Pot O Gold

Film Gorillas

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Transcript

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00:01:15Hello, Miss Simmons.

00:01:16Hello, Mary.

00:01:17Hello, Mr. Haskell.

00:01:18Here's your shirt, Jimmy.

00:01:19I turned the cut.

00:01:20Oh, thanks very much.

00:01:23It's little enough for letting Mary

00:01:24come here and practice every day.

00:01:26Ah, it's all right.

00:01:28How's she doing?

00:01:29Ah, just don't you discourage her.

00:01:30She keeps up this practice

00:01:31and she'll be able to play real good.

00:01:34I'll be back in an hour.

00:01:35Okay, I'll take good care of her.

00:01:37All right, hop to it, Mary.

00:01:39♪

00:01:53Oh, yeah.

00:01:54Give me an A, will you?

00:01:55♪

00:02:00That's it.

00:02:01Okay, thanks.

00:02:03♪

00:02:09Hey, Jimmy, when are you going to get the new record?

00:02:11Why, you kids haven't quite worn out the old yet.

00:02:13Won't be long now.

00:02:16Hi, Tommy.

00:02:17Here's the matron I left for lesson, Jimmy.

00:02:20Tomorrow I'll bring the bacon.

00:02:21Okay, here's your horn.

00:02:23I think you left your music over there someplace.

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00:03:10Oh, Charlie, hello.

00:03:11Glad to see you.

00:03:12Hello, Jimmy.

00:03:13I'm glad to see you too.

00:03:14Well, this is quite a surprise.

00:03:15What brings you up in this neck of the woods?

00:03:17Well, I came up to see you

00:03:19since you didn't take the trouble to answer my letter.

00:03:21Letter?

00:03:22Oh, well, I wanted a little time to think it over with you.

00:03:24Well, come on in, Charlie.

00:03:26♪

00:03:30I, I, I wrote you.

00:03:32I wrote you three months ago.

00:03:34Oh, was it that long?

00:03:36Well, I don't know.

00:03:37You know how it is.

00:03:38The fella gets busy every day.

00:03:40These things are dry weather.

00:03:42You have to change the oil every thousand miles.

00:03:44♪

00:03:51Jimmy, I came up to have an important talk with you.

00:03:55Go ahead, go ahead.

00:03:56I'm listening.

00:03:58Can't we go someplace without this entire racket?

00:04:02Oh, oh, yeah.

00:04:03Well, go right in my room, then.

00:04:05Where?

00:04:06Right, right over there.

00:04:07Oh.

00:04:08♪

00:04:10There we are.

00:04:11♪

00:04:14Oh, not that chair, Uncle Charlie.

00:04:16That needs a little fixing.

00:04:17I took it in on a trade for a secondhand clarinet.

00:04:21Jimmy, I'm not going to beat around the bush.

00:04:25As you know, you and I have not been very close.

00:04:28After all, we are the last of the Haskells.

00:04:31Oh, is that very serious?

00:04:32It is to me.

00:04:33I want to keep the name of Haskell in the health food business.

00:04:37Yeah, well, I understand how you feel, Uncle Charlie.

00:04:39I want to keep the name of Haskell in the music business.

00:04:42I'm talking about big business.

00:04:44Can't you understand?

00:04:47I need you, Jimmy.

00:04:49And someday you're going to get everything I've got.

00:04:53But you're not going to get it if you persist

00:04:55in frittering your life away in this town,

00:04:58this whistle stop.

00:05:02I like it here.

00:05:04My dad was happy here.

00:05:06Oh, I could never understand my brother.

00:05:09And I told him when he opened this place,

00:05:12he'd never make a go of it.

00:05:14Well, he kept it failing successfully for 25 years.

00:05:17That's not bad.

00:05:20If he'd listened to me, he'd been a rich man.

00:05:23But no.

00:05:24So what did he have when he died?

00:05:26The biggest funeral this town ever saw.

00:05:28Everybody was there.

00:05:29Why not?

00:05:30Everybody owed him money.

00:05:32Maybe so.

00:05:33Dad just had a wonderful time living.

00:05:35He liked things.

00:05:37He liked to hunt and fish.

00:05:38He liked music.

00:05:39Music!

00:05:42He talked a great deal about you.

00:05:44He did?

00:05:45Always seemed to feel so sorry for you.

00:05:48Sorry for me?

00:05:50Didn't get anything out of life.

00:05:52Just making money.

00:05:53Is that so?

00:05:55Since when has making money been a crime?

00:05:57Since when?

00:05:58Oh, I'm not going to argue with you.

00:06:01And I'm not going to let myself be upset.

00:06:03No, sir.

00:06:04Jimmy!

00:06:06Jimmy!

00:06:08Uncle, I'm sorry.

00:06:09Don't hit him, Jimmy.

00:06:10He's an old man.

00:06:11Oh, no.

00:06:12It was just a chair.

00:06:13You see, are you hurt, Uncle Charlie?

00:06:14Oh, don't mind me.

00:06:16Oh, hello, bud.

00:06:17Can I talk to you for a minute?

00:06:18Oh, yeah.

00:06:19Well, outside here.

00:06:20Will you excuse me a minute, Uncle Charlie?

00:06:25Afraid I got some bad news for you, Jimmy.

00:06:27Oh, what's the trouble, bud?

00:06:28Supposed to pack up this attachment.

00:06:30Bet you can dig up some money.

00:06:31Oh.

00:06:32Well, guess you have to pack it up.

00:06:35Unless you think eggs are going to go up to $500 a dozen all of a sudden.

00:06:39Well, see what you can do.

00:06:40I'll hold this off as long as I can.

00:06:42OK, thanks, bud.

00:06:48Oh, hi, sir.

00:06:50Hi.

00:06:51You were just telling me about some people that wanted some musical instruments.

00:06:54He's the sheriff, isn't he?

00:06:56How'd you know?

00:06:57I knew his father.

00:06:58He was serving a paper on your father the first time I came up here.

00:07:01That's right.

00:07:02Well, Jimmy, what's it going to be?

00:07:04You can stay here chasing rainbows, or you can come with me.

00:07:07I can show you a real pot of gold that's yours for the taking.

00:07:10Aye, aye.

00:07:11Wait a minute.

00:07:12That's a good idea for my radio program tomorrow night.

00:07:16You've heard my happiness hour, of course.

00:07:18Oh, yes.

00:07:19Everybody's heard that.

00:07:20Once.

00:07:21Listen to this.

00:07:23The clouds that make the day so gray must sooner or later pass away.

00:07:28There's always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

00:07:31Good old homespun philosophy.

00:07:34Oh, boy.

00:07:36Well, I've got to be going.

00:07:39What are you going to do?

00:07:41Well, I'll tell you, Uncle Charlie.

00:07:43Unless a miracle happens in the next few days, it looks like I'll slide down that rainbow.

00:07:48Aye.

00:07:51I'm riding the pot.

00:08:00Uh, what was I saying?

00:08:02And furthermore...

00:08:03And furthermore, I see no reason for changing...

00:08:07What was I saying?

00:08:08And furthermore...

