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🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00All right, peeps, the point of this game is to die.
00:03Ah, okay.
00:04Oh, no, you don't.
00:06No, you kids better stay right where you are.
00:08You're in the kiddie pool because you're babies.
00:10That's right.
00:11So you're going to just stay right there or even go on the slide.
00:13I would never do anything dangerous.
00:16I bet not yet.
00:17Where are you going, little Missy?
00:18Get over here.
00:19I want to just go to the slide.
00:20Is there a problem?
00:21Yeah, fine.
00:21He climbed up the slide.
00:22He climbed up the slide and he didn't go the other way down.
00:25Hey, hey, you got to go on the stairs first, sir.
00:27Okay, I'll come down the slide.
00:28There you go.
00:29I'll come up and go up the stairs.
00:30Hey, you climbed up the slide.
00:32I climbed up the stairs and the slide.
00:33Does that count?
00:35There you go.
00:36This, we can have a nice day here with no deaths or volcanoes or nothing.
00:40Stop stopping me.
00:43Terrence, don't mention the volcano.
00:45What?
00:45They just need to know about the incredibly deadly volcano they shouldn't go to.
00:49There's a volcano?
00:50Terrence, now they're going to definitely want to go there.
00:52Wait, look at this incredibly deadly volcano that we shouldn't go to.
00:54Patrons.
00:56Donut add fucking soda to the...
00:59Volcano.
01:00Volcano.
01:01I read my first word.
01:02Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:04There's half over here.
01:05There's half out.
01:05Get out of that goo, mister.
01:07Drink it, drink it, drink it.
01:08Get out of there.
01:09Get out of there.
01:10Oh, you can't make me.
01:11Do not drink the forbidden Mountain Dew.
01:12Why do they have long arms?
01:14Wait, Peeps, come here.
01:15I have a question for you.
01:16Um, so, which one is your mom and your dad?
01:19Which one?
01:21Well, everyone wants to adopt me most.
01:23Pass.
01:25No one wants to adopt me.
01:27No, Peeps, it's okay.
01:28It's okay.
01:29No, just keep me alive on a set's obligation.
01:31I'm getting out of here.
01:32Come here, dude.
01:32Oh, wait.
01:33What is this?
01:33Wait, where are you?
01:34Oh, I got a sunscreen.
01:36I'm getting out.
01:37Give me my baking sodas.
01:38I've got another baking soda.
01:40Where'd you go?
01:40Where did the important baby go?
01:42I've got another baking soda.
01:45Okay, okay.
01:45I only see Peeps.
01:46Where's that found?
01:47I know.
01:48They're the lesser of the babies.
01:49Hi, I've got some things.
01:51Hey.
01:52Ha, ha, you mean yourself.
01:54I did no such thing.
01:56You're being yourself.
01:57Oh, why?
01:58You just fell over the place.
02:01We're just have some decency.
02:02I'm sorry.
02:03I didn't know.
02:04I got a baking soda.
02:05How do I get up here?
02:05Too much.
02:06I'll just toss it in.
02:07No.
02:08What?
02:09Hey.
02:10We died in.
02:12They're terrible parents.
02:13Man, we're big dead.
02:15Why did we put a volcano?
02:16Yes.
02:17No child support for them.
02:20Ha, ha.
02:20We lost half now on the other one.
02:21Yeah, what was the other one's name?
02:23I can't remember.
02:23I think his name was Pickles.
02:24I don't know.
02:25Yeah, that sounds about right.
02:26Yeah, the other one.
02:27Can't believe we get a weekend with our dad.
02:28Oh, man.
02:29Dad.
02:30In the box.
02:30Yeah, so girls, we know that we were going to take you to the cool new daycare, but about
02:36another six months out before that one's done, so you get to hang out in the box.
02:40We got you a box.
02:42It's a really good box.
02:43It's the best box.
02:44Dad, there was a rat over there, and it looked at me.
02:46Yeah, no.
02:47As long as he's not in the box, then you're safe according to most standards.
02:50Can you go check?
02:51You can just stay in the box.
02:52Okay, can you go check in the box?
02:54Can you guys go check for the rat?
02:55Yeah, because I can't sleep, and I'm just going to make really loud noises that are going
02:58to annoy you.
02:58Okay, if it means that you'll stay in the box, I'll go check for the rat.
