Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Oh
00:00:00Oh
00:00:10Keen eyes, quick hands
00:00:12Energize my soul again
00:00:16Gonna see my name in lies
00:00:19Play me with my joystick
00:00:22Wiggle left, jerk it right
00:00:25Sock it in the breath inside
00:00:28Shoot fast, shoot straight, video to the max, one down, two to go, can't stop, I wanna roll, video, I need a record for video, please let me have a record, video, I got to have a record, totally awesome video games, here they come, where they go,
00:00:58humanoid, UFOs, all day, all day, video to the max, one down, two to go, can't stop, I wanna roll, video, I need a record, video, please let me have a record, video, I got to have a record, totally awesome video games,
00:01:28video, I need another record, video, please let me have a record, video, I got to have a record, totally awesome video games, totally awesome video games,
00:01:53I hope I don't spill things and act like a slob, oh my doo-dah day, oh the doo-dah day, oh the doo-dah day, look both ways, camp town, racetrack, five miles long, today's my first day at a new job, doo-dah, doo-dah, hope I don't spill things,
00:02:19look like a slob, oh my doo-dah day, you hoo, maybe you'd like to pull over and sing us a song, oh, you think I have a good voice,
00:02:29I never really thought I had a good voice, oh, well come on over, we'll make beautiful music together, you know,
00:02:37I like fun just as much as the next guy, but, um, it's my first day at the arcade, you work at the video arcade,
00:02:43Jeff Bailey's, yes, I'm helping Mr. Bailey, uh, Jeff, out, why don't you come on over,
00:02:48well, I'd really like to, I mean, the guy can't have too many friends in this life, but I really gotta go,
00:02:54why don't you come on over, come on over, now, there, what do you mean, now, here in your back seat now,
00:03:03look at him, do I really have to go through with this, do you want to get your sorority or not,
00:03:22besides, we don't really have to ball him, we just gotta get his pants down,
00:03:25okay now, girls, I don't have too much time, no, this shouldn't take too long,
00:03:37which one of us do you want first, um, eenie, meenie, miney, moe, for which one shall I go,
00:03:48oh, uh, I'm sorry, you, I'm sorry, luck of the draw, oh, I can take it, but I want to watch,
00:03:59watch, what, why, oh, well, okay, okay, I, I get it, certainly, that's okay with me,
00:04:06hmm, oh, wow, you really turned me on,
00:04:17there's more where that came from, baby,
00:04:21oh, I can't wait any longer, you've got to show me your manhood,
00:04:27oh,
00:04:27ladies, prepare yourself, I would like you to meet, Simba,
00:04:40smile, hey, what, what are you, don't,
00:04:46hey, hey, hey, wait, my pants, my keys, you're not New York Caves,
00:05:02This is your last chance.
00:05:31This is a free drink with the purchase of $5 or more at our beautiful snack bar.
00:05:36You are so full of shit, Jeff Bailey.
00:05:38Jeffy, come over here and play Galactian with me.
00:05:41I just thought it would be way totally bitching if you would play with me.
00:05:44Sorry.
00:05:46Patsy, like, Jeff promised to play me.
00:05:49Oh, God, Connie. Spain's put up that you are.
00:05:52Jeffy never promised you anything, did you, Jeff?
00:05:55Well, ladies, you know I never play these games.
00:05:57Oh, come on, Jeff. I'll do anything that you ask me to. Anything.
00:06:00Please, girls, I can't. I have to keep my relationship with the clientele on a professional level.
00:06:05Excuse me.
00:06:06But I've got a couple of free tokens for you behind the counter.
00:06:10Maybe a little later I'll come by, take a little peek over your shoulder and see how you're doing, okay?
00:06:15Hey, now this is an exciting offer, isn't it, guys?
00:06:20I mean, a free drink doesn't happen every day.
00:06:22Jefferson, are these yours?
00:06:25I belong to Eugene Groby.
00:06:30Well, his pants are here. He, uh, can't be far behind, huh?
00:06:35Eugene, are you all right?
00:06:37Yes, I'm fine.
00:06:38Mr. Bailey.
00:06:39No, no, that's cool. I just, I told you to call me Jeff.
00:06:41Huh?
00:06:42Call me Jeff.
00:06:43Oh, yeah.
00:06:44Yeah, well, I will. Um, I'm so sorry.
00:06:46I'm sorry.
00:06:47I'm sorry.
00:06:48I'm sorry.
00:06:49I'm sorry.
00:06:50I'm sorry.
00:06:51I'm sorry.
00:06:52I'm sorry.
00:06:53No, no, that's cool.
00:06:54I just, I told you to call me Jeff.
00:06:55Huh?
00:06:56Call me Jeff.
00:06:57Oh.
00:06:58Yeah, well, I will.
00:07:00Um, I'm so sorry I'm late.
00:07:01I had a lot of difficulty getting here.
00:07:02This being my first day and all.
00:07:03Hmm.
00:07:04I had a couple problems, as a matter of fact.
00:07:05Are you all right, little Eugene?
00:07:06We left your pants here like we promised.
00:07:07Sorry they got all wet.
00:07:08Oh, no.
00:07:09Oh, no.
00:07:10Oh, no.
00:07:11Oh, no.
00:07:12Oh, no.
00:07:13Oh, no.
00:07:14Oh, no.
00:07:15Oh, no.
00:07:16Oh, no.
00:07:17Oh, no.
00:07:18Oh, no.
00:07:19Oh, no.
00:07:20Oh, no.
00:07:21Oh, no.
00:07:22Oh, no.
00:07:23Oh, no.
00:07:24Oh, no.
00:07:25Oh, no.
00:07:26Oh, no.
00:07:27Oh, no.
00:07:28Oh, no.
00:07:29Oh.
00:07:30Oh, no.
00:07:37Excuse me, brother.
00:07:42I am officially reporting for duty.
00:07:49Brother.
00:07:50Brother.
00:07:51This thing is possessing me.
00:07:54I am losing control.
00:07:56Oh, my God!
00:07:58Jesus, I'm a father!
00:08:00I'm a sinner in the place!
00:08:02Mr. Blast, Mr. Blast!
00:08:18Fingerprints, fingerprints, filthy fingerprints, excuse me.
00:08:26Excuse me.
00:08:36Excuse me, young man.
00:08:38Would...
00:08:39You've got to stop playing the games.
00:08:41You're a disgrace.
00:08:43Excuse me.
00:08:44Sir, would you stop playing the games?
00:08:47Young man, you must listen to me.
00:08:51Hey, hey!
00:08:53I'm sorry, but you're not allowed to have food on the games.
00:09:01No one's ever gotten seven figures on this machine before.
00:09:05Not even me.
00:09:06I don't know if this machine's capable of seven figures.
00:09:09Well, I'm sorry about that, but I work here now,
00:09:12and I find you appear entirely objectionable.
00:09:15Well, I suggest that you just trot on out of here,
00:09:17and come back when you're in better condition to play the game.
00:09:21Let you and me do it to the scientists, okay?
00:09:26Hey, here now!
00:09:27What are you doing?
00:09:28You...
00:09:29You can't do that!
00:09:31Watch me.
00:09:32I am just gonna go get Mr. Jefferson Bailey,
00:09:34is what I'm gonna do.
00:09:35Yeah, you do that.
00:09:37Excuse me, we have an emergency.
00:09:44Is, uh, something wrong with the machine, Dorfus?
00:09:47No, I was just trying to get it over to see what's inside of it.
00:09:50Had a real good game going there, anyway.
00:09:52Interrupt.
00:09:53Wait, yes, sir!
00:09:55I thought he...
00:09:56I...
00:09:57That's okay, Eugene.
00:09:58We know what you thought,
00:09:59but I'm gonna introduce you to Jonathan Andrew McDorfus.
00:10:03Hi, kid.
00:10:04Hi.
00:10:05Eugene, you must remember Dorfus.
00:10:06He graduated last year with me at school.
00:10:08He was our senior class president.
00:10:10You're kidding!
00:10:12He was the senior class president last year?
00:10:14He didn't look anything like this.
00:10:16What happened?
00:10:18Games, kid.
00:10:20Video games.
00:10:25Don't you think you ought to wash your hands first?
00:10:27How come?
00:10:31Uh, excuse me.
00:10:38Oh, my goodness.
00:10:40I'm sorry.
00:10:41It looks like I got my hot dog in your...
00:10:44thing.
00:10:45I mean, I got my wiener in your...
00:10:47Um, um, here.
00:10:49Um...
00:10:54Eugene, get the one that says Oscar Mayer on it.
00:10:56I'm sorry.
00:10:57Oh, dear.
00:10:58I'm sorry.
00:11:01Oh, dear.
00:11:02I'm sorry.
00:11:03Oh, dear.
00:11:04I'm sorry.
00:11:05I'm sorry.
00:11:06I'm sorry.
00:11:07Oh, dear.
00:11:08Come on.
00:11:09Come on.
00:11:30Jacket?
