Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
Rapid Reel
  • today
Virgin Island - Season 1 Episode 1
#VirginIsland #CinemaJourney
Transcript
00:0012 virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment the word
00:14virgin people see it as a joke it's quite upsetting i'm 23 still a virgin i feel like
00:22there's something wrong with me in a world where sex is everywhere my god terrified absolutely
00:30terrified the truth is surprising there are more adult virgins than ever being a young adult in this
00:37day and age it's difficult social media dating apps influencers tv shows porn porn porn porn is
00:44everywhere are you self-conscious about our genitals touching each other now yeah this radical retreat
00:52is offering a very hands-on solution oh yeah she's a miracle worker woohoo oh god yes overseen by a group
01:01of experts yeah like that i like that ready to do anything to help britain's virgins there's the
01:10clitters do you have any questions lose the one thing don't make you nervous they feel he's holding
01:18them back i would love to have sex with you i do feel like there's a barrier between me and sex i want
01:24to lose my virginity it's now or never but when the moment arrives would you like to move to bed
01:32who will be ready i just don't want anyone to touch me to go all the way
01:42here they come can you imagine i scared they are hello hi welcome for the next two weeks welcome my
02:03friend this experimental retreat will be home to 12 young people from all over the uk who desperately
02:13want help welcome so good to meet you everyone's so spiritual i could be a 40 year old virgin i feel
02:21like i'm on a really bad route right now and i need i need something to change hey tom i'm deva hi nice
02:27to meet you do you need a hand yet now uh yes cheers i describe myself as nervous i feel i look
02:33like one the glasses perhaps not the best physique so if i can lose my virginity that's one less thing
02:39for people to ridicule me over hi they're here to learn hi would you like a hug um i'm all right thank
02:48you okay from some of the world's most experienced experts on how to embrace intimacy oh hello welcome
02:56thank you i just can't do touch i don't know why i've never had a girlfriend my fear is that i'm
03:03always going to be a virgin like what am i doing wrong i've never been abroad before so so if anything
03:12i've popped my blind virginity yay my social life's non-existent all right i've got two cats i feed them
03:20i look after them but they attack me but i know they love me in the wrong way but yeah not very social
03:26this is where you'll be staying for the duration of their stay home sweetheart i mean it's not quite
03:36my usual color they'll wear a retreat outfit you know like prisoners who get out on good behavior
03:42to go pick up litter that's sort of the color palette we're working with so they can focus on
03:47themselves not their image basic but comfy i would like to walk away from the island with more self
03:55confidence because when you see a lot of celebrities on instagram they they just have everything so
04:02perfect comparing myself to people online disrupted my self-esteem and it's something that i've been
04:08struggling with for so long it is so easy to say don't worry about the way you look in the mirror
04:15but then it is so hard to put that into action i think once i'm more content with myself i will then be
04:22able to live life and losing my virginity would probably be my final goal
04:27this is going to be your hangout zone oh that looks fantastic it's beautiful
04:42can i get over how clear the water is
04:44before the course begins the group have a chance to get to know each other at the hangout
04:51oh hello hey guys you okay i'm taylor nice to meet you nice to meet you i am bisexual
05:00i do know what i'm interested in but with boys and girls the only experience i've ever had of being
05:05negative you kind of feel like it's just you who's having this issue and nobody else is
05:11is that quite isolating yeah it's very isolating yeah
05:19yeah sorry
05:23oh hello all right i'm tom i'm zach zach nice to meet you zach how are you okay very good yeah
05:30i went to university for three years but i was depressed in many ways by the fact that i'm a
05:38version i didn't get the degree i should have got never since i've been stuck doing jobs that i never
05:45really wanted to do i'm tired of the person that i've become it can't go on
05:57the group sessions are where most of the touch stuff is going to be done the thing i'm dreading is
06:01hugging did you not hug at the the start nope are you having anything i i shut the hands i don't
06:06do i don't do hugs yeah shut the hand oh and i would have been like no i'll jump in the water
06:10no i don't hug it it's the um therapy itself that scares me now i'm just getting more and more tense
06:19the virgins are clearly nervous about what lies ahead
06:22and that's understandable it's a course like no other okay good set up by ground-breaking sex
