:21:56what is the relationship we get along really well like day-to-day living where
00:22:02we actually get along fine but we are really we are friends like we did speak
00:22:08last time about the fact that it was a friendship and it was very clear to me
00:22:14Clint at least from your side that you didn't want to pursue something more
00:22:18than a friendship so what has happened and what has been done to progress the
00:22:24relationship I don't know we just have been getting along and enjoying company
00:22:30but haven't but that wasn't your goal no definitely I definitely came in here to
00:22:36find someone to be intimate and affectionate with for sure but in the
00:22:40last couple of weeks no do you think you were impacted by her not wanting to meet
00:22:45you at that level I probably got my gut up a little bit not sure if it was
00:22:52something that I wanted to keep advancing I would need I think we're on
00:22:58the same page where we'd probably need to spend more time as friends to see if
00:23:02it would be something I don't feel like I want to jump into bed with Lauren no I
00:23:07don't feel like I want to just yeah I don't feel that right now no
00:23:15Clint can I just say something as your mate I'm sitting here and I'm sad
00:23:20brother because you've said you like Lauren she's attractive you've gone to
00:23:24bat for her you still put your balls on the line you said at the boys night you
00:23:28had hope for the relationship and now I just I want you to speak from the heart
00:23:33mate like what do you want from this because I've not seen her give you a
00:23:37single thing no support no emotional connection no physical touch so just
00:23:44makes me sad mate you can't lock her in that's the thing sorry mate you can't
00:23:48lock her you can't say you do like oh yeah it's clear as day listen it's clear
00:23:51as day Lauren doesn't like you and that's okay but you can also say you
00:23:54know what I should do like her as a person I do like her and we want to I
00:23:57want to pursue things and if she says no that's all right
00:24:02did not I don't know why you're beating around the bush and again it's okay to
00:24:06lock her man but why do you all think that I've convinced him to say this we
00:24:10said we would be our friends we've we've we've been friends in the beginning and
00:24:14we will continue to be friends outside that is what we've discussed
00:24:20I don't know I get a sense that it's different it's my sense from observing
00:24:35you not just tonight but since you've arrived to the experiment that if she
00:24:40had allowed or had opened a window or a door of maybe there's something here you
00:24:45would have been very early on yeah for sure Lauren do you feel like you've put
00:24:52everything you can into this relationship or into attempting to build
00:24:58a relationship with Clint
00:25:01I do you're joking are you joking why do you say that look Clint and I have been
00:25:22living together for a few weeks now we've done the tasks we've gone on the
00:25:26retreat we've had long conversations we've got on dates with you know
00:25:31spent a lot of time together and we've both agreed but it's just not it's just
00:25:41not there
00:26:02Lauren do you feel like you've put everything you can into this
00:26:08relationship or into attempting to build a relationship with Clint I do you're
00:26:17joking are you joking why do you say that look Clint and I have been living
00:26:23together for a few weeks now we've had long conversations we've gone on dates
00:26:29we've you know spent a lot of time together and we've both agreed that it's
00:26:36just not it's just not there
00:26:43she makes him read everything I know I feel so sorry for him
00:26:50on that note we're gonna go to decision we're gonna go with you first
00:26:57Lauren
00:27:14leave in the zoo and another Bob I actually pretty embarrassed for you like
00:27:23you're actually embarrassing I know I know if you had this again this decision
00:27:32and you wanted to write down something on the card that wasn't condescending
00:27:39and sarcastic and demeaning what would it be leave XX gotcha for you Clint what
00:27:51have you got for us well it's been a challenging few days I think yeah I
00:27:59think the best thing right now is to also leave okay thank Christ what we're
00:28:08really curious about is where to from here as a couple as a friendship what
00:28:15are you gonna do what are your plans invited a tazzy maybe I'll definitely go
00:28:20tazzy
00:28:27Clint do you hope there might be something more well I think if I saw
00:28:32Lauren outside of here and or when when I see Lauren outside of here it's also
00:28:37about me seeing if Lauren's the right person for me it's not just me waiting
00:28:41there for Lauren to just jump I get it so if it did look like she was like the
00:28:46right person for me and we our worlds could actually work absolutely I'd love
00:28:50to explore a future what about you Lauren um sure I hope that it does
