A group of girls from an all-girl school foil a robbery plan that involves two million pounds that is hidden in their school.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Operation Windfall. Stand by all groups. Target past Junction X9 at 02.25. The time is now 02.30 precisely.
00:00:12Repeat 02.30 precisely. Synchronize all watches. Target is now entering operational area. Activate GP28. Now.
00:00:30Group 1. Close on target.
00:00:38Group 2. Action.
00:00:45You're reminded you have exactly 25 minutes to remove Windfall to temporary base Ajax, where Group 5 is waiting to receive it.
00:01:00Group 3. Stand by for Windfall.
00:01:10Group 3. Stand by for Windfall.
00:01:12You have 15 minutes to complete this stage. When work is finished, all groups should withdraw to headquarters by the prescribed routes.
00:01:30My congratulations. Part 1 of the operation has been completed. All personnel must now return to their normal occupations and await instructions. Part 2, the recovery of Windfall, will take place when moon and tide permit and the hue and cry subsides.
00:01:48Just before dawn, 222. The western mail hammering through. Green light blinks, turns to red. Shut off the steam and brakes, brake, brake. Shut off the steam, the driver's safe.
00:01:54Shhh! With the pigeons, shhh! With the brakes, chink, cockle, tank, with the cup blinks. Telling the tale of how the great train robbers robbed the mail.
00:01:56Just before dawn, 222. The western mail hammering through. Green light blinks, turns to red. Shut off the steam and brakes, brake, brake, brake. Shut off the steam, the driver's safe.
00:02:10Shhh! With the pigeons, shhh! With the brakes, chink, cockle, tank, with the cup blinks. Telling the tale of how the great train robbers robbed the mail.
00:02:22Shhh!
00:02:26Shhh!
00:02:28Thirty-one robbers at two twenty-two, never so much, pinched by so few. With all the coppers tucked up in bed.
00:02:35Whisc MYrrm shh! Roll off the doors, Rob совсем kap!
00:02:47On the driver's head, telling the tale of how the great trade robbers robbed the mail.
00:02:59Twenty-one robbers at three thirty-two got clean away, left no clue.
00:03:04Hit the trail for the old dark house, over the wall and made for the whole.
00:03:09Made for the whole, said, live the louse.
00:03:14Whist, went to press and shoot, went to brace, jink, cockle, plank.
00:03:17Went the cup, please, quack, went the blackjack, and we're up, went the jelly.
00:03:23Telling the tale of how the great trade robbers robbed the mail.
00:03:28There were white boys, all the merry, a fool, but none of them ragged with the triddy in school.
00:03:40Bethick, Labour game from Conservative.
00:03:42Another Labour game, buttersville, nearly ill.
00:03:45Fragile's day.
00:03:46I can't believe our luck.
00:03:47Hello.
00:03:49First time I've seen you lot here after four in the afternoon.
00:03:52It's the election, Mrs Musket.
00:03:54Have a drink.
00:03:54What for?
00:03:55It looks as if we're going to have a Labour government at last.
00:03:57Yes, isn't it wonderful?
00:03:59What do you mean?
00:04:00Us civil servants ain't supposed to have no politics.
00:04:02Poor Sir Alec.
00:04:04Fine lot of Conservatives you are.
00:04:06You simply don't understand, Mrs Musket.
00:04:09This has nothing to do with politics.
00:04:10No, if the Labour government gets in, it'll mean the end of public schools.
00:04:14And means, above all, the end of that appalling girl's school, St Trinian.
00:04:18Here, here, here.
00:04:19Another result?
00:04:20Knowledge?
00:04:21Another Labour game.
00:04:23Oh, dolly!
00:04:23Three!
00:04:25In the school, it's ten and high.
00:04:29Within its shade, we'll live and die.
00:04:33We'll keep our red flags flying.
00:04:38Yeah!
00:04:39Disgusting!
00:04:40Yeah!
00:04:40Gentlemen, your attention, please.
00:04:45Our new Minister of Schools.
00:04:47This is Richard Bassett, Deputy Director of Schools.
00:04:50Hey, glad to see a new broom, sir, after 13 years of Tory misrule.
00:04:54Mr Butters, Controller of Schools.
00:04:56Public, female, second category, southern.
00:04:59Ah, look after the girls, do you?
00:05:01I'll try to, sir.
00:05:02Mr Penny, Welsh Schools.
00:05:04Delighted, sir.
00:05:05Say, I like him terribly.
00:05:07Professor True Love, Public Relations and Private Schools.
00:05:12So looking forward to meeting you, sir.
00:05:14Dr Judd, Health and Free Milk.
00:05:17Delighted.
00:05:18And finally, Mr Culpepper-Brown, Games and Drain.
00:05:21This is a great day for us, sir.
00:05:22Now, ladies and gentlemen, will you take your seats, please?
00:05:33Well, my colleagues and myself would like to bid our new captain welcome.
00:05:36I'm sure you'll find us a happy crew.
00:05:38There we are.
00:05:39Absolutely.
00:05:40Jolly well said, sir.
00:05:41This is the Ministry of Schools.
00:05:43Not ruddy, Admiralty.
00:05:44You have a point there, sir.
00:05:45As you know, gentlemen, the policy of the new government is to phase out the kind of school
00:05:49that belongs to the past and phase in the kind that belongs to the future.
00:05:53You have in front of you a list of schools I have in mind to phase out.
00:05:57By George, Uppingham's had it.
00:06:00Westminster, St Paul's, Dulwich ought to be phased out.
00:06:04All right.
00:06:05All London schools, one gigantic comprehensive.
00:06:09Minister, there seems to be an oversight here, sir.
00:06:12There's one school I can't find in the girls' section under S.
00:06:16Oh, perhaps it's under T.
00:06:18Which school is that, mister?
00:06:20It's a school called St Trinian's.
00:06:25No.
00:06:26Oh, what about it?
00:06:28Well, it means that it absolutely screams for closure.
00:06:31Oh, yes, absolutely.
00:06:32Really?
00:06:33Why?
00:06:34Well, I...
00:06:35Well, I mean, so it's three fires in four years.
00:06:39Oh, yes, I remember the school now.
00:06:42They're living like refugees in a disused army camp.
00:06:44In Nissen Hut, sir.
00:06:46I take it I can add it to the list, sir, for phasing out.
00:06:49Now, just a moment.
00:06:50Think.
00:06:51This hupless band of children, driven from school to school, give a dog a bad name.
00:06:57Can we honestly say it's their fault?
00:06:58No, sir, parents' fault, absolutely.
00:07:01No, it's not the parents.
00:07:03Grandparents.
00:07:04No, it's the old system, privilege and underprivileged.
00:07:07Something a Labour government's going to put right.
00:07:10And what better challenge could a new government have to start with than St Trinian's?
00:07:15Naturally, it'll cost money.
00:07:16Everything costs money.
00:07:17That's what the big taxpayer's for.
00:07:18So let's begin boldly by giving St Trinian's a grunt for rehousing of...
00:07:25Will someone suggest a figure?
00:07:26Well, then, let me.
00:07:28Shall we say 80,000 pounds?
00:07:30Whistling
00:07:31Did I, uh, comment?
00:07:34No, sir, just the figure I had in mind.
00:07:36Right, well, that's settled.
00:07:37My goodness, I'm due at the house in ten minutes.
00:07:39We'll, uh, resume this discussion tomorrow.
00:07:41Oh, dear, now, poor Butters has phased out.
00:07:4980,000 pounds.
00:07:56You can stop here, Croft.
00:07:58I'll walk the rest of the way.
00:07:59Yeah, let the fish air, you know.
00:08:11Amber, darling heart, sweetest.
00:08:24How long the term is going to seem.
00:08:26Surely you can get back here before next halves.
00:08:30Dear untutored boy, I do have my responsibilities.
00:08:35Give the girls a long weekend, what?
00:08:36After all, Angel, it is your school.
00:08:38Mad grenadier.
00:08:42I adore you like this.
00:08:45All hot from the palace guard.
00:08:54Damn it, I mean to say, who's that?
00:08:56Heaven knows, but you must fly.
00:09:02Darling, your bare skin.
00:09:08Ah, my minister.
00:09:19Amber.
00:09:23Oh, those dustmen.
00:09:25Do come in, darling.
00:09:32Amber, love, I've done it.
00:09:34Horace, darling, and so quickly I can hardly believe it.
00:09:39How much?
00:09:40Yes.
00:09:4240,000.
00:09:4360.
00:09:4470.
00:09:45Not 80.
00:09:47Oh, lovely, wild MP.
00:09:50An awful little me.
00:09:53I thought I was going to have trouble at first,
00:09:55but they're a poor, weak, spirited lot.
00:09:57Oh, you mad Machiavellian minister, you.
00:10:00Oh, Horace, darling, I've seen all sorts of premises.
00:10:04An absolutely grotty place that's been on the market for simply ages.