00:08:09And furthermore, I see no reason for changing the airguns we are now using to puff our rice and other cereal.

00:08:17Our present airguns are exceptionally quiet in operation.

00:08:21I, therefore, would suggest that...

00:08:26There goes that band again!

00:08:30Oh, well...

00:08:42How can a man transact any business with that going on day after day?

00:08:46Tom-toms. Jungle screeches.

00:08:48They're a menace to sanity!

00:08:51What did I say?

00:08:52Tom-toms and jungle screeches.

00:08:54No, no, but that's what I mean.

00:08:56Some of the corporates took that band in their house just to annoy me.

00:08:59That's why they've ignored all of my protests.

00:09:02Well, I understand it's a new band just organized.

00:09:04Who wants a new band?

00:09:06Let them organize in a cave somewhere.

00:09:08Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:09:11I'll settle this once and for all.

00:09:16Hey!

00:09:18Hey, you!

00:09:20Hey!

00:09:22Hey, you!

00:09:23Hey, somebody!

00:09:26Hey!

00:09:29What's the matter?

00:09:30Stop that blasted bedlam, or I'll have it stopped!

00:09:34Oh, you will, eh?

00:09:36You and who else?

00:09:38The police!

00:09:39I'll have that gang of noisy loafers thrown in jail for disturbing the peace!

00:09:44Disturbing the peace, are we?

00:09:49What about that airgun of yours booming all day and night?

00:09:52I suppose that's a baby's lullaby.

00:09:55You white-headed old baboon!

00:09:59That booming is business, and besides, we're all used to it.

00:10:02The band is business, and you'll get used to a tour at your own hard luck.

00:10:06I'll get out an injunction.

00:10:08Oh, you will, eh?

00:10:09Well, listen, you black-hearted old skinflint.

00:10:12For years you've tried every trick to make me sell my house here so you could enlarge your factory.

00:10:18Well, I'm not selling, Haskell.

00:10:20Not at your price.

00:10:21So go ahead.

00:10:22Call the cops if you think you can have this band thrown out of here.

00:10:26You just wait.

00:10:27You'll find out!

00:10:34Go ahead, boys.

00:10:35Go to it, but loud!

00:10:37Jasper!

00:10:38Go get Jasper.

00:10:41Jasper!

00:10:42Jasper!

00:10:43Go get him!

00:10:44Find him!

00:10:45Don't stand there like a dummy!

00:10:46Do I have to do everything myself around here?

00:10:48Jasper!

00:10:49Jasper!

00:10:50What is it, CJ?

00:10:51Do I want you?

00:10:52Why aren't you here when I need you?

00:10:54Go get the police!

00:10:55The police, CJ?

00:10:56The militia, if necessary.

00:10:58That McCorkle woman has insulted me for the last time.

00:11:01But you said that before, CJ.

00:11:02I know, but this time I mean it!

00:11:05That band is driving me insane!

00:11:08It certainly is.

00:11:09Burt, have them arrested!

00:11:10I will.

00:11:11Burt!

00:11:21Hi, Sigh.

00:11:22What's a-cookin'?

00:11:23Hi, Sigh.

00:11:24How's she lookin'?

00:11:25Life will be as sweet as can be

00:11:27If I can find a cookie that's a-lookin' for me

00:11:30Hi, Sigh.

00:11:31I'm turnin' on this dime

00:11:33Turnin' ninety times

00:11:34All day long, I wash and dry

00:11:37To bring my little cookie out away from Shanghai

00:11:40It's time for you

00:11:41Ten cents to buy the raspberry new

00:11:44Your dog will get a real shampoo

00:11:46The real shampoo

00:11:47Your dog will get a real shampoo

00:11:49The real magoo!

00:11:51Ha! Ha!

00:11:52Rise, Miss!

00:11:58Bum-dee-dum-doo, deedle-dee-dum

00:12:01The fortune teller told me I was gonna clean up

00:12:12Any apples good?

00:12:13Just like I sell the Ritz Carlton.

00:12:15But then they ought to do for the McCorkle.

00:12:17I'll take a half a dozen.

00:12:21Here, Willy.

00:12:22What am I, a pack horse?

00:12:26Could be anything else, Miss Molly.

00:12:27No, that'll be all, thank you.

00:12:29Here, stupid.

00:12:30Well, take it!

00:12:36Come on.

00:12:40Too bad you can't carry a few bundles without complaining.

00:12:42Oh, I don't mind carrying them.

00:12:45Well, who are you?

00:12:47I'm the guy carrying the bundles.

00:12:50Well, thanks.

00:12:51I thought my brother, Willy, was behind me.

00:12:54Oh, no, no, he's quite ahead of you.

00:12:56I'm terribly sorry.

00:12:57You must have been surprised.

00:12:59No, no, I get life in the big city

00:13:01just one big surprise after the other.

00:13:03For instance?

00:13:04Oh, for instance, band music coming down out of the sky

00:13:06and broad daylight.

00:13:08Oh, that's up on our roof.

00:13:09On your roof? Is it?

00:13:10The band is strictly on the house

00:13:12until we get a job.

00:13:13Oh, well, you with the band?

00:13:15Well, my sister Donna and I sing with it.

00:13:17My brother plays in it, but mother feeds it.

00:13:19Oh, well, it certainly is a swell band.

00:13:21There's a slight difference of opinion around here about that.

00:13:23Oh, you mean the neighbors object?

00:13:25Oh, no, the neighbors are...

00:13:28Uh-oh, here comes trouble.

00:13:32Well, Mr. Korkel, as you can see, I'm here with the law.

00:13:35For protection, huh?

00:13:36Certainly not.

00:13:37We're here to give you the last warning.

00:13:39That music must cease, definitely, once and for all.

00:13:42I'm coming, Molly.

00:13:43What does this weasel want this time, a defiant law?

00:13:47No violence now. Speak to her, officer.

00:13:50Hello, Mom.

00:13:52You're in bad company, Mac.

00:13:53Well, I've been sent to deliver an ultimatum.

00:13:55Oh, you have, have you?

00:13:56Yes, and that band must go.

00:13:58They're disturbing the peace of the entire neighborhood.

00:14:00Oh, the entire neighborhood.

00:14:03Does it disturb you, Mrs. Papadopoulos?

00:14:05Not to me. It keeps me young.

00:14:07Disturbing the peace.

00:14:09What about you, Mrs. Sweeney?

00:14:11It's a big advantage to me.

00:14:12My old man can't fight when he hears music.

00:14:17They will, will they?

00:14:19The hoodlums, the ruffians.

00:14:22Now, go back to your kennel and tell old Man Haskell what you've heard.

00:14:28Hey, what's going on here?

00:14:30You've heard about the feud between the Hatfields and the McCoys, haven't you?

00:14:33Yeah.

00:14:34Well, this is the one between the McCorkles and the Haskells.

00:14:37What is that, who?

00:14:38Come on.

00:14:40Hey, what are you doing?

00:14:41I'm looking for a nice soft one.

00:14:45Oh, quit kicking me! Quit kicking me!

00:14:47Look out.

