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00:00:00...that maybe she wanted to get caught.
00:00:09You know, Steve, watching you just gave me a revelation.
00:00:14Soda.
00:00:15Jerk.
00:00:16Soda jerk, get it?
00:00:18Go on, insult me. The money's as good as mine, Brenda.
00:00:20Yeah?
00:00:21Steve, your order's up. Come on.
00:00:24Must be pretty cozy down there at the beach club with your parents and Andrea Zuckerman looking over your shoulder.
00:00:30Yeah.
00:00:40Oh, how's Brenda? I was worried about her after I dropped her off.
00:00:43I really don't know. I'm afraid to go home.
00:00:47Brandon, what time do you get to the club in the morning?
00:00:49Seven.
00:00:50Oh, I don't have to be there till 8.30, but do you think you could give me a lift? It sure beats taking the bus.
00:00:55No problem. Well, for that matter, you could probably give her a ride home, too.
00:00:59Yeah.
00:01:01Steve, don't you have some work you should be doing?
00:01:03No, I'm on a break.
00:01:11Jay, Jay, over here.
00:01:14Hey, Jay, how you doing?
00:01:15Everybody, you remember Jay Thurman, don't you?
00:01:17Yeah.
00:01:18You know, the blaze hasn't been the same since you left.
00:01:20Yeah.
00:01:21And what am I, Chuck Liver?
00:01:22Yeah.
00:01:26How you doing, Jay? Brandon Walsh.
00:01:27Jay Thurman.
00:01:28Jay graduated a year before you moved here, Brandon. He used to be editor of the blaze.
00:01:32So, Walsh, Andrea tells me you're the features editor, right?
00:01:35Uh, no, sports.
00:01:37Oh, sorry.
00:01:39So, Jay, you still at Northwestern?
00:01:41Yeah, I just finished my sophomore year.
00:01:43Jay's working for CNN this summer in the election unit.
00:01:47Well, I'm just an intern, but I will get to go to the conventions.
00:01:50That's great.
00:01:51Well, join us. We have plenty of room.
00:01:53Uh, thanks, but Andrea and I are gonna head out to see a movie.
00:01:55Yeah, we're probably the last two people on the face of the earth who have not seen Batman Returns yet.
00:02:00Well, give my regards to Catwoman.
00:02:03Brandon, I'll see you in the morning.
00:02:04Hey, it was good to see you guys. Nice to meet you both.
00:02:06Take care, man.
00:02:08Are, are they, is that a date?
00:02:11Well, they do look awfully chummy.
00:02:13Well, Andrea could do a lot worse.
00:02:15Yeah, he's gotten so good looking.
00:02:18College does that to you.
00:02:20Well, I guess you won't have to be worrying about Andrea Zuckerman looking over your shoulder now, will you?
00:02:25No.
00:02:35Jim, both of her suitcases are gone and most of her clothes.
00:02:39Well, at least we know where she went.
00:02:41I'm calling Mayor.
00:02:46No.
00:02:48I'm going over there.
00:02:56Hey.
00:02:58Uh, what's going on?
00:03:01I left home.
00:03:03I can't live with my parents anymore.
00:03:06What happened?
00:03:08You were right.
00:03:10We can't sneak around and I can't keep on fighting with them.
00:03:13If my parents don't approve of my life, they don't have to watch me live it.
00:03:20Dylan.
00:03:22It's gonna be alright.
00:03:23It's gonna be alright.
00:03:25Don't worry.
00:03:29What am I doing?
00:03:46Uh, waiter.
00:03:48You missed a spot.
00:03:50And when you get a chance, I'd like to get a refill on my iced tea.
00:03:54You've already had three.
00:03:56Oh, you're keeping track. How thoughtful.
00:03:58Still, I'd like to have another.
00:04:00Steve, get over here.
00:04:02I have to get some more rigs out of the cooler.
00:04:04Better hurry, Stevie.
00:04:06Don't want to take off the boss man.
00:04:08Brandon, Nat loves me.
00:04:10Okay, this is working out great.
00:04:12Come on, Sanders.
00:04:14I'm not paying you to socialize.
00:04:16Chop, chop.
00:04:17Coming.
00:04:22Ah, look at that.
00:04:24Poetry in motion.
00:04:27Brandon, can I talk to you?
00:04:29Yeah, sure.
00:04:31Alone?
00:04:33Yeah, okay.
00:04:40It's not working out with Steve.
00:04:43Oh, no?
00:04:45I don't know how to break it to him.
00:04:47Maybe you should just tell him the truth, Nat.
00:04:49I'm sure he can take it.
00:04:51I can't even figure out why he wants this job.
00:04:53It's not like he needs the money.
00:04:55It's...
00:04:57It's like he's got something to prove, you know?
00:05:04Maybe you should give him another chance, huh?
00:05:06Yeah, you're right.
00:05:08I mean, he is trying hard.
00:05:14Oh, jeez, you're killing me.
00:05:15Steve!
00:05:17Can't you try to be a little more careful?
00:05:25Omelets, anyone?
00:05:34Thanks.
00:05:36So, what did you tell him exactly?
00:05:38I didn't tell them anything.
00:05:40They weren't home, so I just left.
00:05:42Great.
00:05:43Dylan?
00:05:45I don't want to see him.
00:05:47Fran...
00:05:49Look, Dylan, please, let me stay.
00:05:53Let me in, Dylan.
00:05:55Don't make me go back, I can't.
00:06:06Where is she?
00:06:08She doesn't want to see you.
00:06:10That's too bad.
00:06:11You tell her to get her things and come out here.
00:06:14I'm sorry, I can't do that.
00:06:23I'm not leaving, Daddy.