00:10:07I shall phone the estate agent at once.
00:10:09Yes, steady, love.
00:10:10We haven't got the brass yet.
00:10:12Oh, Horace, really.
00:10:14You're a minister.
00:10:16You can bleed the treasury white.
00:10:18I must gather up all my gallant little band together again.
00:10:22Hello?
00:10:23Is that Baron James?
00:10:24Can I speak to Mr. James, please?
00:10:26Yes, I shall start with Mabel.
00:10:28Mabel is my deputy headmistress, you know.
00:10:31She's due out of her holiday home on Wednesday.
00:10:34What a stroke of luck.
00:10:40Amber!
00:10:42Oh, welcome back to St. Trinian's.
00:10:45Do you know, Amber,
00:10:46I do believe I wouldn't have started this last little charity
00:10:49if I hadn't been so miserably cold in those army huts.
00:10:52I thought it was a wonderful idea.
00:10:54Sunshine home for budges.
00:10:56One of your best, I think.
00:10:57Yes.
00:10:58But no sooner had the kiddies' postal orders started to roll in
00:11:01than bang-bang on the front door
00:11:03and the Rossers were there again.
00:11:04I think they're beginning to recognize your style, dear.
00:11:07Never mind, Spilpilk.
00:11:09We must round up the rest of the mistresses.
00:11:12Now, be careful, Rodney, around the corner.
00:11:14Not to the left, here.
00:11:15Yeah.
00:11:16Now, be careful, Rodney.
00:11:44Oh, my God.
00:12:14Oh, my God.
00:12:44Oh, my God.
00:13:14Oh, my God.
00:13:44Oh, look, Amber.
00:13:53They're griping about us coming here.
00:13:56Oh, that happened to us in Biggles' way two fires ago.
00:14:00It's a cross we have to bear, my dears.
00:14:03Driver, would you just pull up round the corner and be a dear?
00:14:07Veronica, nip out and see what they're up to.
00:14:10Ladies and gentlemen, none of us want Centrillion's.
00:14:15Everyone knows that.
00:14:17And we are determined to keep them out.
00:14:20That is why we have a fighting fund.
00:14:22And I hope you will all contribute generously to it.
00:14:26Two years ago, we successfully blocked the sewage farm.
00:14:32Last year, we stopped them building an open prison.
00:14:38And if any of you has any suggestion.
00:14:43Yes, Mr. Markham.
00:14:44Mr. Chairman, couldn't we have the open prison instead?
00:14:48Three, two, four, six, eight.
00:14:54Shows and Centrillion under the gate.
00:14:57We don't want Centrillion.
00:15:00Ladies and gentlemen,
00:15:03it seems that the fighting fund has been mislaid.
00:15:08Three, five, six and nine.
00:15:11They don't deserve to succeed.
00:15:32Go on, it's right.
00:15:34We'll get out of here.
00:15:51Voila, just to sir's taste.
00:15:55Alphonse, I distinctly asked for a bronze rinse.
00:15:57This is pink.
00:15:58I look like an anemic turkey.
00:16:00Oh, isn't sir a wicked tease?
00:16:02Yes, this is the last mow in Masculine Tonserie,
00:16:05Riviera Peach.
00:16:06I'll show, sir.
00:16:07Why, it hasn't even penetrated the West End yet.
00:16:10Oh, really?
00:16:10No, sir.
00:16:11I had to go to Monty for its unveiling.
00:16:13Did you?
00:16:13Yes, sir.
00:16:14Now, here we are.
00:16:16Vladimir Robofsky of the Paris Ballet,
00:16:18wearing it in Swan Lake.
00:16:20Oh, well, if Vladimir can dance with it in Paris, I...
00:16:24May we?
00:16:25Suppose I can bowl them over on Richmond Green.
00:16:28A bully for sir.
00:16:29If sir will excuse me.
00:16:32Yes.
00:16:36Chips, I'm wanted.
00:16:37Look after Smudger there.
00:16:38I knew whose charm.
00:16:39The bloody die went wrong.
00:16:42Ah, sir.
00:16:43René here will administer the last rites.
00:16:46Oh, thank you.
00:16:46I'm here, Governor.
00:17:10I'm sorry.
00:17:11I was tied up with a client.
00:17:13It's always the same.
00:17:14I've had half a dozen trance receivers
00:17:15installed in your place at enormous expense
00:17:17and you're never in the right spot at the right time.
00:17:18Now, pay attention.
00:17:19Excuse me, Governor.
00:17:20You're a bit loud.
00:17:21Recovery of Windfall will take place tonight.
00:17:23Assemble all personnel for briefing at 6 p.m.
00:17:25I repeat, at 6 p.m.
00:17:30My lords, gentlemen,
00:17:32brief silence for your next speaker.
00:17:34Media General Sir Eustace Chinner,
00:17:36Knight Commander of the Grand Cross of Bath,
00:17:39member of the most noble order of St. John of Jerusalem.
00:17:45Tell him I'll ring him back.
00:17:48Fellow of the Royal Horticultural Society,
00:17:51former dogai of the Variety Club of Malta.
00:17:56Unnaturally, Mrs. Payne, as your bank manager,
00:17:59I'm not suggesting an overdraft of 47 pounds,
00:18:0210 shillings and four pence
00:18:04is a serious menace to the national finances.
00:18:07Nevertheless, there's no denying
00:18:09that the country is short of liquid cash.
00:18:13And so I really must insist
00:18:14that we mark a definite limit to your borrowing.
00:18:16I suggest a figure of...
00:18:20two and a half million.
00:18:25I mean, 25 pounds.
00:18:40First gear now, madam.
00:18:41When the lights change, of course.
00:18:42I have been looking for you everywhere.
00:18:46Cards and sinks.
00:18:47Blimey, it's nearly six o'clock now.
00:18:49Don't sit there meditating.
00:18:50Get aboard.
00:18:51There endeth the first lesson.
00:19:10He's on.
00:19:11All proven correct, Governor.
00:19:21Over.
00:19:23Instructions for the recovery of windfall.
00:19:26The moon and tide are right tonight.
00:19:30HR for embarkation is 0130.
00:19:32H-5, group 1, move to Hammingwell.
00:19:39H-4, group 2, transfer locomotive
00:19:43from Old Branch Line to Hammingwell Halt
00:19:44to await windfall.
00:19:47H-3, group 3, sail up estuary
00:19:51to rendezvous windfall at railhead.
00:19:54H-2, groups 1, 4 and 5 arrive at Hammingwell.
00:19:58H-6, group 2, r développement leads.
00:20:20H-3, group 4, group 4, group 4, group 5, 5.
00:20:23H-4, group 3, pi 1, 5.
00:20:24H-7, group 4, group 4, group 5, 3, stable light
00:20:28It smells of gin.
00:20:40Dry rock, more like it.
00:20:42It's a wonder they can't sell the joint.
00:20:44Fergus, you're the creeps, don't it?
00:20:45What do you see, it's a very old...
00:20:47What are we whispering for? There's no one here.
00:20:50Sort of occupational disease, isn't it?
00:20:52And we can dispense with the wit.
00:20:54Now, come on, let's get on with it.
00:20:58Burglars, we've got burglars!
00:21:04Downstairs!
00:21:05Burglars, help!
00:21:07Hey, girls, there's lots of fellas outside with cars and trucks.
00:21:13She's having a great again.
00:21:14Eleven plus, if you ask me.
00:21:16Oh, just some young bucks visiting the seats.
00:21:18I expect your deal, Veronica.
00:21:23Gracious me, she's right.
00:21:24We've got burglars.
00:21:28It's occupied!
00:21:49Kids!
00:21:50Must be a school!
00:21:51What are we going to do, Alf?
00:21:52Make a grab for it.
00:21:54Right.
00:21:56Give it to them, guys!
00:21:58Here!
00:22:10And where do you think you're going?
00:22:12I'm off.
00:22:13Oh, no, you're not.
00:22:13You get back in there.
00:22:15Are you a bunch of school kids?
00:22:16What?
00:22:18Oh!
00:22:20Go!
00:22:20Go!
00:22:42Oh!
00:22:43Oh!
00:22:44Oh!
00:22:45Oh!
00:22:46Oh!
00:22:47Oh!
00:22:48Oh!
00:22:48Oh, yeah!
00:22:49Oh!
00:22:49hello hello governor are you there yes I'm here
00:23:10there has been a calamity the house is occupied it's been taken over by a girl's school
00:23:16what so why the hell didn't you break your way in well it's it's St Trinian's governor
00:23:25what's happened to him he ain't fainted is he hello governor are you there
00:23:35of course I'm here you fool I'm thinking this means a complete reappraisal
00:23:40it'll take time I'll call you directly I have the answer well I hope it isn't long
00:23:50I've just had the billion from my spanish builders naught right across the framing page what about
00:23:56me I've got the bird out in posse ruddy tarner shacked up in a freestyle hotel stuffing herself
00:24:01for spaghetti talk about being lumbered the auditors are coming to the bank next week
00:24:06why don't you give yourself an overdraft leonard i have done you fool it's just what i have done
00:24:12thank you sir good evening
00:24:20ta da
00:24:30oh dear
00:24:42I'm here, Governor. Over.