00:14:48Now, just a minute, just a minute.

00:14:50You might miss him.

00:14:53No.

00:14:55Oh, you hoodlums! You'll pay for this, you hoodlums!

00:14:58Now!

00:15:04Gosh, you hit the wrong man.

00:15:05Oh, no, you didn't. You hit the right man.

00:15:07You hit the right man.

00:15:08Run!

00:15:09No, wait.

00:15:10Come on!

00:15:15Oh, it's blood!

00:15:17I've been shot! I've been stabbed!

00:15:18You're all right, P.J.! Take it easy!

00:15:20No, I'm not all right.

00:15:21Call the doctor! Call an ambulance!

00:15:23But that isn't blood, P.J.!

00:15:25It isn't blood?

00:15:26Well, what is it? What is it?

00:15:27Tomato juice!

00:15:28Tomato juice and a tomato!

00:15:31Oh, it's clear. Come on in.

00:15:34Phew.

00:15:36Oh, you sure do know your backyards and fences.

00:15:38Oh, I'd have made better time yet if I hadn't had to wait for you.

00:15:41Oh, I didn't want to ask you to carry my suitcase.

00:15:47Have a donut, hero. It's the best I can offer.

00:15:49Hi. Hero, me?

00:15:51You certainly are.

00:15:52You know, I wouldn't be surprised if they put up a statue of you throwing that tomato.

00:15:55You know, like the discus fellow.

00:15:57Oh, well, that was an accident, hitting my, uh, that man.

00:16:00Accident?

00:16:02Accident? That was a stroke of genius.

00:16:04If you only knew how everybody hates old man Haskell.

00:16:07I do what?

00:16:08Why, I could give you a reason for every dollar he's got in the bank.

00:16:12Do you know that he tried to drive us out of our home because he doesn't like music?

00:16:15I'm sort of a stick, really.

00:16:17And how?

00:16:18Believe me, the name of Haskell is pure poison around here.

00:16:21Is it?

00:16:25Hmm.

00:16:28Guess I'd better be going.

00:16:31What's wrong? What's your hurry?

00:16:32Well, I have to find a place to live.

00:16:34I sort of expected to live with a relative of mine, but it doesn't seem like a very good idea now.

00:16:38Well, if you'd like a place where there's never a dull moment, what's the matter with this?

00:16:41I don't know.

00:16:43What's going on here?

00:16:44Who are you and what do you want?

00:16:45Mom, he's looking for a place to live.

00:16:47Oh, are you a new member of the band or will you be living here at a cash base?

00:16:51Mom, this is the fellow that hit old man Haskell with a tomato.

00:16:55Oh, glory be.

00:16:57Oh, you darling, why didn't you tell me?

00:17:00So you're the fellow.

00:17:02Now listen, young man, you're not looking any further.

00:17:05You're going to live right here with us.

00:17:07Here, give me the bag.

00:17:08Well, that's very nice of you, but I...

00:17:09Pardon me, no buts now.

00:17:10Why, the best room in the house is none too good for you.

00:17:13Whether you can pay for it or not.

00:17:14Come on now, give me the bag.

00:17:16You're not leaving this house.

00:17:17I'll take the bag.

00:17:18Willie!

00:17:19Willie, where are you?

00:17:20Mom, he's been looking for you.

00:17:21Has that arrangement finished?

00:17:23Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:17:24I want you to take this bag up to the big room.

00:17:27Can't anybody besides me ever carry a bag around here?

00:17:30Go on, McGinn, now.

00:17:31You're always grumbling.

00:17:32I'm not grumbling.

00:17:33Let me see it, Horace.

00:17:34Gee, these changes are swell.

00:17:36Slide over, Frankie.

00:17:39All right, boys, let's go.

00:17:47Say, when he starts to play

00:17:50The kids begin to trail him

00:17:53Hooray, oh, say, hooray for Pete the Piper

00:17:58When she plays the song

00:18:00All the kids will never fail him

00:18:03They sing a song along with Pete the Piper

00:18:08People gather round when they hear the sound

00:18:11The camels are come with a ray

00:18:13Hooray, when their lively feet catch the Piper's beat

00:18:16They start to sway and then it isn't long

00:18:21Till all the folks are dancing, their hearts are gay

00:18:25When he will play them a song

00:18:28When he's done all that, they pass the hat

00:18:31For fascinating Pete the Piper man

00:18:51Pete the Piper

00:19:16I'm sorry I didn't mean to butt in.

00:19:18Get him, boys.

00:19:22Sorry, I didn't mean to bust things out.

00:19:24All right, please.

00:19:28Can you read music?

00:19:29Sure.

00:19:30Play it like this.

00:19:31Me?

00:19:32Stand over there.

00:19:35Okay, Frankie, pick it up.

00:19:51Pete the Piper

00:20:11People gather round when they hear the sound

00:20:14The camels are coming

00:20:16Hooray, hooray

00:20:17Now it won't be long

00:20:19Till all the folks are dancing

00:20:22Their hearts are gay

00:20:24When he will play them a song

00:20:27When he's done all that, they pass the hat

00:20:30For fascinating Pete the Piper man

00:20:44Fascinating Pete the Piper man

00:20:49Hooray!

00:20:51Boys, look who's here! Grady!

00:20:54Grady!

00:20:59Grady!

00:21:05Grady's been pounding a beat out by the garbage dumps.

00:21:07A little argument with old man Haskell.

00:21:11Grady, you should have been here a little while ago.

00:21:13You'd have been even for life.

00:21:14Yeah, what happened?

00:21:15Oh, boy, plenty.

00:21:18That's what they call poetic justice.

00:21:20Must have been good.

00:21:22Good? It was perfect.

00:21:26Come on, come on, out with it.

00:21:28Well, old man Haskell came steaming over here.

00:21:31Yeah?

00:21:32And he got hit with a tomato.

00:21:36Right in the kisser.

00:21:38Oh!

00:21:41It was a soft one, naturally.

00:21:44A hit and run kind.

00:21:46Oh, boy.

00:21:48Nobody knows who did it, I hope.

00:21:51No, nobody but me.

00:21:53But I'm big-hearted.

00:21:54Boys, meet the sharpshooter.

00:21:56Molly McCorkle, will you never learn to keep your big mouth shut?

00:22:01What did I say?

00:22:02Too much.

00:22:05Open up, boys, open up.

00:22:10My boy, you should have a medal.

00:22:12Yes, sir, I'm sorry I can't be giving you one instead of this.

00:22:15Oh, thanks very much.

00:22:18What is it?

00:22:19It's a medal.

00:22:20It's a medal.

00:22:21It's a medal.

00:22:22It's a medal.

00:22:23Well, thanks very much.

00:22:25What is it?

00:22:26It's a warrant for assault and battery.

00:22:28Old man Haskell swore it out.

00:22:32Come on, son.

00:22:37Wait.

00:22:38Wait a minute.

00:22:39Grady!

00:22:42Wouldn't you like to give me a good swift kick before you go?

00:22:45Oh, that's all right.

00:22:47This has been fun here.

00:22:49And I enjoyed jumping over those fences with you.