00:11:31Radio
00:11:36Music
00:11:39Arcade
00:11:45Music
00:11:59Idiot
00:12:00Take your position
00:12:02Start the game
00:12:05Music
00:12:11Music
00:12:25Music
00:12:30It's after midnight, you're certain Patchy's in here.
00:12:33Yes I go Joseph.
00:12:35Well I certainly hope you're wrong.
00:12:37I'm not gonna let you break me.
00:12:43Can't let you take me, no.
00:12:46Miss Batman!
00:12:53Oh, I'll save you Patsy.
00:13:02Oh, thank you.
00:13:04Pats just dancing
00:13:07Get up from there Patsy!
00:13:10It's my most embarrassing moment, my Patsy!
00:13:13Never mind all that. Get up, you're going home.
00:13:16Oh, my Patsy.
00:13:18Oh, my Patsy.
00:13:19Excuse me, um, Mr. Rudder, Jefferson Bailey here.
00:13:22I'm sorry if there's been any problem.
00:13:24You're damn right there's a problem here.
00:13:25Just look what's happening with my daughter here, huh?
00:13:27I wanna see the manager!
00:13:28Well, sir, I am the manager.
00:13:30You're not the manager, you're just a punk kid.
00:13:33Uh, my grandfather's the owner and he's out of town.
00:13:36So, in his absence, I have complete power and authority
00:13:39and I am certain that I can assist you.
00:13:41No, feed me that bullshit, kid.
00:13:43You're running a garbage dump in here and I intend to do something about it!
00:13:46Patsy!
00:13:47Out!
00:13:48Go!
00:13:49Hold on!
00:13:50Get out!
00:13:51Get out!
00:13:52Haha!
00:13:53Haha!
00:13:54Haha!
00:13:55Haha!
00:13:56Haha!
00:13:57Haha!
00:13:58Haha!
00:13:59Haha!
00:14:00Haha!
00:14:01Haha!
00:14:02Haha!
00:14:03Haha!
00:14:04Haha!
00:14:05Patsy!
00:14:06I just got off the phone with that Mayor Neville.
00:14:08That lazy no-count.
00:14:09Sorry.
00:14:10He refuses to close that horrible video arcade.
00:14:13Daddy, would you like to get out of my razz, okay?
00:14:15I am laying down the law about that arcade, young lady.
00:14:18Oh, Daddy, that reminds me.
00:14:21Connie and I were, like, going to go shopping at the Bonnarama.
00:14:24Could I have some Billy's then?
00:14:25Pardon?
00:14:26You know, I think you caught it lettuce once or was a cabbage.
00:14:29All right, all right.
00:14:34At least I didn't take them.
00:14:36All right, now, Patsy, we have an understanding.
00:14:39You will not go to the arcade again, right?
00:14:41Daddy, if I want to go to the arcade, like, I am going to go.
00:14:47Okay?
00:14:48Ah, Jeff, Dorfus.
00:14:57Oh, my goodness, thank goodness you're here.
00:14:59Something really strange is happening in the parking lot.
00:15:01There's this van, and it's shaking and rocking.
00:15:04Here, take this, it'll calm you down.
00:15:06Oh, thanks.
00:15:07I didn't know you liked ketchup and cookies.
00:15:12Ketchup and cookies?
00:15:13Eugene, I'm going to put you in charge of finding out what is happening in the parking lot
00:15:17with the van.
00:15:19Me in charge?
00:15:20Yeah.
00:15:22It's only my second day, and I already have a project.
00:15:27Thanks.
00:15:28Remember, whosoever out there may not want to be interrupted.
00:15:36Don't worry, Dorfus.
00:15:37You can count on me.
00:15:38He's such a poonis.
00:15:43Yeah.
00:15:44Poonis?
00:15:45Oh, that was great.
00:16:06Yeah, let's do it again.
00:16:07So, what'd you want to talk about?
00:16:09Well, I heard what you guys did to my new employee yesterday.
00:16:13You should have been there.
00:16:14It was great.
00:16:15I would have given anything to have been there.
00:16:17I mean, I'm just dying to see what that picture looks like.
00:16:20See, we needed a picture of a nerd with his pants down.
00:16:23Come on, ladies.
00:16:24I just got to see what my new employee looks like caught in the act.
00:16:27Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
00:16:30You know that new special video game you've been wanting to play?
00:16:33You show me the picture, and we'll go in there right now and play.
00:16:37Strip video?
00:16:38You got it.
00:16:45Great leg, Eugene!
00:16:49Come on, ladies.
00:16:50Let's go.
00:16:55Come on.
00:16:56Okay.
00:16:57Baby, I came here because I'm ready.
00:17:27I thought I might be able to reason with you.
00:17:28I should have known better.
00:17:29This place is early to be shut down.
00:17:31Patsy, come on in.
00:17:31Okay, Daddy.
00:17:32Now, don't jump.
00:17:32Don't you close us.
00:17:33I can explain what you want.
00:17:34Shut it.
00:17:35Get out of my way, you brats.
00:17:38Move it.
00:17:40I don't want to talk about it, young lady.
00:17:42One way or the other, I'm going to close that place down.
00:17:44God, Daddy, it's like you are so edged.
00:17:46You are turning totally edged.
00:17:47If you would like listen to me every time,
00:17:49I can explain to you that Jeff Bailey is like a totally bitching guy.
00:17:53And I wanted to tell him that I'm watching crisp bows.
00:17:56Look, young lady, you're not too old a tan anymore.
00:17:58And don't talk about your lame-brained cousins that way either.
00:18:00Now, get in the car.
00:18:01What do you want us to do?
00:18:08I don't want you idiots to do nothing.
00:18:13Don't worry, Max.
00:18:15I got an idea.
00:18:16Great.
00:18:16I hope it's a good one.
00:18:25Is my mascara overdone?
00:18:27Max, cut it out.
00:18:30No, really.
00:18:30If it's too much, I can fix it.
00:18:32See?
00:18:35Your mascara is fine.
00:18:37You wouldn't just say that?
00:18:38Max, you look great.
00:18:39Don't worry.
00:18:40What's this?
00:18:41Let me see something.
00:18:41Let me see something.
00:18:42Okay, okay.
00:18:43Okay, okay.
00:18:44God, don't be such a bully.
00:18:46Don't forget.
00:18:47Max, we got to look and act like these video game pinball players
00:18:50so we can check out the place and they won't notice it.
00:18:53Okay.
00:18:53Max, you got it?
00:18:54Uh-huh.
00:18:55You got it?
00:18:55Yes.
00:18:56It's Maxine.
00:18:57I'm going to lay you out.
00:18:59You promise?
00:19:00Come on.
00:19:00Man, I love wheels.
00:19:04I want to get me some wheels.
00:19:07Wait.
00:19:09Stop.
00:19:10I think I've never told you.
00:19:18You got great legs.
00:19:26Not in years.
00:19:29Come here.
00:19:30Okay.
00:19:31You're definitely videoing me, Terry.
00:19:38Love, man.
00:19:40It's love.
00:19:41It's cool.
00:19:42It's groovy.
00:19:44Peace.
00:19:44Peace.
00:19:45Come on, Max.
00:19:47Come on, Maxine.
00:19:48Maxine, let's go inside.
00:19:50Maxine.
00:19:52Oh, yeah.
00:19:54Come on, Maxine.
00:19:55Let's go inside.
00:19:56Wait.
00:19:57Don't leave me like this.
00:19:58Oh, what an animal.
00:20:02Oh, no battle zones.
00:20:08Peace, brother.
00:20:12Peace.
00:20:13What's this, a car?
00:20:14Oh, I want to play this.
00:20:16Oh, looking good, Mama.
00:20:19Is there something you want?
00:20:20Yeah, I'd like to play this game.
00:20:22No, I don't think so.
00:20:23See, no girl's allowed to play my machine.
00:20:26Not really.
00:20:28Sorry, Maxine.
00:20:30I'm going to play.
00:20:31No, I don't think so.
00:20:32See, no guy with ugly shit gets to play my machine.
00:20:37Besides, man, it's busy.
00:20:39I'm only going to be a minute.
00:20:40I love to really get behind the wheel.
00:20:42I drive for a living.
00:20:43Trucks, cars, you name it.
00:20:44It's a cinch.
00:20:45Yeah, it looks like it.
00:20:46Your lady looks like she's been in plenty of accidents.
00:20:48But I don't think you understand.
00:20:52It's my turn.
00:20:54Oh, I get you.
00:20:55Then it's my turn.
00:20:56No, man.
00:20:58You still don't get it.
00:21:01He's next.
00:21:05I think he's trying to tell you the game's tied up.
00:21:08Hey, you get the prize.
00:21:11Give him the flower, Maxine.
00:21:14Spread your love over to that side.
00:21:16Peace.
00:21:16And I'll spread my love over on this side.
00:21:19Peace.
00:21:20Groovy.
00:21:22He's moving.
00:21:23Every morning, noon and night.
00:21:26Got to have him.
00:21:27Peace.
00:21:28Love, sisters.
