Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30I'm still here.
00:01:00And so are you.
00:01:06I'm still here.
00:01:36So?
00:01:46You're not going to tell me your name?
00:01:49Don't make it a big thing, Mom.
00:01:50Well, she invited you to hang out.
00:01:52I know that.
00:01:54Hey.
00:01:55Hey.
00:01:56Hey.
00:01:57Guess who just might have a girlfriend?
00:01:58I heard he's got two of them.
00:02:02I didn't say that.
00:02:04Oh, my gosh.
00:02:04You guys are annoying.
00:02:09Good nap?
00:02:10Yeah.
00:02:11Weird dreams.
00:02:13I still have this headache that won't go away.
00:02:16You think you should call out?
00:02:18No.
00:02:18Well, they're probably short-staffed as it is.
00:02:22Speaking of which, have you seen my ID anywhere?
00:02:25Yeah, this is what happens now that you're only volunteering twice a year.
00:02:28She gave me a hard time a little bit more with you.
00:02:31Guilt trip, man.
00:02:32Yeah.
00:02:33Yeah.
00:02:33Yeah.
00:03:03What's he doing tonight?
00:03:05He said he's hanging out at a friend's house down the street.
00:03:08What about you? You still going to do that work thing?
00:03:11I decided to ditch it and go to my sister's.
00:03:13She's having her annual shindig.
00:03:15It's quite a hike, isn't it?
00:03:17I know. I just feel like I owe her a visit.
00:03:20Check out the invitation she sent.
00:03:23Julia's New Year's Eve Bonanza.
00:03:25Well, you can't miss that.
00:03:28This came from your brother.
00:03:29I was thinking of putting him on the fridge.
00:03:33Who are those sweaters?
00:03:36I think the sweaters are cute.
00:03:38Dad, did you get the Lakers tickets yet?
00:03:40Oh, shit.
00:03:42No, not yet. I'm still working on it.
00:03:44Did you give me your card? I can order them.
00:03:46They're going to sell out.
00:03:47No, no. I'm going to do it.
00:03:48Oh, um, I almost forgot.
00:03:53I had coffee with Matt Chauvin's yesterday.
00:03:56He asked to read your book.
00:03:58Well, it's really not that type of thing, you know?
00:04:00Well, he was thrilled to give you notes,
00:04:03so I sent it to him.
00:04:06Is that a problem?
00:04:09No, look, it's, uh...
00:04:11He's just a big-time fiction writer, you know?
00:04:14And you asked him to read my dumb little memoir.
00:04:16Wow, okay.
00:04:17No more goodwill gestures from me.
00:04:19I appreciate it.
00:04:23Tracy Hoover was given the letter
00:04:24of a nine-year-old accident
00:04:26victim of a brown robber ratio.
00:04:27Oh, my God!
00:04:29Oh, my God!
00:04:29Oh, my God!
00:04:29Oh, my God!
00:04:30Oh, my God!
00:04:31Oh, my God!
00:04:32Oh, my God!
00:04:33Oh, my God!
00:04:34Oh, my God!
00:04:35Oh, my God!
00:04:37Oh, my God!
00:04:39Oh, my God!
00:04:41Oh, my God!
00:04:42Oh, my God!
00:04:43Oh, my God!
00:04:44Oh, my God!
00:04:49You've reached Andrew.
00:04:50Please leave a message,
00:04:51and I'll get back to you.
00:04:52Hey, brother, it's me...
00:04:54just calling to say Happy New Year.
00:04:56I got those photos you sent.
00:04:58Thanks for those.
00:05:02Um, anyway, give me a call back.
00:05:03Let's catch up.
00:05:13because i'm at work right now you cannot just drop this on me last minute ty it's new year's eve
00:05:36fine no i just can't argue about it right now you know what i'll figure it out
00:05:42steven hi how are you good good to see you how are you uh you know same old same old not interrupting
00:05:53am i no that was just my ex-husband dropping the ball again i actually have to go and get my kids
00:05:59he got his dates all messed up and now it's impossible to find a sitter actually i think
00:06:03it's just going to be you here most of the night cindy's off at 11. oh uh okay i'm so sorry steven
00:06:09i know it's a lot from one person but i just no no no no it's fine it's fine go be with you kids
00:06:14it's okay you're a lifesaver come on you're the hero i'm the one who sold out and went into private
00:06:19practice well at least use my desk i do have a nice chair thank you all right all right
00:06:26lifeline
00:06:37lifeline
00:06:37hello
00:06:41i don't want to talk about myself okay i understand
00:06:48hello
00:06:52lifeline
00:07:10lifeline
00:07:12hello
00:07:17it's uh it's okay if you're not ready to talk but uh can i get your name at least
00:07:27mary mary hi mary i'm steven
00:07:35i don't really know how this works well it's uh really whatever you feel like you need
00:07:45what made you call in this evening and there's no right answer to that i didn't want to feel like
00:07:53that i want it to be over but please don't tell the police where i am because they'll
00:08:03no no no no no no i won't i promise this call is anonymous so you don't have to worry about that okay
00:08:09okay okay just like to talk a little bit about how you're feeling did uh did something happen at
00:08:19home tonight maybe a fight with family or uh yeah yeah yeah can you tell me a little bit about that
00:08:33um it didn't i had it's been all over the place and no one i know gets it so i got these pills
00:08:46um you have the pills with you now
00:08:50awesome
00:08:52they're for sleep and depression but i figured if i take enough
00:08:58well i'm really hoping you don't do that mary
00:09:00there's no other way i don't have a choice
00:09:04now why do you say that
00:09:06what when you say that you don't feel like you have a choice what do you mean by that
00:09:10mary can you can you tell me where you are right now are you at home no i'm in palm springs my
