Virgin Island - Season 1 Episode 1
#VirginIsland #CinemaJourney
#VirginIsland #CinemaJourney
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:0012 virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment the word
00:14virgin people see it as a joke it's quite upsetting i'm 23 still a virgin i feel like
00:22there's something wrong with me in a world where sex is everywhere
00:28thank god terrified absolutely terrified the truth is surprising there are more adult virgins
00:35than ever being a young adult in this day and age it's difficult social media dating apps
00:41influences tv shows porn porn porn porn is everywhere are you self-conscious about
00:47our genitals touching each other now yeah this radical retreat is offering a very hands-on
00:54solution she's a miracle worker oh god overseen by a group of experts yeah like that i like that
01:05ready to do anything to help britain's virgins there's the clitters do you have any questions
01:13lose the one thing don't make you nervous they feel is holding them back i would love to have
01:20sex with you i do feel like there's a barrier between me and sex i want to lose my virginity
01:25it's now or never but when the moment arrives would you like to move to bed who will be ready
01:33i just don't want anyone to touch me to go all the way here they come
01:55can you imagine i scared they are hello hi hi welcome for the next two weeks welcome my friend
02:04this experimental retreat will be home to 12 young people from all over the uk
02:08who desperately want help welcome so good to meet you everyone's so spiritual
02:19i could be a 40 year old virgin i feel like i'm on a really bad
02:23route right now and i need i need something to change hey tom i'm deva hi nice to meet you
02:28do you need a hand in there uh yes i will cheers i describe myself as nervous i feel i look like one
02:33the glasses perhaps not the best physique so if i can lose my virginity that's one less thing for
02:39people to ridicule me over hi they're here to learn hi would you like a hug um i'm all right thank you
02:50from some of the world's most experienced experts on how to embrace intimacy oh hello welcome thank you
02:56i just can't do touch well i don't know why i've never had a girlfriend my fear is that i'm always
03:03going to be a virgin i'm like what am i doing wrong i've never been abroad before so so if anything
03:12i've popped my blind virginity yeah my social life's non-existent i've got two cats i feed them
03:20i look after them but they attack me but i know they love me in the wrong way but yeah not very social
03:26this is where you'll be staying for the duration of their stay home sweetheart i mean it's not quite
03:36my usual color they'll wear a retreat outfit you know like prisoners who get out on good behavior to
03:42go pick up litter that's sort of the color palette we're working with so they can focus on themselves
03:48not their image basic but comfy i would like to walk away from the island with more self-confidence
03:57because when you see a lot of celebrities on instagram they they just have everything so perfect
04:03comparing myself to people online disrupted my self-esteem and it's something that i've been
04:08struggling with for so long it is so easy to say don't worry about the way you look in the mirror
04:14but then it is so hard to put that into action i think once i'm more content with myself i will then
04:22be able to live life and losing my virginity would probably be my final goal
04:28this is going to be your hangout zone oh that looks fantastic it's beautiful
04:42can i get over how clear the water is before the course begins the group have a chance to get to
04:48know each other at the hangout oh hello hey guys you okay i'm taylor nice to meet you nice to meet you
04:59i am bisexual i do know what i'm interested in but with boys and girls the only experience i've had
05:05been negative you kind of feel like it's just you who's having this issue and nobody else is
05:11is that quite isolating yeah it's very isolating yeah yeah sorry
05:23oh hello all right i'm tom i'm zach zach nice to meet you zach how are you okay very good yeah
05:31i went to university for three years but i was depressed in many ways by the fact that i'm a
05:38version i didn't get the degree i should have got never since i've been stuck doing jobs that i never
05:45really wanted to do i'm tired of the person that i've become it can't go on
05:57the group sessions are where most of the touch stuff's going to be done
06:00the thing i'm dreading is hugging did you not hug at the the start nope
06:04are you having anything i i shut the hands i don't do i don't do hooks yeah shut the hand oh
06:08and i would have been like no watch them in the water no i didn't hug it it's the um therapy
06:13itself that scares me now i'm just getting more and more tense