00:21:30Hey, Arnie, look.
00:21:31It's a Miss Pac-Man.
00:21:33It shows just like me.
00:21:35I think you've got anything.
00:21:38Hey, Arnie, you don't wear more makeup.
00:21:40Forget it.
00:21:41I got to figure it out.
00:21:43Yeah.
00:21:43I know how to make Uncle Joseph real proud.
00:21:47You do?
00:21:48Wow, wow.
00:21:48You ready?
00:21:49Yeah.
00:21:49You listening?
00:21:49Uh-huh.
00:21:50There's no security around here.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53Yeah.
00:21:53So?
00:21:54Yeah?
00:21:54What?
00:21:55We can empty this joint tonight.
00:21:56We'll bust in here and take every machine.
00:21:57Yeah, but if you take out all the games, how's anybody going to play?
00:22:00Hey, cousin Max, you are brilliant.
00:22:04Yeah.
00:22:05And so is Owen and Frank.
00:22:07Let's go.
00:22:07Let's go.
00:22:08All right.
00:22:25Wait, wait, wait.
00:22:26Come back here.
00:22:27Come back here.
00:22:29Wait a minute.
00:22:30My little animal.
00:22:32And they said they were going to steal all the video games.
00:22:35And they said they were going to do it tonight.
00:22:36Jeff, we've got to call the police.
00:22:38No.
00:22:39Not while my grandfather's out of town.
00:22:41I don't want the police to know anything about this.
00:22:43But I got an idea.
00:22:45There's the place.
00:22:52KG, you ready?
00:22:53Ready?
00:22:53Ready for what?
00:22:54Come on.
00:22:54We're going to save Jeff.
00:23:00Oh.
00:23:09Sorry, Dorfo.
00:23:10Just a little further.
00:23:11Straight back.
00:23:12Keep going.
00:23:13Keep going.
00:23:14Keep going.
00:23:15Okay.
00:23:16Okay.
00:23:17Keep going.
00:23:19That's good.
00:23:21Yeah.
00:23:26Listen, Dorf.
00:23:27Let's just go back to the arcade.
00:23:29No.
00:23:30I'll make you some hot dogs.
00:23:31No.
00:23:32Hot dogs and chili.
00:23:33Won't you get up there so we can get some shit on this water guy?
00:23:36So leave the arcade alone?
00:23:38Come on.
00:23:38Don't go.
00:23:38Just get up there.
00:23:39Don't go.
00:23:39Just get up there.
00:23:56Oh, no.
00:23:58Help me.
00:23:59Help me.
00:24:00Help me.
00:24:01She's out cold.
00:24:26Oh, that's a good stuff.
00:24:30Shh.
00:24:39Oh, Eugene.
00:24:41This is your chance to pop your cork.
00:24:45Oh, God.
00:24:45Dorf is telling me a little joke.
00:24:49Dorf is telling me a little joke.
00:24:50Dorf is telling me a little joke.
00:24:51She won't let go.
00:24:52Oh, it's nature telling you it's time for you to get laid.
00:24:57No, no.
00:24:58Not like this.
00:24:58Dorf is.
00:24:59Come on.
00:24:59Help me.
00:25:00Please.
00:25:00Help.
00:25:00Help you?
00:25:01Come on.
00:25:02Quit fighting it, Eugene.
00:25:03This is bigger than one of us.
00:25:04What's that?
00:25:05Oh, baby.
00:25:08It's been so long.
00:25:13Dorf is helping.
00:25:14Oh.
00:25:14Oh.
00:25:16Come on, Eugene.
00:25:17Help.
00:25:17Assert your manhood.
00:25:19Help.
00:25:21Help.
00:25:31Dorf is.
00:25:40Dorf is.
00:25:41Shit.
00:25:41Watch it, lady.
00:25:43Watch your names.
00:25:44Ah.
00:25:46Oh.
00:25:46Jane!
00:25:50Rudder! Shit!
00:25:58Hey, ah!
00:26:16Good! Okay!
00:26:20Great! Hey, Arnie!
00:26:22You think Uncle Joseph would let us keep one of these machines for the den?
00:26:26You know, I think we should put one of these machines
00:26:28right next to the sofa in the den.
00:26:32You ready, number one?
00:26:34What do you think?
00:26:36What do I think?
00:26:38Okay, number one, go.
00:26:40I think your ass is grassing on the second.
00:26:42Right, right, okay.
00:26:46Oh!
00:26:58Some cover, Vivian.
00:27:00Some covers, Vivian.
00:27:02Come on, baby.
00:27:04Don't stop now.
00:27:10Go back to sleep, Vivian.
00:27:12You're having a dream.
00:27:14I was a big boy, and I was just getting started.
00:27:18Take another pill, huh?
00:27:28No, no, stop.
00:27:30Oh, no.
00:27:40Oh, damn, Vivian.
00:27:42Did I tell you to talk to Dr. Michelson about that?
00:27:44No.
00:27:46Oh, no.
00:27:48Oh, no.
00:28:10We did it, we did it.
00:28:12Roy!
00:28:14Uncle Joseph's gonna be proud of us, eh?
00:28:16Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:28What do you want this hour?
00:28:30My name is Jonathan Andrew McDorffis.
00:28:34I needed somebody to talk to, and I knew I could trust you.
00:28:36Oh, it's two o'clock in the morning.
00:28:38What is this?
00:28:39Are you drunk?
00:28:40Drunk?
00:28:41No, I'm not drunk.
00:28:42What?
00:28:43I don't even take mind-altering drugs.
00:28:44Well, sir?
00:28:46Uh, now is the time for safety.
00:28:49Uh.
00:28:50In our country today, uh, if you want to get out safely, you better act now.
00:28:56Do you understand?
00:28:58Hey, what are you crazy?
00:28:59Why are you shouting?
00:29:00Shouting?
00:29:01Am I shouting, Mr. Rudder, down here at the front porch?
00:29:05No, I'm not shouting.
00:29:07I just want my friends.
00:29:08I want all my friends to know that it's safe if they act now.
00:29:17What's happened, Max?
00:29:18How much gas did you put in here?
00:29:19I have one hundred dollars worth.
00:29:21What, do you think this is, a moped?
00:29:23No, that's all I had.
00:29:24Besides, we only have two miles away.
00:29:26Now you're gonna have to go get the gas.
00:29:28Get the gas.
00:29:29No, you get the gas.
00:29:30It's your turn.
00:29:31No, you put the dollar and you get the gas.
00:29:32No, you get the gas.
00:29:33No, you get the gas.
00:29:34You get the gas.
00:29:35You get the gas.
00:29:36We'll both get the gas.
00:29:37No, we'll both get the gas.
00:29:38Right.
00:29:39Okay.
00:29:44Let's go, guys.
00:29:45Those idiots will be back soon.
00:29:46Come on, get us out of here.
00:29:48Look, young man, you're gonna have to stop yelling or I'm gonna call the police.
00:29:51Oh, that'll be necessary, Mr. Orwell.
00:29:53Oh, I'll lower my voice.
00:29:55Oh, shit.
00:29:57Oh, shit.
00:30:05Oh, shit.
00:30:19Eugene and mommy?
00:30:21Hey, Arnie.
00:30:22Yeah.
00:30:23I'm sorry about the gas.
00:30:25Forget about it, Max.
00:30:26Don't worry about it.
00:30:27We fixed it.
00:30:28Come on.
00:30:29Okay.
00:30:30Uncle Joseph's gonna love this.
00:30:31Right.
00:30:32Uncle Joseph's gonna be so proud of us.
00:30:33I'm gonna be Uncle Joseph's right-hand man.
00:30:35Yeah, and I'm gonna be his, uh...
00:30:37Uh...
00:30:38I can be his...
00:30:41Hey, guys, we did it.
00:30:42Yeah.
00:30:43We did it.
00:30:44Okay, we'll finish this up, and then I am throwing a party.
00:30:46I mean, a private party, private party, all the tokens are on the house.
00:30:51Hey, I'm gonna bring an old lady.
00:30:52Yeah, great idea, man.
00:30:53Hey, get all the girls down here.
00:30:55Hey, I got it.
00:30:56Tell them to come as they are.
00:30:58I love PJs, you know, the frills and the legs.
00:31:01All right, Jorge, all right, let's go, guys.
00:31:04I wasn't living much of a start-off in life as a child.
00:31:08At least, what I can remember of my childhood.
00:31:15I can't go on like this!
00:31:18I can't!
00:31:24This is happening all so fast.
00:31:26I don't even know where to be, Mr. Runner.
00:31:29I was so young then.
00:31:31Hey, buddy, it's at the 2 in the morning.
00:31:33I really don't care about your problems.
00:31:35But wait, wait, wait!
00:31:36It's about the arcade!
00:31:38I thought it might be.
00:31:40What about the video arcade?
00:31:41Mr. Runner, it's just that I think you're all wrong about the arcade.
00:31:46It's a great place for boys and girls to have a good time.
00:31:52Why, all kids need somewhere they can have a good time.
