The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 2 Episode 1
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00:00that we can clear the air and get even closer if you poke the bear the claws are coming out
00:04oh shit i just woke up a monster
00:11there was more to the story they dig at some backlash from reputations in their community
00:18radically changing the image of mormon culture videos continuously going viral and it's a double
00:24edge sword let this be a lesson for all of you they all have boob jobs i think i'm gonna be a
00:36saint in the center if she comes for me i will absolutely dominate her i'm lying the truth
00:41always comes around it does unfortunately you have no idea what's coming for you you're keeping
00:46receipts who knows when you're gonna unlock that vault and just sabotage someone just touch my wife
00:51this is the real war let's fucking move past this we all are traumatized but we don't go around
01:01hurting the people we love do i do petty shit yes gotta go head on in the storm you want to call me
01:08a shitty wife let's talk about you someone's gonna win and someone's gonna lose and it's
01:11gonna destroy the group as a whole you should literally be in jail i will create a whole
01:15another fucking mom talk not on my watch bitch
01:34i'm the one you've been dreaming
01:45gonna believe
01:52so
02:10ready okay what has life been like what's changed what's the same tell us everything
02:17uh well this will be free
02:31wait one boob might be bigger is that better
02:39what's the hot goss over here yeah what are you 4-1-1
02:46we are at the gracie lou cowboy pillows event and i'm so excited to be here with all the girls and
02:50just enjoy a fun influencer event western themes so dressing up for this event is the perfect way
02:56to kick off one of my favorite holidays which is halloween sometimes there's a misconception
03:00do mormons celebrate halloween yes we do and mom talk loves it as well is it a bad bowl or a good
03:06to pee maybe i should pee first mom bladders
03:14that's harder than i thought wait how do i hold on okay let's be sexy life has been
03:22a blur the last few months mom talk has grown even bigger it's become a nationwide trend we're
03:31seeing women doing their mom talk groups all across the u.s which is so crazy i love what mom
03:36talk is doing right now the way that we are trying to modernize people in the church we've helped
03:41move the needle in the way that mom talk intended to when it comes to the patriarchy the brand deals
03:47have been way up my husband his entire yearly salary is how much i make on one brand deal so
03:54jace is in his full stay at home dad era right now and he's loving it i think the perceptions
04:00of mormons has definitely changed worldwide we're just living our life making videos and
04:04smashing men's hearts just kidding yes we did get both good and bad responses with the church we'll
04:13say we ruffled our feathers i do think the church had an issue with mom taught trying to break the
04:19patriarchy but yolo it's fine we weren't bashing the church or talking about it negatively we were
04:26just shining a light on the things that do need to change mom talk is going to continue to push
04:30the church and the people in the culture to modernize towards today and if anyone tries
04:36to shit on mom talk they will be ready to fight it's very on brand for us
04:49there's no sexy way to get off that
04:51it's not gonna happen but i make it so it's hot wait is that whitney yes it is yeah
05:08hi oh my gosh this is so cute
05:11oh thank you new whitney new hair that's how it goes
05:22good yeah how's the pregnancy oh god i'm like two weeks please get this out of me
05:28oh whitney whitney whitney whitney was deemed kind of the villain and she earned every bit of
05:34that title she didn't attend taylor's baby shower or macy's baby mama event she has
05:41unfollowed us blocked us ignored us she has upset every single person in the group whitney is no
05:48longer a part of mom talk and rightfully so and she's the one that removed herself from the group
05:57whitney is definitely on the outs this is the circle she's out
06:00here so how does it feel to be pinned as the villain
06:06okay i think everyone's pissed because i haven't apologized for leaving mom talk and especially
06:12with me saying like good luck without me like oopsies do you have any regrets
06:19no i i think if there was then i would probably say it to them no one owes whitney anything when
06:25her behavior is the way that it is exactly she's a little bit of a narcissist i have no interest in
06:29having a friend like that i don't want drama i don't want that feeling i just don't want to be
06:32your friend there you go get in front there you go even though i'm not in mom talk this is my
06:37livelihood i have to come to these things i think everybody has sticks up their butts
06:42has the fame already gone to our heads hi baby come on in why did i you why did i straight up
06:52the ass i sat on the magazine
06:56yeah anyone have some tobacco i got some chew i got some spud i get really into uh
07:03the role play i know you do oh lord is that miranda what the hell
07:10oh shit it can't be shut up miranda really came holy shit wait she looks hot
07:17ladies
07:22miranda is taylor's ex-best friend and she's one of the original mom talkers from when taylor
07:27started the group miranda and her ex-husband chase were the couple heavily involved in the
07:33swinging with taylor and her ex-husband taylor started talking about it no one was innocent
07:37everyone has hooked up with like everyone in the situation it came out it became public and it was
07:42explosive on the internet miranda and her ex-husband panicked she left mom talk and they