00:06:25You get your bags, young lady, we're going home.
00:06:28No.
00:06:30Not until you accept Dylan as part of my life.
00:06:34We'll talk about it at home.
00:06:37That's not good enough.
00:06:42I'm not leaving without my daughter.
00:06:44It's between you and Brenda.
00:06:46This is my house.
00:06:48I have to ask you to leave.
00:06:50Brenda, you come out here right now!
00:06:55So, what are you going to do?
00:06:57You're going to go down there and drag her out, kicking and screaming?
00:06:59That's what this has come to?
00:07:03Dylan, whatever this has come to, it hasn't come to that.
00:07:11I'm sorry.
00:07:32Shift over so soon, Stevie?
00:07:37Here.
00:07:39What's this?
00:07:41Don't rub it in.
00:07:44Got fired already?
00:07:47Must be some kind of record.
00:07:49I didn't get fired, I quit.
00:07:51You quit on a bet?
00:07:56Okay, I got fired.
00:07:59Well, you're right, I'm just not cut out for this kind of stuff.
00:08:03Well, Steve, look at it this way.
00:08:07You may be a lousy waiter,
00:08:08but you're a damn good customer.
00:08:11That's right.
00:08:13And tomorrow, first thing at that beach,
00:08:15I'm going to have you waiting on me, the way it should be.
00:08:18I'll return to the natural order.
00:08:20We can all rest easier now.
00:08:28You still up?
00:08:30Yeah, come on in.
00:08:33I just dropped Don off at home and you'll never believe what we walked in on.
00:08:36What?
00:08:38Her parents were going at it in the living room.
00:08:40Another big fight?
00:08:42No, they were half naked.
00:08:44You're kidding me.
00:08:46No, so I guess the whole divorce thing is off.
00:08:48Wow, well, I guess Donna doesn't have any more excuses left.
00:08:51No, she's going to Paris.
00:08:54You don't sound very happy about that.
00:08:57I'm going to miss her.
00:08:59I may even miss you too.
00:09:01Kelly?
00:09:03Yeah, you going to bed, Mom?
00:09:04Not exactly. My water just broke.
00:09:06Oh, man, I don't know if we can get a plumber this late.
00:09:08You idiot, she's going into labor. Move.
00:09:10What? Where's my dad?
00:09:12I just called him in the car. He's stuck in traffic.
00:09:14Well, what do we do? Boil water or something?
00:09:16No, you go get the car. Just go get the car.
00:09:19Okay, you all right?
00:09:21I'm fine. I'm having a baby.
00:09:23Okay, let's go get your stuff. Your suitcase is in here.
00:09:25I know it is.
00:09:34Are you all right?
00:09:36I don't want to lose her, Jim.
00:09:39We're not going to lose her.
00:09:42We'll figure this out.
00:09:46Hey, what's going on? Where's Bren?
00:09:49Where do you think?
00:09:53What?
00:09:55She moved out. To Dillon's.
00:09:57And you let her?
00:09:59Oh, we didn't have much choice.
00:10:01I didn't think it would come to this.
00:10:03None of us did.
00:10:06So, uh, what are you going to do?
00:10:11I don't know.
00:10:13Do you have any suggestions?
00:10:19Well, uh, I don't know.
00:10:22I don't know.
00:10:24I don't know.
00:10:26I don't know.
00:10:28I don't know.
00:10:31For starters, I think you two should really look at this situation a little differently.
00:10:37Now, I tried not to get involved. I didn't want to.
00:10:41But I got to tell you,
00:10:44I think most of your problems with Dillon don't really have that much to do with Dillon.
00:11:01Are you coming to bed?
00:11:04In a minute.
00:11:14What's wrong?
00:11:17I can't sleep with you tonight.
00:11:20Why not?
00:11:23Because I'm going to lie there.
00:11:25I'm going to close my eyes and all I'm going to see are my parents watching me.
00:11:28Brenda.
00:11:30Zack, I can't get away from them.
00:11:33I feel so guilty for leaving. It must be killing them.
00:11:37It's okay.
00:11:39I'll just sleep out here.
00:11:42You need to get some rest.
00:11:45I'm sorry I feel like such a little kid.
00:11:48Don't worry about it.
00:11:55I love you.
00:11:56I love you, too.
00:11:59Now, go on. Get to bed.
00:12:17Good night.
00:12:19Good night.
00:12:26Good night.
00:12:56Good night.
00:13:56Good night.
00:13:57Good night.
00:13:58Good night.
00:13:59Good night.
00:14:00Good night.
00:14:01Good night.
00:14:02Good night.
00:14:03Good night.
00:14:04Good night.
00:14:05Good night.
00:14:06Good night.
00:14:07Good night.
00:14:08Good night.
00:14:09Good night.
00:14:10Good night.
00:14:11Good night.
00:14:12Good night.
00:14:13Good night.
00:14:14Good night.
00:14:15Good night.
00:14:16Good night.
00:14:17Good night.
00:14:18Good night.
00:14:19Good night.
00:14:20Good night.
00:14:21Good night.
00:14:22Good night.
00:14:23Good night.
00:14:24Good night.
00:14:26Huh?
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00:17:55Huh?
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00:18:41Oh
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00:21:30Obra da Hrvatska Radio Television
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00:22:11The two princesses are organising a draw for the Miss on Star TV.
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00:30:35When a man turns 40 and begins to take measure of himself, I must admit I don't like what
00:30:47I see.
00:30:48You're turning 43.
00:30:50If you don't mind, I'm trying to appear vulnerable
00:30:53to facilitate my snorkeling up your thighbone later.