06:19the virgins are clearly nervous about what lies ahead and that's understandable it's a
06:24course like no other okay good set up by groundbreaking sex therapists celeste and danielle eyes closed
06:33what's gonna happen on this island is mind-blowing breathe one in eight people at age 26 are still
06:41virgins in the uk this is happening all over the world even the french are having less sex
06:46with a team of international sex coaches trained in different touch therapies
06:55they'll help the group try to overcome their worries around virginity
07:00tucked away on the island are sexy therapy spaces
07:05and bedrooms where they can practice the art of intimacy
07:10you can't really learn how to play guitar from a book and you can't learn how to give and receive
07:15pleasure by just talking about it sometimes the only way to help someone is to get physical
07:23they don't know it yet but each phase of the course will push them to their very limits
07:32as they take their first steps to sexual confidence
07:37oh it feels so good
07:41let's go
07:41it's a process that starts now
07:47they're waiting for us of course with the foundation of all sexual attraction
07:52welcome welcome
07:56desire
08:02we so excited to start our workshops today and the first phase of this course is desire
08:08and letting shame go shame is very much attached to desire and turn-ons and so much of shame melts away
08:17when people come together and start to talk about sex each of you need to have a space and a pillow
08:24the first exercise will give celeste and danielle a clear idea of who in the group is open to desire
08:30wonderful start by closing your eyes
08:33and who may be resistant just listening to my voice
08:37ah i'm going to start by taking a nice deep breath
08:47i'm gonna make lots of noise too by the way
08:49this may not be most people's idea of sex but for virgins celeste and danielle's research shows
08:57it's a great way to tune into your body breath work is very powerful we use breath
09:04to help people expand on sensations release emotions so breath is key i'm gonna up the speed of the breath
09:13you out there
09:14you might make or less
09:20okay who was willing to make sound with me
09:26some are throwing themselves in
09:31wonderful you doing it i love it good job
09:35but others seem more skeptical
09:37and for touch phobic Jason it's more than he can handle it's amazing our
09:48rest we need to take warm up our body to feel more and experience more and get it
09:55yeah take your feet yeah I love this dance wonderful it's great okay Celeste and
10:13Danielle move on to the next exercise start by pairing up to teach them that
10:18before saying yes it's okay to say no all right so this exercise is about saying
10:24no so one of you is going to ask the other person for three things and then
10:30the other person is gonna say no can I borrow 50 pounds no we need people to
10:44feel safe if people don't feel safe they won't feel safe to open up and start and
10:50try new things can I have go on your golf cart absolutely not no can I say when
10:56I'm around a member of the opposite sex I'm very awkward can I punch you in the face
11:01no I tend to say things without thinking can I throw you in the seat no no I wish it
11:09was different love to be able to speak to a girl keep a conversation and go on a date
11:15that's what kind of dream can I feed you to a lion no one all violent take a seat yeah just sit and
11:26relax the level of inexperience is clear so Celeste and Danielle decide to test how the group reacts
11:32to intense intimacy I want to give you a little demo of what you might get to tease your appetite a
11:39little bit Andre we call it up against the wall
11:46witness in sexual desire for most of this group is clearly unsettling
12:08okay I actually want to get your first sort of like a visceral response it was like watching a
12:31sex scene your parents but times a hundred quite uncomfortable to be honest watching that it's
12:37normal to have so let yourself have any feelings you want to laugh laugh if you want to cry cry it's
12:41all okay this big insecurity that I have when it comes to my looks means I can't imagine that someone
12:49would want to be with me in any way where you're so stuck in this mindset that someone would be ashamed
12:55to walk down the street with you it's like a never-ending cycle like a roundabout it doesn't stop
13:01when I was growing up when I was growing up I would always get labeled as the Duff which is designated ugly fat
13:08friend so I would always believe that I was ugly so I think there's a lot that I need to work on
13:19all right we're gonna come in a circle big round of applause thank you all bye bye I got myself into I feel like I'm in a cult
13:35I'd be lying if I said it wasn't weird it seemed cultish it just seems like they've got this island where