07:47denied everything which made taylor look worse last i heard miranda got divorced and she's back
07:51in town i think it's pretty ballsy of her to show up to this influencer event hi mom talk did you
07:58miss me can i sit with you guys my name is miranda mcquarter and you might recognize me from being
08:06one of the mom taco g's just kidding obviously people know me from the whole swinging scandal
08:12taylor is a very vocal person and everybody has heard her side of the scandal but i'm finally
08:18here to tell mine what are you what's going on yeah i know last time i feel like anything mom
08:24talk related you're like i don't know if i'd ever i'm eating my words now on the show what's going
08:30on right now wait i need to hear everything you're divorced like did you see it coming
08:35yeah i mean i think when i made the decision i was sure about it and it just was not gonna work
08:41as a relationship and i i had tried for so long and i realized that it was you know i think our
08:46kids would be better off if we did end up cutting ties when we did i did i have a i have a question
08:53so if you're here like talking to everyone are you like trying to join mom talk again like what's
08:57the contradiction i feel like that's the only explanation i don't see another explanation yes
09:01um i think it all comes back to the fact that i'm not married anymore like for our marriage i just
09:07didn't think it was the best thing you're here so we're just gonna go all out was there a part
09:11of you that was trying to protect like the lie around the swinging thing were you involved in
09:16the swinging well the thing is is like the height of what i was ever involved in was like playing
09:24spin the bottle and like kissing other people and so it was very jarring for me for taylor to
09:31come out and say like everyone was hooking up with everyone because that was simply not the
09:35case at all we've all heard the exact opposite i'm so confused no one had sex ever period i kind
09:40of want to hear from like taylor and you to hear the story because we're hearing two completely
09:44different things i will go to my grave what my mind's just been blown that's crazy it's pretty
09:52wild that after so much time miranda has been completely silent about the swinger scandal
09:58and she's finally coming out and talking about it and admitting to things but it is a little
10:03strange to me because her story and taylor's version of the story are not completely lining
10:09up so i'm a little confused as to who's telling the truth you've never touched a wiener never
10:15touched wiener not one time a wiener even with your mouth yeah your mouth never came in contact
10:20oh my god really so who's telling the truth i have zero reason to believe that taylor's lying
10:26because she's been nothing but honest to me and to the world about her details in the swinging
10:31in her personal life and this has been something that has eaten taylor up for years i know how
10:36hard it is for taylor and i want to protect her and i don't want the lies from miranda to create
10:42the cracks in the group oh speak of the devil i'm trying to find my girls oh my goodness sorry
10:51guys i am late is this the new mom talk he did at first i do feel very shocked when i see miranda
11:03pretty uncomfortable i will say because i haven't really talked to her since everything so
11:09um and i i don't know why she she's here i guess i'm very confused
11:16tay do you want to go here okay you can go here and we'll move all this by miranda
11:20she was one of the girls participating in the swinging scandal her husband was the one that
11:25came and told me that he had feelings for me that's where the story gets confusing because
11:29i stole my best friend's husband but that's never been the case miranda was my best friend i would
11:34have never done that till her ever i won't bite you and i won't kiss you i promise not this time
11:39oh wait we didn't clarify that so you guys kissed like you're asking if we have
11:48how are you feeling horrible how are you guys i'm sorry
11:55it's been a lot guys miranda and i have yet to conversate about our whole situation but i did
12:00not want to hash any of this out today because i'm exhausted of what i'm dealing with in my
12:05own relationship with dakota so dakota was involved with the girl during our early dating
12:11he swore that nothing really had happened besides kissing and then he finally came
12:16forward after all this time saying that there was more to that story i was lied to for two years
12:23i have been in pure sadness but i feel like the ego is kind of kicking in being like
12:29i'm actually nobody's fucking second choice so if that's what you wanted i wouldn't i feel like
12:35coming back do you not see it i feel like so betrayed i'm in denial that this isn't even
12:40real right now and i don't know if i even want to move forward people have been doing you dirty for
12:47too long
13:08how are you feeling about everything with you and zach as for my relationship with zach it's been
13:15a few months of straight hell since vegas you say i'm not gonna be married to someone who doesn't
13:20have values and morals he treats you like shit that's gross i really don't i don't really care
13:27currently we are separated
13:32i never thought i would get to this point i've decided to come back to utah and be back with
13:40mom talk
13:49today zach asked if he could come down to utah to talk to me i was pretty firm about us being
13:56separated so i can figure out what i need and just what's best for a relationship it's hard
14:02because a couple months ago zach and i were committed to going to new york for med school
14:07i honestly think you're gonna love new york do you think i'll be missing mom talk i honestly don't