00:09:23husband rented a house here for the holidays but he knows that you've been having a hard time
00:09:31what but he knows that you've been hurting
00:09:35mary i don't trust him he's the reason i'm the the reason that you uh that you feel like hurting
00:09:47yourself yeah he drove us out here because i was having problems there was a medication change i went
00:09:58through recently and i told him i was in therapy and he got really mad
00:10:02how come i don't think i can talk much longer why not
00:10:12mary is it because you're worried about your husband finding out yeah
00:10:20has your husband ever hurt you
00:10:24no but i'm afraid of him it's hard to explain
00:10:32no no i think i understand um but i gotta say things um they sound really tense over there
00:10:42tonight so i'd like to come up with a safe word or uh or phrase in case your husband comes home and
00:10:49we're still talking what do you mean it's just a way for you to let me know that you're feeling
00:10:55unsafe so it it doesn't trigger your husband can we do that okay fine yeah okay great so the best thing
00:11:04to do is to pick a word or a phrase that's really easy to bring up in a conversation
00:11:09like he's so wonderful or something yeah yeah that's great he's so wonderful works that's great and
00:11:20you remember that right just in case yeah okay i don't know it feels really risky
00:11:30mary listen i i just want to do whatever we can to
00:11:33i should hang up no no no mary mary wait wait are you still there if we can get you someplace safe
00:11:40tonight away from your husband okay just until your therapist is available
00:11:49do you think that you could hold off on maybe taking those pills
00:11:52i i don't know maybe maybe well can you give me your address and i just feel better if we got you
00:12:03out of that situation away from him 578 flamingo drive 578 flamingo drive and you said you're in palm
00:12:15springs right well honestly i i think it'd be easier to just send it mary mary i know listen i understand
00:12:25mary i i understand listen but that would be
00:12:33that would be a really big mistake and one that you cannot take back do you understand that
00:12:40mary
00:12:40mary
00:12:49mary
00:12:51mary
00:12:57mary
00:13:07mary
00:13:09Lifeline, how can I help you today?
00:13:39And give that hot bath a try, okay?
00:13:55Yeah, you too.
00:14:05Lifeline.
00:14:15Sorry, I'm sick.
00:14:21Okay.
00:14:22Well, that's okay, but this line is specifically for mental health purposes, so...
00:14:27Well, if you have a cold, then you should talk to a doctor or someone more qualified than
00:14:40me.
00:14:41No, I mean, I also want to kill myself.
00:14:45Okay, that is something that we should talk about.
00:14:48Can you hold on a second?
00:14:52Sure.
00:14:54Listen, if this is a prank call, I'm gonna hang up, okay?
00:15:00Julia, what are you two doing?
00:15:15Okay.
00:15:30you all right oh yeah it's just a little coffee burn things how's your night going
00:15:51pretty good feels like it's been non-stop yeah i'm gonna make a little coffee you want some
00:15:57lifeline
00:15:59lifeline
00:16:20hi uh my wife mary called a little while ago my name's jason
00:16:26okay yeah hi she uh you know well i'll let her explain she's right here
00:16:36hello hi mary it's steven
00:16:41um yeah i just wanted to call and say i was sorry about before
00:16:49my meds they just make me think crazy thoughts and
00:16:55mary is your husband there with you right now
00:17:00uh-huh yeah
00:17:04he's so wonderful
00:17:09well thanks for letting me know you're okay and have a good rest of your night
00:17:16yeah happy new year
00:17:19you too
00:17:20all springs police department what's your emergency
00:17:33hi my name is steven thomas and i'm a hotline responder at the lifeline call center
00:17:38there's a lady in your area at 578 flamingo drive and i believe that there's a possible uh domestic violence situation with her husband
00:17:47all right let me put you through to an officer on patrol hang on
00:18:00this is officer fredericks with the palm springs pd you were reporting a domestic violence case
00:18:08yes she's at 578 flamingo drive
00:18:11that's the address dispatched in us is there a number i can reach you at
00:18:17sure my cell is 717-555-6455
00:18:23great i'll give you a call back once we get eyes on her
00:18:26what was the name again mary i didn't get a last name
00:18:31okay well we're on our way now great i appreciate it
00:18:41okay
00:18:47okay
00:18:55okay
00:19:01okay
00:19:05okay
00:19:11Lifeline.
00:19:33Lifeline.
00:19:38I'm going to kill myself.
00:19:41Okay.
00:19:43Can you tell me a little bit about why?
00:19:50That wouldn't make sense.
00:19:52Well, I'd like to try and understand.
00:19:56I'm in no rush.
00:20:02Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
00:20:05Like what?
00:20:07You, um, you have a job.
00:20:09Are you a student?
00:20:12I go to UCLA.
00:20:14Oh, yeah?
00:20:15I went there.
00:20:16I mean, a while ago, but, um...
00:20:20What's your name?
00:20:22Steven.
00:20:24Steven.
00:20:25That's my name too.
00:20:28Where are you right now, Steven?
00:20:30In a motel.
00:20:34I bought a gun.
00:20:39I gotta be honest with you, Steven.
00:20:40Um...
00:20:43Guns make me really nervous in this kind of situation.
00:20:46Did you tell anyone else where you are?
00:20:51I...
00:20:53I tried to tell my girlfriend, but...
00:20:55Er...
00:20:57Ex-girlfriend.