00:31:55And in having a good time, they can be somewhere like Eugene.
00:32:00He's been somewhere.
00:32:01He's now here.
00:32:03He works at the arcade, don't you?
00:32:08Yes, I do.
00:32:09Tell him about it.
00:32:10I enjoy my work there very much.
00:32:11It's a wonderful place to work.
00:32:13It's enough, Eugene.
00:32:16Yeah, I love it.
00:32:17Thanks, Cory.
00:32:18What is that?
00:32:19Hey, come on.
00:32:20Let's go somewhere.
00:32:22Hey, look, you're gonna love it!
00:32:24Frank, you're gonna wake up all the neighbors.
00:32:25We stole all the video games.
00:32:26Stole what?
00:32:27We keep one for the den.
00:32:28Have one for the-
00:32:29Hey, come on.
00:32:31Let's go somewhere.
00:32:33Hey, look.
00:32:35You're gonna love it.
00:32:37Pratt, you're gonna wake up all the neighbors.
00:32:39We stole all the video games.
00:32:41Stole what?
00:32:43We keep one for the den.
00:32:45Here's a receipt
00:32:47for the truck rental Uncle Joe.
00:32:49Receipt for what?
00:32:51Just while you see it.
00:32:53Say what?
00:32:55Hey, Arnie, what happened?
00:32:57What happened?
00:33:13Hey, Candy.
00:33:15You were great.
00:33:17Hi, Champ.
00:33:19You wanna play Pac-Man?
00:33:21Maybe later.
00:33:23Maybe later.
00:33:25Hey, Vinny.
00:33:27Hey, Vinny.
00:33:29I see the gang's all here, huh?
00:33:31Hey, what's the idea?
00:33:33Opening up and not alerting the videos?
00:33:35We see we're not open.
00:33:37We took care of a little business
00:33:39and now we're celebrating.
00:33:41We're gonna have to leave
00:33:43because this party is private.
00:33:45Well, why can't we stay?
00:33:47I told you.
00:33:48We're not open.
00:33:49We're not open.
00:33:50We took care of a little business
00:33:51and now we're celebrating.
00:33:52We're gonna have to leave
00:33:53because this party is private.
00:33:54Well, why can't we stay?
00:33:55I told you.
00:33:56We're not open.
00:33:57Well, uh...
00:33:58I'll tell you what.
00:33:59How about if we play for it?
00:34:00You against me.
00:34:01And if I win, we stay.
00:34:02If you win, we leave.
00:34:03No, now you know I never play these games.
00:34:05I'll tell you what.
00:34:06I'll tell you what.
00:34:08You pick your best player.
00:34:09Him against me.
00:34:10If he wins, no problems.
00:34:12I'll leave.
00:34:13You've got a game.
00:34:18And the game is...
00:34:22Satan's Hollow!
00:34:26This way, Andy.
00:34:28This way.
00:34:29Okay, here.
00:34:30Let's get this show on the road.
00:34:31Now, the rules of the arena are very simple.
00:34:33Each man will play one complete game
00:34:36of Satan's Hollow.
00:34:38And at the end of the game,
00:34:39the man with the highest point total
00:34:41will be the winner.
00:34:44I'm gonna kill you.
00:34:45Go for it, match head.
00:34:48Come on, come on.
00:34:49Players, in position, ready to start game.
00:34:51Put the tokens, please.
00:34:53Ready?
00:34:54Start game!
00:35:09Okay, Dorfus, come on.
00:35:11Let's go, Dorfus.
00:35:12Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:35:14Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:35:15Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:35:16It's time to play.
00:35:17Come on.
00:35:18Dorfus, come on.
00:35:19Eat the hot dog and let's start it.
00:35:21Okay, come on.
00:35:22Come on.
00:35:23Play the game, Dorfus.
00:35:24Dorfus, play the game.
00:35:26Play the game, Dorfus.
00:35:27Come on, guys.
00:35:28Come on.
00:35:29Dorfus, watch out.
00:35:30You're about to be hit, Dorfus.
00:35:31Oh, yeah.
00:35:32Dorfus.
00:35:33Dorfus.
00:35:34Dorfus, come on.
00:35:35Hit the second man.
00:35:36Come on, Dorfus.
00:35:37Dorfus.
00:35:38Dorfus, play the game.
00:35:43Oh, yeah.
00:35:44Yeah.
00:35:45What is this, Dorfus?
00:35:46Pick it up.
00:35:47We're gonna do this.
00:35:48Come on, we gotta win.
00:35:49Come on, Dorfus.
00:35:50Get going.
00:35:51Oh, yeah.
00:35:52Oh!
00:35:57This is great.
00:35:58This is great.
00:35:59Dorfus, what are you doing?
00:36:04Get down to your last man, Dorfus.
00:36:08There's only one man.
00:36:09What are you doing, Dorfus?
00:36:10Dorfus, come on.
00:36:11There's only one left.
00:36:12Come on.
00:36:13What's he doing?
00:36:15Too bad, Dorfus.
00:36:16Too bad.
00:36:20I lost my candy bar.
00:36:21Oh, there's your man.
00:36:22There's your man.
00:36:27All right.
00:36:34Go.
00:36:35Go.
00:36:36Go.
00:36:37Go.
00:36:38Go.
00:36:39Go.
00:36:40Go.
00:36:41Go.
00:36:42Go, go, go, go.
00:36:43Get down.
00:37:00Go.
00:37:01Go.
00:37:02Go.
00:37:03What's that?
00:37:05Yeah, move that door.
00:37:06Ah!
00:37:07Ah!
00:37:08Oh my God!
00:37:10Come on, go away.
00:37:12Come on, Tommy.
00:37:13Come on, Tommy.
00:37:14Yeah!
00:37:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
00:37:23We're going to the best.
00:37:25Go, go, go, go!
00:37:27All right.
00:37:28Oh!
00:37:29Oh!
00:37:30Oh!
00:37:31Oh!
00:37:32Jarvis, you won!
00:37:35Hey, Dorfus.
00:37:36Dorfus, you can stop now.
00:37:39Hey, Dorfus, it's only a game.
00:37:41Come on.
00:37:42No, no, Jeff.
00:37:43It's not just a game.
00:37:44To Dorfus, playing video games is like eating or sleeping, breathing.
00:37:48Things that we take for granted and never question.
00:37:50You ask Dorfus to stop and you don't realize that for him to give up
00:37:53would be for him to give up on the very impulse that allows his heart to continue beating,
00:37:57the blood to surge through his veins and the air to fill through his lungs.
00:38:01God, Eugene.
00:38:02You're making me sick to my stomach.
00:38:03You have just witnessed a true champion.
00:38:04God.
00:38:05Sorry you lost, but maybe it's the color of your hair.
00:38:08Hey.
00:38:09Hey.
00:38:10Hey, look, Fidiot.
00:38:11You can stay, but no trouble.
00:38:12Promise?
00:38:13Hey, man.
00:38:14A Fidiot never promises nothing to no one.
00:38:15Oh no.
00:38:16Uh-oh.
00:38:17Uh-oh.
00:38:18Uh-oh.
00:38:19Paxi, I thought I told you you couldn't come here at any time.
00:38:21Oh no.
00:38:22Yeah.
00:38:23Yeah, but Daddy, that was like a video arcade.
00:38:24This isn't a video arcade.
00:38:25This isn't a video arcade.
00:38:26It's like a party in the middle of the night at the video arcade.
00:38:27So this is like a party atmosphere.
00:38:28Bailey, you're going too far this time.
00:38:29We're not going to stay here.
00:38:30It's like being a party in the middle of the night.
00:38:31You're not going to stay here.
00:38:32It's like being a party in the middle of the night at the video arcade.
00:38:36Oh, no.
00:38:44Uh-oh.
00:38:45Patsy, I thought I told you you couldn't come here anymore.
00:38:48Yeah, but Daddy, that was like the video arcade.
00:38:50This isn't a video arcade.
00:38:51It's like a party in the middle of the night at the video arcade.
00:38:53So this is like just part of the atmosphere.
00:38:55Bailey, you've gone too far this time.
00:38:58You have no right to keep this business open this late at night.
00:39:00We are not open for business, Rudder.
00:39:03This is a private party.
00:39:04Yeah, Daddy, and no offense, but you weren't on the invite list.
00:39:07Way rude.
00:39:09Look, you're taking blatant advantage of these minors.
00:39:12Let me look around how these young girls are dressed.
00:39:14Oh, yeah.
00:39:15And I know each and everyone personally, so if you're interested, let me know which one of them.
00:39:19Let's help with them.
00:39:19Look, I've had just about enough of you for one night, young man.
00:39:22I want you out of here, Rudder.
00:39:23This is a private gathering.
00:39:25I'm leaving.
00:39:26But you haven't heard the last of me yet.
00:39:29It's a stupid idea about stealing those games and renting a truck.
00:39:33Stupid.
00:39:35Shut up, shut up, shut up.
00:39:45Come in.