00:28:55blossom into something but if it doesn't then that's okay too
00:29:05this was a intense rollercoaster you were you're Sean brightly for a short
00:29:13period of time in here we thank you very much for your time in this
00:29:16experiment thank you no good luck for the future
00:29:23Oh straight out walking straight out the door
00:29:30you
00:29:38they're just leaving
00:29:42Lauren Clint we don't want you to go right now how we do we do
00:29:50yeah see let's go do you want to stay for the rest of the commitment ceremony
00:29:57thanks for that's all right
00:30:00at least they're consistent boys at least they've gone
00:30:06Bogan's given Australia I embraced it they're literally crazy
00:30:15our next couple up on the couch Athena and Adrian hello you two hello hi guys
00:30:42you're smiling Adrian yeah first time that doesn't always happen
00:30:49no always smiling but not in this couch here no he's always smiling you know he
00:30:54thought to do something naughty because like this smile comes on like shit how
00:30:59was the couples retreat for you I really enjoyed the couples retreat and I left
00:31:05with a smile on my job I left now that it perked my step and I feel bad because
00:31:10there was so much turmoil within the group and I was sad fat but I'm here for
00:31:15Adrian and our relationship was stronger after leaving this is really nice to see
00:31:20you having so much lightness again how are you feeling about that Adrian I'm
00:31:28feeling good you know we started off strong and then obviously went downhill
00:31:32from there but um we're back on no back on the bike going up the hill and I'm
00:31:37happy you know we're at a great pace right now we're also talking about our
00:31:42next moments together so like on the weekend just gone Adrian was already
00:31:47discussing what he wanted to do with me the following weekend and I really loved
00:31:52hearing that because it made me hear I want to spend more time with you and
00:31:56that you know he could just even say I want to go to the tip with you on the
00:32:01weekend but I'm still hearing I want to spend time with you
00:32:07so you've had some validation loads of validation yeah that's wonderful so you
00:32:16feel comfortable enough to be physically a attentive I guess as that now
00:32:24progressed back into the sexual realm in 24 hours within 24 hours I think we
00:32:34should go to the decision so do I yes obviously obvious that I'm staying it's
00:32:45obviously obvious that Adrian is staying all right
00:32:48Athena what about you I'm also staying that's an enthusiastic big stay
00:32:55enthusiastic we love it you guys can go back to the couch
00:33:04our next couple up Jackie and Ryan come and grab a seat thank you guys hello
00:33:20hello welcome hello Alessandra Mel John how are you two
00:33:25well okay so that Ryan has started complimenting me on the thing that's
00:33:30most important to me which is my intellect and he hasn't oh yeah that
00:33:36too yeah that was yeah you know like I was
00:33:39brilliant you know and it's nice to meet someone who's she's probably even
00:33:42slightly above my intellectual level and it's just it's really refreshing yeah
00:33:49that was big for me like on my letter writing like I wrote about that how I
00:33:54felt like I never get seen by anyone because I get assumed I'm a model or
00:33:58like hot and I never get seen for who I am as a person deep down inside and so
00:34:04like that's really important to me so do you feel like you're on the same page as
00:34:08one another so Ryan and I started getting sexually intimate and I think
00:34:15we've done it like maybe twice or three times and then I mean okay I one morning
00:34:23we woke up and I was like oh should we you know and Ryan said oh no like sorry
00:34:30I I can't afford the gym then he explained to me that he he would prefer
00:34:38to um save us testosterone for the gym I wasn't expecting you to go there you're
00:34:51saving it for the gym he likes to save his testosterone for dinner parties and
00:35:05and I actually really respected it right it shows discipline in a man and it
00:35:09shows that he's got self-control he obviously values his lifestyle and
00:35:15fitness and body very highly which is actually a huge priority for me so I I
00:35:19see the human not at the expense of your knees yeah that needs to be said yeah but it was
00:35:23at the expense of my knees. At the retreat I had a girls chat and everyone's sharing how
00:35:35their relationships going and I was like has anyone dated a gym boy before like
00:35:39is it true? And what was the feedback Jackie? The feedback was that no one's
00:35:45ever heard of it before no one's ever dated a guy who says his testosterone for the gym.
00:35:50I have a question on this whole morning situation and your testosterone you know holding on to
00:36:03why were you not just pleasuring her? I'm not sure. Oh dang. In what situation sir?
