Boots! Boots! (1934) is a delightful British musical comedy that marked the cinematic debut of one of the UK’s most beloved entertainers—George Formby. Set against the backdrop of a bustling hotel, this low-budget yet high-charm production launched Formby into stardom with his cheeky persona, ukulele tunes, and knack for physical comedy.
The film, though simplistic in its set and scope, captured the hearts of working-class Britain during a difficult economic time. With its endearing humor, catchy songs, and underdog protagonist, Boots! Boots! remains an important milestone in British cinema history.
📖 Plot Summary
George (played by George Formby) is a cheeky, clumsy boot cleaner working in a posh Lancashire hotel. Always up to mischief, George’s dreams of stardom and romance lead him into a series of hilarious escapades. He’s hopelessly in love with Mary (Beryl Formby), a sweet hotel maid who supports George’s dreams despite his antics.
While trying to impress Mary and gain recognition, George inadvertently gets tangled in upper-class affairs at the hotel. In true Formby fashion, he ends up in wild predicaments, mistaken identities, and comedic misunderstandings—eventually saving the day and winning over hearts with his music and charm.
The film is peppered with classic Formby tunes, including the unforgettable “Why Don’t Women Like Me?” and “Sitting on the Ice in the Ice Rink.”
The film, though simplistic in its set and scope, captured the hearts of working-class Britain during a difficult economic time. With its endearing humor, catchy songs, and underdog protagonist, Boots! Boots! remains an important milestone in British cinema history.
📖 Plot Summary
George (played by George Formby) is a cheeky, clumsy boot cleaner working in a posh Lancashire hotel. Always up to mischief, George’s dreams of stardom and romance lead him into a series of hilarious escapades. He’s hopelessly in love with Mary (Beryl Formby), a sweet hotel maid who supports George’s dreams despite his antics.
While trying to impress Mary and gain recognition, George inadvertently gets tangled in upper-class affairs at the hotel. In true Formby fashion, he ends up in wild predicaments, mistaken identities, and comedic misunderstandings—eventually saving the day and winning over hearts with his music and charm.
The film is peppered with classic Formby tunes, including the unforgettable “Why Don’t Women Like Me?” and “Sitting on the Ice in the Ice Rink.”
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The End
02:29Shut up.
02:31Odd shoes at every door.
02:33What have you got to say to that?
02:34Well, I was going to...
02:35Don't answer me back.
02:37And another thing.
02:37What have you done with Mrs. Shortbottom's shoes?
02:40Come on.
02:41Out with it.
02:42Mrs. Shortbottom.
02:43Mrs. Shortbottom.
02:44Yes.
02:45Come on.
02:45Where are they?
02:46Oh, she hasn't got any bottoms.
02:48Well, what do you want?
02:51You want it immediately, sir.
02:52Oh.
02:59You know what I'd have done if he'd have done that to me?
03:01What would you do?
03:02I'd have got hold of this shoe and...
03:03When you finish with these shoes, my office shoe...
03:08Yes, sir.
03:15Good afternoon.
03:16Good afternoon.
03:17Good afternoon.
03:19Have you been hiking?
03:20Hiking?
03:20I'm hiking all over.
03:23We want room.
03:25I'm sorry, madam, but we're full up.
03:33Well, we've hiked 35 miles here.
03:36I will hike 35 miles back.
03:39Come along, Charles.
03:40All right, my dear.
03:4135 miles.
03:42I'll bet it's up here all the way.
03:44Good afternoon, miss.
03:48Complaint.
03:49Complaint.
03:50I'm getting fed up with the whole thing here.
03:55Fed up?
03:55Yes.
03:56But you're not fed up with me, are you, love?
03:58No, not with you, Snooki.
04:00But it's that other big walrus.
04:02I don't know.
04:03You wanted it.
04:03You wanted it.
04:04I don't know what the blotting paper they want people to do in the place.
04:08But what...
04:08Listen, Snooki.
04:09What does he want you for in the office?
04:12I don't know.
04:12Same old thing, I suppose.
04:15Perhaps he wants to give you a rise.
04:17Yeah, that's a good one.
04:18Well, with the sound of it, it'll be with his foot.
04:21Oh.
04:22Isn't it?
04:22What?
04:23Would you do something for me?
04:25Oh, you know, I'd do anything for you, John.
04:27Would you?
04:28I would.
04:29Well, sit yourself down on that chair.
04:31On here?
04:32Yes.
04:33Now, are you comfortable?
04:35Oh, quite.
04:37Sure?
04:37Positive.
04:38Well, get all them boots paired up while I go and see them.
04:54Come in.
05:00It's you, is it?
05:01No, sir.
05:01What do you mean, no, sir?
05:04Well, you didn't see me come in, did you?
05:05No, I did not.
05:06Well, how did you know it was me?
05:08Look here, I've got no time to talk to a fool.
05:10Oh, well, I've plenty.
05:11Will you be quiet?
05:13Yes, sir.