03:01We'll stay in the box.
03:01I promise with my life.
03:02Okay.
03:02You told me to do that.
03:03Thanks.
03:04Let's go.
03:05Let's go.
03:05Let's get out of here.
03:06She never said where that rat was.
03:09Get out.
03:09Get out.
03:10It's probably a little farther.
03:11Hey, where was the rat?
03:12Just keep looking.
03:13Keep looking for the rat.
03:13Okay.
03:14Kim, over here.
03:15Come on.
03:15Come on.
03:15I know this place.
03:16My dad took me here once.
03:17Told me not to tell my mom, but I told my mom.
03:20She got mad at me.
03:20Anyway, over here.
03:21Stand right here.
03:22Stand right here.
03:22I don't see any rat.
03:23Hey, wait a minute.
03:24Where is the rat?
03:24I'm in the box.
03:27Here we go.
03:27Here we go.
03:27Here we go.
03:28Got you.
03:29Got you.
03:29Got you.
03:29I like the hammer shower.
03:31Where are you?
03:32Hit me more.
03:32Hit me more.
03:33I'm trying.
03:33I'm trying.
03:34I'm trying.
03:34It's loading.
03:34It's loading.
03:34It's loading.
03:35Come on.
03:35I'll air tag you.
03:36Why does everything take so long?
03:38Not air tag.
03:38Not air tag.
03:39Not air tag.
03:39Let me go.
03:42I'll be good.
03:42I'll be good.
03:43I think you've had enough.
03:44No, you're doing your best.
03:59All right, peeps.
04:00You're doing great.
04:01Hey, Mr. Peeps.
04:02Mr. Peeps.
04:03Dad, can I eat this TNT?
04:05No, you can't eat the TNT.
04:06Dad, explode.
04:08Yeah, what's up?
04:09I'm thirsty.
04:10You're thirsty?
04:11There are some puddles on the ground,
04:13and I think that's probably safe.
04:15You just drink this one over here.
04:18Right over here.
04:19Just drink some of this water right here.
04:20All right, let me drink it with my cup.
04:22Wait, that's not a good cup.
04:23Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:26That's not a cup.
04:26That's a toaster, you silly goose.
04:28We can't have another one, Ty.
04:29Well, where do I get a bucket of water?
04:31I don't know.
04:32I bet you can find one around here.
04:33Hold on.
04:34You stay still away from the spikes.
04:36Oh, man.
04:38Where did you find spikes?
04:39Who put that there?
04:41I don't think you should drink that.
04:43I'm just really thirsty.
04:45Hey, okay, okay, hold on.
04:47Here you go.
04:48I got you the water bucket because I'm a good dad.
04:51You see that, peeps?
04:52This is how you do it.
04:53There you go.
04:53You got a water bucket.
04:54Only one, though.
04:55You're going to have to wait.
04:56No, no, no, no, no.
04:57What are you doing with that?
04:58She's just drinking it.
04:59See?
05:00She's drinking it out of this.
05:01Oh, look.
05:03Whoa.
05:04Okay, cool.
05:05You got it working now.
05:06Never sleep.
05:06These girls are such geniuses.
05:07I mean, come on.
05:09Whoa.
05:09Hey, no, no, no, no, no.
05:10Get out of there.
05:10Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out.
05:12Come on, down.
05:13No, I don't want to come out.
05:15I want to live here for you.
05:15No.
05:16If you aren't coming out, then I'm going to have to leash you up.
05:19Ah!
05:20Ah!
05:20Ow!
05:21Ah, the spikes.
05:22Ow, ow, ow.
05:23Wait, I have an idea.
05:25Kim?
05:25All right, I'm having that happen again.
05:27Amber pearl.
05:28That's a good idea.
05:28You will fence it off.
05:30It's safe now.
05:32I don't know.
05:32I'm just trying to fence this off.
05:33Hold on.
05:34You missed, too.
05:36It's okay.
05:37We're going to...
05:38You lost the kids.
05:39Peeps, why didn't you keep an eye on them?
05:40Why did you keep an eye on them?
05:42Huh?
05:43Because I was in charge of not keeping an eye on them, and you were in charge of keeping
05:47an eye on them.
05:48Oh, can we go all the way up there?
05:49I want to see if I can make it.
05:50Uh...
05:51We'll wait to find out.
05:52Woo!