00:30:58Alan, you boyfriend, me girlfriend.
00:31:02You have a season's pass.
00:31:03You're ruining the conquest part,
00:31:05which is all that's really about for me.
00:31:08Really?
00:31:09Well, how about a little play-acting then?
00:31:12Only if this time I get to be the sheep.
00:31:16I'm gonna sit over there
00:31:18and pretend to be alone.
00:31:19And you're gonna approach me being the stranger that you are
00:31:22and conquest me.
00:31:23Oh, don't be silly.
00:31:24No, I'd like to see how you operate, Mr. Shaw.
00:31:45How you doing?
00:31:48Fine, thank you.
00:31:50I'm Joe.
00:31:52I'm with somebody.
00:31:54Who?
00:31:55Hello. I'm a complete stranger,
00:31:57and I'm here to pick you up.
00:32:01Oh, I see. There's two of us.
00:32:03I'll be evens, you be odds.
00:32:05You got a problem?
00:32:07No, actually.
00:32:08I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk,
00:32:12and since I'm an arborist, I thought I could help translate.
00:32:15Here's a health tip.
00:32:17Walk away.
00:32:18Why would I do that?
00:32:19All right, guys.
00:32:20Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance.
00:32:23Excuse me. I actually am with him.
00:32:26I don't care. Walk away, or I lay you out.
00:32:29I don't mean to be a stickler,
00:32:31but isn't the object to lay her out?
00:32:33Hey!
00:32:34Hey!
00:32:35Oh, gee, I'm sorry. I was reaching for my wallet.
00:32:38I see.
00:32:40Allow me to reach for mine.
00:32:46Are you all right?
00:32:47Fine.
00:32:48Hello, big people.
00:32:50Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping.
00:32:53Here's $300.
00:32:54Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there?
00:32:59Really?
00:33:00Alan.
00:33:01There's an extra hundred if he goes down.
00:33:05You're on.
00:33:06Make it a good one.
00:33:07Oh, for God's sakes.
00:33:16Nice!
00:33:21Here's $100. Go help your friend.
00:33:30Gee, it seems Joe has buddies.
00:33:32One for you, one for you.
00:33:34I got plenty of them.
00:33:37Hit him hard now.
00:33:38For you and for you.
00:33:45Oh!
00:33:46Oh!
00:33:47Oh!
00:33:48Oh!
00:33:49Oh!
00:33:50Oh!
00:33:51Oh!
00:33:52Oh!
00:33:53Oh!
00:33:54Oh!
00:33:55Oh!
00:33:56Oh!
00:33:57Oh!
00:33:58Oh!
00:33:59Oh!
00:34:00Oh!
00:34:01Oh!
00:34:02Oh!
00:34:03Oh!
00:34:04Oh!
00:34:05Oh!
00:34:06Oh!
00:34:07Oh!
00:34:08Oh!
00:34:09Oh!
00:34:10Oh!
00:34:11Oh!
00:34:12Oh!
00:34:13Oh!
00:34:14Oh!
00:34:15Oh!
00:34:16Oh!
00:34:17Oh!
00:34:18Oh!
00:34:19Oh!
00:34:20Oh!
00:34:21Oh!
00:34:22Oh!
00:34:23Oh!
00:34:24Oh!
00:34:25Oh!
00:34:26Oh!
00:34:27Oh!
00:34:28Oh!
00:34:29Oh!
00:34:30Oh!
00:34:31Oh!
00:34:32Oh!
00:34:33Oh!
00:34:34Oh!
00:34:35Oh!
00:34:36Oh!
00:34:37Oh!
00:34:38Oh!
00:34:39Oh!
00:34:40You don't think the evening was slightly symptomatic of something?
00:34:41You take me to a college frat bar and you start a fight.
00:34:42I did not start it.
00:34:43Why, aren't you clever. I bet you'll make detective one day.
00:34:48Was my calling him Alan a clue?
00:34:50Please place your hands behind your back.
00:34:53Why?
00:34:54Sir, please, you're under arrest for conspiracy to commit assault and battery.
00:34:58You have the right to remain silent.
00:35:00You have it all memorized, aren't you? The spiffy jiffy.
00:35:03And a sharp dresser.
00:35:05You have the right to an attorney.
00:35:07If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you.
00:35:10Not to worry, dear. I'll cancel the rest of your day.
00:35:12The rest of your day.
00:35:24And in an unprecedented, if not bizarre, move,
00:35:27the selectmen of Summersport, Massachusetts, a small south shore town,
00:35:30population 18,000, voted 6 to 2 yesterday to ban red meat.
00:35:35As of midnight, it is now illegal to serve or sell beef within the township.
00:35:40Mayor George Bostwick calling the law a health and safety regulation.
00:35:44Gah, health and safety.
00:35:46Did they not call a town meeting to discuss this?
00:35:48Well, they did. And nobody really took it that seriously.
00:35:51But the mayor controls the selectmen.
00:35:53And this is exactly the publicity he's hoping to buy.
00:35:56In the meantime, my steakhouse is out of business.
00:35:59How can you ban red meat?
00:36:01Well, they got a whole campaign. They're gonna go with it.
00:36:03They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world.
00:36:07When the Pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians.
00:36:12Is there anything we can do?
00:36:13We'll get an immediate T.R.O.
00:36:15I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat.
00:36:17I cannot pass constitutional mustard.
00:36:20The word is mustard, Denny, but you're right. The law lacks condiments.
00:36:24Let's mark up a motion and get going and let's do it in Suffolk.
00:36:27We should contact the owners of the other affected restaurants and have them join us.
00:36:32Three, two, seven, four, four.
00:36:34Commonwealth versus Ellen Shore.
