Gogglebox S25E14
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00:00Nothing but a heartache
00:03Tell me why
00:04Ain't nothing but a mistake
00:07Tell me why
00:09I never want to hear you say
00:13I want it that way
00:17Hey!
00:18No, no, that's a wrap!
00:19That's a wrap!
00:23Yes!
00:25This is incriminating, let's listen.
00:28What?
00:30What just happened there?
00:31Hey, look, Vinny's perked up in that.
00:35You'd expect this in, like, a Hollywood blockbuster.
00:38Nah, nah, nah!
00:40No!
00:40That's not what I'm saying!
00:42Just bounce, Jane. Just bounce.
00:46Yes!
00:47Oh, I'd be doing great if I were an audience.
00:49Vinny's licking your vanilla slice!
00:51Have you got Trump fatigue yet?
00:53No, he's a great disruptor, Mary.
00:55In the week an old Soviet spaceship from 1972
00:59re-entered the Earth's atmosphere,
01:02we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:05Lads were locking lips on BBC Three.
01:09I guess it was good.
01:11I guess it was good.
01:12It just felt...
01:15I'm buzzed.
01:15You had to be trained up, didn't you?
01:17You were penciled like that.
01:20Was he?
01:21Before he kissed me, he used to lick his lips.
01:26It was anticipation.
01:27We were having a laugh at midlife meltdowns on Netflix.
01:31Why are we whispering about?
01:33How drunk are you right now?
01:35I'm at the good part,
01:37where I think I'm at my funniest,
01:39and you think I'm starting to get a little annoying.
01:42You know, I've always been such a big fan of Steve Carell.
01:45I would watch anything he's in.
01:46Yeah, I feel like he just makes bangers.
01:48Everything he's in is funny.
01:50My favourite is definitely The Spittle and Me.
01:54Why?
01:54Because you relate to Gwee.
01:57Yeah, that's what he used to call me all the time.
01:59Do you know, I know why he used to call me him.
02:01Because of my nose, innit?
02:03Because me and him both have runny noses.
02:06Yeah, and I have a hunchback.
02:07He used to walk.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Tonight, we steal the moon.
02:12And sex birds were showing us the ropes on Channel 4.
02:16I want to give you a little demo
02:17of what you might get to tease your appetites a little bit.
02:22Andre?
02:24We call it up against the wall.
02:26Oh, he's a shagger, if I've ever seen one.
02:27Yeah.
02:28With a top caught like that.
02:29He's the Rosemary Bates.
02:31He's having three or four shags a day.
02:33We've got Throbbing Hood coming through.
02:35Yeah.
02:35Did you see how I was walked today?
02:44In North London.
02:46Oh my, do you know how I just got back from Spain?
02:48How was it then?
02:49It was nice.
02:50I did a lot of solo bits on my own.
02:53I even got a Thai massage there.
02:54Sisters Amira and Amani.
02:57I think she was trying to figure out if I was a boy or a girl
02:59because I...
03:01She looked at me like this, like...
03:06Like, I think she was trying to figure out what I am.
03:12She was just like...
03:14That's so funny.
03:15And then I go...
03:17And then this is me trying to pop out my boobs a bit more.
03:19Yeah, just me.
03:21Just so she knows that I'm not all fat.
03:24This is why Mum tells you to wear dresses, Amira.
03:30On Wednesday night, there were more duos dashing around on BBC One.
03:34Are you ready to go racing, Sonnyman?
03:36Well, we'll be racing to Benidorm, won't we, in a month?
03:39Is it in a month?
03:40Yeah.
03:44I can go across all wheel, never mind across the world.
03:46No.
03:47In the programme, we met race leaders Brian and Melvin in Nepal.
03:51We're ahead of everybody else, so we can afford to spend a bit of time here.
03:55Yeah, but don't get cocky, though. This is where it goes wrong.
03:58God, the rapid analogy of life and these stories all wait for...
04:02Keen to immerse themselves in local life, Brian and Melvin plan to head west.
04:07That's the bandit bird. How much?
04:09One person is 700 rupees.
04:11700 rupees? What's that, that and...
04:13That's two.
04:14Well, it's two people.
04:15Well, if one is, er...
04:17One doggy.
04:171,400.
04:181,400 rupees!
04:22No discount there. I love that.
04:24If you do 1,000...
04:27Not a chance, mate.
04:29I hate it when I have to waggle.
04:31I have started doing it a bit, though.
04:32Have you?
04:33Yeah, yeah.
04:33I know, but that's really bad, Jenny. You can't do it in Tesco as a little...
04:36Not here, I don't do it.
04:39He's gone 1,500.
04:40What?
04:411,500? He just said he was 1,400.
04:43What just happened?
04:44Hang on a second, yeah.
04:46What is it?
04:47Two pieces. 1,500.
04:48I was like, yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:51That's not good angling, that.
04:52That's the worst angling ever.
04:54What did he ask him first?
04:55He wanted 1,700 and he's agreed to do 1,500.
04:58Are you sure? I could have sworn he said 1,400.
05:01Did he?
05:03He did.
05:03He did?
05:04He's retired from financial advising now, has he?
05:07Yes, sadly.
05:10High above the valleys,
05:12Brian and Milvan are still in Bandipur.
05:15Oh, right, OK.
05:16Brian and Milvan are helping Sarjan with his morning chores.
05:20What are his chores, actually?
05:21I don't think it'll be just washing pots, do you?
05:26Clean inside.
05:26Clean?
05:27Yeah.
05:28Oh, they've got to clean the pigpen.
05:30Oh, they don't.
05:31If you're keen to do that, Milvan, you go for it.
05:34Brian's not keen.
05:36He's scared his gilet will get mucky.
05:41Do you know, if that were me and you,
05:42I'd be Milvan and you'd be Brian.
05:44You would say to me, right,
05:45you get that and don't ask us what.
05:47Are you joking?
05:48We all know that it would be me.
05:49You ought to be cancelled, you pig shit.
05:53Come, come, yeah, come.
05:54Here we go, Lee, what's the next job?
05:56What have I got to do?
05:57Yeah, yeah, dirty.
