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  • 3 days ago
Full Episode of How "Not" to Date Your Neighbor
Transcript
00:00:00THE END
00:00:02THE END
00:00:04THE END
00:00:06THE END
00:00:08See? I told you I look better here, didn't I?
00:00:10Yeah, yeah, you're right.
00:00:12Of course I'm right.
00:00:14I know what's best for you, baby.
00:00:22Oh, that's work. Gotta go.
00:00:24Oh, okay.
00:00:26What?
00:00:28Oh, um, nothing. It's just
00:00:30I thought you said you took the day off so you could help me move in.
00:00:34Well, you know if I don't work, then I don't get paid.
00:00:36And if I don't get paid,
00:00:38how am I supposed to afford those fancy dinners I take to Ottawa?
00:00:40Right.
00:00:42Speaking of,
00:00:44as of next week, we'll have been dating
00:00:46a whole year.
00:00:48Maybe we could do something.
00:00:50Well, we've been going out on dates
00:00:52for about a year.
00:00:54That's what I said.
00:00:56Well, that's not exactly what you said.
00:00:58I mean, you're not looking for anything serious.
00:01:00Right?
00:01:02What?
00:01:04Well, I mean, I'm trying to start my business
00:01:06and you're waiting on a phone call from the library.
00:01:08I think that we're good as is.
00:01:12I mean, we don't have to put a label on anything.
00:01:14Right, babe?
00:01:16Yeah.
00:01:18Right.
00:01:19Yeah.
00:01:20Okay.
00:01:21Well, I gotta go.
00:01:22So, I will see you later.
00:01:23Mm-hmm.
00:01:35Adam!
00:01:36Oh, shit.
00:01:38Perfect.
00:01:39Wonderful.
00:01:40Oh, shit.
00:01:42Perfect.
00:01:43Wonderful.
00:01:44Okay.
00:01:45Ma'am, I need you to stop what you're doing and put your hands in the air.
00:02:05Hands above your head.
00:02:06What the hell?
00:02:07Ma'am, if you don't cooperate, I'm gonna be forced to grab you.
00:02:09No, no, no, wait, wait.
00:02:10I'm not breaking in.
00:02:11This is my apartment.
00:02:12I live here.
00:02:13It's like three.
00:02:14What are...
00:02:15What are you doing?
00:02:16Oh, my God.
00:02:17I'm asking you for breaking and entering.
00:02:18Oh, my God.
00:02:19This is my apartment, you lunatic.
00:02:20I live here.
00:02:21Well, do you have documentation to prove that?
00:02:23Dad, check my phone.
00:02:24The lease is in my email.
00:02:25All right.
00:02:26We'll see about that.
00:02:27Email, huh?
00:02:28Where do I look?
00:02:29What do you mean?
00:02:30It's right at the top.
00:02:31Huh?
00:02:32What do you mean?
00:02:33It's right at the top.
00:02:34Huh?
00:02:35What do you mean?
00:02:36It's right at the top.
00:02:37Huh?
00:02:38Oh, would you look better?
00:02:39Yeah.
00:02:40Okay.
00:02:41Can you uncuff me now, please?
00:02:52For the record, credit card works better.
00:03:02Welcome home.
00:03:03Who are you?
00:03:04Jake.
00:03:05Apartment D.
00:03:06Nice to meet you, neighbor.
00:03:10And you are?
00:03:13Noel.
00:03:14Pleasure, Noel.
00:03:15Well, if you need a cup of sugar or a get-out-jail-free card in order to find me.
00:03:20How about an apology?
00:03:22For what?
00:03:23Protecting and serving?
00:03:25That's kind of my job.
00:03:27Oh, so your job is being an impulsive asshole who goes around cuffing innocent people?
00:03:31See you around, neighbor.
00:03:32You wish, asshole.
00:03:33Jerk.
00:03:34Who the hell does he think he is?
00:03:35You're under arrest.
00:03:36I live here.
00:03:37I live here.
00:03:38Hi, I'm Shelley.
00:03:39Tiki!
00:03:40I'm so glad you answered.