13:43they live in a completely different world the up against the wall was interesting by the end I'd love
13:49to be able to do that I could not look after he kicked our legs apart that was too aggressive I think
13:56that's actually the most intimate I've ever seen people in front of you I don't think I was fully
14:03ready for that because I'm so shut off to that sort of world I've never felt that sort of emotion I've
14:11walked away feeling really overwhelmed I'm a bit like brain boggled at the minute the course has just
14:17begun and so far they've only had a taste of the unconventional methods ahead the next workshop may be
14:23tougher and I may actually not be ready for all that it's halfway through day one on Virgin
14:46Island coming out as a version is very difficult because I think in this day and age people see
14:51it as such like a negative for men we hide it if you're a virgin because mostly because how other
14:59men will see them a hundred percent I told someone in our office that I'm a virgin and everyone who
15:04comes in they tell everyone I wish I was like smart to just say yeah I've had lots of the sex
15:11people have so much shame about being a virgin I think between rom-coms and porn there's so much
15:21perfectionism that's put out there like it's so much pressure that they're just terrified to try
15:27anything at all that's where we come in
15:30each step of the way the experts will share notes with each other about the group
15:36when you did the up against the wall exercise she started crying and after an emotional reaction
15:43during this morning's workshop their first concern is Emma I could see her face she was like really
15:50feeling it really intense it was too much for her to see it really she was like picturing herself in
15:55the situation and she got very overwhelmed like that was my sense every afternoon there are one-on-one
16:03sessions across the island and first the experts want Emma to explore her boundaries around intimacy
16:10with Thomas during 23 years being single I've never had the experience of someone romantically touching
16:19me if I ever got presented with the situation of sex I would worry that I could have a panic attack
16:26hello you okay I've never masturbated and I've never experienced an orgasm
16:34no there's no way that I could experience one other thing
16:38I want to propose you a little game around touch okay you just ask for the kind of touch you really like
16:48okay what would make you happy to receive it's not something that I'm like ah I really wish someone
16:59would touch me John I don't think yeah okay um maybe yeah maybe you could touch my knee okay
17:07the idea is to test how Emma reacts to escalating touch yeah thank you do you want to try somewhere
17:18else where you feel that might be more like involved maybe if you try upper thigh
17:25when it gets to this bit it gets a little bit like oh god like what's gonna happen sort of thing you it feels
17:39like you mean you have some fear I feel like if you went around here I probably would have maybe had a
17:47panic attack I did as much as I could and I pushed myself to my limits for the level that I'm currently
17:56at but I don't think I was really ready for it I I feel quite drained I feel a bit upset well thank you
18:06so much Emma and yeah we'll just come with you I feel she's kind of a bit stuck thank you see you
18:15again take care see you later goodbye she was going through it but really one toe at a time one
18:20step at a time Emma's struggling hello Charlotte do you want a hug no I'm all right thank you and as
18:30some of the others experience their first taste of touch therapy what's coming up for you I know
18:37it's a simple thing but like I feel like I'm doing a bad job it's clear Emma's not the only one finding
18:44it difficult okay right or close yeah yeah I love a hundred how intimate would you describe it yeah
18:51probably like 90 I think that's where we call it don't step backwards please but booking the trend
19:02is Zach oh come on in I'm so excited after throwing himself into the first workshop the experts want
19:11to test how far Zach is ready to go I've always wanted to be accepted I've always wanted to be
19:16liked by others it's something I felt I haven't had at many points in my life I know you feel also like a
19:23failure around sexuality right time yeah it's just it's so hard to let go of that of course I don't know
19:31if I can just have a tissue please wipe these away sex was a taboo my family never even to this day
19:43talks about it I grew up seeing my dad only once a week and he never talked about it so I can't get
19:51tips or ask someone hey how do I attract a woman it feels like I should have figured that all that
19:58out a long time ago also I don't feel attractive or handsome I assume the way that other people see
20:09me it's negative I think generally I want to play a fantasy with you