00:20:58But...
00:20:59We just got into a fight, so...
00:21:01I'm sorry to hear that.
00:21:04What's your girlfriend's name?
00:21:06It's Vivian, but everybody calls her Viv.
00:21:14And you said your name is Steven?
00:21:16Yeah.
00:21:17What's your last name?
00:21:18Thomas.
00:21:22So, uh...
00:21:23So, uh...
00:21:24You wouldn't happen to have gone to, uh...
00:21:26Woodrow Wilson High School, did you?
00:21:30Yeah, how did you know that?
00:21:32I'm gonna put you on hold for just a second, alright?
00:21:48Hello?
00:21:49Hey, it's me.
00:21:50Dad?
00:21:51Yeah, nice work with that, uh, prank call there.
00:21:54What?
00:21:55That was good.
00:21:56Did you get your mom in on that too?
00:21:58Dad, I seriously have no idea what you're talking about.
00:22:02But so the guy that called in claiming to be me, you knew nothing about that?
00:22:06No.
00:22:08And Dad, it's really loud here right now, so...
00:22:12Okay.
00:22:13Alright, well, we'll talk about this later.
00:22:15Okay, bye.
00:22:24Hey, so, uh...
00:22:25So listen, buddy.
00:22:26You seriously just put me on hold?
00:22:29I came here to blow my brains out, and you're too fucking busy to stay on the floor with me?
00:22:32Okay, okay, hey, listen, listen, listen.
00:22:33I'm sorry.
00:22:34I'm sorry that...
00:22:35You're right.
00:22:36That was wrong with me.
00:22:38I apologize.
00:22:41Whatever.
00:22:43It doesn't matter.
00:22:44I...
00:22:45It's happening no matter what, so...
00:22:50When you say it's happening, you mean...
00:22:52I'm going to kill myself.
00:22:55I've already decided.
00:22:59But you haven't done it yet, and that's a great thing.
00:23:02I told myself midnight.
00:23:05Is there a reason that you gave yourself a time?
00:23:08I don't know.
00:23:09It helps when I have a goal, I guess.
00:23:13Well, you seem pretty determined.
00:23:17Did you get the gun for this purpose?
00:23:20Yeah.
00:23:22It's either I use it on myself or on...
00:23:26On who?
00:23:30It doesn't matter.
00:23:32I'm too much of a coward to do that.
00:23:35He always knew that about me.
00:23:37I only call because I don't want to be alone when I do it.
00:23:40They said this hotline was anonymous, so...
00:23:43I figured if I told anyone else, they'd call the cops.
00:23:46Well, that's not going to happen with me, but I got to be honest with you.
00:23:49This, uh...
00:23:51This worries me, Steven.
00:23:52But you're not going to call it though, right?
00:23:54No.
00:23:55Because if I get one fucking siren...
00:23:56No, no. I'm not going to call the cops.
00:23:58I just want to keep talking to you, okay? That's it.
00:24:01Can we do that?
00:24:04Yeah.
00:24:06Okay.
00:24:08As long as you know it won't matter.
00:24:11We can't change what's happening.
00:24:15What specifically do you feel like you can't change?
00:24:20I... I just mean generally.
00:24:22I... I feel like we all believe we're in control.
00:24:25When we aren't.
00:24:27So you feel powerless?
00:24:28I don't feel. I am. I am fucking powerless. That's why I know nothing matters.
00:24:34I know people say that all the time, but it's true. It's like the only thing that's true.
00:24:41That nothing matters?
00:24:42We're all just talking to ourselves.
00:24:45Telling ourselves the same things over and over.
00:24:49Putting meaning into every little.
00:24:51We're pretending to be people we aren't, all of us.
00:24:54Acting like everything's perfect and normal.
00:24:56And what I did...
00:25:01I can't...
00:25:03What did you do?
00:25:09I mean...
00:25:13What I let happen...
00:25:15Good boy.
00:25:16What did you let happen?
00:25:22Forget it.
00:25:26Steven.
00:25:28Once I do this...
00:25:30I'll be free.
00:25:32I mean it's all insane.
00:25:34And if the whole world is insane...
00:25:37Then why is it insane to want to end my life?
00:25:41I think it would be tragic.
00:25:44But insane?
00:25:47I don't know.
00:25:52You see there's part of me that can understand the feeling that the whole world is rigged against us.
00:25:57Right?
00:25:59And no matter how hard we try, life just keeps putting obstacles in our way.
00:26:04Sometimes worse, sometimes...
00:26:07Things feel like they're so bad that it is too much for one person to take on.
00:26:12Or...
00:26:15Alone at least.
00:26:19But that's why you called in.
00:26:24And I think that's great.
00:26:25It's great.
00:26:31Steven...
00:26:35Are you still with me?
00:26:36The end of the day...
00:26:50Who else is this?
00:26:52That's why I'm excited.
00:26:54I don't know how to get up.
00:26:55Hi, this is Vivian. Please leave a message.
00:27:12Hey, it's me.
00:27:14Just had a call that threw me for a loop.
00:27:18Give me a call when you get it.
00:27:20I love you.
00:27:25Hey, I'm so sorry. I know you're about to head out,
00:27:30but I need to run down to the restroom downstairs.
00:27:32Uh, can you cover for me for just a sec?
00:27:35Yeah, sure.
00:27:42Hello?
00:27:43Hi, it's Officer Fredericks.
00:27:45Oh, yeah.
00:27:46This is my cell. I just wanted to follow up.
00:27:49We arrested the victim's husband you called in about, uh, Jason.