00:36:36Conspiracy to commit battery.
00:36:38Tara Wilson for the defendant, your honor. We'll waive reading.
00:36:40I shouldn't think there'll be any question of bail.
00:36:42What have we got here?
00:36:43He paid some guys in a bar to assault another guy.
00:36:45Judge, the guy insulted my honor.
00:36:47I was required by the canons of barroom conduct to respond.
00:36:50This being America, I simply enlisted unsuspecting warriors
00:36:53who had no idea what I was getting them into.
00:36:55Was anybody hurt?
00:36:56Cuts and bruises. There was some damage to the bar.
00:36:58My suggestion is we admit sufficient facts.
00:37:00You continue it without a finding.
00:37:02My client makes full restitution to the bar.
00:37:04That's not gonna fly.
00:37:05It was self-defense. Mr. Shore was hit.
00:37:07The fact that he hired others to do the hitting back doesn't preclude...
00:37:10You want a not guilty counsel? You need a trial.
00:37:13We could do it today.
00:37:15You're ready to proceed now.
00:37:17I'll stipulate to all the facts in the police report,
00:37:19though I must take issue with some of the spelling.
00:37:23If he steps to the facts, I could be ready tomorrow.
00:37:26If he steps to the facts, I could be ready tomorrow.
00:37:28Jury trial, of course.
00:37:29I can provide the court with a list of my closest peers.
00:37:32I leave for Aspen on Wednesday, so we will complete this in one day.
00:37:36Ten o'clock tomorrow, the defendant is released on personal recognizance.
00:37:40Mr. Shore...
00:37:43It would be a big mistake to come in here thinking this is funny.
00:37:51You mean it's not funny?
00:37:57You cannot just ban red meat.
00:38:00Any municipality can pass reasonable health regulations.
00:38:02Ah, yes. Let's just pause on that word, reasonable.
00:38:04Many towns are dry, forbidding the sale of alcohol.
00:38:06There is an enormous difference between the sale...
00:38:08Hold on one second, Ms. Schmidt.
00:38:10In my courtroom, we allow counsel to finish their thoughts. We do not...
00:38:13If I could interrupt.
00:38:15The author of this particular and preposterous legislation
00:38:18happens to be both politically ambitious and a glutton for publicity,
00:38:21which this new law funny thing happens to be generating.
00:38:24Red meat poses legitimate health concerns.
00:38:26So do overzealous elected officials. We don't just ban them. If only we could.
00:38:30Now, I shall do the interrupting.
00:38:32If nothing else, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact-finder.
00:38:35Oh, brother.
00:38:38Mr. Crane, did you say something?
00:38:40It's a stupid law. Overturn it. Be a man.
00:38:45Mr. Crane was trying to be helpful. Apparently, he did not succeed.
00:38:49What is the reason specifically for your client banning the sale of red meat?
00:38:52Bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
00:38:58Mad cow disease.
00:38:59We're fearful of an outbreak.
00:39:00In Somersport?
00:39:01Everywhere.
00:39:02That's ridiculous.
00:39:03Very well. We shall hold an evidentiary hearing.
00:39:05First person I shall hear from is the mayor.
00:39:07Then, Ms. Schmidt, if you so desire, I shall listen to your client.
00:39:11Until then, we are adjourned.
00:39:12Put on a dress.
00:39:15Two o'clock.
00:39:16Two o'clock.
00:39:22What are you doing?
00:39:23I know this jet. I know where his buttons are.
00:39:26Research shows, Denny, it's not wise to antagonize the people whose favor you're trying to court.
00:39:31Oh, come on, Shirley.
00:39:32You still antagonize me, and we both know what's really going on, don't we?
00:39:38You sweet man.
00:39:42It's been a long time since you hit my button.
00:39:46I doubt you'd even know where to find it.
00:39:51Just a matter of time, Shirley. Just a matter of time.
00:39:57This doesn't involve you, man. It's sexual.
00:40:00I thought you said the judge would strike the law down.
00:40:02It just got a little tougher, Dominic.
00:40:04They played the mad cow card.
00:40:17V.P. Music Festival presents
00:40:20The Prodigy, Nick Cave and the Band Seeds,
00:40:23Serge Tankian, Stereo, MCs,
00:40:26Hot Chip, Amadou and Mariam,
00:40:28Tina Riven, The Goal Team,
00:40:30and many more.
00:40:313rd and 4th of July, January, Zagreb.
00:40:41Sometimes a mayor has to do what's right, even if it isn't popular.
00:40:44Red meat presents risks which I, as the guardian of my constituency, am unwilling to assume.
00:40:50If legislation is capricious on its face, that'll be our only comment at this time.
00:40:54Pop goes the weasel.
00:40:56How are you, Danny Crane?
00:40:57Still cuckoo for Bishop Benson.
00:40:59Who's your daddy?
00:41:00Danny Crane.
00:41:01Pop goes the weasel.
00:41:04Simply put, I don't think we can guarantee the safety of beef.
00:41:07Why not?
00:41:08Well, for starters, we just lifted the ban on Canadian cattle,
00:41:11where mad cow disease was just found again.
00:41:15The percentage of mad cow in Canada is statistically...
00:41:18But why take chances? Consider this disease.
00:41:21It's incurable. It rots the brain.
00:41:23It's invariably fatal and it's a painful death.
00:41:26But our government has assured us there's absolutely no danger in this.
00:41:30Our government is pro-beef. Are you kidding?
00:41:32In the last five years, the agriculture business has donated $140 million
00:41:39to congressional and presidential candidates.
00:41:42Fast food chains, the Cattlemen's Beef Association, you name it,
00:41:45they've all given big bucks.