06:29therapists celeste and danielle eyes closed what's gonna happen on this island is mind-blowing breathe
06:38one in eight people at age 26 are still virgins in the uk this is happening all over the world
06:44even the french are having less sex with a team of international sex coaches
06:52trained in different touch therapies they'll help the group try to overcome their worries around
06:58virginity tucked away on the island a sexy therapy spaces and bedrooms where they can practice the art
07:07of intimacy you can't really learn how to play a guitar from a book and you can't learn how to give
07:14and receive pleasure by just talking about it sometimes the only way to help someone is to get
07:19physical they don't know it yet but each phase of the course will push them to their very limits
07:28as they take their first steps to sexual confidence
07:36it feels so good let's go
07:44it's a process that starts now are they waiting for us of course with the foundation of all sexual attraction
07:51welcome welcome welcome welcome desire
08:02we are so excited to start our workshops today and the first phase of this course is desire
08:08and letting shame go shame is very much attached to desire and turn-ons and so much of shame melts away
08:17when people come together and start to talk about sex each of you need to have a space and a pillow
08:24the first exercise will give celeste and danielle a clear idea of who in the group is open to desire
08:30wonderful start by closing your eyes and who may be resistant just listening to my voice
08:37ah i'm gonna start by taking a nice deep breath
08:47i'm gonna make lots of noise too by the way this may not be most people's idea of sex
08:53but for virgins celeste and danielle's research shows it's a great way to tune into your body
08:59breathwork is very powerful we use breath to help people expand on sensations release emotions so
09:09breath is key i'm gonna up the speed of the breath
09:13breath okay who was willing to make sound with me
09:26some are throwing themselves in wonderful you're doing it i love it good job
09:34ah but others seem more skeptical and for touch phobic jason
09:42it's more than he can handle
09:47it's amazing how much rest we need to take to warm up our body to feel more and experience more
09:54and get it in yeah take your feet yeah i love this dance
09:58ah with the next breath we're gonna raise our hands
10:10wonderful it's great okay celeste and danielle move on to the next exercise start by pairing up
10:17to teach them that before saying yes it's okay to say no all right so this exercise is about saying no
10:26so one of you is going to ask the other person for three things and then the other person is going to
10:32say no
10:39can i borrow 50 pounds oh no we need people to feel safe if people don't feel safe they won't feel safe
10:48to open up and start and try new things can i have to go on your golf cart absolutely not no can i
10:54i don't know what to say when i'm around a member of opposite sex i'm very awkward
10:59can i point you in the face
11:02no i tend to say things without thinking can i throw you in the seat no no i wish it was different
11:10love to be able to speak to a girl keep a conversation and go on a date that's my kind
11:16of dream can i feed you to a lion no why not violent take a seat yeah just sit and relax
11:27the level of inexperience is clear so celeste and danielle decide to test how the group reacts
11:32to intense intimacy i want to give you a little demo of what you might get to tease your appetite a
11:38whole bit andre we call it up against the wall
11:53so
12:04witnessing sexual desire for most of this group is clearly unsettling
12:17it's okay i actually want to get your first sort of like a visceral response it was like
12:31watching a sex scene with your parents but times 100. quite uncomfortable to be honest watching that
12:36yeah it's normal to have so let yourself have any feelings you want to laugh laugh if you want to cry
12:41cry it's all okay this big insecurity that i have when it comes to my looks means i can't imagine
12:49that someone would want to be with me in any way where you're so stuck in this mindset that someone
12:54would be ashamed to walk down the street with you it's like a never-ending cycle like a roundabout
13:01that doesn't stop when i was growing up i would always get labeled as the duff which is designated ugly fat friend
13:11so i would always believe that i was ugly so i think there's a lot that i need to work on
13:21all right we're going to come in a circle big round of applause
13:29thank you all bye bye what i got myself into i feel like i'm in a cult
13:35i'd be lying if i said it wasn't weird it seemed cultish it just seems like they've got this island
13:42where they live in a completely different world the up against the wall was interesting by the end
13:49i'd love to be able to do that i could not look after he kicked our legs apart that was too aggressive
13:55i think that's actually the most intimate i've ever seen people be in front of you
