HGTV’s Ben and Erin Napier: From College Crushes to #CoupleGoals
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00:00Is about every day you should do something to make your spouse fall in love with you again
00:04And Ben is like extremely married to that philosophy
00:09we always say communication which is
00:12obvious
00:13but Aaron and I
00:16Overshare everything, but we are advantaged in that we are always together. We work together
00:22We're together 24 hours a day
00:24so it's very easy for us to communicate well and some people they say like oh I could never work with my spouse and
00:32Maybe this that you've never actually tried if you have to go to your parents house
00:36Okay, and you're only there for a couple days or maybe just a day you tend to start getting on each other's nerves
00:43But if you're together for an extended period you move beyond that
00:47You get into this group together and but since we've met we've kind of been together all the time
00:54so it's kind of the only way we know how to function but communication is really important and
00:59Also, I think
01:01Remembering what it is that you loved about each other when you first met
01:05Try to remember it every single day
01:08We're kind of getting to date each other all the time. Yeah, like we have lunch days
01:13We do lunches a lot. We at work they cater our lunch almost every day
01:17And so we always have that option and we love that because we it's our crew and we get together
01:22And our work relationship, it's on the ground here in Laurel. It's very much like we're all at camp together
01:29So that's easy and fun
01:31But every now and then we will you know, we may be filming something lunch takes are the key. I think is what we're
01:38Yeah
01:41Dressing up going out at night to a crowded restaurant
01:44It could be just I'm gonna pick you up on my lunch break and we'll run and get a hot dog at Costco
01:48What do you think? That's what I did for my Christmas present. It was awesome
01:51And that's the point of the love notes, it's not that like I say they don't say profound things they say things like
01:59I'm just so thankful that it's you and me that this is what our life is
02:04Thank you for being mine, and I'll always do my best for you like every day couple sentences and I just
02:12Love them all she picks the garbage on Monday night. Yeah
02:17To try to take he has so much to manage we have a
02:21Small farm and he's got gardens and he takes care of all that and that's a romantic gesture to me
02:27He always makes sure we have like the vegetables are
02:30Taken care of and then we have something fresh
02:33I can cut out of the garden to cook and I'm trying every I do the coffee cup thing
02:39Where I get his coffee maker ready. I don't drink coffee, but he does so I get the coffee maker ready the night before and
02:45If there's something special happening the next day like we went to Ole Miss to speak at an event
02:51And I put his Ole Miss mug with the coffee maker. It's a little secret language
02:55We have most days. There's nothing special, and it's just a mug but sometimes today
03:03Because we're sitting here, oh
03:06Yeah, it felt like it was a non-meaningful book we honestly
03:11These are the biggest
03:16Problem ever because I mean like it's addictive it is and we will
03:20Either one of us will get sucked into looking at something and then it's like hey
03:24I need you to pay attention right now, you know, you know, we're trying to get out the door to school, right?
03:30Yeah, may is calling for you in the other room. I thought you heard her that sort of thing
03:35Yeah, phones are the worst, you know, that's that's the attention stealers
03:39They take away I bet phones take away from marriages more than anything else
03:44Absolutely say that like even like on a movie night like if Aaron and I sit down to watch, you know severance
03:51Then we're gonna get
03:53You can't look at your phone during severance
03:57But if we sit down to watch something and one of us is on the phone then we're not having a movie night together
04:04That's the worst but I have learned
04:07One important thing in our young marriage if
04:10He ever did anything that was irking me like leaving cabinet doors open
04:16I would say something about it, but now at this stage of our mature marriage I
04:23feel like
04:25When I see something like that or he leaves coffee cups
04:30Places all the time like nice coffee cups. He'll just leave them and instead of feeling angry
04:35I immediately think of the list of all the wonderful things
04:38He's done for me and for our girls today and I take his little coffee mug and I go put it in the sink
04:43I don't complain. I really do leave the coffee cups
04:47Like on the tractor. I bet 90% of the things that we get ready to complain about in our marriages
04:55Are so unimportant and if we would instead just think about okay, he always leaves cabinet doors standing wide open
05:01I don't know why instead of me griping about it
05:05I should just close the door and think but think of all the wonderful things he does for us
05:09But I've gotten better with kind of yeah every single thing to do to take care of our girls
05:15Everything they love everything they like to eat or not eat. He knows everything. He knows everything about me
05:21He knows my favorite pair of underwear if I needed him go get my favorite pair of underwear. He would know
05:27We just not my favorite
05:29Your favorite pair
05:33For you, yeah
05:36Thank you, these are two different things two different two different pairs of underwear
05:42But yeah
05:44110%
05:45Trust I mean even my parents like trust them to know
05:49Them well enough that he could take care of them if they needed it. Yeah, and it's that comes with time
05:57with anybody
05:59And that's you know, it is extremely important