00:41:46But the Department of Agriculture says that.
00:41:48Oh, please. The USDA is in the meat industry's back pocket.
00:41:51What evidence do you have of that?
00:41:53You want evidence?
00:41:54How about the last secretary of agriculture appointed meat industry advocates
00:41:58to top jobs at the USDA?
00:42:00How about the secretary's former chief of staff used to be
00:42:04the chief lobbyist for the National Cattlemen's Beef Association?
00:42:08The USDA has been bought.
00:42:10Pretty strong words, Mr. Postwick.
00:42:12Oprah got sued for saying less.
00:42:14What does that tell you?
00:42:15The meat industry gets to sue a talk show host for putting down a hamburger?
00:42:18Free speech doesn't apply when it comes to beef?
00:42:20Well, certainly the USDA has an interest in making meat safe.
00:42:24But they have a double mandate, Your Honor.
00:42:26And while one may be to keep beef safe,
00:42:28the other, the bigger one, is to promote the sale of American meat.
00:42:32You think there's a real interest in this country in rooting out mad cow disease?
00:42:36It's don't ask, don't tell.
00:42:37Objection.
00:42:38This past April, a cow stumbled and fell in Texas.
00:42:41The vets suspected a central nervous system disorder.
00:42:44That animal should have been tested.
00:42:46It wasn't.
00:42:47It was quickly slaughtered and put into pig feed.
00:42:49Why? Because God forbid we discover mad cow disease.
00:42:52It'd cost billions and billions of dollars.
00:42:55Well, I'm not going to wait.
00:42:56If that gets me sued, so be it.
00:42:59How many people in this country have been afflicted with the human strain of mad cow disease?
00:43:03I don't plan to...
00:43:04To wait, yes. How many?
00:43:05We don't know.
00:43:06There have been no confirmed cases.
00:43:08According to some scientists, many people we think have Alzheimer's could, in fact, be sick from mad cow.
00:43:13Are you a scientist, sir?
00:43:14No.
00:43:15Before you became mayor, what was your occupation?
00:43:17I owned auto dealerships.
00:43:18You were a car salesman.
00:43:20Given that three million people are getting sick from mad cow disease,
00:43:24You were a car salesman.
00:43:26Given that three million people are killed or injured on our roads every year,
00:43:30do you also plan to ban automobiles?
00:43:32No.
00:43:33What about salmonella? Any plans to criminalize chickens?
00:43:35People don't die from chickens or...
00:43:37What about mercury in fish?
00:43:39It's a concern.
00:43:40But again, I made a judgment as mayor, and the selectmen concurred that the dangers of beef...
00:43:45Have you any personal political ambitions beyond that of being mayor of Summersport?
00:43:50I'm not trying to get headlines, if that's what you're saying.
00:43:52I didn't say that, but funny you did.
00:43:55Have you got anything?
00:43:59You would agree, Mr. Mayor, that by and large, vegetarians are communists.
00:44:03I certainly would not.
00:44:05We're at war, Mr. Bostwick.
00:44:07Think we can win that war if we suddenly say to our soldiers, no more meat?
00:44:10Think a nation of fish eaters can protect the world, you wimp?
00:44:13Objection.
00:44:14Withdrawn. Nothing further.
00:44:16What the hell are you doing?
00:44:19Don't bother with the merits, Shirley. In this case, it's all about the judge.
00:44:50You asked to see us.
00:44:52Sit.
00:44:54Not to worry, this is standard.
00:44:56He purposely doesn't look up. It's a technique taught in the 40s for establishing dominion.
00:45:08You were involved in a bar altercation last night.
00:45:12Altercation? I think not. It was a brawl.
00:45:15And you were arrested.
00:45:17I was. Trial starts tomorrow, actually.
00:45:20Can I count on you as a character witness?
00:45:23Who's defending you?
00:45:25I'm representing myself, with Tara's assistance.
00:45:29There's no opportunity to plead this out?
00:45:32Only if I plead guilty, which is, of course, unacceptable.
00:45:35I have to worry about a three strikes law, since I plan to commit future crimes.
00:45:40I don't know what kind of career death wish you have, Mr. Shaw,
00:45:45but if you're convicted, if you get time, your employment will be terminated.
00:45:49That may be of little consequence to you.
00:45:51If I had a nickel for every time you've threatened to fire me, Paul, I could simply retire.
00:45:56Alan, cut it out.
00:45:59It is not my habit to lecture.
00:46:04But what if I did?
00:46:06It is not my habit to lecture.
00:46:10But what you did last night was selfish.
00:46:14We have a reputation here at Crane Pool and Schmidt.
00:46:18The attorneys here take great pride in that reputation.
00:46:22It undermines everyone at Crane Pool and Schmidt when a lawyer here is criminally prosecuted.
00:46:29Your actions hurt people.
00:46:32All of us must now tender explanations to our friends, our colleagues,
00:46:39to safeguard and repair the reputation of Crane Pool and Schmidt.
00:46:45Stop it!
00:46:51I've had it.
00:46:55Do you hear me? I have had it.
00:46:57Get out, both of you.
00:47:28Okay.
00:47:31Personally, I would never eat meat.
00:47:33Why, doctor?
00:47:34We don't have the means to keep track of what cattle are being fed,
00:47:37nor are we adequately testing them, in my opinion.
00:47:39Your Honor, I object to paranoia being offered as evidence.
00:47:42I'm sorry, but it's absolutely reckless for a government to be telling us we're safe
00:47:46when the scientific community can't necessarily detect all the ways this disease can be contracted or transmitted.
00:47:52But let's look at statistics.
00:47:54Nobody in this country seems to be getting sick from mad cows.