20:16Danielle believes her methods can give Zach the confidence he needs
20:23how close that's all right yeah but it's not like any therapy he may have seen before
20:31hmm I'm just gonna kiss you gently and I want you to like see if you can really take it in okay
20:41how does that feel
21:02now I start to feel your arousal oh my god this is so sexy her hands-on technique works by giving Zach
21:19a physical experience I just love how you bite your lip you're doing a form of somatic or touch therapy
21:26somatic therapy believes that just talking with someone is not going to be sufficient
21:37and we really need to help people through the body in order to really create some sort of change
21:44no one's ever said that I'm sexy no one I'm feeling fuzzy all over in that session alone I've done
22:00things that I've been craving for a long time go conquer the world I'm making tons of progress
22:07back in the hangout the others are keen to find out more where have you been the one-to-one
22:17session was it good it's pretty intense oh neck kissing to need a minute
22:22the first day at the retreat has shown just how many issues the group has around sex shame and
22:34intimacy and as the Sun sets on the island oh I can just sensed red Celeste and Danielle have one last
22:46exercise hello so you each brought an item that is about letting go of some piece of shame that you're
22:56ready to be done with and we can't wait to hear your stories they'll each share a story that represents a
23:03past failure in the hope that they can move on I'll go my items about my first year uni um event event
23:17feelings for my flatmate um so I decided to get her a necklace um but before I could give it to her
23:23she made it very clear we were never going to be anything um I didn't handle the rejection too well
23:30and then I just beat myself up every day about it in terms of how I ended things with her
23:35it's my first ever Rubik's Cube and the way I treat a lot of relationships as a puzzle I think that
23:47gets in the way this is a gift that one of my well my only ex got me I didn't really think it meant
23:56that much and I should have thrown it out a while ago this is a hoodie from a time in my life when I
24:06I just felt like really worthless and I didn't see a future for myself
24:16this is actually a diary from one of my only kind of dating relationships that I felt was too much for me at the time
24:24and um it's something that we need to go of
24:33my one's a bit more literal I have expired condoms my mate gave these to me before a house party and he
24:43said you're definitely gonna need these um I didn't I think if anything signifies sexual failure it's having
24:48condoms go out of date so mine is a childhood photo I felt quite difficult to express emotions while I was this
25:00age I was more of a people pleaser into the point where I'd end up really damaging myself because I
25:07was more worried about their feelings rather than my own but I want to let go of the people pleasing
25:13aspects if you don't love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else
25:16you're amazing okay well you made us cry this was really deep and really meaningful and we're just so
25:28proud of you amazed actually amazed
25:35yeah
25:37oh how did you feel I wanted to you know say goodbye to it it's like pulling a band-aid off
25:43I walked into it a bit skeptical on how I was gonna feel
25:47I'm trying to open myself up to learning new things but I don't know whether I've achieved a lot
25:56and I'm not looking forward to what tomorrow may hold
26:00geez Louise
26:02it is an intense day
26:04it's been a long day
26:06tensions are only gonna get higher
26:08yeah
26:10stormy night last night stormy weather I think means upheaval change
26:25morning
26:26morning guys UK
26:27morning
26:28morning
26:29it's day two at the retreat
26:31a smoothie
26:32it's strawberry milk
26:33get one
26:34the morning after last night's shame exercise
26:37how are you guys feeling about the presentation last night
26:40I wasn't expecting to be quite as emotional
26:43yeah
26:44I didn't really enjoy it
26:47now the experts hope the next exercise will move from shame back to desire
26:53we want to see what motivates them around sex and there's nothing more explicit than writing your erotic story
27:02the storm clouds are circling but it's not just the weather the group are bracing themselves for
27:09hello
27:11hello
27:12are you all right
27:13hello Xaniel
27:14okay
27:15your next exercise
27:17right
27:19your hottest sexual fantasy
27:22okay
27:23oh my
27:25it's a fantasy
27:27so let yourself go with it
27:29don't hold back
27:30okay
27:32ciao ciao
27:33wonderful to see you
27:34bye
27:35oh my god
27:36did she say hottest or hardest
27:37hottest
27:38hottest
27:39oh blind crass
27:40I want to go inside