00:22:51If I ever get this thing straightened out, I hope you'll let me come back sometime.

00:22:56And, uh, oh, thanks for that donut.

00:22:59That was all right.

00:23:01Yeah.

00:23:03Well, come on, Grady.

00:23:04Oh, yeah.

00:23:05Yeah.

00:23:09Next case.

00:23:12Hold everything, Judge.

00:23:13We'll be right there.

00:23:14Molly, where are you?

00:23:15Come on.

00:23:16Put me up the case.

00:23:17Stop.

00:23:18Order.

00:23:19Order in the courtroom.

00:23:21Mary McCorkle, sit down.

00:23:24Now, listen, Mike.

00:23:25Don't you be getting on your high horse with me.

00:23:28Sit down.

00:23:33Now, what's this case all about?

00:23:36Young man, what's your name?

00:23:38My name?

00:23:39I'd prefer your real name.

00:23:43Uh-huh.

00:23:47My name is James Hamilton.

00:23:51James Hamilton.

00:23:53Now, put that down.

00:23:54And where do you live, James Hamilton?

00:23:57He lives with us at my house.

00:23:59419 63rd Street.

00:24:02Now, tell me, James.

00:24:04How did you get enmeshed in the coils of the law?

00:24:08I threw a tomato.

00:24:13He's still modest, Mike.

00:24:15Came into Bulls-Eye and righted old man Haskell's case.

00:24:19He did?

00:24:25Where were we?

00:24:26I'd just thrown the tomato, Your Honor.

00:24:28Oh, yes.

00:24:29Yes, yes, yes.

00:24:31Now, tell me, Jimmy, my boy.

00:24:34Tell me, Jimmy, my boy.

00:24:36Did you, with premeditation and intent,

00:24:39deliberately aim at the force at Haskell's face?

00:24:43Wow.

00:24:44And the defendant refuses to answer

00:24:46on the grounds that he might incriminate himself.

00:24:49Glory be, Mike.

00:24:50You're settled and you're the law.

00:24:53Having weighed the evidence,

00:24:55the court rules that the case be postponed

00:24:59and the defendant released on bail.

00:25:02Provided anybody has any money.

00:25:05We have $200. Is that enough?

00:25:07That was the exact sum that the court had in mind.

00:25:11Who has it?

00:25:12I have it, Your Honor.

00:25:14The clerk will accept it.

00:25:18Next case.

00:25:19Thank you, Mike.

00:25:20Stand aside, please.

00:25:22Will you move over?

00:25:24I'm not pushing you.

00:25:27Don't you push me.

00:25:29Here comes double pneumonia.

00:25:31Out in the windows, boys, I smell still tomatoes.

00:25:36Very funny, Mrs. McCorkle. Very funny.

00:25:39I only wish it had been you that threw that tomato.

00:25:42So do I.

00:25:43Only I'd have put a rock in it.

00:25:45No, you wouldn't.

00:25:46Well, let me tell you...

00:25:51Proceed with the case, Judge.

00:25:53I'm here.

00:25:54Where's the man that assaulted me?

00:25:56If you don't mind,

00:25:57I'll conduct this case without any advice from you.

00:26:00That's better than mine.

00:26:17Move along.

00:26:18In you go.

00:26:24All right, take it away, Eddie.

00:26:31I bring a legitimate charge against the hoodlum.

00:26:35And before I can give my evidence,

00:26:37the thug is permitted to walk out right under your nose.

00:26:40In the first place, he wasn't under my nose.

00:26:42And in the second place, the defendant was released on bail.

00:26:45And in the third place, you're in contempt of court.

00:26:48And I sentence you to 25 days or $25.

00:26:51Oh, that ain't enough, Mike.

00:26:53Quiet, quiet.

00:26:55This is an outrage.

00:26:56It's a travesty on justice.

00:26:58$50 or 50 days.

00:27:00What?

00:27:01Make up your mind.

00:27:02It's worth 50 to tell you what I think.

00:27:04Is it worth 100?

00:27:05All right.

00:27:07But you wait until the next election.

00:27:09You wait until...

00:27:11I'm waiting.

00:27:12Until the...

00:27:15Your Honor,

00:27:16it appears that I haven't any money with me.

00:27:19Take him away, Bailey.

00:27:20You can't do this to me.

00:27:22Come on, Theresa.

00:27:23You can't do this to me.

00:27:29And he said,

00:27:34in the evening,

00:27:40I am home.

00:27:50Yes!

00:27:51That's what I said!

00:27:52That's what I said!

00:27:53That's what I said!

00:27:54That's what I said!

00:27:55That's what I said!

00:27:57We don't want that involved, though.

00:27:59We want...

00:28:00Hey, boss.

00:28:01Hey, what about when Johnny toots his horn?

00:28:03What'd you say?

00:28:04When Johnny toots his horn.

00:28:05When Johnny toots his horn.

00:28:06That's good.

00:28:07That's good.

00:28:08That's good.

00:28:09That's where I have a chance.

00:28:14You gotta get up.

00:28:15You gotta get up.

00:28:16You're in the army now.

00:28:18Johnny blows the bugle,

00:28:19knows the call from A to Z.

00:28:22But he's always at his best

00:28:24when blowing reveille.

00:28:33When Johnny toots his horn,

00:28:35disturbing the peace at break of the dawn.

00:28:37You gotta get up.

00:28:39You're in the army now.

00:28:41Before your eyes are open,

00:28:43you're dressing on the run.

00:28:45And standing at attention

00:28:47with the sergeant's hat on the corporal's gun.

00:28:49Oh, Johnny blows and blows.

00:28:51He tootally toots you into your clothes

00:28:53and makes you rue the day that you were born.

00:28:56The day you were born.

00:28:57There's nothing anyone can do.

00:28:59The captain has to make you do.

00:29:01You gotta get up

00:29:03when Johnny toots his horn.

00:29:23Toot. Toot. Toot. Toot. Toot.

00:29:27Toot. Toot. Toot. Toot. Toot.

00:29:30Toot.

00:29:32Toot.

00:29:34Toot.

00:29:36Toot.

00:29:38He toots you out of slumber,

00:29:40he toots you out of bed.

00:29:42He toots you into line

00:29:44and then he goes somewhere and he hangs his head.

00:29:46But still he blows and blows and blows.

00:29:48Blows and blows. Blows and blows.

00:29:50Frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen, yeah, yeah.

00:29:53He wakes you with his crazy tune that goes to bed and sleeps till noon.

00:29:58You gotta get up when Johnny Sluice is born.

00:30:03He stands behind the barricade and plays his morning serenade.

00:30:07The private gets up.

00:30:08The corporal gets up.

00:30:09The sergeant gets up.

00:30:10The lieutenant gets up.

00:30:11The captain gets up.

00:30:12The major gets up.

00:30:13The colonel gets up.

00:30:14The general gets up.

00:30:15The army gets up.

00:30:16You gotta get up when Johnny Sluice is born.

00:30:19Oh, oh, oh, when Johnny Sluice is born.

00:30:29Who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who.

00:30:44Music, music, even in jail, I hear music.

