Parade talks with Stephanie Berger, the first person voted out of Survivor 48.
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🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00I want to start with where things finish, which was this little scroll that you had in your hand,
00:05because at least when I saw you pop that dice in that little jar, I was thinking back to our
00:10conversation a few days prior where you had said all this research you did and the shot in the
00:15dark, you know, had a better chance of getting played than an idol on average. So talk to me
00:19about what was going through your head. Was there a straw that broke the camel's back either at camp
00:24or tribal council that led you to say, yeah, I'm playing this, I'm not feeling good?
00:29Michael.
00:33Michael. A confessional that doesn't make the air is me looking dead to Brittany and being like,
00:41it's obviously me. It's clearly me tonight. No one will talk to me. No one will talk game with
00:47me. Like if people are not scheming with you, it is a very fair assumption to make that they are
00:53scheming against you. That is how it works. And particularly on a tribe of six, like who else are
00:59you talking to that there's not that many people here, right? So there was no, there was no straw
01:05that broke the camel's back. I was almost from like pretty early, uh, really, really realizing
01:14how hard it was for me to make inroads with folks and that folks didn't want to talk game. They
01:18didn't want to give me a name. They didn't want to like noodle on it with me. They didn't even
01:23really want to be seen talking to me alone for long periods of time. Like it was a really, um,
01:31I, I struggled. Yeah. Well, talk to me about where, where you thought that came from. Considering
01:37that you've seen a little, now a little bit of like some other perspectives. I mean,
01:40you certainly talked in your, in your final words on the Island about like the physical
01:44strength component. Do you think it came down to that? Was it just as we kind of saw say,
01:48kind of making these inroads and putting down roots early on that kind of put you on the outs?
01:53You know, like I, I think I was on a tribe of folks who really wanted a roadmap to not being
02:01the first boot. Like folks wanted to feel really secure. Um, and you know, you see that Vula is
02:09physically not as dominant as the other two tribes. And so there was a overarching feeling
02:15of like, I think we're going to tribal. And I think we might go more than once or maybe even
02:21more than twice before the merge. Like that was the, that was sort of a juju. And that was a
02:27conversation that I had with folks. It was like, Ooh, this might be a, this might be a tough road
02:32to the merge. And I think people were saying like, you know, if we get to the merge tight, tight
02:38group of people, we're going to have here, we're going to really be seasoned survivor professionals,
02:43but we got to get there first. And you got to be having a group of people who you feel like
02:46you're confident you can go there with. Um, and so I don't honestly, like, I don't know. I think
02:53some of it is just bad luck. Like it's just, you know, the vibes don't vibe and that's what it is.
02:59Uh, but yeah, we can, we go back to shot in the dark, really please. Always. Yes. Talk to me more
03:04about it. Um, I stand behind shot in the dark still is a good, it's a good tool. And I, and the
03:12math basically maths that the more people are in the game and the strong, or yeah, the more people
03:17in the vote and the stronger, you feel like the senses that folks are going to vote against you.
03:21That's, that's the time to play it. And so I was in a circumstance where I felt pretty confident
03:26there were votes coming against me. I looked at Mary and even was like, girl, I think it's me.
03:30And Mary's like, play it. I got you play it, you know, and that was, and that was it. I like
03:37having those kinds of heuristics or having those kinds of philosophies going out there
03:41is actually really helpful to rely on because you don't second guess that you just say,
03:46okay, I know what the data tells me. And man, I was really hoping it was going to work.
03:52I didn't pull the right one. Oh, well, I mean, this comes with the culmination of a pretty dang
03:57contentious tribal council. I mean, so you obviously walked in, like you said, having,
04:02for lack of a better term, the die being cast before you throw another die in a jar. Did you
04:07expect the scroll mechanics are just so awkward, though. It's so weird. Well, let's talk about,
04:16you know, awkward circumstances in the form of this tribal as well. Did you expect, you know,
04:21say to come out the way that she did? And what was sort of your reaction in the moment to the entire
04:26stargazing conversation? I mean, you see my reaction in the moment, which is just,
04:32I think it's possible for a person to be out there and appreciate the place that we are
04:38and to be playing with a capital P and for people's games to look really different, right?
04:44Kevin's game is really like coming in for a quick touch being like, you're safe, you're good. I love
04:51you. And then like running to the next person, right? Like that's his game. Cedric's game is
04:56super cool, right? He's just chilling. He's like sitting back. Justin's game is like, what if I
05:02gave you another pizza metaphor? Would that make you feel safe? Right? Like everybody is playing
05:08a different game and they're all their own unique ways of approaching it. And so like, I respect
05:15every single person for every single approach for how they decide they want to go out there and do
05:19this. Like, I think that that's cool. And I think that's what the fans want, which is like, I want
05:25to see people play like a whole variety of ways. That's why the game works. Like that's why you can
05:32do 48 seasons of it. And people aren't bored yet is because humans are so interesting.
