Double Chicken Pad Thai Review
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#fastfood #foodie #food #foryourpage #hungry #review #mukbang #foodshorts
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00That's a pretty dish. Okay. That's good enough. Oh, gosh. Ooh-wee. Let me see. Messy old table over here. Oh. I'm going to try to finish this, but I'm not going to worry about the lid.
00:30Hmm. Hmm. Okay. Yep. Y'all can't see it any better, but at least it's lifted up a little bit higher. Let me get some of these peanuts out of the corners. They put the peanuts in the corners. I like the peanuts. Y'all want to know why I have this?
00:56Because I saw Nick on his channel, one of his channels, the other day, eating a Pad Thai that Orlan had made for him. And I was like, damn, I love my Pad Thai from the memory tie, please.
01:09And they stay open 24 hours, so I could get my... Oh, it's so hot. You know what? I don't like this fork. I actually got one right here.
01:25These little white forks are pretty flimsy. I got one of these tough black ones.
01:40Hey, they usually send me at least one in soy sauce. I didn't send that this time. That's okay, though.
01:47I don't care. So, yeah, y'all, I'm dragging. And again, like I said, it's Wednesday. And as of now, I still have not made a doctor's appointment yet.
02:03I'm still psyching myself up. I'm still psyching myself up. And I still keep telling myself things that I need to get done before I can allow myself to leave the apartment.
02:16.... liegt on it.
02:17I don't...
02:22...
02:29....
02:29Mmm!
02:31Yum!
02:37It was steaming.
02:39It was so hot!
02:41Now the green onions.
02:44Oh!
02:45And I'm guessing there are bamboo shoots in there
02:50I've been waiting on my dinner all day y'all
03:15mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
03:22mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
03:31mmm
03:36Come on, the noodles are steaky. kind of stuck together
03:41ever.
04:11You know, I've been noticing that my videos have been like a little out of focus, a little
04:30bit blurry, and I can't figure out what the hell I did.
04:35I don't know.
04:37So, I hope it's not too annoying for you guys.
04:41I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.
04:55Oh, goodness.
04:57Oh, man, the noodles are so good.
05:11I'm not going to go to the back of the back.
05:13Oh, man.
05:14Oh, man.
05:16Oh.
05:18Oh.
05:19Oh.
05:20Oh.
05:21Oh.
05:22so like I said my therapy point
05:52it went well
05:53we talked a lot about
05:56you know what I was going to
05:58go over with my doctor
06:00once I get to see her
06:01and the process
06:05that it's going to take me
06:06to get to that point
06:07you know and then
06:12obviously
06:15you know I need to do blood work and all this stuff
06:17to see if
06:18Ozympic would even be a good fit
06:21for me
06:21or if there's other things
06:25that I could do similarly
06:26and I talked to her
06:41about fears
06:41where it comes to that too
06:43you know
06:44my job is eating
06:47pretty much
06:48so
06:49I'm going to have to be
06:51if I'm on something like that
06:53I'm going to have to be careful
06:53what I'm eating
06:54and how much I'm eating of it
06:56because I'm seeing like
06:59stuff from people that say
07:01you lose the weight on Ozympic
07:03because you can't keep any food down
07:05and I'm like
07:05well that's not good
07:07well what are these people
07:10trying to eat
07:11that they're not able
07:13to keep it down
07:13you know
07:14luckily my cousin is on
07:20I know I've mentioned this
07:21my cousin is on Maggiorno
07:22so she can kind of like
07:24guide me to some of the
07:27better choices of food
07:29that you know
07:30would help me not be sick on it
07:34I guess
07:35ordered extra chicken
07:58but it's very lean pieces of chicken
08:07so
08:07I'm getting some extra protein today
08:10with my
08:12pasta
08:13and then these are rice noodles I think
08:18I guess
08:32and then these are
08:35I'm getting some extra protein
08:37and then these are
08:38so it's really a bit
08:39I'm getting some extra protein
08:40so it's about
08:41my heart
08:43and then these are
08:43so it's about
08:45I'm getting some extra protein
08:45so it's about
08:47I'm not going to be able to do this.
09:17I'm sorry.
09:27Dang it, this is so real.
09:47Mm.
10:08Mm.
10:14Mm.
10:14Mm-mm.
10:17It's nice tender breast meat.
10:26Mmm.
10:28Mmm.