05:53I made it!
05:54Dad!
05:55I'm on top of the world!
05:56That's nice, honey.
05:57That's very cool.
05:58You're on top of the world?
05:59Yeah!
06:00Wait, where's the top of the world?
06:01You should jump!
06:02Uh, here's...
06:03They're on the crane.
06:04Dad, over here.
06:05I'm on the crane!
06:06I'm on the crane!
06:07What?
06:07No, FF!
06:08Do a backflip!
06:09All right, I got this.
06:10How did she get up there?
06:11All right, uh...
06:12Wow!
06:13It would be super cool!
06:14Woo!
06:14Oh, it didn't do anything!
06:16It didn't work!
06:16Kim, come down here, quick!
06:18Quick!
06:18Come here, we got it!
06:18We got it!
06:18We got it!
06:19We got it!
06:19We got it!
06:19Quick!
06:20Quick!
06:20Kim!
06:21Where are you?
06:22All right, ready?
06:23One, two, three!
06:28Yeah!
06:28Yeah!
06:29One second ago!
06:31I'm telling mom!
06:33Yeah!
06:33No, no, don't tell mom, don't tell mom, don't tell mom!
06:35Come on, Kim!
06:36We're gonna go tell mom!
06:39No, no, no, mom can't, no!
06:40Beeps, stop them!
06:41They can't tell mom!
06:42My dad's got gold, too!
06:43No, mine's got gold, too!
06:45Anyway, oh, uh...
06:46Hi, kids, what are you talking about?
06:47Oh, uh...
06:48Yeah, you guys doing okay in the entire baby cage?
06:50No, we're bored, playing with us!
06:51Nah, we could, but it turns out these go-karts are way more interested, babies, so bye!
06:56Anyway, go!
06:57Woo!
06:58Dark dads don't love us!
07:00I know!
07:00We're gonna last, so we're gonna say hi and bye again!
07:02Oh, this is so much fun!
07:03I should be the absent father sooner!
07:05Over here!
07:05It's the worst!
07:06I can't read, but I'm pretty sure that says one, upside-down one, upside-down one!
07:12It says to activate!
07:14I'm a smart baby, so...
07:15Whoa!
07:16Hey, peeps, they're reading now!
07:18It means that we're good dads!
07:19Oh, Xander, you say grow up so fast!
07:21I mean, let's activate it!
07:21Those mans are not taking credit for our brains!
07:25Uh-uh!
07:25Even though they're our dads, we're gonna...
07:27I think we can!
07:28All right, all right, stop it!
07:29Let's go, let's go, let's go!
07:30Get it!
07:30Oh, course, course!
07:31Whoa!
07:32Whoa!
07:32Get faster cars!
07:33Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't play in traffic!
07:36I wanna drive a faster car, dude!
07:37Let's go, baby!
07:38Let's go, baby, let's go over here!
07:39Wait, baby, you don't have your license!
07:41You don't have your license!
07:42You can't tell me what to do!
07:43Oh, I love dragon!
07:44Oh, look, they're playing mini-golf!
07:46They're gonna be so good, I think, that's my problem.
07:48Whoa!
07:49Oh, the dragon!
07:50Life's a dragon with real fire!
07:51Oh, that was cool!
07:53All right, Kim, Kim?
07:54Yeah?
07:54Oh, we're just gonna talk.
07:55We're just gonna talk some girl talk.
07:57It's girl time, go away!
07:58Oh, we can't be a part of your girl talk car, Peeps, over here.
08:01Yep, we'll be out of this bush!
08:02Do you have gas?
08:04No.
08:05No, like, do you have gas?
08:07We're not checking those diapers!
08:10So rude!
08:11Yeah.
08:12I have child.
08:16Come on!
08:17You know what we can do then, yeah!
08:19Hey, is girl time over yet?
08:20Girl time's not over yet!
08:21What do we do?
08:22Okay!
08:24Peeps, Peeps, you gotta let it happen.
08:25You don't like the process.
08:26Peter said it not sound good!
08:28Dad!
08:28Dad!
08:29Dad!
08:29It's a girl thing you don't understand.
08:30Oh, yes!
08:31Dad!
08:31Dad!
08:32Dad!
08:32Dad!
08:32Dad!
08:32Dad!
08:32Dad!
08:33Dad!
08:33Dad!