05:39So there was at one point, wasn't shown, but you kind of had this very interesting moment
05:45in the tribal council where you said, I've heard most people's names today.
05:51Pay attention to those whose names you didn't hear. Talk to me about, you know, your purpose
05:57behind that. Was that like a last minute Hail Mary? Was it to get people's minds going for
06:01the next vote? What was your, your, you know, iteration behind that? I mean, as I said, I was
06:07very aware of how on the bottom I was the whole time, because the data I had was that no one
06:14wanted to scheme with me. And so I was sort of confused that folks were not like, why go after
06:24the person on the bottom? Like I have no power. I have no influence. No one wants to talk to me.
06:30People are afraid to be chit-chatting with me. And when they do chit-chat with me, it's like
06:34not a fun conversation. And so like, don't eliminate me then, right? Like that's a bad
06:41reason. Going after the person on the bottom, it's fine for a vote. But especially if you think
06:47you're going to go back again and again, like that's, you're not, you're, the Ceri Fields
06:55tenets of Survivor are that you should never close off social options. The person on the bottom
07:02shouldn't know they're on the bottom, right? Or they maybe can have an inkling, but they're not
07:07100% sure and they don't trust themselves, right? People should feel like they're part of things.
07:11And that's how you move forward with a really strong like social strategy. I threw it out there
07:19because like, it's fucking true. Like there were people whose names don't get mentioned. Kevin's
07:26name doesn't come up. Like it doesn't come up. And you have to wonder like, one, he, you know,
07:33he's out there being, I'm King of Ula. I love, I love watching him be like, I'm King of Ula
07:37sitting in his little palm, in his little palm bronze. But like, he is King of Ula if his name
07:42isn't coming up. And maybe we should talk about why someone's name isn't coming up and how good
07:48of a strategic game they're playing and how much they're running things if their name isn't coming
07:53up, right? Like, uh-oh. Well, you speak about Kevin, I do want to mention the challenge, the
07:59immunity challenge, because from our perspective, you come back and you immediately cop to what
08:05ended up being a very, you know, narrow comeback and then narrow defeat. Talk to me about your
08:10intention behind that, because on the other side, we see Kevin being like, listen, I'm fine with her
08:15taking all the blame for this. Data, that is all data gathering, right? You throw out a, hey guys,
08:22oh, and I did feel that way. Like to be clear, you can both feel a certain way and be leveraging it
08:29in the game. That's a social game. It's data, right? Like, they do not console me. No one is like,
08:38you're fine. We are not going to lose you, except for Mary, who looks at me and is like, I trust you
08:44and I don't care about the puzzle. That doesn't matter to me, right? So it becomes abundantly clear
08:50to me, even more so, that it is time to play my shot in the dark, that I am not making inroads
08:56with these folks, that I am not in a position of influence or power within this group, because
09:02no one actually cares that I'm upset. No one cares. And like, that's the thing, right? Like,
09:08I'm not, to be clear, I'm not expecting people to care that I'm upset. I'm Survivor. It's Survivor.
09:13Like, that's Survivor, baby, you know? But like, I am testing the waters of how much
09:21they're interested in how I feel and how much people are willing to go to bat for me and protect
09:27me in front of other people, versus having those conversations with me privately, right? Justin
09:32pulls me in and is like, you're safe with me. Like, I gotcha, you know? And I'm like, that's not a good
09:37Justin. Hold on. Can I do it again? It's a very, like, Staten Island coffee talk type of accent.
09:43I went the wrong direction. I know, you went south instead of north.
09:47A moment that didn't make air that I loved is Justin looking at my pants and going,
09:52those pants, they ca-hot?
09:55Like, you could script it better, except for like, if Ben Affleck himself stepped out and said it.
09:59Like, that is one of the most Bostonian things ever. Yeah, exactly. I do want to talk about,
10:05obviously, you know, we talked about this in the preseason, you mentioned it on the episode,
10:09Sitting on Your Hands. Now, like you had said, you had felt that the vibes were a little bit
10:15like you had said, you had felt that the vibes were not vibing with you specifically in this
10:18tribe. But let's say you did try to pursue this more aggressive style of play. In hindsight,
10:24what do you think your game plan would have been? Would you have been pursuing specific people,
10:28trying to form a four-person thing like we see on the episode?
10:30I have a question. First of all, if you're going to refer to my hands,
10:34please make sure you refer to them as being freshly manicured.
10:37Hey, I mean, listen, if people follow you on social media, we know that you're all about-
10:41Oh my god!