00:30:47You'll get used to it.

00:30:53Let me down. Take your hands off of me.

00:30:55And stop this nonsense.

00:30:57You're nothing but a lot of hoodlums.

00:31:01Jimmy, my boy.

00:31:02Uncle Charlie will fancy meeting you here.

00:31:04It's a gross miscarriage of justice.

00:31:06But they can't do this to me.

00:31:10On the other hand, what are you doing here?

00:31:12Oh, well, just another country boy got mixed up with a lot of evil companions.

00:31:16Evil!

00:31:22What's wrong, sir?

00:31:23We have more prisoners in here than we have commitments.

00:31:25Someone sneaked into our jail.

00:31:27What?

00:31:28Yeah.

00:31:29You're frauding the taxpayers, that's what it is.

00:31:31All right, gangway boys, come on, come on.

00:31:33Line up over there, line up.

00:31:35You, what's your name?

00:31:37Haskell.

00:31:38Haskell.

00:31:39Okay, we got a Haskell.

00:31:40All right, stand over there.

00:31:41What's your name?

00:31:42Haskell.

00:31:43Oh, wise guy, huh?

00:31:45I suppose you're all named Haskell.

00:31:47Yeah.

00:31:48What's your initials?

00:31:49Uh, James H.

00:31:51I got no James H. nothing.

00:31:53So you're the stowaway.

00:31:55Come on, get out of here.

00:31:56You ought to be locked up for pulling a stunt like this.

00:31:58James, my wallet is on my desk in the office.

00:32:01Get it and pay my fine, will you?

00:32:02Okay, Charlie, I'll be right back.

00:32:04So long, fellas.

00:32:05So long, Jimmy.

00:32:06So long, Jimmy.

00:32:07So long, Jimmy.

00:32:08So long.

00:32:11Hey, can you sing?

00:32:13No, I hate music.

00:32:15We got to do something about this, boys.

00:32:38Hey, Jimmy, where have you been?

00:32:41Where have you been?

00:32:42Yeah.

00:32:43Oh, uh, me?

00:32:45Oh, I...

00:32:46I'll have to, uh...

00:32:47What's the matter?

00:32:48Oh, we've been looking all over town for you.

00:32:50Yeah.

00:32:51Yeah?

00:32:52What for?

00:32:53What for?

00:32:54Oh, boy.

00:32:55So long.

00:32:56Hey, here's Jim.

00:32:57Molly.

00:32:58Jimmy's here.

00:32:59What?

00:33:00What did I tell you?

00:33:01I knew he'd come back.

00:33:02What happened and where have you been?

00:33:04Oh, I got locked up again by mistake.

00:33:06Oh, you certainly had the boys worried.

00:33:08They've been sitting here chewing their fingernails, thinking you'd run out on them.

00:33:11Well, why am I so popular all of a sudden?

00:33:13Well, they pawned their instruments to bail you out.

00:33:15Molly's idea.

00:33:16Oh, well, thanks.

00:33:19Very nice to know that I'm worth $200 on the hoof.

00:33:22First call for dinner!

00:33:25Jimmy, your bag!

00:33:27Oh, you'll be at the first table.

00:33:28Take care of him, Molly.

00:33:34Don't touch a thing.

00:33:35Get up from the table, all of you.

00:33:37Why, what's the matter, Ma?

00:33:38Have you forgotten you have a new membership initiated to the class?

00:33:41Here, you sit next to him.

00:33:42What?

00:33:43Come on, Willie, get up.

00:33:44Come on, now, and stop your grumbling.

00:33:54Shh!

00:33:58Hail, McCorkle!

00:34:01Hail, McCorkle!

00:34:04We'll proudly sing thy praise.

00:34:15Hail, McCorkle!

00:34:18Hail, McCorkle!

00:34:20Where no one ever appears.

00:34:26Rah! Rah!

00:34:27To this university,

00:34:29For the fraternity,

00:34:30So full of knowledge.

00:34:32Rah! Rah!

00:34:33Welcome to our little college.

00:34:35Rah!

00:34:36And as we march along,

00:34:39We'll sing our college song.

00:34:45A knife, a fork, and a spoon.

00:34:48We'll beat out the happy tune.

00:34:51You'll all feel chummy as you fill your tummy

00:34:53With a knife, a fork, and a spoon.

00:34:56Start tap, tap, tap in a dish.

00:34:59You'll get your favorite wish.

00:35:02In troubled fashion was your corned beef.

00:35:04Had you with a knife, a fork, and a spoon.

00:35:07At Mama Corkle's table,

00:35:10That's where we play each night.

00:35:13We eat all that we're able.

00:35:16So we may fuss, it's home to us.

00:35:18So come on, lift up your cup.

00:35:21Let's drink it down, bottoms up.

00:35:24Through stormy weather,

00:35:25We'll all stick together with a knife,

00:35:27A fork, and a spoon.

00:35:33We're gathered round the table.

00:35:38We're real friends through and through.

00:35:44We're gathered round the table.

00:35:50To eat Mars Irish stew.

00:35:56Mars Irish stew.

00:36:01Mars Irish stew.

00:36:26Boarding house, dear boarding house,

00:36:30From thee we'll never roam.

00:36:38Oh, boarding house, dear boarding house,

00:36:44To us, your home sweet home.

00:36:58Hey, that was all right.

00:37:00You can now consider yourself

00:37:01A full-fledged member of the McCorkle clan.

00:37:03Oh, do I make a speech?

00:37:05You do, you'll starve to death.

00:37:07Hey, look at this Irish stew.

00:37:10There you are.

00:37:11Tomatoes?

00:37:16Well, help yourself.

00:37:19No tomatoes.

00:37:39What's the matter?

00:37:40Oh, nothing, nothing.

00:37:43Would you excuse me?

00:37:44I don't feel very well.

00:37:46Oh, it's probably too much excitement.

00:37:47I might be all right.

00:37:48The jail and everything, you know.

00:37:50Well, I think I'll be all right

00:37:51If I go out and get some fresh air.

00:37:53Willie, you'd better go with him.

00:37:54Sure.

00:37:55Oh, well, you don't...

00:37:58Well, maybe I'd be better off

00:37:59If I just went up to my room for a while.

00:38:01Willie's sure in his room.

00:38:02Come on.

00:38:03Willie does everything around here except eat.

00:38:07If you want anything, just holler.

00:38:13Home sweet home.

00:38:14Oh, thanks.

00:38:17Uh-huh.

00:38:42When Johnny toots his horn

00:38:44Disturbing the peace and breaking the dawn

00:38:46You've got to get up

00:38:47Toot, toot, toot, toot

00:38:48No, no, no.

00:38:49That's outrageous, outrageous.

00:38:51I know it, but you're getting better.

00:38:52I don't want to be better,

00:38:53And I still hate music.

00:38:56You're so unreasonable.

00:38:58All right, all right, all right, all right.

00:39:00Now try it again and put in some gestures.

