Shot live at San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino in Highland, CA, Jeff Garcia's Low Budget Madness is packed with hilarious sketches that will leave you in stitches and remind you why audiences all over the world can't get a enough of Jeff Garcia!
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
#comedy #standupcomedy #standup
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, live from San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino in Highland, California,
00:16it's Jeff Garcia's low-budget madness.
00:20Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the star of the show, Jeff Garcia!
00:30All right, we're going to try that one more time.
00:33Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jeff Garcia!
00:40All right, do you know where Jeff is?
00:42I think you went out. I'm going to call the cell right now.
00:44Yeah, call the cell phone.
00:46So I get out of the car, right? He's like, why are we speeding?
00:48Because I felt like it. Slap that fucking pig right in his jaw, dog.
00:52Right in his jaw. He's like, oh, Mr. Garcia, why are you going to slap me? I'm officer of the law.
00:56And I'm like, because I felt like it, bitch.
00:58And then there's dog in the back, see, and you don't know.
01:01That's right, I'll get to slap your ass, too, stupid-ass canine.
01:04I'm not afraid of no German shepherd.
01:06You know, a doleman pincher, you know, you're more afraid of, but a German shepherd.
01:09Hold on one second.
01:10Hello?
01:12Yeah, I'm with the nickel, man. Come down.
01:15Right now?
01:16All right, I'm leaning right now. I'm leaning right now.
01:18Okay, I'm out, bitch. All right, bye.
01:20I got to go tap. Cool? Is that all right?
01:26Oh, fuck.
01:28Oh, shit.
01:36Tupac!
01:58Tupac!
02:06Tupac!
03:40Welcome to the Low Budget Madness Show.
03:42It's Low Budget and it's Madness.
03:45Everybody all right?
03:46Everybody all coupled up.
03:47Check them out.
03:47Everybody's all coupled up with their lady and shit.
03:51Take her out somewhere nice, huh?
03:52Fucking take you somewhere nice and look at the way you act, bitch.
03:58Shut up.
03:59You don't even tell me you love me.
04:01I fucking said it like three days ago and shit.
04:03But I forget, fuck.
04:05I can't help it if you fucking have problems with your brains and shit.
04:10Do you love me?
04:11Yeah.
04:13Do you really love me?
04:14Fuck.
04:14I said, yeah, fuck.
04:17Huh?
04:18How do I know you love me?
04:19Because I'm still here.
04:24How do I know if you don't love me?
04:26If you see a U-Haul in front of this bitch, I don't love you no more.
04:30I'm still here.
04:31We had kids.
04:32Fuck.
04:32I got married, dude.
04:36Fuck, man.
04:37They pressure you, huh, women?
04:38Fucking pressure.
04:39Let's get married.
04:40Let's get fucked.
04:41We just had a kid.
04:41Slow down.
04:42Fuck.
04:44You want something all permanent?
04:50Wait a few years or I have a ring boy.
04:57Anybody else married?
04:58Clap your Mary.
05:02Boo, that's fucked up.
05:08You know what?
05:09The people aren't booing is when they have that lady next to them.
05:10Boo, I love you, baby.
05:14I love sex with my wife.
05:16I didn't at first.
05:18No, because the first time we did it, she said something.
05:20She's like, uh, uh, deeper.
05:22What the fuck, deeper?
05:26That's not cool.
05:27Like, I can smack my ass and two more inches are going to come out.
05:32Like, I had to roll away hoes or something.
05:37Like, I'm pulling more out.
05:38Hold on.
05:39I got it.
05:43You don't hear me complain.
05:45Ah, tighter.
05:49Oh.
05:51That's funny.
05:52I can just see women in the TV changing the channel right now going.
06:02Fuck you.
06:05You go away.
06:08I like being married.
06:09Yeah, fucking right.
06:10That's why I'm saying that, because she's here.
06:12Come on.
06:12You can't talk shit when your wife's there, huh?
06:15Fuck it.
06:15Hey, look at that girl's ass.
06:16I never look at that no more.
06:18Hell no.
06:19I love my baby dog.
06:21Forever, forever to death.
06:24She is my world, my cube, my oyster.
06:30Don't you hate this shit?
06:31Am I fat?
06:32No.
06:35You're keeping up with me.
06:36If I wasn't here, you'd be all thin and shit.
06:41Be dating Brad Pitt.
06:43Fuck.
06:44I'd be by myself, trying to make a bologna sandwich with no bread.
06:50Because we'll do shit like that, huh?
06:52Women are fucking, women are fucking.
06:54You know what?
06:54My wife will ask you these questions.
06:56She's like, like, what if my fucking face melted off in acid?
07:02Would you still love me?
07:05Yes.
07:06It'll go on for fucking ever, dude.
07:08What if my fucking tits melted off, my face melted off in acid?
07:12Would you still love me?
07:15Yes.
07:17She won't stop.
07:17What if my pussy melted shit and my face melted off and my tits melted off?
07:22Would you still love me?
07:24No.
07:31But we can still be friends.
07:32I'll wheel you around and shit.
07:37I love you.
07:37Give me a hug.
07:38Give me a hug.
07:39You can't feel me?
07:40I can't feel you either.
07:40I'm like...
07:41And everybody that's married has that one thing, right?
07:45That one thing that pisses you off that she does.
07:47You know what my wife does?
07:48That fucking pisses me the fuck off, dude.
07:51Pisses me the fuck off.
07:52She'll ask me questions during movies.
07:54Does anybody else's fucking wife do that shit?
07:59Fuck, that pisses me off.
08:01Why is he going in there?
08:04How come he doesn't go back to the boat?
08:05Why is she all mad?
08:08Fuck, did you see my name in the credits?
08:13I'm watching the same shit you are.
08:17Fuck, now I missed it.
08:20You owe me $8.
08:25And my wife can be insecure at times.
08:28Pretty much 90% of the time, she's secure.
08:31But my job is kind of hard to think that I'm not fucking up.
08:33So, like, you know what she does?
08:35She goes in the bank statements.
08:36That freaks me the fuck out, dude.
08:38She'll go on the bank statements and say shit like, you know,
08:40why were you at Red Lobster at 3.44 in the afternoon?
08:45How'd you fucking know that?
08:46Don't worry about it.
08:49Fucking feel like there's satellites.
08:51Like that movie Enemy of the State.
08:52She's fucking watching me at all times and shit.
08:54Why are you smoking a cigarette?
08:57Outside at 7-Eleven on 34th Street.