14:14but then zach got accepted to arizona we ended up moving to arizona things for zach and i continue
14:19to be pretty rocky for me to want to fight for a marriage i need to feel like he's putting my
14:25feelings before his hi hi baby hi
14:37can i come in yeah sure where do you want me to put this you just put it right there yeah
14:45this place looks nice isn't it cute yeah if you don't mind i'd like it to be my new spot too
14:51um
14:57the last couple months have been hard obviously and been really hard
15:05i know i messed up like the way i treated you like no matter what you had done those
15:10things should have never been said and i have to live with that the rest of my life
15:14i want to prove to you that i love you and that like i am a good husband i am a good father
15:20i want to fight for our marriage and that's why i'm here after vegas it felt like the whole world
15:27was against us and wanted us to get a divorce i had so many regrets about how i had acted
15:34and the way things had gone down i definitely feel like there's still a lot of work to do
15:42to do as far as changing and becoming who i want to be i'm in therapy i've been working on like as
15:48long as you want to be here and you love her you need to let her live her life the way she wants
15:51or she's never going to be happy so i'm here letting you live your life the way you want so
15:56you can be happy for so long i think he truly believed that like his feelings were more important
16:03within the mormon church it's very expected for the women to be submissive to their husbands but
16:10for me whether this helps me become a stronger member of the church or maybe turn away from the
16:17church i think in order for this marriage to work we have to be equals i want to fight for our
16:23marriage but i feel like i've been blaming myself for so many years thinking that i was the issue
16:32or i was too sensitive i feel like this is like the first time in my life that i need to put my
16:36foot down like i want my partner to know me so well that they'll think of me and my feelings
16:45before anything else and anyone who doesn't respect that i like they're not going to be a part of my
16:55life even if i were to have gone to chippendales danced with those men i'm still the mother of
17:05your children i'm still your wife do you know what i'm saying yeah it's time that i put my foot down
17:16i'm choosing mom talk yeah and if that means i want to go to chippendales i can go to chippendales
17:22and if you don't like that then like i think my actions speak a lot more than my words and like
17:29i'm i'm here like you know i reached out to my dean and put in my application to leave medical
17:37school and my feelings towards mom talk haven't honestly completely changed but i feel like a lot
17:45of our marriage i've made it about me and the things i want to do and you've kind of just
17:49supported me in that i don't know what i'm going to do with my life to be honest yeah but i'm here
17:55to support you and support your career you're willing to give me a chance like that's all i'm
18:03asking for to show you i'm asking if i can if i can stay um
18:18the thing that i'm worried about is does a part of you still feel like you
18:23want to go back to your medical school yeah i mean i do have a year leave of absence so
18:29it is possible but for now i'm just focusing on us like i need someone right now
18:35well i'm here i know you've been a dick to me
18:42yeah yeah i know sweetie i know why you're mad at me and not only that but your friends
18:50the mom talk girls to be honest it is a little bit hard to be a part of
18:54mom talk right now because of all of that do you think you'd want to have a conversation
19:01with some of the girls i mean hearing the things that they said about me a lot of those things
19:09were all like blatant lies but i reached out to every single one of the girls do you guys
19:14want to hear the voice memo wait you have it i have it hey jesse this is uh zach just wanted
19:19to send you guys a quick voice message obviously i you know never plan on those texts being seen
19:25but they were and regardless i shouldn't be i've never planned on those is he only apologizing
19:32anyways thank you so much hope you guys are doing well this is like a copy and paste of what he
19:36said yeah like it was like a script and it's chat gpt no 100 and did they respond no i
19:45because i mean i realized what i did was wrong obviously those texts were never meant to be
19:49shared but still like i shouldn't have been saying those things for me to let you back into my life
19:57and for us to give this another shot i think i'm going to need a lot of time to just think about
20:03this so i think that we should keep the arizona home until changes are being made leaving med
20:12school isn't enough so with that being said if you are going to live here what changes are you
20:20going to make obviously you can't change overnight i think this is going to be a long journey i
20:27definitely have a lot of expectations for him this time around and there's going to be some
20:33boundaries and guidelines moving forward i'm trusting you that you can show up for me yeah
20:42i'm trusting you that you'll be on my side
20:48meaning you won't talk over me but meaning you'll hear me out meaning you'll understand and validate
20:52me meaning that you will generally think of me my feelings before your own feelings which i know is
20:58going to be very very hard with your personality but that's what i need that's what i want and
21:06every woman deserves that i do believe jen and i were meant to be together and i felt that since
21:12the day i met her and i will continue to fight for that as long as she also wants the same i think a
21:18lot of people who are raised in the church are raised in a particular way and they don't even