00:39:46I want you two to arrange a spontaneous public demonstration outside this arcade tomorrow afternoon.
00:39:57That's a good idea, Uncle Joseph.
00:39:59Yeah, well, I'll screw this one up.
00:40:00Uncle Joseph, that reminds me.
00:40:01We screwed it up with the truck tonight, and we're going to pick up the tab.
00:40:06I got the receipt right here, so don't worry.
00:40:09We're going to take care of it personally.
00:40:11This is Alexis Wheeler speaking to you live from Bailey's Video Arcade.
00:40:15We're in the middle of a spontaneous demonstration to close down the arcade.
00:40:19We have a special interview for you with this gentleman over here.
00:40:22Oh, excuse me.
00:40:24Your name, sir?
00:40:26Uh, Joseph Rudder.
00:40:27Rudder Enterprises right here in River City.
00:40:29Mr. Rudder, do you have anything to do with this demonstration?
00:40:32Well, no, ma'am.
00:40:32I came here as a shocked parent, a concerned parent who cares very deeply about all the children of this community.
00:40:37You know, what takes place here, day after day, stands as a testament to the rotting moral decay of our society.
00:40:45Rudder was determined to close us down from the moment he walked into this place.
00:40:49The man's a driven asshole.
00:40:51No, no, you don't see what I mean.
00:40:52He was there when Alvin Lola ran out with their tops off.
00:40:55He thinks we're running a bordello.
00:40:58Bordello?
00:40:59Yes, you should have seen the expression on the druggist's face when I picked up these slides this morning.
00:41:03Look at this one.
00:41:04What did he get there?
00:41:05And so, at the video arcade, with one very angry and frustrated parent.
00:41:09This is Alexis Wheeler, Channel 6, Up to the Minute News.
00:41:12Oh, I got an idea.
00:41:16Alexis!
00:41:17This is Alexis Wheeler, speaking to you poolside at the home of Mr. Joseph Rudder,
00:41:21who is conducting the campaign in this city to close down the video arcade.
00:41:25Mr. Rudder, thank you for allowing us into your home.
00:41:27Could you reiterate to our audience what it is you plan to accomplish?
00:41:30Now, we have a contingency of parents demonstrating in front of the arcade now,
00:41:34and we will continue to do so until Mayor Neville calls a special meeting of the city council
00:41:38to discuss this issue specifically.
00:41:40And it has to be done soon before any more harm to our children is done.
00:41:43Uh, have you, in fact, ever gone to the video arcade?
00:41:46Haven't I made myself clear, lady?
00:41:47That damn video arcade is nothing but a breeding ground for decadent and antisocial behavior.
00:41:52That's interesting, Mr. Rudder.
00:41:55Uh, speaking of antisocial behavior,
00:41:57I have photographic evidence of you at the arcade with two semi-nude girls in your arms.
00:42:02What is this? Is this a setup or something?
00:42:04I mean, what do you think you are, Mike Wallace or Howard Gusell or something, huh?
00:42:08Are you aware of the photograph of which I speak?
00:42:10I have no idea of what you are talking about.
00:42:12Do you have that photograph with you?
00:42:13No.
00:42:14Oh, sure.
00:42:15Uh, but I do know where it can be found.
00:42:17Uh, yeah, well, this is the worst example of shoddy journalism I have ever seen.
00:42:20Well, I don't know.
00:42:21I thought it was a pretty good example of shoddy journalism.
00:42:23No further comment, thank you.
00:42:25Uh, no, Mr. Rudder, we're not quite through.
00:42:27We have a few more questions.
00:42:28Uh, we have just a few more questions.
00:42:31No, no, no.
00:42:31George says it's over.
00:42:32It's over.
00:42:33All we have to do now is wait for his call.
00:42:35We got him this time.
00:42:36Hey, I thought you said you were coming along.
00:42:47These guys don't count.
00:42:49You got the photographs like we agreed?
00:42:51Yeah, but there's something I want you to understand.
00:42:53Two things.
00:42:53I want the photo, and I want you to tell that lady journalist that photo was a phony.
00:42:56You can have it.
00:42:58But you got to promise that you'll leave this arcade alone and that you'll drop those stupid charges.
00:43:03I promised you that on the phone, didn't I?
00:43:05Now, where's the photo?
00:43:05It's right over here behind the ball.
00:43:07Hey, hey, these guys are a little impatient, aren't they?
00:43:10Well, I want that photograph.
00:43:14Okay, now, here's what you're looking for, but, uh, first I want you to sign a simple agreement.
00:43:19You know, it's nothing complicated.
00:43:20It just simply reaffirms our understanding.
00:43:24I gave you my word.
00:43:26I'm sorry, Rudder, but that's just not quite good enough.
00:43:31You got the photograph?
00:43:33All right, fine, let's go.
00:43:35Hold on!
00:43:42Let's go.
00:43:43Hey, excuse me, excuse me, all demonstrators, if you come up here and turn in your picket signs, you'll get one free token.
00:43:58That's right, right up here by the snack bar.
00:43:59Come on.
00:44:00What's going on here?
00:44:09Where are the demonstrators?
00:44:11It's not our fault, Uncle Joseph.
00:44:13Yeah, Uncle Joseph.
00:44:14We've been outsmarted.
00:44:15This is our place.
00:44:18What are all these old dudes doing here, hanging out, taking up all our games?
00:44:21This place is open to the public.
00:44:24I can't determine who comes in here and plays these games.
00:44:26How could you let this happen?
00:44:29Oh, man, you sold out.
00:44:31You really sold out to the max, man.
00:44:33Okay, Vidiot, out of here right now.
00:44:35Hey, you don't have to tell us to leave.
00:44:37We're on our way out of here anyway.
00:44:38We don't want to hang in your crummy joint.
00:44:40Hey.
00:44:40Come on.
00:44:45Come on.
00:44:51I guess it.
00:44:53Yeah, what do you want?
00:44:54All right.
00:44:55Could you take me to your leader?
00:44:59The name's King Vidiot.
00:45:01These are my subjects.
00:45:03Hey, uh, have you got a sister?
00:45:05Me?
00:45:05No.
00:45:06No, I...
00:45:06It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Vidiot.
00:45:08My card.
00:45:10I'm not impressed.
00:45:13Well, that's too bad, because I think we're on the same side.
00:45:17However, if you decide you need help with our young friend, Mr. Bailey, in there, give me a call.
00:45:28What the hell are you doing here?
00:45:30You said you wanted to talk.
00:45:31I'm in my office.
00:45:32I don't like offices.
00:45:33Why don't you use a door?
00:45:35I don't like doors.
00:45:36Very well, Mr. Vidiot, have a seat.
00:45:38I don't like seats.
00:45:42And that's another thing.
00:45:44The name is King Vidiot, not Mr. Vidiot.
00:45:50You can call me your highness if you like.
00:45:52You and I have something in common.
00:45:54Do you know what that is?
00:45:55We both like to hang out in public bathrooms.
00:46:01No.
00:46:02We both hate that arcade.
00:46:04Wait a minute, man.
00:46:06I love the arcade.
00:46:08Then let me put it another way.
00:46:09We both hate Jefferson Bailey.
00:46:11Now, I saw him kick you out of there last night.
00:46:13And if you're half the leader, I think you are.
00:46:15I am half the leader.
00:46:16You think I am?
00:46:18You'd like some revenge?
00:46:19Revenge.
00:46:20Yeah.
00:46:22Revenge.
00:46:23Sure.
00:46:25Revenge.
00:46:36Revenge.
00:46:38He's sweet.
00:46:41I'll tell you what.
00:46:43You help me force Jefferson Bailey out of business,
00:46:46and I'll buy you your own video game.
00:46:49If you're dying, I'm not going to give you mouth to mouth.
00:46:59You mean my very own machine?
00:47:01Yeah.
00:47:02Nobody else can touch it?
00:47:03No.
00:47:05What do I got to do?
00:47:06Well, I want a major disturbance at the arcade.
00:47:10Oh, man, we do that all the time.
00:47:12Yeah, but I want a special one.
00:47:13I've got to force the mayor to move.
00:47:15Oh, yeah.
00:47:16Yeah, like, uh, like, uh,
00:47:19uh, breaking some bones.
00:47:22Oh, yeah.
00:47:24Revenge.
00:47:26Oh, man,
00:47:27what if we was to have some wheels?
00:47:32Some wheels?
00:47:34Yeah.
00:47:36Wheels.
00:47:37Wheels.
00:47:51Wheels.
00:47:55Wheels.
00:47:57Wheels.
00:48:00Wheels.
00:48:01Wheels.
00:48:02He's there.
00:48:04Oh.
00:48:04Hello, operator. Quick, give me the police. This is an emergency.
00:48:27This is Alexis Wheeler reporting to you from the video arcade where violence has just erupted.
00:48:34Mr. Rudder, were you a witness to what happened here today?
00:48:37I have nothing to say to you, as of course you're here to apologize for your scurrilous accusations.
