Part 3 of 6 of the children's fantasy drama. The pupils are called to cook meals for the school governors for the upcoming Founder's Day, but Billy cannot cook. But while going to buy dinner for his family at the Fish and Chip shop he has an unusual experience with the man behind the counter, who offers him a strange batter mix that he assures him will cook the perfect pancakes. And the pancakes seem to go down well at the school event, but little does Billy know that it also has a somewhat unfortunate side effect...
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00gotta cooperate help out a bit yeah all right could do with a bit of help myself oh yeah why's
00:05that i've just got a lot to do at school i've got this story project which i haven't even cited yet
00:09and now i've got to learn how to cook cook yeah our class has got to do some food for fans to say
00:14and i can't even think of anything let alone do it son your worries are over you see before you
00:22not just a warehouseman but the greatest cook this side of splot street
00:30oh like i said yup yup pie who's a good old boy there hey hey alfred get that down
00:44oh well bill go down the chip shop get something for supper will you yeah all right
00:53so you didn't cook anything for founder's day yeah i cooked something like something spot street
00:59school we'll never forget
01:13oh
01:34here's your milkshake thanks so you did manage to cook something for founder's day yeah i won't forget my
01:41cooking larry i thought you were useless at cooking that's right but that's before i went to the chip shop
01:47why what happened at the chip shop i was coming to that
01:53when i got there there was this queue about a mile long
02:01just my luck if they run out of chips before i got to the counter i bet loads of people die of
02:06hungry in queues at chip shops nothing i could do about it though i got me book with me so i decided
02:12to read a bit of that to pass the time thought i'd probably have time to read the old freaking thing
02:16before it was my turn if you want the library son you're in the wrong place but if you want the perfect
02:22place you're in the right place you're in the right place what oh yeah right yeah no you're right it's not
02:34very funny get bit fed up with fish jokes myself sometimes come on in
02:39i mean you're obviously a bright lad reading and that you ever wondered what it's like working in a place like this
02:49have you no here you are
02:55i know dad gets filled up with his job down at the warehouse sometimes i can sympathize
03:00i mean people coming here and what do they want fish and chips right so that's what they're thinking
03:06about got chips on the brain they have so all i guess is is it fresh how's your cod how big are your
03:14fish cakes and then you get the comedians want to tell you the same jokes you've heard a million times
03:20before where were chips invented they ask greece i say what do you call a woman who goes fishing i ask
03:27a net i say what's the most dangerous fish they ask check the kipper i say on and on and on they
03:33go say it's enough to drive your bonkers ease yeah suppose it is never really thought about it
03:39still we've all got our problems hey just be nice to have a few different ones for a change
03:44so what can i get you um fish and chips three times please uh no better make it four
03:51mama wants them when she comes in from bingo and double chips from her dad he'll probably need them
03:56no big appetite is it no he's just got about a ton of washing up to do you'll need him when
04:01he gets through that lot you had a party then no he was trying to happen with some cooking i've got
04:05to do for school except it didn't work out very well yeah aren't you down as a book boy wouldn't
04:10afford you as a chef that's the problem i ain't i've got to think to something by tomorrow and learn
04:15how to cook it well you'll be all right bright boy like you no honest i'm dead useless i can't even
04:21boil water everybody can cook something look what's this it's a fish
04:33not now it isn't now it's a battered fish
04:38and not just any old batter none of your off-the-shelf supermarket stuff
04:42this is my own invention no one in the world knows what went into this except me of course and
04:50i ain't telling not for a million pounds do you know what makes this batter so special no what never
04:58fails this batter is in a class of its own yeah i'd have to buy fish too there's a lot of people to
05:05cook for it cost me a fortune who said anything about fish just take a bit of this powder mix it
05:18with some milk cook it in a frying pan you know what you got no what the perfect pancake and i can
05:27come back for family's sake that's right i'll tell you another thing anyone who eats one won't forget it
05:34in a hurry oh great can i buy some of it no it's like i said i'm the only one who uses it i can't sell
05:41you any but i will give you some oh great thanks saved your life i said thanks you son i won't forget
05:51this wait hang on what didn't you want some fish and chips oh yeah cheers he seemed like a great bloke
06:01and i felt really chuffed it didn't matter that i was uses cook because like he said the mixture would
06:06work anyway it was sort of fun getting everything ready like having a big party except of course we
06:15weren't invited
06:22winston try the soup with this what for just sit in it yeah just try it
06:28nigel crema take that whoopie cushion off the chair at once