08:59I'm not, bitch.
09:05But you know why I don't fucking cheat?
09:07You know why the number one reason why I don't cheat?
09:09Is that fucking TV show Cheaters.
09:13Because that shit fucks up relationships.
09:15Fuck that hater Joey.
09:18Remember the episode when he got stabbed?
09:20I was laughing my ass off and shit.
09:23My wife felt bad.
09:24Oh, he got stabbed.
09:25Fuck that puto.
09:26So don't get in anybody's business and shit.
09:28And they didn't even stop the camera.
09:30He's all bleeding.
09:31No.
09:33I've been stabbed.
09:34And they're like, keep rolling.
09:35Keep going.
09:36Go.
09:37Zoom in on the blood.
09:38Can you help me?
09:39Remember he was in a boat.
09:40He was in the middle of nowhere.
09:42Help.
09:44Fucker, this is Gilligan's Island.
09:45You're fucked.
09:47Help me.
09:48No.
09:50That's why I'm scared of her.
09:52I'm cheating on her.
09:53You know what scares me more than her catching me cheating?
09:56It's her catching me masturbating.
09:59Because you can't look cool jacking off.
10:01I mean, it's not.
10:03You know what I'm saying?
10:03You try to.
10:04You're in the mirror in the bathroom.
10:05You're like, yeah, what's up?
10:08But you can't look cool.
10:09You're like.
10:16You cannot.
10:17And after you're done, you feel bad.
10:19Oh, why did I do this?
10:20Why?
10:22I'm disgusting.
10:23I fucking suck.
10:25There should be a show like that, huh?
10:31Getting caught.
10:32You know what?
10:32Fuck you.
10:33I went out and made one.
10:36Hi, I'm Joey Mecco.
10:38Welcome to another exciting episode of Beaters.
10:41Today we're talking with Michelle Crawford, a 26-year-old waitress who suspects her boyfriend
10:45and Ian of spending a little too much time with someone he cares about.
10:51Oh, when I first met Ian, it was love at first sight.
10:56I mean, we spent 24 hours a day together.
10:58It was amazing.
11:00We would go out to dinner.
11:02We would never make it to dessert.
11:04We'd just say, we're going to take dessert home.
11:06And we would have sex for hours.
11:09Like, hours.
11:13Lately, he's just been really distant.
11:17Like, he doesn't hang out with his friends anymore.
11:20He won't even come around me anymore.
11:22He just wants to be by himself with his bottles of lotion.
11:25He shook my brother's hand the other day and almost broke it.
11:28Like, he's become this weird concoction of a man that's just full of testosterone and angry fingers.
11:38I just don't know what I'll do if he's beating.
11:41You know, if he's beating, I don't know what I'll do.
11:46If you suspect your partner of beating, give us a call at 1-800-NO-WACK.
11:51That's 1-800-NO-WACK.
11:53Or go to our website, www.nowacking.com.
11:57Meet Ian, a 28-year-old waiter who's suspected of spending a little too much time with Pamela Henderson.
12:05Investigation Day 3
12:06While on break at his job as a chef at a local eatery, the suspect smokes a cigarette outside.
12:12After seeing a young lady walk by, seemingly aroused,
12:15he steps into the restaurant to obtain an unidentified substance.
12:20He slides into the backseat of his car, where he remains for 15 minutes.
12:25Investigation Day 6
12:26Instead of hanging out with his girlfriend, the suspect is followed to a local park.
12:32He observes a female jogger prance by his vicinity.
12:36He decides to have a little quality time right there in plain sight behind the tree.
12:43Investigation Day 9
12:44After seeing his unsuspecting girlfriend off to work, our hidden camera observed the suspect,
12:49reaching under the sofa cushion for a pornographic movie, now identified as Monster Bitches Vol. 6.
12:55He decides the coast is clear, and is now going to spend the afternoon with one of his hoes.
13:00Okay, Michelle, I know we pulled you out of work, and I'm really sorry.
13:05That's cool.
13:05But you wanted me to find out what's going on with your boyfriend, Ian.
13:10Yeah.
13:11I know you have a lot of questions, and I hope I can answer some of those questions right now.
13:15Our investigators picked up the investigation on Day 3.
13:19There he is, outside of his work, taking a break, a smoke break.
13:22Okay, there's a young lady that walks by.
13:26Oh, that's Tiffany.
13:28She works there.
13:29Sorry.
13:30Oh, okay.
13:30Not even a minute after, he walks in, grabs some sort of substance.
13:35Whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:36Is that mayonnaise?
13:38Yes, it is mayonnaise.
13:40Is that low-fat?
13:41I'm not sure.
13:42I didn't check that, but it's mayonnaise, definitely.
13:45Disappears into his car, where he's not seen, for about 15 minutes.
13:48It's 15 minutes.
13:53I'm sorry.
13:53It's fine.
13:55Our investigators asked you to put a hidden camera in your apartment.
14:00On Day 9, here you are leaving to work.
14:03That's you.
14:04A minute goes by, he reaches in the couch, the cushions, and pulls out a pornographic movie,
14:11puts it in, and as you can see, starts to have happy time with himself.
14:16I knew it.
14:17No, I knew it.
14:20I'm sorry.
14:21We know where he is right now.
14:24You do?
14:24And he's having happy time right now with himself.
14:27Would you like to confront him?
14:29Yeah, I would.
14:31Okay, let's go.
14:32It's this way.
14:36Coming up, the confrontation.
14:40Okay, so he's in the bathroom right now.
14:43In the bathroom?
14:44Where's your bathroom at?
14:45Inside the house.
14:46Is it like two turns or?
14:47Yeah, two turns around the corner.
14:49Okay, Joey, out.
14:51Okay, you ready?
14:51Yeah.
14:52Let's go.
14:52What the?
14:59What the?
15:00What are you doing?
15:00Ian, oh my god, Ian.
15:08What is this?
15:24What are you doing?
15:25I'm Joey Mechel.
15:27This is Beaters.
15:28You can clap, mister.
15:30She's at work all day trying to make money for your household, and you don't even have sex
15:33there, and here you are having happy time, guy?
15:36This is not the first time, Ian.
15:40Oh, Lonnie.
15:40We have you on tape in the park.
15:42We have you several places.
15:44Mayonnaise.
15:45Really, Ian?
15:46Mayonnaise?
15:47I don't need this.
15:47That was supposed to be for our tuna sandwiches.
15:50Oh, I'm a coward.
