Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00Hello love, let's get close to our laundry hamper. Harper starts off a little hostile.
00:06She's inseparable from Dirk, your dirty laundry, and hates not having control.
00:12Relinquishing Dirk will take away her control of the situation. Harper has been so concerned
00:17with keeping everything she encounters close that she hasn't given her loved ones much time to live
00:23and take chances. Harper is played by Laura Bailey and Dirk is played by Johnny Youngbosh.
00:30Normally when you aim your dateviators at an object you see one personality only,
00:39but this time there are two. And they're so engrossed in a hideous argument they don't
00:45even notice you've arrived. One is dressed in woven straw with clothing in a basket on her back
00:52and a shock of red hair that runs down it. The other is only just visible under a messy
00:58mop of dark hair and a pile of dirty clothes he's draped all over his body.
01:29I wouldn't have to cling if you would just stay where I can see you.
01:34I am here literally every day. I can't have a minute to myself.
01:44Both of them whirl around to face you, their expressions changing immediately.
01:50Oh, hi.
01:51Hi. I'm sorry you had to hear that, but please don't worry. It's fine.
02:02Yeah, just fine. The energy in the room may have dampened,
02:07but there's still a thick tension in the air.
02:14Oh, don't worry. We didn't. We're really fine.
02:18Uh-huh.
02:20Oh, dear. We haven't even introduced ourselves, though Dirky and I know you well.
02:26Please don't call me that in front of other people.
02:30You're so cute when you get assertive, Dirky. Anyway, I'm Harper, and I'm your laundry hamper.
02:48I'm Dirk, and I'm your dirty laundry.
02:58He is a very dirty boy, isn't he?
03:02Harper.
03:04Harper stomps on Dirk's foot, beaming all the while. Dirk grunts, but says nothing.
03:12Anyway, that's us.
03:15You could sound a little happier when introducing us, Dirky.
03:19Do I not seem happy?
03:23He looks at you, stone-faced.
03:26Every minute with Harper is a non-stop party.
03:30Harper's smile grows strained.
03:33Well, someone around here's got to try to put a happy face on things.
03:37Dirky broods all the time like he's fucking Batman.
03:45What? No.
03:48You know, the baseball-themed superhero who patrols the stadium of Baseball City.
03:53Kind of weird you've never heard of him.
03:56Don't be rude, Dirky.
03:58Not. It's just surprising.
04:00Not everybody keeps their nose in a comic book like you do.
04:04Well, not everybody needs the level of escapism I do.
04:08There's an awkward silence, and then...
04:10You know, because they're not dating the Laundry Hamper equivalent of a bamboo finger trap.
04:16Harper is silent for a very long time, but you can feel another argument coming.
04:22Just as she opens her mouth, you speak first.
04:31I'm so sorry he made it so hard for you.
04:33You can hear Harper and Dirk's raised voices long after you leave the room.