00:36:18I have a question on this whole morning situation why were you not just pleasuring
00:36:34her? In what situation sir? In the morning situation that you wanted to maintain your
00:36:39testosterone in your body you can totally do that and still super pleasure her. I'm
00:36:48not sure. Oh dang. So what's up with modern man? Where did he go? So are you saying that
00:37:02that particular morning that you're talking about? Any morning that you want to maintain
00:37:06your testosterone and not be active yourself you can still pleasure your partner. Yeah for sure
00:37:12that there has to be balance between between our two sets of needs and like they're not identical.
00:37:18We're all making light because it is funny but yeah you can get really frustrated if when you
00:37:26have your moment your partner isn't available because of something that he's choosing and
00:37:31there are ways that you can come to you know both of you being satisfied. There's no reason
00:37:39for her to be not satisfied just because you haven't been to the gym. Yeah absolutely and
00:37:45I don't want to classify that in those terms. I would never prioritize gym over my partner's
00:37:50niece never. It seems like you did that morning no? It's not even about like the sex like I
00:38:07honestly don't care but like I feel like often there's just no willingness to compromise you
00:38:13know. Which is my point. There has been compromise there has been from both sides. Ryan do you hear
00:38:24yourself when you say that? Because it's quite telling she's saying I don't feel like there's
00:38:32a lot of compromise and you're saying that's simply not true. It does confuse me a little
00:38:40because she has made a lot of comments about you've changed your behavior so much and now
00:38:44you're the most supportive husband that you've never been before and all these positive things
00:38:48and then say I'm not compromising at all. No but there's different things. No listen because if I
00:38:53if I wasn't then there'd be no change to our energy we wouldn't be in a good place so I just
00:38:57need you to think more carefully when you make these statements because then John rightly jumped
00:39:02on that and it's not 100% the case is it? Ryan I'm getting uncomfortable with how you're talking to
00:39:07her. You're saying to her you need to think more carefully about how you bring up these things.
00:39:16You're saying when she speaks that's simply not true.
00:39:22Your response is to shut her down and talk to her like she's a little school girl.
00:39:31Oh do you think? Yes you're like the school principal. Yes. Telling her off.
00:39:36Oh well I'm sorry that wasn't my intention. How would how do you go about expressing
00:39:40that in a way that doesn't make me come across as the school principal?
00:39:49Wait is she crying or laughing?
00:39:53What's wrong?
00:40:05I just feel like it's hopeless. I'm just like I've already tried.
00:40:18It's not hopeless. It's not babe it's not. Like I feel like I've met with so much like
00:40:26resistance and it's just so hard for me to just push through and like
00:40:30try and like I feel like I'm wading through an ocean where the current's just coming back at me
00:40:34with the relationship you know. Yeah. I am confused and yeah honestly a little bit hurt.
00:40:43Yeah well there's like obviously good stuff right like that doesn't discredit all the
00:40:46like fun I've been having with you. You're right there has been growth. Yeah. You're absolutely
00:40:53right. You are a couple that has made huge strides. Yeah. Is it perfect? No.
00:41:01Are you are you both trying completely? Yes. You're a very different couple
00:41:08but you've got to be more open-minded. When people bring things up get curious as opposed to defensive.
00:41:18What we're going to do now is go to the decision.
00:41:20What we're going to do now is go to the decision.
00:41:24Jackie. Me like I genuinely mean it when I say Ryan. I am enjoying spending time with you. I do
00:41:32still want to work with this relationship. I want it to be the best it can and that's why I said stay.
00:41:37Yeah. Ryan. Okay. I want to keep chatting. I want to keep seeing where it goes. Good.
00:41:46All right. Thank you guys. Well done.
00:42:04We had to put the arm up and her head went back. I'm so sorry.
00:42:08Sorry gang.
00:42:11Let's get our next couple up.
00:42:16Elliot and Veronica.
00:42:26Well. Hello. Well we're doing well. Who wants to kick it off?
00:42:34We had a great retreat as a couple. But now I'm feeling really unsure about my choices this week.
00:42:43In what way? I guess maybe holding back a little bit to what my normal communication would look like
00:42:52in order to fit in with Elliot.
00:42:58So does that mean at the couple's retreat? Yes. That it was a filtered version of you that Elliot
00:43:05saw? Yes. I have held back on certain areas that are very big parts of my personality.
00:43:14I have held back on certain areas that are very big parts of my personality
00:43:21in my relationship with you. Because I don't want to overwhelm you and I don't feel like we're at
00:43:29that point of comfortability with each other and emotional openness that it will be received well.
00:43:37Are you saying that the reason why we're getting along is because you were changing your personality?