05:14Now, look here.
05:15I've had a lot of complaints about you lately from different people in the hotel.
05:19And I'm not going to stand it much longer.
05:22Do you understand?
05:23Yes, sir.
05:24Now, for the last time, listen to your duties.
05:26Yes, sir.
05:27You will rise at 6 a.m., collect all the boots and shoes in the various bedroom corridors,
05:33clean them, and have them back in their places at 8 a.m.
05:36Well, I am going to be quick, aren't I?
05:38Yes, you are.
05:39And further, you will also work days off.
05:44Days off?
05:45Days off.
05:45How the blood of the lad can I work days off?
05:48By that I mean, if the hairdresser has a day off, you'll take charge of the hairdressing department.
05:54And if the chef has a day off, you'll take charge of the kitchen, and so on.
05:59Now, do you understand?
06:00Yes, and I suppose if I have my own day, I can do a few odd jobs at all.
06:05Yeah, now get out!
06:06Where?
06:07There!
06:07Who?
06:08You!
06:08Me!
06:09Yes, you!
06:10Me!
06:10You!
06:11Get out!
06:11Me!
06:12Me!
06:13No, I'm me.
06:14I say get out!
06:15You said you get out!
06:16You get out!
06:17You get out!
06:18You!
06:18You!
06:19No, no, no, you!
06:20Oh, if you're getting out, I have no need to bother, have I?
06:23Will you get up?
06:25Listen, you distinctly said to me, you get out.
06:27Well, I'm not you, I'm me.
06:29No, no, I'm me.
06:30Oh, no, fair's fair.
06:32I'm me.
06:32I am me.
06:34Well, listen, sit down and we'll I give this point out.
06:37Now, look, anybody with any sense knows that you are you and I'm me.
06:42My dear chap, you're you and I'm me.
06:44Oh, if you'd any more sense, you'd be daft.
06:47Listen, you are you, I'm me.
06:49I'm me.
06:50I'm me.
06:51Well, there's dust up for it.
06:52All right, then.
06:54Now, whoever's you goes out.
06:59Head.
07:01I'm you.
07:07Hairdressers.
07:09Kitchen.
07:11Oh, I'm getting fed up with this job.
07:14You've been a long time, John Willie.
07:15I've had a real good go at him.
07:17Did you?
07:18Aye, I told him where to get off.
07:19That's fine.
07:24Where did you get them from?
07:25I was having a look round and found them, of course.
07:28Well, you've no right to find them.
07:29No.
07:30They're very important.
07:31Are they?
07:32Yes, they are.
07:33Why?
07:34Because I wrote them.
07:35Did you?
07:36Yes.
07:37When?
07:38In my spare time.
07:39Oh, John Willie.
07:40There's one there, I think, simply beautiful.
07:43Here?
07:44Yes.
07:45Which one?
07:46That one with baby arms.
07:47Look.
07:48This one.
07:50Oh, that little love song.
07:52Yes.
07:53I'd love you to try it over for me.
07:55Would you?
07:56I would.
07:57Well, you've been a good girl.
07:58You've put all my boots straight.
08:00Where's my ukulele?
08:02It's over here.
08:03Bring it here, then.
08:04All right.
08:06Come and sit down here.
08:07There you are.
08:08What?
08:10Do you know, Snooki?
08:11What?
08:12When I wrote this song, I was thinking about you.
08:14Were you really?
08:15Mm-hmm.
08:17Baby, baby, you're my sweetheart.
08:28Baby, baby, say we'll never part.
08:37I love you.
08:38Although the skies be dreary and grey, promise me that you'll never stray away, my baby.
08:52Baby, baby, you're my sweetheart.
08:53Baby, you're my sweetheart.
08:54Baby, you're my sweetheart.
08:55Baby, you're my sweetheart.
08:59I love you all day through.
09:13Nobody else in this strange big world for me will do, do, do.
09:25Come in.
09:26Hello, dear.
09:27What do you want?
09:29We want some new towels.
09:31One more wash with these and there'll be nothing left at all.
09:35Sit down there.
09:36Besides, I have a complaint to make.
09:39What's the trouble?
09:40Who came into my room last night?
09:42Why, nobody.
09:43I thought so.
09:44That's what I'm complaining about.
09:48Ha, ha, ha.
09:49I say, Barnaby, seriously.
09:50Do you know Sir Alfred Royston and his bride are coming here today?
09:53Really?
09:54Yes, and I want you to look after them.
09:56Why, of course, darling.
09:57Do you know, I wouldn't trust anybody but you.
10:01Ah, baloney.
10:03Ha, ha.
10:04But you're still a darling.
10:20All right, I'll attend to that.
10:21Goodbye.
10:24Bye-bye.
10:31I saw you.
10:34Oh, hoo hoo.
10:42Come in.
10:48Oh, it's you again.
10:49Oh, it's me.
10:51Oh, don't stop it.
10:53Don't stop again.