21:22really realize some of these patterns i put a lot of pressure on myself and jen to be a certain way
21:28i'm not currently going to church and i'm hoping moving forward that we can just be a little bit
21:34more authentic to ourselves can i have a hug you can have a handshake i'm just kidding okay
21:43i love you at least we're not going through what dakota and taylor are going through
21:51hi i'm taylor when i was four years old i met my dad for the first time he said
21:55what's up kid that was the only thing i got and then i brought the gummy bears
22:00you would get the best of me you're wrong the truth comes out eventually
22:07i'm not sleeping with the enemy so i'll forgive and i'll forget
22:16hello hi how are you good you look so cute yeah right you do we match the same vibe
22:25sweats cozy comfort yeah i'm always in sweats so that's how it is for me
22:30how are you feeling not good i'm like obviously freaking out right after ever was born dakota
22:39and i were living together and in bliss with our new baby and i was even considering engagement
22:45and then i learned that he was lying this entire time if this is stating that i've cheated on you
22:51since i've dated you not true dakota is a liar um big shocker so i talked to jenna earlier this
22:59year hi is this jenna i just have some questions about you and dakota and once i told taylor about
23:06it she wanted to kind of push back and hold off especially until she had the baby today i am
23:12meeting with jenna i'm ready to finally get the full story from both ends my point here today is
23:20to get clarity on all of it i have dates down to the t in my brain of what was said and what was
23:25done so i know what he told me and when he was at my house and everything so i've done a lot of
23:33shitty things and maybe this was my karma you know but i feel like i've had my karma already
23:37yeah like why am i still getting karma i don't think it's karma i think it's just like you're
23:42like in the space where it's time to like move forward should we sit yeah you just need to relax
23:49for a second it's so hard stepping in stone i feel like really sick i know it's gonna be hard
23:54but it's like you need to know this to move forward in either direction because you already
23:58know what they're gonna be about no i like yeah but i don't this will be like the closure you
24:04need to like close this chapter whether it goes well or bad it's like at least you know and it's
24:09not gonna eat you alive anymore yeah we're good life's great if jenna confirms what dakota has
24:18told me i do feel like we can move forward but if he is still lying i'm done don't be a bitch
24:29set this bitch in motion she's emotional i ain't trying to make this conversation
24:35oh
24:54everything's gonna be great don't worry
25:05walk away hello come on in glad you made it okay
25:13um you can just sit over there
25:24so
25:34how's it going good how are you i'm okay yeah yeah
25:41i can't even tell you how incredibly awkward this is like oh gosh i don't even know what to do i'm
25:47like do i do i turn a song on do we do we hold hands and sing like what do we do i don't even
25:52know it's the most awkward thing in my entire life it's like dead silent it's like so uncomfortable
25:58yeah i know but it's not you it's the situation yeah and you're just unfortunately the one that
26:06was in the situation yeah like i feel like i like needed this for like so long yeah and i feel like
26:13i have such like so many trust issues and like anxiety and all the things so like i just want
26:18you to feel good you know yeah well thank you i knew that there was something off and
26:24i just wanted truth yeah and i would feel the same i'll show you all the texts and all the things
26:31yeah that would actually be great okay i'm shaking
26:36i'm glad that jenna is coming forward and showing her messages because it's not an easy
26:40thing to do it's honestly incredibly awkward and she basically said she would do it because
26:44she wouldn't want to be in taylor's shoes and she would want to know the truth
26:49silence this is gonna take a minute so honestly sorry yeah you guys can keep talking
27:00but yeah
27:04did you hang out august 3rd do you remember there was one time we went to the trampoline park one
27:08time we went to the dinosaur museum yeah and then one time he came over and we watched a movie
27:14what did you guys do that day what did we say it's saying do you like want to come to me
27:19you sent him your address no he said on my way okay yeah he did yeah okay yeah he said he never
27:27hung out with you that day okay well so he spent the night that night i don't know exactly if it's
27:33that night i do know that he spent the night more than once okay okay what'd you do the first night
27:41did you do anything with him it says i really hope you don't hate me i'm sorry if that went
27:46if we went too far last night we never had sex for sure i'm it's okay you can be straight up so
27:53i feel like we did a little bit more than just making out i feel like we just like probably
27:57did maybe hand stuff i don't even think i would have done it to him though because being raised
28:01mormon i just was like so i'm sinning so he's saying hey do you want do you want to come over
28:08i'm just hanging with friends so did you go to him that night august 4th 5th no i didn't go that
28:12night but clearly he invited you over yeah he was like texting me all day this day he came over to
28:25your house and he's saying thank you for letting me crash at your house and he came over that night
28:29to my house and spent the night and fucked me so yeah
28:31he apologized for everything like that night it's so awful this is actually so awful he
28:40definitely lied a ton so he deleted a lot yeah now i get why he was so terrified of all of this