05:58Dirty?
05:59Yeah.
06:00What, with my hands?
06:01Yeah.
06:01Oh, wow.
06:02Come, come.
06:03Are you really?
06:04Oh, no!
06:05OK, I didn't expect that.
06:10It'll fucking break without a minute.
06:11I've got this one.
06:13Put it down.
06:14That's diggity.
06:15You're doing all right.
06:16Proud of you for picking up shit.
06:18It's going to need more than that little bucket of water
06:20to clean those hands.
06:22A few pumps of imperial leather at least.
06:24Right, come on then,
06:25when we're getting into the race again,
06:26I've forgotten about the race, haven't you?
06:29Two teams are closing in on the fourth checkpoint.
06:32Race for the finish.
06:33This is where it gets frantic, isn't it?
06:35On foot, follow the Assy Road
06:39down to the Ganges River.
06:42What's the Ganges?
06:43I think I might have been near it.
06:45Follow the river up to find your checkpoint hotel,
06:49Suri Ode Habili.
06:52Who's going to get there first?
06:53Come on.
06:54Who's going to make it, Dave?
06:55Oh.
06:56Ah.
06:57Can you read it?
06:57That's it.
06:58OK.
06:59Caroline and Tom are now closing in,
07:00aren't they?
07:01They're near the river now.
07:02You're doing all right, Rob.
07:04So the Gats are something to do with.
07:07Oh!
07:08Oh, he's done an injury.
07:09Oh, dear, we can't afford to fall.
07:11We're in our 60s.
07:13Fuck.
07:14Oh.
07:15Come on, get up, Brayton.
07:16You're going to have to hop now.
07:17Come on, you're nearly there.
07:18You'll be going through.
07:19All right, get up.
07:20You're only going to go up these.
07:22Come on, let's go.
07:23It's OK.
07:26Walk it off.
07:26Come on.
07:27God, so many steps.
07:29Oh, you wouldn't walk all these steps on them, would you?
07:31Oh, my God.
07:32I'd have given up ages ago.
07:33Well, you'd be buggered if that were Jane or Margaret.
07:35They can't do stairs.
07:37I think this is it.
07:39Suri Ode.
07:40Yeah, here it is.
07:40Here it is.
07:41That's it there.
07:42That's it, OK.
07:43Up the stairs.
07:44Up the stairs to the door.
07:44Let's go, come on.
07:45He's going to get there first.
07:48Namaskar.
07:49Welcome to Alta Tara Suri Ode Haveli.
07:52Please sign in here.
07:53Let's see.
07:54Open the book.
07:56Sign in Haveli.
07:58Oh, they've done it.
08:02I thought they really lost the lead.
08:04I went and did bed and boarding,
08:06and I got to make friends with this elderly Thai woman.
08:10And she showed me this hole in the floor,
08:13and a massive tarantula came out,
08:15and she sliced it in half with a spade.
08:17God.
08:19But it was free to stay there.
08:22Poor tarantula.
08:23No, it was on a school path.
08:24It had to go.
08:25Oh, was that when you were teaching those children English?
08:28Yeah, they were laughing at me tits.
08:35So, me and Nat are going to Sulu in August.
08:39You cancelled Sulu?
08:41You were the first instigator of everybody cancelling Sulu?
08:44I wasn't the first instigator of everyone cancelling Sulu.
08:47Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:49Because do you know what?
08:50Mam obviously, she couldn't cancel Sulu
08:53because she booked it separate to us and not as a package.
08:56So, she was still going.
08:58And Mam's going for two weeks.
09:00And I thought, do I want to be at home with Ezra?
09:03I knew you were going to say that.
09:05You just don't want to be without childcare for two weeks.
09:07So, you'll take the child to her on holiday
09:11so she can care for him there.
09:12I might get a couple of hours to myself on the sun lounger.
09:16That's all you're thinking about.
09:19On Monday night, we got very hands-on
09:21with a radical new series on Channel 4.
09:24So, this is an island of virgins.
09:29Nothing to do with Richard Branson.
09:31Auntie Jane says that when she were younger
09:33that she always wanted to do it outside.
09:35Me never would.
09:36Ah! Why are you telling me this?
09:39Why do you know this?
09:45Twelve virgins are heading towards a paradise island
09:48to take part in a unique experiment.
09:51Bloody hell, Pad.
09:52You should have gone on this.
09:54About four years too late.
09:57In a world where sex is everywhere.
10:00It's not in here, is it?
10:01I hope.
10:01Not here, it's not, no.
10:03The truth is surprising.
10:05There are more adult virgins than ever.
10:08I wonder why that is.
10:09Are there?
10:10Or are people talking about it more?
10:13Being a young adult in this day and age, it's difficult.
10:17Social media, dating apps.
10:18Influencers.
10:19TV shows.
10:20Porn.
10:21Porn.
10:22Porn is everywhere.
10:23Do you know what? There's too many screens.
10:24Back in game, they didn't have anything else better to do, you know.
10:28People just got fingered.
10:29Yeah.
10:31Oh my lord, I don't think I want to see this.
10:34Oh, I do.
10:35Uh-oh.
10:36When did you lose your virginity, Jane?
10:38Don't tell me.
10:40Don't tell me.
10:42Yeah, yeah, beautiful, beautiful.
10:44In the episode, sex therapist Celeste and Danielle
10:48got us loosened up with some breathing exercises.
10:51Just listening to my voice.
10:54Ah, I'm going to start by taking a nice deep breath.
10:59Ah.
11:01Ah.
11:03Ah.
11:05OK, who's willing to make sound with me?
11:09Oh, that lad's awkward.
11:12Yeah.
11:13And for touch phobic Jason, it's more than he can handle.
11:19Ah.
11:20Oh, I feel sorry for Jason, because for him, it's a genuine phobia.
11:26That's the reason behind his virginness.
11:29All right, so this exercise is about saying no.
11:33You say no all bloody time.
11:35Yeah, wouldn't be a bother for me, that.
11:36When I'm around a member of the opposite sex, I feel awkward.
11:39Can't punch you in the face.
11:41Can't punch you in the face?
11:43I tend to say things without thinking.