10:54But to save any arguments, he's me.
10:59What do you want?
11:01Well, it's this day's off business.
11:03Well, don't you understand it?
11:05No, I've tried to write it out, but I can't get right in the figures.
11:08Oh, look here. Come to my desk and I'll explain it all.
11:11Over there?
11:12Over there.
11:13Right.
11:14Excuse me. I'm me again.
11:20What are you laughing about?
11:22I was wondering if he saw what I saw.
11:25What did you see?
11:26You little rascal.
11:28I saw you kissing Mary, but don't worry.
11:30I won't tell anybody, only a few strangers and some friends.
11:33Yes, you'll tell nobody.
11:35No, sir.
11:36Well, now, it's about this day's off.
11:37Well, what do you want to know?
11:39Well, now, how do I know whose day off it is?
11:42You'll find that on the notice board in the kitchen.
11:45Well, how many hours a day do I work?
11:47Eight.
11:48And how many hours are there in a day?
11:50Twenty-four.
11:51Well, that's eight into twenty-four.
11:53Three.
11:54Three, sir.
11:55Now we're getting to it.
11:58Now, then.
11:59In leap year, we have three hundred and sixty-six days.
12:02Yes.
12:03Now, one-third of three hundred and sixty-six...
12:06Is a hundred and twenty-two.
12:08Hundred and twenty-two.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Now, then.
12:11I don't have to work on Sundays, do I?
12:13No.
12:14Right. Now, that's fifty-two days from a hundred and twenty-two.
12:17Yeah.
12:18How many does that leave?
12:19Seventy.
12:20What the devil are you driving at?
12:22You'll see in a minute.
12:24Now, I have a half a day off on Wednesday.
12:26Yeah.
12:27And a half a day on Saturday, don't I?
12:29Yes.
12:30That's another fifty-two from seventy.
12:32Yeah.
12:33How many does that leave?
12:34Eighteen.
12:35Eighteen.
12:36Ah.
12:37Now, then.
12:38I don't have to work Christmas Day, New Year's Day, Good Friday and Easter Monday, do I?
12:44No.
12:45Well, that's another four from eighteen.
12:47Yeah.
12:48How many does that leave?
12:49Fourteen days.
12:50Fourteen days?
12:51Yes.
12:52Well, I must have a fortnight's holiday.
12:54You know, I never thought of that.
12:56You see?
12:57Yeah.
12:58No.
12:59What is this all about?
13:03Look here.
13:04Tell me.
13:05How long were you in your last situation?
13:07Three years.
13:08Yes.
13:09And why did you leave?
13:10I was pardoned.
13:11Get out.
13:12Who?
13:13You.
13:14Me?
13:15Yes.
13:16Get out there.
13:17Of all them numbskulls I've ever met in my life then, Booth, is it?
13:22Hello.
13:23Yes, it's...
13:25I'll be down in a moment.
13:27So wait...
13:30What the help?
13:31Hello.
13:32I'm saying, wait a minute.
13:33I want to remember, I was going to be back here.
13:36I don't know.
13:37I want to give up on the phone.
13:39I'm sorry.
13:40I'm sorry.
13:41I'm sorry.
13:42I'm sorry.
13:43I can't believe you.
13:44Maybe.
13:45I'm sorry.
13:46Just watch.
13:47I'll be right back here.
13:48I don't know.
13:49I'm sorry.
13:50I'm sorry.
13:51I'm sorry.
13:52I do.
13:53I'm sorry.
13:54I'll be right back here.
13:55I'm sorry.
13:56I'm sorry.
13:57Oh, John Willie. You did frighten me. What are you doing in here anyway? I've just come in to see if the bathroom's all right for the new married couple. Oh, is it all? Have you seen them? Yes. Are they nice? Oh, they're lovely people. You know, I'd like to get married. Oh, why don't you get married? Why don't I?
14:27Yes. Who's going to marry a boot? I know someone who would. Who? Snooki. Don't be duff. I've not been duff at all. I tell you, she likes you very much. Listen. Yes. Listen, John Willie. Why don't you be a little more kinder to Snooki? She's always talking about you and your songs, and I'm sure she loves you very much. Oh. Well, I love Snooki, but I don't know how to tell her. Don't you really? No. Well, John Willie, would you like me to show you?
14:57How to make love? I wouldn't mind. Well, all right, now get set. Yes. Now, wait a minute. Put your arm around me. You what? Put your arm around me. I don't like. Oh, come on, John Willie. Look. Like that. Oh, listen. Isn't that nice? Ah, champion. Listen. What? You've got to imagine that I'm Snooki. You're Snooki? Yes. All right. Now, listen. What?
15:27What did I tell you? Well, what does Instinct tell you? Instinct? Yes. Has he had his arm around you? Oh, silly. What does your intelligence tell you? Oh, it tells me that this is no place for a growing lad. John Willie. What? Can't you feel a strange sensation? Yes, I can. A peculiar feeling within you? Yes, I can. John Willie. Yes?