00:03:42I just wanted to check in with you.
00:03:43I miss you.
00:03:44It's been so long.
00:03:45I miss you too, Aunt Shelley.
00:03:46Jake, I know these past few years have been hard for you.
00:03:47I'm so glad you answered.
00:03:48I just wanted to check in with you.
00:03:49I miss you.
00:03:50It's been so long.
00:03:51I miss you too, Aunt Shelley.
00:03:52Jake, I know these past few years have been hard for you, but your parents wouldn't want
00:03:53you to live this way.
00:04:06You're practically a recluse at this point.
00:04:07I'm friends.
00:04:08Thank you, Aunt Shelley.
00:04:09No powers, but you're not in a while.
00:04:10I'm confused.
00:04:11Yeah.
00:04:12This is not a good way.
00:04:13You're a bad guy in the world.
00:04:14What are you doing?
00:04:15I'm sorry.
00:04:16I know you're doing that.
00:04:17What are you doing?
00:04:18I'm sorry.
00:04:19I'm sorry.
00:04:20point. I'm fine, Aunt Shelley, really. How about I come by? I can bring this lovely woman you need
00:04:25to meet. She's the daughter of my friend from Swim Aerobics. No, uh, don't do that. I'm actually
00:04:30seeing someone. You are? Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. Didn't know if it was serious, but she
00:04:38just moved in, so, uh, no need to set me up. Oh, well, I can't wait to meet her. I'll pop by sometime.
00:04:44No, don't do that. She's, uh, shy. Nonsense. Ha!
00:04:58Aunt Shelley, I have to go.
00:05:04What are you doing in here? I heard screaming. I thought you were in trouble.
00:05:09Oh, so it's okay for you to break in, but not me? Listen, I only came to help, but clearly you don't
00:05:14need me, so I'll just leave. Wait, no, no, no, no, leave me! There's a spider.
00:05:24Uh, is that what all the festival's about? Yeah, I just can't. Here, I'll squirt him out.
00:05:44The spider now lives in a tree outside your window.
00:05:49I thought you were gonna, um, thank you.
00:05:55Truce?
00:06:00Look, I'm sorry about earlier. Honestly, I thought you were trying to rob the place, and
00:06:05my training kicked him.
00:06:13Yeah, truce.
00:06:15You were right, though. I was being an asshole.
00:06:19Usually, when I'm cupping the innocent, it's consensual.
00:06:23You're cute when you're flustered.
00:06:30I'm not, I'm not flustered.
00:06:33You sure about that?
00:06:41Um, I'm seeing someone.
00:06:44Congratulations.
00:06:45Okay, yeah, so stop flirting.
00:06:48Me? Flirter?
00:06:49I'm just being a friend.
00:06:52Oh, we're friends now?
00:06:53I would say so, yeah.
00:06:55I saved your ass twice in less than 24 hours.
00:06:57Oh my god, however can I repay you? You want a loan? A kidney?
00:07:01Actually...
00:07:02Seriously? That was a joke.
00:07:04Would you pretend to be my girlfriend?
00:07:07What?
00:07:10Look, um, my aunt's coming to town, and I might have accidentally told her I'm seeing someone.
00:07:17So you lied?
00:07:18Potato, patata.
00:07:21So what do you say?
00:07:22I just told you I'm seeing someone, and you're a complete stranger. Why would I do this?
00:07:26But I'm not a stranger, though. I'm your neighbor.
00:07:29You're friendly.
00:07:31Handsome.
00:07:33Charming.
00:07:35Charitable.
00:07:35Lock-picking.
00:07:37Lock-picking, yeah.
00:07:41Look, you would really be doing me a solid.
00:07:44It's a long story about my aunt.
00:07:46She's really worried about me.
00:07:46She thinks I've given up on love or whatever.
00:07:50Have you?
00:07:52Well, that's not the point.
00:07:55Look, I just want to give her peace of mind.
00:07:57All you have to do is come over for one dinner, tell one little white lie, and that's it.
00:08:03You're not hurting anyone.
00:08:05Please.