11:46Can I throw you in the sea?
11:47No.
11:48Can I throw you in the sea?
11:50The next one is going to shock you.
11:54In another scene, Celeste is Jasoning with some touch therapy.
11:59So you want to start with, like, just touch?
12:01Yeah, just put it in.
12:02Like that?
12:03Yeah.
12:04Is it OK? Like, does the sensation feel good?
12:06It's already like that.
12:09Go on, Jason.
12:10Before turning things up a notch.
12:13So I was thinking maybe trying some different connection positions to build confidence.
12:18Yeah?
12:19Yes, Jason.
12:20Come on.
12:22What, like lying next to one another?
12:24Spooning or something?
12:25Legging one leg and the other in?
12:27I don't know.
12:28Let's find out.
12:29Like a jigsaw puzzle.
12:30Let's try it.
12:31So you can lie down, like, here.
12:32On my back?
12:33Yeah, lie down on your back.
12:34Like, with your head down there.
12:36I'm going to, like, move in here.
12:38Oh, I lied again.
12:39She's getting on top of him.
12:41Sweet.
12:42Sweet!
12:43See if you can, like, just connect with your sexy idea.
12:47If you feel an urge to touch back.
12:50This is happening.
12:53Oh, God.
12:54It's like your Nana looming over you.
13:01He's relaxing a bit, isn't he?
13:04Do you think?
13:05Nice, Jason.
13:06He's getting more and more comfortable.
13:08He's actually relaxed.
13:10Yeah.
13:16Oh, look at that boy.
13:19Oh, my Lord.
13:20He's learning.
13:21He's a quick learner.
13:22He's a quick learner, isn't he?
13:23He is.
13:24Oh, people are disgusted.
13:28And you can't touch.
13:29I can't touch your back.
13:30You can't.
13:31No!
13:32No!
13:33Yummy bastard.
13:34That's a very thick bra she's got on, though.
13:37Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it?
13:38It's a work bra.
13:39It's a work bra.
13:40I don't know.
13:41I want you to see if you can take your energy seriously now
13:44and look at me like, I want to fuck you, kind of.
13:49Right.
13:50Well, that's maybe a bit too much, so let's...
13:53Yeah, just slow it down a bit.
13:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:58He seems to know what he's doing to me.
14:00Go on, fella.
14:02Yes, fella.
14:03I think we've done it.
14:04I think we've cracked it.
14:06You need a little break here, don't you?
14:08You need a little break?
14:09OK.
14:11It's a must.
14:12That was amazing.
14:15Who would have thought when he walked in to now?
14:18I didn't think they'd get to that stage so quick.
14:21No.
14:22This is a gem.
14:23This is what it feels like.
14:25I'm feeling incredible.
14:26Absolutely incredible.
14:27She's a miracle worker.
14:28I was a virgin.
14:29Well, I am a virgin still, but I'm like a dippy virgin now.
14:32I'm close to losing it.
14:33Oh, that is midnight, innit?
14:35See what a bit of lust can do for you.
14:38He's got a bit of confidence now.
14:39A bit of lust and desire.
14:42I don't want to know.
14:43Sorry, I'm trying to help the show.
14:45You all right?
14:46God, if I told you every wall here, you'd be horrified.
14:49Completely unnecessary.
14:53Double standards.
15:12Can you see that face on the teapot?
15:15Irwin's been graffitiing everything with those pens.
15:22He's done my teapot.
15:23I found a flipping banana the other day with a face.
15:26And then I went to read my gardening magazine.
15:29Monty Darn had been vandalised.
15:31Oh.
15:32What had he done to Monty Darn?
15:34He's got antennae and fangs.
15:36This week, Netflix had a new drama about a group of middle-aged couples
15:41on holiday together.
15:43Lie down, buddy.
15:45Buddy?
15:46You in a bit of drama, DJ?
15:48Drama, DJ?
15:49Drama, comedy.
15:50Steve Carell's in this.
15:51Is he?
15:52He is, yeah.
15:57Wouldn't it be nice to have friends to go on holiday with?
16:00All I've got is you.
16:02Although, to be fair, I do like going on holiday with you.
16:04Yeah, you encroach on my holidays.
16:08I don't like you to holiday without me.
16:11Oh, wow, wow.
16:13Yes, get in there.
16:14In the programme, we saw the friends settling down for dinner
16:18in Anna and Nick's lake house.
16:20OK, I'd like to make a toast to Nick and Ann on their 25th.
16:26Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
16:27They've all gathered for Nick and Ann's 25th wedding anniversary.
16:31Silver, that one.
16:32Yeah.
16:3325 years, I'm double that this year.
16:34You are.
16:35It is rare in this life to find your soul mate.
16:40Sounds like a perfect couple, doesn't it?
16:41Have you found your soul mate, Dad?
16:42Hell, yeah.
16:44Where is she?
16:49Are you guys happy?
16:50What do you mean?
16:51Can you honestly say that you are happy in your lives?
16:57That's a big question, isn't it?
16:58The people who do ask that, actually.
17:00Yeah.
17:01People who ask that aren't usually happy.
17:02Yeah.
17:03What kind of question is that?
17:04Come on.
17:08I'm leaving, Ann.
17:10They're just celebrating their 25th.
17:12He's leaving her?
17:14No.
17:15Is there somebody else?
17:16No, no, no, no.
17:17It's not like that.
17:18It's Ann.
17:19What's the matter with her?
17:21I hate her.
17:22Oh.
17:24It's taken a while to figure that out.
17:2625 years to figure out he hates his wife.
17:28I hate my ex-husband, too.
17:34She's given up.
17:35She doesn't do anything.
17:39Oh, I'm getting like that, probably.
17:41Is this about the air fryer?
17:45I don't think they're splitting up or the marriage because of a fucking air fryer.
17:48She won't go out on the boat.
17:50I built her.
17:51That pottery shed.
17:53She hasn't made one thing.
17:55It's taken a turn, hasn't it?
17:57This will literally be page about me in 20 years.
17:59I can see it now.
18:01He's bored.
18:02Nick is bored.
18:03He is.