15:57Oh, don't burst. Don't do something. John Willie. What? Look into my eyes. Which one? Both of them, you fool. John Willie. What? Don't you know that the eyes are the windows of the soul? Yes. Well, your windows want washing.
16:13Come here. Those eyes like twin stars. Yes. Those nostrils like twin cylinders. Yes. Those ears like twin petals. Petals? Mm-hmm. What kind of petals? Bicycle petals. Oh, John Willie. What? Can't you picture our future? Can't you picture our married life in years to come? I can see a pretty little cottage. A cozy little room.
16:43The fire is burning bright. The fire is burning bright. Two chairs are drawn up there. You and I are sitting there. And look. Look. I'm looking. There in the corner I can see a baby's cradle. And look. Oh, what a lovely picture. I can see it all. Suddenly, the door opens. And in rushes a handsome boy. The image of you rushes in from school. Look. The door opens again.
17:12And a rosy cheeked little girl. The image of me rushes in from school. And look. The door opens again. And where are you going? Me? Yes.
17:42I want a room. You want a room? Yes. What kind of a room? A pink room. Well, you can't have a pink room. Well, I must have a pink room. You can have a yellow room. A yellow room? Mm-hmm. Oh, I would positively dye one of those.
17:52Oh, we can't have a little love ducking, can we? Oh, fairies. Here we come gather in nuts in May. Nut in May. Nut in May. Here we come gather in nuts in May. The cold and frosty morning. Here we come gather in nuts in May.
18:08London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, London Bridge is falling down now, I've found it.
18:15Get out of here, get out of here.
18:18London Bridge is falling down.
18:21Yee-haw!
18:23Yee-haw!
18:24Well done Peggy.
18:26We'll take this up to the manager and get this okayed immediately.
18:29Oh.
18:30Get this okayed with the manager.
18:32I'll be seeing it.
18:38Oh Mr, Mr Dawson, just excuse me, will you, will you okay this list for me?
18:46Alright.
18:47What have you got there?
18:48Well I've got, I've got one pair of velveteen trousers.
18:51One pair of velveteen trousers?
18:54One a nine-pence-eight-ny a yard.
18:56One a nine-pence-eight-ny a yard?
18:57Have you got those down?
18:58I've got those down.
18:59Well pull them up again.
19:01Excuse me, that was only a little joke on my part you see.
19:05This is what I want you to put down.
19:07One bottle of crucian salt.
19:10One bottle of crucian salt.
19:12One and sixpence-eight-ny.
19:14One and sixpence-eight-ny.
19:15Have you got that down?
19:16I've got that down.
19:17Well, here you go.
19:20Blutty idiot!
19:22Barmy!
19:25Barmy!
19:27What?
19:33This isn't okay.
19:37I know it's not.
19:39If I had stopped there any longer, I'd have been KO'd!
19:42You stay here until I come back.
19:44All right, Peggy.
19:46Say, I don't know, you women.
19:48No wonder Adam lost his job.
19:53I want to complain about my room.
19:55What room?
19:56Why, my bedroom, you fool.
19:58Oh, say, what name, please?
20:01Wetton.
20:02Eh?
20:03Wetton.
20:04Wetton.
20:05Wetton.
20:06Well, you can't blame me for that.
20:08Married?
20:09Of course I'm not married.
20:11No, I didn't think you would be.
20:13The man I marry was neither sloot nor dink.
20:16Well, you'd better go round to the cemetery and dig yourself one up.
20:19Oh, I see.
20:20You are one of those smart youths who thinks he knows everything.
20:25Well, I do know everything.
20:27Well, tell me this.
20:28How long can a person live without brains?
20:32I don't know. How old are you?
20:34Oh, now look here. What's about my room?
20:37Well, you can have number 13, missus.
20:40Not so much of your missus, you young pot.
20:43Go on, you cheeky-poss cats.
20:45I'm not a cat.
20:46You are a cat.
20:47I'm not a cat.
20:48It's all for a kitten.
20:49Oh, bah! Bah!
20:50Bah!
20:51And bah to you and all.
20:53Oh, you two at it again?
20:55Why don't you stop arguing?
20:57What's for tea, chef?
20:58What's on the table?
20:59Oh, so you're getting started up too, are you?
21:01What's the matter with him, Snooki?
21:03Oh, he's been after John Willie again?
21:04He would.
21:05Why don't you leave him alone?
21:07I don't like him.
21:08I've had enough of his insultations.
21:10Ah!
21:13Hello, bloated face.
21:22You see what he do to me then?
21:23I kill you this night.
21:24Get away, get away.
21:25I'll stab you in four places at once.
21:28I swear you'll do that, son.
21:30I swear you'll do that, son.
21:31You'll pull me down like that.
21:36Oh, come along, both of you, and have your tea.
21:38Every time he come here, there's always a noise.
21:41It's disgraceful.
21:42Every time you two meet, so there's a rob.