00:08:07You'd be making a really wonderful woman very happy.
00:08:11She's like a second mother to me.
00:08:13I don't want to disappoint her.
00:08:15One dinner?
00:08:17One dinner.
00:08:22Fine.
00:08:22Great.
00:08:27Am I interrupting something?
00:08:30I don't know.
00:08:31Um, no, this is, um, this is my neighbor, Jake.
00:08:34Yeah, he was, um, helping me with a spider.
00:08:37Babe, I told you a million times, just kill it.
00:08:40If you need help, you can call me.
00:08:45Right.
00:08:46Well, I should probably go.
00:08:50That's a good idea, Jake.
00:08:57I'll see you later, Noah.
00:08:58Hey, Taylor.
00:09:21Reynolds.
00:09:24I'm Reynolds today.
00:09:25Why so formal?
00:09:26I reviewed your closing numbers, and they're not where they should be.
00:09:29We need you getting through more cases per month.
00:09:31I'm working as fast as I can, boss.
00:09:34No.
00:09:35You're fixating all your time on this robbery case, and the chief told you to lay off it.
00:09:41It's not just one robbery case.
00:09:43There's a string of them, and I'm sure they're all connected.
00:09:46And proving that would make you feel like the big hero.
00:09:49It's not about my damn ego, Taylor.
00:09:50It's about justice.
00:09:51Well, I can't run a department that doesn't meet quota.
00:09:56Are you sure you're not singling me out for any particular reason?
00:10:01Excuse me?
00:10:02Are you implying something, Officer Reynolds?
00:10:05I'm not implying anything at all.
00:10:09That's what I thought.
00:10:11Now get back to work.
00:10:12Oh my god, Jake.
00:10:30I am so sorry.
00:10:31You know, this building has gotten a lot more interesting since you moved in.
00:10:35Are you okay?
00:10:36I'm fine.
00:10:37Seriously, I'm fine.
00:10:38Um, I can get the coffee out.
00:10:44Don't worry about me.
00:10:45No, please, please, let me help.
00:10:47I'm really sorry.
00:10:48Just, um, yeah, come to my apartment.
00:10:50It'll just take a few minutes.
00:10:54Whatever you say.
00:10:55Okay.
00:10:56You know, I can just bring this over to you after if you want to, you know, get changed.
00:11:10And this is the magic you're working?
00:11:11I don't think so.
00:11:14It's just baking soda, white vinegar, and water.
00:11:17Works every time.
00:11:17You work at a dry cleaners or something?
00:11:23No.
00:11:25I work in a bookstore.
00:11:27You know the one down on Main Street?
00:11:29How do you like it?
00:11:31Um, it's not exactly my dream, but, uh, it's close, I guess.
00:11:36What's the dream?
00:11:37I just got my MLIS degree to be a librarian.
00:11:42You want to be an archivist?
00:11:44Research how to print children's books at a university library.
00:11:49Specific.
00:11:52How do you get a job like that?
00:11:54Uh, turns out it's not easy.
00:11:57Hence the bookstore.
00:12:03Wow.
00:12:03Have you ever changed your mind about careers?
00:12:07You have an excellent future.
00:12:08Stay and remember.
00:12:11You're flirting again.
00:12:14Can a friend compliment another friend?
00:12:20I think that's your door.
00:12:23Jake?
00:12:24Are you home?
00:12:26I should go.
00:12:31Thanks again.
00:12:32Mm-hmm.
00:12:33What are you doing here?
00:12:53Where were you?
00:12:54Why are you shirtless?
00:12:55Don't worry about it.
00:12:56What are you doing here?
00:12:57I wanted to apologize for earlier.
00:12:59I know you had a rough day, and...
00:13:00like I said,
00:13:02I can't keep you on that robbery case
00:13:03without the chief's permission,
00:13:05but...
00:13:05maybe I can help take your mind off of it.
00:13:09You know?
00:13:09The way I used to.
00:13:13Taylor.
00:13:14We can't do this.
00:13:16Sure we can.
00:13:17We have.
00:13:19Many times.