18:04All she wants to do is play this farm game on her iPad.
18:07I love that farm game.
18:09I play it, too.
18:10That farm game is addictive, isn't it?
18:16I'm going to tell her as soon as this weekend is over.
18:18He hasn't even tried to speak to Ann about it.
18:20That's going to be awkward for the rest of the holiday, isn't it?
18:23God, it's like he's hit 25 years and that's it.
18:26It's almost like he's retiring from that marriage.
18:29Hi, guys.
18:30What's going on out here?
18:31Well, I sent Nick an hour away to get bagels because...
18:36This is my anniversary present to him.
18:38A surprise vow renewal ceremony.
18:40Oh, shit!
18:43Oh, my God.
18:44A vow renewal ceremony, Simon.
18:49He's going to freak out.
18:51You're fucking telling on.
18:53He is going to freak out, Ann.
18:54You're quite right.
18:56Somebody needs to warn her.
18:58Is this the point where it's like, do somebody say something to her?
19:00I think so.
19:06Oh, gosh.
19:07How's he going to get out of this?
19:08The whole family's there.
19:12Oh, Lee.
19:13Oh, shit.
19:15Surprise, we're renewing our vows.
19:19What do you do?
19:21Come clean or go for it?
19:23You can't get out of this.
19:24You'll have to get food poisoning.
19:27Ann, you've got the floor.
19:30Oh, she's got a speech.
19:32She's going to declare all of her undying loves for him.
19:35Nick.
19:37I love you.
19:39Not every second of every day.
19:41I love that you're always surprising me.
19:43Buying me the world's biggest kiln and installing it yourself.
19:48Even when the guy said it simply must be done by a professional.
19:52Oh, the kiln, that must be the pottery shed that she never uses.
19:55That's nice to mention.
19:56And you annoy the hell out of me.
19:59And I annoy the hell out of you, too.
20:01You really do annoy him?
20:02You don't know how much?
20:03And I would be so honoured to annoy the hell out of each other in sickness and in health
20:08until death do us part.
20:10Oh, isn't that sweet?
20:12Yes, I think he'll have to change his tune though, that's it.
20:16OK, I'm going to see the dread.
20:19Would you like to say something, Nick?
20:25I don't know if I can watch.
20:28If he humiliates her, he will be the devil.
20:31But if he goes through it and then tells her after, he's the devil.
20:34He's doomed.
20:38Oh, God.
20:42Amy?
20:47The kiln's blown up.
20:49It wasn't done by a professional.
20:51Saved by...
20:52The kiln.
20:53The kiln.
20:54The kiln.
20:56So that's why you should never pay to get someone to install stuff.
21:00If you just do it yourself instead, there's a chance it might blow up when you need it to.
21:08Yummy.
21:09You know, I know we always talk about eggs a lot.
21:12You know when you unpeel your egg, do you get that egg membrane stuck on it and then
21:18it pulls the egg off?
21:20Yeah.
21:22It's so bad, isn't it, when you, like, demolish your egg by...
21:25I hate it when you're taking chunks out of your egg.
21:27Mum never does it.
21:28Mum's, like, the master at deshelling an egg.
21:31You eat an egg.
21:32You eat an egg?
21:33Yeah.
21:34But how's she learnt it?
21:35Yeah.
21:36I think she knows a trick how to get under the membrane.
21:37Do you reckon?
21:38Yeah.
21:39Yeah.
21:40She gets under my skin all the time.
21:41This week, there was more drama coming out of London's poshest postcode office.
21:48Oh, well, let's have a little look over the other half of Limerick's posh churl, innit?
21:51Yeah.
21:52Sam and Yaz?
21:53Mm-hm.
21:54They were dating, yeah?
21:55Yeah.
21:56Yaz and Sam broke up.
21:57She started dating this DJ called Arman.
21:58Oh.
21:59But now she's started seeing Sam Prince again.
22:00Shut up.
22:01Mm.
22:02Let me get my tea.
22:03Mm.
22:04Took the man away to those sets and everything, you know, and then got cheats with Sam.
22:11Are you ready to be confused?
22:12I am.
22:13I can't keep up with these guys.
22:14If you've got the Chelsea Rez...
22:17OK.
22:18..you can go there.
22:19Have I got it?
22:20No.
22:21None of us have.
22:22How you doing, brother?
22:23Good.
22:24Still feeling it in my delts, but good, other than that.
22:25Oh, man.
22:26Still feeling it in his delts.
22:27It must be the mixing.
22:28This is Arman, the DJ that Yaz was hooking up with, yeah?
22:29Yeah.
22:30He's practising for, like, barging people out the window.
22:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:32Sam.
22:33Oh, shit stirrer.
22:34Yeah.
22:35Miles is usually at the centre of drama, isn't he?
22:36Oh, it's never far from it, Miles.
22:37He's a bit of a playboy, isn't he, Miles?
22:38Mm.
22:39I want them to do what is right for them,
22:40but I think deep down we all know that they're not right for each other.
22:41They don't think that Sam and Yaz should be together,
22:42so they're giving the two up anything, aren't they?
22:43I'm just going to pause you there.
22:44Oh, what does he now?
22:45Spill the beans.
22:46Sam was saying some shady stuff to me.
22:47Tell us, Arman!
22:48What's Sam been saying?
22:49Basically, he said, no, I don't think she's for you.
22:50I'm not for you.
22:51I'm not for you.
22:52I'm not for you.
22:53I'm not for you.
22:54I'm not for you.
22:55I'm not for you.
22:56I'm not for you.
22:57I'm not for you.
22:58I'm not for you.
22:59I'm not for you.
23:00I'm not for you.
23:02Oh!
23:03What does that mean?
23:04It means that he fancies her,
23:05but he doesn't want to be saddled
23:06with her should be no good at doing housework and cooking.
23:10A woman?
23:11Yes.
23:12Let me tell you now Lee.
23:14It won't be long before she knows she's not wife material.
23:19Ah.
23:20I didn't realise your candy was coming?
23:23No, it just met French.
23:26Oh.
23:27I didn't realise your caddy was coming.
23:29No, just best friend.
23:30Sarcastic Sam's back.