00:24:51I've been considering this problem all day.
00:24:54I should have bought that ghastly house.
00:24:56Now, what we need at that school is detailed inside reconnaissance.
00:25:01You've got two daughters, haven't you, Alfred? Can they be trusted?
00:25:04They can if it's bent enough.
00:25:05They must be entered for St Trinian's at once.
00:25:07They aren't public schoolgirls, Governor.
00:25:09Never mind that. I'll produce the references. What are their names?
00:25:12Well, the ten-year-old's Lavinia. But look here, Governor.
00:25:15They'll never get...
00:25:21If anyone asks me, Dad, you ain't seen me. You don't know nothing. See?
00:25:32That was Lavinia, Governor. This can't possibly work.
00:25:36I'm the judge of that.
00:25:37All you need tell them is that a friend of yours who's inside hid some loot in the school.
00:25:41Now, what's the name of the eldest girl?
00:25:44Marcia Mary.
00:25:47Just a second, Governor.
00:25:48It's me again, Governor. That was Marcia.
00:26:08I want your two girls fitted out for an interview with the headmistress on Wednesday.
00:26:13As far as she is concerned, they must appear ordinary, respectable kids.
00:26:17What, Lavinia and Marcia?
00:26:19God, help us.
00:26:21The slightest suspicion would endanger the whole operation.
00:26:24You understand that, Alfred?
00:26:27Good night.
00:26:29Good night, Governor.
00:26:29And what have we here?
00:26:51All in wrestling?
00:26:52Look, I know it's natural growing up and all that jazz,
00:26:54but get off my sofa and turn this car off.
00:26:57Oh, leave us alone, Dad.
00:26:59Can't you see me and Monty's getting groovy?
00:27:01Oh!
00:27:02Yeah, get back to your air dryer, mate.
00:27:04Look, we don't have any sauce from a BBC bottle washer.
00:27:07That is not fair, Dad.
00:27:09Monty's a junior canteen operative at TV Centre.
00:27:12Oh, is he?
00:27:13Oh.
00:27:14Yeah, I'm a tea distributor to the higher executives.
00:27:17Oh, no more, you know.
00:27:18I took a cup of tea up to old Malcolm Muggeridge this morning
00:27:20while he was rehearsing his impromptu's.
00:27:22Oh, Malcolm?
00:27:23Oh!
00:27:23Oh, while you were there, you should have borrowed a quid from him
00:27:25to pay for that rinse you had here last week.
00:27:28Dad, did you come in here just to talk money?
00:27:30No, I did not.
00:27:31I came to tell you I'm sending you away to school.
00:27:33School?
00:27:34Yeah, school.
00:27:35What the hell for?
00:27:36To get you away from Dolce Vita here, for a start.
00:27:39Hey, what's wrong with me?
00:27:40Just because I'm a trendsetter?
00:27:42You look more like a bleeding Irish setter to me.
00:27:44What's all this about school?
00:27:46Am I going too?
00:27:47I'm sending you both to a boarding school.
00:27:49It's a posh school for girls
00:27:50where you'll have to dress properly and wash.
00:27:53Wash?
00:27:53Yes, wash.
00:27:54One of our science producers told me washing can be very harmful.
00:27:58Would you mind clearing out and leaving us alone, Dolce?
00:28:01Coming here with your hair down to your navel?
00:28:03Oh, wouldn't have it cut here anyway.
00:28:04Square.
00:28:05Square?
00:28:06The only hairdresser in West London to get a silver diploma
00:28:09for his Lance Harvey cut.
00:28:11Like I said.
00:28:12Square.
00:28:13You know that.
00:28:14Buffoon.
00:28:16Right.
00:28:17Now I can talk.
00:28:19You're going to this school for a reason.
00:28:21What reason?
00:28:22A pal of mine's hidden some loot there
00:28:24and you're going to case the joint.
00:28:26Want any for us?
00:28:27Oh, yes.
00:28:27I thought that would be coming.
00:28:29The trouble with you two is you've added too much your own way.
00:28:32Ever since you're marven off with that milkman.
00:28:34This school will do you good.
00:28:35It'll knock some discipline into you.
00:28:37It'll teach you to get your values right.
00:28:41Well, you seem to have made a very nice job of it, Harry.
00:28:43It really does look quite dedicated.
00:28:46Oh, yeah.
00:28:47We'll use free buckets.
00:28:49It's solid like a bank, isn't it?
00:28:51Here, come and have a deco inside.
00:28:52You know, Amph, ever since I joined St. Tees as a boot boy,
00:28:59I don't think I've ever been so happy.
00:29:00God bless the Ministry of Schools.
00:29:02May the grants go on forever.
00:29:03And ever.
00:29:05Amen.
00:29:05Special department for the kids.
00:29:07Private entrance from the drive.
00:29:09How absolutely charming.
00:29:11And all different sizes.
00:29:13Yeah.
00:29:14Come for me in a flash.
00:29:15Sixth form, fifth form, low one for the tiny tots.
00:29:17Well, I mean, they want to see what they're losing, don't they?
00:29:19Poor little perishers.
00:29:22Ah, our educational supplies at last.
00:29:24Come and see the lovely things I've bought, Harry.
00:29:33Put that one outside the fourth form lavatory mag, dear.
00:29:38Or better still inside it.
00:29:40Oh.
00:29:41No.
00:29:41The school library, Harry.
00:29:50Oh, Albertine, darling, don't forget to divide them into classical and non-classical.
00:29:59Do you really think you're going to get away with all this, Amph?
00:30:02My dear Harry, amongst other things, this place is listed as an ancient monument.
00:30:07What?
00:30:07What, betting shop and all?
00:30:08Yes, Strawberry Hill Gothic.
00:30:11At least it was.
00:30:12Oh, I should be all right for my float, then.
00:30:14How about 500 and it could be going on with it?
00:30:16I haven't even got 500 pence.
00:30:18All my bills go directly to the ministry.
00:30:21Why don't you sell your alpine car?
00:30:24What?
00:30:25Flog my status symbol?
00:30:26No fear.
00:30:27How about the fees?
00:30:28I mean, some of the parents must have paid, mustn't they?
00:30:30Hi, Amber.
00:30:33When you've done chatting up flash, there's a creep downstairs with two square kids.
00:30:36Thank you, Lucy, dear.
00:30:38Would you like to show him up?
00:30:39Those kids come in here?
00:30:41It depends.
00:30:42I'm going to interview them.
00:30:45Caw.
00:30:45Hope I can get my hand on that little twit.
00:30:49I am.
00:30:50These kids.
00:30:51Their old man might have some readies, eh?
00:30:52If he has, Harry, I shall have them.
00:30:54Come on.
00:30:55All I want is 200, Nick, and I'll open in time for a big meeting at Chalmers, see?
00:30:58Yes, now, see what I can do, dear.
00:31:00And I can say no more than an hour.
00:31:21Ah.
00:31:21Ah.
00:31:22Mr. Ascot, is it not?
00:31:23Indeed it is, madam.
00:31:24I am Amber Spottiswood.
00:31:27Would you like to come in?
00:31:30Welcome to St. Trinian's.
00:31:34Now, may I present Marcia, Mary, and Lavinia?
00:31:39An honour to meet you, ma'am.
00:31:41What enchanting manners.
00:31:44They were at a private seminary, no doubt.
00:31:47Oh, all too private, I'm afraid.
00:31:49The poor lambs were only receiving the three R's, so to speak.
00:31:53Oh, well, it's always nice to have your R's to fall back on, I always say.
00:31:57Would you like to sit down?
00:31:58Oh, thank you.
00:31:59Uh, where shall I put this?
00:32:02Uh, there.
00:32:04Ah, there we are.
00:32:07Now, please don't misunderstand me, Mr. Ascot.
00:32:10But do I take it that their mummy has some passed on?
00:32:14Oh, well.
00:32:15To the milkman, madam.
00:32:17Well, their references are absolutely splendid.
00:32:22An admiral and a bishop.
00:32:24Ah.
00:32:26According to the admiral, they seem to have spent rather a lot of time at sea.
00:32:31And according to the bishop, the rest of the time in church.
00:32:34Lambeth Palace.
00:32:35Dear Nicholas.
00:32:36Well, the sea and afraid we cannot offer you.
00:32:41But I do set great store by our outdoor activities, games and healthy sports.
00:32:47Now, tell me, what are your favourite subjects?
00:32:50I know eyesies, madam.
00:32:52Oh, our girls are frankly keen on that, too.
00:32:56Our biology classes are madly popular.