00:13:20Nothing strange.
00:13:31We tried.
00:13:35You're alright for each other.
00:13:37I can't give you what you want.
00:13:39You don't want me?
00:13:41I don't know what I want, Taylor.
00:13:45I never do.
00:13:47You're an asshole.
00:13:51I'm just being honest.
00:13:52Those are not mutually exclusive traits.
00:13:54You know,
00:13:55you can't close yourself off forever, Jake.
00:13:58One of these days,
00:13:59you're gonna wake up and realize
00:14:00just how lonely you are.
00:14:02Look, Taylor.
00:14:03I'm sorry.
00:14:04I really am.
00:14:06I hope we can still be professional
00:14:08about all this.
00:14:09Look, I know you don't want
00:14:11a relationship, Jake Reynolds.
00:14:12but I will be the girl
00:14:14that changes your mind.
00:14:16Just you watch.
00:14:33Hello, Mr. Saunders.
00:14:36Noel,
00:14:36I need you to dust
00:14:37the top of the bookshelves today.
00:14:39Yes, sir.
00:14:40What an excellent use
00:14:44of my time
00:14:45and talent.
00:15:00Hi.
00:15:02Sorry.
00:15:03I just meant to take my
00:15:04over shirt off.
00:15:06Um,
00:15:07would you mind putting me
00:15:08in the direction of...
00:15:09Health and fitness?
00:15:11Back right.
00:15:14I was actually looking
00:15:15for Toni Morrison.
00:15:18But, uh,
00:15:19it's good to know.
00:15:20I come off
00:15:20as totally insufferable.
00:15:22Oh my God.
00:15:23I am so sorry.
00:15:24I assumed.
00:15:26Has anyone ever told you
00:15:27not to judge a book
00:15:28by its cover?
00:15:31Uh,
00:15:32Toni Morrison
00:15:33is right there.
00:15:36I appreciate it.
00:15:38I'll go this way.
00:15:39Oh, oh, sorry.
00:15:39Okay.
00:15:43Hey, what's up, babe?
00:15:45I got the book
00:15:46that you wanted.
00:15:48Alright.
00:15:48I got the book
00:15:50I got the book
00:15:51on Instagram.
00:15:52I got it.
00:15:53I got the book
00:15:53that you wanted to
00:15:54just leave.
00:15:54I got the book
00:15:54that you wanted to
00:15:54see.
00:15:55You want to be
00:15:56here?
00:15:56All right.
00:15:57I got the book
00:15:57there.
00:15:58I got the book
00:15:58in the book
00:15:58that you wanted to
00:15:59have read her.
00:15:59hello hey hey sorry i know you're at work but um i just heard from the university i'm sorry
00:16:23no i can't talk right now i'm busy right yeah um okay but maybe we could like get a drink after
00:16:29work or something i think it's gonna be a late night brain check
00:16:34oh my god i'm definitely getting a drink
00:16:40oh fuck
00:16:44oh fuck
00:16:56seriously
00:17:07oh god
00:17:10why are you in my apartment i'm trying to break in again
00:17:33actually this is my apartment because i'm really tired i cannot entertain right now
00:17:39i know we're gonna get you home i am home not quite can i take it to your place
00:17:46you smell good thanks come on let's go
00:17:56where are you going oh i got you oh my god you're really strong
00:18:02i try
00:18:03noelle this is my apartment
00:18:13you can stay here tonight though thank you my hero
00:18:20okay okay okay okay um none of that
00:18:27you don't want to kiss me you don't like me
00:18:30i do want to kiss you
00:18:35but not right now
00:18:38why not
00:18:40well because you're extremely drunk and also you have a boyfriend
00:18:45i don't have a boyfriend
00:18:48boys don't boyfriend me
00:18:52what about that guy i met
00:18:54we don't think about it
00:19:05goodnight hello
00:19:13we just fall into each other's arms
00:19:20i don't know
00:19:31i don't know
00:19:40No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:20:10You've been really doing some great work.
00:20:33You should be proud.
00:20:34Keep it up.
00:20:35Damn it.