10:33Mmm.
10:38Mmm.
10:43Mmm.
10:47Mmm.
10:53Mmm.
10:55Mmm.
10:59Mmm.
11:03Mmm.
11:08So, I mean, there was a lot of other things that I talked to my therapist about today.
11:15My makeup's a little janky, because I had to, like, reapply.
11:20I mean, I already, I went heavy on the liner anyway.
11:28But, I got a little emotional.
11:31You know, I started talking about grief and complicated feelings.
11:38You know, associated with the grief that I'm experiencing right now.
11:46Or, you know, what had happened.
11:52Yeah.
11:55February.
11:58I wasn't fully on track. I had gained 10 pounds.
12:02But I had been kind of holding steady since, like, the end of October.
12:08You know, 380 to 390.
12:10So, I wasn't doing too bad once I got off a carnivore.
12:14But then, I was passed in December.
12:16And, you know, I kind of hung in there for a while in about February.
12:27And I'm looking at my fitness pal recently, because I've weighed myself.
12:31I know where I'm at right now, pretty much.
12:34And, basically, in February, that's where the kind of straight ones started going.
12:39I haven't gained all the weight that I lost back, but the majority of it.
12:48So, yeah, not good.
12:49I mean, and I'm obviously feeling it.
12:51Keep toying with my food.
12:53Because, you know, that therapy kind of was not easy, you know.
13:00And, as I talked to her, I mean, I told her it wasn't anything that I could get all out at once.
13:06Or that we, it was just something that we're going to have to work on.
13:08You know, because, obviously, those complicated feelings, you know.
13:16Gosh.
13:18It affected me enough to where I, you know, I bawled like a baby for a minute.
13:22And I was like, you know, we can't do this today.
13:23I'm not ready.
13:25There's a whole lot.
13:28There's two decades of stuff to unpack there.
13:34Whew.
13:34That's a lot.
13:42You know, because in many ways, the man saved my life.
13:49Gave me a new life.
13:54But, it was one of those, you know, deal with the devil kind of things.
14:00You know, survival, you know, kind of the, this is what you have to do to live, basically.
14:16Oh, man.
14:18So, yeah.
14:19It's going to take a lot of therapy for me to, like, figure out exactly what is going on.
14:26You know, exactly what I'm feeling.
14:27And, basically, why I hate myself.
14:35Because I don't like to think that I do, but, you know.
14:41And it's obvious that I'm definitely not being good to myself most of the time.
14:46Hmm.
14:48Hmm.
14:49Hmm.
14:52Hmm.
14:53Hmm.
14:53Hmm.
14:53Hmm.
14:53Hmm.
14:54Hmm.
14:55Hmm.
14:55Hmm.
14:55Hmm.
14:57Hmm.
15:24Hmm.
15:24So yeah, today was a lot, but the deeper I get into some of that stuff, the easier it's going to be for me to want to take care of myself, you know?
15:54Mm-hmm, and we discussed ways that I could
16:23feel safe leaving the apartment.
16:31I'm going to get like a tote bag
16:32and then I can carry like a smaller person
16:37and a wallet with all my important stuff
16:40that I need. Not too much, but just the main things that I need.
16:50And then the tote, I'm going to have
16:52like a little overnight kit
16:54in case I fall out
16:59and have some kind of
17:01major meltdown out there
17:03and end up being taken to the hospital.
17:09Because that could happen.
17:12At least want to have like a phone charger,
17:17couple little comfy dresses
17:20to wear in the hospital if I go.
17:29Because y'all don't know.
17:30I mean, y'all haven't seen me out like that.
17:36Like back in the day, I used to go shopping with Thomas
17:38and I would get triggered in some sort of way
17:42and start seeing things that freaked me out
17:48or just got these feelings.
17:50and he would be trying to help me
17:55and he would get irritated at me
17:59and he'd start cussing at me
18:02and when he started cussing at me
18:04and, you know, making me feel bad
18:07because I was panicking and having emotions and things,
18:12then I would like escalate
18:15and I'd be screaming and cussing
18:17and Walmart,
18:19you know, just losing it.
18:22So, I mean, I'm not...
18:24What I have to remember
18:26is that when I'm out by myself,
18:30you know, or with somebody that I trust,
18:32and I always said I trusted Thomas, but...