13:59i don't think i was fully ready for that because i'm so shut off to that sort of world i've never
14:09felt that sort of emotion i've walked away feeling really overwhelmed i'm a bit like brain boggled at
14:15the minute the course has just begun and so far they've only had a taste of the unconventional
14:21methods ahead the next workshop may be tougher and i may actually not be ready for that
14:39do you reckon there's any dead bodies in the water
14:43it's halfway through day one on virgin island
14:46coming out as a virgin is very difficult because i think in this day and age people see it as such
14:52like a negative for men we we hide it if you're a virgin because mostly because how other men will
15:00see them 100 so i told someone in our office that i'm a virgin and everyone who comes in they tell
15:05everyone i wish i was like smart to just say yeah i've had lots of the sex
15:11people have so much shame about being a virgin i think between rom-coms and porn there's so much
15:21perfectionism that's put out there like it's so much pressure that they're just terrified to try
15:27anything at all that's where we come in
15:32each step of the way the experts will share notes with each other about the group
15:36when you did the up against the wall exercise she started crying and after an emotional reaction
15:43during this morning's workshop their first concern is emma i could see her face she was like really
15:50feeling it really intense it was too much for her to see it really she was like picturing herself in
15:55the situation and she got very overwhelmed like that was my sense every afternoon there are one-on-one
16:03sessions across the island and first the experts want emma to explore her boundaries around intimacy
16:10with thomas during 23 years being single i've never had the experience of someone romantically touching
16:19me if i ever got presented with the situation of sex i would worry that i could have a panic attack
16:26hello okay i've never masturbated and i've never experienced an orgasm no there's no way that i could
16:36experience one other thing i want to propose you a little game around touch okay um you just ask for
16:46the kind of touch you really like okay what would make you happy to receive it's not something that
16:57i'm like oh i really wish someone would touch me john i don't think yeah okay um maybe yeah maybe you
17:05could touch my knee okay the idea is to test how emma reacts to escalating touch yeah thank you do you
17:17want to try somewhere else where you feel that might be more like uh involved maybe if you try upper thigh
17:25when it gets to this bit it gets a little bit like oh god like what's gonna happen sort of thing you it
17:39feels like you you mean you have some fear i feel like if you went around here i probably would have
17:47maybe had a panic attack i did as much as i could and i pushed myself to my limits for the level that
17:56i'm currently at but i don't think i was really ready for it i i feel quite drained i feel a bit upset
18:05well thank you so much and yeah we'll just come with you i feel she's kind of a bit stuck
18:13okay thank you see you again take care see you later goodbye she was going through it but really
18:19one toe at a time one step at a time emma's struggling hello charlotte do you want a hug no i'm
18:29all right thank you and as some of the others experience their first taste of touch therapy
18:34what's coming up for you i know it's a simple thing but like i feel like i'm doing a bad job
18:40it's clear emma's not the only one finding it difficult yeah right or close yeah i love 100
18:49how intimate would you describe it yeah probably like 90 i think that's where we call it don't
18:54step backwards please
19:01but booking the trend is zach oh come on in i'm so excited as well after throwing himself into the
19:08first workshop the experts want to test how far zach is ready to go i've always wanted to be
19:15accepted i've always wanted to be liked by others it's something i felt i haven't had
19:20at many points in my life i know you feel also like a failure around sexuality
19:25right time yeah yeah it's just it's so hard to let go of that of course i don't know if i can
19:31just have a tissue please wipe these away sex was a taboo my family never even to this day talks about
19:44it i grew up seeing my dad only once a week and he never talked about it so i can't get tips or ask
19:53someone hey how do i attract a woman it feels like i should have figured that all that out a long time ago
19:59also i don't feel attractive or handsome um i assume the way that other people see me
20:10it's negative i think generally i want to play a fantasy with you really
20:19danielle believes her methods can give zach the confidence he needs
20:23how close that's all right yeah but it's not like any therapy he may have seen before
20:33i'm just gonna kiss you gently and i want you to like see if you can really take it in okay
20:49how does that feel