28:50i found out a lot of things that were not being told the truth this entire time
28:55he made it seem like she was the one that was always instigating and begging
28:59no it was him he said he had just kissed her on the couch nope he went on the couch they
29:06hooked up on the couch and then they went to the room they hooked up he's trying to hang out with
29:09her in the day respecting her apologizing because he went too far with her which he didn't freaking
29:15even have sex with her but he's apologizing to her where the fuck is my apology for hurting me
29:20that day i was the night girl that you came over to at night and you were asking her on date dates
29:28and telling her cute things i feel like a piece of fucking trash in our faith we were taught to
29:36wait for the person that we want to marry and end up with and i feel like obviously if i hadn't
29:43been sleeping with him that early on i don't think i would have been as hurt and it's why
29:48it's a guideline because it's gonna prevent these types of things from happening i'm sorry
29:55jennifer no i'm sorry for this and it's like not even you that's what sucks so you posted a tiktok
30:02with him in your bathroom and i just had like this feeling in my chest like don't trust him
30:07kind of and i said are you dating taylor and he told me no it's just for clout and like she's
30:12just helping me build like my social media he said that that he was just seeing taylor for clout
30:19yeah
30:22so
30:42i'm so sorry i hate it i hate it
30:46i just feel horrible for taylor like i it's hard because i don't even know how to comfort her i
30:52just feel for her like i feel the pain that she's feeling and like i've never seen her like this
30:57i'm over here asking him to hang out and he's lying and saying i can't
31:01and he's like texting her to hang out and saying jenna baked me
31:06oh
31:11he made you sound desperate and he's the one texting you but at least you don't know
31:16like your feelings are right it's valid what you're feeling this whole time
31:25it's okay
31:26you're so strong i loved him i loved him i know
31:33um
31:52it's just a spider you see there's no on the mountain
31:57she actually has three well she's about to have three
32:00hello i definitely missed the friendships that came with mom talk i'm really hoping to be able
32:06to reconnect with whitney and i've known whitney for a few years now and i did see her at the cowboy
32:11pillows event but it has been a while since we've really been around one another you look amazing
32:19after the cowboy pillows event i'm not sure where i stand with everybody so
32:23i'm starting with whitney i cannot believe it's as toasty as i know it was like so
32:27literally put all of us in hoodies i'm like seriously i'm like i'm not even wearing anything
32:31under this not my kids aren't either i'm like i'm sweating i know i mean i guess i could
32:37lay out in my bra there you go i am one of the mom taco g's taylor definitely i feel like ran the
32:45show i think she's definitely the best at that but taylor had no plans of doing it by herself so
32:50i came i first invited whitney and then it just kind of snowballed isn't coco the same age as
32:55liam she just turned three oh my gosh that's insane because i remember making videos when
33:00you were pregnant isn't that wild i totally get why everyone's questioning and weird that
33:04miranda's coming back into the fold right now but like genuinely i just feel like i can relate
33:09with her because she obviously needed that time and is now having the courage or strength or
33:14whatever to come back and also can we please have a new villain that person cannot be me
33:21the cowboy pillows thing like they thought that you were still lying about this weighing scandal
33:26what i don't think that's a conversation i would want to have with the other no and honestly it's
33:30none of our business exactly who cares exactly and that's that's the thing is that i'm just like
33:33i've always wanted to resolve it with just taylor because it's like even though she felt the need to
33:38do it like come out and do it online yeah i'm also like i would rather not solve it all online
33:43because there has been so much that's like the whoa like have we not learned our lesson yet
33:48holy hell and i really just honestly overall i just want it to be like i know i'm like taylor
33:53girl we've got to get you out of 2022 yeah obviously things were a little awkward at the
34:00event so i am hosting a happy hour at my house just to kind of break the ice i kind of want to
34:08really get more of a feel if the girls are open to the idea of me rejoining mom talk or not and
34:15i invited whitney because i would love to have a friend's support i'm curious i'm curious to
34:21see where time takes us like the fact that you're coming back i wonder if someone will leave i'll
34:27make my own mom talk with my kids suspect thinks they're getting pregnant at 16 is a flex
34:45i'm so scared i can't wait to see mikaela pee her pants have you guys gone to haunted houses
34:56before i love this shit i do it every year i've been to many haunted houses i love being scared
35:03i don't really know if the church has a strong stance against it but i do know that anything
35:07satanic that can invite in bad spirits is frowned upon so haunted houses are probably the more
35:12playful side of that you're gonna be fine it's gonna be just fine my mom literally never took me
35:18to haunted houses ever i hate haunted houses so much they give me the worst vibes you're gonna
35:25be fine just close your eyes i don't know why i'm paying for these people to make my skin crawl
35:30when whitney does it for free
35:42bye daddy i feel like i'm missing a heart attack i'm not kidding