00:43:44Like that's that to me is a really big accusation.
00:43:48It feels like from my perspective we had a great week. Total disconnect here. Yeah. Like it's just
00:43:56baffling to me. Like it it just seems like like I'm in this experiment with someone that that
00:44:03doesn't really like me. Like do you think I feel that way as well? I'm going to ask you Veronica
00:44:10to let him finish. I apologize. It just feels like this constant constant uphill battle and
00:44:21like it doesn't feel like I can just like relax. Do you feel judged? Yeah 100%. Like
00:44:29the other thing that came out at the dinner party which you know kind of blindsided me was that when
00:44:35we did have our kind of worst week after the first dinner party Veronica chose to go and confide in
00:44:42Lauren. I admit now that going to Lauren probably was not the best choice. Why? Well because she
00:44:51obviously has her own motivations, opinions. But I understand why you would be hurt by that and I
00:44:59apologize. It's not about being hurt. It's about me questioning like what your priorities are here.
00:45:10And if we're modifying our personalities we're not truly engaging in the experiment.
00:45:20Let's sum this up. That even after a good week away as a couple at the couple's retreat
00:45:28you're basically saying that neither one of you feel desired or really liked by the other person.
00:45:36It's a bit sad. But I think we're going to need to go to the decision.
00:45:42Sadly the way that you're talking right now about one another we kind of feel like we know where
00:45:50this is headed. So let's find out stay or leave and let's go with you first.
00:46:01Veronica. So obviously I have made a lot of adjustments that I thought would be beneficial
00:46:11for the relationship and I realized that maybe they're not. And so
00:46:16um no more moderated personality. I said stay. You're gonna stay? Okay.
00:46:28All right. Elliot. Yeah I um I was definitely in two minds. I
00:46:37I
00:46:37I decided
00:46:46I was going to give it another week and then if we right stay we right stay. If we right leave we
00:46:51right leave. All right I'm glad that you've done this. It's completely uh confused me but I love it.
00:47:01The fact that you've decided to stay means we can deal with that. The way you're going to deal
00:47:09with it Veronica you're going to start by just being yourself and you're going to embrace her.
00:47:16But give them a chance to do it. You're going to have to do this differently
00:47:23and with that you can go back to the group.
00:47:31So
00:47:39Coming up. I'm so sorry I will cut you off.
00:47:44Jamie gets called out for her behavior at last night's dinner party.
00:47:49Mama bears don't do this to their cubs. They just don't.
00:48:02Our next couple up on the couch. Ray and Jeff.
00:48:14Hello. Hello. Hello. Hey you two. Welcome. Thank you. How has the week been for you two?
00:48:24It's been a big week. Uh-huh. Yeah obviously as we've heard there's been a lot of drama.
00:48:32Yeah. And uh yeah it's taken a little bit of a toll on probably Rhi more so than myself.
00:48:41Seeing Rhi how she's been um you know a bit off and not her normal self.
00:48:46It's hard for me to see and it actually hurts me inside.
00:48:50I guess it's demonstrated to me how much I actually genuinely do care for Rhi.
00:48:55I want to help her as best I can and I really do care about how she feels and I do
00:49:01truly hate seeing her upset. Yeah it just it did really affect me when I saw her like that.
00:49:09Listening to you describe your experience this week Jeff and the way that you're caring for Rhi.
00:49:16It's really throwing out signs of you know this relationship's got legs.
00:49:21It's gonna go somewhere. It definitely has legs. Can you see yourself falling in love with Rhi?
00:49:28Oh hard-hitting um yeah.
00:49:36Yeah I think I think I'm on the right path to feeling that way um
00:49:39yeah especially over the last like two or three weeks like the feelings are getting a lot deeper
00:49:44and last week definitely demonstrated that for me so yeah I'm uh I'm optimistic about it.
00:49:50He's blushing.
00:49:57Very cute.
00:50:00Rhi did you hear what he just said? That he does see himself falling in love with you.
00:50:06Yes I did hear that. And how's that feel? It feels very good. It feels very good.
00:50:13I kind of didn't know where to look to be honest. I'm like yeah.
00:50:16Have you heard him say anything like that before?
00:50:22No. Wow. It's pretty crazy to hear it as well considering obviously where we came from. Yeah.