00:39:03When Johnny toots his horn

00:39:05Disturbing the peace and breaking the dawn

00:39:07You've got to get up

00:39:08Toot, toot, toot, toot

00:39:09You're in the army now

00:39:11Before your eyes are open

00:39:13You're dressing on the run

00:39:15The corporal's got the sergeant

00:39:16At detention with his gun.

00:39:19When Johnny blows and blows

00:39:21He toots his horn

00:39:22Disturbing the peace and breaking the dawn

00:39:23You've got to get up

00:39:24Toot, toot, toot, toot

00:39:25No, no, no.

00:39:26That's outrageous, outrageous.

00:39:27I know it, but you're getting better.

00:39:28I know it, but you're getting better.

00:39:31Where have you been?

00:39:33You'll be sorry for this.

00:39:35Look what they've done to my boys.

00:39:39How am I going to broadcast

00:39:41The Haskell Happiness Hour tonight?

00:39:43Well, would there be any complaints

00:39:44If you just called the whole thing off?

00:39:46What?

00:39:47Tell them you lost your voice singing in a jail.

00:39:49Don't pirate, Indianist!

00:39:53Ladies and gentlemen,

00:39:54Due to circumstances beyond our control

00:39:58We again bring you

00:39:59The Haskell Hour of Happiness

00:40:00With C.J. Haskell, makers of

00:40:02Haskell's Paddock Cakes,

00:40:03The health food supreme.

00:40:06Ladies and gentlemen!

00:40:08I can't do it, I'm sick.

00:40:10I'm croaking.

00:40:12All right, come on.

00:40:13Jimmy, you do it for me.

00:40:14Oh, no.

00:40:15None of that, none of that.

00:40:16Mr. Haskell will be with you in just a moment.

00:40:23Ladies and gentlemen!

00:40:27Tonight, I want to share a little poem with you.

00:40:34We all should be grateful and happy as kings

00:40:37The world is so full of such wonderful things

00:40:41The rain and the sun help the earth to grow wheat

00:40:44Perhaps it's the most...

00:40:45Hey, Willie!

00:40:46Full of any cereal wheat

00:40:48What do you want?

00:40:49Listen to this, will you?

00:40:50The sun on the ocean sparkling and bright

00:40:53What do you want to listen to that stuff for?

00:40:54Just listen for a moment.

00:40:55The trees and the planets at night

00:40:57The pansies...

00:40:59The pansies and lilies, the primrose so fickle

00:41:03They're ours to enjoy without spending a nickel

00:41:06The brain...

00:41:22Good evening, sir.

00:41:23Good evening, Box.

00:41:26Box!

00:41:30Is the guest room in order?

00:41:32Certainly, sir.

00:41:34This is my nephew, Mr. James Haskell.

00:41:37Oh!

00:41:39How do you do, sir?

00:41:41Same to you.

00:41:42Pardon me.

00:41:43Is your luggage in the car, sir?

00:41:45Luggage?

00:41:46Oh, I just had one suitcase and I left...

00:41:48What are you whispering about?

00:41:49I don't know. You started it, sir.

00:41:51I lost my voice singing.

00:41:53Singing? You, sir?

00:41:54Yes, I'm...

00:41:55I think I'd better go and get my suitcase.

00:41:57You won't need it. We have everything here.

00:41:59Come on!

00:42:01Well, here you are, my boy.

00:42:03This is all yours from now on.

00:42:05I'm so happy to have you with me at last.

00:42:08Oh, thank you, sir.

00:42:10In case you need anything, it's right there.

00:42:12Oh, that's fine.

00:42:14We'll have breakfast at 7.30,

00:42:16then I'll take you over to the factory

00:42:18and introduce you around.

00:42:20Best of all, I'm going to put you on the payroll.

00:42:23I don't imagine you've got much money.

00:42:26Well, your cashier cashed a check for me.

00:42:28Your personal check?

00:42:30How much?

00:42:32Oh, it was certified.

00:42:34$214. That's what was left when I closed up shop.

00:42:37Oh, well, that dismal episode is behind you forever, my boy.

00:42:42Tomorrow is another day.

00:42:44With more music by the McCorkles, probably.

00:42:47Jimmy!

00:42:49That old lady is deliberately trying to wreck my health.

00:42:53But why?

00:42:54Just because I want her back.

00:42:56Why?

00:42:57Just because I want her property.

00:42:59Oh, that's very unreasonable.

00:43:01It's getting on my nerves.

00:43:02I can't stand it any longer.

00:43:04Well, Charlie, why don't you go on a vacation?

00:43:07And let the McCorkles think

00:43:09that they're chasing me out of town.

00:43:11That's just what they want.

00:43:13Nothing is going to stand in the way

00:43:16of my getting the man who hit me with that tomato.

00:43:21This is my room, if you want me.

00:43:26I'm going to take a hot bath

00:43:28and a hot toddy and go to bed.

00:43:30Good night, Jimmy.

00:43:31Goodbye, Mr. Turner.

00:43:50Do you believe in fairy tales?

00:44:12I do.

00:44:17I know a place where fairy tales come true.

00:44:27Just close your drowsy eyes, my dear,

00:44:30and a genie will appear.

00:44:33He'll take you by the hand

00:44:38and through a star-embroidered sky

00:44:41on a carpet you will fly.

00:44:46And you'll awake in fairy land.

00:44:53A prince will ride upon the sea.

00:45:03He'll say, fair lady, be my queen.

00:45:12In this beautiful land of laughter,

00:45:17you'll live happily ever after

00:45:23if you believe that fairy tales come true.

00:46:24Do you believe in fairy tales?

00:46:30I do.

00:46:34I know a place where fairy tales come true.

00:46:43Just close your drowsy eyes, my dear,

00:46:46and a genie will appear.

00:46:50He'll take you by the hand

00:46:54and through a star-embroidered sky

00:46:58on a carpet you will fly.

00:47:03And you'll awake in fairy land.

00:47:09Do you believe in fairy tales?

00:47:14Gadzooks! Stop that infernal music!

00:47:17You have quite made it, old baboon.

00:47:19Quiet, Winch! Jasper! Jasper, where are you?

00:47:21Here, CJ.

00:47:22Go and get the Jasper!

00:47:23Okay, CJ.

00:47:25Run, Jimmy! Run for your life!

00:47:27Run, Winch!

00:47:28Catch him! Catch him!

00:47:30A prince will ride upon the sea.

00:47:36Run, Jimmy! Run for your life!

00:47:38Look out! Look out! He's got a neck!

00:47:40Don't you touch him! Look out!

00:47:44Won't you be my queen?

00:47:52What a dream I was having.

00:47:57Well, you just keep right on dreaming.

00:48:01Okay with me.

00:48:06And you believe that fairy tales are true.

00:48:14Good night.

00:48:17Good night.

00:48:37Oh, hello. Hello.

00:48:40Was anything wrong?

00:48:41We heard you on the radio.

00:48:43You did?

00:48:44Wasn't I terrible?

00:48:47Did Molly hear it?

00:48:48No.

00:48:49No, she didn't.

00:48:50Well, that's good.

00:48:51Look, it's what goes on between you and CJ Haskell.

00:48:54Oh.