21:44Why blame me?
21:45Why not blame him sometimes?
21:47Well, why can't you be more friendly with him?
21:49Friendly with him?
21:50Yes.
21:51I'll eat him.
21:52You're telling me.
21:54Well, you two stop arguing.
21:56Yes, for heaven's sake, stop it, will you?
21:59Ah, well, give us a cup of tea.
22:00All right.
22:03Ah, these are the lad who made these.
22:05Those are the cake I make.
22:06I make those cake before you were born.
22:09Ah, this is one of them.
22:10Take your way for your such stuff again.
22:12John Willie.
22:13What?
22:14Tell us all about this latest song of yours, will you?
22:16Ah, latest song.
22:17Don't make me laugh again.
22:19Him sing, eh?
22:20Ho, ho, ho.
22:21Hey, you wait till you've heard it.
22:23What about you?
22:24What can you do?
22:25What can I do, eh?
22:26I'll recite.
22:28I'll recite a recitation that'll make you cry.
22:32Make me cry?
22:33Make you cry.
22:35Ah, this is enough here to make you cry.
22:38John Willie.
22:39If the chef wants to recite, well, let him recite.
22:42Oh, there's nobody stopping him.
22:44I recite to bring the tears down your nose.
22:47Down my nose?
22:48Yes.
22:49Yes.
22:50It's a good job I've not crossed either.
22:51Let it go down my back.
22:52Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
22:55Oh, dash it.
22:56That's for me.
22:57Oh, it's no kiss.
22:58I'll be back in a moment though.
23:00Alright.
23:01Get on with the recitation.
23:02I recite for you the little poem called Jack and Jill.
23:07That's not going to make me cry.
23:09You wait a minute.
23:10Jack and Jill walk up the hill.
23:12Yes.
23:13To bring the pail of water.
23:14Yes, but when do I cry?
23:15Be quiet, John Willie.
23:17Jack and Jill walk up the hill to bring the pail of water.
23:20Yes.
23:21Jack fell down and broke his pram.
23:23Uh-huh.
23:24And Jill, she spilled the water.
23:27Ha!
23:28Ha!
23:29Ha!
23:30Ha!
23:31You see what I do with it there?
23:32Ah, that's a dirty trick now, isn't it?
23:34Ha!
23:35Ha!
23:36Ha!
23:37Ha!
23:38Ha!
23:39Listen, frog face.
23:42You know you deliberately used Jack and Jill to wet me through.
23:45Give me that.
23:46Jack and Jill.
23:50Why?
23:51What's the matter, John Willie?
23:52There's just been a leak.
23:53Ah.
23:54Oh, listen, Snoopy.
23:55What?
23:56Would you like to hear a dramatic recitation that will make you cry?
23:59Oh, I'd love to hear a recitation.
24:01Well, now you just sit still and I'll tell you this recitation.
24:05Alright.
24:06Now Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
24:11What did they want water for?
24:12How do I know? Ask him, he told me first.
24:15I don't tell him that at all. Be quiet.
24:17Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
24:21Jack fell down and broke his crown.
24:24Oh, had he one of those?
24:26Of course he had one. He'd look funny without one, wouldn't he?
24:28A crown?
24:29Yes, don't say he had one of these.
24:31That's my head.
24:33Get away, that's not a head. It's only a temple. It hasn't come to any yet. Now be quiet.
24:37Alright.
24:38Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water.
24:43Jack fell down and broke his crown and he spilt all the water.
24:47Oh, what did he do again?
24:50He broke all the game like that. Oh, and you're the seat of the funny man.
24:54I haven't done it wrong.
24:56Oh, Diablo, what did he do to that man? I killed him. Where is the man? Where is that man? I killed him.
25:08Oh, that man, look at him. Where's my knife? Give me the knife, please.
25:12I cut his face off. Where are we? Oh, look at him. Oh, my God, where is he?
25:26Oh, and here.
25:27Oh, Troy.
25:28Oh, my God.
25:29Oh, my God, where is he? How long has he been left where hislishing?
25:30What, what were you through, orderly?
25:34Everybody, go ahead and look at him.
25:35Oh, my God.
25:48Everybody, we will go right to Mukher.
25:50Don't vote literally in his eyes.
25:52Oh.
25:53I'm afraid you're it into his eyes.
25:54It's a very weird one over here.
25:55This is the only one today, Ms. Bennett, who's kissed.
26:20Oh, it's her birth again!
26:23Isn't he the wonderful boy?
26:26John Willie?
26:27What?
26:28Take those into the pantry for me, will you, please?
26:30These?
26:31Yes.
26:32Hey?
26:33Yes?
26:34Is this all?
26:36That's all, yes.
26:41Oh!
26:46Oh, my goodness!
26:49Honey, liberal, come all.
26:53John Willie, you are clumsy.
26:55Well, it's out of my hand.
26:56Come out of the way.
26:57Let me get this mess cleaned up before anyone sees it.