00:50:28And having dated before just thought that you know we go through the experiment figure out
00:50:33that we're friend-zoned and that was it. I didn't realize that we would be here right
00:50:37like at this point in the experiment. So Rhi what about from your perspective
00:50:42can you see yourself falling in love with Jeff? I can.
00:50:50Jeff is still blushing. I know.
00:50:56I've got to say this is really cute. My smile is really wide and I can't. Yes it is. It's a huge
00:51:03smile and we are so happy for the two of you as well. I think it's time to go to the decision.
00:51:08Perfect. I am writing stay. Fabulous. No surprises here.
00:51:25Our next couple up on the couch. Beth and TJ.
00:51:32Thank you. Howdy. Howdy. Howdy. Hello. Hi. How are you going?
00:51:37Very good. Good to see you guys. You too. Hello. Where are you at? How are you going?
00:51:44I'll start. He's amazing. I feel so comfortable with him.
00:51:48We've established a really good friendship but I feel
00:51:55that TJ's maybe not attracted to me.
00:51:58It's not really anything that he's doing. I think obviously we did sleep together a few weeks ago
00:52:06and I think because we kind of ripped the band-aid off and we were intimate and then it stopped.
00:52:12For me I'm thinking oh maybe he's not attracted to me and he doesn't want to do that again. I always
00:52:17wait for the guy to initiate everything because I don't want to be the one to initiate everything.
00:52:25Because I've got this belief about myself that I won't be good enough for someone.
00:52:32I try to ignore the voice in my head and you know hype myself and be like you are pretty,
00:52:37you are worthy you know and tell myself all those things but I think it still kind of lives in my
00:52:42head a little bit. TJ do you feel sexual chemistry with Beth? It does confuse me hearing Beth say
00:52:50that she doesn't think that I'm attracted to her because I felt like I was doing those things like
00:52:57acts of service, words of affirmation, doing all these things. I make it known to Beth that I'm
00:53:01particularly a fan of her backside. I like smack her on the butt every chance I get. It's one thing
00:53:06to admire a beautiful woman like Beth is. It's a very different thing to be attracted to that
00:53:12beautiful woman. You can admire and not necessarily want to go. I don't think that I would be as
00:53:19touchy-feely with Beth if I wasn't attracted to her. Like I just wouldn't do that.
00:53:22Why do you not just grab her and kiss her?
00:53:26I've taken I guess a step back in that aspect because I felt like the reciprocation wasn't
00:53:31there because I crave a sense of being wanted. I want my partner to equally want me as much as
00:53:36I want them and I hope that it's aware to you that I definitely am attracted to you as well too
00:53:40by the things that I do. I do not know a single human who doesn't want to feel desired by their
00:53:47partner. It is important, Beth, that you are able to let TJ know about how desirable you find him.
00:53:57Don't make it a bigger deal than it needs to be if it's just confusion in communication.
00:54:02Yeah.
00:54:04I think it's time for the decision.
00:54:07I'm staying.
00:54:08Staying.
00:54:09With a smiley face and a little kiss. I'm not done with you yet, love.
00:54:12You know, it was an easy stay for me just to see where the connection could take us as well.
00:54:20Great.
00:54:21Thanks, guys.
00:54:22Thank you so much.
00:54:26And I say S is for staying and sexy time.
00:54:29Just keep it down tonight.
00:54:30Put a sock on the door knob or something.
00:54:35Our next couple up on the couch,
00:54:38Karina and Paul.
00:54:42So we're going to go straight to last night.
00:54:51Karina, we certainly observed quite a level of tension between yourself and Jamie
00:54:57based on your differing opinions about Clint and Lauren.
00:55:01What was going on for you?
00:55:04Somehow I've been caught and brought into the crazy drama that's happening.
00:55:12So.
00:55:18The behavior that I saw at the girls' night was something I don't stand for.
00:55:24From both ends, but it was like a mean girls 2.0 environment.
00:55:31It was like one girl against a few girls.
00:55:36I don't I don't stand by that behavior.
00:55:39You're still suggesting that I'm a mean girl.
00:55:42I didn't specifically say that you're a mean girl.
00:55:45The environment was a mean girl environment, Jamie.
00:55:48Oh, good Lord.
00:55:50Make sense of this, because I can't.
00:55:51It's actually frustrating speaking to you.
00:55:53You keep on doubling down and insulting me.
00:55:56I don't understand how she's insulting you, though.
00:55:58The only reason I was in confrontation is because your mate made comments saying,
00:56:04I don't care about your opinion.
