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00:00A lot of people say to me, you were really lucky, and I don't feel lucky. I know being
00:09there when somebody leaves this place is a privilege, I know that, and I feel that, but
00:17I'm not sure I would describe it as being lucky. My name is Melanie, I was previously
00:23the Vice Chair at NHS Highland, and my particular interest was public health. I'm part of the
00:28Scottish COVID bereaved families group, because I lost my mum, she died from COVID in Invergordon.
00:36Mum was in a care home, and we went to visit her one day, and we found a piece of paper
00:43on the door saying that there was no visiting. We had no way of contacting her, so my mum
00:51had dementia, she couldn't use a phone, she couldn't use a mobile phone, she couldn't
00:58use any sort of tablet or device, and actually the care home didn't have Wi-Fi in the residence
01:05area, so they couldn't do that anyway. So we literally have no way of being able to
01:11contact her mum, even to let her know that we weren't able to visit, or anything like
01:18that, that was a huge, huge shock. And no prior notice, just literally me and my sister
01:26went to visit, and here was the door locked, and a notice on the door. That's how we found
01:31out. I started doing a bit of research about, you know, what were other care homes doing,
01:37and I found a care home that was doing what was called window visits, where you could
01:42go and you could talk to your family member through the window, and I managed to persuade
01:48Kintyre to allow window visits. It's quite hard communicating with somebody who has dementia
01:56through a window that's closed. Often what happens with dementia is, as people's recognition
02:04changes, the reason mum couldn't speak on the telephone is she couldn't connect the
02:09voice she was hearing with us, so if she saw our faces, she would know it was us, but she
02:15wouldn't recognise us on the phone. I had been trying to get visits with mum on the
02:21basis that, because they changed the rules to say that if people had dementia or other
02:27sorts of conditions, where being separated was really distressing for them. Towards the
02:33end of 2020, they were allowing visits, but strictly sort of controlled, and I had been
02:41applying for those visits, and the care home said no, they wouldn't allow them. Then they
02:47had a big outbreak, and initially mum tested negative, and because she tested negative,
02:58and because I had done a care plan in advance that said if COVID comes in the care home
03:04and she's negative, I'm taking her out, I was able to take her out of the care home,
03:10even though the care home threatened to report me to the social services and to call the
03:18police because they said I was endangering my mum. And I said, well, she has to be safer
03:24in a household with just me than in a care home where there's potentially now COVID spreading.
03:32I managed to get mum home, which was really unusual. Not many people, a lot of people
03:37wanted to do that, but not many people were able to do it. And then later in the first
03:43week, we actually, I took mum for a COVID vaccination, because they hadn't actually
03:50got round to doing them in the care home. So I took her for a vaccination, and then
03:55we had a test in the afternoon, and we both tested positive after that test. And then
04:02we were both at home, and obviously we couldn't have any visitors because we both had COVID.
04:11And I just nursed mum on my own at home. I describe that as the longest, loneliest week
04:20of my life, I think. But I'm so glad mum was at home. Initially, I didn't want to
04:26be part of Scottish COVID bereaved families group, because I kind of felt guilty in a
04:32way that so many people had to say goodbye over a mobile phone or an iPad or something
04:40like that. You know, they didn't even get to be in the same room. So initially, I didn't
04:46get involved with the group. I'm pleased mum was at home. I'm pleased for her sake
04:53that she was at home. It was really tough on my sister, because my sister couldn't be
04:58with us. So although I got to spend that time with mum, my sister absolutely didn't. And
05:03yeah, but she, at the end of the day, I'm not pleased she got COVID. And I'm not pleased
05:11that we had such a horrendous time with the care home. I've also given evidence at the
05:18Scottish and the UK COVID inquiry. I think the interesting thing about the module that
05:23we've just done down in London, you know, the lessons learned, is probably how much
05:29we haven't learned. We're not great at preventing problems, whether that be a pandemic or whether
05:38that be preventable health conditions. We're not very good at that. It would be fantastic
05:46if we took the people that find accessing vaccinations the hardest, and we build the
05:53systems around them. And then everybody else would be able to access it. But we don't.
05:59We do it the other way around. It's kind of crazy, really. I mean, in some ways, it seems
06:04like a whole other lifetime. In some ways, it seems like five minutes. And in some ways,
06:15you know, when I look how much further inquiries I've got to go on the things they're looking
06:20at, it's, you know, we've got a lot of work to do. Some moments, I still do that thing
06:28where I think I'm going to ring mum and I'm going to tell her something, and then realise
06:32I'm not going to be able to ring her. I mean, I tell her anyway, but yeah, I still do that regularly.