27:42is anyone feeling a bit sick about writing this
27:46I certainly expect 12 virgins to struggle with writing an erotic story
27:50I don't think they will have much of a clue about what they want in terms of sexuality
27:54but you know we shall see
27:56this needs to have backing music over it and it's like bow chicka wow wow
28:04Celeste and Danielle want to test how in touch they are with their desires
28:10so far I've got a couple of openings it was a dark and stormy night obviously a classic
28:17confident after his one-on-one session with Danielle yesterday Zach is quick off the mark
28:22never before has he been so surprised is my other one
28:27I think I'll try that
28:29yeah
28:32oh
28:33but for others revealing their innermost desires doesn't come easy
28:3750 shades of grind stuff I've never never read that
28:40I'm not erotic because I have no idea how to write
28:42like right now I'm writing I've bought a lottery ticket
28:46it's hard to say what my dream would be in a sexual manner
28:50when I haven't really been open to having a sexual manner
28:54if that makes sense
28:57I'm trying to open myself up to learning new things
29:00but it's difficult to do that when you're not happy with yourself
29:04I haven't read anything
29:08I am a senior parliamentary researcher for an MP in parliament
29:14I deal with the public
29:16and I'm actually in a public speakers club
29:18I'm perfectly comfortable doing that
29:20but I thought having sex with just one person
29:22for whatever reason that just really is quite frightening
29:24God you've written a novel
29:26once you get started it's a lot easier
29:28right once you've got an idea
29:30I don't even know how I'd write more on the page
29:32like to ask you
29:34just pick a subject and just start from there
29:36honestly
29:37yeah I suppose
29:38and then just make it real sexy
29:39right
29:40oh that's not me
29:41whatever floats your boat you know
29:42you're way more confident than I am
29:44yeah I just this
29:46yeah it's quite scary
29:52oh god we're in the amphitheatre
29:54stories written
29:56the experts will watch to see who's embracing
29:59welcome back everyone
30:01morning
30:02morning
30:03and who's hiding their true desires
30:05so we're gonna invite you to share your fantasy with us
30:13I'm not ready for this
30:15anyone want to volunteer to go first
30:18take the leap
30:21it can be so empowering
30:23I'll go first
30:27yeah
30:28yay
30:29so my fantasy
30:33it starts with me walking toward my castle
30:35as I entered I am greeted by Sofia Vergara
30:39the Latino lady from Modern Family
30:41family
30:42she would say how great my castle is and how my wife is a lucky lady
30:45I would then proceed to my master bedroom
30:47due to hearing my name being called by an almost angelic voice
30:51my wife brackets not married as I don't want to lose the castle in a divorce
30:54the sex is unbelievable and the best way to describe it is for you to imagine your very own fantasy and multiply the pleasure by ten
31:06as more of the group step up
31:09we've reached a bit of land covered in rocks
31:12fuck there's our luggage
31:13hope she doesn't find my cum socks
31:15some are struggling to reveal their desires
31:19instead they're hiding behind humour
31:22I didn't even get a chance to write anything because I'd write his block
31:25but you know I thought about it and I'd say I'd be with either Angelina Jolie or Anne Hathaway
31:29watching Villa in the Champions League
31:31you know she'd be just wearing a Villa top and that would be that
31:35others
31:36a sigh, a kiss, hot air against skin, fingers dancing across one another
31:40the both of us would enjoy the experience fully
31:43seem happier to share their real fantasies and feelings
31:47Aphrodite requires tributes made to her
31:50an act of physical love by a devoted and naive nymph
31:56we'd head back to my house and she'd sort of lead me upstairs
32:00you know I'd pick her up
32:02take her down on the bed
32:04and I'd probably do something with all her sex
32:07I don't know what I'm doing
32:09we'd just naturally start kissing
32:11and she'd bite my lip, pull down on it
32:14and yeah that's what it would be like
32:17let's go
32:21let's go
32:23but it's Zach who has the most explicit story of all
32:27the shadow descended from the top of the hill
32:30upon which stood a towering warrior
32:33he removed his helmet to expose his fiery hair
32:35a maiden stood forth
32:37remove your sandals she commanded
32:39obligingly he knelt down
32:41in that moment she lifted her skirt and forced his head between her knees
32:45she let out a moan of pure ecstasy
32:47she removed her dress
32:49exposing her breast and naked body
32:51the warrior entered her many times
32:52the body's becoming one
32:53the warrior entered her many times
32:54the body's becoming one
32:57that's just the first chapter
32:59anyone else feeling brave?