15:50Ian, don't you dare leave me.
15:52I'm out of here.
15:52Give me that lotion.
15:53It's mine.
15:53No, that lotion is mine, Ian.
15:55Give me that lotion.
15:57You're such an asshole.
15:58Guys, come here.
15:59You leave me alone.
16:00We're done.
16:01We're through.
16:02You better run, motherfucker.
16:06You better run.
16:08Go ahead.
16:09I hope she gives you all the intensive care you can handle.
16:12I hope she gives it to you good.
16:14It's good.
16:15It's okay.
16:15It's okay.
16:15It's okay.
16:16It's okay.
16:16It's okay.
16:17It's okay.
16:18It's okay.
16:21Look, look.
16:21Now you know, though.
16:23Yeah.
16:23You came to us for answers, and now we're giving you the answers.
16:25Yeah.
16:26All right.
16:28I know.
16:29You know, it's...
16:30I had to find out.
16:31I'm not sad.
16:33I'm just angry.
16:34Well, just try and calm down.
16:36Listen, I'm having a little viewing party, so to speak, at my house later.
16:41At your house?
16:42At Joey Meckless' house, yes.
16:43I want you to show up, maybe.
16:45You know, we could talk.
16:46Me?
16:47Yeah, you.
16:48What do you think?
16:48Me?
16:49Yeah, let's go.
16:50But you're inviting me to here?
16:51Yes, just me and you.
16:52Let's go.
16:52That's so cool.
16:55That's so cool.
16:56You like cakey stuff?
17:00Yeah.
17:01Okay.
17:01You got that?
17:01You mean like condoms?
17:02Um, no.
17:04Yeah.
17:07Look at the married dudes.
17:08You're fucking scared now.
17:09Really?
17:09They can catch you that easy?
17:12Nobody is going to masturbate that easy next time.
17:16Nobody is.
17:18Everybody's going to be like, what's up?
17:22Mirrors.
17:24Mirrors everywhere.
17:25That would be embarrassing, huh?
17:28Fucking sitting there with lotion.
17:31And your seventh grade yearbook, all the bitches you didn't get to fuck.
17:39Scary shit.
17:40You know what they do?
17:41They make things for like guys like me.
17:42They make places that you can go now.
17:45They make places you can go where you can be married and like cheat.
17:48Kind of, but not really.
17:50Strip clubs.
17:51I can't go to strip clubs.
17:52Fuck that.
17:53I don't go to strip clubs no more.
17:54I went to one and the chicks were fat.
17:56And that's just not right.
17:57No.
17:59There's some jobs you shouldn't have if you're fat.
18:04Cheerleaders, stripper, no.
18:07Cheerleader.
18:08Come on.
18:08You never hear a girl say, give me an O.
18:10She just stands there.
18:14I went to a strip club one time.
18:15These chicks were fat, dude.
18:17Fat.
18:18It was like, that's right.
18:18Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the strip club.
18:20Give it up for Orca.
18:23She came out.
18:30She had a hi-heels on like that.
18:31At the end of the night, they were like that and shit.
18:35The fucking pole was bent.
18:38She's like, you want a lap dance?
18:41Fuck, no, I don't.
18:44Give me a tip.
18:45Here's some speed.
18:46Fucking tweak for a while, bitch.
18:50I can't do this strip club thing.
18:51Leave horny and broke.
18:53Fuck that.
18:53They have Hooters now.
18:54Hooters is good.
18:57Hooters is all right.
18:59But some of those chicks are kind of chunky too.
19:01That happens.
19:02No, I like Hooters.
19:03The wings are fucking awesome.
19:05That's why I go there.
19:05Not to look at the boobs.
19:06How dumb.
19:09That's stupid.
19:09I feel bad for ladies because you don't have a fucking Hooters.
19:14They need a women Hooters.
19:19You know what I'm saying?
19:20Where you can go and like, I don't know.
19:23You know, I found one on the internet.
19:24From the makers of Hooters comes Cox, America's premier rooster dog restaurant.
19:31Welcome to Cox.
19:32I'm Peter.
19:33I'm Woody.
19:33I'm Rod.
19:34And I'm Johnson.
19:35And we're at your service.
19:37Cocks are made from 100% rooster.
19:42So they're lean and good for you too.
19:44Right now you can get a big cock, order a cheese balls and large beverage for only $4.99.
19:49And our staff is not only speedy, but courteous as well.
19:53See for yourself.
19:54Hi.
19:55Welcome to Cox.
19:56May I take your order?
19:58Oh, sure.
19:59I'll take a big cock.
20:00And Grandma will take a big cock as well.
20:02I want a little cock.
20:03Oh, and a little cock for her.
20:05I think I'll have two cocks.
20:07Grandma, have you ever had two cocks at once before?
20:11Oh, many times.
20:13Grandma loves cocks.
20:16And if you like it spicy, try our new pepper black cock, order a cheese balls and large beverage
20:20for only $3.99.
20:23That's some good black cock right there.
20:26Cox is great.
20:27And remember, come for the cocks.
20:30Stay for the balls.
20:32Yeah, that ought to work, huh?
20:41I think the ladies would go there if you're really fucking hard up.
20:46But women don't have to be fucking hard up.
20:48They can go to Denny's and go, fuck, somebody fuck me.
20:52And they'll walk out with a pretty good looking dude.
20:55Guys walk into Denny's, somebody fuck me.
20:57I didn't mean it.
20:58I didn't mean it.
21:02There should be a law, huh?
21:04There should be a law where if you take a girl out like 15 times and she doesn't fuck you,
21:08she doesn't give you all the money back.
21:09No, that's some fair shit.
21:14Look at the women.
21:15No.
21:18Yes.
21:19It's not fair.
21:20Fuck that.
21:22Just fucking take a woman out forever and then you don't get no shit.
21:25You know what?
21:25I'm going to run for a fucking governor.
21:28And I'll fucking win too.
21:31I'm serious.
21:31There's a lot of Mexicans sneaking over as we speak right now.
21:34There's like four million Mexicans right now.
21:37Count to three.
21:38Four million.
21:40It fucking, yeah, the governor of California.
21:44If he can win, I can fucking win.
21:46Fuck that shit.
21:48I'm going to have fucking cool laws too.
21:50Really cool laws.
21:51Like fucking, dude, I'm going to have a drunk lane on the freeway.
21:55Yeah.
21:55When you're fucking all drunk, you go in my lane and you get home.
22:04Hell yeah.