06:31go for your girlfriend scott scott's in love hello romeo
06:52hey anita yeah what you got a pile of tissues for a lot of tissues they're napkins
06:57not only babies wore napkins that's nothing stupid oh very good everyone very good yes oh you'll all
07:08look back on this day with great pride the day you put spot street school on the map
07:13uh
07:18you'll be very busy here
07:20i do like to see busy hands you know
07:22yes
07:24there we are
07:26oh
07:28yes
07:30ah biscuits
07:32there now
07:34have you any idea who'll be eating this biscuit my boy
07:36the lord mayor himself now doesn't that make you feel proud to be a spot street boy
07:44of course it does
07:49i just can't believe anyone could be so brain dead even you weren't my fault oh no these
08:16peanuts just opened the bag and jumped into the lights all by themselves did they what's the
08:20problem here oh dear who left the peanuts in their shells he didn't score mastermind here
08:27but where are you i thought you're supposed to be helping me don't squabble about it
08:31you'll just have to take them all out and take off their shells
08:41i thought you were cooking sausages not burning them today look at that then looks
08:49as if someone's been ill no it doesn't
08:55lovely what's up no thanks i'm too young to die
08:59what a surprise you were just being modest when you said you couldn't cook
09:16these smell delicious may i try be my guest miss i'd like an opinion from a fellow professional
09:21yes absolutely delicious i can honestly say these are the best pancakes i've ever tasted
09:28you've made so many i got carried away by my own genius yes well i take back what i said about
09:33modesty but not what i said about the pancakes i'll tell you what if you can all take the food into
09:39the hall and tidy up within 15 minutes you can take some of these pancakes back to your classroom
09:43to share with the others sounds like you were enjoying it yeah i was it was like i couldn't
09:50do anything wrong and did you keep some pancakes to give to the others yeah a big painful but um
09:55i didn't exactly give them to anyone what you ate them all yourself oh no better than that
10:01i thought i could do a bit of business you didn't sell them well why not i mean they weren't my pancakes
10:13cheeks if you have lemon juice i don't have a problem here this is going to say we'd have to pay for
10:17them i know but she ain't got my overheads has she what overheads labor genius it all adds up
10:27what oh never mind here come on
10:35whatever you are doing you can stop it now
10:37the guests are about to arrive and mr hardwood has decided that as you prepared the food you can
10:45form the official welcoming party which means nigel creamer best behavior from everyone now have you
10:53all brought something smart to wear good so we will go and get changed lining up by the door very
11:07nice to have a dinner with my food oh that's on first they usually don't have any good meal
11:27what does the mayor do anyway i always thought there was a horse
11:31you excited billy what about the mayor coming yeah now
11:48oh
11:57oh
12:00oh
12:01surprise at you
12:07a very good steak prime i don't know when i went to middle school
12:12i wouldn't be waiting we're getting quite thirsty now
12:15right now flags at the ready everyone
12:19one
12:23wave
12:32that's lovely
12:38Welcome to Splott Street School.
12:49No one will know what a male does.
12:51What?
12:51Eats a lot.
12:52Charming.
13:02Charming.
13:06Hello.
13:07Hello.
13:08Good to see you.
13:11Hello.
13:12Hello.
13:14And you must be a very proud young man.
13:17Yes, of course you are.
13:18Good lad.
13:20What's your name?
13:21Scott Barnacle, sir.
13:22Ah, yes, I know your father.
13:24Splendid chap.
13:26I hope he's going to support me in the next election.
13:29Well, um...
13:30Well, Mr. Harwood, lovely little turnout you've laid on.
13:34Oh, thank you, Your Worship.
13:35Where's the, uh, food?
13:37Food?
13:37Ah, yes.
13:38It's in the hall, Your Worship.
13:39Good show.
13:40Public life always makes you a little bit peckish.
13:43Got any steak pies in there, have you?
13:46Uh, yes.
13:47We may be able to find you something, I feel sure.
13:49There's nothing like a good steak pie, except perhaps two steak pies.
13:53Mm-mm.
13:54We are very impressed, Mr. Harwood.
14:07Very impressed indeed.
14:08What a spread.
14:09Important teas, Your Worship.
14:11Not with the cutbacks and staff shortages, but no effort was spared.
14:15Say, you organized it all yourself, did you?
14:17Oh, yes, yes.
14:18I'm a member of the staff out with a few minor details, but like my old dad used to say to me,
14:22Everard, if you want something to do it right, do it yourself.
14:26Oh, excuse me.
14:30Right.
14:30Now, you've all done very well, and the man is very, very happy with all your hard work.
14:34So, now you can all go home.
14:35All right.
14:36Yes, all go home.
14:37That's it.
14:37Yes, thank you.
14:39Such a lovely children.
14:48Hello, Miss Frisbee.
14:50Hello, Billy.
14:51You look like the cat that got the cream.
14:53No, I'm the boy that cooked the pancakes.
14:55Hello, Billy.
15:05Hello, Joe.
15:09See, I told you it'd be all right.
15:11I felt such a fool.
15:12Didn't know where to put myself.
15:14Poor old Mrs Frisbee didn't even recognize me when I met her.
15:18She said I look like a yeti.
15:20Well, you look all right now.
15:21Honest.
15:23All right.
15:24Hello, love.
15:24You look very pleased with yourself.
15:26That's as glad to see his big sister.
15:27Aren't you, Billy?