00:27:52Oh, okay. And, uh, and how's Mary?
00:27:55She was worked up, for sure.
00:27:57And we had an ambulance take her to the hospital
00:27:59since her head was injured pretty bad.
00:28:01Oh, my goodness.
00:28:03But, hey.
00:28:05It's great you called.
00:28:07Who knows how bad things could have gotten
00:28:09if we hadn't showed up.
00:28:10Well, thank you.
00:28:12I'll give you a call this week,
00:28:13since we'll need a full statement.
00:28:15For sure.
00:28:17This is the best number to reach you at?
00:28:19Uh, yes, it is.
00:28:20Okay. You have a good rest of your night, sir.
00:28:23You, too. Happy New Year.
00:28:37Hey there, I'm just gonna use your restroom really quick, alright?
00:28:39Key is on the desk, right there.
00:28:43Hello?
00:29:06Nice to meet you!
00:29:08You're gonna listen to me!
00:29:32What was that?
00:29:33Damn gunshot victim.
00:29:35Those doctors, there's a hospital nearby?
00:29:37Yeah, next door in the West Tower.
00:29:40Tell you, a bunch of strange happenings going on on this plot.
00:29:44Man.
00:29:46You on eight, right?
00:29:47Yeah.
00:29:48Yeah, you'll probably see me around here later on.
00:29:50Graveyard shit for us, huh?
00:29:52Man, it gets lonely around here on New Year's Eve, I tell you.
00:29:56But...
00:29:58I don't believe this.
00:30:00Is this happening upstairs, too?
00:30:02Yeah, there's something similar.
00:30:04Must have been from that earthquake earlier.
00:30:07We had one?
00:30:08Yeah, you didn't feel it?
00:30:09Must have missed it.
00:30:12Hey, thanks again.
00:30:13No problem.
00:30:14Happy to eat you.
00:30:15You too.
00:30:18Andrew!
00:30:21Hey, man.
00:30:22Sorry, I just got your message.
00:30:23No worries.
00:30:24No worries.
00:30:25Yeah, it's crazy.
00:30:26It's almost midnight here.
00:30:27The boys somehow have more energy than me.
00:30:31Yeah, they look really big in the photos you sent.
00:30:33Yeah.
00:30:34Tell me about it.
00:30:36Hey, I was meaning to call you earlier this week.
00:30:39You know, it's just...
00:30:40It's been a little...
00:30:41No, no, no.
00:30:42I get it.
00:30:43I get it.
00:30:44It's weird.
00:30:46I've been thinking about mom and dad recently.
00:30:50And I don't know.
00:30:52It's like memories of them.
00:30:54They're fading, you know?
00:30:56Like I can only remember them in bits and pieces now.
00:31:02Sorry, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
00:31:04No, I get it.
00:31:05It's the same for me.
00:31:06You know, it feels like it's easier to block things out most of the time.
00:31:11Yeah, I've been thinking about it, too.
00:31:13I mean, how can we not on a night like tonight, you know?
00:31:17You remember that time when dad took mom on that trip and left us alone for the weekend?
00:31:25It didn't tell us where they were going or anything and they just left.
00:31:29Yeah.
00:31:32Yeah, I remember that.
00:31:45You said something to me.
00:31:47I've never forgotten.
00:31:50What if he kills her?
00:31:51I don't know if he came back a few days later.
00:31:56She was okay, but...
00:31:59And then with me going so far away for college...
00:32:04We'd never talked about it.
00:32:05But...
00:32:08I could have done more.
00:32:10I know that.
00:32:14Hey, Steve, hang on one sec.
00:32:16Honey?
00:32:18Boys.
00:32:20I'm sorry.
00:32:21We're closing in on midnight here.
00:32:24Yeah, no, I gotta run, too.
00:32:27I'm at work, so...
00:32:29Hey, but let's find a time to talk more.
00:32:32You know?
00:32:33When I'm not being used as a jungle gym.
00:32:36Yeah, for sure.
00:32:46There's a lot of people.
00:33:02Alyssa was moving in here.
00:33:04The fighting room came back.
00:33:07See?