27:00All right.
27:01Here, aren't you going to help me?
27:02Oh, yes, I'll help you.
27:03Oh!
27:04Oh!
27:05Now look what you've done.
27:07Hello, Flora.
27:08Why don't you try and smash up the whole hotel?
27:11Here, smash that!
27:12Oh, that's easy.
27:13Oh!
27:14Good gracious!
27:15Look at that!
27:18I didn't want you to do that.
27:20I don't know you women.
27:22You don't know what you do want it.
27:23When you get it, you don't want it.
27:24You deliberately told me.
27:25Oh, and do you believe everything you're told?
27:28Well, why shouldn't I?
27:30Hmm.
27:31Would you believe me if I told you I could dance?
27:33Dance?
27:34Yes.
27:35Hmm.
27:36What when?
27:37With these.
27:48Tough thing.
27:49You might have kicked anybody then.
27:51Ha ha!
27:54Oh, come here.
27:55That's no good at all.
27:57You're too slow.
27:58I might.
27:59Yes.
28:00You want more fire in your feet.
28:01Bit of life.
28:02Like, watch me.
28:03Like this, look.
28:07Ha ha!
28:08Like that?
28:09No, not like that.
28:10But you see the idea.
28:11I don't.
28:12Well, come over here.
28:13Then you can dance better.
28:15All right.
28:16Get on here then.
28:17What, up here?
28:18Yes.
28:19Well, give me this.
28:20You'll not need that.
28:21Aha.
28:22Oh, that's fine.
28:24Now listen, I'll play this.
28:25And when you hear me play, you start dancing.
28:27All right.
28:28And the faster I play, the faster you dance.
28:30Splendid.
28:31Now, are you ready?
28:32I'm ready.
28:33One, two.
28:43No, no, it's no good.
28:44You're not dancing fast enough.
28:46You want more life into it.
28:47Well, I can't dance any faster than that.
28:50Oh, you will in a minute.
28:52Well, now start again.
28:53Are you ready?
28:54I'm ready.
28:55One, two.
29:05John!
29:06John!
29:07What's the matter?
29:08And what are you laughing at?
29:11You did look funny on there.
29:13I'm wanted.
29:14Oh, but I did dung.
29:15El perro muchacho.
29:17So, this time I catch you red footed, eh?
29:19What if I do that man?
29:20Oh, chef.
29:21Please don't ask questions.
29:22Come and do something for me.
29:23Me do something?
29:24Yes.
29:25One or two.
29:26One or two.
29:27One.
29:28One or two.
29:29One or two.
29:30One or two.
29:31One.
29:32One.
29:33One.
29:34One.
29:35One.
29:36One.
29:37One.
29:38One.
29:39One.
29:40One.
29:41One.
29:42One.
29:43One.
29:44She get a pole asathiopal sun!
29:45Sheッ!
29:46One!
29:47Just come and do something for me.
29:48Me do something?
29:49Yes.
29:50Well, no that man there, he say he make you happy all your life!
29:51You cry, why?
29:52Tell me!
29:53Oh, don't be so cruel.
29:54Come and do something for my foot!
29:56For your foot?
29:57Yes!
29:58That foot, That's a nice leg, you have.
30:00That's a nice leg but you break my heart!
30:03Oh, No.
30:04You too?
30:05No.
30:06Chef,
30:07will you do me a favor?
30:08Snokey,
30:09I'll do you a favor.
30:10You will?
30:11I'll do a favor for you.
30:12Promise?
30:13I promise you won't be unkind to John Willie from now on.
30:17John Willie?
30:18Yes.
30:19John Willie, that's the first thing I told you.
30:21Snooki.
30:22Yes.
30:23For you, I promise anything.
30:24Oh, Chef!
30:26You've made me the happiest girl in the world!
30:31Snooki!
30:32Snooki!
30:33You're the nicest...
30:35What's the matter?
30:36What's the matter you do this?
30:43You dirty double little crosser.
30:47For two pins, I'd push your face round the back of your neck.
30:51I might have known it, though.
30:53I don't know.
30:55If women like you like men like him,
30:58then why don't women like me?
31:00There must be something wrong with me.
31:04Now I know I'm not handsome,
31:07no good looks or well,
31:09but the girls I chase say my plain face
31:12will compromise their health.
31:14Now I know fellas worse than me,
31:17bow-legged and boss-high,
31:20walking out with lovely women,
31:22clinging to their side.
31:25Now if women like them like men like those,
31:28why don't women like me?
31:30Look at Empress Josephine,
31:33the most attractive woman that ever was seen,
31:36yet Napoleon's short and fat,
31:39captive it's a lovely looking dame like that.
31:41Now if women like them like men like those,
31:44why don't women like me?
31:46Hey, hey,
31:47why don't women like me?
31:49Last night I went out walking,
31:51my intentions were to click,
31:54but the sights I saw while walking out,
31:57they nearly made me sick.