15:28Yeah, made my day, that is.
15:30No, I made these wicked pancakes at school, and everybody thought that was brilliant.
15:34Even Mrs Corsa, that's the best you've ever tasted.
15:37And I made 85p selling them.
15:39But I saved one for you.
15:41Oh, what's that for?
15:43What would you like us to do with it, love?
15:45Well, I get it, of course.
15:47Oh, nice.
15:48Hasn't got anything to do with what you and your dad made, has it?
15:51No, of course not.
15:52Do you want some, Linda?
15:53My words?
15:54Well, I'm on a diet.
15:55Yeah, it looks like it.
15:57I'm sure they're lovely, but what with my hair and everything, I've sort of lost my appetite.
16:02All right.
16:02If my family don't appreciate what a genius they've got, I'll give it to someone who really
16:06will like it.
16:07Someone who never doubts me.
16:08Who's that?
16:09Well, Fred, of course.
16:11Here you go, Fred.
16:13Get that down there.
16:13There you go.
16:14Oh, Fred, you pig.
16:16No, he ain't.
16:17He's a dog with taste.
16:18He knows you're cooking when he sees it.
16:19He'd eat a Wellington boot if he was really hungry.
16:22Well, I think it was very thoughtful of you to give it to him.
16:24Right.
16:25I'm going to go watch some telly now.
16:29There you go, Mum.
16:31All finished.
16:35Yes.
16:37Lovely.
16:37I was dead chuffed about the pancakes.
16:44It seemed like I couldn't do anything wrong.
16:46Felt great.
16:48Then I remembered about the book and the project with Mrs Beerswood.
16:52Everybody in my class had to write something about a book they'd read, but I hadn't even
16:56started reading mine yet.
16:57Something always seemed to happen when I picked it up.
17:00At least, that was my excuse.
17:06Mum, what happened?
17:08There's something very odd about that dog.
17:10Odd?
17:11He's off his chump.
17:12I don't know what they put in his dog food, but it certainly doesn't agree with him.
17:15No, it's not right.
17:18And your dad's not going to like that hole in the door, I'll tell you that for nothing.
17:21But what happened?
17:24Well, one minute he was being all dozy and normal, and then suddenly his ears went up
17:29and his little eyes went all funny.
17:31And before I knew where I was, he was up and through that door like a bulldozer.
17:35Poor Fred.
17:36I'd better go look for him.
17:44Here, Scott, you seen Fred?
17:46You all right?
17:48Look, don't muck about it.
17:48This is an emergency.
17:51All right, so you got the hiccups.
17:52Just point if you've seen him go anywhere.
17:53Oh, thanks a lot.
18:01Here, Knight, you seen Fred?
18:03That's all I need.
18:10Now, listen.
18:11This is important.
18:12Have you seen my dog, Fred?
18:13And whatever you do, don't hiccup.
18:15What's going on?
18:17Oh, God.
18:19I thought what first day was having me on.
18:22But it wasn't just Scott and Nigel and Anita who'd got the hiccups.
18:25Everybody had them.
18:26And then it came to me.
18:40The pancakes.
18:41Everybody had eaten one except me.
18:43And poor old Fred had had mine.
18:44Oh, no.
18:48Everything to your satisfaction, Your Worship?
18:59Hey, remarkable, Sprained Hartman.
19:01Remarkable.
19:02Hmm.
19:02I'm that stuffed.
19:03I can feel my braces complaining.
19:06Do you hear that, Margaret?
19:07I said, I'm that stuffed.
19:09I can feel my braces complaining.
19:13All I knew was, it was my fault.
19:15And if anything happened to the mayor and the others,
19:17I'd really cop it.
19:19I'll just hope they spent so much time rabbiting
19:21that they hadn't even got to the pancakes yet.
19:26That's a good sense of humor and a good appetite.
19:29You've certainly got both of those, Your Worship.
19:32Yes, a good appetite.
19:34Oh, would you like something else?
19:36Well, I shouldn't really,
19:38but I wouldn't mind another one of those delicious pancakes.
19:48You know it's against the school rules to run in the corridors.
20:00Anyway, I thought Mr Hardwood had sent you all home.
20:02Oh, no, Mrs Pease.
20:05But it's sort of an emergency.
20:07But what sort of an emergency?
20:09An urgent one, Miss.
20:11Billy Webb, you are not moving from here
20:13until you tell me what this is all about.
20:15Fans is the same, Miss.
20:17I was wondering whether they got to the pancake share.
20:20Well, it's nice to see you so enthusiastic,
20:22but you don't have to worry, Billy.
20:24I'm sure your pancakes will be a great success.
20:27In fact, I'm sure the whole school will be talking about them by now.
20:29That's what I'm afraid of.
20:30Please, Mrs Peasegood, can I just have a look?
20:35Oh, all right.
20:35If it's that important to you, go on.
20:37But don't run.
20:40Yes, Miss.
20:40Yes.