21:09oh now i start to feel your arousal oh my god this is so sexy
21:16her hands-on technique works by giving zach a physical experience i just love how you bite
21:22your lip you're doing a form of somatic or touch therapy
21:33somatic therapy believes that just talking with someone is not going to be sufficient
21:38and we really need to help people through the body in order to really create some sort of change
21:44so thank you thank you
21:51no one's ever said that i'm sexy no one i'm feeling fuzzy all over in that session alone i've done things
22:01that i've been craving for a long time you're going conquering the world i'm making tons of progress
22:07back in the hangout the others are keen to find out more
22:15where have you been the one-to-one session was it good it's pretty intense oh neck kissing
22:21do you need a minute yeah
22:28the first day at the retreat has shown just how many issues the group has around sex shame and intimacy
22:37and as the sun sets on the island
22:38i see them staring at us oh i can just sense dread celeste and danielle have one last exercise hello
22:51so you each brought an item that is about letting go of some piece of shame that you're ready to be
22:56done with and we can't wait to hear your stories they'll each share a story that represents a past failure
23:04in the hope that they can move on i'll go
23:13my items about my first year uni um event event feelings for my fat mate um so i decided to get
23:20her a necklace um but before i could give it to her she made it very clear we were never going to be
23:26anything um i didn't handle the rejection too well and i just beat myself up every day about it in terms
23:33of how i ended things with her
23:40it's my first ever rubik's cube and the way i treat a lot of relationships as a puzzle i think that gets in
23:48the way this is a gift that one of my well my only ex got me i didn't really think it meant
23:56that much and i should have thrown it out a while ago
24:02this is a hoodie from a time in my life when i i just felt like really worthless and i didn't see a
24:11future for myself this is actually a diary from one of my only kind of dating relationships that i
24:22felt was too much for me at the time and um it's something that we need to go off
24:27my one's a bit more literal i have expired condoms
24:40my mate gave these to me before a house party and he said you're definitely going to need these
24:45um i didn't i think if anything signifies sexual failure it's having condoms go out of date
24:49so mine is a childhood photo i felt quite difficult to express emotions while i was this
25:00age i was more of a people pleaser into the point where i'd end up really damaging myself because i was
25:07more worried about their feelings rather than my own but i want to let go of the people pleasing
25:13aspects if you don't love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else thank you so much
25:21you're amazing okay well you made us cry this was really deep and really meaningful
25:28and we're just so proud of you amazed actually amazed yeah
25:32how did you feel i wanted to you know say goodbye to it it's like pulling a band-aid off
25:46i walked into it a bit skeptical on how i was gonna feel i'm trying to open myself up to learning
25:53new things but i don't know whether i've achieved a lot and i'm not looking forward to what tomorrow may
26:00hold jeez louise it is an intense day a long day tensions are only going to get higher
26:18stormy night last night stormy weather i think means upheaval change
26:24morning morning guys it's day two at the retreat smoothie it's strawberry milk
26:35the morning after last night's shame exercise how are you guys feeling about the presentation last
26:40night i wasn't expecting to be quite as emotional yeah i didn't really enjoy it
26:47now the experts hope the next exercise will move from shame back to desire we want to see what
26:56motivates them around sex and there's nothing more explicit than writing your erotic story
27:04the storm clouds are circling but it's not just the weather the group are bracing themselves for
27:09okay your next exercise right your hottest sexual fantasy okay oh my it's a fantasy so let yourself go
27:28with it don't hold back okay ciao ciao wonderful to see you bye oh my god did she say hottest or hardest
27:38hottest oh blind cross i want to go inside is anyone feeling a bit sick about writing this
27:46i certainly expect 12 virgins to struggle with writing an erotic story i don't think they will
27:52have much of a clue about what they want in terms of sexuality but you know we shall see
27:57this needs to have backing music over and it's like
28:00be able to go wow wow celeste and danielle want to test how in touch they are with their desires
28:10so far i've got a couple of openings it was a dark and stormy night obviously a classic
28:17confident after his one-on-one session with danielle yesterday zach is quick off the mark never before
28:23Or has he been so surprised is my other one.
28:28I think I'll try that. Yeah.