22:04We're fucking foaming the sides.
22:11I'm not legalizing weed.
22:13Fuck that.
22:13I'm not legalizing weed.
22:15I'm not doing it.
22:16Fuck that.
22:17Now I got to pay 28 bucks for a gram instead of 20 because of taxes.
22:20Fuck that shit.
22:23Now I can't buy weed after two.
22:26Immigration.
22:31What's that?
22:31Immigration.
22:32No more paperwork.
22:33Fuck that.
22:34At the border, we're going to play one big game of Red Rover.
22:39Remember that game?
22:40Red Rover, Red Rover, San Pepe ride over.
22:45And if you break through, you can stay.
22:51That's how I'm going to work it.
22:52Immigration.
22:53Like they're going to solve it, huh?
22:54We're going to put a wall up.
22:55Like Mexicans are going to come from the bottom of Mexico and run up and go, oh, it's a wall.
22:59We can go.
23:01Let's go back.
23:02Fuck that.
23:02We'll figure something else out and shit.
23:04Little white people, really?
23:07A wall won't stop them?
23:09Fuck no.
23:11They'll fucking have parachutes and fucking springboards.
23:15We'll come out like gophers.
23:21You can't stop immigration.
23:23I'm sorry.
23:23The only way you can stop immigration is to completely separate Mexico from America.
23:27And then you'll just have wet Mexicans when they come over.
23:33And Guatemalans and Cubans.
23:36Are you Cuban?
23:38That's not fair.
23:38You guys cheat.
23:40No, because America says if you make it, you can stay.
23:42Like, that's fucked up.
23:45No.
23:47You're on a raft and you make it.
23:49I'm here.
23:49Fucking we could be here 15 years.
23:51Mexicans have been here 15 fucking years.
23:52I'm here.
23:53Oh, shit.
23:54I've been here for 15 years.
23:56I got to go back.
23:57Why?
23:58I got hardcore cousins that are, like, hardcore.
24:04Like, I have a cousin.
24:05No fucking lie.
24:06He made it from Mexico here.
24:08And, okay, white people, you're looking at me like I'm crazy.
24:11All right?
24:12You don't understand how hard it is to get here from Mexico to here.
24:16It's not like you think.
24:17Like, I'm here?
24:17No, fucking.
24:18That's a trip, dude.
24:19You got to take fucking bottles of water and shit.
24:22You might dehydrate and fuck yourself up.
24:25He made it all the way here, right?
24:27Like, no fucking lie.
24:28Dude, this is how hardcore it is.
24:30My mom shows up.
24:31My mom's all, Mio, you got to take him to the club.
24:34I'm all, okay, we got to take him to the club.
24:36All right.
24:38I'm like, and my Spanish is fucked up because my dad's Indian.
24:41He's American Indian.
24:42So we don't speak Spanish, right?
24:43So I told my fucking dad.
24:45I told my cousin, I'm like, okay, we're going to un club.
24:51Un club.
24:52Bailando.
24:54Go get listo.
24:57The fucker comes back with his snake skin boots.
25:03Snake skin belt and a snake skin hat.
25:05First of all, how big was that fucking snake?
25:12I'm like, no, fucker.
25:13We're going to fucking.
25:14Yeah, yeah.
25:14He not.
25:15Aye, aye.
25:17Go change, fucker.
25:18So we had to give him like a non-wet back makeover, right?
25:21He had those curly tejano hair.
25:24We had to shave that shit off.
25:26And, you know, we had to give him like different clothes.
25:29He threw fubu on him.
25:32He's the only one that pronounced it right the first time.
25:34Fubu.
25:34So he went to the fucking nightclub, right?
25:40And I fucking, my mom's all, don't let him get away.
25:43Because if they catch him, they're going to send him back.
25:45I'm like, okay, mom.
25:46I got it.
25:47So we're hanging out at the club, right?
25:48And I go, I'm going to go get un tomar, tomar, drink.
25:52Stay aquí.
25:54No allí, aquí.
25:55So I went to get a drink and the fucker was gone.
26:01I was fucking scared shitless.
26:02I thought they would have grabbed him, right?
26:03So I'm looking all over the club for him and he's talking to this white girl.
26:07White girl.
26:08Like, not like, you know, one of them, oh my God.
26:10That kind of white girls.
26:12Like, whatever.
26:13That kind of fucking white girl.
26:14I'm like, what the fuck are they talking about?
26:15Because he doesn't speak any fucking English.
26:18Dude, one time he called my Camaro a Camaro.
26:23Fucking hardcore, right?
26:25So I sneak closer and on the speakers, that song, a too short song called The Ghetto was
26:32on.
26:32You know, The Ghetto, doom, doom, doom, that song.
26:35He goes, I dedicated this song to you.
26:41I'm like, hey, what do you mean dedicated?
26:44Si, si, te quiero.
26:49He thought they were saying te quiero, which means I want you.
26:53And fucking, it's like, oh my God, he wants to take me to the ghetto.
26:56Oh, fuck.
26:58There should be an easier way.
27:00There should be a fucking reality show where you can marry, like, somebody from here.
27:03And if you win, you get papers.
27:07There isn't.
27:08But I fucking made one.
27:09So here it is.
27:10Check it out.
27:11What happens when a rich white girl from the suburbs meets an illegal from Mexico?
27:16Can they find love?
27:18You're watching Who Wants to Marry a Hardcore?
27:20When I first met Paco, it was Friday the 13th.
27:28And I was like, boo.
27:30But then I was like, lucky day.
27:32Because I met him.
27:35And he's really dark, you know.
27:37And at first I was like, are you, like, Japanese?
27:41But then I realized he's Mexican.
27:44And that's cool because, you know, I've never been to Africa.
27:48So I thought nobody was parents.
27:50Paco is the best thing that's ever happened to our family.
27:53I love him.
27:54He's a compatriot for me as well as making my sister happy.
27:58I mean, the guy can drink.
28:01Okay, I took him drinking with some of my frat buddies.
28:04Drank Big Johnny under the table.
28:06Nobody does that.
28:08We made him an honorary frat brother.
28:11Well, a frat hermano.
28:13That's what we call him.
28:13He taught me that word.
28:15So, Jorge.
28:15Wait, wait, hold on, dude.
28:16Am I going to be on TV?
28:18Most likely, yeah.
28:19Dude, crazy, man.
28:21Jorge, so anyway.
28:22Hey, dude.
28:23George.
28:23Come on, dude.