35:53that's it i'm going back to church
35:58that was nuts yeah you did it we deserve a drink literally i'm thirsty after that
36:04make it a jumble oh
36:10thank you good job guys you're surviving mom talk survive
36:16we got two saints and two sinners we're gonna pull you guys to the dark side oh
36:21speaking of can we bring up happy hour yeah can we talk about that first yeah why are we all
36:26invited so miranda dm'd us an instagram out of the blue all of the mom talk girlies and she wants
36:31to have us over for a happy hour i don't understand why she's trying so hard to reach
36:36out now when she had three years to do it and never cared to i'm just kidding i know why
36:43because she wants that bag baby i think she burnt her bridges and now she sees how well mom talk is
36:48doing and now she's just coming on back in at a convenient time isn't she but we can't let people
36:53in who just want clout anyone that comes in at this point is clout chasing that just is what it
36:58is are you guys gonna go i don't really want to because like am i forced to go i'm like anyway
37:06you're like i don't know why we're even entertaining any of this shit for us it's
37:10like why would we want to have you back in you know i'm curious like what she'll say though
37:15because i feel like the other day at the event we were all shocked by what she was saying oh i was
37:20having none of it i was like um i feel like you guys were kissing her ass what well okay i don't
37:25know miranda so that's the thing is i don't know how to act if it's not me kissing ass or me being
37:30like oh i really want to give you a chance it's that i literally don't give a shit about anything
37:36other than the truth i want to hear both sides if i'm being honest also i'm not ever going to be the
37:40type of person that is just going to be like a bitch to be a bitch like i don't know i get that
37:47but also again like whitney it's a consequence of your own actions if you're gonna lie
37:51and then throw taylor under the bus for two years then obviously we're gonna give it back
37:55it was so weird though i would love to sit down taylor and randa together and get out
38:01never heard the story from both of them at the same time yeah which who knows how that's gonna
38:05go because they're different stories we're gonna bring our popcorn and we're just gonna watch
38:09what if they just start making out i absolutely think that truth is the basis of trust so they
38:15need to sit down and have this conversation and completely hash this out especially if
38:19miranda is going to be welcomed back into the fold it's hard because i feel like there's always
38:24her side her side and then the truth so i kind of want to just get to the bottom of it because
38:28if taylor was lying that's a big deal
38:49oh come on hi why do you have the baby because dakota had to go to work why didn't he call me
39:00i don't know what he didn't even ask me so that's really weird oh i know after everything with jenna
39:09i call him like you lied like way more than i thought there was way more messages deleted
39:14and i was like how did you do this like how have you how have you done this to me i was kind of
39:17like looking for some sort of like explanation at the end of the day they're just not like what
39:21is done is done all he can say is like i'm sorry at that point i distanced myself for me it was
39:26just i don't even want to hear it i don't want to hear the excuses how are you feeling by the way
39:30oh i'm better does my face look okay yeah yeah is your your slings going down yeah how's it feeling
39:37it's feeling okay do i look okay yeah funny no you just look really swollen so you look different
39:41but like i think once it goes down it'll be fine yeah um but you look good and i love your nose
39:45oh i love it too so my mom wanted to get a nose job and then got her whole face done
39:54when i saw her post-surgery i was like mom what did you do she looked like she got hit by a bus
40:02do i look your age uh i wouldn't i go that far but she's healing well and if she feels great
40:10great hi buddy he's so cute i'm sorry baby i think he's teething how are you doing i'm okay
40:21i met up with jenna yeah it's just all the lying that really hurts i feel like i fell in love with
40:26like someone that like doesn't exist he's not the guy that i thought yeah at all now it's like
40:34where do we go from here yeah and that blanket i know um i feel like i just can't like even
40:43try like i feel like the only thing i i've ever asked of dakota is to be honest yeah that is
40:49the only thing if he was to walk away like could you handle it i choose walking away than those
40:56things i just found out it's gonna be awful yeah i agree i don't want that but i am not gonna settle
41:02i had a stepdad growing up but i've always called him dad because he adopted me at two and
41:06he's been the father of throughout my life so he's my dad but i think my trust issues stem from my
41:12biological father leaving me at a young age and i think that's why i'm so stuck i met my dad once
41:19my mom took me to a restaurant i don't know how old was i four maybe and he sees me he's like
41:26what's up kid and that's literally like all he says to me and i remember like turning around and
41:33going back to my booth i had never heard from my dad after that day that has stuck with me
41:39more than i ever thought when you feel like you're not loved by your your dad and that's the only
41:44words he has to say to you i think i don't know i think there's just a wound there that's been
41:49there for a very long time that i've never addressed and that's why i'm probably fixating
41:54i'm like really angry like i'm like asking god i'm like why this too like why this too