00:48:42I have nothing to apologize about, but I will admit that with the violence here today,
00:48:46the mayor is going to really have a problem with everything that's been going on.
00:48:49Mr. Rudder, thanks for the wheels, man. Hi, Mom.
00:48:53What did that young man mean?
00:48:54I have no idea. He's just another one of these lunatics from this asylum.
00:48:58What did you start to say about the mayor?
00:48:59I was only suggesting that the mayor will more than likely want to call a meeting to discuss everything that's been happening.
00:49:03Folks, straight from Alexis Wheeler, the mayor is calling a special emergency meeting to shut this video arcade down.
00:49:08I never said such a thing. I never...
00:49:09Give me back my microphone.
00:49:14There will be order.
00:49:16Get in this room.
00:49:18That's better.
00:49:19Now proceed with the opening statement, sir.
00:49:22Mr. Rudder.
00:49:22Mr. Mayor.
00:49:24Councilman, concerned parents, children.
00:49:27Mr. Rudder, would you go ahead?
00:49:45Thank you, Mr. Mayor.
00:49:47As you know, we are here to extinguish the filth and the decadence that is commonly referred to as video game entertainment.
00:49:54Fortunately, here in River City, the problem is isolated, though no less threatening.
00:50:01The trouble right here in River City is Bailey's video arcade.
00:50:04Yeah.
00:50:04All right, boys.
00:50:08Mr. Bailey, do you care to make some opening remarks?
00:50:15You mean, uh, other than to say that the honorable Mr. Joseph Rudder is full of shit?
00:50:22What's the deal?
00:50:25What are some of the signs of this video madness?
00:50:29What should a concerned parent look for?
00:50:31A large semicircle of calluses here along the ridge between the thumb and the forefinger.
00:50:37One should also look for Pac-Man arthritis or the Blinky syndrome, which manifests itself in the lower forearm and wrist of the playing hand.
00:50:46The hand that holds the, uh, joy stick.
00:50:51No!
00:50:52Is there anything else you have observed?
00:50:59Germs.
00:51:00Germs, Nurse Tubbett?
00:51:02Kids play with their joy sticks day in and day out.
00:51:05Jerking back and forth.
00:51:07Sweating on them.
00:51:08And they don't even clean them off when they're through.
00:51:10Their joy sticks are a hotbed of germs.
00:51:15Germs!
00:51:15Well, as it turns out, most of my boys are spending all their time at these damn video games.
00:51:23Why, they're addicted to them.
00:51:24It's worse than dope or booze or even women.
00:51:28And it takes their drive away, like self-abuse.
00:51:32If you were to summarize the effect the video arcade has had on you,
00:51:37what would you say?
00:51:39Oh, you mean like in, uh, 25 words or less?
00:51:41Uh, the video arcade has made me what I am today.
00:51:50Woo!
00:51:51How many?
00:51:52What's the matter?
00:51:52That was less than 25 words.
00:51:55I hoped to convey the very specific, easily discernible damages done by the video arcade.
00:52:02I would be remiss in my responsibilities as spokesman for this cause
00:52:06without trying to express to you the frightfully immoral nature of the arcade ambience itself.
00:52:13As soon as you walk through the door,
00:52:15you are hit by the stench of the filth that covers the premises.
00:52:19She's 16, she's beautiful, she's ready for action.
00:52:24What am I feeling?
00:52:25Oh, Jeff, Jeff, my body is mega-entrenched, but restless and abandoned to be as one of you.
00:52:30I'm sorry, Cassie, I'm busy.
00:52:32You have to go elsewhere for your sexual gratification.
00:52:36Oh, Jeff, the line is always so awesome.
00:52:38Go.
00:52:39Oh, baby, baby, baby.
00:52:42Oh, how long is the way?
00:52:55She said 15 minutes, but it's always longer.
00:52:58This is my fourth time today, and I'm going to even dozen.
00:53:03Number 69.
00:53:05Number 69.
00:53:07You know the rules, Candy.
00:53:09I do the touching.
00:53:11You know the rules, Candy.
00:53:26Well, one, two, three.
00:53:28Two, three, three.
00:53:29And so, in conclusion, I hope you can all see the urgent need to close this place down
00:53:48as quickly and as efficiently as possible.
00:53:54Now, I have listened very carefully to Mr. Rudder, as I'm sure most of us have.
00:53:59Now, I would like to tell you the truth, that the video arcade is quite a different place
00:54:04than what my esteemed opponent has described.
00:54:07Children of all ages are welcome at the video arcade.
00:54:11And now, today, class, we will continue our lesson in computer science.
00:54:15Mr. Bailey, I want you to know that your lessons have been very instrumental in getting me into college.
00:54:21That's right, sir, especially your lessons on your private computer.
00:54:28I like milk. It's very nutritious.
00:54:32I'm drinking milk for good.
00:54:41Oh, I'm sorry, Eugene. I accidentally rubbed my breast up against you.
00:54:46No harm done, Candy.
00:54:52Colonel Dorfus, these are excellent hit dogs in bins, the best I've ever had.
00:54:57Thank you, Your Holiness, but it's hot dog and beans.
00:55:00Yes, of course.
00:55:04Colonel Dorfus, do you smell something?
00:55:07Why, no, Your Holiness, I do not.
00:55:11Well, never mind.
00:55:13Remember, Your Holiness, the words of the Apostle Paul,
00:55:16he who smelt it first hath dealt it first.
00:55:19Yes, that is as it should be.
00:55:21I would be wholly remiss in my duties if I didn't call one very special witness to the stand.
00:55:32That is, of course, if I have the approval of Mr. Runner.
00:55:37It's a free country.
00:55:38Patsy Runner.
00:55:40Now, in your own words, would you please tell the council how you feel about the video arcade?
00:55:53Okay, like where are we supposed to go?
00:55:56Sure, there's the gallery,
00:55:58and there's like going to the movies and everything,
00:56:00or going to 7-11 after school for stuff,
00:56:03but like that's totally it.
00:56:04Jack Bailey's video arcade is the only place to go for good clean fun.
00:56:11Good clean fun?
00:56:12My God!
00:56:12Patsy!
00:56:13Patsy!
00:56:13There's a good clean about that place!
00:56:15It's slime!
00:56:16It's pure unadulterated slime!
00:56:18Immoralized slime!
00:56:20Slime!
00:56:21What?
00:56:26Well, thank you, Mr. Rudder,
00:56:28for very nicely leading me into my next point
00:56:32about immorality as we see it today.
00:56:34Ladies and gentlemen,
00:56:36as a way of clearing up
00:56:38Mr. Rudder's definition of immoral slime,
00:56:42watch this!
00:56:54Max, you said you got that photo!
00:56:57I did it, you're there!
00:56:57May I please have Eugene's photograph?
00:57:10And in conclusion,
00:57:12as for the video arcade being a threat to the community,
00:57:15I'll tell you that
00:57:16until my grandfather and I opened the arcade,
00:57:20these kids never felt that they belonged to a community at all.
00:57:26At the arcade, the kids belong.
00:57:29Well, yes!
00:57:30Yes!
00:57:30Yes!
00:57:31Yes!
00:57:31Yes!
00:57:32Yes!
00:57:33Yes!
00:57:33Yes!
00:57:37Defense,
00:57:38and I had always,
00:57:38never seen the personal event.
00:57:42Your honor,
00:57:43no city ordinance has been broken.
00:57:44I don't see who could possibly close this arcate.
00:57:46This council of River City concludes that no laws have been broken at the Arcade, so we can find no evidence to warrant its closing.
00:58:03As long as you don't break any laws.
00:58:07Let's get the hell out of here.
00:58:11That's it.
00:58:13You best go home now, darling.
00:58:16Well, congratulations, young Mr. Bailey. You did quite well in here.
00:58:21Well, thank you, Rudder. That's very sportsmanlike of it.
00:58:24Suppose you think you've got this thing won, huh?
00:58:26You heard what the mayor said? As long as we keep things within the law.
00:58:29Well, I suppose you'd be interested to see what my two nephews here found in the kitchen of your snack bar.
00:58:34You're just not going to give up, are you, Rudder?
00:58:38Well, you son of a...
00:58:39No, no, just wait a minute.
00:58:40What?
00:58:42Um, well, I just had an idea, that's all.
00:58:44Well, I thought that maybe we could settle this like gentlemen.
00:58:47What are you, crazy, you dear?
00:58:49You have to handle something wrong.
00:58:50It's just the last time we had a disagreement, we played a game at the Arcade, and the winner of the game decides.
00:58:58This little wimp speaks for you.
00:58:59Yeah, this little wimp speaks for me.
00:59:00And I challenge you to a game, my man against any man you choose.
00:59:05If you win, I'll close the Arcade down.
00:59:08But if I win, you leave the Arcade the hell alone.
00:59:13You know, my man, His Highness King Vidiot!
00:59:16Yeah, and my man is Jonathan MacDorphis.
00:59:19Okay, this time, we play my game, Super Pack, piece of cake.
00:59:26Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
00:59:37Well, it's all settled in.