28:25George.
28:26So, you've known Paco for pretty much your whole life.
28:30Not really, dude.
28:31No.
28:32Like, we went to a wedding down in Mexico one time.
28:34And I seen him.
28:34I'm like, hey, what's up, bro?
28:36How you doing?
28:36And he's like, you know, Kay.
28:38So, I can say Kay.
28:39I'm like, what's up, okay?
28:40I'm like, Kay.
28:41You don't know Kay like in something else.
28:43I didn't really get it.
28:43I'm like, Kay.
28:44He's like, Kay.
28:45How do you feel about your daughter dating Paco?
28:51Well, my daughter's kind of the kind of girl that wants to give everybody a chance.
28:56I mean, she used to date Reggie, the Nigerian kid.
28:59And that was fun.
29:02Man, me and Stephanie had some real good times, man.
29:04We went to Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, Magic Mountain, Sea World.
29:11I don't like to go to Queen Mary because I don't like ships.
29:14But we went everywhere.
29:16You know, one time I even paid for the movies.
29:18One time, you know?
29:19One time?
29:19Yeah, it was my birthday.
29:20My mama gave me some money.
29:22I mean, I had a little change in my pocket.
29:24You know, I figured I'd take her out.
29:25You know, we go back to the house.
29:27You know, do the, you know what I mean, man.
29:31What do you think about Paco?
29:32Who's your boyfriend?
29:34Paco.
29:35What kind of name is that?
29:37Paco.
29:37How do you go from Reggie to Paco?
29:39I'm insulted.
29:40How do you go from black to wetback?
29:42I got that.
29:43Why not?
29:46Any of them here?
29:47Reggie, you can't say that.
29:49This is for network television.
29:50What network?
29:51It's a major network, okay?
29:53Oh, it is?
29:53Yeah.
29:54All right.
29:54Well, you know what rhymes with jetpack?
29:56What?
29:56Wetback.
29:58No, I'm just a little better, man.
29:59You'd be mad, too.
30:02No.
30:02You know what I'm saying, white fella.
30:05I do.
30:05Why don't we just move on?
30:06All right.
30:07Okay?
30:08How does it make you feel now?
30:09How does it make you feel that you're no longer with Stephanie?
30:11She's moved on.
30:13You okay, Reggie?
30:25It made me feel kind of sad, man.
30:32I haven't been out nowhere in a while.
30:38I miss it, you know.
30:40I used to like macaroni and cheese.
30:43I started getting used to it.
30:47Man, this interview's over, man.
30:51So, Paco, tell me about what you're talking about.
30:54Okay?
30:54Oh, when I first met Stephanie, I said, wow.
31:02Because she's very pretty.
31:04And she had the...
31:06How do you call him?
31:07How you call his chichi?
31:08He's the boobs.
31:11Okay.
31:12He's the yug's.
31:12Yug's.
31:13Yug's.
31:14Dude, Paco has taught me a lot. Namely, fighting chickens.
31:20Really?
31:21I never knew there was another use for chickens out of the package, you know what I mean?
31:26But apparently, I don't know if you know this, but chickens can be forced into combat.
31:32It's called cockfighting.
31:33And they ramble around and the Mexicans get around, they're like going crazy.
31:37We made $500 in one night, paid for the beers that we just drank.
31:41Dude, that's some crazy stuff, man.
31:43And that banda music, that is the stuff, man.
31:46I was into hip-hop, no more hip-hop, no more hip-hop for me.
31:49Straight banda, you know what I'm saying?
31:52Los Tigres del Norte, those guys are rough.
31:54They're like the N.W.A. of Mexico.
31:57Like M.W.A.
31:59When Paco first whistled at me, I was like, music to my ears.
32:04Because I've never really been able to whistle, and it's been my lifelong dream.
32:10Do you, by the way, know what uh, watcha means?
32:15I say, pssh, pssh, pssh.
32:17Pssh, wha-cha.
32:19The first time Paco hit me, I was like, ouch.
32:23Paco hit me, and I was like, ouch.
32:27But then I was like, look on the bright side of things,
32:30and I was like, hey, at least he hit me in my stomach.
32:37The first time I hit her, they say no.
32:40Cause it's illegal to hit her.
32:44And they get very mad.
32:47And they say, it's illegal.
32:49You get,
32:53but then he said, sorry.
32:58I say sorry, but her dad is mad.
33:02And they might get married.
33:03How do you feel about it being on our way to Paco?
33:05Well, I'm not crazy about it, you know?
33:07I mean, I chased the kid for a while,
33:09just to, he stabbed me in the stomach.
33:12I chased him with the screwdriver.
33:14He run around, but I catch him.
33:16He old, he's got gordo.
33:18He's heavy fat.
33:22And he, I, I catch him, and kick, kick.
33:25So how did you make up with her father?
33:27Oh, I give him a present.
33:30Not for her birthday, but for the sari.
33:33He said,
33:34Les Cabeza del Vaca.
33:35It's very good in Jalisco.
33:38Cómo se llama Les Cabeza del Vaca,
33:39right here in Los Angeles?
33:40Cow's hay.
33:41Cow's hay.
33:42Right, right, I thought it was, well, I thought it was a piñata, and it wasn't.
33:55Oh, it's definitely, it's mi vida, it's mi vida.
33:58My life.
33:59My life.
34:00It's for her, it's the one, I go a lot, a lot of places, and I find her.
34:11And now I, I, I going to get green, I mean, I'm, I love her.
34:15Look, the bottom line is, I really love Paco, and it looks like we're gonna be together
34:22for a while.
34:24Oh, I gotta pee.
34:27Look at the camera for us and tell us how Stephanie makes you feel.
34:32Look at the camera and tell us how Stephanie makes you feel.
34:37Stephanie is me, me, me, me, me, how do you say that?
34:41My life.
34:42My life.
34:43How do you say that?
34:44My life.
34:45It's my life.
34:47She makes my heart go boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
35:02Okay, look, I wasn't going to have a guest for the show, it was my first show, so I wasn't
35:17going to have a guest, but this fucking fool kept bugging me, dude, emails, MySpace, showing
35:21up in my pad, the fucker showed up here in front of the building, so I guess I should
35:28just have him on so I can get rid of him.
35:31He's really fucking annoying, but he says he's the next thing, so I'm going to have him
35:35on my show, right?
35:36Might as well have him on my show, right?
35:39So, please welcome Negro Knievel.
35:47How you doing, bro?