33:02okay
33:03yesterday's session with Thomas
33:05revealed the extent of Emma's issues around intimacy
33:08but her erotic story could offer more insight
33:12okay
33:16my ideal fantasy would be a person coming into my life unexpected
33:26a genuine honest supportive and kind male
33:34with no expectation of me
33:36who has a genuine big heart
33:38a love for the world
33:40to treat others how we wish to be treated
33:42and to be happy and have the opportunities to grow together
33:45yay
33:48you were fantastic
33:50really amazing right Celeste?
33:52that was phenomenal
33:54that was phenomenal
33:56gather your stuff
33:57thank you so much
33:58thank you
33:59thank you
34:00thank you
34:01thank you
34:02I really like jokes
34:03when I'm awkward I'm trying to make jokes
34:05my story wasn't very sexual
34:08it's how I deal with awkward situations
34:10and things that I don't really know what to do
34:12just a defence mechanism for me
34:14everyone seemed to laugh at it unlikely
34:16so it went better than I thought
34:18I felt really good actually
34:20the story I was telling
34:22and showed a lot about myself
34:24and you know I can see what experiences I want to have now
34:28it was actually a little bit of a confidence boost
34:31pushing myself
34:32and having the courage to go up there and do that sort of thing
34:36it made me feel a lot better afterwards
34:39a lot of people say to me
34:43oh you look young
34:44I think I'm like 18, 19, 20
34:46but then I always say
34:47oh it's because I never had a boyfriend
34:49so I haven't been stressed out
34:51you've never had a boyfriend?
34:52no
34:53no
34:54after a successful workshop
34:56the dynamics between the girls and boys seem to be shifting
35:01you definitely seem like one of the most confident out of all of us I'd say
35:05thank you
35:06I've worked very hard to be this confident
35:10I uh...
35:11I think you're really pretty
35:13thank you
35:16it's um...
35:17I don't want to be in the sun for too long
35:18okay
35:19it was nice having that chat with you
35:20do you think Ben likes me?
35:24I've not noticed it would be enough of you or anyone else
35:27no it's just
35:28I think he likes me
35:29likes me
35:30oh like that way
35:31oh okay
35:32I don't know
35:34while sparks fly between Ben and Charlotte
35:39not everyone is finding island life quite so easy
35:45I think Jason needs a lot of like basic
35:48this is how you do this
35:49this is how you do this
35:50it's just it's going to take time for him to feel the empowerment
35:53around touching other people I think
35:56weirdly enough
35:57my sex education
35:59because I'd move to school
36:00I'd miss the sex ed week
36:01so basically safe parks
36:03my sex education
36:05I've never touched a condom
36:06the only thing I could know about a woman's and that I mean stuff
36:09would be on from TV
36:10and the internet
36:11that kind of thing
36:13if it was a game
36:14I'm level one
36:15that's interesting
36:16I'd love to be able to level up in a way
36:19sound like a virgin
36:20explaining that
36:21oh god
36:22come on in
36:23so the experts have planned a session on the basics of touch with Celeste
36:29I've never really been able to be a touchy-feely person
36:31yeah
36:32my family's like that though
36:33like my mum
36:34she's never been a touchy huggy person
36:35but I know she loves me
36:36I love her
36:37but we can't do hugs
36:38it's just not in our nature
36:39I want to try
36:41putting my hand on top of your hand and see how that feels
36:44more
36:45more intimate
36:46exactly
36:47so I could scooch to you
36:49after this morning's workshop
36:51Celeste wants to learn more about the real Jason behind the humour
36:54let's take some steps
36:55let's take some steps
36:56you know
36:57yeah
36:58and we can see like
36:59do you like putting your hand on mine
37:00do you like me putting my hand on yours for example
37:02so you want to start with like just putting
37:04yeah just putting it on there
37:05like that
37:06yeah
37:07is it okay?
