Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
Best Short
  • yesterday
Gogglebox S25E14

#CrimeTVShowUSA
🎞 Please join
https://t.me/CinemaSeriesUSFilm

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Tell me why it ain't nothin' but a mistake
00:04Tell me why I ain't never wanna hear you say
00:10I want it that way
00:14Yeah!
00:15That's a wrap! That's a wrap!
00:20Yes!
00:22This is incriminating. Let's listen.
00:24There you go.
00:25What?
00:27What just happened there?
00:28Look, Vinny's perked up a nut.
00:33You'd expect this in like a Hollywood blockbuster.
00:36Nah, nah, nah!
00:37Hell, that's not what I'm saying!
00:39Just bounce, Jane. Just bounce.
00:42Oh!
00:43Yes!
00:44Oh, I'd be doing great if I were an audience.
00:46Vinny's licking your vanilla spice!
00:48Have you got Trump fatigue yet?
00:50No, he's a great disruptor, mate.
00:52In the week an old Soviet spaceship from 1972 re-entered the Earth's atmosphere,
00:59we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:02Lads were locking lips on BBC Three.
01:07I guess it was good. I guess it was good.
01:09It just felt...
01:12I'm buzzed.
01:13You had to be trained up, didn't you?
01:15I don't want to hear about it!
01:18Before he kissed me, he used to lick his lips.
01:23It was anticipation.
01:25We were having a laugh at midlife meltdowns on Netflix.
01:28Why are we whispering about?
01:30How drunk are you right now?
01:32I'm at the good part where I think I'm at my funniest
01:36and you think I'm starting to get a little annoying.
01:39You know, I've always been such a big fan of Steve Carell.
01:42I would watch anything he's in.
01:44Yeah, I feel like he just makes bangers.
01:46Everything he's in is funny.
01:48My favourite is definitely The Spittle and Me.
01:51Why?
01:52Because you relate to Greek.
01:54Yeah, that's what he used to call me all the time.
01:57Do you know what I used to call him?
01:59It's my nose, isn't it?
02:01Because me and him both have runny noses.
02:03Yeah.
02:04And I have a hunchback.
02:06For lunch, we steal the moon!
02:09And sex birds were showing us the ropes on Channel 4.
02:13I want to give you a little demo
02:15of what you might get to if you tease your appetite a little bit.
02:19Andre?
02:21We call it Up Against the Wall.
02:23Oh, he's a shagger, if I've ever seen one.
02:25Yeah.
02:26With a top cut like that.
02:27He's the Rosemary Bates.
02:28He's having three or four shags a day.
02:30We've got Throbbing Hun coming through.
02:32Yeah.
02:33I always want to know.
02:43You know how I just got back from Spades?
02:45How was it, then?
02:46It was nice.
02:47I did a lot of solo bits on my own.
02:50I even got a Thai massage there.
02:52Sisters Amira and Amani.
02:54I think she was trying to figure out if I was a boy or a girl.
02:59She looked at me like this.
03:04I think she was trying to figure out what I am.
03:09She was just like...
03:11That's so funny!
03:13And then I go...
03:14This has been trying to pop out of my boobs a bit more.
03:16Yeah, just me.
03:18Just so she knows that I'm not a man.
03:21This is why Mum tells you to wear dresses, Amira.
03:27On Wednesday night, there were more duos dashing around on BBC One.
03:31Are you ready to go racing, Sonnyman?
03:33We'll be racing to Benidorm, won't we, in a month?
03:36Is it in a month?
03:37Yeah.
03:41I can go across all wheel, never mind across the world.
03:43No.
03:44In the programme, we met race leaders Brian and Melvin in Nepal.
03:48We're ahead of everybody else, so we can afford to spend a bit of time here.
03:52Yeah, but don't get cocky, though. This is where it goes wrong.
03:59Keen to immerse themselves in local life,
04:01Brian and Melvin plan to head west.
04:04That's the bandit bird. How much?
04:06700 rupees.
04:08700 rupees? What's that, Dad and Jean?
04:11Well, it's two people.
04:13Well, if one is 1,400...
04:151,400 rupees!
04:19No discount there. I love that.
04:21If you do 1,000...
04:24Not a chance, mate. I hate it when I have to waggle.
04:28I have started doing it a bit, though.
04:30Have you? Yeah, yeah.
04:31I know, but that's really bad, Jenny. You can't do it in Tesco's on the till.
04:34Not here, I don't do it.
04:361,500.
04:37What?
04:381,500? He just said he was 1,400.
04:40What just happened? Hang on a second, yeah.
04:421,500.
04:43What is it?
04:44Two pieces. 1,500.
04:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
04:47That's not good angling, that.
04:49That's the worst angling ever.
04:51What did he ask him first?
04:52He wanted 1,700 and he's agreed to do 1,500.
04:55Are you sure? I could have sworn he said 1,400.
04:58Did he?
04:59He did.
05:00He did?
05:01He's retired from financial advising now, has he?
05:04Yes, sadly.
05:07High above the valleys,
05:09Brian and Melvin are still in Bandiboor.
05:12Oh, right, OK.
05:13Brian and Melvin are helping Sarjan with his morning chores.
05:17What are his chores, Julie?
05:18I don't think it'll be just washing pots, do you?
05:22Clean inside.
05:23Clean?
05:24Yeah.
05:25Oh, they've got to clean the pigpen.
05:27Oh, they don't.
05:28If you're keen to do that, Melvin, you go for it.
05:31Brian's not keen.
05:33He's scared his gilet will get mucky.
05:35Do you know, if that were me and you,
05:37I'd be Melvin and you'd be Brian.
05:39You would say to me, right, you get that,
05:41I'm done, I'll just watch.
05:42Are you joking?
05:43We all know that it would be me,
05:44ought to be cankled in pig shit.
05:48Come, come, yeah, come.
05:49Here we go, Lee, what's the next job?
05:51What have I got to do?
05:52Yeah.
05:53Yeah, dirty.
05:54Clean.
05:55Yeah.
05:56What, with my hands?
05:57Yeah.
05:58Oh, wow.
05:59Come, come.
06:00Oh, no!
06:01OK, I didn't expect that.
06:04It fucking breaks me down at the minute.
06:06I've got this one.
06:07Put it down.
06:08That's diggity.
06:09I'm doing all right.
06:10Proud of me for picking up shit.
06:12It's going to need more than that little bucket of water
06:14to clean those hands.
06:15A few pumps of imperial leather at least.
06:17Right, come on, then.
06:18When I'm getting into the race again,
06:20I've forgotten about the race, haven't you?
06:22Two teams are closing in on the fourth checkpoint.
06:26Race for the finish.
06:27This is where it gets frantic, innit?
06:29What's the Ganges?
06:30I think I might have been near it.
06:32Follow the river up to find your checkpoint hotel.
06:37Suri Ode Habili.
06:40Who's going to get there first?
06:41Come on.
06:42Who's going to make it, Dave?
06:43Ah.
06:44Ah.
06:45Can you read it?
06:46That's it.
06:47OK.
06:48Caroline and Tom are now closing in.
06:49Aren't they?
06:50They're near the river now.
06:51They're near the river.
06:52They're near the river.
06:53They're near the river.
06:54They're near the river.
06:55They're near the river.
06:56They're near the river.
06:57They're near the river.
06:58They're near the river now.
06:59Doing all right, Tom?
07:01For the Gats, there's something to do with it.
07:03Oh, dear.
07:04Oh!
07:05Oh, he's done an injury.
07:06Oh, dear.
07:07We can't afford to fall when we're in our 60s.
07:10Fuck.
07:11Oh.
07:12Come on.
07:13Get up, Brayton.
07:14You're going to have to hop now.
07:15Come on. You're nearly there.
07:16You'll be going through.
07:17You're all right.
07:18Get up.
07:19You've only got to go up these.
07:20Come on.
07:21Let's go.
07:22It's OK.
07:23Walk it off.
07:24Come on.
07:25Come on.
07:26So many steps.
07:27You wouldn't like all these steps, Simon, would you?
07:29Oh, my God.
07:30I'd have given up ages ago.
07:31Well, you'd be buggered if that were Jane or Margaret.
07:33They can't do stairs.
07:34Do you think this is it?
07:35Is it here, Jane?
07:36Yeah, here it is.
07:37Here it is.
07:38That's it there.
07:39That's it.
07:40OK.
07:41Up the stairs.
07:42Oh, my God.
07:43Up the stairs to the door.
07:44Let's go.
07:45Come on.
07:46He's going to get there first.
07:48Please sign in here.
07:49Let's see.
07:50Open the book.
07:51Sign in overly.
07:52Oh, they've done it.
07:54I thought they really lost the lead.
07:56I went and did bed and boarding, and I got to make friends
07:59with this elderly Thai woman, and she showed me this hole
08:04in the floor, and a massive tarantula came out,
08:06and she sliced it in half with a spade.
08:08God.
08:11But it was free to stay there.
08:14Poor tarantula.
08:15No, it was on a school path.
08:16It had to go.
08:17Oh, my God.
08:18Oh, my God.
08:19Oh, my God.
08:20Oh, my God.
08:21Oh, my God.
08:22Oh, my God.
08:23I can't imagine, little one.
08:24It was on a school path.
08:25It had to go.
08:26Oh, was that when you were teaching those children
08:27English?
08:28Yeah.
08:29They were laughing at me tits.
08:30Oh, God.
08:31In Leeds.
08:34So, me and Nat are going to Salou in August.
08:38You canceled Salou.
08:39Well, I didn't.
08:40You were the first instigator of everybody cancelling Salou.
08:43I wasn't the first instigator of everyone cancelling Salou.
08:46Because do you know what? Mam obviously, she couldn't cancel Salute because she booked
08:50it separate to us and not as a package. So she was still going. And Mam's going for two
08:56weeks. And I thought, do I want to be at home with Ezra?
09:00I knew you were going to say that. You just don't want to be without childcare for two
09:04weeks. So you'll take the child to her on holiday so she can care for him there.
09:09I might get a couple of hours to myself on the sun lounger.
09:13That's all you're thinking about. On Monday night, we got very hands-on with
09:18a radical new series on Channel 4. So this is an island of virgins.
09:26Nothing to do with Richard Branson. Aunty Jane says that when she was younger,
09:30that she always wanted Cad to do it outside and he never would.
09:33Why are you telling me this? Why do you know this?
09:42Twelve virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment.
09:48Bloody hell, Pad. You should have gone on this. About four years too late.
09:54In a world where sex is everywhere. It's not in here, is it?
09:58Not here it's not, no. The truth is surprising. There are more adult
10:03virgins than ever. I wonder why that is?
10:06Are there? Or are people talking about it more?
10:10Being a young adult in this day and age, it's difficult.
10:14Social media, dating apps. Influences, TV shows.
10:17Porn. Porn is everywhere.
10:20You know what? There's too many screens. Back in game, they didn't have all else better to do,
10:24you know. People just got fingered.
10:26Yeah. Oh my lord, I don't think I want to see this.
10:32Oh, I do. When did you lose your virginity, Jane?
10:36Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
10:39No. Beautiful, beautiful.
10:42In the episode, sex therapist Celeste and Danielle got us loosened up with some breathing exercises.
10:50Just listening to my voice. I'm gonna start by taking a nice deep breath.
10:56Yes. Okay, who's willing to make sound with me?
11:08Oh, that lad's awkward. Yeah.
11:11And for touch phobic Jason, it's more than he can handle.
11:19Oh, I feel sorry for Jason because for him, it's a genuine phobia. That's the
11:25reason behind his virginness. All right, so this exercise is about saying no.
11:31You say no all bloody time. Yeah, it wouldn't be a bother for me, that.
11:34When I'm around a member of the opposite sex, I feel awkward.
11:38Can't punch you in the face. Can't punch you in the face.
11:41I tend to say things without thinking. Can I throw you in the seat?
11:46No. Can I throw you in the seat?
11:48The next one is going to shock you.
11:50In another scene, Celeste is jasoning with some touch therapy.
11:56So you want to start with like just touch. Yeah, just put it in.
12:00Is it okay? Like, is the sensation feel good? It's already like that.
12:06Go on, Jason. Before turning things up a notch.
12:09So I was thinking maybe trying some different connection positions to build confidence.
12:15Yeah. Yes, Jason. Come on.
12:17Oh. What like?
12:19Lying next to one another. Spooning or something.
12:22Legging one leg and the other in. I don't know. Let's find out. Like a jigsaw puzzle.
12:26Let's try it. So you can lie down like here.
12:29Yeah, lie down on your back. Like with your head down there.
12:32I'm going to like move in here. Oh, my life, Jason.
12:36She's getting on top of him. Sweet. Sweet.
12:40See if you can like just connect with your sexy idea.
12:44If you feel an urge to touch back, feel free.
12:48This is happening. Oh, God.
12:52It's like your nana looming over you.
12:59He's relaxing a bit, isn't he? Do you think?
13:02Nice, Jason. He's getting more and more comfortable.
13:05He is. He's actually relaxed.
13:08Yeah. Oh, look at that boy.
13:16Oh, my Lord. He's learning.
13:18He's a quick learner. He's a quick learner, isn't he?
13:20He is. Oh, people are disgusted.
13:25And you can't touch. I can't touch it.
13:29No. Jammy bastard.
13:32That's a very thick bra she's got on, though. Yeah, it would be in there.
13:36It's a work bra.
13:38Now I want you to see if you can take your energy seriously now
13:42and look at me like, I want to fuck you, kind of vibe.
13:47Well, that's going to be a bit too much, so let's, yeah, just slow it down a bit.
13:55He seems to know what he's doing to me.
13:57Go on, fella. Yes, fella.
14:01I think we've done it. I think we've cracked it.
14:03You need a little break here, don't you?
14:04I feel a bit hot just now. You need a little break?
14:06OK.
14:15Who would have thought when he walked in to now?
14:17I didn't think they'd get to that stage so quick.
14:20No.
14:20This is a gem. This is what it feels like.
14:23I'm feeling incredible. Absolutely incredible.
14:26She's a miracle worker.
14:28I was a virgin. Well, I am a virgin still, but I'm like a dippy virgin now.
14:32I'm close to losing it.
14:33Oh, that is men that, isn't it?
14:35See what a bit of lust can do for you.
14:37He's got a bit of confidence now.
14:39Bit of lust and desire.
14:41I think I've done it in a changing room,
14:43where they're about up against the wall.
14:44I suppose it was a little ledge.
14:47I don't want to know.
14:48Sorry, I'm trying to help the show, you know?
14:51God, if I told you every wall here, you'd be horrified.
14:54Completely unnecessary.
14:58Double standards.
15:02In Manchester.
15:09Can you see that face on the teapot?
15:12Irwin's been graffitiing everything with those pens.
15:15Alison, her husband George and her daughter Helena.
15:19He's done my teapot.
15:20I found a flipping banana the other day with a face.
15:22Yeah.
15:23And then I went to read my gardening magazine.
15:25Monty Darn had been vandalised.
15:29What had he done to Monty Darn?
15:30He's got antennae and fangs.
15:33This week, Netflix had a new drama about a group of middle-aged couples that holiday together.
15:41Lie down, buddy.
15:42Buddy?
15:43You had a bit of drama DJ?
15:45Dramedy?
15:46Drama, comedy.
15:47Steve Carell's in this.
15:48Is he?
15:49He is, yeah.
15:54Wouldn't it be nice to have friends to go on holiday with?
15:58All I've got is you.
15:59Although, to be fair, I do like going on holiday with you.
16:02Yeah, you encroach on my holidays.
16:05I don't like you to holiday without me.
16:07No, you don't.
16:10Yes, get in there.
16:12In the programme, we saw the friends settling down for dinner in Anna and Nick's lake house.
16:17Okay, I'd like to make a toast to Nick and Ann on their 25th.
16:23Oh, that's nice, isn't it?
16:24They've all gathered for Nick and Ann's 25th wedding anniversary.
16:28Silda, that one.
16:29Yeah, 25 years.
16:30I'm double up this year.
16:31Yeah, you are.
16:32It is rare in this life to find your soulmate.
16:36Oh, this sounds like a perfect couple, doesn't it?
16:38Have you found your soulmate, Dad?
16:39Hell yeah.
16:41Where is she?
16:46Are you guys happy?
16:48What do you mean?
16:49Can you honestly say that you are happy in your lives?
16:54That's a big question, isn't it?
16:55People do ask that, actually.
16:57Yeah.
16:57People who ask that aren't usually happy.
16:59Yeah.
17:00What kind of question is that?
17:05I'm leaving, Ann.
17:06You what?
17:07They're just celebrating their 25th.
17:09He's leaving her?
17:11No.
17:12Is there somebody else?
17:13No, no, no, no.
17:14It's not like that.
17:15It's Ann.
17:16What's the matter with her?
17:18I hate her.
17:19Oh.
17:21It's taken a while to figure that out, then.
17:2325 years to figure out he hates his wife.
17:25I hated my ex-husband, too.
17:31She's given up.
17:33She doesn't do anything.
17:35Oh, I'm getting like that, probably.
17:37She's sort of like the air fryer.
17:42I don't think they're splitting up or the marriage because of a fucking air fryer.
17:45She won't go out on the boat.
17:47I built her that pottery shed.
17:50She hasn't made one thing.
17:51They're just playing with her, aren't they?
17:54This will literally be page about me in 20 years.
17:56I can see it now.
17:57He's bored.
17:58Nick is bored.
17:59He is.
18:00All she wants to do is play this farm game on her iPad.
18:05I love that farm game.
18:07I play it, too.
18:08That farm game's addictive, isn't it?
18:13I'm going to tell her as soon as this weekend is over.
18:15He hasn't even tried to speak to Ann about it.
18:18That's going to be awkward for the rest of the holiday, isn't it?
18:20God, it's like he's hit 25 years and that's it.
18:23Right.
18:24It's almost like he's retiring from that marriage.
18:26Hi, guys.
18:27What's going on out here?
18:28Well, I sent Nick an hour away to get bagels because...
18:32Because what?
18:33This is my anniversary present to him.
18:35A surprise vow renewal ceremony.
18:38Oh, shit.
18:40Oh, my God.
18:42A vow renewal ceremony, Simon.
18:47He's going to freak out.
18:49You're fucking telling us.
18:50He is going to freak out and you're quite right.
18:53Yeah.
18:53Right, now somebody needs to warn her.
18:55Is this the point where it's like, do somebody say something to her?
18:58I think so.
19:03Oh, gosh.
19:03Where is he going to get out of this?
19:05The whole family's there.
19:09Ollie.
19:11Shit.
19:12Surprise, we're renewing our vows.
19:16What do you do?
19:18Come clean or go for it?
19:20He can't get out of this.
19:22He'll have to get food poisoning.
19:24And you've got the floor.
19:27Oh, she's got a speech.
19:28Oh.
19:30She's going to declare all of her undying loves for him.
19:32Nick, I love you.
19:37Not every second of every day.
19:39I love that you're always surprising me.
19:43Or buying me the world's biggest kiln and installing it yourself.
19:46Even when the guy said it simply must be done by a professional.
19:50The kiln, that must be the pottery shed that she never uses.
19:53Oh, that's nice to mention.
19:54And you annoy the hell out of me.
19:56And I annoy the hell out of you, too.
19:58You really do annoy him.
19:59You don't know how much?
20:00And I would be so honoured to annoy the hell out of each other in sickness and in health
20:06until death do us part.
20:07Oh, isn't that sweet?
20:09Yes, I think he'll have to change his tune though, I think.
20:13OK, I'm going to see the dread.
20:16Would you like to say something, Nick?
20:20Hmm.
20:22I can't even know if I can watch.
20:24If he humiliates her, he will be the devil.
20:28But if he goes through it and then tells her after he's the devil, he's doomed.
20:35Oh, God.
20:39Amy?
20:43Me?
20:44The kiln's blown up.
20:46It wasn't done by a professional.
20:51It was saved by...
20:53The kiln.
20:54The kiln.
20:54The kiln.
20:57So that's why you should never pay to get someone to install stuff.
21:01If you just do it yourself instead, there's a chance it might blow up when you need it to.
21:09You know, I know we always talk about eggs a lot, but you know when you unpeel your egg,
21:14do you get that egg membrane stuck on it and then it pulls the egg off?
21:18The sadikis.
21:20It's so bad, isn't it, when you, like, demolish your egg by...
21:23I hate it when you're taking chunks out of your egg.
21:25Mum never does it.
21:26Mum's like the master at de-shelling an egg.
21:29E-th-eg.
21:29E-th-eg?
21:30Yeah.
21:30But how's she learnt it?
21:31Yeah.
21:32I think she knows a trick how to get under the membrane.
21:34Do you reckon?
21:35Yeah.
21:36Yeah.
21:36She gets under my skin all the time.
21:40This week, there was more drama coming out of London's poshest postcode on E4.
21:45Oh, well, let's have a little look over the other half of Libby and his posh channel,
21:48innit?
21:49Yeah.
21:49Sam and Yaz, they were dating, yeah?
21:52Yeah.
21:52Yaz and Sam broke up.
21:53She started dating this DJ called Arman.
21:56But now she's started seeing Sam Prince again.
21:58Shut up.
21:59Mmm.
22:00Let me get my tea.
22:01Took the man away to Dorset and everything, you know, and then got cheat with Sam.
22:08Are you ready to be confused?
22:10I am.
22:10I can't keep up with these guys.
22:12If you've got the Chelsea Riz, you can go there.
22:16Have I got it?
22:17No, none of us have.
22:18How are you doing, brother?
22:19Good.
22:20Still feeling it in my delts, but good, other than that.
22:22Oh, man, still feeling it in his delts.
22:24It must be the mixing.
22:26This is Arman, the DJ that Yaz was hooking up with, yeah?
22:29He's practising for barging people out the way.
22:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:32Sam.
22:33Oh, shit stirrer.
22:35Yeah.
22:36Miles is usually at the centre of drama, isn't he?
22:38Oh, it's never far from it, Miles.
22:40He's a bit of a playboy, isn't he, Miles?
22:43I want them to do what is right for them,
22:45but I think deep down we all know that they're not right for each other.
22:48They don't think that Sam and Yaz should be together,
22:50so they're giving the two a penalty, aren't they?
22:53I'm just going to pause you there.
22:54Oh, what does he know?
22:56Spill the beans.
22:58Sam was saying some shady stuff to me.
23:00Tell us, Arman.
23:01What's Sam been saying?
23:03Basically, he said, no, I don't think she's wife material.
23:07Oh.
23:09What does that mean?
23:11It means that he fancies her,
23:13but he doesn't want to be saddled with her.
23:14She'd be no good at doing housework and cooking.
23:17Let me tell you now, Lee,
23:19it won't be long before she knows she's not wife material.
23:23Ah.
23:24I didn't realise your caddy was coming.
23:26No, just best friend.
23:27Sarcastic Sam's back.
23:29It's Sam and Yaz.
23:30Oh, they're ambushed, Sam.
23:32Shut up.
23:33I've called you every single week to check in on you.
23:36You never even sometimes call me back.
23:37Oh, she's getting it in the neck.
23:40Just went from zero to 100 real quick.
23:42I mean, there's a lot of things he could obviously say
23:45about that night that happened.
23:47And also that Arman kind of shared with us, but he hasn't.
23:50But I'm going to say them instead.
23:51Oh, there's a lot of things that he could say.
23:54But he's kept his gums shut.
23:55But now you're getting a bit lippy,
23:57he's going to hold the taps up.
24:00Oh, here we go.
24:01Oh, Christ.
24:02Look at Sam, don't look.
24:04You didn't see that she was...
24:05No, you said...
24:06What was it?
24:07She's not wife material.
24:10Oh, good.
24:11Look how he's pretending.
24:13What was it now?
24:15Did you mean wife material?
24:16I think that's what it was.
24:18I would never say that because Jasmine is wife material.
24:21I would never say that because she's here.
24:24What did you talk about Jasmine like?
24:25She isn't there.
24:26Like she's an anonymous mute object.
24:28I never said that.
24:29I never said that.
24:31So what did you say?
24:32Well, I'm trying to make something up.
24:33One second.
24:35Trying to think of something that I could have possibly not said.
24:39One second.
24:40I can't stand when Armand would lie.
24:41Why?
24:41Clearly.
24:43Because he's got my dog front over him.
24:44You always think though, people like that with their arms folded,
24:46they're fucking lying.
24:49Get out of like Armand Yaz and this for a second.
24:54Come on, Temps, speak up.
24:55Now you've got Temps riled up.
24:56Love it when Temps gets angry.
24:57You get Temps riled up.
24:58You don't want to get Temps riled up, you know.
25:00Should he be sat there feeling like a knobhead
25:02because someone's leaving a message?
25:04Again, you're not letting...
25:05Temps, man.
25:06Calm down, Temps.
25:07Is Temps short for temper?
25:08This is as aggressive as you can get in the posh world.
25:11Like, oh, just listen.
25:15I've literally just...
25:16No, you said just go.
25:16All right, fuck you then, mate.
25:18Oh, that's childish.
25:20I don't understand why people do that when you say just go.
25:23You think because you've told me to go, I'm going to go.
25:25Here's what I'm going to do.
25:26The opposite.
25:27Exactly.
25:28Get me feet up.
25:29Exactly.
25:34Oh, we're at the angels and demons party.
25:36That's right.
25:36Sounds like magic.
25:37I know, Simon.
25:38That's not far from you.
25:39No, I know.
25:40It's up the road.
25:42Hello, champ.
25:42How are we?
25:43Oh, you've dressed as a demon.
25:44Oh, no.
25:45Oh, God.
25:46It's Sam, Arman, and Temps.
25:49Yeah, fuck.
25:49I hope it's awkward already.
25:50Do you mind if I have a chat with that one?
25:53Please.
25:53I like that.
25:54I kind of want to watch.
25:54Hey, I'm going nowhere.
25:56Out from real seats.
25:57What's the situation?
25:58I can tell you something.
25:59I work between the DJ here.
26:00You work here?
26:01Okay.
26:01I'm telling you, fuck off.
26:02Okay.
26:03Oh, my God.
26:03If you just hit me there, you're the star.
26:05You said that we've had a discussion.
26:07Yeah.
26:07In Dorset.
26:08Yeah.
26:08That I said that Yaz is not marriage material.
26:10Wife material.
26:11Get it right.
26:11I wouldn't say any of these things to her, Chauffeur.
26:13I've known you for 10 minutes.
26:14That's a good one, mate.
26:15Good one.
26:15Can you hurry up?
26:16I need to go to the grease, man.
26:17I'm going to make a sale.
26:19One second.
26:20The buffet is now open.
26:24Top Yacht.
26:24Have all the cocktails.
26:25It's happy hour, guys.
26:27What were you saying, sorry?
26:29I don't really have anything to say, to be honest.
26:31All right.
26:31Go and get us a drink, then.
26:33Wow.
26:33Yes, old boy.
26:34None of that hit in any way.
26:36That was better.
26:37Nothing they said hit.
26:38Yeah, but that was better.
26:38Go and get us a drink.
26:39Nothing.
26:40That hit a little bit.
26:41I appreciate it, champ.
26:42Yeah, all the best.
26:43All right.
26:44Thanks, champ.
26:44Ooh, that was such an unbelievable waste of time.
26:49Ooh, what do you think is going to happen next?
26:51Because I don't know what happened there.
27:02Do you think we should get another dog?
27:03I agree.
27:05Do you think we should get...
27:05If we do, though, should it be a great day?
27:07Yeah, it's more than likely a great day.
27:09Michael, Sally, and their sons, Jake and Harry.
27:13Come on, lie down.
27:14No.
27:18No.
27:21Good luck weaving that.
27:24There we go.
27:28Oh, poor Bonnie.
27:32Is this comfy?
27:33Yeah.
27:35Move up.
27:38Good girl.
27:40On Sunday night, TV's most well-travelled piano was back on the road again,
27:45but this time at an airport.
27:47Well, I won't be able to listen to any of it because
27:50the way rainbows are on the airport is that fast.
27:54You've got no chance.
27:54You've got no chance, have you?
27:56I'd say, can't I just listen to it?
27:58No, no, come on.
27:59I need to be in the executive lounge.
28:00I want to get my money's worth.
28:02Come on.
28:03Do you ever picture yourself playing the piano?
28:07All the sound.
28:09Yeah, I'd be one of those extra people.
28:11Yeah.
28:20For our next arrival, this trip to Heathrow will be a return journey.
28:24He's blind.
28:25Yeah.
28:25My name is Chapman, I am 14 years old.
28:28Hi, Chapman.
28:29To be so young and gifted, I wouldn't know what that's like.
28:31Lovely to meet you.
28:32Hello, Chapman.
28:32Hello.
28:33I'm Claudia.
28:34Please come and have a seat.
28:36Got a bit of a crowd already.
28:37I am.
28:38Yeah, perfect.
28:39Claudia shouldn't be in a blazer and slacks like that in an airport.
28:42She needs to be shorts and t-shirts.
28:46Yeah.
28:46Really.
28:46Depending where you're going.
28:48Or a velvet trackie.
28:49Yeah, track suit, that kind of caper.
28:51Tell me about what you love about the piano.
28:55I love the applause and encouragement.
28:57Oh, obviously we like to play to an audience.
28:59It's not just for him, he likes to entertain other people.
29:02Love that.
29:02He was born blind and having complex speaking and learning disability.
29:08How mega, though, that he's found music like that.
29:10That's his calling, that, isn't it?
29:12Five, four, three, two, one.
29:16Drop it like it's hot.
29:18Did you say drop it like it's hot?
29:20Oh my god.
29:21I like Chapman already.
29:23He is a very happy boy.
29:25God, he plays drums and all.
29:26You used to do that, didn't you, Helena?
29:28What, drop it like it's hot?
29:30No, play the drums and annoy everybody.
29:32Oh, right.
29:32In Asia, a lot of blind children don't have opportunity to learn the music.
29:38Why is that?
29:39So we moved from Hong Kong because the UK has so much to offer in terms of music
29:45and supporting resources for disabled children.
29:48So they've completely upped stakes and moved to the UK
29:53just so Chapman can have more opportunities.
29:56What else?
29:56Swimming.
29:58Yeah, he really likes swimming.
29:59That's so cute.
30:00At the time when we thought everything is moving to a positive direction,
30:05we don't allow him to swim anymore.
30:07Oh, why?
30:07Why?
30:09Because the hearing is getting worse.
30:11They say the hearing is getting worse?
30:12Yeah.
30:13Oh, man.
30:14God, the hearing, he can't...
30:15How is he going to play the piano if he can't hear?
30:17He used to have extremely sharp ears
30:23and it brings all the music to him.
30:25But we start to realise that his hearing is deteriorating.
30:30Oh, his dad's struggling here.
30:32He's going to be deaf and blind.
30:34Oh.
30:36It's a tannoy.
30:37Actually, it's a public address system.
30:39Tannoy is a brand maker.
30:41Wake up.
30:42Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
30:45Welcome aboard Chapman's Airline.
30:48Aye, yes, yeah, man.
30:50Buckle in, you larks.
30:51I'm going to take you on a ride.
30:52This is the flight to my hotel.
30:54The hustling and bustling city of Hong Kong.
30:56Cabin crew, please be prepared for take-off.
30:59Fasten your seatbelts, exactly.
31:01Good lad.
31:03You crying?
31:04I don't know.
31:08Oh, he's got fast fingers.
31:10Oh, my God.
31:14Look how intricate and fast that is.
31:15He's not even playing for music, Daniela.
31:17This is all from memory.
31:19I've never, ever seen someone play the piano as quick as that before.
31:23I didn't know that the keyboards moved this fast.
31:28For once, make your speech less.
31:31You see when you do that?
31:32Mm-hmm.
31:33Love it.
31:33I'm soldier dog.
31:34Love it.
31:39Oh, there.
31:40Oh, God.
31:40God, where are you?
31:41That's what he's thinking about in his head, the rush hour in Hong Kong.
31:49Mm, beautiful.
31:56Smashed it.
31:57That was unreal.
31:58Go on, Chapman.
31:59We'll give you an applause.
32:01And he loves the applause.
32:03He is mad talent, that.
32:07Are you happy with that?
32:08Yeah.
32:09Yeah, I'm happy with that.
32:12Me being a dad myself, your kid's achievements, like how mega is that?
32:17Yeah.
32:17You know, especially against all the odds.
32:20I don't think I'd ever be able to learn to play the piano at a high level
32:24because I've got very small hands.
32:26But little children can play the piano.
32:28Good for them.
32:33Nat always calls me up about my language in front of Ezra.
32:37He always goes, Ellie, come on now.
32:40Virgin ears.
32:41Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
32:43Anyway, this morning, there were a massive, big, buzzy bee in our kitchen.
32:50And I was like, look Ezra, look, buzzy bee, buzzy bee.
32:53And Nat were like, buzzy bee.
32:55The next thing you know, the bee dive bombs Nat while he's eating his breakfast.
33:00He jumps up like this and goes, fuck off, fuck off, like that.
33:07I could not believe it.
33:11And I said, Nat, virgin ears.
33:16I couldn't wait to get that in there, could you?
33:18I could not wait to get it in.
33:20You were buzzing.
33:23I'm more buzzing than that bee.
33:24But I could get one up on Nat for virgin ears.
33:27On Saturday, a celebrity chef was out of the tent and living her best life on ITV.
33:34This is the most charming program.
33:35I caught an episode of it last week.
33:38It's super relaxing.
33:40You look very colourful today, like Pruleaf.
33:42Yeah?
33:43Yeah.
33:43Was she used to live in London or she had a place?
33:46She's posh.
33:47Because I used to run her around the cave.
33:50You found Prue in your cab?
33:52Yeah.
33:53I'm Prueleaf, cook, caterer, cookery school founder and writer of 16 cookbooks.
34:02She's got quite a portfolio, hasn't she?
34:03Very stylish.
34:04This series is all about the things that really matter to me.
34:08Family, time, food and friends.
34:11Food being number one.
34:13That's all that food.
34:16Friends, family.
34:20Prue's not at the top for me.
34:22Really?
34:22Really.
34:23No.
34:24I really like her.
34:25But you can't beat Dame Mary Barry.
34:28You can't.
34:29Who'd win in a fight, Mary Barry or Prueleaf?
34:31Delia Smith.
34:32She's off her head.
34:33My first recipe today is deviled kidneys on toast.
34:38Oh no.
34:39Oh god, I won't like this.
34:40I love it some of this.
34:41Yeah, Somalis, we like kidneys, don't we?
34:44We love that.
34:45We love their kidneys.
34:46Mum eats it all the time.
34:48Yeah, a little bit of lye and kidneys.
34:50So these are kidneys on toast, deviled kidneys.
34:54Deviled generally means very spicy.
34:57There's got to be garlic on them as well.
34:59Oh, that's a total taboo for you, isn't it, garlic?
35:02It looks like there's a knob of butter there too.
35:05I can't think of anything worse.
35:07A knob of butter and garlic?
35:09Yeah.
35:10Good god.
35:10To prepare the kidneys, slice them in half.
35:15So that they retain their kidney shape.
35:17Because you want to know that it is kidney.
35:20Always remind yourself of exactly what you're eating.
35:23Mix together 50 grams of soft butter.
35:26See, butter, that's me gone.
35:28Right, butter's nice.
35:29Hopefully the butter will cover everything up.
35:31One teaspoon of cayenne pepper.
35:33Oh, you can halve that for me.
35:35You don't like anything spicy, do you?
35:37No, I'm a delicate palate.
35:39And a little bit of Worcester sauce.
35:42Oh yeah, love that.
35:43We'll have the Worcester sauce, that'll do.
35:44This is all to cover up the taste of the kidneys.
35:48I don't know why offal is so out of fashion.
35:50I'm there with you, Drew.
35:52Not on Jenny's watch, is it?
35:54It is definitely, Drew, it's not on my watch.
35:57I had to live a sandwich as well the other day.
35:59Put the kidneys in the bed.
36:01It's a fucking disgusting.
36:03On the toast with the spiced butter.
36:09Oh, look at the juices drizzling it.
36:12You do that with your bread, don't you?
36:13Yeah.
36:14And now the bread is soaked with the juices.
36:16Oh.
36:17Very delicious and pretty quick to do.
36:19Oh, see, doesn't that look nice now?
36:21It doesn't look that bad.
36:22I'd love the fucking bread.
36:24Oh, I'd love everything.
36:25That's great.
36:26I'd even lick me plate.
36:27That's great.
36:28I'd scrape that into the bin.
36:29You don't know what good food is, you laddo, Jenny.
36:33I just don't fancy eating some fuckers insides.
36:44Inca Philly.
36:45Oh, we've started putting a bit of paint on the walls too this week, haven't we?
36:48Yeah.
36:50I'll do the undercoat, you'll do the top, is it?
36:53Oh, you've got all your PPE on, have you?
36:54I have.
36:55Dave and his wife, Shirley.
36:58Ah, that obviously, no, because you've had your hair done.
37:00You don't want the dust going into your hair.
37:02Well, no.
37:04My hair was stinking rubbing down.
37:07He's fascinated with rubber, he is.
37:09He noticed that.
37:10Did we all.
37:13On Sunday night, there were more lads looking for love on BBC Three.
37:18I'm sorry, I'm never kissing anyone first.
37:20I always know your name, where you live, what you do for a living, your hobbies.
37:25Have you brushed your teeth?
37:26Yeah, that too.
37:27I can't remember mine and Josh's first kiss.
37:29It makes you feel a bit sick, actually.
37:31I can't remember mine and Callum's.
37:34That's because you were pissed.
37:35I was.
37:37I remember.
37:38Oh, yeah, you were there.
37:39I watched it.
37:40Oh, that makes me feel sick.
37:43Welcome to I Kissed a Boy.
37:52Back to a bit of boy on boy, Padders.
37:54Lovely.
37:55Me and Nat used to kiss.
37:57We don't.
37:58You do kiss at first and then it wears off.
38:06There's a nice looking boy, look.
38:07Oh, I'm looking at one of them tops on Temo the other day.
38:10Hi, Jordan.
38:11I currently live in Manchester, but I'm from a little village near the Lake District.
38:14Oh, Jordan.
38:16The Lake District is lovely, to be fair.
38:18But he still moves to Manchester.
38:20Yeah, because he might have been the only gay in the village in the Lake District.
38:25What village is that?
38:26You've got a point there, Jordan, to be fair.
38:30I'm Jack.
38:30I'm from a teeny weeny village outside of Wigan.
38:33I love Jack's outfit.
38:35Famous for their pears and pies.
38:37People think I'm a demon twink and I'm not a demon twink.
38:39Demon twink.
38:40I've never heard of one.
38:41Who the hell's a demon twink?
38:43Mel's never called me a demon twink.
38:44She's called me a twat.
38:45I don't know if that's the same thing.
38:47I'm just a regular twink, like that's what it is.
38:49So you've got your twinks, your otters and your bears.
38:52All different types of guys.
38:53Twink, skinny people.
38:55Otter, skinny but hairy.
38:57Bear, hairy but big.
39:03Right, they're going to walk up and smush.
39:11You like walking from half a mile away?
39:12Yeah.
39:13Yeah.
39:20They don't know each other at all.
39:21No.
39:26I'm Jordan.
39:27I'm Jack.
39:29Imagine if he did that with every interaction.
39:32Like what would my mechanic do if I went up to him and did that?
39:36You could get him a two for three bottle.
39:38Jack's a good looking boy.
39:40Well, there's also other good looking boys.
39:41So I'm not ruling anything out of anyone.
39:44They have only had one kiss at the start.
39:46That doesn't automatically pay you off for life, does it?
39:50You've got to peruse the menu before you decide what you're eating.
39:54Well done, old boys.
39:56Welcome to the Maserere.
39:58The Maserere?
39:58That's somebody's toilet when it makes a noise.
40:01Oh no, that's the Maserere.
40:04I have organised a VIP area.
40:08The secret garden.
40:10Oh yeah.
40:11Waiting there tonight will be a gorgeous new boy
40:16who's hoping to make a connection with one of you.
40:20Can't believe we're getting some fresh sauces already in the Maserere.
40:23Later on, we caught up with the boys trying to decide
40:26who got to go into the secret garden.
40:29I had to get out.
40:30Sorry.
40:33Or at least Jack would go.
40:34Go on, Jack.
40:35He's obviously not that keen on Jordan then.
40:37But he's only saying that because he knows Jordan is potentially going to say it.
40:41I'm hoping to get to know people.
40:43If he's a fitting, I'll have him.
40:45If he's not, I'll bring him back to you.
40:47Oh, will you now?
40:48I'll go, you selfish git.
40:50Exactly.
40:51You've got your pick of the day
40:53and you're still not happy you want the secret garden as well.
40:55You're not fucking greedy.
40:56I vote for you.
40:57I vote for you.
40:58You've got a scientific future.
41:00I like playing back that.
41:02Jack, babes, you go in.
41:03Oh, Jack's going in.
41:04Yes, he's going.
41:05Go on, Jack.
41:06Love you.
41:06Love you.
41:07Love you.
41:07Bye.
41:08Bye.
41:09Jordan looks gutted.
41:10Yeah.
41:11Hi, my name is Callum and I live in North West London.
41:13We're like Callum, yeah?
41:15Callum's fit.
41:15Come take a seat in the Hummer, eh?
41:17Yeah, in the Hummer.
41:18Dangerous.
41:19How are you?
41:20I'm good, thank you.
41:20How are you?
41:21What's your name?
41:21Jack.
41:25Unreal.
41:28Well, if that is an icebreaker, I don't know what is.
41:31Just sit on the floor.
41:32Fuck it.
41:34Oh, how happy.
41:36Hello.
41:36How are you?
41:37Yeah.
41:37This is Callum.
41:38Callum, nice to meet you.
41:40Is Jordan going to take this?
41:42Did you kiss?
41:43No.
41:44No.
41:44No.
41:45Why did you just kiss now?
41:49Oh, Jordan doesn't like it, does he?
41:50Yeah, but Jordan's not so happy now.
41:53I'll kiss you.
41:57Oh, what are they going to do in front of everyone?
42:04In front of everybody.
42:05Oh, man.
42:06I couldn't take that.
42:10Wow.
42:15Paige wouldn't even kiss me when Father Anthony went,
42:18you may now kiss the bride.
42:20Phaedra's like, yeah.
42:22We always say night-night, though.
42:23Kiss night-night.
42:24We always do, yeah.
42:25Always.
42:26Even when I'm going with him.
42:28Yeah.
42:28Well, when I'm out with him.
42:30Yeah, I'm still going to kiss night-night.
42:32Because I'll rage.
42:32I won't threaten he pops his clogs in the night.
42:40Do you know what I've got a really strong feeling about?
42:43That Jimmy and Ava are going to have like a dead hybrid,
42:46but strong accents.
42:47You know, yes, it's going to be Northern,
42:49but there are going to be strings of Essex stroke Cockney.
42:54Yes.
42:54Pete and his little sister Sophie.
42:57He was doing the register today.
42:58He sat me and Paige down.
43:00He went, right, I'm going to do the register.
43:01Boys and gills.
43:04Because of Paige's accent.
43:06Boys and gills.
43:10I'm like, all right.
43:12I like it when he goes, please may I have a glass of water?
43:16Yeah.
43:17There we go, some water.
43:19Just going to do the register, right.
43:20Boys and gills.
43:29Thank you, dearest.
43:30Got it?
43:31Yeah.
43:37Oh, I don't do corners.
43:38I just shoved it in the middle.
43:41I don't do corners at all.
43:43Good morning.
43:44Welcome to breakfast with Charlie State and Naga Manchetti.
43:47You've got like a Naga Manchetti hairstyle, haven't you, I think.
43:51It's what I've been going for.
43:53The new Pope will celebrate his first mass today,
43:56hours after he was elected by his fellow cardinals.
43:59Oh, the new Pope, Ron.
44:01Crikey, getting him straight to work.
44:04I'm sick of hearing about the Pope.
44:06I didn't even know we had a Pope.
44:07Who even is the Pope?
44:09Robert Prevost, who's taken the name Leo XIV.
44:13If you were Pope, what name would you choose?
44:16Robert DeLiro.
44:20You wouldn't say.
44:22You wanted to be known as Pope Al Pacino.
44:25Don't be silly.
44:26When the white smoke finally came, down below, the crowd went wild.
44:30Female moment!
44:32Eh, the real nuns?
44:34I've never seen nuns so excited before.
44:36All the nuns are like, yes, that's my guy!
44:39As tens of thousands more people poured into the square...
44:43Look at this.
44:44...the Vatican band performed.
44:46The Swiss Guards, you sure?
44:48Are they?
44:49Oh, were they Swiss then?
44:51Not Swiss.
44:52Oh.
44:52Swiss.
44:55There he is!
44:57Nothing quite like the Pope, is there?
44:59One minute, you're just totally unknown.
45:01And then the next, everyone knows you.
45:02Everybody knows you, yeah.
45:04I mean, that is the promotion of a lifetime, isn't it?
45:07Dio che ci ama a tutti, incondizionalmente.
45:11He speaks about four languages, apparently.
45:14Oh, he's a clever man.
45:15That's what you know you're doing a lot,
45:16because they don't even have the microphone on the stand.
45:17They get a blow to hold it for you.
45:19That's what I'm saying.
45:20And it's chrome.
45:23That is shiny, boy, isn't it?
45:25It's good that he's got progressive views, and that's what we were voting for.
45:28That's what we need, progression in the church.
45:32That's nice, progressive views.
45:33Do you reckon you'd give your job to a lady then at some point?
45:36That'd be nice.
45:37That's not that progressive.
45:38The Vatican has now released images of Pope Leo XIV, thanking those who elected him.
45:44I hope the Pope does some good changes for the best.
45:50Is he our Pope for the North East as well?
45:52Fuck knows.
45:53I'm not religious, am I?
45:55I'm not a religious person.
45:57You're not, though.
45:57Don't say I don't believe, but I think I'll wait until the time comes.
46:03Yes.
46:03Then you'll find out.
46:04Then find out.
46:07We're soon now, darling.
46:09Well, I hope you won't know soon.