42:01like i came into this relationship wanting it to be different and like loyal and good i feel used
42:08and played and like trash like why am i still on this couch crying like a year later it's so annoying
42:15i'm sorry
42:31i'm like angry
42:34so what do you do you keep trying i really wish you would have thought of things before
42:41you got pregnant from him just like we said you know like take your time because it hurts everybody
42:48like not just you you have three kids now and you need to focus and put their lives in front of
42:53yours you and dakota like this needs to be your priority that's a foundation of our lives is our
43:00family if anything that the lds church has like that foundation of a family is something that i
43:06strongly believe in your generation i think is just like okay it's not working see you later
43:12and it's not like that it's like but it hasn't been working i know i know but still taylor you
43:18need to try i'm at a loss i'm uh i'm at a loss right now i do love dakota but at the same time
43:27i won't ever be able to trust you and so now it's like what do we have so i am gonna tell him please
43:33don't come back home you are immediately out of my house because the only way we're
43:37ever gonna work out is if you let me breathe for a minute
43:40okay here we go hi how are you guys good how are you good welcome so just fill all this out
44:07thank you what do you want me to put married or separated depends on the day we'll put married
44:15for today for today i can put yeah okay come on in zach and i will definitely have a lot to work
44:22on and ketamine therapy is supposed to reset a lot of past traumas or habits you've created
44:33ketamine is in the gray area when it comes to the church yeah the church doesn't promote
44:38ketamine but it's definitely not like a commandment zach trying ketamine is a pure example
44:45of how much he's willing to do to show up for a relationship this reminds me of when i used to
44:52donate plasma it's too late to back out now yep a little bit you started
45:01i never thought we'd get to this point where we'd be doing drugs together
45:06oh it hit me it's hitting me right now
45:11oh
45:20that's the hardest thing i've ever done you come cuddle next to me once you're done
45:32okay zach i'm just gonna take your ip up now
45:34okay were we out for a long time i can't remember i'm gonna come over and give you a hug whoa
45:49i just had some memories of when we first started dating
45:54it truly felt like you were like my missing piece
45:59when we were in hawaii when we were like running through like the coffee fields
46:03i was thinking i was like
46:09i was like i would literally give anything in the world to relive that day
46:15i just want to be happy again yeah
46:28jen and i do love each other and we are a team and it's easy when you get back to the root of
46:35why you love each other being able to relive some of those memories and think some about some of
46:40those times i've had with jen yeah i just kind of realized just how special she is to me a month
46:46before i met you i remember kneeling down and praying out to god to help me find my person
46:57and he led me to you i want to fight for you and i will always fight for you
47:05so thank you i love you too
47:12i'm glad we could come do this yeah we need this
47:15so do you uh do you still plan on meeting up with demi and jesse
47:22it's important for me that zach makes peace with jesse and demi because i feel like tossed
47:28in the middle i just want to squash everything and resolves a lot of the resentment i think
47:33they're holding about zach it might be a good time you know after ketamine might be in the right
47:40in the right head space to talk to them yeah if they're really your best friends and they
47:44really care about you and i'm your husband then it's important that we have that conversation
48:03so
48:14taylor asked me to move out i'm gonna just move into a friend's house for like a little bit till
48:21i can figure out what to do i don't know it just sucks when i saw macy call jenna i don't know i
48:29just didn't want more problems so i actually decided to tell taylor like yeah we just made
48:36up we like try humped i fell asleep with her on the couch the thing that i left out that was like
48:44a big one was just that we were in a room because i knew that one would yeah that one would hurt her
48:52i deleted some messages that if she was to like read those i thought that would essentially make
48:57me lose her and my son i i did lie i was always doing it selfishly to protect myself
49:04i i just wish i was honest to her but it's too late
49:20you know
49:32it's hard too because uh our son's so perfect
49:38i feel a lot of uh guilt for him too
49:42um just feeling like i let him down i would do anything to have my family to be with taylor
49:56and yeah unfortunately i just i hurt her really bad and that i screwed up and that these are also
50:05consequences of my own actions i'm just sick of uh yeah i'm sick of hurting and i'm sick of like
50:13destroying things in my life due to myself
50:20taylor's the one person i've loved the most out of anybody
50:25it's just worth fighting for
50:26yes and that's what i'm gonna do
50:48going into the happy hour at my house there's definitely some nerves there
50:52going on i know that there is a lot of speculation about my intentions of
50:59rejoining mom talk one of the biggest is because i'm a single mom now and what i really am craving
51:07and wanting back is that support and that friendship but i know that i'm going to kind
51:13of have to win these girls over and i get it but i for sure feel like i'm walking into a lion's den
51:22we got a little mocktail situation going on here let's say mom talk on it what the hell
51:30i'm eating the m mom talks going to shit so i'm gonna go eat it