28:33But for others, revealing their innermost desires doesn't come easy.
28:38You have to try the grind stuff. I've never read that.
28:41I'm not erotic, so I have no idea how to write.
28:43Like, right now I'm writing, I've bought a lottery ticket.
28:47It's hard to say what my dream would be in a sexual manner
28:50when I haven't really been open to having a sexual manner.
28:55That makes sense.
28:58I'm trying to open myself up to learning new things,
29:01but it's difficult to do that when you're not happy with yourself.
29:08I haven't read anything.
29:10I am a senior parliamentary researcher for an MP in Parliament.
29:16I deal with the public, and I'm actually in a public speakers club.
29:19I'm perfectly comfortable doing that.
29:21But I thought having sex with just one person,
29:22for whatever reason, that just really is quite frightening.
29:26God, you've written a novel.
29:27Once you get started, it's a lot easier.
29:29Right, once you've got an idea.
29:30I don't even know how I'd write more on the page, like, to ask you.
29:33Just pick a subject and just start from there, honestly.
29:37Yeah, I suppose.
29:37And then just make it real sexy.
29:40Right?
29:40Oh, that's not me.
29:41Whatever floats your boat, you know.
29:43You're way more confident than I am.
29:45Yeah, I just, this, yeah, it's quite scary.
29:47Oh, God, we're in the amphitheatre.
29:55Stories written.
29:57The experts will watch to see who's embracing...
29:59Welcome back, everyone.
30:02Morning.
30:03..and who's hiding their true desires.
30:05So, we're going to invite you to share your fantasy with us.
30:14I'm not ready for this.
30:16Anyone want to volunteer to go first?
30:20Take the leap.
30:22It can be so empowering.
30:23I'll go first, yeah.
30:29Yay!
30:32So, my fantasy.
30:34It starts with me walking toward my castle.
30:37As I enter, I am greeted by Sofia Vergara,
30:40the Latino lady from Modern Family.
30:42She would say how great my castle is
30:44and how my wife is a lucky lady.
30:46I would then proceed to my master bedroom
30:48due to hearing my name being called by an almost angelic voice.
30:51My wife, brackets, not married
30:53as I don't want to lose the castle in a divorce.
30:56The sex is unbelievable
30:58and the best way to describe it
30:59is for you to imagine your very own fantasy
31:01and multiply the pleasure by ten.
31:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:05As more of the group step up...
31:10We reach a bit of land, covered in rocks.
31:12Fuck, there's our luggage.
31:14Hope she doesn't find my cum socks.
31:15LAUGHTER
31:16Some are struggling to reveal their desires.
31:19Instead, they're hiding behind humour.
31:23I didn't even get a chance to write anything
31:25cos I'd write this block.
31:26But, you know, I thought about it
31:27and I'd say I'd be with either Angelina Jolie
31:29or Anne Hathaway watching Villa in the Champions League.
31:31You know, she'd be just wearing a Villa top
31:32and that'd be that.
31:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:35Others...
31:37A sigh, a kiss, hot air against skin,
31:39fingers dancing across one another.
31:41The both of us would enjoy the experience fully.
31:44..seem happier to share their real fantasies and feelings.
31:47Aphrodite requires tributes made to her,
31:51an act of physical love,
31:53by a devoted and naive nymph.
31:56We'd head back to my house
31:58and she'd sort of lead me upstairs.
32:00You know, I'd pick her up,
32:02take her down on the bed,
32:05and I'd probably do something for her sex.
32:07I don't know what I'm doing.
32:08LAUGHTER
32:08We'd just naturally start kissing
32:11and she'd, like, bite my lip, pull down on it.
32:15Um, yeah, that's what it would be like.
32:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:19Let's go.
32:22Yay!
32:23But it's Zach who has the most explicit story of all.
32:27The shadow descended from the top of the hill,
32:30upon which stood a towering warrior.
32:33He removed his helmet to expose his fiery hair.
32:36A maiden stood forth.
32:38Remove your sandals, she commanded.
32:40Obligingly, he knelt down.
32:42In that moment, she lifted her skirt
32:43and forced his head between her knees.