00:48:55Well, I might as well tell you. He's my uncle.

00:48:58Oh, yeah?

00:48:59Yeah.

00:49:00Well, here. I'll prove it to you.

00:49:01Here's a letter he sent me.

00:49:02To James Hamilton Haskell. That's me.

00:49:04Here. You want to read it?

00:49:05No, I've read enough.

00:49:06Say, what is this? What are you doing here?

00:49:09Oh, well, I almost forgot what it came for.

00:49:12In the first place, there's $200. Now you can get your instruments out of hock.

00:49:15Did you get that from your uncle?

00:49:16You don't know my uncle.

00:49:18Thank you, Jim.

00:49:19That's all right. That's all right.

00:49:21I like the people in this house.

00:49:23Especially, well, I like everybody.

00:49:25I'd like to live here all the time, but...

00:49:28as soon as Molly finds out who I am, she'll kick me out in the alley.

00:49:31Well, suppose she doesn't find out.

00:49:33Well, that'd be very nice, but...

00:49:35Now, look, you've been regular.

00:49:36You didn't have to come across with that dole.

00:49:38I'm for you, Jimmy.

00:49:39How about you, Hart?

00:49:40Sure thing. I'm for you.

00:49:41Well, thanks very much. I mean...

00:49:44No, I...

00:49:45I still got troubles.

00:49:47Don't you see? Sooner or later, Molly's going to find out who I am.

00:49:50Just like sooner or later, old man Haskell's going to find out who threw that tomato.

00:49:54And then it just won't work.

00:49:57Either way, I'm a dead duck.

00:49:59Well, how's your uncle going to find out?

00:50:01Well, he'll see me at the trial, won't he?

00:50:03What would happen if Uncle Charlie didn't show up for the trial?

00:50:06They'd throw the case out of court.

00:50:08Well, there's your answer.

00:50:09We get rid of Uncle Charlie.

00:50:11How?

00:50:12Well, we let Red run over him with the ice wagon.

00:50:14What, do you think he'd do it?

00:50:15Oh, you couldn't do that.

00:50:17What do you mean, we couldn't do that?

00:50:19Red'd love it. I'll go get him.

00:50:20Oh, wait a minute. Hold on here.

00:50:22Couldn't you do something not quite so drastic?

00:50:24Any idea?

00:50:26Yeah, I think I'd better go back to Point Jervis.

00:50:29Uncle Charlie's a pretty tough guy to deal with.

00:50:31And from the way he talked tonight, you'd better find someplace else to rehearse your band.

00:50:35Well, so long, Horace, folks.

00:50:37I'm sorry about this.

00:50:38Willie, thanks for everything.

00:50:39So long, Jimmy.

00:50:40Jim, wait a minute.

00:50:41What?

00:50:42That's it. The band.

00:50:43He doesn't like it.

00:50:44No, he certainly does not.

00:50:46What?

00:50:47Come on.

00:50:50Come on.

00:50:59There it is.

00:51:30Don't shoot, Bill!

00:51:32You're gonna get what's coming to you, slug.

00:51:59Jimmy!

00:52:18Jimmy!

00:52:22Jimmy!

00:52:24Here he comes. Do you think it'll work, Horace?

00:52:26Let's hope it won't fall off.

00:52:29Uh, yes, Uncle Charlie?

00:52:30Jimmy!

00:52:32What are you doing down here?

00:52:34And who is this man?

00:52:35Well, I'll tell you, Uncle Charlie.

00:52:36I got worried about you.

00:52:37I couldn't sleep, so I called in a specialist.

00:52:39Now, this is Professor Hite.

00:52:40This is my Uncle Charlie.

00:52:42Oh, nonsense.

00:52:43I don't need a doctor.

00:52:45I eat my own health foods.

00:52:46It's my nerves that are cracking.

00:52:48That's why I'm here, Mr. Haskell, to work on your nerves.

00:52:51Relax, please.

00:52:54Relax?

00:52:55How can anybody relax with that music going on?

00:52:59Music?

00:53:00Music?

00:53:04What music?

00:53:06That creepy music.

00:53:07Don't you hear it?

00:53:10I don't see what I mean, Horace.

00:53:16I tell you, I hear music.

00:53:19Maybe it's the radio in the library.

00:53:25It's not the radio.

00:53:27Do you still hear it, Uncle Charlie?

00:53:28Yes, it's still playing.

00:53:30Mr. Haskell, tell me.

00:53:32Where does this music seem to be coming from?

00:53:34I don't know, but just a moment.

00:53:37I'll tell you.

00:53:42It's here. It's playing down here.

00:53:47Uncle Charlie, don't you think you better go back to bed?

00:53:49I tell you, Jimmy, I hear it.

00:53:52Here.

00:53:55Here.

00:53:56Here it is.

00:53:58It's coming from the furnace.

00:54:00Music in furnace.

00:54:02Well, listen yourself.

00:54:05Jimmy, please tell him it's here.

00:54:07Do you hear it?

00:54:10I'll get Parks.

00:54:12He'll get me out of here.

00:54:13Parks will back me up.

00:54:15You'll see if he don't.

00:54:16What's the matter?

00:54:19There.

00:54:20Don't tell me you don't hear anything.

00:54:22Oh, yes.

00:54:23It's about time.

00:54:24I was beginning to get nervous.

00:54:25Beautiful string quartet.

00:54:26String quartet?

00:54:28It's bugles.

00:54:30Here's bugles on phone.

00:54:31I tell you, I hear bugles.

00:54:33It's bugles.

00:54:34Don't try to humiliate me.

00:54:35Oh, God.

00:54:36Now, let's go and get some air.

00:54:37You've nothing to worry about until you start seeing things.

00:54:40There's nothing wrong with me.

00:54:51Jimmy, look.

00:54:52Doctor, look.

00:54:53What do you see?

00:54:54What do you want us to see, Uncle?

00:54:55Girls dancing on the lawn.

00:54:57Where?

00:54:58There.

00:55:04These paper dolls dancing on lawn.

00:55:07Paper dolls.

00:55:08You're right, Jimmy.

00:55:09I'm in terrible shape.

00:55:11My nerves are all gone.

00:55:13Doctor, what do you think I'd better do?

00:55:16Mr. Haskell, give your nerves a good long rest.

00:55:19Get out of town.

00:55:21I'll do it.

00:55:23I'll go up in the woods.

00:55:24Fine.

00:55:25We'll help you pack.

00:55:26No.

00:55:27Not until I find the man who threw that tomato.

00:55:30Now, Uncle Charlie, your health is much more important than that silly tomato.

00:55:34Yes, Mr. Haskell.

00:55:35That's right.

00:55:36Sure.

00:55:37Now, let me handle this.

00:55:38I'll put the finger on that fellow.

00:55:39He's as good as in jail right now.

00:55:40Almost.

00:55:41And while you're up there resting, he'll be well taken care of.

00:55:43Don't worry about that.

00:55:44And I'm the guy that can do it.

00:55:46Good.

00:55:48I'll take the first train out in the morning.

00:55:51What's the matter now?

00:55:53The music stopped.

00:55:56All but the bullfiddle.