10:43Okay, they're the Vula Buff, and I will have this on for much longer than I had the Vula Buff on.
10:52Uh, ooh, great question. So I think something you guys don't see is how close Kevin and I were.
10:59Like, Kevin and I have this really wonderful moment in the sand at night. We sleep next to
11:05each other. By the way, survivor tip for everybody who's going out there. One, don't get a spray tan
11:10beforehand. It will come off before you get out there. It's just not worth it. There's five days
11:14of Ponderosa. It won't happen. And two, where people sleep is where people are aligned. Period.
11:20Period. Like, there was me, Kevin, Mary in the sand, and you got said, say, and Justin on the
11:28shelter. And I didn't sleep in the shelter because that thing was terrible. It was horribly built.
11:33It's like a physical manifestation of Vula's sort of like interpersonal drama.
11:40But, but, uh, you don't get this moment of Kevin and I in the sand. Kev has his arm in a sling,
11:46but he doesn't want folks to actually see it in a sling. He's worried. Uh, and he has me put his
11:53sling on, and we have this like really special moment in the sand, and we're like, we're just
11:57sort of kiki-ing. I forgot what your question was. No, so, so is that like, you would have made an
12:01immediate in-row with him? I felt like I was making in-roads, but he, again, he's, he is
12:09super strategic. Like, that is, I have finance managers at work. Like, he's a finance manager.
12:15Like, that's who my go-to person is at my job, is like sitting with my finance guy and be like,
12:20what are we building, sir? Uh, and so, like, that's who I would have liked to make further
12:25in-roads with. And I think if I had, then Kevin tells me about, say, his idol, and then we maybe
12:30play something different at tribal, right? We say, hey, I, I know I'm on the bottom. I know I'm
12:35going. Maybe we go 3-3, right? Maybe we say, let's flush the idol, like, you know, fuck it,
12:41we ball. First vote, let's go, right? And, and that's a harder strategy. Like, that's playing
12:47more assertively, but it's playing more assertively with more data to support it versus, um, like,
12:55just coming in to be assertive, to be assertive. Like, that was, I was never going to do that. I
13:00already know that that's my Achilles heel. It just wasn't, it wasn't how I was going to operate,
13:03but I think we could, if I had had the information about the idol, I think we'd maybe go 3-3 and you
13:09flush it. And if I go home trying to flush an idol, I go home trying to flush an idol. But,
13:13like, maybe you get the boys to swap on rock. Like, they're not, are people going to rocks
13:17on the first vote? I would pretend to, because I'm going to, you know, like, I'm, I'm pushing,
13:22I'm pushing it because I'm going to be safe, right? And then we, and then we, like, go hard,
13:27like, I don't know. Uh, well, listen, I know that, uh, nobody wants to be the first voted out,
13:33but like, you also got the experience to be able to watch your own funeral. And like you've said,
13:37it seems like you're in a really great headspace at this moment. It seems like a lot of it was,
13:40was circumstantial as well. But I mean, I always relish the opportunity to talk with you even more
13:46so due to the fact that you were able to fill in some of these blanks, I think for me and a lot of
13:49people as to why you were pursuing the line that you did that unfortunately, you know, led to this,
13:55this huge advantage play and boot out of it. So thank you as always for bringing your authentic
14:02self, fantastic wardrobe and all the outfits, you know, backing you up right now to this.
14:08I'm in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Look like I spent 12 years in New Orleans, this town invented
14:13the jazz funeral. Like we celebrate, we celebrate when we die, you know, like that's how it's built.
14:20And I, I can't, that's, that's my nature. Like I'm not, I, I grieved this. I was so sad. I promise
14:28you, I've cried plenty of tears over this. It was devastating. And you know, I mean, I think I
14:35actually, I don't know if you know this, we went out and played seven weeks after my mom passed
14:38away. Like it was, Oh my God, I did not know that. Yeah. It was a really wild season of my life.
14:44But I also like Mike, like I've experienced real devastating things in my life. Like
14:52being the first boot on a reality TV show that I'm fucking obsessed with
14:56could be worse.
15:00Well, I'm fucking obsessed with you, Stephanie.
15:03I've missed you.
15:04I know. I'm so glad we got the chance to talk.
15:06Yeah, we orchestrated this just so you and I can talk sooner.
15:10Well, thanks. Thank you for drawing the wrong scroll then from that perspective. So I, I'm
15:15looking forward to talking all things nails and beyond I'm sure in the future. And so sorry for
15:21your loss very belatedly, but I hope you hope you and your family are doing well. Enjoy Mardi
15:26Gras enjoy the extended funeral and so great getting to chat as always. Have a great day.
15:32Bye