00:59:39Shall we say it on 9 o'clock in the morning?
00:59:40Give me a lemon, Rudder!
00:59:42I gotta eat my breakfast first!
00:59:43Okay, calm down, gosh, man.
00:59:45You're in training, no two.
00:59:48All right, you two know what to do now, huh?
00:59:51You sure you know where that slob kid lives?
00:59:57Farewell, kid, what do you say, huh?
00:59:59Where's your man?
01:00:00Dorfus?
01:00:01He's around.
01:00:01No, he's not around.
01:00:03Excuse me, sir, private conversation.
01:00:05You bet, sure.
01:00:05He's not at home, and the guy at the hot dog stand next door hasn't seen him since last night.
01:00:10Not since last night?
01:00:11No.
01:00:11Your Highness, I'll tell you what, kid, it's put up a shut-up time.
01:00:14Are you gonna barf it?
01:00:15No, I am.
01:00:15I'll just choose someone else to play.
01:00:17I'll tell you what, Bailey, you're so smart, I'll play you.
01:00:21No, that's not the deal.
01:00:22That's right.
01:00:22Besides, idiot, you know I never play these games.
01:00:25Never play these games?
01:00:26Sure, you never play these games.
01:00:27That's right, so it wouldn't be fair, so I'll just choose someone else to play.
01:00:30So you shouldn't be...
01:00:31No!
01:00:32Everybody knows Bailey doesn't play video games.
01:00:35He's a regular chicken.
01:00:39I'll tell you what, Bailey, let's sweeten the pot a little bit here, huh?
01:00:41I'll let you play, but you gotta promise that if you lose this match, you'll not only shut this arcade down, you'll never open another arcade here in River City, huh?
01:00:48All right, you got it.
01:00:54But you gotta give me 15 minutes.
01:00:56You got it.
01:00:58I think there's something I should tell you.
01:01:04Yeah?
01:01:04Well, you know the reason why I never play these games?
01:01:08No.
01:01:08Well, they...
01:01:10They make me physically ill.
01:01:12What?
01:01:13Yeah.
01:01:14I mean, every time I look into one of those screens, I get dizzy.
01:01:18John?
01:01:19Are you okay?
01:01:20Yeah.
01:01:20I mean, you look a little weird.
01:01:22No, no, I'm fine.
01:01:23I'm fine.
01:01:23It's cool.
01:01:24Thanks.
01:01:24Aw.
01:01:25Jeff, you must be shitting me.
01:01:27Oh, Eugene, I wouldn't shit you at a time like this.
01:01:29Oh, why?
01:01:34Why, Jeff?
01:01:35Why do you get so dizzy?
01:01:37I know.
01:01:38I'll run and get some Dramamine.
01:01:40Eugene, that is not gonna help.
01:01:43I guess I better tell you the whole story.
01:01:46It all started, Eugene, because I love video games.
01:01:50And I guess that's why Dorfus and I became so close.
01:01:54I mean, we'd play each other, and sometimes he'd win, and sometimes I'd win, and...
01:01:59Gosh, you must be really good.
01:02:02I was, Eugene.
01:02:03Was.
01:02:05Anyhow, about six months ago, I convinced my grandfather to turn the warehouse into the arcade.
01:02:13And we had a fantastic grand opening.
01:02:16And after we were closed, my girlfriend and I, Sandy, we kind of hung around a while, you know.
01:02:23God, it was wonderful, Eugene.
01:02:25We were so in love.
01:02:27What happened then?
01:02:28They moved out of town, and I haven't seen her since.
01:02:32And now, every time I look into one of those screens, I see the reflection of her father.
01:02:38And I haven't played those games since.
01:02:41I'll help you, Jeff.
01:02:43You gotta come through this.
01:02:44Everybody out there's depending on you.
01:02:47You gonna help me, Eugene?
01:02:48You can count on me, Jeff.
01:02:49Make sure these three monsters are found on moving four and three and energize.
01:02:57You only have a limited number.
01:02:58Use and sparing the maximum point of potential.
01:03:01The energizer's hard to Pac-Man what spinach is to Popeye.
01:03:04Never hesitate moving the Pac-Man.
01:03:06Hesitation can be more formal enemy than the monsters.
01:03:09Courage is one of four ways to stop hesitation.
01:03:11The other three are practice, practice, practice.
01:03:15Come on, Jeff.
01:03:16Do it.
01:03:16You can do it.
01:03:17Just look at it.
01:03:19Eugene, I know you're trying, but I can't.
01:03:20I don't think I can do it.
01:03:22Eugene.
01:03:22This is the grandfather of all Pac-Man games.
01:03:24This is where it all started.
01:03:26No, you've gotta do it.
01:03:27You don't have much time.
01:03:34What happened?
01:03:35Nothing.
01:03:35What was I?
01:03:35Okay, it's time to go to the joystick.
01:03:37Oh, no, Eugene.
01:03:38I don't think I can do it.
01:03:39Come on, baby.
01:03:39Get up there.
01:03:40You can do it.
01:03:41Eugene.
01:03:41Come on.
01:03:42It's got a maze in the middle.
01:03:42Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:03:43Oh, man.
01:03:44It's the same thing as a maze.
01:03:45Go, man.
01:03:46Let's it up.
01:03:46Now, dodge.
01:03:47Faster, faster.
01:03:48Get out.
01:03:49We'll get to the man.
01:03:50Perfect.
01:03:51Go.
01:03:51It's just like Super Pac.
01:03:53Except she's a true key guard.
01:03:54Go.
01:03:55Okay, Eugene.
01:03:56It's coming back.
01:03:57Yeah.
01:03:58Okay.
01:03:59I feel it.
01:04:00Fast.
01:04:00Dodge, dodge, dodge, dodge, dodge.
01:04:02Yeah.
01:04:05The moe's working, Eugene.
01:04:07The moe is working.
01:04:30All right.
01:04:32All right.
01:04:33Idiot, I am ready.
01:04:36You had better be.
01:04:38Okay.
01:04:38If everyone would, like, just bag the noise, okay, like we could do this.
01:04:42Okay.
01:04:43Players on their marks.
01:04:44Get set.
01:04:45Start.
01:04:46Game.
01:04:48Come on, Jeff.
01:04:49Come on, Jeff.
01:04:50Let's go.
01:04:51Come on.
01:04:51Come on.
01:04:52Get that power pedal.
01:04:52Come on.
01:04:53Ha.
01:04:54Ain't nothing going to save you now, Bailey.
01:04:57Come on, Jeff.
01:04:58Concentrate.
01:04:59Big ball.
01:04:59Big ball.
01:05:00Come on.
01:05:01Help me, please.
01:05:01Come on.
01:05:02What?
01:05:02Oh, no.
01:05:03No.
01:05:04Oh, no.
01:05:05This can't be happening.
01:05:06This can't be happening.
01:05:07Oh, my God.
01:05:07What am I doing?
01:05:08What am I doing?
01:05:08Help me.
01:05:14Find Dorfus.
01:05:20Oh, God.
01:05:21Uncle Joe's.
01:05:22Uncle Joe's gonna freak.
01:05:23Oh, God.
01:05:24He's a big guy.
01:05:49He's a big guy.
01:05:52Al, what are you doing?
01:05:54Get me out of here.
01:05:55Get out of here.
01:06:10My prayers have been answered.
01:06:14And, uh, you know, you're very...
01:06:16Oh, God.
01:06:20Oh, take me.
01:06:22Take all of me.
01:06:23Yee-haw.
01:06:24Move it.
01:06:24Move it.
01:06:25Move it.
01:06:25It's a big man.
01:06:25Come on.
01:06:26Oh, God.
01:06:27Oh, God.
01:06:27Man, this is cake.
01:06:29Oh, God.
01:06:32Jeff, I can't find him anywhere.
01:06:33But don't worry.
01:06:34Just remember, it's a big mole.
01:06:37Help.
01:06:38Help.
01:06:40Come on.
01:06:41Come on.
01:06:45Donuts.
01:06:45Donuts.
01:06:46Give me them.
01:06:47Ain't no one gonna help you now, Jeff.
01:06:49That's all right.
01:06:50Forget about the past.
01:06:50Just concentrate now.
01:06:52Do it now.
01:06:53Drop some beer.
01:06:54We can get a video high.
01:06:57Just keep those corners.
01:06:59Come and we'll play till the day we die.
01:07:01Watch we are.
01:07:03Lydia, Lydia, Lydia.
01:07:04Jeff, the mayor.
01:07:06Oh, shit.
01:07:07Okay, Eugene, you're the new assistant manager.
01:07:11I want you to go talk to him, PR him, schmooze him.
01:07:14Okay.
01:07:14Do it.
01:07:20Mayor Neville.
01:07:21Hi.
01:07:21I'm Eugene Groby, the assistant manager here at the establishment.
01:07:26Ah, see?
01:07:26Yeah, can I help you?
01:07:27Oh, no, thank you, Eugene.
01:07:29I just thought I'd come down here and have a cordial look around for myself.