00:33:08Hello Steven hi it's Matt Chauvin's a colleague of your wife's yeah hi how are you I'm good
00:33:32I'm good I'm good yourself I'm great funny I'm actually looking at your Wikipedia page
00:33:39no kidding yeah I heard that Vivian sent my draft to you so sorry I just didn't expect to hear from
00:33:50you so soon well good writers seek out other good writers whenever they can hey you're the
00:33:56professional I'm just a wannabe now please don't sell yourself short well I I'll admit by the end
00:34:03of college I was dead set on either being a psychologist or a sci-fi writer so you know
00:34:08oh yeah yeah yeah it's gonna be one of the other
00:34:11hello uh sorry did you uh did you feel that earthquake no no it must have not hit us here
00:34:33in the valley are you all right uh yeah yeah all good good so I know it's New Year's Eve I hope I'm not
00:34:47interrupting no not at the moment well I had to call because honestly I'm reading this memoir and
00:34:55I'm on the edge of my seat I could have put it down really that uh that means a lot yeah no it's
00:35:04gripping stuff I really can't wait to read the rest well I figured it was more or less finished page
00:35:12count wise so I'm just gonna give you my personal opinion you can take it you can leave it but no no
00:35:19please I uh I'd love the feedback well it feels like you stopped short right as things with your
00:35:27father start heating up I trust you but the way you set everything up until this point the father-son
00:35:40dynamic yeah I just figured there was more to explore with that relationship with my father
00:35:48um okay because I don't think I really got into our relationship until around chapter eight or so
00:35:56huh Vivian must have sent me an earlier manuscript this copy ends at chapter five
00:36:03I actually have the latest draft emailed to myself and I can forward that to you right now
00:36:11yeah that'd be great
00:36:14the writing is terrific and your teenage years I mean it's harrowing honestly
00:36:26yeah I just end up sticking to sci-fi and political thrillers maybe I'm too afraid of getting personal
00:36:33man I'm sorry I've got to call you right back oh okay let's uh let's talk later hey Viv
00:36:44hey sorry I just got your message it's all right it's no problem have you talked to Jeff
00:36:50uh yeah I talked to him about an hour ago he was uh still at the party why he hasn't responded to my
00:36:58text really I mean I know he's just down the street but I've been trying to check in
00:37:03oh hang on I just texted he's saying I'll be home by 12 30 at the latest
00:37:10you're great and how was your party oh I left early I'm actually on the road now
00:37:17that much fun huh no it was fine it was good to see Julia she spent at least an hour telling
00:37:24embarrassing stories from when we were young how was everything on your end your voicemail sounded
00:37:29no I think I just wanted to hear your voice you know conversations tonight got me thinking
00:37:36yeah yeah but what
00:37:39us the past
00:37:43oh not the past
00:37:46yeah that little old thing
00:37:48you just think there's uh things I've forgotten you know
00:37:56senior year of college and uh maybe before
00:38:02tell me what you remember about us
00:38:07about us wow
00:38:10yeah
00:38:12yeah from the beginning
00:38:15no I hope you haven't forgotten that much
00:38:19no I'm just in a reflective moment
00:38:22and I am writing a memoir
00:38:25supposedly anyway
00:38:27yeah that's true
00:38:29so
00:38:31well
00:38:33I mean you first met in a psych class
00:38:35but
00:38:36I don't think we started dating until
00:38:39physics
00:38:41I think
00:38:41we ended up getting partnered together for a final that
00:38:45paper we wrote
00:38:47god why do I always forget the name
00:38:49the mini worlds one
00:38:52yeah
00:38:53yeah that one
00:38:54which by the way I found that stashed at home earlier today
00:38:58you kept that
00:39:00yeah
00:39:01yeah probably just
00:39:03sentimental value I guess
00:39:05yeah I hadn't thought about that till today
00:39:07yeah
00:39:08I don't know why I held on to it
00:39:10I just
00:39:10felt like we got through some tough times that year
00:39:14so
00:39:14but
00:39:17yeah
00:39:17that
00:39:18that paper
00:39:19it was way above our heads
00:39:21when we were trying to prove that parallel universes existed
00:39:24or
00:39:24or something like that
00:39:26I remember
00:39:27you had doubts
00:39:28yeah that sounds like me
00:39:31when you got all philosophical that first night
00:39:36working on the take home
00:39:37debating whether life was deterministic
00:39:39you had this relentless belief in free will
00:39:44and that
00:39:46among other things
00:39:48is why I fell in love with you
00:39:50what do you mean by we um
00:39:55we got through tough times that year
00:39:57well
00:40:00you know
00:40:01I mean
00:40:03I don't even want to think about it now but
00:40:05what
00:40:07no it just
00:40:10it's hard to think about how close things came to ending
00:40:13what do you mean ending
00:40:16just us
00:40:18everything
00:40:19the day in the car
00:40:21it was a few weeks after you first told me about the scars
00:40:32on your back
00:40:35where they
00:40:36really came from
00:40:38go get our room
00:40:43you were so afraid to talk about it back then
00:41:13no crying
00:41:20quiet Stephen
00:41:24The number you dialed is not a service.
00:41:50Hello?
00:41:52Jeff?
00:41:55Sorry, man, you got the wrong number.
00:41:57Come on, I know this is Jeff's number.
00:41:58I'm his father.
00:42:04Hey, you've reached Tyler.
00:42:05Leave a message.
00:42:06Watch.
00:42:36Just go.
00:43:06Lifeline.
00:43:13It's me again.
00:43:16Steven?
00:43:18Yeah.
00:43:21I'm glad you called back.
00:43:24You still in the motel?
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:29Do you believe in the afterlife?
00:43:31Well, um, I'm not religious, so in that sense, no.
00:43:42You know, as a kid, the idea of the afterlife scared me.
00:43:47Even reincarnation.
00:43:52What do you think?
00:43:55It's like that Greek myth, Sisyphus.
00:43:57You know that one?
00:43:59Yeah, I do.
00:43:59You're the guy that pushes the rock up the hill over and over.
00:44:04Sometimes I think that's all life is.
00:44:07These endless cycles of pain that we all just accept.
00:44:11I wanted to know that when we die, that it's just over.
00:44:14Just blackness, no more consciousness, no more pain.
00:44:19And that's something you find comforting?
00:44:25Finality.
00:44:26Yeah.
00:44:26I hate the idea that there could be two possible outcomes.
00:44:33Death just feels like it should be so definitive.
00:44:38Like it's the one thing you can't cheat.
00:44:42Well, I told you I don't think it's an insane thought to contemplate death or even think about taking your own life.
00:44:48But I think with what you have going on, Stephen, that this is...
00:44:55Stop.
00:44:57Stop what?
00:44:58Just get it through your fucking head that you're not going to talk me down.
00:45:02I'm not calling you to be fucking saved.
00:45:05You should treat this like it's already happened.
00:45:10What's already happened?
00:45:11Yeah, because there's no stopping it.
