An LA millionaire has defended her decision to remain childfree revealing it has benefited her mental health and says - "I can nap when I want."
Amie Tollesfrud, 36, says she never felt maternal growing up - she wasn’t interested in holding babies or volunteering to babysit.
When she met her now-husband, Erik Tollesfrud, 42, in her 20s, she told him, "If you want kids, find someone who does - I’m probably not the person for you."
Although the pair revisit their childfree decision every few years, Amie remains resolute.
She says they have reaped the "benefits" of not having children - they can sleep, travel, and spend time together freely, without having to deal with "loud noises or a messy house".
The online business course tutor came under fire when she posted a TikTok on March 19 using a sound that said 'Imagine coming home from a stressful day at work and there's someone in your house asking what are we we eating for dinner,' from women who called her "selfish."
But she insists she doesn't "really care what anybody else does" and focuses on building her own "legacy."
Amie Tollesfrud, 36, says she never felt maternal growing up - she wasn’t interested in holding babies or volunteering to babysit.
When she met her now-husband, Erik Tollesfrud, 42, in her 20s, she told him, "If you want kids, find someone who does - I’m probably not the person for you."
Although the pair revisit their childfree decision every few years, Amie remains resolute.
She says they have reaped the "benefits" of not having children - they can sleep, travel, and spend time together freely, without having to deal with "loud noises or a messy house".
The online business course tutor came under fire when she posted a TikTok on March 19 using a sound that said 'Imagine coming home from a stressful day at work and there's someone in your house asking what are we we eating for dinner,' from women who called her "selfish."
But she insists she doesn't "really care what anybody else does" and focuses on building her own "legacy."
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FunTranscript
00:00Imagine coming home from like a stressful day of work and there's someone in your f***ing house
00:04who's like asking you questions like what are we eating for dinner?
00:08Shut the f*** up.
00:10Whenever people find out that I don't want kids but I'm married and I've been married for 13 years
00:14people are like how did you find a partner that also doesn't want kids?
00:18And my answer is when I met him he actually did want kids.
00:22I was the first girl he had ever met let alone dated that had not wanted kids.
00:28It was like a completely foreign concept to him.
00:31He had never even thought about the fact that somebody especially a woman could grow up and just not want kids.
00:37And I completely respected his views and his wants which is why I was very upfront about the fact that I was like from the beginning
00:43just so you know I most likely do not want to have kids and I want you to know that ahead of time
00:49so like if you want to get out you can.
00:51But what he started to realize over the course of our relationship as we were like traveling wherever we wanted
00:56and moving whenever we wanted and just living on our own terms
00:59is that while yes I'm sure there are so many benefits to having kids
01:03I'm sure you love them so much and it changes your life in the best way
01:06there are also a ton of benefits to not having kids
01:10like your freedom, your time, your mental health, your money.
01:14Like both things can exist.
01:16You can acknowledge like I do that becoming a parent is literally the most important
01:20probably the hardest job anyone will ever have in their lifetime
01:24and also acknowledge the fact that like some of us don't want that responsibility
01:29or some of us just don't feel like we are cut out for that.
01:32We take the decision so seriously and we just know that like it's not for us
01:37I love when people use this as a dig to people who don't want children
01:40like thank you I actually am going to enjoy my life with all of the money that I can spend on myself
01:46I'm going to feel so energized and youthful sleeping 10 hours a night
01:50I'm going to travel whenever and wherever I feel like it
01:53I get to drive myself to Pilates every morning instead of doing school pickup
01:57and hey after that I might meet some girlfriends and have a boozy lunch
02:00just because I feel like it
02:01and when I get home and I'm a little sleepy I'm going to take a nap
02:04and then when I wake up I'm going to order Uber Eats
02:06I won't have to carry the mental burden of taking care of another human being
02:10I get to prioritize myself and the things that make me happy
02:13that sounds like a pretty good life to me
02:16hearing your baby cry while the dishwasher is on
02:18and the TV is blasting cocoa melon all at the same time
02:21constantly being touched or having a baby on your boob
02:24or having sticky fingers all over the place
02:26the mental gymnastics of answering questions all day long
02:29like why is the sky blue
02:30decision fatigue so figuring out what's for dinner
02:33which car seat to buy
02:34are these diapers toxic
02:35the constant mental to-do list
02:37managing grocery shopping
02:38doctor's appointments
02:39play date
02:40not to mention chores like laundry
02:42cleaning the house
02:42managing big emotions and outbursts
02:45about things that seem so inconsequential to us as adults
02:48but to them feel real
02:49so not minimizing their feelings
02:51never fully being able to relax
02:53getting woken up in the middle of the night
02:54or too early
02:55or staying up too late
02:56not being able to eat your food
02:58when it comes at a restaurant
03:00you have to cut up their food
03:01and make sure they're eating their food first
03:03oh my gosh
03:03dealing with other parents' opinions about your parenting
03:06I could go on
03:08now before all of the parents come for me in the comments
03:10about how much they love their kid
03:12I'm not saying you don't love your kid
03:14and it's not the best thing that you've ever done
03:16and you wouldn't change it
03:17all I'm saying is that for some people
03:19it is already hard enough
03:21going through life
03:22taking care of ourselves
03:23and being overstimulated in the world
03:26that we cannot fathom
03:27being responsible for another human
03:29So I thought that for many reasons
03:32and as at the end
03:35I was just looking at something
03:36like this
03:36I wouldn't be able to get a孩
03:38but I thought that was not been stopped
03:39through life
03:40but I thought that was not just
03:41I haven't noticed
03:41that remember
03:44the lingo
03:46and this 아직 an other
03:47went through life
03:48so I envision
03:48just like 3 p screaming
03:50and we need
03:51it's also
03:52before the pain
03:56get rid of the pain