00:32:59And what is your favourite subject?
00:33:02Motorbikes.
00:33:02Motorbikes.
00:33:04Motorbikes.
00:33:05Oh, is that so?
00:33:06Afraid we haven't got one of those here yet.
00:33:09But we're fitting billiard tables into the old chapel.
00:33:12And a trampoline in the late Dowager Duchess's bedroom.
00:33:16Oh, come and see, we're brimming over with plans.
00:33:19There you see our tennis courts.
00:33:21Oh, yes.
00:33:23You get a better idea through this.
00:33:25Oh, thank you.
00:33:28I see.
00:33:29A present from Brighton.
00:33:30From a grateful parent on the marine parade.
00:33:34Well, I can't see a thing.
00:33:36Silly, you've forgotten to put your sixpence in.
00:33:43Of course, at the moment, the tennis court is just a gleam in my chauffeur gardener handyman's eye.
00:33:48Do you think you'll last that long?
00:33:51And over there, you see our swimming pool.
00:33:53Oh, yes.
00:33:57It stops a little short of Wembley, doesn't it?
00:34:00Well, of course, we are trying to get something a little bit more ambitious.
00:34:04Such as a hip bath, perhaps.
00:34:06Tell me, would there be any chance of my dear children savouring these delights?
00:34:11Well, of course, there's a terrifyingly long waiting list.
00:34:14But, of course, I do try to make room for children of exceptional talents.
00:34:31Quite a haul.
00:34:33You thieving little swine!
00:34:35Just too much like it, you ome!
00:34:37Ah, born within the sound of bow bells.
00:34:39Well, I think we understand each other, Mr. Ascot.
00:34:41Well, anyway, that cuts the cackle, doesn't it?
00:34:43The thing is, will you take them?
00:34:44Of course, they'll fit in here perfectly.
00:34:46Yes, I think they will.
00:34:47My fees are 200 a term each.
00:34:50Guineas, of course.
00:34:51Well, that's a nice round sum, isn't it?
00:34:53Can they start Friday?
00:34:54I don't see why not.
00:34:55Right, good.
00:34:56Now, come on, you two, home.
00:34:59Oh, Mr. Ascot, I forgot to mention that I do offer a substantial discount for spot cash.
00:35:03Oh, how much?
00:35:05Ten percent.
00:35:05Ten?
00:35:06Twenty.
00:35:07Twenty.
00:35:07Right, hold those.
00:35:09Now, let's see what we've got here.
00:35:10Oh, that'll do to be going on with.
00:35:12I'll send you a receipt later.
00:35:14And I'll send you the kids.
00:35:15Yes.
00:35:15Oh, you will, of course, get another bill later for the usual extras.
00:35:19Extras?
00:35:20Such as dancing, pianoforte, lighting, heating, and, of course, food.
00:35:24I'll see the little darlings on Friday, then.
00:35:26I'll see you.
00:35:37Full house.
00:35:38Four aces.
00:35:39Sorry.
00:35:42How familiar.
00:35:43Your little hello to the new girl seems to have boomerangs.
00:35:46Nice little girls, aren't they?
00:36:04They didn't give me no trouble.
00:36:06Oh, well, I suppose we'd better go and case the joint for the old man.
00:36:12We'll start with Amber's study first, shall we?
00:36:20There are gentlemen, the darlings.
00:36:23She has quite fast.
00:36:24Nine.
00:36:24Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:25Nine.
00:36:26Nine.
00:36:26Nine.
00:36:27Nine.
00:36:27Nine.
00:36:28Nine.
00:36:29Nine.
00:36:30Nine.
00:36:31Nine.
00:36:32Nine.
00:36:33Nine.
00:36:34Nine.
00:36:35Nine.
00:36:36Nine.
00:36:37Nine.
00:36:38Nine.
00:36:39Nine.
00:36:40Nine.
00:36:41Nine.
00:36:42Nine.
00:36:43Nine.
00:36:44Nine.
00:36:45Nine.
00:36:46Nine.
00:36:47Nine.
00:36:48Nine.
00:36:49Nine.
00:36:50Nine.
00:36:51Nine.
00:36:52Nine.
00:36:53Nine.
00:36:54Nine.
00:36:55Nine.
00:36:56Nine.
00:36:57Nine.
00:36:58Nine.
00:36:59Nine.
00:37:00Nine.
00:37:01Nine.
00:37:02Nine.
00:37:03Nine.
00:37:04Nine.
00:37:05Nine.
00:37:06parent's day on the 30th. Make it up that date, lad. Come on, quick. Hang on.
00:37:17Holey! A medley card. The Morris dancers? Oh, you've got them. Marvellous. They'll be
00:37:41simply perfect for parent's day. We'll have them in the meadow. I mean, if you're going
00:37:46to be madly pastoral, let's not horse around indoors. What? Thank you so much, Medlicott.
00:37:53Goodbye. Jam again. Didn't the other girls tell you? Everything of the slightest value
00:38:08is locked up in my safe. Goodnight, you naive little creatures.
00:38:16Here we go.
00:38:32Get the Wolfinge out!
00:38:38Emmerdale calling Toupé. Emmerdale calling Toupé. Hello, Dad. It's Marcia reporting. Here, we found out something. They're going to have a parent's day here on the 30th.
00:38:59Yes, on the 30th, Governor. The kids saw the caterer's estimates, and they're holding it in the grounds.
00:39:05So everybody should be outside. Good. Caterer's estimates, did you say? Ask your girls to give me particulars of the lowest ten of the schools received, and call me back.
00:39:15Right, Governor.
00:39:20Their menu sounds absolutely excellent. Chicken and smoked salmon, and champagne, 15 shillings a bottle, and they actually supply an experienced Toastmaster.
00:39:30And if my arithmetic is right, their estimate is 40 pounds less than the bell-in's.
00:39:35And on paper, it's better value.
00:39:37Yes, but of course, we do know the bell-in food.
00:39:39Oh, to hell with the food, dear. 40 quid's 40 quid will engage this part more firm, charge the bell-in prices, and split the 40 quid between us.
00:39:47I hadn't thought of that.
00:39:49Oh, how very sensible.
00:39:53Pickles! Pickles!
00:39:55Pickles! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle! Pickle
00:40:25Is Billy Barr a favourite for the next?
00:40:45It was at the last show.
00:40:46Georgie, you take this.
00:40:47What is it, Rose?
00:40:48Half-crown Yankee.
00:40:49Fifty quid to win.
00:40:50Eh?
00:40:51Say that again?
00:40:52You heard.
00:40:53Fifty nickel on the nose.
00:40:54Yeah.
00:40:55Where'd you get all that folding stuff?
00:40:56My Aunt Flores just croaked.
00:40:57She left me a packet.
00:40:58Straight up.
00:40:59Okay.
00:41:00She must have pinched them.
00:41:01Where from?
00:41:02There ain't a brass farvin' in a school.
00:41:03Not in Reddy's.
00:41:04Where could she have got it from, then?
00:41:05Well, she didn't make them here.
00:41:07I suggest you leave this entirely to me, Butters.
00:41:10I don't know what to do.
00:41:11I don't know what to do.
00:41:12I don't know what to do.
00:41:13I don't know what to do.
00:41:14I don't know what to do.
00:41:15I don't know what to do.
00:41:16I don't know what to do.
00:41:17I don't know what to do.
00:41:18I don't know what to do.
00:41:19I don't know what to do.
00:41:23Doesn't pay to be emotional.
00:41:24I'll try that, sir.
00:41:25I'll try.
00:41:26The minister will see you now.
00:41:28Wait a minute.
00:41:29Give me a few minutes.
00:41:32What's your problem?
00:41:33Come on.
00:41:34Come on.
00:41:35Well, minister, we're rather disturbed at the type of supplier some Trinians are buying from.
00:41:39What do you mean, exactly?
00:41:41Well, sir, to begin with, there's the Nature Book Company.
00:41:44Botany, I presume?
00:41:45What's wrong with that?
00:41:46What indeed, sir?
00:41:47Mad about botany.
00:41:48The nature isn't natural nature, sir.
00:41:49It's human nature, sir.
00:41:50If you know what I mean, sir.
00:41:51Well, there you are.
00:41:52Health and fitness.
00:41:53Crying need in schools these days.
00:41:54Have you never heard of the body beautiful?
00:41:55Eh, Blackwood?
00:41:56Mad about PT, sir.
00:41:57It's not only that, sir.
00:41:58Take the Soho Automatic Machine Company.
00:41:59All they had in their showrooms were fruit machines, I assure you, sir.
00:42:01Well, they could sell other stuff, I suppose.
00:42:02Let's see the account.
00:42:03Yes, sir.
00:42:04Here's the invoice.
00:42:05It says there, laboratory equipment.
00:42:07It may say that, sir.
00:42:08What the devil are you fussing about?