00:20:38What's got you so worked up?
00:20:39Uh, nothing.
00:20:41It's nothing.
00:20:42Seriously, Jake, that case wasn't assigned to you.
00:20:45There was another robbery on Main Street.
00:20:47They've got to be connected, Taylor.
00:20:51Let me take a look.
00:20:58Did you check for prints on that banister?
00:21:00No, just the front door.
00:21:02I mean, they might match the ones from last week.
00:21:05Good catch, Taylor.
00:21:07I'll get someone around the prints.
00:21:09I'll do it.
00:21:12You get back to your caseload.
00:21:15Is this punishment for the other night?
00:21:17Punishment?
00:21:18We'll be reporting you to the chief.
00:21:20Now get back to work, Reynolds.
00:21:22You're assigned work.
00:21:24Who is it?
00:21:37It's me.
00:21:38Come on in.
00:21:40Um, hey.
00:21:43Hey.
00:21:44How you feeling?
00:21:45Uh, so I'm just coming by to say that I'm sorry about last night.
00:21:50Don't worry about it.
00:21:54Um, yeah, I'm honestly not sure how I even got into your apartment, but, um, thank you for letting me sleep on your couch.
00:22:01Anytime.
00:22:03For the record, I did try to get you back to your own apartment.
00:22:05Oh, my God.
00:22:06Oh, my God.
00:22:07That was a mess.
00:22:08You should have thrown me out.
00:22:11Actually, you were kind of cute.
00:22:16No.
00:22:17Oh, God.
00:22:18No way.
00:22:18No.
00:22:18So, you don't remember anything?
00:22:26No.
00:22:27No.
00:22:27God, isn't that embarrassing?
00:22:30Okay, so, um, I'm going to retreat to my apartment in shame now.
00:22:35What?
00:22:36Hey, I'm making burgers.
00:22:41Want one?
00:22:43Really?
00:22:45They're good hangover food.
00:22:48Yeah, that's amazing.
00:22:55It tastes just like the ones my mom used to make when I was a kid.
00:22:58Is she a good cook?
00:23:00Yeah, she was.
00:23:02I'm sorry.
00:23:04Oh, it's okay.
00:23:06I mean, she passed about ten years ago, but before she got sick, she loved cooking.
00:23:11Burgers, yes, but she also made this pound cake and put this amazing fruit compote on it.
00:23:16I mean, ah, I'm sorry.
00:23:19I tend to ramble, as you've probably noticed.
00:23:22I'm just impressed you can talk about all this.
00:23:27It was a long time ago.
00:23:29It took a while, but, um, no, I like talking about her.
00:23:34Makes me feel like she's still here.
00:23:36I, um, lost both of my parents, as well.
00:23:45Both of them?
00:23:48Yeah, I don't talk about it much.
00:23:52You can tell me.
00:23:54If you want.
00:23:55It's, uh, kind of, um, a heavy story.
00:24:04Hey, it's all right.
00:24:05Um, thanks for, thanks for cooking.
00:24:25Anytime.
00:24:27Um, would your, um, would your pretty friend be okay with us having dinner?
00:24:34I didn't realize you met Taylor.
00:24:37Mm.
00:24:38Yeah, I know.
00:24:39I saw her in the hallway the other day.
00:24:41Um, she's beautiful.
00:24:43Yeah.
00:24:44Uh, she's your, is she your girlfriend?
00:24:47No, she isn't my girlfriend.
00:24:48We just work together.
00:24:50Mm.
00:24:50Okay.
00:24:53We were friends with benefits.
00:24:58But that was a long time ago.
00:25:00What about your guy friend?
00:25:10Oh, Adam?
00:25:12I gotta say, I don't love the way he speaks to you.
00:25:15Is he always so...
00:25:17Protective?
00:25:18I was gonna say controlling.
00:25:21Especially for someone who isn't your boyfriend.
00:25:23Yeah, it's complicated.
00:25:34What was that?
00:25:41First pipe.
00:25:42Oh my god!
00:25:43Get some towels!
00:25:45Yeah, it was crazy.