36:01Good.
36:02When do I get paid?
36:03When do you get paid?
36:05You get paid tomorrow.
36:07We get paid tomorrow after the production's all done.
36:09Look, man, in my contract it says I get paid during or before the show.
36:13Contract?
36:14What the fuck?
36:15I don't even have a contract.
36:16What the fuck?
36:17You don't have a fucking contract.
36:18What the fuck's doing right now, bro?
36:19Well, nigga, I'm here.
36:20Shit, nigga, take a look at my contract.
36:23This is your fucking ... Are you fucking serious?
36:33That's my contract.
36:34You signed it, nigga.
36:36I didn't sign it.
36:38Oh, yeah, I did sign it.
36:38Fuck.
36:41Well, you get paid tomorrow, right?
36:43All right, if you want to be violating contracts and shit.
36:47I'll pay you after the fucking show, all right?
36:48All right, Holmes.
36:49Fuck.
36:50Okay, so what do you do?
36:51You're a ghetto stuntman, right?
36:53Yeah.
36:55Okay, what does that mean?
36:56What do you jump over with your motorcycle?
36:57Motorcycle.
36:59Yeah, motorcycle, fucker.
37:01What do you jump over with your motorcycle?
37:03Nigga, do I look like I can afford a motorcycle?
37:06Look what I'm wearing, nigga.
37:07These are tough skins, nigga.
37:10Look at my shoes.
37:11They're P-dubs.
37:13P-dubs?
37:13What the fuck are P-dubs?
37:14Pro wings, nigga.
37:18You're rocking pro wings?
37:19I do ghetto stunts.
37:20You're rocking pro wings in 2008, fucker.
37:22That's right, nigga.
37:23I'm broke.
37:24Yeah, you're a ghetto stuntman.
37:25No one do you want to get paid.
37:26That's right, nigga.
37:27Okay, so what does a ghetto stuntman do, bro?
37:30I mean, I don't get it.
37:32I do ghetto stunts.
37:33G-H-E-T-T-O.
37:34Ghetto.
37:34What's so hard about that?
37:35I'm just trying to figure it out.
37:37What the fuck is a ghetto stunt, dog?
37:39Look, shit, look, man, look.
37:40No, just tell me, bro, what the fuck?
37:42Look, man, I'm a professional, right?
37:44I brought a video clip here.
37:45You can check it out.
37:45You brought footage?
37:46Yeah, nigga.
37:47Yeah, I got footage, nigga.
37:49Shit.
37:50All right.
37:51Hey, do you give it to the producers or what?
37:52Yeah.
37:53All right, fuck it.
37:54Roll the clip.
37:55Yeah, roll that beautiful Negro footage.
38:00Okay, there you are.
38:01Yeah, that's me.
38:01Okay, you got a bottle of tequila.
38:05Yep.
38:06And you see back there?
38:07Those are Cholos.
38:08I see the Cholos.
38:09Yeah, that's their tequila.
38:11You're going to drink a bottle of tequila with Cholos?
38:12That's not a fucking ghetto stunt.
38:15Just take a look at it, man.
38:17What?
38:17That's their tequila.
38:19All right.
38:20Oh, fuck.
38:27They're kicking your ass, bro.
38:29Yeah, I know.
38:29I'm there.
38:37Okay.
38:37They're kicking your ass.
38:38What the fuck?
38:39What kind of stunt is that?
38:40That ain't the stunt.
38:43That dude's just kicking your fucking ass, bro.
38:46Yeah.
38:47They're laying into you.
38:48I know.
38:49But that ain't the stunt.
38:50That's the worst ass-supers than that, bro.
38:53Watch.
38:53Here comes the stunt.
38:54You know what?
38:56Where is the stunt?
38:58Where is the stunt?
38:59Ow!
38:59No!
39:06Why?
39:11Any questions?
39:12So that's a ghetto stunt.
39:14Yep.
39:15Okay, so what's next for Negro Knievel?
39:17Look, man, I'm just trying to fill the void, man.
39:19Fill the void?
39:20Yeah, fill the void, man.
39:21Look, we want everything that white people got.
39:23Okay.
39:24All right.
39:24They got Coors Light.
39:25We got O.D.
39:27They got that TV show Friends.
39:29We got Girlfriends.
39:30All right.
39:31They got Charlie Manson.
39:32We got O.J.
39:35Okay.
39:35They got Evo Knievel.
39:37We got Negro Knievel.
39:42What I meant was, what's next on your agenda, bro?
39:45What you going to do?
39:46I got this TV project coming up.
39:48You heard of Jackass?
39:49You going to be on Jackass, bro?
39:50No, them white boys are haters.
39:51I'm going to be on Blackass on BET.
39:53Yeah, my next stunt, I'm going to go to a KKK meeting
39:57holding hands with a white woman.
40:00With a shirt that says country music sucks.
40:03Well, I wish you the best, brother.
40:05Thank you, man.
40:06And get a good PPO, fucker.
40:07Right on, dog.
40:08Give it up for Negro Knievel.
40:09Let him hear it, please.
40:10Thank you, man.
40:19Now, that's some fucker that needs some good insurance.
40:21Some real good insurance.
40:23I have, I don't know what insurance.
40:25Does anybody have insurance?
40:26There's a bunch of Mexicans here.
40:27Who has car insurance?
40:28Clap, you have car insurance.
40:34Have you ever used it?
40:35Clap, have you ever used your car insurance?
40:38See, half the fucking, we're paying for shit we don't use.
40:42Doesn't that piss you the fuck off?
40:44Dude, that's like going to the fucking supermarket
40:46and they're like, you know what?
40:48We have a 100-pound dog food bag.
40:50I'm like, but I don't have a dog.
40:52But you could get one any time.
40:55It's fucking bullshit.
40:56Why do we pay for that?
40:58We got gecko.
40:59What's the good?
40:59Gecko, geico.
41:00Hello, I'm geico.
41:02How the fuck is he going to help you get an accident?
41:04Crawl in the keyhole?
41:05What the fuck?
41:07You know what scares me more?
41:08Is when you hit like a person,
41:09like a big black person,
41:10like a crip or a blood or like a cholo.
41:13You know, we need coverage for that.
41:15We need coverage for when you hit somebody
41:19that's really ghetto
41:20and you can't take care of yourself.
41:21Now, I looked all over the internet
41:23because I have a DSL.
41:28For now.
41:30But I found one that a little bit covers it.
41:33I don't know if it's legit.