32:46She let out a moan of pure ecstasy.
32:48She removed her dress,
32:49exposing her breasts and naked body.
32:51The warrior gented her many times,
32:53the bodies becoming one.
32:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:56Thank you, guys.
32:58That's just the first chapter.
32:59Anyone else feeling brave?
33:03OK.
33:04Yesterday's session with Thomas
33:06revealed the extent of Emma's issues around intimacy.
33:09But her erotic story could offer more insight.
33:12HE SIGHS
33:13My ideal fantasy would be
33:23a person coming into my life unexpected.
33:30A genuine, honest, supportive and kind male
33:34with no expectation of me,
33:36who has a genuine big heart,
33:38a love for the world,
33:40to treat others how we wish to be treated
33:42and to be happy
33:43and have the opportunity to grow together.
33:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:46You were fantastic.
33:50Really amazing.
33:51Right, Celeste?
33:52That was phenomenal.
33:53Phenomenal, phenomenal.
33:56Gather your stuff.
33:56Thank you so much.
33:59Amazing.
34:02I really like jokes.
34:03When I'm awkward, I'm trying to make jokes.
34:06My story wasn't very sexual.
34:09It's how I deal with awkward situations
34:10and things that I don't really know what to do.
34:13It's just a defence mechanism for me.
34:14Everyone seemed to laugh at it and likely,
34:16so it went better than I thought.
34:19I felt really good, actually.
34:21The story I was telling showed a lot about myself
34:24and, you know, I could see
34:25what experiences I want to have now.
34:28It was actually a little bit of a confidence boost,
34:31pushing myself and having the courage
34:33to go up there and do that sort of thing.
34:37It made me feel a lot better afterwards.
34:42A lot of people say to me,
34:44oh, you look young.
34:44I think I'm, like, 18, 19, 20.
34:46But then I always say,
34:48oh, it's because I never had a boyfriend,
34:49so I haven't been stressed out.
34:51You've never had a boyfriend?
34:52No, no.
34:53Wow.
34:54After a successful workshop,
34:57the dynamics between the girls and boys
35:00seem to be shifting.
35:02You definitely seem like
35:03one of the most confident of all of us, I'd say.
35:06I've worked very hard to be this confident.
35:10I, er...
35:12I think you're really pretty.
35:16So, I don't want to be in the sun for too long.
35:19OK.
35:20It was nice having that chat with you.
35:21Do you think Ben likes me?
35:24I've not noticed him being off of you or anyone else.
35:28No, it's just...
35:28I think he likes me, likes me.
35:30Oh, like, that way?
35:31Oh, OK.
35:32Yeah.
35:32I don't know.
35:32While sparks fly between Ben and Charlotte,
35:37not everyone is finding island life quite so easy.
35:42I think Jason needs a lot of basic, this is how you do this, this is how you do this.
35:50It's just, it's going to take time for him to feel the empowerment around touching other
35:55people, I think.
35:57Weirdly enough, my sex education, because I'd moved to school, I'd missed the sex ed week.
36:02So, basically, safe parks, my sex education.
36:06I've never touched a condom.
36:07The only thing I could know about women's and that, I mean, stuff would be on from TV and the internet, that kind of thing.
36:13If it was a game, I'm level one, that's interesting.
36:17I'd love to be able to level up in a way.
36:19Sound like a virgin explaining that.
36:21Oh, God.
36:23Come on in.
36:23So, the experts have planned a session on the basics of touch with Celeste.
36:29I've never really been able to be a touchy-feely person.
36:32Yeah.
36:33My family's like that, though.
36:34Like, my mum, she's never been a touchy, huggy person.
36:36But I know she loves me, I love her, but we can't do hugs, it's just not in our nature.
36:40I want to try putting my hand on top of your hand and see how that feels more...
36:46More intimate.
36:47Yeah, exactly.
36:48So, I could scooch to you.
36:49After this morning's workshop, Celeste wants to learn more about the real Jason behind the humour.
36:55Let's take some steps, you know?
36:57Yeah.
36:58And we can see, like, do you like putting your hand on mine?
37:00Do you like me putting my hand on yours, for example?
37:03So, you want to start with, like, just...
37:04Drugs.
37:04Yeah, just put it on there.
37:05Like that.
37:06Yeah.
37:07Is it okay?
37:08Like, does the sensation feel good?
37:10It's okay.
37:11Yeah.
37:12Yeah.
37:12All right.
37:13Okay.
37:13So, can we try it where I put my hand on your hand?
37:16Okay, yeah.
37:18Hmm.
37:19I feel like, because this is happening to me, it's like...
37:24A little overwhelming.
37:26Yeah.
37:27Yeah.
37:28Feeling uncomfortable receiving touch.
37:31When I work in, like, offices and stuff, I'm a bit worried I'm a bit too firm with handshakes.
37:35Mm-hmm.
37:36Jason takes matters into his own hands.
37:40Right.
37:41Like that.
37:43That feels good.
37:44Is that okay?
37:45I would even, like, let our palms touch a little bit more.
37:48For you.
37:49Okay.
37:51Like, like that.
37:53Like, do you feel, like, more like that kind of touch?
37:55Yeah.
37:55On safer territory.
37:57I feel so limp.
37:59You can give a little bit more pressure.
38:00One more?
38:00Yeah, let's do one more.
38:02Jason's flying.
38:03Like that.
38:04That was beautiful.
38:06Success.
38:06I was shitting myself, because I had no idea what I was in for.
38:10Right.
38:11All right.
38:12But I think it's just getting more intimate.
38:14To touch.
38:15I want to be improved.
38:16I want to be cured.
38:18Who wants a butt plug?
38:28I don't want to touch it.
38:30I don't think this has been inside.
38:31I don't know if it's been inside anyone.
38:34To encourage the group to broaden their sexual horizons.
38:37A couple more butt plugs.
38:38I could be like Wolverine.
38:39The experts have handed over a box of sex toys.
38:43Oh, these are fun.
38:46If I took your butt and you fart enough, hang on, could you actually blow it out?
38:51And left them to explore.
38:53Who wants to be tired of them?
38:55Go on, then.
38:56You know you'd be in a bed and there's somebody tied to, like, a thingy?
38:59It just helped reinforce for me, when I have sex, it's going to be vanilla.
39:03Just vanilla sex for me.
39:05I'm going to leave you like that now.
39:07Charlotte!
39:09Who wants the feather?
39:13Yeah.
39:15How does it feel?
39:17It just makes me feel like I'm being struck by chicken.
39:19Chicken?
39:20I want to lose my virginity on the retreat.
39:24Absolutely.
39:26All of the shame and the self-criticisms that come being a virgin, my hope would be that afterwards
39:32that would be gone, because you're not anymore.
39:34You don't have to put this label on yourself anymore.
39:39Hello.
39:41Hello.
39:42Hello.
39:43So far, Zach is adapting quickly to the course.
39:46Comfortable with hugs?
39:47Absolutely, yeah.
39:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:48Zach is starting to stand taller.
39:52He's more confident.
39:53Please have a seat.
39:55And after our last session, I think he's ready for our most advanced therapy.
40:01Working with a surrogate partner.
40:04A highly trained therapist able to have sex with a client.
40:08Today, I'm here to give you the introduction into surrogate partner therapy, what my role
40:14is, what Kat's role is, and, you know, a little bit about how this process works.
40:20Surrogate partner therapy has been around for quite a while, and it involved a therapist,
40:26a client, and a surrogate partner.
40:29It starts pretty slow with clothes-on embodiment exercises, just while we're kind of, like,
40:33getting used to each other, and I can learn what you like, and vice versa.
40:37The surrogate is helping them explore what it feels like to take your clothes off with
40:42someone, what it feels like to touch someone in an erotic way, and can go all the way to
40:49a full sexual experience.
40:52As you're comfortable with, we'll move to more organic encounters.
40:55There's kissing, oral intercourse.
40:58It will eventually feel like just practicing different sexual skills.
41:02That's the gist, yeah.
41:03Cool.
41:04Yeah.
41:05Got it.
41:06This is a container for you to practice a relationship, and so I am a licensed mental health clinician.
41:14You will be working with me with regards to, like, any emotions that come up, and that's,
41:18like, my side of the street.
41:20Got it.
41:21I'm going to let the two of you have the remainder of the session.
41:23All right.
41:24I will see you guys soon.
41:25Take care.
41:26Bye.
41:28Is there anything you want to talk about before we move to some body work?
41:34I don't think so, no.
41:35Okay.
41:35I'm going to have you lie down.
41:37Mm-hmm.
41:39So I'm going to touch you first, and I'm only going to touch your arm, and I'm going to use
41:44my hands, my arms, my face, and my hair, if that's okay?
41:48Yeah.
41:48I think it's really important to teach people how to have sex.
41:58Teaching, like, really basic relationship skills.
42:02When clothes come off, things get more erotic.
42:06Helping people be human again.
42:08It makes me want to do my job.
42:10While sex is the ultimate aim, Zach must build a connection with Kat before getting to that
42:18level.
42:18How was that?
42:30It was good.
42:31I was tingly.
42:31It was a good way.
42:33Yeah.
42:34Are you ready to switch?
42:36Mm-hmm.
42:36Yep.
42:36It was good.
42:46A surrogate partner bond.
42:49And really make sure you're feeling what feels good.
42:55Takes time to nurture, like any relationship.
43:05Okay, we're done.
43:06You're done?
43:07Yeah, yeah.
43:11What came up just then that made you feel like stopping?
43:16I think, you know, touching your arm is great.
43:18It feels amazing.
43:20It's just, obviously, I want more.
43:22Ah, okay.
43:22But it's a process, you know, like, that I wouldn't do more than that on a first session
43:26with anybody.
43:27Yeah.
43:28The speed of the surrogate program doesn't seem to be moving fast enough for Zach.
43:32So how far are you wanting to go with surrogate partner therapy?
43:36I would like to go all the way.
43:37I would love to have sex with you.
43:39You know, that's why I came here, really.
43:41Yeah.
43:41It's hard to connect with someone you just met, telling you, hey, I'm your surrogate.
43:46You will be eventually, maybe, if you want, having sex with me.
43:49Okay, so let's stand up.
43:52Let's just shake it up.
43:55But I do think I'll be able to lose my virginity.
43:57You know, have sex with Kat, eventually.
44:01I would like to.
44:02How was it?
44:08Yeah, so we were doing arm-touching, like, it was intense.
44:11Like, I didn't realise, like, I would have that strong of a reaction, to be honest.
44:15You know, maybe I'll lose my virginity very soon.
44:18But, yeah, very positive experience, I think.
44:20Pretty guys?
44:27Oh, we're down here with a big fire.
44:29After two days at the retreat, the first phase of the course is drawing to a close.
44:34Shame bonfire is a culmination of everything that we've done in the first phase.
44:41It's a chance for them to get rid of their shame items from yesterday and move on.
44:50We're going to call you up one at a time to let these old stories about yourself
44:55and these old ways of being and thinking go.
44:58And I am so delighted for you.
45:01Okay.
45:02Are you ready to let it go?
45:05Yes.
45:06Let it go!
45:08Let it go!
45:09Let it go!
45:11Woo!
45:13Let it go!
45:14The act of burning something is the act of letting go and saying, I can change now.
45:20Ready?
45:21Let it go!
45:22It felt really good to be able to release all my feelings into the fire.
45:27I feel a lot more confident.
45:29It's like a whole refresh of emotions.
45:33Let it go!
45:34Let it go!
45:36Let it go!
45:38I was stuck in a rut.
45:39I was stuck in a way of thinking.
45:41And I think this is my opportunity now to really change that.
45:45I'm keen to fill in more of the gaps.
45:49Woo-hoo!
45:50Let it go!
45:54Next time.
45:55They're quite attractive, so I mean, you know.
45:57Things heat up on the touch phase of the cars.
46:01There's another animal here with you on this rug.
46:05It was like watching a porno.
46:10As emotions bubble over.
46:11I just don't want anyone to touch me.
46:14I just have one minute.
46:18When things turn physical.
46:21I can't touch you, bro.
46:22You can't.
46:22I can't hold you.
46:26Oh, yeah.