00:25:47The super says there won't be water or power for, like, at least a week.
00:25:50Maybe two.
00:25:51Jeez, that sucks.
00:25:53Do you need a place to stay?
00:25:55Yeah, yeah, no, that would be great, Adam.
00:25:57A buddy of mine from work, he has a guest house.
00:25:59I'll give you his contact info.
00:26:02Right, right.
00:26:03Thanks.
00:26:04Of course, babe.
00:26:05I told you you could call me anytime you need help.
00:26:13Mm.
00:26:13I soaked up most of the water, but they're gonna need to completely rip out most of your plumbing.
00:26:21Can't get your break, huh?
00:26:24Do you have some place to go?
00:26:27Yeah, no, I'll figure it out.
00:26:28Um, don't, don't worry about me.
00:26:30I'm definitely gonna worry about you.
00:26:31You can't stay here.
00:26:32No, I'll be fine.
00:26:34Look, I don't want to be weird, but I have a second bedroom.
00:26:38Do you want to stay with me?
00:26:42Really?
00:26:44What are friends for?
00:26:50Here we are.
00:26:51I really hope I'm not imposing.
00:26:56Not at all.
00:26:57Seriously, make yourself a home.
00:26:58The place is all yours.
00:27:00Bathroom's right down the hall.
00:27:02Do you have everything you need?
00:27:07Yes.
00:27:11I can't believe you're coming to my rescue yet again.
00:27:21Can I go home?
00:27:28Good, ma'am.
00:27:29Good night, Jake.
00:27:39Oh, sorry.
00:27:40I thought you were sleeping.
00:27:41All good.
00:27:42Need anything?
00:27:43Oh, yeah.
00:27:44I just wanted a glass of water.
00:27:47Want a beer, dude?
00:27:48Ah, why not?
00:28:04What are you reading?
00:28:06Case files.
00:28:07It's been a string of burglaries.
00:28:09Hopper House.
00:28:11That's what we call it when a burglary happens when the home or business is occupied.
00:28:15This one actually happened at a clothing store on Main Street.
00:28:18I'm not too far away from where you work.
00:28:20Oh, jeez.
00:28:22I really want to catch this guy before someone gets hurt.
00:28:26What are you going to do if you catch him?
00:28:29In the act, I mean.
00:28:31In the act?
00:28:32I don't know.
00:28:34Here, let me show you.
00:28:38Okay.
00:28:38If you're being attacked, the first thing you need to do is stay calm.
00:28:47Now, let's say your attacker has a gun.
00:28:52In that situation,
00:28:54you're going to want to do two things.
00:28:58First thing is wait for an opening and then get them off balance.
00:29:09Good.
00:29:10That was really good.
00:29:11Yeah?
00:29:12Yeah.
00:29:13You're a quick learner.
00:29:15Oh, you're a good teacher.
00:29:20Sorry, I'm probably crushing you.
00:29:22I don't mind.
00:29:26Right.
00:29:27Right.
00:29:29Mr. Complicator.
00:29:32Yes.
00:29:35Yes.
00:29:36Thank you for the lesson.
00:29:37It's good.
00:29:38Okay, weirdo.
00:29:42You want another beer?
00:29:43Oh.
00:29:44No, I'm pretty tired.
00:29:47I'm going to go read a book in bed.
00:29:49Sure.
00:29:50Okay.
00:29:51Goodbye.
00:29:51Good night.
00:30:06J.J.
00:30:07Unshelie, what are you doing here?
00:30:09I told you I'd pop by.
00:30:10You must be the girlfriend.
00:30:18That's me.
00:30:19Oh, I'm so happy to meet you.
00:30:21I thought my nephew was going to be alone forever.
00:30:25All right, Aunt Shelly, let her breathe.
00:30:27Oh, of course, of course.
00:30:28Silly me.
00:30:30Please, Aunt Shelly, take a seat.
00:30:32Can I get you a cup of coffee?
00:30:33Yes, please, dear.
00:30:35Okay.
00:30:36Hopefully your lovely girlfriend's manners will rub off on you, young man.