37:08like does the sensation feel good?
37:09it's okay
37:10yeah
37:11yeah
37:12alright
37:13okay
37:14so can we try it where I put my hand on your hand
37:15okay
37:16yeah
37:17hmm
37:19okay
37:20I feel like when this is happening to me it's like
37:24a little overwhelming
37:25yeah
37:26yeah
37:27feeling uncomfortable receiving touch
37:30when I work in like offices and stuff
37:32I'm a bit worried I'm a bit too firm with handshakes
37:34mm-hmm
37:35Jason takes matters into his own hands
37:38right
37:40like that
37:41that feels good
37:43that feels good
37:44is that okay?
37:45I would even like let our palms touch a little bit more
37:48for you
37:49okay
37:50like that
37:52like do you feel like more like that kind of touch?
37:54yeah
37:55on safer territory
37:57I feel so limp
37:58you can give a little bit more pressure
37:59one more?
38:00yeah let's do one more
38:01let's do it
38:02Jason's flying
38:03like that
38:04that was beautiful
38:05success
38:06I was shitting myself because I had no idea what I was in for
38:10like
38:11alright
38:12but I think it's just getting more intimate
38:13with touch
38:14I want to be improved
38:16I want to be cured
38:17I don't think this has been inside
38:31I don't know if it's been inside anyone
38:33to encourage the group to broaden their sexual horizons
38:36couple more back plugs
38:37I could be like Wolverine
38:38just like
38:39the experts have handed over a box of sex toys
38:43oh these are fun
38:45if I took your butt and you fart enough poo out
38:48could you actually like blow it out?
38:51and left them to explore
38:53who wants to be tied up?
38:54go on then
38:55you know you'd be in a bed and this would be tied to like a thingy
38:58yeah
38:59it would just help reinforce for me
39:00when I have sex
39:01when I have sex
39:02it's gonna be vanilla
39:03just vanilla sex for me
39:04I'm gonna leave you like that now
39:06Charlotte
39:07who wants the feather?
39:13yeah
39:14how does it feel?
39:16this makes me feel like being struck by chicken
39:18chicken?
39:19I want to lose my virginity on the retreat
39:23absolutely
39:24all of the shame and the self criticisms that come being a virgin
39:30my hope would be that afterwards that would be gone
39:33because you're not anymore
39:34you don't have to put this label on yourself anymore
39:41hello
39:42hello
39:43so far Zach is adapting quickly to the course
39:45comfortable with hugs?
39:46absolutely yeah
39:48Zach is starting to stand taller
39:51he's more confident
39:53please have a seat
39:55and after our last session
39:57I think he's ready for most advanced therapy
40:00working with a surrogate partner
40:03a highly trained therapist able to have sex with a client
40:07today I'm here to give you the introduction into surrogate partner therapy
40:12what my role is
40:14what Kat's role is
40:15and you know a little bit about how this process works
40:19surrogate partner therapy has been around for years
40:22around for quite a while
40:24and it involved a therapist
40:26a client and a surrogate partner
40:28it starts pretty slow with clothes on embodiment exercises
40:32just while we're kind of like getting used to each other
40:34and I can learn what you like and vice versa
40:36the surrogate is helping them explore what it feels like to take your clothes off with someone
40:42what it feels like to touch someone in an erotic way
40:46and can go all the way to a full sexual experience
40:51as you're comfortable with
40:53we'll move to more organic encounters
40:55kissing, oral intercourse
40:57it will eventually feel like just practicing different sexual skills
41:01that's the gist
41:03yeah
41:04cool
41:05got it
41:06this is a container for you to practice a relationship
41:09and so I am a licensed mental health clinician
41:13you will be working with me with regards to like any emotions that come up
41:17and that's like my side of the street
41:19got it
41:20I'm gonna let the two of you have the remainder of the session
41:22alright
41:23I will see you guys soon
41:24take care
41:25bye
41:26is there anything you want to talk about before we move to some body work?