00:42:09Miss Spottiswood is a modern, progressive headmistress.
00:42:11All you can do is behave like a couple of petty-minded, muckraking, nosy Parkers.
00:42:13Yes, it's really too bad.
00:42:14The minister's time is extremely valuable.
00:42:15I've told you before about this sort of fruitling complaint.
00:42:16Now, come along.
00:42:17Come on.
00:42:18Come on.
00:42:19Come on.
00:42:20Come on.
00:42:21Come on.
00:42:22Come on.
00:42:23Come on.
00:42:24Come on.
00:42:25Come on.
00:42:26Come on.
00:42:27Come on.
00:42:28Come on.
00:42:29Come on.
00:42:30Come on.
00:42:31Come on.
00:42:32Come on.
00:42:33Come on.
00:42:34Come on.
00:42:35Come on.
00:42:36Give me a line.
00:42:37Any luck, sir?
00:42:38Ghastly.
00:42:39He wouldn't listen to a word.
00:42:40What you want is photographic evidence.
00:42:42What do you mean, Liftman?
00:42:43Go to the school and photograph everything.
00:42:44He may be right, Butters.
00:42:45The camera cannot lie.
00:42:46I say, I thought he could bring a thing like that to me.
00:42:47You know what?
00:42:48You know what?
00:42:49You know what?
00:42:50You know what?
00:42:51You know what?
00:42:52You know what?
00:42:53You know what?
00:42:54You know what?
00:42:55You know what?
00:42:56You know what?
00:42:57You know what?
00:42:58You know what?
00:42:59You know what?
00:43:00You know what?
00:43:01You know what?
00:43:02I say, I thought he could bring a thing like that.
00:43:05I wouldn't mind coming meself, sir.
00:43:06I've got a camera.
00:43:07You know?
00:43:08I think I'll do it.
00:43:09I really do.
00:43:10I used to do a bit of photography meself, sir.
00:43:13Sepia portraits of the wife in her chemise.
00:43:15Things like that.
00:43:16Then she went and joined the Salvation Army.
00:43:19Well, I'll get you some lovely pictures, sir.
00:43:21I'll just go for it.
00:43:22Miss Brenner, find out time to change to Hammingwell.
00:43:25Mr. Butters, you can't go to that terrible place.
00:43:27You mustn't.
00:43:28I must, Nellie.
00:43:29It's my duty.
00:43:32What courage!
00:43:35Hello.
00:43:36Is that St Trinian's?
00:43:37Put me through to Miss Spottiswood.
00:43:47Hello, darling!
00:43:49I thought I ought to tell you, my love, I've just had my heads of department in about some of your, er, purchases.
00:43:56I don't know what you've been buying, but do please try to remember.
00:43:59It's supposed to be an educational grant.
00:44:01Are you trying to bully me, Horace?
00:44:04Of course not.
00:44:05But do please be careful.
00:44:07After all, there's such a lot at stake.
00:44:11What's that music?
00:44:12A tango, darling.
00:44:14Do you remember you and I at the Tower Ballroom Blackpool?
00:44:19Aye, the party conference.
00:44:21That time we set out floor four together.
00:44:24Shall I ever forget?
00:44:25Goodbye, Horace, heavenly heart.
00:44:28Goodbye, too.
00:44:29Oh, my God.
00:44:59Ten grand for two and a half million?
00:45:15How mean can you get?
00:45:17Oh, come on, Butters, quickly, but why?
00:45:19Do my best, Bassett.
00:45:21Mr. Bassett, give me hoist.
00:45:29What's that?
00:45:38What's that?
00:45:38Bassett, look in there.
00:46:07Mail it to them, person.
00:46:12What, here?
00:46:15It's an orange here.
00:46:17We simply must get a picture of this.
00:46:19See, Larry, rightly since my sister's wedding.
00:46:23A photograph of these excesses could wear unmasked as old, sordid imposture.
00:46:27Oh, it's too good to be true.
00:46:29Oh, get up, move on.
00:46:30Two more questions, Mr. Bassett.
00:46:32Come and help me with that.
00:46:32Oh, let me know.
00:46:33Now, come on, look lively, you now.
00:46:35What, what?
00:46:36What, I really have no experience.
00:46:38Ah, gosh.
00:46:39Oh, gosh, you should see what's going on here.
00:46:41Get your thing up.
00:46:42Well, come on.
00:46:43All right.
00:46:44Come on, you two.
00:46:48Give us a bump.
00:46:50Come on, you're blind.
00:46:52Now, get on.
00:46:53Up you go.
00:46:54Oh, carefully.
00:46:54All right.
00:46:55Get on.
00:46:56The great thing is speed.
00:46:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, hurry up.
00:47:08Get a move on.
00:47:09Don't fluster me, Mr. Bassett.
00:47:11You fluster me.
00:47:12I'll get a proper picture.
00:47:14Give me that.
00:47:15Okay.
00:47:20What are you stopping and listening for?
00:47:23Why did you call them the git-hot?
00:47:24Say when.
00:47:31You lot from the people, making another fearless expose.
00:47:35Here, I'll pick.
00:47:36Go on.
00:47:38Win.
00:47:39There are bad.
00:47:42Oh, my Lord.
00:47:44Oh, my boy.
00:47:45It's a camera.
00:47:46Oh, my Lord.
00:47:47Little girl, which is the way to the headmistress' stud?
00:47:50Amber's pad.
00:47:52Round the corner, third door.
00:47:53Round the corner, third door.
00:47:54Oh, come on.
00:47:55Oh, well.
00:47:56Okay.
00:47:56Okay.
00:48:00Who do you reckon they are?
00:48:02Must be the bums again.
00:48:04What do you want to see the headmistress for?
00:48:07Now we have the evidence, we must confront her.
00:48:09Give her fair warning that her wicked empire is collapsing about her ears.
00:48:13Girls, we've just told you.
00:48:17Minister.
00:48:18Oh, Mr. Gapper.
00:48:20What the hell are you fellas doing here?
00:48:22Who gave you authority?
00:48:23You wouldn't listen to us, Minister.
00:48:25We were determined to bring you proof.
00:48:27What do you think I'm doing here?
00:48:29Officially, I came down for Parents' Day tomorrow.
00:48:31Well, officially, I'm finding out what's going on.
00:48:33And just while I'm about to bring this headmistress to book you...
00:48:36Darling, lovely, untamed egghead, get rid of those silly girls and flutter back to your lady moth.
00:48:47That headmistress must be his concubine.
00:48:50Oh, for the sake.
00:48:53Why, Lord Hampton, I'm ruined.
00:48:55They were my two heads of department.
00:48:58Oh, well, why didn't you say so, my darling?
00:49:01What do you think?
00:49:03What do you think?
00:49:03You must get rid of this silly thing.
00:49:06Hello, girls.
00:49:07What do you want, Anne?
00:49:09Oh, I'm so sorry to disturb you, my darlings, but there are some nasty men sneaking about the place,
00:49:15trying to put an end to our happy days.
00:49:18Dispose of them, would you, my darlings?
00:49:21With what we know now, he's bound to resign.
00:49:24It means the end of his parliamentary career.
00:49:25Let Paulie kick him upstairs to the House of Lords.
00:49:36Allow ten minutes to transfer Windfall to Hammingwell Holt.
00:49:40Leave Holt at 1500 hours.
00:49:43You will then be switched to the main line that will be clear between 1510 and 1555.
00:49:50Proceed through Ford Bridge Station, using duplicate lever to disused line to Brides Bay.
00:49:56Join boat there at 1620.
00:49:59Cast off, 1640.
00:50:03Now to recap.
00:50:05At 1100 hours on Parent's Day, our catering van will arrive at St Trinian's.
00:50:09The weather forecast says it's going to be fine, and we know what that means.
00:50:26The weather forecast says it's going to be fine, and we know what that means.
00:50:38They're in Bundles Park Bank of Scotland, Mr. Doakes.
00:50:45My name is Noakes, not Doakes.
00:50:48That's what I said, Mr. Doakes.
00:50:50I can't understand a word he's saying.
00:50:52Are you eating something?
00:50:53No, I've got to have the doids.
00:50:54I said they're in Bundles Park Bank of Scotland.
00:50:57The number on this wrapper is 645X.
00:51:06645X.
00:51:08645X.
00:51:09645X.
00:51:10It's there.
00:51:16Where can I meet you, Mr...
00:51:18The name's Marples.
00:51:22Here.
00:51:22You know the Rosencrant at West Oak, Ants?
00:51:25Can you be there a couple of hours?
00:51:27Yes, I think so, Mr. Marples.
00:51:29How shall I know you?
00:51:31I'll be wearing a pink carnation, so it can't be no mistake.
00:51:35See ya.
00:51:35Get back on the queue!
00:51:58What do you mean, Mr. Parker?
00:51:59You haven't paid for over a year.
00:52:01I've only got 50 quid on me.