41:34The commercial,
41:35I don't know if it really describes it or not.
41:37Check it out.
41:37See if it covers what we're talking about right here.
41:40Oh, thanks, Phil.
41:42How you doing, Terry?
41:43Not too good.
41:44Having a bunch of problems.
41:45Trying to find an insurance company.
41:47Yeah, but there's so many out there.
41:48I mean, which one do you go with?
41:49I pull my hair out.
41:50So many choices.
41:51You got Allstate.
41:52You got Farmers.
41:53I use Prudential
41:54because they do the paperwork right away.
41:55Well, the paperwork's not my concern, Phil.
41:57My real concern is
41:59what if he hit somebody you know?
42:02Oh, I know.
42:06Get out.
42:08Half black.
42:10Half black.
42:13F***ing duck in the break room, Phil.
42:15It's not Sico de Mayo.
42:16Hey, Lopez.
42:18It's probably that Beaners.
42:21Oh!
42:23You are paying for this, sir.
42:25I'm not Paris Loca, Hilton,
42:26whatever your name is.
42:27Listen, I don't understand your language,
42:29but you are paying for this.
42:30No, I'm not.
42:31No money.
42:32You understand that, putarwa?
42:33Ma'am, I'll handle this.
42:34Who the hell is this vato?
42:35Sir, I'm from half black.
42:36Half black?
42:37And under California Motor Code, Section 9,
42:39you are clearly liable for the day.
42:40Hey, look, Waldo, I'm not paying for nothing.
42:42I don't care if you know big words, man.
42:43I'm not paying for nothing.
42:43Caca, nada, eh?
42:44Okay.
42:45It's half black, cuz.
42:47Give up that money.
42:48Right now.
42:48Okay.
42:50Now, more money.
42:52Pray this nice lady score.
42:54That's right, cuz.
42:56Thanks, half black.
42:57Here at half black, being courteous, prompt, and professional
43:00has been our model for the last 15 years.
43:02Founded in 1991 by Jonathan Harding and Tyrone Jenkins,
43:06half black has vowed to put customers first and profit last.
43:09Our staff is eager, well-trained,
43:11and ready to serve all of your insurance needs.
43:13Half black.
43:14We do the paperwork, and we get your money.
43:17Half black insurance.
43:18We do the paperwork.
43:19And we get your money.
43:20Ain't that right, cuz?
43:21Yeah, yeah.
43:21Can I get a card?
43:23Claro que sí.
43:24Se habla espanol.
43:25I can't even get card insurance anymore.
43:32I got a DUI.
43:32That's fucked up, huh?
43:34I got a drink, cuz I can't smoke weed no more.
43:37I love fucking weed.
43:39Cuz the fucking dare lady went to my kid's school
43:41and showed her what weed looks like.
43:44Now I'm living with a fucking narc.
43:50I'm ruling it up.
43:51She's like seven.
43:52She's like, what's that?
43:53Oregano.
43:55No, that's weed.
43:57That's chronic.
43:57That's a good kind.
43:58Who the fuck told you that shit?
44:01McGrath.
44:04Fucking McGrath.
44:05I hope he gets parvo.
44:14Dude, how do they expect us to stay off of weed and drugs
44:17when all the cartoons we watch when we were kids were on drugs?
44:21Dude, Scooby-Doo was all high.
44:23He was high as hell.
44:26Think about it.
44:26You can't even go out to the monster unless you give him a munchie first.
44:28Remember that?
44:30Go out to the monster.
44:33For a Scooby-Doo.
44:34And he went.
44:37You know what I hate about that show?
44:38Thelma.
44:38Fuck that bitch.
44:39I couldn't stand her, dude.
44:40Every episode she lost her glasses, huh?
44:44Oh, my glasses.
44:45Get some contacts, puta.
44:47You're messing up the show.
44:51Popeye, dude.
44:52He smoked weed.
44:54Come on.
44:54He had a pipe.
44:55You don't box over spinach.
44:58Dude, you had to be stoned to think Olive was fine.
45:01The Smurfs, where they live?
45:09Mushrooms.
45:11Now, the Smurfs are cool.
45:13I want to know where the Smurfs are at.
45:15They should do, like, a reality show on the Smurfs.
45:19That would be...
45:19I'd watch that.
45:20Would you watch that?
45:22I found some footage of old Smurfs.
45:24You guys want to see it or what?
45:26And now back to As the World Smurfs.
45:31Oh, my God.
45:50What the Smurfs?
45:52Handy.
45:52The Smurfs are brainy.
45:54How could you Smurfs do this to me?
45:55Oh, Smurf.
45:56I knew you were nothing but a Smurfing Smurf.
45:58What did you call me?
45:59A Smurfing Smurf.
46:00You know what, Handy?
46:01Smurf you, all right?
46:03You're never here.
46:04I get lonely.
46:05That doesn't mean you Smurfed every Smurf in the village.
46:07Now, just calm down.
46:08You shut the Smurf up.
46:10Smurf you up.
46:10No, this is not...
46:12We can explain...
46:13Shut the Smurf up, brainy.
46:14You think you're so Smurfing smart.
46:16Yo, what up, Smegger?
46:17You should have seen it.
46:19Oh, Smurf!
46:21Yeah, yeah.
46:22You gonna Smurf that Smurf up?
46:24Hey, son.
46:25Oh, Smurf!
46:29Yeah, yeah.
46:30What do you expect, son?
46:31She's the only Smurfette in the village.
46:33She probably gave you Smurfies.
46:34Because we loved it, Smurf.
46:37After a brief career in Smorno, Smurfette got a rare case of smonorrhea and decided to go live the rest of her days in a smonorrhea.
46:44Handy Smurf joined up with a company who invented ShamWow and created the perfect pliers.
46:48He went on to make Smillions and now resides in Smaliboo, California.
46:52Papa Smurf finally got sued for past due child support from his 185 children.
46:56He is now on the run.
46:58Brainy Smurf went on to work as the CEO of Handy's Plier Company.
47:02He was later caught embezzling and is now serving a sentence in Smolson State Prison.
47:06Blue Smurf spent the next few years chasing a rap career and ended up creating the biggest grossing group of all times.
47:11S.W.A. Smiggers with Attitude.