23:32It's Sam and Yaz.
23:33Oh, they're ambushed, them!
23:35Shut up!
23:36I've called you every single week to check in on you.
23:38You never even sometimes call me back.
23:40Oh, Toby's getting it in the neck.
23:42This just went from zero to 100 real quick.
23:44Mm-hm.
23:45I mean, there's a lot of things he could obviously say
23:47about that night that happened,
23:49and also that Armin kind of shared with us, but he hasn't.
23:52But I'm going to say them instead.
23:54Oh, there's a lot of things that he could say.
23:57He's kept his gums shut, but now you're getting a bit lippy,
24:00he's going to roll the taps up.
24:02Oh, here we go.
24:04Look at Sam, the what?
24:06You didn't see that she was...
24:08No, you said...
24:09What was it?
24:10She's not wife material.
24:12Oh, good.
24:13Look at him, look at him pretending.
24:15What was it?
24:16What was it now?
24:17Was it...
24:18Did you mean wife material?
24:20I think that's what it was.
24:21I would never say that,
24:22because Yasmin is wife material.
24:24I would never say that, because she's his.
24:26What did he talk about Yasmin like?
24:28She isn't that?
24:29Like she's an inanimate, mute object?
24:31I never said that.
24:32I never said that?
24:33So what did you say?
24:34Well, I'm trying to make something up.
24:36One second.
24:37I'm trying to think of something
24:39that I could have possibly not said.
24:41One second.
24:42I can't stand where Armin would lie.
24:44Why?
24:45Clearly.
24:46Because he's got my dog friend everyone.
24:48You always think, though, people like that,
24:51Get out of, like, Armin, Yas, and this for a second.
24:56Come on, Temps, speak up.
24:58Now you've got Temps riled up.
25:00You don't want to get Temps riled up, you know.
25:03Should he be sat there feeling like a knobhead
25:05because someone's delivering a message?
25:07Again, you're not letting...
25:08Oh, Temps, man.
25:09Calm down, Temps.
25:10Is Temps short for temper?
25:11This is as aggressive as you can get in a posh world.
25:14Like, oh, just listen.
25:17I've literally just...
25:20Oh, that's childish.
25:23I don't understand why people do that when you say just go.
25:26You think because you've told me to go, I'm going to go.
25:28Here's what I'm going to do.
25:29The opposite.
25:30Exactly.
25:31Get me feet up.
25:32Exactly.
25:37Oh, we're at the angels and demons party.
25:39That's right.
25:40No, Simon.
25:41That's not far from you.
25:43No, I know. It's up the road.
25:45Hello, champ.
25:46You've dressed as a demon.
25:48Oh, no.
25:49Oh, God.
25:50It's Sam, Almond and Temps.
25:52Yeah, fuck. I hope it's awkward already.
25:54Do you mind if I have a chat with Almond?
25:56Please.
25:57I kind of want to watch.
25:58Hey, I'm going nowhere.
25:59Out from row seats.
26:01What's the situation?
26:02I can tell you something.
26:03I work between the DJ and you.
26:04You work here.
26:05I'm telling you, fuck off.
26:06Oh, my God.
26:07He just hit me.
26:08You're the star.
26:09You've said that we've had a discussion in Dorset
26:11that I've said that Yaz is not married to material.
26:13Wife material.
26:14Get it right.
26:15I wouldn't say any of those things to her chauffeur.
26:17Ten minutes.
26:18Good one, mate. Good one.
26:19Couldn't you hurry up?
26:20I need to get the grease.
26:21I'm going to make some.
26:22One second.
26:23The buffet is now open.
26:26Top Yacht.
26:27We want cocktails.
26:28It's happy hour, guys.
26:30What were you saying?
26:31Sorry.
26:32I don't really have anything to say, to be honest.
26:34All right.
26:35Go and get us a drink, then.
26:36Wow.
26:37Yes, old boy.
26:38None of that hit in any way.
26:39That was better.
26:40I think they said it hit.
26:41No, but that was better.
26:42Go and get us a drink.
26:43Nothing.
26:44That hit a little bit.
26:45I appreciate the chat.
26:46All the best.
26:47All right.
26:48Thanks, champ.
26:49That was such an unbelievable waste of time.
26:52Ooh, what do you think is going to happen next?
26:54Because I don't know what happened there.
27:04The end.
27:05Do you think we should get another dog?
27:07Do you see what you're thinking about?
27:08Do you think we should get...
27:09If we do, though, should it be a great day?
27:11It'll be a great day.
27:12Michael, Sally and their sons, Jake and Harry.
27:16Come on, lie down.
27:17No.
27:21No.
27:24Good luck moving that.
27:26There we go.
27:30Oh, poor Bonnie.
27:34Is this comfy?
27:38Move up.
27:40Good girl.
27:42On Sunday night, TV's most well-travelled piano
27:45was back on the road again, but this time at an airport.
27:49Well, I won't be able to listen to any of it
27:51because the way rainbows are on the airport,
27:54it's that fast.
27:56You've got no chance, have you?
27:58I think I'll just listen to it.
28:00No, no, come on.
28:01I need to be in the executive lounge.
28:03I want to get my money's worth.
28:04Come on.
28:07Do you ever picture yourself playing the piano?
28:09All the time.
28:10All the time?
28:12Yeah, I'd be one of those extra people.
28:14Yeah.
28:18Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, bang!
28:22For our next arrival, this trip to Heathrow
28:25will be a return journey.
28:27He's blind.
28:28Yeah.
28:29My name is Chapman, I am 14 years old.
28:31Hi, Chapman.
28:32To be so young and gifted, I wouldn't know what that's like.
28:34Lovely to meet you.
28:35Hello, Chapman.
28:36I'm Claudia.
28:37Please, come and have a seat.
28:39Got a bit of a crowd already.
28:40I am.
28:41Yeah, perfect.
28:42Claudia shouldn't be in a blazer and slacks like that
28:44in an airport.
28:45No.
28:46She needs to be in shorts and T-shirts.
28:48Yeah.
28:49Really, depending where you're going.
28:51Or a velvet trackie.
28:52Yeah, a track suit, that kind of caper.
28:54Tell me about what you love about the piano.
28:58I love the applause and encouragement.
29:00Oh, obviously we like to play to an audience.
29:02It's not just for him, he likes to entertain other people.
29:05Love that.
29:06He was born blind and having complex speaking
29:09and learning disability.
29:11How mega, though, that he's found music like that.
29:13That's his calling, that, isn't it?
29:15Five, four, three, two, one.
29:20Drop it like it's hot.
29:21Did you see it?
29:22Drop it like it's hot.
29:23Oh, my God.
29:24I like Chapman already.
29:26He is a very happy boy.
29:28Can't he play drums and all?
29:30You used to do that, didn't you, Eleanor?
29:32What, drop it like it's hot?
29:33No, play the drums in a night, everybody.
29:35Oh, right.
29:36In Asia, a lot of blind children don't have opportunity
29:39to learn the music.
29:41Oh.
29:42Why is that?
29:43So, we moved from Hong Kong because the UK has so much
29:46to offer in terms of music and supporting resources
29:50for disabled children.
29:52So, they've completely upped stakes and moved to the UK
29:56just so Chapman can have more opportunities.
29:59What else?
30:00Swimming.
30:01Yeah, he really likes swimming.
30:02That's so cute.
30:04There's a time when we thought everything is moving
30:06to a positive direction.
30:08We don't allow him to swim anymore.
30:10Oh, why?
30:11Why?
30:12Because the hearing is getting worse.
30:14They say the hearing is getting worse?
30:15Yeah.
30:16Oh, man.
30:17God, the hearing, he can't...
30:18How is he going to play the piano if he can't hear?
30:20He used to have extremely sharp ears.
30:26And it brings all the music to him.
30:29But we start to realise that his hearing is deteriorating.
30:33Oh, his dad's struggling here.
30:35He's going to be deaf and blind.
30:37Ding dong.
30:39It's a tannoy.
30:40Actually, it's a public address system.
30:42A tannoy is a brand maker.
30:44Wake up.
30:45Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
30:48Welcome on board Chapman's airline.
30:50Aye, yes, yeah, man.
30:52Buckle in, you larks.
30:54I'm going to take you on a ride.
30:55This is the flight to MacPhong Town,
30:57the hustling and bustling city of Hong Kong.
30:59Cabin crew, please prepare for take-off.
31:02Fasten your seatbelts exactly.
31:04Good lad.
31:06You crying.
31:07I don't know.
31:11Oh, he's got fast fingers.
31:13Oh, my God.
31:17Look how intricate and fast that is.
31:19It's not even playing from music, Daniella.
31:20This is all from memory.
31:24I've never, ever seen someone play the piano as quick as that before.
31:28I didn't know that the keyboards moved this fast.
31:33For once, make us speechless.
31:36You see, when you do that...
31:37Love it.
31:38..I'm sold, you know.
31:39Love it.
31:43Oh?
31:44Oh, God.
31:45God, where are you?
31:46That's what he's thinking about in his head,
31:48the rush hour in Hong Kong.
31:53Beautiful.
31:59Smashed it.
32:00That was unreal.
32:01Go on, Chapman, we'll give you an applause.
32:04And he loves the applause.
32:06He is mad talent, that.
32:10Are you happy with that?
32:11Yeah.
32:12Yeah, I'm happy with that.
32:15Me being a dad myself, your kids' achievements,
32:18like, how mega is that?
32:20Yeah.
32:21You know, especially against all the odds.
32:23I don't think I'd ever be able to learn to play the piano
32:26at a high level because I've got very small hands.
32:29But little children can play the piano.
32:31Good for them.
32:36Nat always pulls me up about my language in front of Ezra.
32:39He always goes,
32:40Ellie, come on now, Virgin ears.
32:46Anyway, this morning,
32:48there were a massive, big, buzzy bee in our kitchen.
32:52And I was like, look, Ezra, look, buzzy bee, buzzy bee.
32:55And Nat were like, buzzy bee.
32:57And then next thing you know,
32:59the bee dive bombs Nat while he's eating his breakfast.
33:03He jumps up like this and goes, fuck off, fuck off.
33:06Like that.
33:09I could not...
33:10Why does Virginia move so fast?
33:12Believe it.
33:13And I said, Nat, virgin ears.
33:19You couldn't wait to get that in there, could you?
33:21No, I could not wait to get it in.
33:23You were buzzing.
33:24I was buzzing.
33:26I'm more buzzy than that bee.
33:28But I could get worn off on Nat for virgin ears.
33:31On Saturday, a celebrity chef was out of the tent
33:34and living her best life on ITV.
33:37This is the most charming programme.
33:39I caught an episode of it last week.
33:41It's super relaxing.
33:43You look very colourful today.
33:44Oh, yeah.
33:45You look brawly.
33:46Yeah?
33:47Yeah.
33:48Was she used to live in London or she had a place?
33:49She was posh.
33:50Because I used to run her around the cave.
33:52Oh, you've had Prue in your cab?
33:55Yeah.
33:56I'm Prue Leith.
33:57Cook, caterer...
33:58Oh, but that's who you are, come on.
34:00...Cookery School founder and writer of 16 cookbooks.
34:04She's got quite a portfolio, hasn't she?
34:06Great style.
34:07This series is all about the things that really matter to me.
34:10Family, fun, food and friends.
34:14Food being number one.
34:15That's all there is.
34:17Food, friends, family.
34:20Prue's not at the top for me.
34:22Really?
34:23Really.
34:24No, I really like her.
34:26But you can't beat Dame Mary Berry.
34:28You can't?
34:29Who'd win in the fight, Mary Berry or Prue Leith?
34:32Delia Smith, she's off her head.
34:34My first recipe today is deviled kidneys on toast.
34:39Oh, no!
34:40Oh, God, I won't like this.
34:41I'm having some of this.
34:42Yeah, some of this.
34:43We've got kidneys, innit?
34:44We love that.
34:45We love the kidneys.
34:47Mum eats it all the time.
34:48Yeah, a little bit of lime.
34:50Kidneys.
34:51So these are kidneys on toast, deviled kidneys.
34:54Deviled generally means very spicy.
34:57There's got to be garlic on them as well.
34:59Oh, that's a total taboo for you, isn't it?
35:02Garlic.
35:03It looks like there's a knob of butter there too.
35:05I can't think of anything worse.
35:08A knob of butter and garlic?
35:10Yeah.
35:11Good God.
35:12To prepare the kidneys, slice them in half.
35:16So that they retain their kidney shape.
35:18Because you want to know that it is a kidney.
35:20Yeah.
35:21Always remind yourself of exactly what you're eating.
35:24Mix together 50 grams of soft butter.
35:27See?
35:28Butter.
35:29That's me gone.
35:30Right, butter's nice.
35:31Hopefully the butter will cover everything up.
35:33One teaspoon of cayenne pepper.
35:35Oh, you can have that for me.
35:37You don't like anything spicy, do you?
35:39No, I'm a delicate palate.
35:41And a little bit of Worcester sauce.
35:43A little bit of Worcester sauce.
35:45Oh, yeah.
35:46We'll have the Worcester sauce, I'll do.
35:48This is all to cover up the taste of the kidneys.
35:51I don't know why offal is so out of fashion.
35:54I'm there with you.
35:55True.
35:56Not on Jenny's watch, is it?
35:58Definitely true.
35:59It's not on my watch.
36:00I had to live a sandwich as well the other day.
36:04Put the kidneys in the vein.
36:06Because they're fucking disgusting.
36:08On the toast.
36:10With the spiced butter.
36:13Oh, look at the juices.
36:15Drizzling it.
36:16You do that with your bread, don't you?
36:18And now the bread is soaked with the juices.
36:20Very delicious and pretty quick to do.
36:23Oh, see? Doesn't that look nice now?
36:25It doesn't actually look that bad.
36:27I'd love the fucking bread.
36:28I'd love everything.
36:29I'd scrape that into...
36:30I'd even lick my plate.
36:31I'd scrape that into the bin.
36:32We all don't know what good full dish you own.
36:34I don't, Jenny.
36:36I just don't fancy eating some fuckers inside.
36:38I just don't fancy eating some fuckers inside.
36:48Inca Philly.
36:49Oh, we'll start putting a bit of paint on the walls too, this week, aren't we?
36:52Yeah.
36:53I'll do the undercoat, you'll do the top, is it?
36:56Oh, you've got all your PPE on, have you?
36:58I have.
36:59Dave and his wife, Shirley.
37:01Ah, that obviously, no, because you've had your head
37:04and you don't want the dust going into your head.
37:06Well, no.
37:07My hair was stinking rubbing down.
37:10He's fascinated with rubber ears.
37:12He noticed that.
37:13He'd be all...
37:16On Sunday night, there were more lads looking for love on BBC Three.
37:21I'm sorry, I'm never kissing anyone first.
37:23I always know your name, where you live, what you do for a living, your hobbies.
37:28If you brushed your teeth.
37:29Yeah, that too.
37:30I can't remember mine and Josh's first kiss.
37:32It makes me feel a bit sick, actually.
37:34I can't remember mine and Callum's.
37:36That's because you were pissed.
37:37I was.
37:39I remember.
37:40Oh, yeah, you were there.
37:41I watched it.
37:42Oh, that makes me feel sick.
37:45Welcome to I Kissed A Boy.
37:54Back to a bit of boy-on-boy, Padders.
37:56Lovely.
37:57Me and Nat used to kiss.
37:59We don't.
38:00You do kiss at first and then it wears off.
38:07Well.
38:09There's a nice-looking boy, love.
38:10Oh, I'm looking at one of my tops on Timo the other day.
38:13I'm Jordan.
38:14I currently live in Manchester, but I'm from a little village near the Lake District.
38:17Oh, Jordan.
38:19The Lake District is lovely, to be fair.
38:21But he still moves to Manchester.
38:23Yeah, because he might have been the only gay in the village in the Lake District.
38:28What a village is that?
38:29You've got a point there, Judy, to be fair.
38:33I'm Jack.
38:34I live in a teeny-weeny village outside of Wigan.
38:36I love Jack's outfit.
38:38Famous for their pears and pies.
38:40People think I'm a demon twink, and I'm not a demon twink.
38:42Demon twink, I've never heard of one.
38:44I don't think I'm a demon twink.
38:46Mel's never called me a demon twink.
38:47She's called me a twat.
38:48I don't know if that's the same thing.
38:50I'm just a regular twink.
38:52So you've got your twinks, your otters and your bears.
38:54All different types of guys.
38:56Twink, skinny people.
38:58Otter, skinny but hairy.
39:00Bear, hairy but big.
39:05Oh!
39:06Right, they're going to walk up and smoosh.
39:12Ah!
39:14You like walking from half a mile away?
39:16Yeah.
39:18Can we give up reality?
39:22Oh, no.
39:23They don't know each other at all.
39:25They've been with each other since they left Wigan.
39:27They haven't known for years.
39:29I'm Jack.
39:30I'm Jack.
39:31That is weird.
39:33Imagine if he did that with every interaction.
39:35Like, what would my mechanic do if I went up to him and did that?
39:39You could get him a two for three bottle.
39:41Jack's a good-looking boy.
39:43Well, there's also other good-looking boys, so...
39:45I'm not ruling anything out of anyone.
39:47They have only had one kiss at the start.
39:49That doesn't automatically pay you off for life, does it?
39:52No.
39:53You've got to peruse the menu before you decide what you're eating.
39:57Well done, old boys!
39:59Welcome to the Messeria.
40:01The Messeria?
40:02That's somebody's toilet when it makes a noise.
40:04Oh, no, that's the Messeria.
40:07I have organised a VIP area.
40:11The secret garden.
40:13Oh, yeah.
40:14Waiting there tonight will be a gorgeous new boy
40:19who's hoping to make a connection with one of you.
40:23Can't believe we're getting some fresh sausage already in the Messeria.
40:25Oh, no.
40:26Later on, we caught up with the boys
40:28trying to decide who got to go into the secret garden.
40:32I had to get out.