00:52:02Oh, that'll do what to be going on, then.
00:52:04Look here.
00:52:04Next, please.
00:52:06Oh, Mr. Badge, out already.
00:52:08He must have been a good boy.
00:52:11Give generously to save pussy from the fire.
00:52:13Ah, buzz off, I'm scared.
00:52:27Eyes down.
00:52:31Let Madam Malvertine tell your fortune.
00:52:33Sir, I see you are a business man.
00:52:38Tired.
00:52:39Nespa?
00:52:41Nespa.
00:52:50Cool.
00:52:51What you got there?
00:52:52Take your hands off that.
00:52:53It's one of those instant cameras.
00:52:55Ah!
00:52:55Now push off.
00:52:57I'm on business.
00:52:57Yes.
00:53:27Here, Mr. Noakes.
00:53:30That's right. Can I get you a drink?
00:53:32Don't waste time, Mr. Noakes. This is too hot to hold.
00:53:35I'm the only geezer by the villains who knows where this load of lot is stashed.
00:53:39By the villains, I said. And they'll be coming back to pick it up soon.
00:53:42So I reckon what I know is worth a packet, Mr. Noakes.
00:53:46The advertised reward is ten thousand pounds.
00:53:48Chicken feed, Mr. Noakes. Chicken feed. That's not a reward. That's a deterrent.
00:53:51What had you in mind?
00:53:53Ten percent. Usual agent's fee.
00:53:55Two hundred and fifty thousand pounds.
00:53:58Or near offer.
00:54:00Mr. Marples.
00:54:02Who's he? Oh, yeah. Yeah?
00:54:04Any such sum is entirely out of the question.
00:54:07All right. You don't know me.
00:54:10You'd never recognise me again without my disguise.
00:54:13I got a fast car outside. False number plates. Disappearing to thin air.
00:54:18Harry Hacker, didn't he? Then where are you? Hey?
00:54:22Oh, I didn't recognise you with them black peepers on.
00:54:25Here. Meet the new wife. This is Harry. Flash, they call them. It's an trillions.
00:54:29We're just going over there now, Flash. See you there, eh?
00:54:32Oh, thank you very much, Mr. Hackett. That's all I really wanted to know.
00:54:36Yeah, no. Just a minute, Mr. Noakes. A joke's a joke.
00:54:39Mr. Noakes!
00:54:41Hey, Mr. Noakes! Don't you want to hear my last word, Mr. Noakes?
00:54:48Time check three. On target, Governor. All going smoothly.
00:54:55Not so smoothly as you think, Alfred. Listen carefully.
00:54:59I've just learnt that Noakes, the insurance assessor, has been seen near the school, talking to an unknown man.
00:55:06If Noakes comes to the school today, he must be eliminated.
00:55:09Yes. Pardon?
00:55:12I said eliminated.
00:55:14I see.
00:55:18But how do we know what he looks like?
00:55:20If you press buttons X and M in that order, Alfred, you will receive a radio photograph of Noakes.
00:55:25And be careful with that camera, Alfred. It cost a fortune to convert.
00:55:31X, M.
00:55:32I can see. I can see.
00:55:34Are you there, Horace, my love bird? A simply wonderful hall, and with the bar and bingo still to come.
00:55:50Four hundred and twenty pounds and the odd silver. It's an absolute record for Parents' Day, and without the slightest hint of any violence.
00:55:58Amber, I'm worried about my two heads of department. What are they going to see when they get back?
00:56:02Oh, my darling lusty lad. You do fret so. My six form girls will take care of them. A few interestingly posed pictures. You know the sort of thing.
00:56:15But that's blackmail.
00:56:16Of course, darling.
00:56:19Luncheon. Oh, do hurry, Horace Lankin. Otherwise a smoked salmon will go all curly.
00:56:32There we are.
00:56:42Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Good afternoon to you. Lovely weather. Marvellous.
00:56:50Here. I know you, don't I?
00:56:52And you go far, I used to go to Catford Dogs with my old man.
00:56:55A cup of dogs? I ain't never been next to Park Lane, miss.
00:56:58What's that knocking? Something wrong with your water pipes?
00:57:13That'll be your gnomes from the Ministry blundering about in the cellarage.
00:57:22Oh, this must lead somewhere.
00:57:24We've only got a couple of matches left.
00:57:26And now, ladies and gentlemen, after the opening speech from our splendid minister, there will be Morris dancing sponsored by our beloved arts council.
00:57:38Then the fourth warm choir will sing The Ball of Kirimure, followed by Maypole dancing and Strip the Willow.
00:57:47I'm not playing.
00:57:49Be quiet, Willow Metcalf.
00:57:51And, of course, our refreshment tense motto is, we never close.
00:58:01Thank you, Miss Amber Spottiswood, Bachelor of Arts.
00:58:05And now, Your Worship, ladies and gentlemen, pray proceed to the playing fields for the opening ceremony.
00:58:17Come on, boys. Come, blimey.
00:58:21Come on, boys. Come, blimey.
00:58:29Oy, oy. Some kids lick my transmitter.
00:58:32Blimey.
00:58:33Oh, you're an old cockpit from the governor.
00:58:35From the governor.
00:58:42Your Worship, ladies and gentlemen, pray silence for the Right Honourable Horace Bradford, PCMP, Minister of State.
00:58:55Your Worship, ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon.
00:59:00My little thought, when I was invited to this progressive school.
00:59:07Medium's feelings clear now.
00:59:08Lady Jane's lying second with Man of Arran.
00:59:10Then comes Hot and Toddy.
00:59:11This, uh, progressive school.
00:59:13And Love and War.
00:59:14They're coming up tonight.
00:59:16Bastion.
00:59:17Love and War.
00:59:18They're coming up tonight.
00:59:19What's coming now?
00:59:20Love and War.
00:59:21They're coming up now.
00:59:22Inspiring.
00:59:23They're coming up from water.
00:59:25They're coming up from water.
00:59:26They're coming together.
00:59:28Thank you so much, Mr. Minister, for your scintillating opening.
00:59:56And now due to the weather, the Morris dancing will take place indoors.
01:00:01It's only a passing charm, madam.
01:00:03Due to the weather, the rest of the programme will take place within the bowl and forthwith.
01:00:08Would you bring your chairs with him, ladies and gentlemen?
01:00:10It's only a passing charm, madam.
01:00:21They're coming back.
01:00:26What's up?
01:00:28They're coming back.
01:00:32What do we do now?
01:00:33Make sure nobody gets back here.
01:00:35I told them it was only a passing shower.
01:00:37Jim, come on, hurry up.
01:00:38Oh, get out of the way!
01:00:40Where's he going?
01:00:41Oh, the fool!
01:00:42Is that the police station?
01:00:46This is Harry Hackett, St Trinian speaking.
01:00:48Now, listen carefully.
01:00:50I know where to lay my hands on the train robbery loop and I am claiming the official reward.
01:00:55Got it?
01:00:56You're the eleventh claimant we've had since they offered a reward.
01:01:00And that's only this county.
01:01:02I'll make a note of it.
01:01:04Hello?
01:01:05Hello?
01:01:06Hello?
01:01:07Hello?
01:01:08Here, Harry, what do you think of this?
01:01:10Lucy's dad just gave it to her.
01:01:11You'll have to flog it.
01:01:12Not now, not now.
01:01:13I'm not interested in cameras outside photo finishes.
01:01:15Hello.
01:01:16Hello.
01:01:17Is that you, Alfred?
01:01:18I've been trying to get you for over an hour.
01:01:20What's that?
01:01:21Here, get off the line, will you?
01:01:22Here, Harry, it's on here, not there.
01:01:23What is?
01:01:24Oh, look, it's got a radio as well.
01:01:25What is it?
01:01:26Have you forgotten yet, Alfred?
01:01:27Which buttons to press?
01:01:28Button C.
01:01:29Go on, Harry, try it.
01:01:30No.
01:01:31You try it.
01:01:32Hello?
01:01:33Can you hear me?
01:01:34Correction to time schedule.
01:01:35Your train must leave Hammingwell Halt five minutes earlier, because the main down line
01:01:41will now only be clear until 1550.
01:01:42Secondly, the unknown man seen talking to the assessor Noakes has now been identified.
01:01:47Unknown man?
01:01:48Noakes?
01:01:49No.
01:01:50No.
01:01:51No.
01:01:52No.
01:01:53No.
01:01:54No.
01:01:55No.
01:01:56No.
01:01:57No.
01:01:58No.
01:01:59No.
01:02:00No.
01:02:01No.
01:02:02No.
01:02:03No.
01:02:23Oh, oh, blimey, it's me.
01:02:32And now, Your Worship, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me simply enormous pleasure to present
01:02:42those sterling resuscitators of ancient tradition, the Westminster Morris Men.
01:02:57Ladies and gentlemen, we shall dance for you, Queen's Delight.
