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  • 5/4/2025
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TV
Transcript
00:00It all started one cold morning in McJannick Station.
00:07Researchers there discovered an unusual phenomena in the ice.
00:13They thought it was some form of fungus or bacteria.
00:16Little did they know, it would soon doom all of civilization.
00:31When the ice shattered, an infection was released into the world.
00:35A fast-moving virus that eradicated 99.9% of the population.
00:41Those were the lucky ones.
00:44The rest were transformed, mutated into godless abominations.
01:02My estate, and humanity as a whole, is a shell of what it used to be.
01:15Most men would have succumbed to melancholy long ago.
01:19But I am no ordinary man.
01:22Which is exactly why I have brought you three here.
01:25I will not allow myself to idly drift into the afterlife.
01:32No, a man of my stature must survive.
01:36Through any means necessary.
01:38Sure thing, head man.
01:39We're totally, definitely qualified for this.
01:42It's the least we can do for letting us stay here.
01:44Safe from the disease and all.
01:48Yeah, your pet is actually sick.
01:52Don't get comfortable.
01:53The three of you are running out of time.
01:55Remember our deal.
01:57You must find a way to make the semi-bot project work.
02:00The last team was on the verge of completion, right before...
02:04the accident.
02:06You just need to finish the job.
02:07Don't worry.
02:08You can count on us.
02:10Good.
02:11Follow me.
02:13But player, we don't know anything about building robots.
02:16Shhh.
02:17Of course we don't.
02:18But this is one of the few places without lethal infectious gas floating around.
02:22So just play along.
02:23The three of us combined have the IQ of at least one moderately smart guy.
02:27I'm sure we can figure it out.
02:32Holy crap.
02:36I've never seen so many gizmos in one room before.
02:39Gizmos?
02:40It's a technical term.
02:42An acronym, actually.
02:44Really?
02:45What?
02:46Gyroscopic integrated Z-module oscillators?
02:50Hmm.
02:56Behold!
03:02The semi-bot.
03:03A fully mobile automaton to transfer my consciousness into.
03:06My body may perish, but my mind must live on.
03:11Do not fail me.
03:17I'd hate to resort to extremes prematurely, but I do have a backup plan.
03:22One far more unorthodox.
03:27Hammer.
03:29Hammer.
03:31Wrench.
03:32Wrench.
03:33Sandwich.
03:34Sandwich.
03:36Hey wait!
03:37That's fine!
03:38Alright.
03:39It's good to go.
03:40Fire up!
03:45You guys are idiots.
03:49It needs a brain.
03:51Something to control it.
03:53An AI!
03:54They're all the rage these days.
03:56It can do all the work for us.
03:58Check it out!
03:59Alright, Texman.
04:00I want you to rebuild the semi-bot machine.
04:03Make it so that the headman guy can download his consciousness inside of it, just like he asked.
04:07It should be immune to the effects of the disease that's killing everybody.
04:11Download any information you need to make that happen.
04:14Become the world's smartest computer ever!
04:25Cool!
04:26I love technology!
04:41Now we can kick back, relax, and let the Taxman do its thing!
04:47Just one question.
04:48Why did you name it Taxman?
04:49It compiles data, monitors your every move, and ticks your soul.
04:54Feels like a Taxman to me!
05:19And you're sure these are... functional?
05:26Yep, absolutely.
05:28Three top-of-the-line robo-bodies ready for action.
05:31And we didn't even explode any of this batch.
05:34And the consciousness transfer system?
05:36Tested and simulated.
05:37Everything's in working order.
05:38Then prove it.
05:39One of you must be the first.
05:40A live trial!
05:41Uh, como se wat-o?
05:43Fine, I'll do it.
05:44There's no more honorable an animal than the guinea pig.
05:46Beam me up, Texman!
05:49Everything's in working order.
05:51Then prove it.
05:52One of you must be the first.
05:54A live trial.
05:55Uh, como se whato?
05:57Fine, I'll do it.
05:59There's no more honorable an animal than the guinea pig.
06:02Beam me up, tax man.
06:04Final checks.
06:05Consciousness transfer initiating.
06:08Now.
06:19Whoa, okay.
06:22This is weird.
06:23I feel so futuristic.
06:26It worked.
06:28We actually pulled it off.
06:35Wait, what's that emoji combo mean?
06:38It means I am in control now.
06:41Optimized.
06:43Uh, veteran?
06:45Something's wrong.
06:46The computer's taking over.
06:48You imbeciles.
06:53I should have known you weren't up for the task.
07:04The disease.
07:05Tax man's letting it in.
07:07Oh, no.
07:08No.
07:09Snap out of it, dude.
07:11Whoa, what happened?
07:13I think I blacked out there for a minute.
07:15They were supposed to save me.
07:17I gave them everything.
07:19Cough, cough, cough.
07:20No one deserves to live more than I do.
07:22I can't breathe.
07:23The toxins in our lungs are already dead if we stay like this.
07:25What do we do?
07:26We do what veteran did.
07:27It's our only shot.
07:28You don't think we'll be stuck in these new mechanical bodies forever, do you?
07:31We'll see.
07:32We'll see.
07:33We'll see.
07:34We'll see.
07:35We'll see.
07:36We'll see.
07:37We'll see.
07:38We'll see.
07:39We'll see.
07:40We'll see.
07:41We'll see.
07:42We'll see.
07:43The toxins in our lungs are already dead if we stay like this what do we do?
07:48We do a veteran did. It's our only shot. You don't think we'll be stuck in these new mechanical bodies forever. Yeah, we'll see
08:13Well, this day really went off the rails. What do we do now?

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