Clip from Louis CK’s New (Dec 2021) comedy special SORRY available exclusively at https://louisck.com
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00:00I was watching YouTube today, I was watching one of the ads that comes on before the video.
00:09I watch, I don't skip those.
00:10I think that's rude.
00:11It is.
00:12It's mean.
00:13Somebody worked hard on that ad.
00:17They trained a cheetah to run alongside a Jeep Cherokee.
00:23And you're at home like, three, two, one, fuck off.
00:26That's fucking mean.
00:28What if you made something, dick?
00:32Anyway, the ad was a PSA.
00:35It was an anti-smoking message.
00:39It was a Puerto Rican man with a hole in his throat.
00:42He was like, my father smoked.
00:45And my mother smoked.
00:48I wish I never smoked in my life.
00:54Please don't smoke cigarettes.
00:58Cigarettes are very, very bad for you.
01:04First thought I had was, why does he still have an accent?
01:15It's coming out.
01:17It feels like if you bypass the mouth, you shouldn't have an accent anymore.
01:25Does the machine have a setting for Puerto Rican?
01:33Is that just how air sounds coming out of this guy?
01:36Does he fart with an accent?
01:39Señor, I'm farting.
01:46Anyway, after the ad, I watched the video that I was looking for, which was a scene
01:51from a movie.
01:52And it's a scene that I really hate.
01:53Every time I see it, it makes me angry, which is why I was looking for it on YouTube.
01:59And it's a movie I like.
02:00I actually like the movie.
02:01It's called Good Will Hunting.
02:03Remember Good Will Hunting?
02:04Of course, right?
02:05Matt Damon.
02:07Great performance.
02:08He plays a very complicated young man wearing a tight T-shirt for a whole movie.
02:13And here's the thing.
02:14Here's my issue with Good Will Hunting.
02:16Matt Damon also wrote the movie, OK?
02:19So he basically sat down.
02:20He's like, first of all, I am amazing.
02:27I'm a construction worker.
02:28I'm, like, working class.
02:31And I drink beer.
02:32And I get in fights.
02:33I get in so many fights.
02:36My friends are like, you're out of control, man.
02:38And I'm like, shut up.
02:40This is the way I am.
02:43But then also, I'm a genius.
02:48Ooh.
02:50I didn't even go to school.
02:51I just know things.
02:52I don't know why.
02:53I just know them.
02:56And all the nerdy geniuses that studied for years are like, he's so much smarter than us.
03:02It's making us upset.
03:04It's insane.
03:05It's fucking insane.
03:08It only makes sense if he wrote it for himself to be the guy.
03:15So the scene I was looking for, it's the worst example of that in the movie.
03:18Here's what happens.
03:19He goes to a bar.
03:20And he meets a woman.
03:22And he likes her.
03:23And another guy likes her, too.
03:25But she picks Matt Damon.
03:27Because he wrote the fucking movie.
03:29Because he decided.
03:30You understand?
03:32And she doesn't like him.
03:33She likes me.
03:34You better believe it.
03:39So he gets her phone number.
03:41And then he goes outside.
03:42And he sees the other guy in the window of a restaurant.
03:45And he decides to taunt him.
03:47So he goes over.
03:48He tells his friends, hey, come here.
03:50Watch this.
03:52And he says to the guy, hey, do you like apples?
03:59And the guy says, yes.
04:05And Matt Damon goes, well, I got a number.
04:09How do you like them apples?
04:12And all Matt Damon's friends go, oh!
04:16Oh!
04:18This was amazing!
04:21Oh!
04:23Oh, my God!
04:26Oh, my God!
04:30You were ready with that!
04:33How?
04:38You know how he did it?
04:39He wrote the whole fucking movie, OK?
04:41He made everybody say all the things.
04:48Otherwise, this doesn't happen.
04:50I mean, he hinges the whole fucking prank on the guy liking apples.
04:55The guy must like apples.
04:58Who the fuck, who would say yes to do you like apples?
05:05Coming from a clear antagonist.
05:10Who's setting him up, gathered his friends.
05:18Do you like, hey, wait, guys, watch this.
05:21Do you like apples?
05:26God damn it, I do.
05:31I wish I didn't.
05:34Because I can tell this is not going to go my way.
05:39But I just, I can't lie.
05:42They'll know it.
05:43They'll know it.
05:44Because boy, do I like apples.
05:48Do you understand?
05:49If he says no, Matt Damon is fucked.
05:52He's fucked in the face for life.
05:55He's got nothing.
05:57Do you like apples?
06:00No.
06:07Dude.
06:09Fucking guy.
06:10No, come on, seriously.
06:11Seriously.
06:12You fucking, don't fucking, don't fucking.
06:20Do you like bananas?
06:24Because I thought, because the woman gave me her telephone number.
06:29And isn't that bananas?