01:03:02They're on. Keep at it.
01:03:13Fifteen-fifty? That means they'd have to be away from Abingwell by heart bars free.
01:03:19They must be here now.
01:03:21That waiter! I knew I knew him! It's them caterers.
01:03:26Caterers? Blimey! Come on!
01:03:30No, no, he'll cook you.
01:03:32He'll help me.
01:03:48Hey!
01:03:49Hey!
01:03:57You can't stop, faster.
01:04:00You killed yourself!
01:04:05What about here?
01:04:06Right!
01:04:08I got it!
01:04:09I got it!
01:04:10I got it!
01:04:15Hey, what?
01:04:19Hey!
01:04:20Hey!
01:04:21Hey!
01:04:23Hey!
01:04:24Man!
01:04:28Hey!
01:04:29Hey!
01:04:30Hey!
01:04:32Keep dancing our explainer to 32 bars don't stand there ossified dance
01:05:02I know that fish, surely
01:05:32Oh
01:05:42Wait a minute, you ain't here
01:05:44I ain't no idea
01:05:45Don't fight here
01:05:46We're making a pincer move. You lot go round the back.
01:06:01I'll take him, Harry. Leave it to me.
01:06:03Okay. The rest of us, we'll rush to front.
01:06:05Yeah!
01:06:06Ready, goes. Charge!
01:06:16What is it?
01:06:22What is it?
01:06:23It's the caterers. They're the train robbers.
01:06:25Caterers? Never.
01:06:27Good gracious.
01:06:31I'm going to claim the reward.
01:06:40Look, there they go.
01:06:42I've got the alpine outside. We'll beat them to the main line.
01:06:45Here, kids, get your bikes out.
01:06:46Yeah, we can beat you a car from the car park.
01:07:00All right.
01:07:01All right.
01:07:06Is there the police station?
01:07:08My name is Airbus Potterswood, headmistresses and trinians,
01:07:11and I would like to claim the train robbery reward.
01:07:15That makes number 12, Mum.
01:07:18I'll make a note of it.
01:07:20Thank you, Mum.
01:07:22Hello.
01:07:23Oh, dear, I've been cut off.
01:07:25Amber, what's going on here?
01:07:26What do you mean, what's going on?
01:07:28What do you mean?
01:07:28Yeah, look.
01:07:28Come on.
01:07:29Come on.
01:07:43Oh, gracious.
01:07:43Hello, sir.
01:08:00I'm ringing urgently about that train robbery.
01:08:02You'll be claiming the reward, I take it?
01:08:04Claiming it, man? I'm giving it.
01:08:06I'm Edward Noakes, insurance successor for the robbery.
01:08:09The two and a half million pounds you're looking for has just left St Trinian's School.
01:08:12I'll make a note of it.
01:08:18Hello! Charlie!
01:08:20Have they got the money in the train?
01:08:22In St Trinian's? Hello!
01:08:42All right? Yes!
01:08:44To the Ministry with all speed!
01:08:46All right? Yes!
01:08:47To the Ministry with all speed!
01:08:49Ah! Caught you red-handed!
01:08:50What's all this, officer?
01:08:51What's all this, officer?
01:08:52What's all this, officer?
01:08:53What's all this about?
01:08:54Oh, I've got a little missile!
01:09:04I say, officer, you let me go!
01:09:06You don't seem to realize!
01:09:08What?
01:09:09Oh, I know!
01:09:10You call this to me or a civil servant!
01:09:12Oh!
01:09:13Officer! Officer!
01:09:14Officer!
01:09:15We're for the military!
01:09:16Oh!
01:09:17Mr. Mercy!
01:09:18It's the careful!
01:09:20Oh!
01:09:21Oh!
01:09:22So it is!
01:09:23He can vouch for us, can't you, sir?
01:09:25Can you, sir?
01:09:26Can you, sir?
01:09:27I've never seen these men before in my life!
01:09:31Judas!
01:09:32Come on!
01:09:33Move in!
01:09:34Oh!
01:09:35Come on!
01:09:36Come on!
01:09:42That's a lot!
01:09:43Hold on!
01:09:56They're making for the main line!
01:09:57We'll go to Brayton's signal box and see if we can stop them by Olcott Wood!
01:10:04Straight on!
01:10:05We'll go on to Fordbridge Station and see what we can pick up there!
01:10:16There's the main line!
01:10:17Give Joe a toot!
01:10:25Oh!
01:10:31Get down!
01:10:32Get down!
01:10:41Oh!
01:10:42Let's go!
01:10:43Let's go!
01:10:45Get the stick!
01:10:46Oh!
01:10:47Here, use this!
01:10:52Get down!
01:10:55Ah, stop them. Up distant, home down. Home down, this is the one.
01:11:10Hey, what's going wrong? The signal's against us.
01:11:13What's up, then?
01:11:18The governor said the main line will be clear till 3.55.
01:11:25How far's the old branch line, then?
01:11:27Can't be more than half a mile, according to the map.
01:11:29Well, let's get on, then. There's nothing ahead.
01:11:31Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:11:32Wait a minute!
01:11:33Wait a minute!
01:11:34We count other signals of danger.
01:11:36Yeah, but we can't wait, then.
01:11:45What's going on, then?
01:11:46It's James! It's James!
01:11:48The signal's changed!
01:11:49Eh?
01:11:50Yes.
01:11:51Well, come on, what are you waiting for? Push the starter.
01:11:53Off with it.
01:11:54There's no engine driver!
01:11:55Who's going to drive?
01:11:56Mona!
01:11:57Her dad was an engine driver.
01:11:58Piece of cake!
01:11:59Come on, everybody, get stuck in!
01:12:00Yay!
01:12:01Hey!
01:12:02Hey!
01:12:03Hey!
01:12:04Hey!
01:12:05Hey!
01:12:06Hey!
01:12:07Hey!
01:12:08Hey!
01:12:09Hey!
01:12:10Hey!
01:12:11Hey!
01:12:12Hey!
01:12:13Hey!
01:12:14Hey!
01:12:15Hey!
01:12:16Hey!
01:12:17Hey!
01:12:18Hey!
01:12:19Hey!
01:12:20Hey!
01:12:21Hey!
01:12:22Hey!
01:12:23Hey!
01:12:24Hey!
01:12:25Hey!
01:12:26Hey!
01:12:27Hey!
01:12:28Hey!
01:12:29Hey!
01:12:30Hey!
01:12:31Hey!
01:12:32Hey!
01:12:33Hey!
01:12:34Hey!
01:12:35Hey!
01:12:36Hey!
01:12:37Hey!
01:12:38Hey!
01:12:39Hey!
01:12:40Hey!
01:12:41Hey!
01:12:42Hey!
01:12:43Hey!
01:12:44Hey!
01:12:45Hey!
01:12:46Hey!
01:12:47Hey!
01:12:48Sir, you know the up train that will go to Padham, sir?
01:12:57Well, it won't go to Padham, sir, because it has gone.
01:13:02There's another signal against us. Stop!
01:13:04Oh, no, not another.
01:13:05Wait a minute, fool. That's the way we're going, Brides Bay.
01:13:07Who's got the lever?
01:13:09There it is.
01:13:10Oh, my.
01:13:11All right, let's get out.
01:13:18Come on.
01:13:24Jim.
01:13:28Oh, bless it.
01:13:30All right, come on.
01:13:31All right.
01:13:36Hey, Jim, where you going with that?
01:13:39Jacket in a ditch there. Don't know what to follow us.
01:13:41Yeah, it's a good idea.
01:13:48Right, we're off.
01:13:50I can smell the sea breezes already.
01:13:52Hurry up, you lot!
01:13:56Ain't there.
01:13:57What?
01:13:58What's up?
01:13:59It ain't there.
01:14:01What ain't there?
01:14:02The van with a loot in it.
01:14:05Oi!
01:14:07Hey?
01:14:08It ain't there!
01:14:09What ain't there?
01:14:10The van!
01:14:11The van!
01:14:12What is it?
01:14:13The...
01:14:14The...
01:14:14The...
01:14:15Oh.
01:14:18Well, where's it come to, then?
01:14:21I mean, it comes...
01:14:23It ain't there.
01:14:25Look.
01:14:26There it is.
01:14:28Well, how'd that happen, then?
01:14:29Some fool didn't couple it up properly.
01:14:31Well, back up the line and get it, then.
01:14:32Yeah, come on, then, yeah.
01:14:34Hey, the points!
01:14:35What about the points?
01:14:35Yeah, that's it, the points.
01:14:36Yeah, the points!
01:14:37Get moving, then.
01:14:37The points!
01:14:39Here.
01:14:39Where's the lever, then?
01:14:41I hit it.
01:14:41You big twit.
01:14:42Who's a big twit?
01:14:43You are.
01:14:44You better know what you do.
01:14:45Look like that.
01:14:46What is the hell to it, then?
01:14:47This isn't a union meeting.