31:59I must admit,
32:01I saw some girls' attractive little dears.
32:05I'm in arms with ugly men with cauliflower ears,
32:10so if women like them like men like those,
32:13why don't women like me?
32:15What can the attraction be?
32:18That's the thing that always has to worry me,
32:21although I haven't got a bean,
32:24I've got a lot of things the girls have never seen.
32:26So if women like them like men like those,
32:29why don't women like me?
32:31Hey, hey,
32:32why don't women like me?
32:34Now if women like them like men like those,
32:37why don't women like me?
32:39Take Lord Nelson with one limb,
32:42Lady William Hamilton she fell for him,
32:45with one eye and one arm gone west,
32:48she ran like the devil and she grabbed the rest.
32:50So if women like them like men like those,
32:53why don't women like me?
32:55Hey, hey,
32:56why don't women like me?
32:59I know why women don't like you.
33:02And why don't women like me?
33:04Did you ever see your face?
33:06My face?
33:08No, Peter.
33:09What's the matter with my face?
33:11Get, get back you.
33:13I don't like your face.
33:15I don't like your face.
33:16You don't?
33:17No, and why you sing this song about why no women like me, eh?
33:20You little worm.
33:22Come here.
33:23How old are you?
33:24I have 41.
33:2541.
33:26Do you ever want to be 42?
33:28I do.
33:29Well, shut up.
33:30Shut up.
33:31You tell me shut up, eh?
33:32Yes.
33:33You tell me shut up.
33:34I don't like you at all now.
33:35You don't?
33:36No.
33:37You don't.
33:38John Willie.
33:39Listen, stand back woman.
33:40Oh, by heavens, stand back.
33:42You see that window?
33:43I see that window.
33:44You're going through it.
33:46Got rid of him.
33:51Oh, you coward.
33:53You shouldn't have done that.
33:55Oh, it's too late now.
33:57It's done.
33:58But he was only looking at my feet.
34:00Now, listen.
34:01In future, if there's anybody going to look at your plates of meat,
34:05it's going to be me.
34:07Oh, John Willie.
34:10Do you mean it?
34:12Well, I've said it, haven't I?
34:14Oh.
34:15Oh, dear.
34:16A little shrimp like him.
34:17How are your feet?
34:18Oh, they're terribly sore.
34:20Are they?
34:21Mmm.
34:22Oh.
34:23Sit on here and I'll have a look at them with you.
34:26All right.
34:31Now, which hurts them all?
34:33Boo-hoo!
34:38Oh!
34:39Go!
34:40Who хочу?
34:41Who or城 is there instead?
34:42!
34:43Oof!
34:44WuroDavid!
34:45Buddy irmayo!
34:46Yo!
34:47Hey!
34:48Hey!
34:49My looking side37e,
34:51Go!
34:52Hey!
34:53It's iii!
34:54I'm going to take you to room 16, will you?
35:21Very good, miss.
35:24Whatever's happened now?
35:29Oh, it's John Willie again.
35:31You know, Mari, there's something about that boy I can't understand.
35:36I only wish I knew he cared for me.
35:38Why, of course, he loves you.
35:40He has a burning love for you.
35:43Yes, so I've noticed.
35:45But he never shows me any affection.
35:48Well, he's shy.
35:49He can't express himself.
35:51Oh, and I think the world of him.
35:53Ah, but don't you let him think so.
35:56You show your love too much.
35:58Do I?
35:59Make him want you.
36:02Make him jealous.
36:05Vamp him.
36:08I will.
36:09Mr. Dawson.
36:10What is the matter now?
36:11It's Cassanti and partner.
36:12More trouble with them.
36:13They definitely refuse to appear tonight.
36:14What, again?
36:15Yes, I've had nothing but worry with them since they came.
36:17Every night they've been grumbling about something.
36:18And this time I had a real upset with them.
36:19Uh-huh.
36:20Are they still in their room?
36:21Yes.
36:22And they won't appear, eh?
36:23No.
36:24I'll see to them.
36:25You follow me.
36:26I don't think it'll be of much use, Mr. Dawson.
36:27They're absolutely impossible.
36:28They're impossible.
36:29They're impossible.
36:30Wait till they've met me.
36:31Come along with me, my lad.
36:32Oh, great.
36:33Follow me.
36:34I'll see to them.
36:35I'll see to them.
36:36You follow me.
36:37I don't think it'll be of much use, Mr. Dawson.
36:38They're absolutely impossible.
36:39They're impossible.
36:40Wait till they've met me.
36:41Come along with me, my lad.
36:43Oh, great.
36:44Follow me.
36:45I'll see to them, then.
36:46I can't do it.
36:47What's that?
36:48Something in their crazy books, I suppose.
36:49Just wait a minute.
36:50All right.
36:51Double it.
36:52Double it.
36:53All right.
36:54Double it.
36:55All right.
36:56Double it.
36:57Double it.
37:13Double it.
37:14I didn't know that shop was so clever.