00:55:58I see you're improving already.

00:56:00Yes.

00:56:10Hi, Mr. Haskell.

00:56:11What can I do for you?

00:56:12Hello, Mr. Lauterman.

00:56:13Well, I just dropped in to see if we could make the Haskell happiness hour a little bit happier.

00:56:17Welcome, stranger.

00:56:19Sit right down.

00:56:20What do you have to drink?

00:56:21Well, I...

00:56:22Hello, Mr. Backers.

00:56:23What's the purpose of this meeting?

00:56:25Well, we were about to discuss the program.

00:56:27You know very well that I have charge of the happiness hour during Mr. Haskell's absence.

00:56:31He trusts me implicitly.

00:56:32Well, not a hundred percent.

00:56:33I beg your pardon?

00:56:34Look, I have a note from my uncle giving me complete charge of the program.

00:56:38Hmm?

00:56:39Well, it didn't take you long to undermine me with your uncle, did it?

00:56:41Mm-mm.

00:56:42How do I know you didn't write that yourself?

00:56:44Now, listen, Mr. Lauterman, there'll be no change...

00:56:46Would you excuse us a minute?

00:56:47I'd like to talk to you.

00:56:48Yes, we had better talk this over.

00:56:49Yeah, yeah.

00:56:51Be right back.

00:56:55Oh!

00:56:59I'd like to make some other improvements, too.

00:57:01Go right ahead.

00:57:02Well, I'd like to use a band.

00:57:04No, no, no, please, no.

00:57:05We're overloaded with bands.

00:57:06No, but this is ideal because my uncle hates it.

00:57:09What?

00:57:10Yeah, drove him clear up to Canada.

00:57:11Well, then what'd he want to put on his program for?

00:57:13Well, it's pretty hard to explain, but you see, it'll give the band a break...

00:57:17and then they'll have to thank my uncle for it, and that'll make him feel pretty good.

00:57:21Up in Canada?

00:57:22Up in Canada, yeah.

00:57:23And there's sort of a feud going on.

00:57:24A feud?

00:57:25Uh-huh.

00:57:26And then there's a girl.

00:57:27Oh, a girl.

00:57:28Yeah.

00:57:31Sounds pretty confusing, doesn't it?

00:57:34Well, no, it sounds pretty good.

00:57:36Does it?

00:57:37Well, that's it.

00:57:38You play Thursday night over a coast-to-coast hookup at the opening of the Eastchester Country Club.

00:57:42That's great, Jim.

00:57:43How did you ever do it?

00:57:44Well, I don't know.

00:57:45I just started to talk.

00:57:46And I'm just as surprised about it as you are.

00:57:48How much did we get for it?

00:57:49Uh...

00:57:51Nothing.

00:57:52Nothing?

00:57:53No, you don't get anything.

00:57:54Oh.

00:57:55Well, what of it?

00:57:56Is it any different than playing for the neighbors in Old Man Haskell?

00:57:58What do we get out of that?

00:57:59At least this way, there's a chance.

00:58:01I'm sold.

00:58:02What can we lose?

00:58:03That's all right for me.

00:58:17Give me a push.

00:58:19Bonsoir, monsieur.

00:58:21What did he say?

00:58:22Bonsoir, monsieur.

00:58:24And you made me drag this pack through the woods for four hours

00:58:28to get to a place where nobody can talk English.

00:58:30What kind of a guide are you, anyway?

00:58:32Hey, Pierre.

00:58:34Avez-vous machine talkie-talkie?

00:58:37Uh, no, I don't think so.

00:58:39I've got a good one right there.

00:58:41I'm not a peddler.

00:58:42This one is busted.

00:58:43I want to hear a program in America that goes on at eight o'clock.

00:58:47Well, help yourself.

00:58:51Here.

00:58:52Get this avalanche off my back.

00:58:54Oui, monsieur.

00:58:57Oui, monsieur.

00:59:14THE END

00:59:22Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

00:59:23That's all right now.

00:59:24We're about to start our broadcast.

00:59:28Well, boys, here we go.

00:59:30Good luck.

00:59:33What, are you scared?

00:59:34Oh, just take a deep breath.

00:59:36THE END

00:59:42Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

00:59:43The Haskell Happiness Hour comes to you tonight

00:59:46from the dining patio of the exclusive Eastchester Country Club.

00:59:49Country Club?

00:59:50What the...

00:59:51This marks the first appearance on the air of a new band.

00:59:54Music!

00:59:55And here's...

00:59:56Online program?

00:59:57Thank you and good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

00:59:59This is Horace Hite, and the first number on our program

01:00:02is Broadway Cavaliero, featuring Miss Molly McCorkle.

01:00:06McCorkle!

01:00:08And here she is, the charming Molly.

01:00:17He's disarming, alarming, charming and gay

01:00:22First he steals your heart, then he throws it away

01:00:27He will tell you of tropical nights

01:00:30Make you dream of a thousand delights

01:00:32First you hold your hand, say you're simply grand

01:00:35Soon you're thinking his way

01:01:01Cavaliero!

01:01:03He's never been south of the border

01:01:06He's never been Argentine way

01:01:08But when he starts to pit, the chances are he'll forget

01:01:11That he's a Cavaliero from Broadway

01:01:14South on Broadway

01:01:16He'll hold you and say, Señorita!

01:01:19Right here in my arms you must stay

01:01:21And from his dialect, I know you'd never suspect

01:01:24That he's a Cavaliero from Broadway

01:01:27South on Broadway

01:01:29His daytime he spends parading on the avenue

01:01:34Then later, you'll always find me with a girl or two

01:01:38And a third in view

01:01:40He'll take you to all the gay places

01:01:43He'll make every Latin cafe

01:01:45He'll give you such a thrill

01:01:47And then he'll hand you the bill

01:01:48This charming Cavaliero from Broadway

01:01:51South on Broadway

01:01:55When Madame Lozango learned the conga, I swear

01:01:59I gave her the lessons and I gave her the air

01:02:02It seemed to be love in bloom

01:02:03Suddenly, boom!

01:02:04Another girl took over from there

01:02:07I know if you meet him, you are likely to fall

01:02:10His methods are sensed because it catches them all

01:02:12He'll sing you a serenade

01:02:14Gently played upon an old melodic guitar

01:02:25He'll bring up the subject of dancing

01:02:28And all of his pupils will say

01:02:30He's such an awful drummer

01:02:32No one dances a rumba like the Cavaliero from Broadway

01:02:36South on Broadway

01:02:40Ohhh

01:02:44Ohhh

01:02:51He'll tell you

01:02:53He lives in Argentina's biggest house

01:02:56But we know

01:02:58His hacienda is a boarding house

01:03:00Run by Sanger Krause

01:03:02He's such an impetuous fellow

01:03:04He's like a dog having his day

01:03:07This morning on D'Amico really comes from us

01:03:09We go for a cab, but yeah, we're from Broadway

01:03:13He does, okay!

01:03:16This morning on D'Amico really comes from us

01:03:19We go for a cab, but yeah, we're from Broadway

01:03:22He does, okay!

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