40:33Sorry.
40:36Oh, at least Jack would go.
40:37Go on, Jack.
40:38He's obviously not that keen on Jordan, then.
40:40But he's only saying that because he knows Jordan
40:42is potentially going to say it.
40:44I'm hoping to get to know people.
40:46If it's a fitting, I'll have him.
40:48If it's not, I'll bring him back to you.
40:50Oh, will you now?
40:51Oh, go, you selfish dick.
40:53Exactly.
40:54You've got your pick of the dick
40:56and you're still not happy you want the secret garden as well.
40:58That's fucking greedy.
41:00I vote for you.
41:01I vote for you.
41:02Scientific.
41:03I'd pay him back that.
41:05Jack, babes, you go in.
41:06Oh, Jack's going in.
41:07Yes, he's going.
41:08Go on, Jack.
41:09Go on, Jack.
41:10Bye.
41:12Jordan looks gutted.
41:13Yeah.
41:14Hi, my name's Callum and I live in North West London.
41:16Callum, yeah?
41:17Callum's fit.
41:18Come take a seat in the hammock.
41:20Dangerous.
41:21How are you?
41:22I'm good, thank you.
41:23How are you?
41:24What's your name?
41:26Oh.
41:28Unreal.
41:31Well, he's batting an icebreaker, I don't know what is.
41:34Just sit on the floor, fuck it.
41:36Ooh.
41:37How are you?
41:38I'm happy.
41:39Hello.
41:40How are you?
41:41This is Callum.
41:42Callum, nice to meet you.
41:43Is Jordan going to take this?
41:45Did you kiss?
41:46No.
41:47No.
41:48No.
41:49Why don't you just kiss now?
41:52Oh, Jordan doesn't like it, does he?
41:54Jordan's not so happy now.
41:56I'll kiss him.
42:00What are they going to do in front of everyone?
42:06Wow!
42:07In front of everybody.
42:09Oh, man, I couldn't do that.
42:13Wow.
42:18Paige wouldn't even kiss me when Father Anthony went,
42:21you may now kiss the bride.
42:24We always say night-night though, kiss night-night,
42:26we always do, yeah, always.
42:28Even when I'm going with him.
42:30Do you?
42:31When I'm out with him, yeah, I still give him a kiss night-night.
42:34Cos I always, I'm afraid he pops his clogs in the night.
42:42Do you know what I've got a really strong feeling about?
42:45That Jimmy and Ava are going to have like a dead hybrid
42:48but strong accents.
42:50You know, yes, it's going to be Northern,
42:52but there are going to be strings of Essex stroke cockney.
42:56Yes.
42:57Pete and his little sister Sophie.
43:00He was doing the register today, he sat me and Paige down,
43:02he went, right, I'm going to do the register, boys and gills.
43:07Because of Paige's accent.
43:09Boys and gills.
43:13I'm like, all right.
43:15I like it when he goes, please may I have a glass of water?
43:18Yeah, water, can I have a glass of water?
43:21Just going to do the register, right, boys and gills.
43:25On Friday, someone was starting a new job.
43:28BBC Breakfast had all the details.
43:31Thank you, dearest.
43:32Got it? Yeah.
43:33Gee, it was a bit scarce on your platter this morning,
43:36weren't you on the toast?
43:37It was a little bit hard in the corners.
43:39Oh, I don't do corners, I just shove it in the middle.
43:42I don't either.
43:43I don't do corners of toast, look.
43:46You've got, like, a Naga Manchetti hairstyle, haven't you, I think?
43:50It's what I've been going for.
43:52The new Pope will celebrate his first Mass today,
43:55hours after he was elected by his fellow cardinals.
43:58Oh, the new Pope, Ron.
44:01Crikey.
44:02Getting him straight to work.
44:04I'm sick of hearing about the Pope.
44:06I didn't even know we had a Pope.
44:08Who even is the Pope?
44:09Well, the Prevost, who's taken the name Leonardo.
44:12The Pope?
44:13Well, the Prevost, who's taken the name Leo XIV.
44:16If you were Pope, what name would you choose?
44:19Robert de Liro.
44:20Pope de Liro!
44:23You wouldn't say.
44:25You wanted to be known as Pope.
44:26Al Pacino.
44:27Pope Al Pacino, don't be silly.
44:29When the white smoke finally came, down below, the crowd went wild.
44:34He's a real nun?
44:37I've never seen nuns so excited before.
44:39All the nuns are like, yes, that's my guy!
44:43As tens of thousands more people poured into the square...
44:46Look at this.
44:47..the Vatican band performed.
44:49The Swiss Guards.
44:51Are they?
44:52Oh, were they Swiss then?
44:53Not Swiss.
44:54Oh.
44:55Swiss.
44:58There he is!
45:00Nothing quite like the Pope, is there?
45:02One minute you're just totally unknown, and then the next,
45:05everyone knows you.
45:06Everybody knows you, yeah.
45:07I mean, that is the promotion of a lifetime, isn't it?
45:10Yeah.
45:15He speaks about four languages, apparently.
45:17He's a clever man.
45:18That's what you know you're doing a lot, because they don't even have
45:20the microphone on the stand.
45:21They get a blow-torch.
45:22That's what I'm saying.
45:23And it's chrome.
45:26That is shiny, boys, isn't it?
45:28Yeah.
45:29It's good that he's got progressive views, and that's what we were
45:31voting for.
45:32That's what we need, progression in the church.
45:35That's nice, progressive views.
45:37Do you reckon you'd give your job to a lady then at some point?
45:39That'd be nice.
45:40That's not that progressive.
45:41The Vatican has now released images of Pope Leo XIV,
45:45thanking those who elected him.
45:47I hope the Pope does some good changes for the best.
45:53Is he our Pope for the North East as well?
45:55Fuck knows.
45:56I'm not religious, am I?
45:58I'm not a religious person.
46:00Yeah, not that.
46:01I don't believe, but I think I'll wait until the time comes.
46:06Yes.
46:07Then you'll find out.
46:08Then find out.
46:10We'll soon know, darling.
46:12Well, I hope he'll know soon.
46:14I hope so.