47:14You know it's hot out here for a smurf
47:17When you're trying to get these smiggers off your turf
47:20And when Gargamel be cooking up a curse
47:23You know we put that smurfing honky in a hearse
47:26You know it's hot out here for a smurf
47:29You ain't know
47:30When you're trying to get these smiggers off your turf
47:32You ain't know
47:33And when Gargamel be cooking up a curse
47:35You ain't know
47:36You know we put that smurfing honky in a hearse
47:38You ain't know
47:41All the way from San Antonio, Texas, performing my favorite song, Rub My Back, Slap My Butt,
47:53Give It Up, for Al B. Garcia and the surprise package. Let them hear it, please.
48:11Rub My Back, Slap My Butt,
48:41Rub My Back, Slap My Butt, say what? Rub My Back, Slap My Butt, the girls, all the girls.
48:52Rub My Back, Slap My Butt, bring it down.
48:57Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, people with bets.
49:01There's a little song we do, it's called Rub My Back, Slap My Butt.
49:06Easy words, anytime you feel like it, you can sing along with us.
49:11Now, my girlfriend, not my wife, she said, Daddy, I liked it when you rub my back last night.
49:23And I said, well, Mama, that's what I'm here for, is to do your bidding.
49:26And she said, Daddy, I liked it when you rub my back real slow, you'll work your hands down low, real slow.
49:40Don't look at me that way, I'll see you.
49:46Well, boys and girls, about this time, she turned around, see, because she was butt first, see, she had her ass up.
49:53And she said, Daddy, I want you to slap me one time.
50:03And I said, well, Mama, that's what I'm here for, is to do your bidding.
50:11So I said, band.
50:13Why?
50:14Because I take the band everywhere I go.
50:18They like to watch.
50:19So I said, we're going to slap Mama one time real hard.
50:25I said, real hard.
50:27Y'all ready?
50:28Let's see what happens.
50:31One time real hard on the right cheek.
50:33She started quivering.
50:46I don't know about you, but this turned me on.
50:51And she turned around, because she was butt first, see.
50:57And she turned around, she said, now, Daddy, it was last Sunday, see.
51:02It was last Sunday.
51:04And she said, Daddy, I want you to slap me on the left cheek, because I turned the cheek,
51:11because I'm a Christian, and I turned the other cheek.
51:14That's right.
51:16So I said, band.
51:19Because I take the band everywhere I go.
51:22We're going to slap Mama one time on the left cheek real hard.
51:26Let's see what happens this time.
51:29One time.
51:30Oh.
51:32She started quivering.
51:40She started shaking.
51:42I don't know about you, but this really turned me on.
51:47About this time, boys and girls, she said, Daddy, I want you to wail on me.
51:54All right.
51:57That's what I'm here for, is to do your bidding.
52:02So I said, band.
52:03Why?
52:04Because I take the band everywhere I go.
52:07She said, now, Daddy, wail on it.
52:12I said, all right.
52:13We're going to slap Mama nine times.
52:18Nine times.
52:19Let's see what happens.
52:20She started shaking.
52:35She started quivering.
52:37Her eyes rolled back.
52:39Her hair fell off.
52:40Huh?
52:42Oh.
52:43It's all right.
52:43I picked it up.
52:46I taped it back on.
52:48Oh.
52:50I blew it back up.
52:51At just about that time, boys and girls, she turned around, she looked at me, she said,
53:04Oh.
53:05Rub my back, slap my butt.
53:08Yeah.
53:10Rub my back, slap my butt.
53:12I can't hear y'all.
53:17Come on.
53:18Rub my back, slap my butt.
53:20It makes me horny when you rub my back, slap my butt.
53:24I want to rub.
53:27Rub your back, slap your butt.
53:29Oh, baby, come on.
53:31Rub my back, slap my butt.
53:33She's getting into it.
53:35Rub my back, slap my butt.
53:37You know I want to rub your back, slap your butt.
53:41Bring it that one time.
53:45Ladies.
53:47Now, some of y'all get into it, some of y'all ain't.
53:50So I know which one of y'all likes to get rubbed, and I know which one of y'all likes to get slapped.
53:55On the butt, that is.
53:56Oh, yeah.
53:57Yeah.
53:58No.
54:00My boys and girls.
54:03She started queering so bad.
54:06She started shaking.
54:07I said, goodness gracious.
54:10This is making me horny.
54:18So ladies, anytime you need some safe saxophone, my number is 2-2-2, 2-2, 2-2.
54:28I'd like to wear that pink tutu.
54:31That's right.
54:33She said, rub my back, slap my butt.
54:37Oh.
54:39Rub my back, slap my butt.
54:42I like it when you rub my back.
54:45Slap my butt.
54:46Oh, daddy with ya.
54:48Rub my back, slap my butt.
54:50I'm gonna rub your back, slap your butt.
54:54You know I wanna rub your back, slap your butt.
54:59I'm gonna rub your back, slap your butt.
55:03Get into it, baby.
55:03Let's go.
55:05Rub your back, slap my butt.
55:07Oh.
55:09pockets all the money.
55:10Oh.
55:11Oh.
55:12Oh.
55:15Oh.
55:17Oh.
55:20Oh.
55:20Oh.
55:20Oh.
55:23Oh.
55:24Oh.
55:28Oh.
55:30Oh.
55:31Oh.
55:33Oh.
55:33Yeah.
55:33It.
55:34Oh.
55:34Oh.
55:35Ladies and gentlemen,
56:02Albie Garcia and the surprise package.
56:06Hey, I want you to give it up for the cast right now.
56:11Give it up for Mr. Rudy Moreno.
56:14Let him hear it, please.
56:18Mr. Eric Schwartz.
56:20Let him hear it, please.
56:24Please give it up for Mr. Bruce Jingles.
56:26Let him hear it, please.
56:31And the lovely Miss Sarah Tiana.
56:34Please give it up for her, too, please.
56:39Thank y'all for watching.
56:40I'm Jeff Garcia.
56:41That's our show tonight.
56:43God bless, y'all.
56:44Hit it.
56:46I'm Jeff Garcia.
56:59Thank you very much.
57:01Everybody, come on!
57:19Rub my back, slap my butt
57:20Rub my back, slap my butt
57:25He makes me horny when you
57:27Rub my back, slap my butt
57:29Oh, daddy!
57:31Rub my back, slap my butt
57:33Come on!
57:35Rub my back, slap my butt
57:38You know I want you to do
57:39Rub my back, slap my butt
57:42Rub my back, slap my butt
57:46Get on it!
57:48Rub my back, slap my butt
58:01And now, put it in place
58:06Rub my back, slap my butt
58:10Hell, someести
58:13E-heh-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah