Bad Thoughts ｜ Tom Segura’s Mom Reviews His New Series ｜ Netflix
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TVTranscription
00:00C'mon in here.
00:09I have a show coming out.
00:11So I've set up a screening for you.
00:13Why?
00:14Because I don't know if you know this.
00:16You're my mother.
00:17You're going to hold this.
00:19As you're watching what you're watching,
00:21if you like it, you go to the plus.
00:24Okay.
00:25If you don't like something, you go like this.
00:27Okay.
00:27And if you're like, man, I would turn this off
00:30if I were watching it at home,
00:32you hit the red button.
00:33Okay.
00:34And I'm going to be honest, no?
00:35Completely honest.
00:36Okay.
00:37Here we go.
00:40New city, new target.
00:44So far I like it.
00:46It's a job.
00:47Follow your rules.
00:51I only have one.
00:53No women, no children.
00:56Ah!
00:56Oh, fuck.
00:59Oh my God.
01:00Maybe she's okay.
01:01Ah!
01:03This could not have gone better.
01:05Rule number two.
01:07Never lose your cool.
01:09No!
01:10Oh my God!
01:12So much shit!
01:13Ay, qué asco, por Dios!
01:17Ay, no!
01:18Tommy, qué atroz!
01:19I already know it's not good,
01:22but I'm going to act like I don't know.
01:25Ay, qué horror.
01:26Ay, Tommy, qué asco.
01:28Ay, qué horror.
01:29No, this, this is not for real, no?
01:32What do you mean?
01:33Tommy, that's not funny.
01:34This is so disgusting.
01:36I am beyond vomit.
01:37Well, this next one is a sweet story.
01:41No, it is, it is.
01:42Nothing like that, huh?
01:44Nothing like that, I promise.
01:45Our residents, they don't have much time.
01:48Ow!
01:50So this is cute.
01:51It's cute.
01:52I don't know what this man is doing,
01:55but he's incredible.
01:58Licking my ass.
02:00Licking.
02:01I come so hard.
02:03That one is okay.
02:05Even when she was eating his ass.
02:06She was eating his ass?
02:08Yeah.
02:08Ah, Tommy.
02:09If I was police, I'd take you to jail.
02:11For making that?
02:12Yes.
02:13If an Italian guy was like,
02:15come over here and lick my poto,
02:16you wouldn't?
02:16Ah!
02:17Thank God I have a glass of wine with me.
02:19This next one is really about, like,
02:21a transformation.
02:23Try not to think of it as a commitment to a gym,
02:25but a commitment to yourself.
02:28And your penis keeps growing.
02:30Yeah.
02:30Ah!
02:32Ah!
02:32I can't throw.
02:34Ah!
02:35What do you think?
02:36It's an insult to the humanity.
02:39To humanity.
02:41You can be a good comedian
02:43without being that disgusting.
02:47But this was a dream to make this.
02:48Swear to me you are not doing this.
02:49That's the first episode.
02:50I cannot tell people
02:52that this is my son.
02:53You know what?
02:54You're an orphan.
02:55These stories and about 10 more
02:57come out in a few weeks.
02:58Are you totally serious?
03:00I'm totally serious.
03:01I'm not kidding you, Tommy.
03:02It's not even funny.
03:02But they spent a lot of money making it.
03:04All right, Tommy.
03:05Pay them back.
03:05Pay them back?
03:06It's going to be released around the world.
03:08Are you out of your mind?
03:09Well, that's kind of the idea.
03:14Cancel it.
03:15Erase it.
03:16Thanks, Mom.
03:18I'm glad you love the show
03:19because it's coming out May 13th.
03:21No, I don't love the show.
03:23I make it very clear.
03:39I'm glad you're over.