00:45:13I'm killing myself at midnight, like I said.
00:45:16But I agree, obviously, that it's not insane to think about it.
00:45:26It's insane if you don't think about killing yourself.
00:45:28Honestly, I think everyone, every person on Earth is just doing therapy with themselves constantly.
00:45:39I mean, one part of our brain telling another part not to kill ourselves.
00:45:45That there's some reason to keep...
00:45:48It's an interesting way of looking at life.
00:45:52Maybe a little cynical, but I think it makes sense.
00:45:54I don't know. It's so weird that I'm even talking to us.
00:45:58What, calling in tonight?
00:46:01Yeah.
00:46:03I've always hated talking about myself to other people, especially when I'm in a bad place.
00:46:09Well, I'm happy that you did because I'm a big believer in talking things out.
00:46:14I think it helps.
00:46:15You know, when I was younger, I think it was a lot like you, and I didn't talk about anything.
00:46:24Even my first girlfriend in college, I never told her anything personal.
00:46:28I was never vulnerable.
00:46:31If you can't talk to me, then...
00:46:34Then I can't do this anymore.
00:46:37Then go.
00:46:40Steven.
00:46:41Just go.
00:46:41You know, I've taken a few psych classes, so you don't have to bullshit me.
00:46:48I'm not.
00:46:50Yeah, you're just trying to bond with me. I know how it works.
00:46:53I'm sorry it came across that way, but...
00:46:56I do believe I can relate to what you're saying.
00:47:00How do you do it?
00:47:02Do what?
00:47:02I don't know if I stay optimistic while taking calls from people like me.
00:47:11I mean, when you go home, what?
00:47:12You just shut it off and forget about it?
00:47:16I wish it was that easy.
00:47:18So what?
00:47:18You get high or something?
00:47:20No.
00:47:21Well, I have, uh...
00:47:27I have been known to finish off a bottle of wine when I get home from time to time.
00:47:33But, um...
00:47:36I'm lucky to have people in my life I can rely on.
00:47:41Yeah.
00:47:43That's the thing about luck.
00:47:44No one wants to talk about it.
00:47:45You really feel like you don't have anyone you can rely on?
00:47:56You're not after what you've done to me.
00:48:04You're a father?
00:48:11Mike, you never, ever...
00:48:14Sorry, I'll listen.
00:48:15You're a girl friend.
00:48:31Tell me more about her.
00:48:36Vivian's her name, you said, right?
00:48:40Yeah.
00:48:40We've been dating since we were sophomores, so a couple years.
00:48:49I always thought she was out of my league.
00:48:53Don't surprise me she asked me out.
00:48:58I know you said that you guys had a fight.
00:49:00But she seems like someone you've confided in before.
00:49:06Or trusted.
00:49:08I-I-I told you.
00:49:10I...
00:49:11I can't trust anyone.
00:49:17Not after what he's done to me.
00:49:19Are you father?
00:49:41I am, yeah.
00:49:48You seem like you'd be a good one.
00:49:54I feel like that's rare.
00:49:59Can we talk about your dad for a minute?
00:50:02Because he seems like a pretty hard guy to have for a parent.
00:50:12You could say that.
00:50:18Did he abuse you?
00:50:22Yeah.
00:50:27But you're always disguised as love.
00:50:33He's always with me.
00:50:35His voice.
00:50:40I hear it.
00:50:42Even now.
00:50:44I feel him hovering over me all the time.
00:50:48One day he's telling me how proud he is of me.
00:50:55In what?
00:51:02Fuck it.
00:51:04It doesn't matter.
00:51:05No, it does.
00:51:06It does matter.
00:51:07What were you gonna say?
00:51:09Nothing.
00:51:10Steven.
00:51:15Steven, can we push back this deadline that you've set?
00:51:19Can we do that?
00:51:22No.
00:51:23I...
00:51:25I can't...
00:51:26I can't just let him eat away at me, little pilot.
00:51:28Then let's talk about that a little bit more.
00:51:30No, I...
00:51:31I can't fucking think straight.
00:51:33I just...
00:51:34I just want you to fucking talk about something else, okay?
00:51:35All right, then.
00:51:36All right, I'm sorry.
00:51:37Then let's talk about something else.
00:51:38We can talk about whatever you want.
00:51:40Okay?
00:51:43But there's one thing that I need to know, Steven.
00:51:45Do you have the gun in your hand right now?
00:52:16This is Officer Frederick.
00:52:18Hey, Steven.
00:52:19I know that you're all alone in a motel.
00:52:23And you're sounding really depressed.
00:52:26And you told me that you have a gun.
00:52:33I know that you're in the Red Palm Motel.
00:52:36I didn't tell you that.
00:52:38Yes, you did.
00:52:39How did you...
00:52:40You told me that.
00:52:41You told me where you...
00:52:42I just forgot the room.
00:52:43No, I didn't.
00:52:44Just tell me the room.
00:52:45I didn't tell you...
00:52:46I didn't tell you my room number either.
00:52:47Steven, I don't want you to die!
00:52:49Can you just tell me where you are?
00:52:51Please.
00:52:54Just so I know.
00:52:58It's room 15, all right?
00:53:08But I told you if you call the cops...
00:53:10I know.
00:53:11I know.
00:53:12If you hear any sirens, you're gonna kill yourself.
00:53:13And I don't want that, Steven.
00:53:18But I was thinking...
00:53:20What if I came?
00:53:24Not the cops, just me.
00:53:26It'll take me a little bit to drive out there, but I can be there.
00:53:29No, no, no.