00:47:58Judge, we just can't know that.
00:48:00The disease may have an incubation period of up to 40 years.
00:48:03You may be infected right now.
00:48:05My point is, nobody now seems to be demonstrating symptoms.
00:48:10We don't know that for sure, either.
00:48:12The human strain of the mad cow disease is called Creutzfeldt-Jakob.
00:48:16We call it CJD.
00:48:17But you can also get CJD sporadically, with no link to infected meat.
00:48:22And some of the people we've diagnosed with Alzheimer's might, in fact, have CJD.
00:48:27We don't know how many cases there really are.
00:48:30You cannot tell me the government has all this figured out.
00:48:33And the government just covers this up?
00:48:35Well, it's probably not so much a cover-up.
00:48:37It's just we're not terribly motivated to discover the problem.
00:48:40The economic consequences would be too severe.
00:48:42Economic consequences?
00:48:43The beef industry would risk an outbreak of mad cow disease.
00:48:46That wouldn't bankrupt them overnight.
00:48:48The beef industry can't always tell when a cow is sick.
00:48:51And they're desperate to believe that isolated cases are isolated cases.
00:48:54And the Department of Agriculture just plays along.
00:48:57The month after that sick cow was found in Washington State,
00:49:00mad cow testing dropped almost 50%.
00:49:04That's outrageous.
00:49:05It eventually went up.
00:49:06Look, they tried to track the herd where that Washington cow came from.
00:49:09They couldn't find 53 of the 80 cows.
00:49:12They've since admitted their cattle trackback system isn't up and running.
00:49:15And it would have to be done on a voluntary basis.
00:49:18Voluntary.
00:49:20Please.
00:49:21What meatpacking plant wants the distinction of having a mad cow?
00:49:27Which is why I order the fish.
00:49:33Denny.
00:49:34Hmm?
00:49:35I'm getting my ass kicked here.
00:49:36I can see that.
00:49:37Any suggestions?
00:49:43How old are you, sir?
00:49:4446.
00:49:45I'm 72. I can mop the floor with you. You know why?
00:49:47I eat meat.
00:49:49Makes me strong. Builds my immune system.
00:49:51Fights off a whole bunch of other diseases I might have had if I weren't so strong.
00:49:56Red meat saves lives, maybe.
00:49:59You ever think about that?
00:50:00I'm sorry, but there's no real evidence to support that opinion.
00:50:04Oh. Sorry.
00:50:06Any hard evidence to support yours?
00:50:10Hard evidence, no.
00:50:14But I don't think we really want to wait for that evidence to come rushing in.
00:50:20Ow!
00:50:23I am there.
00:50:25Right to the end.
00:50:30He basically offered us $100 to fight.
00:50:33You took the money.
00:50:34Yes.
00:50:35And you fought.
00:50:36Yes.
00:50:37Thank you, sir.
00:50:41Interesting. We agree to stipulate to the facts and the prosecution sees fit to distort them just the same.
00:50:45Objection!
00:50:46Mr. Edwards, I didn't say, here's $100, go fight, did I?
00:50:49Well...
00:50:50Did I not first ask your friend Mike to avenge an assault committed against me?
00:50:53Yes.
00:50:54And then when Mike was attacked, I enlisted you and others to go to his aid, did I not?
00:50:58Yes.
00:50:59And the man who first assaulted me had many colleagues who joined the fray, did he not?
00:51:03Yes.
00:51:04In fact, Joe's friends first turned it into a brawl, wouldn't you say?
00:51:06Yes.
00:51:07And as a friend of Mike's, is it your testimony you would not have gone to his aid had I not offered you money?
00:51:14No, I would have probably jumped in anyway at that point.
00:51:16Well, given your honest and forthright testimony, which has shed blinding light on what happened in the bar that night,
00:51:21would you now consider yourself a witness more for the prosecution or the defense?
00:51:27Um, I guess defense?
00:51:30Thank you, Mr. Edwards. You deserve another $100.
00:51:44We're going to lose?
00:51:45It hasn't gone well. Surely you've noticed.
00:51:47My grandfather started this steakhouse. How can... I just can't believe it.
00:51:52Well, it isn't over yet. We still have summations, but...
00:51:59I'll tell you this one more time. Play the judge.
00:52:02The man lives with his mother. He wears lifts. The buzzword is Nancy Pansy.
00:52:07I beg your pardon?
00:52:08Nancy Pansy? He doesn't want to fall on that side of the fence. It's even worse than Namby Pamby.
00:52:15What are you talking about?
00:52:16Trust me, Shirley.
00:52:19For once, can you do that?
00:52:23Nancy Pansy.
00:52:35I was thinking perhaps I should close.
00:52:37Don't be ridiculous.
00:52:38I'm sorry?
00:52:39No offense, Tara, but since I handled the witness, the jury will be expecting...
00:52:42Did you see the faces on the jury?
00:52:45They weren't impressed. They found you smug. You were perhaps too self-satisfied to notice.
00:52:52Are we at a certain point in our cycle, Tara?
00:52:59I apologize.
00:53:01Do you? That's a first.
00:53:08Say what you must.
00:53:11I was hugely embarrassed by what happened at the bar. Not to mention terrified.
00:53:15I could have been injured. Did that ever occur to you?
00:53:17I mean, it would have been one thing had you had a Neanderthal reaction and swung back, but your response was considered.
00:53:23You reflectively, calmly orchestrated your violence.
00:53:27People could have been hurt. I could have been hurt.
00:53:31But you've not once considered that, because contrary to the rumor that you are the center of the universe, clearly you are the universe.
00:53:39And I, for one, am getting sick of it.