00:56:05She's sort of going, I'm so bored of this.
00:56:07Why am I getting involved in that?
00:56:09I'm not.
00:56:09And I defend all that.
00:56:10I defended you and your husband who are in this experiment.
00:56:13When?
00:56:14When?
00:56:14Jamie, when?
00:56:16I can't.
00:56:17I actually I actually can't be a part of this.
00:56:19I really can't.
00:56:20I promise you.
00:56:21So frustrating.
00:56:25Jesus Christ.
00:56:31I defended you and your husband who are in this experiment.
00:56:33When?
00:56:34When?
00:56:35Jamie, when?
00:56:36I can't.
00:56:37I actually I actually can't be a part of this.
00:56:39I really can't.
00:56:40I promise you.
00:56:40It's so frustrating.
00:56:45I'm friends with everyone.
00:56:46So for some reason, because I didn't agree with how some of the girls reacted towards Lauren,
00:56:54I'm now getting accused or I'm not a good friend to Jamie.
00:57:01Jesus Christ.
00:57:03I'm sorry that I offended you and hurt you.
00:57:05But I don't want this animosity between anyone.
00:57:08I'm trying to make everyone be friends.
00:57:12That's it.
00:57:18Okay.
00:57:20You found yourself in a situation where you had offered support to Lauren.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:25And the group was turning against you.
00:57:29What was that like for you?
00:57:32It was hard.
00:57:33It was really tough because I didn't want it to turn out that way.
00:57:37I just felt like everything was completely blown out of proportion.
00:57:40And somehow I got involved for trying to mend everything.
00:57:46I'm coming from a good place.
00:57:48I'm not the one throwing words out there.
00:57:52And last night, I felt like I was like cornered.
00:57:58Yeah.
00:57:58And it was a very uncomfortable feeling.
00:58:01And I did not want to be there.
00:58:03Yeah.
00:58:05I felt really like sad and I felt uncomfortable.
00:58:11And I felt like less worthy.
00:58:18Less worthy.
00:58:22Yeah.
00:58:25And I'm not intelligent enough to say the least.
00:58:29No, don't say that.
00:58:34Yeah.
00:58:35Last night at the dinner party, did you feel like your voice was heard?
00:58:41Not really.
00:58:42I tried to express my feelings.
00:58:44And I felt like my feelings are invalid or they're dumbed down.
00:58:50And I don't feel confident in that environment.
00:58:54Because maybe I express my words differently to some of the other girls.
00:58:58Maybe I'm not as quick to the mark as some of the other girls are.
00:59:01Maybe I take time to digest how I feel.
00:59:04And then I make the executive decision to open my mouth.
00:59:09Karina, I'm noticing in your voice that this is really upsetting you.
00:59:16It's not a nice feeling.
00:59:18It's not.
00:59:18Why is it so distressing?
00:59:20Because I guess, yeah, I don't know.
00:59:23Like growing up, I'm a baby of five.
00:59:28So it was hard to get your voice across.
00:59:31And, you know, that's just how it goes and how it went.
00:59:37So yeah, it's kind of like bringing back a little bit of trauma.
00:59:42So I just want to like abort the situation.
00:59:45And that's why I think I try and preach like,
00:59:49what you give is what you'll get in return.
00:59:51And just being kind to everyone.
00:59:53Or if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.
00:59:55I did not sleep last night and I kept thinking about Jamie
01:00:00and I kept thinking about everyone.
01:00:03And I was racking my brain as to how like,
01:00:06how did it get to this point?
01:00:08Because I don't think that's how friends act towards one another,
01:00:12if we're friends.
01:00:14I wish I could change it.
01:00:16But yeah, I don't know how.
01:00:19What I want to say to you is this...
01:00:22Well done.
01:00:24Oh, thank you.
01:00:26Because it is difficult to stand up against the group,
01:00:30to go against the grain.
01:00:36And you did that.
01:00:38And it's been a really special day for me.
01:00:41I don't know about you but I'm really proud of you.