00:53:30There's no time.
00:53:31Just stop, okay?
00:53:32Just stop.
00:53:33Okay, okay.
00:53:34Then just...
00:53:35It's important for me to know where you are, okay?
00:53:37And I'm just confirming.
00:53:38You said the Red Palm Motel, room 15, correct?
00:53:41What?
00:53:42Why do you keep asking?
00:53:43I said it doesn't matter.
00:53:44I'm sorry.
00:53:45You're right.
00:53:46I just got to be in, okay?
00:53:49Tell me a story.
00:53:52Tell me a story.
00:54:11A story?
00:54:15One from when you were a kid.
00:54:19That's the only good memory I have of my dad.
00:54:23You'd read to me when I was little.
00:54:27He really enjoyed that for some reason.
00:54:34Steven.
00:54:37Hey, Steven.
00:54:39I have to do it. I'm sorry.
00:54:41No, no, hold on.
00:54:43Hold on, I know it's really hard right now,
00:54:44but I need you to stick with me for just a little longer, okay?
00:54:48Because I really think that I fully understand
00:54:50what you're going through.
00:54:50You couldn't.
00:54:52No, I do.
00:54:53Oh.
00:54:53No.
00:54:55I do.
00:54:59Your father.
00:55:02I know.
00:55:02I know everything.
00:55:08Your mother, I know her too.
00:55:11What?
00:55:20I know what happened to her and how you blame yourself.
00:55:23I don't...
00:55:24How do you...
00:55:25I just know, Steven.
00:55:31No, you can't.
00:55:32You can't know him, that's it.
00:55:34He...
00:55:34He covered it up and he forced you to lie.
00:55:42I'm going to have to tell the police what happened.
00:55:48I trust you.
00:55:49And then when she was gone and your brother went away to college,
00:55:54he turned to you.
00:55:58He started hurting you.
00:56:00He made you powerless, but you're not, Steven.
00:56:02Yes, I am.
00:56:04I told you, we all are.
00:56:05It's not your fault.
00:56:06You did everything you could to protect your mom,
00:56:09especially for being a kid.
00:56:10And everything your father did to you.
00:56:26I know the effects it had on you.
00:56:33We can protect you from him.
00:56:38We can fix this without...
00:56:40You don't have to do this, Steven.
00:56:43How do you know all this about me?
00:56:45I know it's strange.
00:56:47I know it's strange.
00:56:49But I'm here to tell you there's hope.
00:56:51And no matter how bad you're feeling right now,
00:56:52those feelings, they're survivable.
00:56:55And I know that because I've seen it, Steven.
00:56:58I've seen it.
00:57:01I can't.
00:57:04I can't.
00:57:06Yeah, you can't.
00:57:06I'm sorry.
00:57:07No.
00:57:09Just stay with me.
00:57:10It's easy.
00:57:10Just stay.
00:57:15Steven, are you here?
00:57:20I have to.
00:57:21No, you don't.
00:57:22I'm sorry.
00:57:23Because you have a future.
00:57:25I promise you.
00:57:26I promise you that there's a future with people who love you.
00:57:29I promise you, Steven, these people...
00:57:31I'll let you know.
00:57:43I'll tell you the story.
00:57:45I'm sorry.
00:57:45I'll already know you.
00:57:49Hello?
00:58:05Hi, yeah.
00:58:07Hey, just wanted to stay on the line to confirm.
00:58:10You've got a potential suicide victim at the Red Palm,
00:58:12is what it sounded like.
00:58:14Room 15, right?
00:58:16Yes, room 15, but hurry.
00:58:18I think it's...
00:58:19I'm already on my way.
00:58:21I'm only a minute out, so I'll call you back.
00:58:48What?
00:58:56What?
00:59:04Hello?
00:59:06Yeah, hi.
00:59:07So, nothing here at the Red Palm.
00:59:09Actually, the hotel manager says no one's checked in at all tonight.
00:59:14What?
00:59:14But, uh, sort of a weird thing.
00:59:17I found a bullet hole in the wall of the bathroom in room 15.
00:59:21You did?
00:59:23Yeah, I mean, I can't tell if that's what it is for sure,
00:59:26or how recent it is, but...
00:59:28It looks old.
00:59:29I had to guess.
00:59:33Um...
00:59:33Well, uh, thank you for your help.
00:59:36I...
00:59:37I guess...
00:59:38I don't...
01:00:09Hey!
01:00:38Hey!
01:00:38Hello?
01:00:46Hello?
01:00:53Hello?
01:01:07Hello?
01:01:08Hey!
01:01:08You're not authorized to be on this floor, are you?
01:01:15No, I, uh...
01:01:16Come on, man.
01:01:17I like you.
01:01:18I don't want to have to report you.
01:01:19There's something going on in that lab.
01:01:32There's something going on in that lab.
01:01:34Looked pretty dead to me.
01:01:44Beat, right?
01:01:45Yeah.
01:01:46You said there's a hospital in the West Tower?
01:01:49Mm-hmm.
01:01:50What's the name of it?
01:01:51It's a home to the U.
01:01:52Yeah.
01:01:54Well, there's a hospital in the Westっぽies.
01:01:57Hot O-coated Villa.
01:01:57Yeah.
01:01:58I'll get into my personal 속s,
01:01:58which I'm excited about.
01:01:59Yeah.
01:02:00I know you're absolutely right,
01:02:01but you're just going to get into it.
01:02:32Hello?
01:02:38Hey, uh, I'm so sorry.