00:54:01Alan Shore's a good lawyer, Paul. If we fire him, it does leave a hole.
00:54:12I am certainly mindful of that, but how far do we let him push us?
00:54:16He has done this at every firm he has worked for. He defies them to the point his last firm sued him.
00:54:22Yes, and he went on. They didn't.
00:54:25Schmidt, called?
00:54:27Jelena, I called you three hours ago. Where have you been?
00:54:30Patriot's Parade.
00:54:31The Patriot's Parade was last week.
00:54:33Three Super Bowls, four years. I'm still on parade.
00:54:37You worked on that Yanetti meatpacking case last year, didn't you?
00:54:41Yes.
00:54:42What do you know about that cow in Washington State?
00:54:46I'm about to suffer an embarrassing defeat in court. I need to show that what happened in Washington was an isolated...
00:54:52Don't go near the Washington case. It's possible it wasn't even a downer cow.
00:54:57What do you mean, downer cow?
00:54:59Basically, it means the cow fell down. We're told that the mad cows are easy to spot because they stumble and fall.
00:55:06We were told that this cow fell, but eyewitnesses in Washington say the cow was walking and was tested only as a fluke.
00:55:14Which means?
00:55:15While we're being told that the sick cows show easily detectable symptoms...
00:55:20They sometimes don't and therefore go undetected.
00:55:24Stay away from the Washington case.
00:55:27Thank you, Jelena.
00:55:29You're welcome.
00:55:34Pardon the expression, but I'm dead meat.
00:55:37You really think you're going to lose?
00:55:39I'm tempted to employ Denny's strategy.
00:55:43Which is?
00:55:46Nancy Pansy.
00:55:51All I know is he instigated the brawl. The charge is conspiracy to commit aggravated assault.
00:55:55You're talking about me, Brad?
00:55:58Yeah, we're just trying to imagine you as the instigator.
00:56:01What's that supposed to mean?
00:56:06Sorry. Forget it.
00:56:08No, let's not forget it. How about you say what you have to say, or is that too monumental an effort completing whole sentences?
00:56:14Come on, Alan.
00:56:15You want to talk about me, Laurie? Perhaps you should reposition yourself behind my back. Isn't that the rule of the game?
00:56:19I don't talk about you behind your back.
00:56:21You're not that interesting.
00:56:23I'm tired of this. Got that?
00:56:28I don't know what's going on with you, sport, but you're certainly smart enough to realize that I could probably dismember you in about the time...
00:56:37Then do it.
00:56:38Cut it out.
00:56:39What the hell is going on?
00:56:40Careful, Tara. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.
00:56:42Listen to me. Talking to others as if I weren't the only one in the universe. When will I learn?
00:56:47No, when will we learn?
00:56:49That you are always right.
00:56:53That it makes sense to start a barroom brawl. That it's perfectly reasonable to get into a shoving match at the office.
00:57:00Nothing could be going on with you.
00:57:05When will we learn?
00:57:10Get help.
00:57:23We had an expression in this country years ago called, where's the beef? Translation, where's the substance?
00:57:31Your Honor, do you know anybody who's been victimized by mad cow disease?
00:57:37Know anybody who knows anybody?
00:57:40Know anybody who knows anybody who knows anybody?
00:57:45There's simply not a shred of evidence to suggest that a single person in this country has ever become ill from a mad cow.
00:57:54But why wait? That's the mayor's jingle.
00:57:58Why wait?
00:58:00Because this man and others like him have sacrificed their lives and their livelihoods building their restaurants.
00:58:08Maybe as a courtesy, we could wait for a scintilla of evidence before arbitrarily destroying their businesses.
00:58:16The fact is, the USDA has done an exemplary job conducting tests, establishing safeguards to prevent the outbreak of mad cow disease, which is probably why it hasn't broken out.
00:58:27Well, we could give in to our fear and panic, baseless panic, but that would make us...
00:58:39a nation of Nancy Pansies.
00:58:42I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a Nancy Pansy.
00:58:48Towns make rules all the time.
00:58:50Lots of them zone fast food restaurants out of business.
00:58:53Through permits, they can control how you build your house.
00:58:58Some towns ban alcohol, cigarettes. Others have curfews.
00:59:03We do all kinds of things.
00:59:05The only legal requirement is that the laws are reasonable.
00:59:09It is not unreasonable to fear and panic.
00:59:13The laws are reasonable.
00:59:15It is not unreasonable to fear an outbreak of mad cow disease.
00:59:20We've had a case in Washington State.
00:59:22Another, last month in Canada.
00:59:25We just lifted the ban on Canadian beef.
00:59:28The incubation period for this disease could be decades.
00:59:32We have no guarantee that we're not already infected.
00:59:35It is simply reckless for the government to be injecting certainty when the scientific community cannot.
00:59:42And forget mad cow.
00:59:43We already know that eating beef can cause high cholesterol, heart disease.
00:59:48It increases the risk of colon cancer.
00:59:50There's listeria and E. coli, which has already killed people.
00:59:54Dioxin, the poison that almost killed the Ukrainian president.
00:59:58That stuff is on our grazing grass.
01:00:02Scientists say the average American has about ten units of dioxin in their blood fat,
01:00:07simply from eating animal fat.
01:00:10There are all kinds of reasonable justifications for a mayor
01:00:16to try to reduce red meat from the diet of his citizenry.
01:00:19And let me remind you.
01:00:21There is nothing, nothing in the Constitution
01:00:26that guarantees anybody the right to sell a hamburger.
01:00:41Hey, give me your credit.
01:00:58This wasn't self-defense.
01:01:00Mr. Schor was not under any physical threat when he paid the first man to fight.