01:00:44To stand up against the group to go against the grain and you did that
01:00:49So well done that took courage
01:00:56It's great that you've got that support here in paul, yeah, I see that
01:01:00Yeah, i'm very lucky because last night I was like, I just want to koala bear him in bed
01:01:05And I like wrapped myself around him like a little kid. Yeah
01:01:10Yeah
01:01:11Seeing karina and like literally hearing the thing that she just said that makes me feel extremely sad
01:01:16but
01:01:17Sometimes things happen for a reason and it just made me
01:01:20You know
01:01:21Appreciate her even more but I just care for this woman so much
01:01:27You know, I just I just don't want to lose her
01:01:29All right, we're gonna go to the decision now
01:01:32Sure
01:01:33Paul we'll start with you. Sure
01:01:35Well, I definitely want to continue this adventure with this beautiful woman and uh, I have no intention to leave
01:01:41so
01:01:44Oh, that's nice writing. Oh, that's a nice love heart very nice, babe
01:01:53And karina, uh, yes, well i'm like did she copy me?
01:02:01Two hearts love it. Have a great week
01:02:12Our last couple up on the couch
01:02:17Jamie and dave
01:02:23Hello you two hey guys
01:02:25Hello, I know i'm in trouble
01:02:28Why do you say that?
01:02:29Because I know I know how I conducted myself last night. So take us there then to last night. What was it?
01:02:37That took you into this completely different version of jamie
01:02:42um
01:02:43like
01:02:44So obviously after girls night
01:02:47There was like a clear like issue that we had with lauren the night
01:02:52That I got into that garden party argument
01:02:54It felt like no one was speaking up for me when i've always had people's backs
01:02:59And I feel like I have defended so many people and in that moment. I felt so much pain
01:03:06Lauren sat there
01:03:09smug going
01:03:11Where are your mates and that killed me?
01:03:14So lauren
01:03:16shamed you
01:03:18Humiliated you I felt very humiliated like I don't remember the last time I felt pain like that to be honest
01:03:26I know i'm strong
01:03:28but like I am very sensitive and my heart is very big and unfortunately like
01:03:33When I feel that kind of pain that I never want to feel I come out swinging
01:03:39Yeah
01:03:41I'm someone that you've probably seen time and time again. I defend
01:03:45the cubs
01:03:47I'm like a mother bear with her cubs
01:03:53I'm very protective over the people around me
01:03:56I
01:03:58Just haven't I don't know i've just naturally taken
01:04:01This role. It just is my it's like a part of I guess like my personal values like
01:04:06You know, I I see bad behavior and I call it out
01:04:11I'm, sorry
01:04:13I'm so sorry. I will cut you off
01:04:18Mama bears don't do this to their cubs
01:04:26They just don't
01:04:39I see bad behavior and I call it out. I'm, sorry
01:04:45I'm so sorry. I will cut you off
01:04:50Mama bears don't do this to their cubs
01:04:56They just don't
01:05:00So the self-description of mama bear as an excuse
01:05:05Not flying
01:05:08If what happened at the retreat was
01:05:11anywhere
01:05:12near the vicinity
01:05:14of what we saw last night
01:05:16I can certainly see how
01:05:18Your friends were intimidated
01:05:21By you and did not want to step in
01:05:24You know, there's a saying in spanish
01:05:32And what that means is the road to hell is paved by good intentions
01:05:40I don't doubt your good intentions jamie. I really don't
01:05:44But people need to be able to have differing opinions. They need to be able to be heard
01:05:48They need to be able to not feel drowned out and shut up
01:05:54It is interesting in the entire situation that the woman who was originally hurtful
01:06:01lauren
01:06:04Clearly didn't end up being the person most hurt in this situation
01:06:12She's not even here in the room
01:06:17She wasn't here last night when everybody was chewing each other out
01:06:20But
01:06:22Seems almost like her goal was achieved
01:06:29She won
01:06:32She came out on top, no
01:06:39How do you feel at this moment about everything that's been said here tonight about your behavior and your choices
01:06:46I
01:06:48Think it's just like now i'm feeling embarrassed
01:06:53um
01:06:54I guess ashamed
01:06:57I feel
01:06:59Like i've let dave down
01:07:03Like i've let myself down I was on like such a good trajectory
01:07:07um
01:07:08It's like essentially i'm calling out
01:07:11Bad behavior and then I took it and multiplied by a thousand. It's like well if you can be that I can do it better
01:07:17essentially
01:07:21And because I just couldn't
01:07:25Process the hurt in a healthy way it came out in a really nasty way towards other people
01:07:35Karina especially
01:07:37I
01:07:40Said
01:07:45The things I did say to you were completely unacceptable and I know that my behavior was unacceptable