01:02:40I just realized my sister and her friend, they prank called this number earlier tonight,
01:02:46and when I realized it was this, Julia, no, come on, you said you'd apologize.
01:02:51Julia, I...
01:02:52Wait, wait, your sister's named Julia?
01:02:55Your younger sister?
01:02:56Yeah, she's sorry, you know, she's a little young.
01:03:00And you're Vivian.
01:03:02Yeah.
01:03:05How did you know that?
01:03:07It's January 1st, 2009, where you're at, right?
01:03:11Just past midnight.
01:03:14Yeah.
01:03:16I need to tell you something about Stephen Thomas.
01:03:19Do you know Stephen?
01:03:20Yeah, it's a long story, but listen, right now I need you to go to, uh, St. Jude's Hospital in Palm Springs, okay?
01:03:30Do you have a car?
01:03:32Uh, yeah, but what's going on?
01:03:37Stephen tried to kill himself tonight.
01:03:38And I don't know if he's going to make it.
01:03:42Uh, uh, okay.
01:03:44Okay?
01:03:44Okay, okay, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm, I'm going now.
01:03:48Um, wait, are you the person he said he talked to earlier tonight?
01:03:52I don't know, did he, uh...
01:03:54He said he tried calling someone, but that he kept hanging up.
01:03:56He wasn't really making sense, but, um...
01:03:59Anyway, whoever you are, thank you.
01:04:12He tried to call.
01:04:29.
01:04:42.
01:04:50He
01:04:52.
01:08:07Do you have a family?
01:08:09I do, yeah.
01:08:11I have a wife and a son.
01:08:14My son's about to turn 14 next month, actually.
01:08:18And he's a big Lakers fan.
01:08:20And my wife thinks he has a girlfriend, but he's too shy to talk to me about that stuff.
01:08:30And so recently I've only been volunteering a few times a year, ever since I went into private practice.
01:08:36And I was told that writing a memoir would be a good therapeutic exercise.
01:08:44So I'm about five chapters deep in right now.
01:08:47I'll see you.
01:08:48I'm about toLab's March again.
01:08:55Here we go.
01:08:57And I was told.
01:08:57I can't do this again.
01:08:58I can't do this again.
01:08:58But I love this guy.
01:08:59Right now, I won't be looking for him.
01:08:59And I loved this guy.
01:09:01I got no one.
01:09:01I haven't?
01:09:02No.
01:09:02I haven't been looking for aátous song,arrange.
01:10:03Tell me a story.
01:11:05Clear.
01:11:06Do you ever see a future between us?
01:11:27Steven.
01:11:34Steven.
01:11:35Just go.
01:11:36I'm alive.
01:11:48I'm alive.
01:11:50I'm alive.
01:11:51Okay, stay with us, Steven.
01:11:54We're losing them.
01:11:56Clear.
01:11:57I'm alive.
01:11:58I'm alive.
01:12:11I'm alive.
01:12:13I'm alive.
01:12:15I'm alive.
01:12:16I'm alive.
01:12:22I'm alive.
01:12:24I'm alive.
01:12:25I'm alive.
01:12:26I'm alive.
01:12:27I'm alive.
01:12:28I'm alive.
01:12:29I'm alive.
01:12:30I'm alive.
01:12:31I'm alive.
01:12:32I'm alive.
01:12:33I'm alive.
01:12:34I'm alive.
01:12:35I'm alive.
01:12:36You know, his odds aren't good, and even if he does make it, I can't stand to see him
01:12:54like this.
01:12:55I need to go on a walk.
01:12:56Andrew.
01:12:57I'm sorry.
01:12:58Hi, Mary.
01:13:27How you doing?
01:13:29Okay, I guess.
01:13:31So your concussion symptoms were pretty mild, but we're still going to want to keep you
01:13:34overnight, okay?
01:13:35Also, there's a detective here that would like to speak with you.
01:13:46Mary, hi.
01:13:48I'm Detective Fredericks with the Palm Springs Police.
01:13:52I'd like to get more background about your husband, Jason.
01:13:56Yeah, that's fine.
01:13:57Thanks.
01:13:58Hey, Loretta.
01:13:59Hello?
01:14:00Dr. Williams?
01:14:01No, I can't.
01:14:02I can't get a sitter that fast.
01:14:03Dr. Williams, I'm sorry.
01:14:04It's really urgent.
01:14:05Come on.
01:14:06You're just now telling me this.
01:14:07I just have to show you one thing.
01:14:08I've got to call you back.
01:14:09It's just going to be really quick.
01:14:10Right, so patient.
01:14:11It's just going to be really quick.
01:14:12Right, so patient.
01:14:13It's just going to be really quick.
01:14:14It's just going to be really quick.
01:14:15Right, so patient.
01:14:16It's just going to be really bad.
01:14:17It's just going to be really bad.
01:14:18I'm sorry.
01:14:19I'm so sorry, I can't do that.
01:14:29I'm 21, I'm 25, but...
01:14:34Ugh!
01:15:07They told me it's not likely you'll wake up.
01:15:32I don't believe it.
01:15:35I know you.
01:15:37And when you do, we're going to talk more, okay?
01:15:42We're not going to hide things.
01:15:48I'm scared though, Stephen.
01:15:52But I'm still here.
01:15:55And so are you.
01:15:56I'm still here.
01:15:57I'm still here.
01:15:59I'm still here.
01:16:01I'm still here.
01:16:01I'm still here.
01:16:01I'm still here.
01:16:03I'm still here.
01:16:03I'm still here.
01:16:05I'm still here.
01:16:05I'm still here.