51:33walking in to see miranda's cheese spread that she's made for us and this cheese words that said
51:41mom talk i can't the smell of desperation oh lord stop it
51:56it's like i'm just gonna open it i'm surprised to see whitney here i'm just gonna have to play
52:01the game of just like stay away from whitney i do feel this sense of protectiveness around mom talk
52:08and i do feel like we need to protect it from people like whitney and maybe miranda who might
52:13have ulterior motives i don't want one more problem bleeding into the health of a mom talk
52:20your best friends here help yourself thank you i'm coming to this event today because i'm really
52:26loving building this relationship with miranda not that i'm a swinger but we have a lot of other
52:30things in common we've got two kids we're very level-headed people and i just want to support
52:37her because i'm sure they're about to have a really awkward conversation it's really good food
52:42honestly yes when did you go into labor with your other two were you really induced for everyone
52:49yeah i'm excited too because like i'm done oh you're done with three and done i would say three
52:54is the new six in utah right i don't know what to think about miranda and whitney's new relationship
52:59i just feel like their whole friendship seems a little bit phony right now and i honestly think
53:03it just came from a place of they're both trauma bonding over you know ruining friendships with
53:08everyone and leaving mom talk hello is this your house so cute thank you what did i miss nothing
53:18yet the vibes are just off um and i think it's because michaela leila and macy are against
53:28miranda joining mom talk because they are team taylor but to be honest i actually don't mind
53:34miranda and she's a single mother so as a woman i don't see why we can't support her we can also
53:42move if you guys are done eating we can move over to the couch so you guys don't have to sit on the
53:45back of the couch i'm gonna be honest i'm shocked you're still showing up to mom talk stuff after
53:51after everything
53:53wow also like vegas i don't know if i can trust you yeah just like no one's
54:00i mean i literally reached out to everyone in the group message you weren't in the group message so
54:04you didn't see this i basically said like hey you guys like i'm struggling right now
54:08zach and i are struggling i would appreciate it if you didn't feed into any of the
54:12negativity online right now yeah um just while we're figuring stuff out no one responded oh
54:18sorry it's just yeah i would hate that
54:24hello come on in i decided to come to miranda's happy hour because i am trying to take control of
54:32my life one separating from dakota and two i'm curious what she has to say to the group because
54:38if she decides to pull some lies out i will be there to set it straight but i will not be called
54:44a liar when i'm not a liar i'm done with that macy
54:53she's like too many people i don't want to be like rude but i also like like if you're the
54:57one inserting yourself into our group now like i feel like we almost have to like say how we feel
55:03oh my gosh there's memories oh like what kind of memory i'd love to get all that cleared up
55:10here's a time to print so clearly there's a conversation to be had
55:15yeah between taylor and miranda i know i think everyone
55:21oh let's do it well i guess my first question is what was the intention between inviting all of us
55:27over here like i'm genuinely curious because we haven't really talked to you in like two years
55:31right i was kind of like i just would like to have you guys over to kind of like clear the air
55:36have it be like an ice breaker i really want to put everything behind us and move forward i feel
55:41like it all just comes down to timing again i just feel like convenient timing to come back in and be
55:46like oh i'm ready to be friends again everything feels kind of fake to me about it even the
55:49conversation we had just the other day at the event it was like oh we only kissed and i was
55:53like well that's not what we heard at all either it's frustrating when someone's lying through
56:00their teeth and because you're threatening my relationship with all of my girls and mom talk
56:05i hope that the girls will have my back because it's going to get messy for sure
56:18what i'm hearing is you deserve what you got you're saying i was trash
56:22when you guys are together it's eating you alive don't touch me don't touch me
56:27please mom talk within this group there are so many secrets so many lies do you ask her about
56:33the confession that macy got i slept with demi's husband last year this is not what we were a year
56:40ago seems like everybody's got skeletons in the closet who's lying to us the only time i touched
56:45anyone was kissing that is a lie is that true or false that is 100 of blatant lie the crap that
56:52i've been through for defending you and your actions this is our marriage this isn't a game
56:57i gave consent for your husband to rub his little dick on me okay well this escalated quickly
57:05dear kind heavenly father please strengthen our friends i don't let myself feel sometimes
57:10and it's still hard for me i would be fighting to the death defending you does this mean i'm
57:17back in mom talk i'm calling you out on your shit okay let's fucking do it the truth needs
57:22to be brought to light it'll never be the same ever i'm just not her biggest fan for what she's
57:26done to like you yeah denise trying to get the whole group against me i will make her look like
57:31such a fool she was playing truth or dare with a ton of single men look at you fucking lie oh
57:37shit world war three is breaking out
57:42what the fuck you gonna do what the fuck you gonna do