01:07:55A thousand percent i'm, sorry
01:08:00How I spoke to you conducted myself my aggression
01:08:04The just everything the comments the demeanor and i'm sorry I made you feel
01:08:10Stupid less than unimportant or small or you wanted to remove yourself
01:08:18That is that is my behavior that was wrong and i'm sorry, thank you jamie
01:08:25I
01:08:32Really appreciate that apology to karina
01:08:36I was i'm in the wrong like i'm in the wrong and as much as I want
01:08:41Wanted to walk out last night like, you know big ego and that's the thing
01:08:46unfortunately, like
01:08:47My hurt does put me in a corner where I come out swinging
01:08:51I've been hurt so many times that my natural response
01:08:55Is to come forward with aggression and protect myself and hurt someone as much as I can
01:09:00That's hurt me
01:09:02And it's wrong and it's something I haven't had to do in years
01:09:06And the like the fact that i'm even in this place
01:09:12Is just really disappointing
01:09:16Lauren said some really really horrible things
01:09:19Really horrible things
01:09:23That is not lost on me
01:09:25It's not lost on any of us. Of course. It's not
01:09:29I do understand
01:09:31And also like many people in the group do not agree
01:09:35With the things that lauren was saying I understand how that can get under someone's skin. I understand how
01:09:41offended
01:09:42Many of you must have felt
01:09:45Of course
01:09:47That is understandable she was conducting herself horribly
01:09:54But when you see somebody conduct themselves horribly and are impacted by that horrible behavior
01:10:01Perhaps emulating that and bringing it to the umph degree is not the way to go
01:10:11In that fight simply because of the way
01:10:14That you are doing things
01:10:16The point is missed
01:10:20You never win
01:10:24You become worse than the perpetrator
01:10:36Jamie when it comes to your relationship with dave
01:10:40You know, you've been through a lot in your life
01:10:44And I guess the experiences that you've had this week which have been very intense
01:10:51How are you feeling at the moment
01:10:54Well
01:10:55Even though this has like been a really tough couch session. I still have loved this experiment with him
01:11:02And not to sound cliche but like the retreat has brought us closer together because you saw me from with so much hurt
01:11:10And I appreciate everything you've done for me and the support i've received
01:11:16So I think for the first time in my life
01:11:18I just get to feel the good feels and keep on experiencing all this amazing joy that we have
01:11:25Within our little home and within this experiment like we truly are having the best experiment
01:11:32And so I kind of saw an opportunity
01:11:40I covered his mouth. I said i'm gonna say something and I don't want you to say anything
01:11:46And I said, I love you like I really love you
01:11:50Now good night
01:11:54That's very big
01:11:57I was trying to keep it buried inside me
01:12:01But i'm not gonna suppress how I feel
01:12:11So
01:12:18So you haven't said it back
01:12:24No
01:12:27Do you feel that's a place where you can see yourself landing
01:12:31I mean this this experiment like we've really done it properly like we have
01:12:37and
01:12:39I don't think you can do this. You can do this properly and not fall in love
01:12:48Um, I want to own my feelings
01:12:54And i'm I am in tune with his emotions I understand what's going on here
01:13:05And so
01:13:08He gives me enough assurance and security where I know
01:13:13That that is that is within him and it is going to come to the surface, but i'm also patient understanding
01:13:38I think we're gonna go to the decision
01:13:44Oh, so please I want to get off this couch, let's see
01:13:56Yeah, i'm staying
01:13:59I also have decided to stay which may come as a shock. Um, oh, yeah
01:14:06You have a great week, thank you guys
01:14:32Tomorrow night
01:14:35Oh my god
01:14:39Are you are you lying?
01:14:40What's happening?
01:14:42The experiment enters a critical new phase
01:14:46We have decided to bring back a polarizing element of feedback week
01:14:50the partner swap
01:14:52over two big nights
01:14:54Feedback week will see temporary new pairings, honey. I'm home
01:14:59Jackie will pack her bags and move in with jeff
01:15:01Beth will pack her bags and move in with ryan as these new combinations offer fresh perspective
01:15:08Ray and jeff I see them as a kind of a model couple
01:15:12Maybe there's something I can learn from this while some embrace feedback week and the partner swap. That's really constructive
01:15:19Do you honestly think dave and I will last beyond this experiment?
01:15:24No
01:15:26Others will be put to the ultimate test. I don't want to be doing this
01:15:32What threatens to derail paul's marriage to karina?
01:15:36That is so wrong
01:15:41I'm quite scared of how she's gonna react