37:16The man's marvelous.
37:17Aren't we rather wasting our time?
37:18Go and tell Cassandra to get out.
37:20Get out?
37:21We won't want him anymore.
37:23Go along.
37:26That's great.
37:27I've never seen you dance better.
37:32I want to see you two in my office.
37:34Immediately.
37:36Yes, sir.
37:40Now.
37:41We've done it properly this time.
37:44Well, I couldn't help it.
37:45Sit on, Willie.
37:46Well, you shouldn't have danced so hard.
37:48He wouldn't have heard you, then.
37:51Come here.
37:52Stop crying.
37:53Oh, blow.
37:57You haven't looked at face with me.
37:59Let me wipe it.
38:04That's better.
38:05Come here.
38:06Let's have a look.
38:09All right, now.
38:10I have something.
38:12Oh, my gosh.
38:13I'm sorry, dear.
38:14I haven't changed the dates.
38:16Okay, sir.
38:17All right.
38:19Okay, thanks.
38:20Thank you, dear.
38:21Thank you, sir.
38:23Thank you, sir.
38:25Thank you, sir.
38:26Thank you, sir.
38:28It's all the way to the night.
38:29This is the night, sir.
38:30It's all the night.
38:31Thank you, sir.
38:32You haven't seen you, sir.
38:33Come in.
38:52Oh, it's you two, is it?
38:54Yes, sir.
38:56Sit down, will you?
38:59Come on, Snooki.
39:00You can sit there.
39:02Boots?
39:03You can sit in my chair.
39:10Put your hat on.
39:13Now you're me.
39:15Oh, no.
39:16No, I'm still me.
39:17Come on, have one of my cigars.
39:20Help yourself.
39:26What do you think of that, eh?
39:28No, I wouldn't take your last one.
39:31Well, look here, I've some news for you.
39:33For some time now, Snooki has been asking me to give you a chance in my cabaret.
39:40Well, the opportunity has arrived.
39:42I've had trouble with the Consantis, and they won't appear in this hotel again.
39:46Does that mean that I'm going to take his place?
39:49Yes, it does.
39:51And Snooki as well?
39:53Yes.
39:54Me, Mr. Dawson?
39:55Yes, I mean that.
39:56Oh, how can I thank you?
39:58Oh, that's quite all right.
40:00Oh, but I say, what about clothes?
40:03We can't go on in these, can we, John Willie?
40:05Well, not very well.
40:09Did you say you'd had trouble with Cassanti?
40:11I certainly did.
40:12Oh, I know.
40:13Oh God.
40:13I tried the Rat with me.
40:15Oh, okay.
40:18Hello.
40:18Hello, hi.
40:19Hello?
40:19Hello?
40:21Oh, Iisi Ray.
40:22Come on.
40:23Oh, I did it.
40:25Oh, my goodness.
40:27Oh, I was going to get him away.
40:29Oh, I got him.
40:30Oh, I know.
40:30We'll get him.
40:31Oh, no, no.
40:31Oh.
40:33Oh, no.
40:34Oh, no.
40:34Oh, no.
40:35Oh, no.
40:35Oh, no.
40:35Oh, no.
40:36Oh.
40:37Oh, no.
40:37Oh, no.
40:38Oh, no.
40:39Oh, no.
40:40Oh, no.
40:40What happened?
40:44Here, take these.
40:46Oh!
40:48Go and put them on.
40:50Tell me, where did you get those clothes?
40:52You were right.
40:53What do you mean?
40:54Cassanti will not appear tonight.
41:00Oh, well.
41:02That's that.
41:10Things were dark.
41:13You see?
41:15Oh, well.
41:17Oh!
41:19Oh, well.
41:21Oh, well.
41:23Oh, well.
41:28Oh, well.
41:31Oh.
41:33Oh, well.
41:35Oh, well.
41:38Oh, my God.
42:08Oh, my God.
42:38Oh, my God.
43:08Oh, my God.
43:38Oh, my God.
44:08Oh, my God.
44:38Oh, my God.
45:08Oh, my God.
45:38Oh, my God.
46:08Oh, my God.
46:38Oh, my God.
47:08Oh, my God.
47:38Oh, my God.
48:08Oh, my God.
48:38Oh, my God.
49:08Oh, my God.
49:38Oh, my God.
49:40Oh, my God.
50:10Oh, my God.
50:40Oh, my God.
50:42Oh, my God.
50:44Oh, my God.
51:14Oh, my God.
51:16Oh, my God.
51:18Oh, my God.
51:20Oh, my God.
51:22Oh, my God.
51:24Oh, my God.
51:30Oh, my God.
51:31Oh, my God.
51:32Okay.
51:34Oh, my God.
51:36Oh, my God.
51:38And then I'll tell you after when we're on our own.
51:40Come on.
52:08We'll never pass.
52:13Although the skies be dreary and grey.
52:20Promise me that you'll never stray away my baby.
52:31Maybe you're fun.