18:34It's like he kind of had this little sadistic thing
18:48where he would poke me
18:50until I was, you know, losing it,
18:53like breaking things,
18:55screaming and crying and hurting myself.
19:04And he'd just laugh.
19:07Thought it was so freaking funny.
19:09I was like, there she is.
19:13I was like, yep, there she is.
19:17You know, and I try to remind myself that
19:20I don't have somebody in my life
19:21that will do that to me now.
19:24Nobody's going to poke at me
19:25until I lose control
19:28or lose myself or black out or whatever.
19:34that I'm going to be okay.
19:55A therapist asked me
19:57when the last time it was
19:59that I hurt myself physically
20:02you know, and I said, well,
20:06other than like overeating
20:08and all that kind of stuff
20:09or, you know, eating stuff
20:11that's bad for me
20:12and things like that, I mean,
20:15I haven't like
20:17f***ed myself or
20:19anything like that
20:21since 2017.
20:23Literally just a couple months
20:25before Thomas had a stroke.
20:28And I told her it was
20:29the silliest thing in the world
20:30that he went at me about.
20:33You know, I registered
20:34to vote that year.
20:36And he just went off on me.
20:41Because there was like a risk of
20:42getting called to jury duty.
20:44And it's like,
20:45it's not like I can't get out
20:46of jury duty.
20:47I mean, look at me.
20:50But anyway, he pushed
20:51and he poked and he pushed
20:52until I was, you know,
20:56slamming and screaming
20:58and had something sharp
21:00and
21:01blamed myself.
21:07But I haven't done it since.
21:10I haven't.
21:11I haven't been
21:12pushed and prodded
21:14to that point.
21:17I mean,
21:18Susan and I, we
21:19we don't always agree
21:20on everything.
21:21On everything.
21:23You know,
21:24and I don't believe
21:25we've ever had like
21:26a real argument.
21:30So,
21:32I'm not a very
21:34argumentative person.
21:36I mean,
21:37I'm,
21:37I'm one of those people,
21:38you know,
21:39somebody can just,
21:40somebody can tell me
21:40that two plus two is eight.
21:42And I'm like,
21:43okay,
21:45whatever you say.
21:46You know,
21:47I don't like conflict.
21:48I hate conflict.
21:51Oh,
21:51God.
21:53But some people,
21:54they just thrive on it
21:55and
21:55ooh wee.
21:57I don't need that
21:58in my life.
22:03Mm.
22:04Mm-mm.
22:08I was telling her
22:09that's,
22:10that's why I'm still single,
22:11I guess.
22:12I mean,
22:13just to worry.
22:16And it's not like
22:17I haven't hung out
22:18with nice people.
22:19You know,
22:20but there's just,
22:22just after being on my own
22:23for,
22:23for as long as I have now,
22:25it's like,
22:26man.
22:30Like,
22:30why take a chance?
22:33I don't know.
22:34Oh,
22:35crud.
22:38Mm-mm.
22:41Mm.
22:44Mm.
22:45Mm.
22:46So,
22:49really,
22:49therapy,
22:51therapy's
22:55really important
22:56for me right now.
22:58Mm.
23:02Mm.
23:06Yeah.
23:06Mm.
23:06And I told her
23:12about my,
23:13not getting,
23:14not letting myself
23:15make that appointment yet.
23:17And she's like,
23:17the week's not over.
23:18I'm like,
23:19no,
23:20it's not,
23:20it's not,
23:21it's not over.
23:26Mm.
23:26Mm.
23:26Mm.
23:26Mm.
23:27Mm.
23:27It's just so weird.
23:30I mean,
23:30it's like,
23:31I opened up the note
23:32and then I have,
23:34you know,
23:34her name
23:35and all the numbers
23:37and address
23:38and all that stuff on it.
23:40And I looked at it
23:41and just,
23:42all of a sudden,
23:43I started breathing faster
23:45and I started feeling
23:46tightness
23:47and,
23:47and I was like,
23:49no,
23:49no,
23:49no,
23:50no,
23:50no,
23:50no,
23:51no,
23:51no,
23:51no.
23:53It was like that.
23:54Oh,
23:55fuck.
23:57Oh,
23:58man,
23:58oh,
23:58man.
24:00Not yet.
24:05Mm.
24:06It seems so silly.