41:33I don't think so no
41:34okay
41:35I'm gonna have you lie down
41:36mm-hmm
41:38so I'm gonna touch you first
41:40and I'm only gonna touch your arm
41:42and I'm gonna use my hands, my arms, my face and my hair if that's okay
41:47yeah
41:52I think it's really important to teach people how to have sex
41:58teaching like really basic relationship skills
42:01when clothes come off things get more erotic
42:05helping people be human again
42:08it makes me want to do my job
42:13while sex is the ultimate aim
42:15Zach must build a connection with Kat before getting to that level
42:22how was that?
42:29it was good, I was tingly
42:31in a good way
42:32yeah
42:33are you ready to switch?
42:35mm-hmm
42:36yep
42:37let's go
42:38a surrogate partner bond
42:48and really make sure you're feeling what feels good
42:51takes time to nurture
42:56like any relationship
42:57like any relationship
43:05okay, we're done
43:06you're done?
43:07yeah, yeah
43:11what came up just then that made you feel like stopping?
43:16I think, you know, touching your arm is great
43:18it feels amazing
43:19it's just obviously I want more
43:21oh, okay
43:22but it's a process
43:23you know, like that
43:24I wouldn't do more than that
43:25on a first session
43:26with anybody
43:27yeah
43:28the speed of the surrogate program
43:29doesn't seem to be moving fast enough for Zach
43:32so how far are you wanting to go with surrogate partner therapy?
43:35I would like to go all the way
43:37I would love to have sex with you
43:38you know, that's why I came here really
43:40yeah
43:41it's hard to connect with someone you just met
43:43telling you
43:44hey, I'm your surrogate
43:45you will be eventually
43:47maybe if you want
43:48having sex with me
43:49okay, so let's stand up
43:52let's just shake it off
43:55but I do think I'll be able to lose my virginity
43:57you know, have sex with Kat
43:59eventually
44:01I would like to
44:08how was it?
44:09yeah, so we were doing arm touching
44:10like, it was intense
44:11like, I didn't realize like
44:12I would have that strong of a reaction
44:13to be honest
44:15you know, maybe I'll lose my virginity very soon
44:17but yeah, very positive experience I think
44:25ready guys?
44:26oh, we're down here with the big fire
44:28after two days at the retreat
44:30the first phase of the course is drawing to a close
44:34shame bonfire is a culmination of everything that we've done in the first phase
44:40it's a chance for them to get rid of their shame items from yesterday and move on
44:50we're going to call you up one at a time
44:52to let these old stories about yourself
44:54and these old ways of being and thinking go
44:57and I am so delighted for you
45:00okay
45:03are you ready to let it go?
45:04yes
45:05let it go
45:06let it go
45:07let it go
45:08let it go
45:09let it go
45:13let it go
45:14the act of burning something
45:15is the act of letting go
45:17and saying
45:18I can change now
45:19ready?
45:20let it go
45:21let it go
45:22let it go
45:23it felt really good to be able to
45:24release all my feelings into the fire
45:26I feel a lot more confident
45:28it's like a whole refresh of emotions
45:31let it go
45:33let it go
45:34let it go
45:35let it go
45:36I was stuck in a rut
45:38I was stuck in a way of thinking
45:40and I think this is my opportunity now to really change that
45:44I'm keen to fill in more of the gaps
45:48woohoo
45:49let it go
45:50next time
45:52you're quite attractive so I mean, you know
45:56things heat up on the touch phase of the course
46:01there's another animal here with you on this rug
46:05oh
46:07it was like watching a porno
46:09as emotions bubble over
46:11I just don't want anyone to touch me
46:13I just have one minute
46:18when things turn physical
46:20I can't touch your breath
46:22you can
46:26oh yeah
46:28music
46:31music
46:32music
46:33music
46:35music
46:38music
46:40music
46:41music
46:45music
46:47music
46:48Transcription by CastingWords