01:14:48You did right, Jim.
01:14:50Now, where did you put it?
01:14:51In the ditch over there.
01:14:53What?
01:14:53You big twit!
01:14:54Why chuck it there?
01:14:56Come on, let's make it.
01:14:56Yeah, I told him.
01:14:58Where'd you try, Jim?
01:14:59Come on, let's make it.
01:14:59There we are.
01:15:00Where'd you chuck it, Jim?
01:15:01Not where you are.
01:15:04Here, I've got something.
01:15:07Oh.
01:15:08Come on.
01:15:09We'll paddle about here much longer.
01:15:11Something's gonna come along that blasted main line.
01:15:13Something is coming along it.
01:15:15Hey?
01:15:15Hey, what's that?
01:15:16How's that?
01:15:16I've got it.
01:15:18I've found it.
01:15:19Good animal.
01:15:20Here, look at that.
01:15:20I've got it.
01:15:21I've got it.
01:15:22I've got it.
01:15:22I've got it, Ben.
01:15:28That's it.
01:15:29Yeah.
01:15:31Right.
01:15:32Don't worry.
01:15:34Come on.
01:15:36Off my shoe.
01:15:37You don't need that.
01:15:38You're not hiking.
01:15:39I'm out of it.
01:15:40Don't stop the train.
01:15:41It's ridiculous.
01:15:42Go down.
01:15:45Stop, Mona.
01:15:51Right-o.
01:15:52Right.
01:15:59You've got to get away with a loop.
01:16:01Somewhere safe.
01:16:02What about me daddy's in the lorry business near Paddam?
01:16:05I'll hop off and phone him.
01:16:06Come on, Doris.
01:16:07You drive on to Paddam.
01:16:10Don't forget to tell him to shove on his phone's number, please.
01:16:13He never takes them off.
01:16:17Okay.
01:16:18We're hooked up.
01:16:19Wait away, Mona.
01:16:27It's those school kids.
01:16:29They've princed all the money.
01:16:30After them.
01:16:31One of them on after number.
01:16:32Two and all billion quid.
01:16:33We ain't got any pressure out, mate.
01:16:34Get some more pressure out.
01:16:36They're gaining on us.
01:16:43Open up.
01:16:44Quick.
01:16:53No, no, no, no.
01:16:54I'm speaking the honest truth, sir.
01:16:55The up train has departed on the down line, sir.
01:16:59Just one moment, sir.
01:17:06Hello, sir.
01:17:13Now the up train has passed down on the up line, I think.
01:17:20Just a moment, sir.
01:17:20They're coming back.
01:17:33Both of them.
01:17:35I'll fix them.
01:17:36Wait a minute.
01:17:50We're going back to where we started.
01:17:51Back of the school, stop.
01:17:52Hey, someone's messing us up.
01:17:54Get out of that signal box.
01:17:59No, no.
01:18:00Back now.
01:18:02Not yet.
01:18:02Wait for Harry.
01:18:03Where are we going?
01:18:07Pardon.
01:18:08Pardon?
01:18:20Quit the signal box.
01:18:22Change the points.
01:18:26Are you quite sure you know how to work this sort of thing, maybe?
01:18:29Not in the least.
01:18:30One can but try.
01:18:31Yes.
01:18:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:02Aaaaaaaah, aah!
01:19:05My name is the King, we are on the tree, brother.
01:19:10My name is the King, I'm the King.
01:19:13My name is the King, I'm the King.
01:19:16My name is the King, I'm the King.
01:19:32Oh, my God.
01:20:02Oh, my God.
01:20:32Oh, my God.
01:20:34Oh, my God.
01:20:36Oh, my God.
01:20:40Quick.
01:20:42Weeek!
01:21:00Right!
01:21:05Hey!
01:21:07There are two stolen trains on this line.
01:21:09Our information is that they're ahead of us.
01:21:11Follow them. Inside, Buster.
01:21:19Oh! Stop! There's a train up ahead!
01:21:21She's fighting on us, quick!
01:21:22What?
01:21:23Stop!
01:21:27They're slowing down!
01:21:28Freak! Freak!
01:21:34They're cornered!
01:21:36No, the crooks! What are we gonna do now?
01:21:38It's all right, it's moving on! Quick!
01:21:44Oh!
01:21:46Back! Back!
01:21:47Back!
01:21:48Back!
01:21:49Back!
01:21:50Back!
01:21:51Come on!
01:21:52Back in, everybody!
01:21:53Freaking out, Luke!
01:21:54You mean the kids?
01:21:55Come on!
01:21:56Quick! Quick, answer them!
01:21:57Come on! Get a move, father!
01:21:58Come on!
01:21:59Come on!
01:22:01Come on!
01:22:02Come on!
01:22:03Come on!
01:22:05Come on!
01:22:06Excuse me, sir.
01:22:26Two trains answered in the description of the wanted trains are proceeding in our rear immediately behind us, sir.
01:22:31Oh, good heavens, so they are. Stop, driver, stop the train.
01:22:34They're stopping again.
01:22:35Brake, brake.
01:22:37They're stopping.
01:22:39Brake, brake.
01:22:45Here's our touch.
01:22:59Roses.
01:23:00Come on, back, back.
01:23:01It's a police.
01:23:04Hey, that's a bit of light when we claim that reward.
01:23:09Quick, the other way.
01:23:11Right.
01:23:15Get down the other end of the car that train.
01:23:17What?
01:23:17One of those trains.
01:23:18Oh, my goodness, they're going the other way.
01:23:33Oh, my goodness, they're going the other way.
01:23:37We'll go faster.
01:23:50How can I go any faster without any more pressure?
01:23:51Come on, faster, faster.
01:24:02We can't go any faster without any more pressure.
01:24:04We'll put some more coal on, then.
01:24:06We'll put some more coal on, then.
01:24:11Shut up!
01:24:14Let's have an organization about this.
01:24:21Oh, sorry, old boy.
01:24:51Where have they got to?
01:25:00Over here.
01:25:01They're going down the other line.
01:25:03Call out to an old brilliant dick.
01:25:05They're going the wrong way.
01:25:09Where are we all till now?
01:25:10Hudders!
01:25:12Hudders?
01:25:17Hey, look!
01:25:21Well, stone the crows.
01:25:27I am Amber's talking girl.
01:25:31Oh, my gosh, I think it's not.
01:25:33I wasn't talking about having this
01:25:36with a conciliant lactating wound
01:25:38without even being dropped in.
01:25:39Amber!
01:25:43Ah!
01:25:44Oh, my God!
01:25:45Ah!
01:25:51Oh, Frank, Frank, Frank!
01:26:21Come on, boys, make a run, Frank!
01:26:26And the best of luck!
01:26:34Hello. I would like to speak to the superintendent, please.
01:26:38Well, I'm very sorry to interrupt him at his tea time, but you see, it is very important that I...
01:26:43Oh, hello, sir.
01:26:46Sir, you promised me only two trains a day on the up line and the down line is laid down in the rules and the ranks.
01:26:51But 20 trains a minute, upside down and sideways!
01:26:55That is not cricket, and it is not British whitemanship.
01:26:58No, no, no, no, I'm sorry, sir. I am packing him in.
01:27:02Goodbye, honoured sir.
01:27:07Goodbye.
01:27:17Good evening.
01:27:18Me also packing me an alley, boy. We up Scarborough together.
01:27:21Goodness gracious, yes.
01:27:28Oh, well done, officers. Knock them about democratically.
01:27:31Look, there's Lillie's dance! Lillie's dance, hello!
01:27:44Go, copper, squint!
01:27:47Come on, let's get it out, fast!
01:27:49Come on, let's get it out, fast.
01:28:00Hey, hold on, we can't do this.
01:28:02It's not legal.
01:28:03We won't get away with it.
01:28:04Sure, we'll get away with it.
01:28:05We always do.
01:28:09Congratulations, girls.
01:28:10Wonderful piece of work.
01:28:11Mars!
01:28:11Our new superintendent, I am Addy Hackett, turf accountant to St Trinian's, and I hereby claim the reward for information...
01:28:16Too late, son, too late.
01:28:17These heroic girls here.
01:28:19They broke back a whole lot.
01:28:20Look at it.
01:28:21Look at it!
01:28:22Hey, boy.
01:28:23Hey!
01:28:24Hey!
01:28:24Hey!
01:28:25Hey!
01:28:26Hey!
01:28:26Hey!
01:28:27Oh, my God!
01:28:49Heavens, honey boy, the police!
01:28:51Police?
01:28:57Amber, darling!
01:29:03Oh, my sweetest!
01:29:05Are you a lamb?
01:29:07Mad grenadier!
01:29:09For you, always!
01:29:15Oh, those terrible dustmen!
01:29:27He's gotta do it.
01:29:29Brick!
01:29:41A baby-headed...
01:29:43I love you!
01:29:45Come on!