24:09You know,
24:09but I posted on
24:11the community
24:12page
24:13yesterday
24:15about not
24:16having a video
24:17ready to go up today
24:18and
24:19the outpouring of support
24:21from all of the people
24:22who understand
24:23what I'm going through
24:24that also experience
24:26anxiety
24:27and panic
24:27and agoraphobia.
24:30That was just,
24:32you know,
24:33that,
24:33that really,
24:34really touched my heart.
24:35And I'm like,
24:36yep,
24:37I'm not going to give up.
24:42Mm.
24:43It's like one little thing
24:45at a time here.
24:50Mm.
24:50Mm.
24:51Mm.
24:53Mm.
24:54Mm.
24:57Mm.
24:57Mm.
24:59Mm.
25:01Mm-hmm.
25:02Mm-hmm.
25:03Mm-hmm.
25:07Mm-hmm.
25:09Mm.
25:09Mm.
25:09Mm-hmm.
25:11Mm-hmm.
25:11Mm-hmm.
25:13No shit, it's just got the regular size to you, but, this is literally my one meal of
25:24the day.
25:25Ugh.
25:27You know, and I ate some cookies earlier.
25:29I did eat some cookies.
25:32I ate those before I had my appointment.
25:38About 3.30 today.
25:41And I have some Oreos.
25:43Mmm.
25:46Mmm.
25:52But I put makeup on.
25:54I didn't think I was going to cry.
25:56I didn't think I was.
25:57I was like, I'm just going to talk about the doctor stuff.
26:00And I just wanted to tell her that I wanted to get into the Thomas stuff.
26:06And grieving someone that you loved, that you also have complicated feelings about.
26:14Mmm.
26:16Mmm.
26:28Mmm.
26:28But,
26:29I was trying to explain why the feelings were complicated and I went too deep.
26:37What I did do, though, is, is our plan was to meet every three weeks because we were meeting
26:47once a month, like, way back.
26:49Before the insurance, like, wouldn't pay for anymore.
26:56My previous insurance.
26:59Whew.
26:59So, uh, you know, three weeks and it's like, now I'm like, can we try every two weeks?
27:05Let's see.
27:06Should probably just do once a week.
27:12I'm just afraid.
27:13I mean, this is like the first time I'm getting to use the new insurance.
27:17I'm like, how many visits do I get?
27:20Is it going to interfere with how many doctor visits I can get?
27:24I don't know how it works.
27:25I don't want therapy to, like, screw me out of actual, like, doctor-doctor stuff.
27:38Mmm.
27:40Mmm.
27:48Mmm.
27:52I don't am filling up.
27:55Mmm.
28:01More chicken.
28:04Mmm.
28:06Mmm.
28:22Mmm.
28:23Mmm.
28:24talked about depression and how I experienced my depression. One of the first things she
28:35asked me was like, how's your mood? How was that? I was like, I'm here. I'm here. She's
28:47like, well, just describe how you're feeling. I was like, well, not as hopeless. She kind
28:53of like dug in a little deeper. I didn't know what else to say. I mean, so basically there's
29:02hope. And then I talked to her about like, you know, when I laugh and I giggle all the
29:14time, it's just kind of a self-soothing thing, I guess. Excuse me. Does it feel kind of
29:29awkward, I guess? Because I don't know what other kind of emotions I'm having other than
29:36like, oh, I just, I need to like cover. So I'm like, ha ha. It's kind of one of those
29:44things. You know, laugh so you don't cry. You can't eat all the chicken.
29:58that's it. All right. I'm gonna eat some of those noodles. I ate most of it. Mmm. This
30:26might go up Saturday. I might do something else before the end of the week too. I don't
30:32know. I'm gonna feel soon. But yeah, I definitely, I definitely had a day. But I wanted to order
30:44food, so I better film it. Mmm. Mmm. I hope this wasn't depressing or anything. I mean, I'm just
31:00trying to be me. And I'm definitely not in one of those sunshine and rainbows moods, but
31:09you know, I very rarely am anyway. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. But you know, I wanted to talk about my therapy.
31:20You know, and just a little bit, you know. I don't have to give too much, but you know, I did like,
31:30probably did say too much. I mean, y'all don't need to know how it was between me and Thomas. Definitely,
31:37you know, we had good times back in the day, but there was a lot more to it. It was a symbiotic
31:48type relationship in many ways. You know, it was pretty toxic. Like I said, it was a lot.