00:30:39Oh, believe me, I'm working on it.
00:30:41I like her already.
00:30:51So, Noelle, I want to know everything.
00:30:54What do you do, sweetie?
00:30:55I work in a bookstore.
00:30:57Don't be modest, babe.
00:30:59She has her MILS degree.
00:31:00That's so impressive.
00:31:02I'm looking for jobs at university libraries.
00:31:05I want to make a real contribution to my field.
00:31:08Ever since my favorite book went out of print when I was a kid, I've just been obsessed with researching and archiving.
00:31:13You don't have to explain it to me.
00:31:14Practically the whole family's in academia.
00:31:17You should have seen Jake's parents' library.
00:31:20It was enormous.
00:31:21Oh, what was the book called?
00:31:23The Runaway Sardine.
00:31:24I've been looking for it for a long time, but it's impossible to find.
00:31:28Oh, I love that book.
00:31:29I used to read it to Liam Oliver all the time when he was growing up.
00:31:32Oh, that's Jake's cousin, my son.
00:31:35You'll meet him at the wedding.
00:31:37Wedding?
00:31:39Jake, you didn't tell her about the wedding?
00:31:42Okay, well, this has been a very nice visit, but we have to go to work, so...
00:31:48Oh, of course.
00:31:48I'll see you after then.
00:31:49We can do dinner.
00:31:51What do you mean?
00:31:53Well, obviously I'm staying over.
00:31:55I came all this way.
00:31:57I'm going to stay a few nights with my nephew.
00:31:59Oh, don't worry.
00:32:00I won't crowd you lovebirds.
00:32:02This is fine, right?
00:32:15Yeah, uh...
00:32:18She needs the spare bedroom.
00:32:19So...
00:32:20We can make a beer here.
00:32:31So...
00:32:31Great.
00:32:37Yeah.
00:32:53So you think we convinced her?
00:32:55Yeah, definitely.
00:32:56Very lucky you.
00:32:58Didn't even have to kiss me.
00:33:00Wasn't so bad the last time.
00:33:02Last time?
00:33:06Uh...
00:33:06Yeah, it's just, um...
00:33:09Okay, I don't know how to tell you this.
00:33:11Um...
00:33:13That night, you came over really drunk.
00:33:15You kind of grabbed my face and kissed me.
00:33:18Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
00:33:19Only for a second, though.
00:33:20And then I pulled away.
00:33:21I didn't want to take advantage of you.
00:33:24It sounds like I took advantage of you.
00:33:26No, it's totally fine.
00:33:28I'm so embarrassed.
00:33:29Hey.
00:33:30Don't be.
00:33:33I liked it.
00:33:34You did?
00:33:36One more time before you go.
00:33:44Someday you'll know.
00:33:52Um...
00:33:53This is okay, right?
00:34:12No.
00:34:13No.
00:34:13Oh, no, stop.
00:34:17Just hold on.
00:34:18Um...
00:34:19I really like you.
00:34:23It's, um...
00:34:24Oh my god.
00:34:25No, no, I'm not rejecting you.
00:34:27I'm not.
00:34:29I like you a lot.
00:34:30You're smart, you're funny, and...
00:34:33I'm really attracted to you.
00:34:35It's just...
00:34:35It's just that, uh...
00:34:39I got a lot of complicated going on right now.
00:34:42And I don't want to mislead you.
00:34:45So I just want to be clear.
00:34:47If you're looking for something casual...
00:34:49I'm your guy, but...
00:34:51I can't give you anything else.
00:34:59Fuck.
00:35:03Why does this always happen?
00:35:06What?
00:35:09Men like me enough to want to be with me,
00:35:11but never to commit to me.
00:35:13No, that's not it.
00:35:14I swear.
00:35:15Oh, let me guess.
00:35:16It's not you.
00:35:17It's me.
00:35:19Yeah, they always say that, too.
00:35:28Good night, Jake.
00:35:29Detective Reynolds.
00:35:43I hate to admit it, but you might be right.
00:35:46What happened?
00:35:47There was another...

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