01:01:04This was vengeance for hire.
01:01:07And once that violence began, he started paying others to escalate it.
01:01:10These facts are not in dispute.
01:01:13The only real question for you here is,
01:01:16is Mr. Schor above the law or not?
01:01:32I've been accused of reflectively,
01:01:36perhaps even glibly,
01:01:39orchestrating a little revenge.
01:01:42Well, I guess that's how I wanted it to look.
01:01:46A man punched me in the face,
01:01:49in front of my girlfriend.
01:01:52And while my instinct was to hit him back,
01:01:56the truth is, I was afraid.
01:02:00I was fearful that if I retaliated,
01:02:04he would beat me up.
01:02:09So I got somebody else to do my fighting.
01:02:12Then things got out of hand.
01:02:16And, well, I had to send more and more troops
01:02:23to a war that should have ended quickly.
01:02:27But make no mistake.
01:02:29My reaction that night was not so much reflective
01:02:35as it was...
01:02:39primal.
01:02:42A man hit me.
01:02:45And while we like to think of ourselves
01:02:50as being evolved,
01:02:54maybe I should have just hit him.
01:02:59There's a warrior that lies within the belly of every man,
01:03:05a warrior who, in my case, has always gone unsatisfied.
01:03:10I tried to satisfy him, but without pain.
01:03:14That's what the craven do sometimes.
01:03:18They stand out of the fray,
01:03:21thump their egos along with their chests,
01:03:26and let others do the fighting.
01:03:51Well, thank you all for staying late.
01:04:05I did some research of my own.
01:04:08As you may know, I pride myself on being a conscientious fact finder.
01:04:12Here we go.
01:04:16Mad cow disease is here.
01:04:18And for all the guarantees supplied by the government,
01:04:21the scientific community doesn't back them up.
01:04:23We all have a right to be concerned.
01:04:26The governmental agencies in place to protect us
01:04:29seem to be controlled by the industries we need protection from.
01:04:33This mad cow disease started out in Europe and it worked its way over here.
01:04:36And it is true, the scientists are at odds with our government.
01:04:40But as a trier of fact, a judge must rely on facts.
01:04:46And there is no evidence of an epidemic.
01:04:50If a judge were to allow himself to be governed by fear alone,
01:04:53well, then it is true and I agree.
01:04:55It would make him a...
01:04:58Nancy Pansy.
01:05:01This judge is anything but.
01:05:04I find the law banning the sale of red meat to be premature,
01:05:07if not capricious, and it is hereby overturned.
01:05:10Way to go, Jarrett.
01:05:13Case adjourned.
01:05:17Anybody up for a burger?
01:05:21Thank God.
01:05:26Well, Denny, I admit I had my doubts.
01:05:29But you won this case. Thank you.
01:05:32Does this mean we're having sex tonight?
01:05:36Allow me the dream a little longer.
01:05:41I won the day.
01:05:43I deserve to be rewarded.
01:05:46I'll give you this.
01:05:51Denny.
01:05:52Denny.
01:05:54Denny.
01:05:56Crane.
01:06:01Oh.
01:06:06Oh, my God.
01:06:15I must be acquitted. She's not smiling.
01:06:18Madam foreperson, you've reached a unanimous verdict.
01:06:21We have, Your Honor.
01:06:22What say you?
01:06:24Commonwealth v. Alan Shore,
01:06:26on the count of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault,
01:06:29we find the defendant, Alan Shore, not guilty.
01:06:33We appeal, Judge.
01:06:37Members of the jury, this completes your service.
01:06:39You can go.
01:06:40Mr. Shore,
01:06:43this probably doesn't have to be goodbye so much as
01:06:47until we meet again.
01:06:49Yes, Your Honor.
01:06:53She's attracted to me.
01:06:56No doubt.
01:06:58Tara,
01:07:00I am sorry.
01:07:03I never meant to put you in any danger.
01:07:06I know.
01:07:10When you
01:07:15launched into that diatribe about me being the...
01:07:18The universe.
01:07:23You said you were sick of it.
01:07:28Are you sick of me?
01:07:34Are you sick of me, Tara?
01:07:39No.
01:07:50As much as I
01:07:54hold sentiment together with its expression,
01:07:59I cherish you.
01:08:04You should just know
01:08:11you really, really smell good.
01:08:16You smell good, too.
01:08:47How'd you do?
01:08:51Jury was out 15 minutes, not guilty.
01:08:54I think they took pity on me.
01:08:57Congratulations.
01:09:01I hear you won.
01:09:03Mm.
01:09:06Everything okay?
01:09:10I don't have Alzheimer's.
01:09:13I have mad cow disease.
01:09:18Well, it's nice to finally know.
01:09:27Ever beat up anybody with your bare hands?
01:09:31Many times.
01:09:35Why?
01:09:37Just asking.
01:09:40Does it give you?
01:09:44No.
01:09:48Well.
01:09:50Makes you a better man than I, I guess.
01:09:56I guess so.
01:10:10Mm.
01:10:15Mm.
01:10:20Mm.
01:10:25Next on Boston Legal.
01:10:27You so often refer to lawyers as unprincipled, soulless whores.
01:10:31Well, for the next few days, I need you to be my whore.
01:10:34The little man, he's here.
01:10:35Alan.
01:10:36Good gracious, who have you killed now?
01:10:37Donnie Crane.
01:10:38You remember me?
01:10:39I used to be father and son.
01:10:40You got on this case specifically because I'm on it.
01:10:42I did.
01:10:43You want to get me?
01:10:44I do.
01:10:45I love it.
01:11:10Houston.
01:11:17Houston.