01:07:33Uh-huh, yes.
01:07:34Well, then as a way of making you feel welcome, can I present you with some complimentary tokens
01:07:38so you can play the games?
01:07:40Oh, these games?
01:07:41Can we play these games?
01:07:42No, no, no, no, no.
01:07:43I don't think so, Eugene.
01:07:44Oh, come on.
01:07:45Give it a try.
01:07:46You're only young ones.
01:07:47Hey, there, play gore.
01:07:48It's easy.
01:07:50Here's your token.
01:07:51Uh, what's that for?
01:07:53Well, we use those instead of quarters.
01:07:54Put it in the slot right there.
01:07:57Uh-huh.
01:07:57Now, what do I do?
01:07:58Oh, press start.
01:08:00Press start.
01:08:02And try and not get blasted by these ships.
01:08:03Mm-hmm.
01:08:07What happened?
01:08:09You got blasted by these ships.
01:08:11Oh, I did, didn't I?
01:08:13Well, they can't do bad to me.
01:08:14We'll just see about that.
01:08:15Let me try again.
01:08:18What do I do?
01:08:18What do I do?
01:08:19Hold on to the joystick there.
01:08:20That's it.
01:08:21And then just dodge.
01:08:22Yeah, yeah.
01:08:22Now, with your index finger, you can shoot.
01:08:24And yeah, there you go.
01:08:26All right.
01:08:32That's the idea.
01:08:35Come on.
01:08:36Come on.
01:08:37Oh, please.
01:08:37Come on.
01:08:38Come on.
01:08:38You can do it.
01:08:40What's the matter, Bailey?
01:08:43Come on.
01:08:44Come on.
01:08:44If you'll untie me, we can prepare for a marathon experience, unlike anything you've had before.
01:08:59Oh, this is unlike anything I've had before.
01:09:04Yes, yes.
01:09:05But what I'm talking about is your wildest fantasies come to life.
01:09:11Oh.
01:09:12Yes.
01:09:13We'll meet again tonight.
01:09:15Oh.
01:09:15And I will have other, young, strong bodies with me.
01:09:21Oh.
01:09:21Yes.
01:09:22And even, even some, I know you're not going to believe this, better than I.
01:09:28Better than you?
01:09:29Yes.
01:09:30Yes, there, there are some out there.
01:09:33A few.
01:09:34A few.
01:09:34A few, but they're there.
01:09:36I know.
01:09:36They'll be with me tonight.
01:09:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:10:07Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:10:38Oh, the clovers, the clovers!
01:10:40Oh, $1,600!
01:10:44Hey, uh, I want you to face up to it, pal.
01:10:46You're a loser.
01:10:47Come on, Gene. Come on. Do it, you can do it.
01:10:50Come on, by the way.
01:10:51Hey, King Vidiot.
01:10:54Might as well put it in bed, huh?
01:10:56He�, I whooped him royally.
01:10:57Gray!
01:11:00Oh, good game, babe.
01:11:03Vidiot's quentin. He stopped playing.
01:11:05That'll all be over in a second, anyway.
01:11:18Your wife has a lovely bathroom.
01:11:25Wait, Dorfus, before you take over, there's something you should know.
01:11:28The reason Jeff doesn't play games.
01:11:30What do you mean about Sandy?
01:11:31So what?
01:11:32Well, it's just that I thought you were his friend, that's all.
01:11:34Come on, you guys, we can discuss this later now.
01:11:36Dorfus, help, help.
01:11:38I am Jeff's friend.
01:11:39What?
01:11:40Don't you want me to save the arcade?
01:11:41Of course I do, but I just think it's more important that we make Jeff face his problems.
01:11:45If you take over now, he may be scarred for life.
01:11:48Dorfus, he's got to do it himself.
01:11:50Eugene, not now, please.
01:11:57Jeff, Eugene's right.
01:11:59You gotta face up this, you gotta quit hiding from this.
01:12:02I know you can do it, man.
01:12:04Go for it!
01:12:06Go for it, Jeff!
01:12:07Go for it, Jeff!
01:12:08Alright, go!
01:12:09Go!
01:12:10Keen eyes, quick hands.
01:12:12I can energize my soul again.
01:12:15Go and see my name alive.
01:12:18I'm playing with my George King.
01:12:21Go!
01:12:22Go in the left, jerk it right.
01:12:25See that, there's this guy!
01:12:26Yeah!
01:12:27I'm playing inside.
01:12:28Shoot fast.
01:12:29Shoot straight.
01:12:30Video to the max.
01:12:31One down.
01:12:32Two down.
01:12:33Can't stop.
01:12:34Ah!
01:12:35Ah!
01:12:36No!
01:12:37There's no way he's gonna catch up!
01:12:38No way!
01:12:39No way!
01:12:40What was taken?
01:12:41He's dead!
01:12:42Why'd you kill off your last man's farm?
01:12:43You never do that till you definitely won!
01:12:44You called me, man!
01:12:45Why'd you listen to me, man?
01:12:46You're supposed to be the expert!
01:12:47No!
01:12:48I...
01:12:49Oh, God!
01:12:50No!
01:12:51Wait!
01:12:52Does that mean I don't get my own video games?
01:12:53No!
01:12:54No!
01:12:55No!
01:12:56No!
01:12:57No!
01:12:58No!
01:12:59No!
01:13:00No!
01:13:01No!
01:13:02No!
01:13:03No!
01:13:04No!
01:13:05No!
01:13:06No!
01:13:07No!
01:13:08No!
01:13:09No!
01:13:10Very fast!
01:13:12Yeah, Joseph!
01:13:13How's it hanging?
01:13:14Everything's under control.
01:13:15Joseph, don't worry.
01:13:16Neville?
01:13:17Neville, you gonna lie this video madness to go on?
01:13:18Oh.
01:13:19I have run out of tokens.
01:13:20Ah.
01:13:21Brother, give me a token.
01:13:22Thiso china health finish.
01:13:23I got photographic proof ofabbard and...
01:13:25Of...
01:13:26Health art and this...
01:13:27Violations.
01:13:28Oh, blow it off your ass brother, this is a great place, really a great place!
01:13:31Mr.
01:13:32You gonna get me a token or archer?
01:13:33No!
01:13:35Vidiou...
01:13:37напис Eventually priest then, raj!
01:13:39Please let me have a corner.
01:13:41Billy, I'm going to have a corner.
01:13:45Totally awesome.
01:13:47Billy, yeah!
01:13:49Yeah!
01:14:02I told you, boss.
01:14:03It's yours, boss, not mine, now.
01:14:05Oh, God!
01:14:06Oh, miss Robert, you have a token.
01:14:08Oh, bless you, my dear.
01:14:09Is this my daddy, Mr. Robert?
01:14:11Cheek video arcane, the store of the plants
01:14:13passing out like a gel-brite box of ronde?
01:14:16Does this mean we don't get the video machines for the tent?
01:14:19Why can't my daddy be like everybody else's
01:14:20and stay home in barbecue?
01:14:23Matt!
01:14:24I have not yet begun to fight.
01:14:26I think Uncle Joe's near us.
01:14:28All right, all right, everybody,
01:14:34all the tokens are on the house.
01:14:36Eugene, get them all free tokens.
01:14:38Grandpa George!
01:14:39Jeff, you're back.
01:14:40Oh, Grandpa, you missed it.
01:14:41I was able to play again.
01:14:42It was so great.
01:14:43Oh, that's wonderful, Jeff.
01:14:44That's wonderful.
01:14:45That's wonderful.
01:14:46And I got more wonderful things for you.
01:14:47I've been looking for a friend of yours, and I found it.
01:14:52Sandy.
01:14:53Oh.
01:14:54Oh.
01:14:55Oh.
01:14:56Oh.
01:14:57Oh.
01:14:58Oh.
01:14:59Oh, yes, sir.
01:15:00I certainly...
01:15:01Oh.
01:15:02Oh.
01:15:03Oh, Sandy.
01:15:14Oh, young people should be together, don't you think?
01:15:19Oh, yes, sir, I certainly...
01:15:20Oh, hi.
01:15:22Dorfus, you tell your young friend here that this here orish belongs to me.
01:15:28Wow.
01:15:28Oh, but Grandpa George, you see, Eugene's got a special kind of problem.
01:15:33Oh, hell, that's obvious.
01:15:35Somebody's got to get this boy laid.
01:15:42Hold this to me.
01:15:47Okay, Eugene, you're on your own.
01:15:50Aren't you guys going to come in with me?
01:15:52No, it's best if you experience it yourself.
01:15:54It'll have more meaning for you that way, Eugene.
01:15:55Get up, you psych-up.
01:16:00Right on, cowboy.
01:16:05Hi.
01:16:09Hello there, big boy.
01:16:11Mrs. Rudder.
01:16:13I'm Eugene Groby.
01:16:16And I'd like you to meet Simba.
01:16:20Oh, get it.
01:16:21What do you want to do?
01:16:22It's the last day for your life.